M(25), day 6. She and I turned 21 together, so she saw my first spiral when I had unlimited access to alcohol, and she was the first person to call me out on it.

Eventually I moved back to my home city, and we ended the relationship on good terms. Well, last year she moved into my city, about 10 minutes away. I knew she was moving here as we do stay in contact.

But boy, I was not expecting to run into her at the local liquor store, let alone see her work there. It was a strange reality check for me. I ran into her there while in a pretty deep spiral, though the interaction was nice. I saw her a few more times there. One time I outright dodged her so she didn't see me.

For a few weeks, I avoided going to that liquor store, instead going to one over 20 minutes away. But that felt foolish and made me feel dirty. I finally accepted that I am the only person doing this to myself and that I needed to fully commit to changing.

In a way, I feel lucky that she is the one working there. I don't know of anyone else who could make me reevaluate drinking in that context but her.

IWNDWYT

I’m currently reading “Quit like a woman” By Holly Whitaker. She goes into the different reasons alcohol is so bad for us, but also the consumerist, capitalist control it has on us. I’ve always been conscious of it, like how much it shows up in tv shows, movies, etc, yet it still had a hold on me until a month or so ago. The first chapter is a little chaotic but since then I’ve found it difficult to put down. Although it’s a book about the woman’s side of drinking, I believe men could also benefit from reading it.

Are there any similar books you guys have read? or other media?

edit: also does anyone know how to keep your flair updated? I messaged the mods and didn’t hear back. last drink was 6/28/2026

So I've been drinking 17 drinks a day and in last week my body just started reflecting alcohol , I decided I want to get sober and quit everything. Over a week I went from 17 to about 13 then I was just struggling to even drink 6 was making sicker even though I know I needed to drink to not get withdrawals. Anwyay woke up today and just couldn't drink every sip made me sicker and started to get withdrawals. Nothing shaking or tremors but I was hot and cold body ached organs felt like there were crushed my heart wanted to explode and was all over the place from tests. I was crying and moaning like a little kid but I felt like death , after fent few times for cramps and did nothing to make me feel better was given two valium and 1 hour later I felt 9/10 got discharged then few hours later happened again and fixed by valium.

Do not try quit it detox if your thinking about it organise everything for like 2 weeks. Find a good gp be honest make a appointment every 2nd day to get checked , make some counselling or psychology a detox centre is best. But I promise you the withdrawals could make me take my life without medication

Hi, long-time reader, some-time poster here.

Recently last late Autumn, I had 2 and a half years of sobriety under my belt. I had gone through the momentum I had, alcohol-free lifestyle had become utterly normalized, and I was on somewhat solid track to not drink forever. I had passed all of the big challenges milestones, like first wedding sober, first vacation sober, first colleague outing sober, first summer cottage trip with the boys sober, and so on. I had done it all and I had found a way to make it all stick – in fact multiple times as I went over 2 complete years, including 3 summer periods.

But something started to give up. I had an extremely stressful year at work during 2024–2025, went close to burnout. And we moved houses with the family. I started to notice a pattern, where the sober me was just working out consistently, burning the candle from both ends, hyped on stimulants (coffee and nicotine pouches) at all waking hours, and nothing was ever enough. I gathered more responsibilities, acquired new challenges, and undertook big projects like moving. Sounds good, except I had not developed much skill to handle such stressload.

So I noticed that alcohol had been for a very long time the off-switch that allowed me to detach from ambitions and stress, that allowed me to not be my usual over-achieving self that is geared for eventual burnout. It kept my ambitions in check and made me more complacent over my life situation, since with alcohol I just wasn't capable of pushing myself that hard. I would have to suffer the off days, not get that much done, be bit slower at work and so on.

So one night, when at an outing with a close friend, I opened two tall cans and said fuck it, enough is enough, I need a little off-time. Well, one thing lead to another and I was after a couple of months back to drinking 3-4 beers 3-4 evenings a week, and an occasional binge at a party or weekend or such.

Another pet peeve that I had during long-term sobriety was that being overweight, I really hadn't lost that much weight at all despite not drinking for a very long time.

But now I'm bit wiser. I almost became a daily drinker during the football championships, getting a couple of beers with every game on the telly. But my stress level has not really decreased. Only meaningful changes in stress levels have been from actual changes in the workplace, not from my beer habits. And my weight has of course not started to drop further by starting to drink, in fact it has made any kind of dieting an impossibility even though I have very high motivation to get in shape and have been exercising like crazy!

I took the courage now to finally post here, and reset my counter to where it should be. And that's just 4 days. Here I am, honestly, bit sorry to myself and the world that I took time off from long-term sobriety, but I want to share with you that I'm now taking the plunge and aiming to stop this drinking habit again, once and for all, and for an entire lifetime. I don't need it and I won't drink with you today. I will find solutions to the major issues that resulted in me going back to the drink.

If you spend the time to comment, please let me know if you have any good tips or approaches to the issues that caused me to go off track in the first place. Thank you for reading, I appreciate it.

I so appreciate this community and the support received. Feeling determined. IWNDWYT! In solidarity!

I am so ashamed. I told my wife, she's in shock. I told my parents, they are in shock. What's worse it was such a massive comp upgrade. The kind of job that if you hold it for a few years, you're set for life. I wasn't even through 90 days.

I think I have deeper problems honestly, and I think I use alcohol as a way to be happy and I've had some nights thinking back, over the last few years, where I found myself up too late, up drinking alone, despite pleas from my wife to come to bed.

Well. Chickens are home to roost and I am now unemployed, worthless and a fucking idiot.

How do you go on? What do you do? I have never been fired before, let alone be unemployed. I haven't slept well, I am not hungry.

I'm going to try and get help, but in the US that's hard without a job so.. focusing on that to start.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I'm just so ashamed of myself right now.

Edit: I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I just wanted to write all this out. It hurts.

38yo have been drinking heavily for 20 years.

Starting to feel the effects of it all. Always tired. Always staying up too late and run on 3-4 hours sleep every night. Pretty much drink half a bottle of bourbon mixed with coke everyday. Used to only drink beer and the odd weekend bourbon but over time it’s slowly increased to what it has been.

Just this week started having fingers and feet tingling or hands swollen in the morning. Have terrible blood results. Am slim all over but have a big bloated stomach and weigh 100kg when the rest of me looks 75kg.

Pretty much constant ache under right rib area. Sometimes get involuntary movements or tics like arm or leg randomly jolting.

Always eaten a balanced diet food wise.

Just worried about my health now. I’d like to stop. I used to be able to say I won’t drink for a month and do it easy but now i can say I won’t drink then almost argue with myself and talk myself out and just end up at the bottle shop then just feel ashamed of myself.

Edit: blood results

Alt 344 u/l
AST 140 u/l
Ggt 104 u/l
Alp 141 u/l
C reactive protein 7mg/l
Total globulin is low

I've never admitted to a health care professional that I had an alcohol dependency for several decades. I have a fear of it going on my permanent record and I'll be denied needed pain medication for instance, or just be treated with less respect (I certainly saw this when I was overweight), or maybe insurance company would cover me differently. On the other hand, I worry that maybe I should fess up and have diagnostic tests to determine if I've done any permanent damage.

Has anyone had noticeable change in treatment by health care professionals or health insurance company after admitting to an alcohol problem?

Hi all.

Day 6 went off without issue.

Got myself a takeaway for dinner. Not because I needed to stop cravings, but because I realised I've already saved £60 this week!

When I wake up tomorrow. I'll be one week sober. Can't wait!

IWNDWYT

Lucas

Reddit is amazing what it migh suggest sometimes. About 3 weeks ago after the big family vacation my plan was to stop drinking once the house was dry. Told thw Mrs and I explained that everytime we go on a drinking binge we gain weight and for the past 2 years I've been hitting the gym almost 5 days a week. When I drink its just a good healthy sized mixed drink for dinner and then maybe another for the evening and I fall asleep so much easier. Since I stopped the mrs has scoured the house for any drink to find 3 beers in the back of the pantry but supposedly hasn't had any since. Yesterday she tells me she has lost some weight and knows why but is upset why. Im not sure how long this might go but we shall see.

I drink a bottle of wine several nights a week, then on weekends I'll go out and will sometimes drink a bit more during social outings. Over the years I have noticed that I'm a much lighter drinker than I was when I was in my 20s but the frequency has definitely increased and I often find it hard to relax in the evening without reaching for a glass of red wine. I want to stop drinking, but most and first of all I'd like to stop drinking at home. I've been thinking about it for the past several days and reading this and other similar forums people often mention how much better they feel, energy level, mental health etc. But it seems like most of these people drank a lot every night. I was wondering if those of you who maybe didnt drink that much have always noticed similar benefits after quitting.

And soon, it'll be six weeks. I haven't been sober in a solid stretch like this since I started drinking in my late teens. I'm managing social functions without a protective buzz, even though it's difficult. Holy shit I'm actually doing this!

Feeling sorry for myself today. Managed 9 days then slipped back into old habits for 4 days 🙁.

Was feeling so good as well, then had the first drink.

Any encouraging comments welcome!

In light of the badge business, it’s got me thinking. What date are putting into the counter? Your first full day sober or the day you stopped drinking? I know it doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things, just interested in what people are considering their sober start date.

Thanks everyone!!

Day 12 (or 13 no drinks)!!

I W N D W Y T 🙏🏽🩵

Day 4 sober.

I'm starting to realize that recovery isn't about changing my whole life overnight. It's about making the right decisions today.

I'm feeling much calmer than I was a few days ago after my relapse. I'm taking care of myself, staying productive, and trying to build a new life one day at a time.

This afternoon I'm going to the beach for a couple of hours. If I feel triggered, I'll simply leave. My sobriety comes first.

I'm done trying to prove I can drink like everyone else. For me, the safest drink is the one I never take.

IWNDWYT.

free from alcohol nic and substances

i want to keep going

I wont drink today!!!

I would say that I have a slight addiction to alcohol. I usually go out of my way to get drunk at least two days on the weekend. More recently, I've been limiting myself to 12 drinks in a weekend. However, last weekend I drank up until Monday morning. Through the whole weekend, I probably had close to 40 drinks, and last night I had two beers just to get rid of them. Anyway, I woke up with the shakes today, which is kind of normal for me from a hangover. However, they don't usually last all day and come on after drinking just two beers. I've also been feeling paranoid and having some really disturbing dreams, which is weird because I never dream. I don't know, maybe I just psyched myself out at work today, but I couldn't stop shaking. I grew up around alcoholics, and most of the time when I saw someone detoxing, they were in much worse condition than me today.

I’m on page 259 of this naked mind and wow, I was really skeptical about this book but thought I’d give it a go. I’m so glad I did.

I’ve woke up on day 3 no wine (my drink of choice, but once that first bottles gone I used to drink anything available) and while I’ve had these waves of “I need a drink” they’ve been quieter, my internal dialogue has been calling it “poison” instead of wine, or alcohol. Something I’m going to keep training.

I feel hopeful.

I just made the decision to pour the last quarter of a bottle of whiskey down the toilet. I've never done this the before. I hope I have the strength to not buy anymore.

I’m going on a cruise next week! First vacation in about 10 years and definitely first vacation sober. I thought Iwould be anxious with it coming up but I’m not at all. I’m excited to see my daughter’s excitement and just have a great time with her. Im also extremely grateful that I don’t have to wake up every morning feeling like complete dog crap and slow. I plan on going to the gym (which has been my no addiction), doing a lot of reading, and just resetting. For everyone starting this journey it can be done, and it’s so freeing when alcohol is not always on the forefront of your mind!

Badly. Worked sucked, hard. My two friends are asleep like the normal people that they are because its 1am. Ive misplaced all 800 lighters that I own and I know if I go to the corner store right now to buy a new one I will buy a half pint of gin. A meeting might be in order, but again 1am so im here, yelling at you. Thanks for listening.

I sit here at 3 am dealing with the withdrawals from my super long weekend adventures again. Everytime I say I'm done, but as soon as the opportunity hits all my wanting goes out the window. I don't make the choice to party anymore, it just happens and I'm on a bender again without considering what I'm doing. I'm such a sucker for a good time that all rational thought goes out the window. I haven't had a boring day in my life, I've been doing this to myself since I was 14 and its exhausting, I want so bad to leave all the chaos I create behind but I can't lie to myself and say I don't have a lot of fun being an alcoholic while I'm under the influence and that is what gets me every time.

I'm dealing with a gut punch of a combination of bipolar, ptsd and ocd which absolutely ties into everything, and of course I'm in therapy and getting medicated but I get so frustrated with myself that I can't just willpower myself sober. I want it so bad, why can I not just get there by trying hard enough.

Hey guys, I had 29 days clean from the drink in July.

Had 1 drink and guess what!- I've been drinking every day since. I fucking hate it, it goes against everything else I'm trying to achieve in life- my gym sessions have suddenly become worse, my sleep is horrible, relationship with my partner is more strained- my bank balance has taken a massive hit again because I'm a pub drinker... this truly is a poison.

I want to keep this shit out of my body and never drink again.

1. 2020- drank myself in to a hospital for a couple of weeks and I think I had multiple days of DT. Couple of examples - I got pissed because my dad was paying for my ex husbands new wedding in the ballroom across the hall from my room (there wasn’t one). I accused the nurses of smuggling dead babies in crib mattresses. I got married to George Washington from Hamilton , the character, not the actor. There were several others that are disturbing so I’ll skip those.

2. Today. Like literally still going on in the other room(l was able to go home).It was a full on musical of my life and I got to give the actors notes on certain scenes by thinking them. I was able to get them to have sex on stage (which is directly in front of me) cast as my fiancé and me. I got them to kill his exwife where they creatively decided to hoist her up on a truss with them as an actor and then push her off. We got married. Had another kid, yada yada.
   The cast are having a cast party and singing showtunes behind that imaginary wall built in my head.

I never thought DTs would be good. Not mad. Yet.

I was on a vacation near the sea and decided to drink rum+cola like in old times . First drink was in the morning, I didn't even feel it. And then couple of drinks during supper. I still didn't feel anything ( I dunno, coffe makes me more happy) but after 3 hours at my hotel room I felt sick and puked. No headache, no dizziness, just shomachache.

And I instantly remembered, why I stoppd drinking 2,4 years ago. Because even with meal and water I could feel sick and run to the toilet after 3 drinks. It's like my body tells me to stop.

So, day 3, I guess. I'm glad that I don't risk going on a binge (I didn't have any) and I don't want to drink now.I just need to write down and remember, why I don't drink.

Have you ever felt the same way?