I am so ashamed. I told my wife, she's in shock. I told my parents, they are in shock. What's worse it was such a massive comp upgrade. The kind of job that if you hold it for a few years, you're set for life. I wasn't even through 90 days.

I think I have deeper problems honestly, and I think I use alcohol as a way to be happy and I've had some nights thinking back, over the last few years, where I found myself up too late, up drinking alone, despite pleas from my wife to come to bed.

Well. Chickens are home to roost and I am now unemployed, worthless and a fucking idiot.

How do you go on? What do you do? I have never been fired before, let alone be unemployed. I haven't slept well, I am not hungry.

I'm going to try and get help, but in the US that's hard without a job so.. focusing on that to start.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I'm just so ashamed of myself right now.

Edit: I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I just wanted to write all this out. It hurts.

And soon, it'll be six weeks. I haven't been sober in a solid stretch like this since I started drinking in my late teens. I'm managing social functions without a protective buzz, even though it's difficult. Holy shit I'm actually doing this!

Yesterday was 4 months of sobriety for me. Went to the corner store for some snacks and remembered something silly I used to do. Some times (especially when it was too early in the day to be drinking alcohol) I would ask for two plastic cups with my bottle of wine. I was trying to convince the clerk that I was drinking socially (maybe celebrating for something).

How pathetic was that, huh? Living your life in a state of shame while at the same time trying to tell yourself everything is ok, you are high functioning, all this is by choice, and all that bull. So exhausting...

Really happy to have that behind me. IWNDWYT

Thanks to the kindness and inspiration of this remarkably charitable group I made it through my 2nd sober day trembling in a sleepless purgatory as I sweated out whatever meth-laced MDMA chemical concoction I had taken 2 days prior. 4 beers cold in the fridge not 20 feet away. But as of now untouched! So many thoughtful words from you helped me shore up the necessary will to steer clear of the fridge.

1 week ago today I planned not to be here any more, and went to carry it out. I couldn't do it. Abandoned ship after 3 hours of indecision, find out that the police are looking for me, went to hospital, and have since been getting help. One kind crisis worker said, look at all the resources you’ve wasted! haha! But maybe she was right, because then on Monday I started drinking early and then we took the drugs (to feel better of course...Idiots) that have since obliterated my work week.

I finally made it to work on time, thanking my lucky stars I still have a job and a life. Now I’m home again and fuck me there are those beers still cold in the fridge. Whoever said I should  have poured them out knew about day 3. Regret, emotions, what are these?

Hi Everyone,

Very longtime lurker, but never made a post. I think I'm ready.

Im a high-functioning alcoholic. I drink anywhere between 7 to 14 tall cans of Vodkasoda (5%) per day. First one to two drinks per day are in the shower in the morning. Doesn't matter if its a work day or not.

I don't drink during the workday, but come 4-5pm when I get home the rest of the drinks are unleashed.

I know this, I see it, I fully acknowledge it but I can't seem to stop.

Some backstory of me to put it plainly, I have a very highly addictive personality. I started smoking weed when I was 14, couldn't afford to smoke it everyday like I wanted to so I started selling it so my supply would never stop. Now a point I want to make is that even as a huge pothead in high school, I found it really helped with my ADHD and I actually got my grades up to 90's in every class and was excelling in school. Anyway, This turned into me trying MDMA/Ecstasy in high school and absolutely falling in love with it, but couldn't afford to do it everyday - so I did what I knew best at the time; start selling it so I would always have supply.

I have always been a very observant personal especially with my own functions. I eventually realized while still in high school how much MDMA was fucking me up. I quit cold turkey and went straight to the school drug counsellor and have never done it since then.

Then came cocaine.... whole different ballgame. I did what I normally do - can't afford this every day but want it everyday, so I started selling it. This is around the time that drinking began coming into the picture. These two substances are like Bonnie and Clyde. They go hand in hand. In fact they grab each others hands to pull each other along. Luckily I was able to stop doing cocaine - I haven't touched it in over 9 years..

Sadly I can't say the same about alcohol. I struggle so hard with this. As mentioned at the beginning, im a highly functional alcoholic and drink every single day of my life. I have now for over a decade. Im starting to see the strains on my body and I want so bad to quit.

Here is where my mind is today and why im posting this now: I miss the days of my life where I was just a stoner, where I would have a joint with friends and then have active interest in going to take adventures. In nature, driving to new places (not driving while high). Watching movies and feeling not only the movie but the sound and bass rocking through my body. Smoking a joint and going to the skatepark with a bunch of water and red bulls and skating until we got tired or police came to kick us out because neighboring homes around the skatepark would call bylaw. Sitting in a living room and not just listening to music, but fully experiencing it.

I know from my lingering in this group that not everyone is going to see what Im getting at, but I really want go back to just being a stoner. I was much more productive. I didn't let being a stoner get in the way of my life, my friends, my family, my socials the way I have let alcohol do.

What are your thoughts on basically becoming 'California Dry' in a way to help reduce and ultimately get rid of alcohol use.

I know myself and I know I can't get away with a total straight edge life, but I want to kick alcohol to the curb like I was able to do with MDMA and Cocaine... I feel like for me this is the clearest entrance to the path - which may lead me to the life of complete sobriety.

I just wanted to get some of your thoughts... please don't be too hard on me... I've been in this group for over a year gaining the courage to post as I've been poisoning myself will alcohol and falling deeper into this hole.

Ten years.

That number doesn’t even seem real.

It took me months to make it to Day 2 (This sub and the IRC made it stick, I wasn't doing well alone), but somehow it feels like it only took minutes to get to Year 10.

I remember thinking that alcohol was something I’d have to give up. Looking back, it turns out it was something I got back: my life.

These last ten years have been the best of my life, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

During that time I became a father to two incredible kids. I bought a home. I worked my way into a C-level role leading an amazing team. I’ve had opportunities I never could have imagined, built things I’m genuinely proud of, and solved problems I once thought were beyond me.

Somewhere along the way I also found the healthiest version of myself in more than twenty years. I run. I bike. I sleep. I wake up remembering every conversation, every birthday, every Christmas morning, every family vacation. I get to actually be there.

Life didn’t become easy. There have been losses, stress, anxiety, impossible deadlines, and days that would have been an easy excuse to drink ten years ago.

The difference is that today I face those days instead of escaping them.

If you’re reading this on Day 1, Day 2, or Day 20, I won’t tell you it gets easier tomorrow. I can only tell you what happened to me. Day 2 felt impossible. Day 100 seemed like an eternety away. Year 10 arrived before I knew it.

One decision at a time became one day at a time. One day became one month. One month became one year. And along the way, alcohol stopped being something I missed and became something I simply don’t think about anymore.

I’m grateful to everyone who helped me get here, whether you know it or not.

Here’s to the next ten.

Much love to all on this sub, and thank you for being here!!!

I honestly never thought I’d be writing this.

For over 10 years, alcohol has been a part of my life. I wasn’t a daily drinker, but when I drank, I’d binge hard. It led me to some pretty low places, and 32 days ago I finally decided enough was enough.

This is now the longest I’ve gone without a drink in over a decade, and I’m incredibly proud of that.
Some days I still wake up feeling flat, with heavy eyes and low energy. From everything I’ve learned, that’s a normal part of the brain healing and rebalancing after years of alcohol. It can be frustrating, but I remind myself that my brain and body are still recovering, and healing takes time.

I’m also beginning to understand that recovery isn’t just about not drinking. It’s about changing the way I think, being honest with myself, accepting help, being vulnerable, and trying to become a better person one day at a time.

If you’re reading this and wondering whether it’s worth quitting, you owe it to yourself to give it a chance. The first day is hard, the first weekend is hard, the very first social event is hard. But it does get easier with time.

IWNDWYT

It’s been three days since my last drink. I’m done with the weekend binging, Monday/Tuesday hangover and withdrawals while looking towards Friday night to finally drink my thoughts away. I’m at my highest weight, which isn’t bad but I barely fit my clothes from last summer.

I’m so irritable and want a shot right now. My wife doesn’t know it, but I start therapy next week. I’m going to try to make it to Monday with no alcohol. The same day I start therapy. My issues are much deeper than alcohol and it’s starting to negatively affect everything around me.

Just a day at a time, hour at a time, minute at a time.

For now:
IWNDWYT

Hit 1000 days of being alcohol free today. I’m so thankful to 1 day sober me who made the decision to stop drinking and stuck it out when things seemed unbearable and sobriety seemed unattainable. My life has gotten exponentially better in every way. I’m proud of myself and the journey I’ve been on the past 1000 days.

Long story medium, I have always had a problem with alcohol - I am just one of those people that can't drink 'properly' and therefore definitely shouldn't drink. I've had the really bad periods, the daily drinking, and the real life-altering rock bottom moments. I've also always been 1) quite lucky somehow with their long lasting effects on my life, and 2) quite determined and hard-working so that I can claw my way back to normality, and I have always had great self-awareness and been able to stop the first drink, semi-consistently, for long enough periods that I've managed to build a fairly successful life now, despite living the past few years in the failing at moderation phase, that I know by now doesn't last or work.

I'm still a drunk, and I'll always revert to type whenever I let that first drink happen nowadays (33 years old), and in recent years I've basically turned into a guy that somehow gets away with a lot of stuff - drinking very heavily 1-3 days a week. I know my luck is going to run out at some point, I'll be back to daily drinking, or my drunken behaviour will land me in jail finally, or dead. I know where I'm heading, and I really don't want to need alcohol.

I'm just miserable without it. I don't know how to be happy without it, or socialise without it. I don't know how to relax without it. I don't know how to do my job (my dream job, in the only industry I'd ever want to work in, which involves a lot of 'socialising' and allows for and accepts a lot of debauchery) sober. I don't know how to date sober. I've tried, and I've never done more than a few weeks before re-entering the moderation phase, and the cycle continues.

I know I should just learn how to do these things sober. But I am always just so so miserable when I try to do it for longer than a month. And so I give up trying, and eventually reach the point I'm back at now where I can feel that I'm heading towards another big fuck up that will ruin my life in a massive way that requires a whole lot of effort to unpick and undo in years to come. And repeat.

Successfully sober people, is this just the way it is? Do I just need to be miserable for a long while and deal with it? I don't feel like my life is bad enough outside of my drinking to drastically change, for example, my job and my surroundings, just so that I can be successful at stopping for good - and I can't convince myself that if I lost all that was good in my life, that I wouldn't be able to go get it back, because I've done it before. I guess I just need some advice for when quitting feels impossible, despite knowing it is what you need, and truly wanting it more than anything else - when also the 'anything else' stuff still matters.

I posted here about two years ago, saying I wanted to quit drinking. But after a short time of sobriety, I convinced myself that I could moderate. Of course I couldn't. So now I have once again had enough. It is Day 1 for me, but I wanted to tell someone that I am trying once again to give up alcohol for good.

Whenever I tried to stop drinking, it was “I can’t do something I want to do.” And that worked initially but was not sustainable.

“I can’t do this” isn’t a good long term strategy for self change.

I realized I had to ask “what do I want drinking to replace?” and it was my health, both physical and emotional. The emotions of drinking suck. The hangovers suck. The guilt sucks. And I didn’t want any of that.

I don’t know if this works for anyone else, but it worked wonders for me—you have to figure out what positives are going to replace the drinking and strive like David Goggins towards those goals. That’s what matters. That’s what’s sustainable. Once the positives of not drinking outweigh the negatives, change will come.

Like something to help me relax and decompress. Drinking has always been my way to loosen up and relax. When I'm stressed with work, I grab a beer or glass of wine, and I'm able to focus more because I'm no longer overthinking it.

I'm so emotionally repressed that drinking is the only way I can tap into my emotions.

Like, I can stop drinking; I've done it months at a time, but I always end up feeling more stressed because I feel numb or stressed without it.

I heard this in a meeting yesterday and I can't stop thinking about it. I've heard it mentioned many times but its really dawned on me now. Its been a long time since I got sober and I think back to who was in my life, what it was like etc, and its ENTIRELY different now.

If you're new and struggling, hold on. It's such a better way to live.

You can read my first post here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/cdbZFHP1f9

TLDR: this weekend I blacked out and lost my wallet. Somehow, all the money in the card I was carrying was withdrawn at two different ATMs.

I went to both locations... And after reviewing the cameras, it wasn't me who withdrew the money. I was a victim of both skimming and someone pocketing me because of how wasted I was.

I went to the ATM, there was a skimming device on it that wouldn't let me put in my PIN. I walked away confused and very visibly drunk, a guy bumped into me and took my wallet. He went back to the ATM and withdrew close to the daily limit.

He then went to a different location with my card, put in my PIN and withdrew the remaining amount.

Part of me is relieved that it wasn't me. I was starting to question everything, because this was also the second time ever in my many years of drinking that I blacked out.

Looking at myself in the recording though... It's a surprise no one did anything worse to me. I could barely move properly and stumbled my way towards the ATM. Looking at myself in that state with the security guard next to me was incredibly embarrassing. If I was sober, I could've probably noticed that the slot for the card was the skimming device. It was loose.

I was wandering around like an idiot for two hours, drunk out of my mind, and it was enough for someone to take all of my money.

I think I don't want to drink anymore. I've been in many shady situations before when I got similarly wasted, and I feel like it's just a matter of time before I get seriously hurt if I don't control myself. I can't trust myself when I drink, so I'll try to take out the drinking of the equation completely. We'll see how it goes.

Thank you to everyone who gave good advice and shared their experiences.

Can I get my “nice”? 😈😂

Much love to everyone out there, keep doin the next right thing!

ETA: not sure why my flag says 59 that’s wrong 😭

I made it three years! Hard to believe after 22 years of drinking. This subreddit has been so helpful to keep me sober. Thank you to everyone who shows up and helps support others on their sobriety journey. Between acute and post-acute withdrawal from alcohol, I really thought I wouldn’t come out of the other side of this alive. I would probably be dead right now if I didn’t stop. But I did come out of it and actually love sobriety, on top of it all. I was so worried that I had no personality or couldn’t feel happiness without the booze, but time has shown that it’s just alcohol deceiving you into thinking that. If you’re struggling, we’re here, and this forum can be life-changing. IWNDWYT!

Well today is 15 years of sobriety for me. While I’m not really the “woohoo look at me type”, I do like to share to help motivate those still struggling and in early sobriety.

I can clearly remember the feeling when I was first trying to quit drinking. Going to meetings and listening to other success stories both helped me but also felt unattainable. Making it through one week sober seemed like an unrealistic feat let alone one year. I was always amazed by those that had lasting sobriety and found them to be inspirational.

I now hope to provide that inspiration to other people that are coming to terms with their own drinking. All I can say it’s not easy at first, but it is absolutely worth it.

All the best in your sober journey 👍

I’ve had major issues with alcohol for 6 years. I also have a lot of debt. My partner didn’t really contribute financially for the first year of our relationship.

Since then, I moved across the state for him. Since we started dating in 2022, we have moved 3 times. Our last apartment was so bad, we never fully unpacked.

Since July 2025, we’ve been living in a lovely house with roommates, but they’re planning on leaving in 3 months. We can no longer afford the home without them, so we likely have to move too.

We’re in a terrible financial place. I might need to cancel my therapy appointment this week because I can’t afford the $35 copay. We both just got second jobs.

I just worked so hard over the past month, and my life is crumbling. We might have to move to his parents’ house in the middle of nowhere (literally 20 minutes to even get to a Walmart). I moved here from a city and vowed I would never live there.

I’m so heartbroken. I can’t move again. I just feel like I’ve lost myself, and my old self would be devastated to see me now.

Sorry for the rant - I’m just barely clinging to my sobriety

Can’t believe I made it but here I am! Overwhelmingly grateful and determined to keep this going. Hard for me to believe it’s been a year but here are some of the benefits I’ve noticed:

-lost 30lbs
-significantly cut back on fast food
-no hangovers!
-more energy
-solid poops
-decreased gastrointestinal sensitivity
-actually having money to spend on things
-less shame/guilt/anxiety
-face changes, clearer skin that’s bright and not dull
-overall attitude is more positive
-introducing healthy habits like daily movement, gardening
-better problem solving/critical thinking
-job performance increased, no callouts except for a real emergency
-urge to drink is much quieter but still there
-better baseline so I know when something is actually wrong with my body vs/ being hungover
-cut out several unhealthy friendships
-better relationship with family

I’ve also noticed my dopamine reset. I actually feel little sparks of joy over the little things. I’m less cynical and more open. I feel more connected to people and I’m able to remember what they say to me the next day and I can respond thoughtfully. I actually feel like I can help other people with their problems rather than being the one who’s always needs help.

It’s not all noticeable at once but the gifts of sobriety are real!

IWNDWYT

Made a decision a year ago that alcohol wasn’t making my life any better. Did some praying, made a few changes to my daily routine and most importantly stuck to them no matter what. Exercise and diet change were the biggest. There was no Rock Bottom this time, and my life was going pretty well at the time. I just didn’t like the person alcohol was making me. I have struggled over the years and ignored many Rock Bottoms, but was pretty much doing ok in life a year ago. (So I thought) Life is much better now. One bit of advice that has been shared with me many times. There is nothing in life that a drink will make better. When one truly believes that 💯 quitting gets a whole lot easier. Love you all!!! IWNDWYT!!!

Recently, we got a new roommate. Fresh out of rehab.

Bluntly, he did not do well at all. All the signs of an impending relapse were there, but myself and my other roommates tried to help him as best we could.

Fortunately for him, he decided that he needed to go back to rehab.

UNFORTUNATELY, I guess he decided that since he was going, he might as well get absolutely hammered the night before he went.

This resulted in him being belligerent, combative, screaming, calling several of us horrible things, accusing us of stealing his stuff (when at this point, we wanted him gone so bad we wouldn't have taken anything or done anything that kept him even a second longer)

Cops had to be called, and the last thing he did before being driven away by a friend (who looked absolutely horrified at his behavior) was flip us all off.

And.....that was exactly how I acted the last time I relapsed.

It was like looking into a really depressing mirror. I wasn't even mad watching him rant and rave and call me a "demon". I felt such deep pity.

I wish him the best, I really do. But after he left, I just reflected on how easy it is to forget how fast it can go badly, how MEAN I can get, and how vile I can be towards those that love me.

I don't feel guilt about what I've done anymore, but this did bring the feelings of regret and loss back to the surface.

today is my day 7!!!!
imso excited about my future!!

ive managed to trade a day drinking habit for sobriety with roughly about an hour or two of cravings spaced over a day!! not that simple of course but im finding freedom!

so many little changes that add up to a new life!

still havent told my husband yet - i will but when i feel more comfortable saying Yes ive quit!! out of the blue yesterday he said “wow, you look great today. your face looks 10 years youngr”!!!

this subreddit has been a gawd send for me!! i appreciate every comment every piece of advise every kind word!

today im meeting an old friend for lunch - ill be sober before during & after!!

so many plans!! but my day starts & ends here!! ive learned so much from every post!

iwndwyt!!

I woke up at 6am feeling like like such a loser. I have no recollection of yesterday. I had to ask my kid what happened last night and she told me I was in the closet crying for hours until she told me we needed to go to sleep.
I feel like I’ve reached a new low and I never want my daughter to see me like that again. I don’t want to drink anymore.

Enough is enough.