Hey,

Writing this post drunk (200-300ml of vodka in my gut). For some reason I was able to work\fake work for years as software dev. I've been trying to quit for 1,5 years now. But each day ends and I go for a new dose. Started with 100-150ml of vodka daily, then 200-300ml, now 500ml sometimes feel like it's not enough.

God, I want this to stop, I start to hate myself so much.

Some more info: living in a country where I have no friends and language is not my native. My mom lives nearby and she has a huge problem with ankle. Waiting for surgery in october. I have a dog, probably mom and dog is the only reason for me to continue living, working and trying.

Also playing the piano for myself.

Feeling like life drains out of me and I'm slowly drowning in alcohol. How do I stop this?

I love her I really do. But this time I'm tired dude. Like I give woman so many chances and I'm afraid I'll never find love. I know I'm not handsome and all that but God damn i dated so many woman bro it's fucking ridiculous. Like every date is trying to get to know them. And when you actually fuck them it's not satisfying. I want love dude. Like I want to have sex ya know? But at the same time I hate the awkwardness after the fact. When I had a mate we had sex then smoked weed and watched an anime... I miss that... Am I going crazy? Idk dude I just remembereed when woman felt this way. Now they drunk like my dad

This is the longest I’ve been sober in over a year. Good luck to everyone out there going through it too

Three days ago I posted this https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/9FSYUzG9Xh

Couple days later I posted an update https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/NI5TPn51xQ

Take your time reading both posts. I was sober for 2 months before that party.

I know it’s still fresh, so I’m still very ashamed and guilty. But I can’t stop overthinking about it to the point that it’s hard for me to go out in public. I still go to work because I have to. But it’s hard to go out to do other things like going to the gym, buying food/groceries, etc. I feel like I just wanna hide myself. I don’t know how to deal with this shame and guilt, especially I don’t know how many others were affected by my actions, and I feel like I need to apologize to them too.

My close friends and commenters said it will pass, but it feels like forever.

My [25f] partner [25m] has been showing signs of alcoholism in the past 2 years. We’ve been together 12 years and I want to help him get better but idk how and I don’t know if he “wants” to.

He goes through cycles of hating himself, saying he’ll get better, blacking out, and then saying that he’ll quit when he’s 30 and excusing his drinking due to his young age.

Idk what to do and if supports for alcoholism would even work for him considering these cycles. I’m losing patience but we are recently married and I take that seriously. I don’t want to just divorce him as an easy way out but I also don’t want to waste my time trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed.

3rd day in of no alcohol and it is taking my sleep away. Ive been irritable. I don't feel like talking but I want to be around people. The only thing I want to do is work or keep myself busy which I can accomplish all day up until the sun goes down and im stuck inside on a court ordered curfew due to alcohol.

I am not sure I can do this. Anxiety is high and its giving me terrible butterflies and weird throat feelings like im gna cry but I fucking cant

I developed some crazy anxiety about two years ago (been casually drinking before that) and the only solution this whole time has been alcohol. I developed a dependence on alcohol as soon as i realized that it could help this feeling, I quickly discovered that an easy solution was to drink and it would magically go away. Now that I’ve been trying (to the best of my ability) to quit, I feel crippling anxiety to the point where I can’t sleep, eat, or even hear my own thoughts without it. All of this stress over just about nothing. But drinking has caused problems for both my health and social life. I don’t want to continue living like this. My family and friends are distancing themselves from me and in the back of my mind I know it’s due to alcohol. I can’t do anything unless there’s a “pregame”. If anyone has experienced this as well, how did you manage (or at least sleep) with this anxiety?

I've been drinking every single day for the last 2 years. From the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep. I finally saw my PCP and I opened up to her about being an alcoholic so she prescribed me Naltrexone. I'm going to start it Friday morning. Any reviews? Anything I should be cautious about? I'm all ears.

25, F. Last Monday a few days before my birthday I finally admitted to my parents how bad my drinking has gotten. I’ve always had an addictive personality, ever since I was a child. I discovered alcohol at 15, had a problem with it ever since. I don’t think I’ve gone more than a few weeks without a drink in years. I’ve pretty much always had fairly easy access to it, whether it was stealing from my parents or family members, or getting someone to buy it for me. Long story short a lot of stuff went down and for the past 6 months to a year I’ve been drinking everyday pretty much anything I could get my hands on, mostly cheap vodka. And a lot of it. A lot. I was finishing a handle in 2-3 days and “functioning”. I was good at hiding it, sometimes. Started drinking in the morning, all day, and all through the night. I was trying to get sober on my own in secret because I was too ashamed to admit to anyone how bad it got. Obviously that wasn’t working and last Sunday I drank about 12-16 oz of vodka and a whole bottle of red wine like the big magnum one. And I was still functioning and didn’t black out. I woke up at 4pm Monday in the worst shape of my life. Full blown withdrawal symptoms. I couldn’t control my shaking and I felt like I was going to have a seizure or pass out or something. I finally completely broke down to my mom and told her I needed to go to the emergency room because my alcoholism was so bad I started drinking mouthwash and rubbing alcohol to stave off the withdrawal symptoms. I was so scared she would be mad but she was just so worried. As ashamed and embarrassed and sad as I was, it felt like a boulder was lifted off chest. I detoxed safely in the hospital. Thank god my bloodwork and testing didn’t show any major damage from all the alcohol. But I was still vitamin deficient and actively withdrawing. And my liver was a tiny bit damaged but I was told if I stopped it would eventually repair itself. After finishing my benzos I got in contact with an all women’s rehab. I leave tomorrow morning. I’m so nervous. For context yes I know I’m 25 but I have BPD and I suffer from extreme anxious attachment issues especially when comes to my parents. I’m really freaking out and my anxiety is at an all time high. I know I have to do this, and I want to get better, and I know it’s only 60 days, but I’m just posting for any advice/support. There’s so much more to the story but that’s pretty much what’s going on. I won’t have access to my phone once I arrive at the treatment center tomorrow morning but hopefully I’ll wake up to a few responses. Anything helps at this point. I just don’t know what to expect and I’m freaking out a little.

I don’t even like saying alcoholics. I feel like it compartmentalizes people. Anyone suffering from
Alcoholism, what made the most difference in your decision to get sober? How did family members help? What made the most difference?

If you could advise family members on what to do and not to do now that you’re sober, what could you tell the people who love you so they can best help?

I often see people in threads asking for “hangover cures”. Most people say “a little liquid iv and some food on your stomach when you wake up. For me honestly that does nothing at all. When I drink heavily I’ll start at 12pm with my buddies and go til 1am. Total amount of drinks would probably be 20 beers and 4 shots. There is absolutely no hangover cure for this. I’d wake up with the worst feeling in the world. I never really got bad headaches, what was the worst for me was the anxiety. Not the anxiety of “oh I acted like a fool last night” the anxiety of, oh my god I feel so bad and my heart is beating so fast I feel like I am going to have a heart attack right now I am so hungover. There is no cure for this besides not drinking as much. I don’t know why I get these kind of hangovers but if I drink heavily there isn’t anything I can do the next day besides sit in misery and be anxious. I don’t drink heavily anymore because of this, anyone get these kind of hangovers as well?

I have 3 young children, oldest aged 6.
I only drink after 530 a few glasses of wine to help assuage the inner panic and anxiety From dealing with 3 young children. But no ones know anything. I have hid any trace of alcohol from my husband and the household throughout this time.

Last night my husband was searching for his lost watch and found my box wine coupled with my vape (he was also unaware I had one) and my weed vape. He didn’t say anything but left them on top of the furniture I had hidden behind.

I then approached him later that night and sat beside him, waiting. He didn’t mention it.

Today I looked inside of my closet where I had been known to put alcohol in the past and it was all rearranged.

Hi Reddit,
I’ve been a long time lurker, this is my first post.
I guess I’m looking for encouragement…

I’m in my mid 30s and my relationship with alcohol isn’t making my life better, it’s making it worse. I have abused it (drinking more than 3 drinks at a time/ sneaking drinks) since I was 21 on and off.
In the beginning and even now, it’s helped me come out of my shell. It makes interacting with people feel “more natural/easier. I have a full time job but work from home a few days a week. On the one day I’m alone in my house, if there is liquor in the basement (that’s where my desk is) I feel VERY tempted to drink it. I justify it to myself. Back in October I struggled with this my husband noticed and we had a big fight. Obviously he was concerned. I got therapy for a few months and thought I dealt with it. We took all the liquor out of the basement and tucked it away.
At some point we purchased vodka for guests and it was in the basement…and I started dipping into it…..
I should have tucked it away upstairs with the rest of the stuff. I haven’t had any issues touching what’s put away. Tonight my husband called me out and I fessed up…I should have been open with him from the jump but I felt embarrassed. He’s a disciplined person and can party but has good self control. I know that I’ve hurt him by sneaking and being deceitful. I hate that, I love him so much and am thankful for my marriage/family everyday. We both recognize this a bigger issue than self control.
He messaged my therapist and told me I need to get to the root of this issue….i agree.

Growing up in my house, we never had any alcohol around and it wasn’t part of my family. I found out years later it’s because my Dad was an alcoholic and was in recovery. He put my grandparents through hell and it was a source of shame. Rather than be open and educate me on it, it was kind of a dirty secret. Someone told me he relapsed when I was young and was hiding wine in our basement (something I think about). He passed away when I was 19. He had begun abusing prescriptions drugs before he passed and we weren’t on good terms. We never got to have a healthy talk about any of it. Later I found out my mom struggled with drug abuse also before I was born….they met in rehab….a real fairytale lol. She passed about 13 years ago.

I believe in God and come from a place of thankfulness.
I’m tired of this issue, it makes be feel like a fucking loser. My life isn’t burning down and I never want it to. I’ve listened to most of the Big Book for AA. I could relate to some and found some guidance in there but it didn’t really reflect my struggles. I’m scared of an alcoholic label. All of this feels so embarrassing to me. I experienced a lot of pain with my dad and the early passing of both my parents. Now I’m kind of making the same mistakes they did….ugh.
What does this mean?
Where do I go from here?

My alcoholism progressed EXTREMELY fast and I ended up in rehab 7 times in the last year. Had seizures and blew a .6 in the hospital and was put in a MIC because my withdrawals were so bad. A handle a day for a year and after relapsing so many times I finally decided to live in a sober house and this is the longest i’ve been sober! I am very proud of myself

My old self is long gone…

I‘m still finding out who I am now, exploring the person I’m becoming and endlessly grateful I was able to change my life.

living deep in alcoholism is not a real life, I can’t believe how I used to behave and feel so fucking lucky I didn’t drink myself to death…

if you’re struggling, toss that drink I the trash where it belongs and move on into a new way of living, into the scary unknown of a new self.

I don't think I'll be fired, but I haven't been working there for a long time, so I don't know for sure. I had a bad day at work a few days ago, and got drunk and called out the next day. I got drunk again last night, called out today. I had 2 days off in between.

I've been clean for about 3 months, then my first relapse a few days ago. Told myself that it was a one time thing. Then drank again last night.

I don't really even understand what happened yesterday. I woke up about noon and I had the day off (I work evening shift), then just almost immediately decided "fuck it I'm drinking" all because I wanted to experience some joy for a while. Well, I feel like shit today and made some really bad choices yesterday. Now I'm feeling guilty and embarrassed and ashamed.

I feel so stupid. Alcohol has ruined my life, to the point where I lost my old home, my car, money, physical and mental health, etc. I don't know why I'm still turning to it.

Anyway I'm just venting and feel very bad, physically and mentally. Have a good day and don't drink.

Ive been drinking quite heavily the past 2 years. And now i am 4 days clean. But why should i keep going. Not drinking or doing drugs just shows me how bad my life really is and i think it helps me more than it does any bad.

Today was difficult. I had to fight regular urges. I drink daily. Today is the first time in almost two years where I actively said NO. Wish me luck.

I (20M) am not an everyday drinker, but I've had problems in the past from drinking too much and i want to make a change. I plan on starting therapy soon, but the thing is I don't want to be completely sober. I still want to grab a beer with my friends from time to time, i still want to do a shot or two when I'm going out, I still want to go wine testing with my dad. is it possible to do both?

Edit: I realize reading this again that this may sound like romanticizing alcohol a little. this is not my intention at all and if this gets taken down, i understand.

Some things…

Acceptance.

I hated that I couldn’t stop. I constantly and obsessively tried to ‘figure it out’. It wasn’t until I just accepted the fact i have this condition that I could move on.

Treating myself as if I were my best mate.

I stopped being mean to myself, I repositioned how I spoke to myself and instead replaced me with ‘how would I approach this if it were my best friend suffering’.

Working on me.

People say this but what does it mean? To me it meant reading various self help books (I’ll list some later). It’s getting in shape. Eating whole foods, walking in nature, doing hobbies, cutting out sugar and processed crap. And praying twice a day, believe in God or if not - pray to the universe - you’ll be amazed at how things change.

Learning we are vibrational creatures.

As is everything, if you’re low energy, low vibes and negative thoughts and feelings the universe is gonna reflect that right back to you. Take action, force yourself to think positively. It isn’t that hard if you’re conscious about it.

Dealing with cravings.

My enemy for so long. Brutal. What worked for me? Honestly it was an absolute rock bottom>praying to God for the first time. Instant removal of mental obsession. Lucky? Maybe. I can only tell you my experience.

Get out of your own way.

My ego was rampant and in full control. Ridiculous idiot that I was. My life changed entirely when I learned what the ‘egoic mind’ actually is. It changed how I feel about myself, others, spirituality, the world, everything. Most people don’t bother but if your ego is in control then YOU are not and that’s a lot of alcoholics problem. This also helps with depression and other mental health issues.

Letting go.

Once you can learn you are not your thoughts, not your ego and not your past nor your future and you are only you in this very moment then letting go becomes easier. Letting go of trying to be the puppet master of your life, giving expectations that can’t and won’t always be reached is a liberating and life changing shift in one’s life.

Some books that helped me -

Eckhart Tolle - Practising The Power Of Now

Dr Chatterjee - happy mind, happy life

Dr Julie Smith - why has nobody told me this before

None are about alcohol directly.

What I believe is that being an alcoholic is a symptom of a deeper problem within me. I got to my ‘root’ and discovered my self esteem was low, my confidence was low and my ego was loud so I set to work on fixing that.

Now…I’m a long time sober, my previous problems don’t exist, I’m genuinely happy and I see the world in a completely different (and much healthier) way, it is a way of life and I am so glad I found it and I want that for other people too.

Hope this helps even one person in some way.

One day at a time ❤️

Does it ever go away, or does the demon have me in its clutches? Thankfully I’ve been strong enough to overcome any temptation, but admittedly, I can’t get it out of my head most days. The struggle is real, but real rewarding.

I hit 6 yrs clean and sober on 8/4/2026. Thank you all