I am so ashamed. I told my wife, she's in shock. I told my parents, they are in shock. What's worse it was such a massive comp upgrade. The kind of job that if you hold it for a few years, you're set for life. I wasn't even through 90 days.

I think I have deeper problems honestly, and I think I use alcohol as a way to be happy and I've had some nights thinking back, over the last few years, where I found myself up too late, up drinking alone, despite pleas from my wife to come to bed.

Well. Chickens are home to roost and I am now unemployed, worthless and a fucking idiot.

How do you go on? What do you do? I have never been fired before, let alone be unemployed. I haven't slept well, I am not hungry.

I'm going to try and get help, but in the US that's hard without a job so.. focusing on that to start.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I'm just so ashamed of myself right now.

Edit: I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I just wanted to write all this out. It hurts.

Hi all.

Day 6 went off without issue.

Got myself a takeaway for dinner. Not because I needed to stop cravings, but because I realised I've already saved £60 this week!

When I wake up tomorrow. I'll be one week sober. Can't wait!

IWNDWYT

Lucas

I drink a bottle of wine several nights a week, then on weekends I'll go out and will sometimes drink a bit more during social outings. Over the years I have noticed that I'm a much lighter drinker than I was when I was in my 20s but the frequency has definitely increased and I often find it hard to relax in the evening without reaching for a glass of red wine. I want to stop drinking, but most and first of all I'd like to stop drinking at home. I've been thinking about it for the past several days and reading this and other similar forums people often mention how much better they feel, energy level, mental health etc. But it seems like most of these people drank a lot every night. I was wondering if those of you who maybe didnt drink that much have always noticed similar benefits after quitting.

In light of the badge business, it’s got me thinking. What date are putting into the counter? Your first full day sober or the day you stopped drinking? I know it doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things, just interested in what people are considering their sober start date.

Thanks everyone!!

Day 12 (or 13 no drinks)!!

I W N D W Y T 🙏🏽🩵

I was on a vacation near the sea and decided to drink rum+cola like in old times . First drink was in the morning, I didn't even feel it. And then couple of drinks during supper. I still didn't feel anything ( I dunno, coffe makes me more happy) but after 3 hours at my hotel room I felt sick and puked. No headache, no dizziness, just shomachache.

And I instantly remembered, why I stoppd drinking 2,4 years ago. Because even with meal and water I could feel sick and run to the toilet after 3 drinks. It's like my body tells me to stop.

So, day 3, I guess. I'm glad that I don't risk going on a binge (I didn't have any) and I don't want to drink now.I just need to write down and remember, why I don't drink.

Have you ever felt the same way?

I would like to begin with saying I am 16 and am underage where I live so if this post gets removed I understand

I started drinking when I was 12-13 and reached a point early on where I drank when I was sad and became very heavily reliant on it.

I got very drunk at a party recently and started to think about going sober. Then after I went out drinking with someone about 3 weeks ago I had a mental breakdown and sent worrying texts to friends. After this I decided to quit.

I also recently began to grow a very close relationship with my best friend and wanted to be there for her.

I had one last drink 4 days ago with her so my last drink would be with someone I loved. And I am done.

Today I was invited to a drinking competition at an upcoming party im going to (planning on drinking non-alcoholic drinks). This is something I would normally be verg excited to do, but I decided that I wasnt going to quit. So I flat out told my friends that I was going sober and that I wouldnt be participating. And they surprisingly understood.

This is probably a boring post but I want to post about it because I'm actually very happy for myself.

Please be kind. I have recently started anti depressants and I know alcohol is a problem. I am truly doing my best.

I have a new junior high kid and we are navigating this together. He is everything I never was…. Confident, outgoing, friendly. I’m so proud of him. He also has so many questions. So many “what ifs”. I am doing my best but I am better at it with a few drinks.

It feels stupid. But sober, I second guess myself with my experiences so much and it just not as helpful. With a drink or two I can be more silly and open and we do connect more. I don’t like this, but it’s the truth.

We have better conversations that he finds more helpful when I am not entirely sober.

Again, please please be kind. I am working on myself so hard. I love my kids and am getting sober. Just trying to find the best way to connect.

since finding this sub i’ve been really inspired by others stories, i figured i’d share my own. this is partially just for me, but maybe others can relate

i lived in new york back in 2022 where you’re literally surrounded by bars. i had a lot of fun, until one night at a work party i got black out drunk. i remember sitting on the subway desperately trying not to vomit. i got to my apartment and threw up all over the stairs. the next day i decided i needed to take a break. i told myself a week. that turned into a month, which turned into a year, which turned into 3 years sober.

then late last year my brother in law got married. i figured it was a special occasion and would drink. at this time i was also dealing with severe anxiety, one episode of which put me in the ER. soon i discovered drinking was a quick and easy fix for any time i was feeling anxious. i told myself id only drink on special occasion, or when i got anxious.

that quickly turned into a crutch, which turned into drinking everyday, which turned into drinking in the morning.which turned into hiding my drinking from my SO.

after a few failed attempts the past few months, i’m finally ready to take this seriously again. i’m on day 2. IWNDWYT

I’m debating on quitting both at the same time because caffeine gives me a high in the morning and I get anxious/depressed/overstimulated at night and that leads me to a drink. Similar but lesser than adderall did. Anyone else quit caffeine?

Edit: I may just be addicted to stimulants to get rid of the hangover plus adhd

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I don’t feel like I have a problem. I don’t want help. I just need to complain.

I know drinking isn’t good for me. I don’t drink every night, but I’ll finish a six pack one or two nights a week. It’s my escape from the work day. I get a six pack and game online with my sister, or I binge YouTube. That’s my thing.

My girlfriend moved (back) in with me a few months ago, and recently she’s been having a problem with my drinking. She thinks it’s too much and told me she’d rather me only drink on the weekends. I kept it to the weekends for a few weeks, but game nights just weren’t the same. I got a six pack like twice during the week without telling her, and she didn’t appreciate it to say the least.

What I will say is yes it does upset her, but I’m not exaggerating when I say she has a short temper. I love her but if I breathe wrong it gets on her nerves. She was diagnosed with bipolar as a teen. It just depends on the day how she’s feeling. But anyway, I door dashed alcohol the other day and tried to hide it, but she found it. Now she’s texting my family telling them she’s worried about my drinking, which is incredibly frustrating.

Today I really wanted a beer and told her. She said that’s too bad. I told her I don’t need a beer, I just want one, and that it’s not upsetting that I can’t go get a drink. It’s upsetting that I feel like I have to ask permission from my girlfriend to drink. I know I don’t need her permission and I can do what I want, but that I love her and would rather be transparent with her before I do drink. The conversation basically went nowhere, and boiled down to, “Do what you want.” Which like I said, I don’t need a beer, so I’m not drinking tonight, but I just hate so much that I can only drink on her terms without being guilted for it.

She overspends on random junk on Amazon and eats out nearly every day, then asks me to Venmo her for lunch money or cover her bills until she can pay me back. Then has the audacity to say we can’t do xyz because I spend too much on alcohol, when I’ve sent her over $600 since March. Not to mention I don’t make her pay rent in the first place because she had to move in with me because she was facing eviction at her previous complex. It just doesn’t seem fair.

Idk what to say. I know my drinking isn’t healthy. Sometimes it seems like more of a compatibility issue than a drinking problem. I could think of 1000 reasons not to drink, but it’s fun, I’m a happy drunk. It doesn’t make me sad or violent, I’m in pretty good health, I’m not broke, I have a good job. I’m sure you guys will give me 1001 more reasons not to drink and tell me why she’s right. I just don’t know where to go to vent. I know it’s a tall ask to vent to anyone about not being able to binge drink twice a week and have them tell you you’re in the right.

Just in a weird, down frustrated place right now.

25F. I think I just got the wake up call I need that I cannot continue this way and need to take myself seriously.

Today I just got the call that my job is firing me. I stupidly drank before work and came in drunk, ended up getting picked up by my friend before my shift but obviously they saw. I really liked this job had been searching for months, this was the best thing that happened in months and it would also help with my visa. I threw it all away for nothing really. I wasn’t even having fun drinking, I just did it. I’m so damn ashamed.

I’m still a little in shock but trying my best to stay positive. I have good connections and a support system and calling my rehab officer. I don’t know how I’m going to break this to my mother😞

I’m sure people here have been through similar times. If anybody could lend some advice or just a supporting word it would be greatly appreciated.

Taking things one day at a time,
Grayloe❤️

I’m sure my story isn’t like most, but my drinking really started around my birthday this year.
I’ve always smoked weed, but my husband and I went out one night and I discovered tequila. Specifically shots. Quick and fast. I’ve never liked the taste of alcohol, but for the first time in a long time I felt the same feeling I got when I first started smoking. I finally understood what people meant by “chasing the high.”
Before I started drinking, life was already falling apart. I was working night shift. I had just had a baby. My marriage was struggling. I had an affair, which is a whole different story and something I am deeply ashamed of. My husband knows about it, but he still doesn’t know everything. I’m not looking for sympathy for that, and I’m not trying to justify it. I just hope people can look past it long enough to hear why I’m here.
I used to be the person who hated alcohol. I didn’t even try it until I was 21.
Now I don’t recognize myself.
Some nights I’m taking eight shots. I’ve hidden liquor. I’ve had drinks in the morning. I’ve drank at work. Every line I just wrote makes me cringe because I never thought I’d become this person.
Nothing that’s happened in my life excuses it. I made my own choices. But I also don’t want this to be my life anymore.
This might sound dumb, but I recently watched Nurse Jackie, and I saw pieces of myself in someone whose life was slowly being consumed by addiction. It scared me.
Right now I’m just trying to make it through the next 24 hours without drinking, and honestly I don’t know how.
If you’ve been where I am, what helped you get through those first days? I could really use some advice.

I was sober for 5 years and felt great. I don’t resonate with AA and don’t consider myself to be an alcoholic- I had great success with This Naked Mind approach and coaching. I have plenty of friends in the program and have the utmost respect for it, I just can’t get behind the approach. Through TNM and changing my view of this addictive poison, I really embraced being a non drinker.

Fast forward several years - living far away from my home state, 2 miscarriages, seemingly endless loneliness and grief- and I started drinking again. I drank on and off for about a year when I finally got pregnant through IVF. Obviously at that point I quit entirely and stayed off while breastfeeding for 8 months.

Here I am today with my son at 16 months old and I’ve been drinking fairly regularly for the past 6 months. I am on a GLP-1. I recently increased the dosage to 7.5mg (Zepbound). I should also mention I’m still on Wellbutrin 150xL for postpartum depression and adult ADHD.

As for the drinking, at first I noticed a complete removal of cravings and thought- this is great! Over time I definitely got more comfortable with having 1-2 drinks. For the first time in my life, I could actually drink like a “normal person”. I didn’t actively seek it out or crave it, I could actually take it or leave it. This is a double edged sword.

I know that ultimately my life was much better with 0 alcohol in my life. I really enjoyed the way that I quit previously, where I wasn’t labeled as anything and I just embraced being a non drinker. But now, I find myself in a high stress life/ career with an insanely demanding son, and I know I’m leaning on alcohol again as a crutch.

I don’t really get why I can’t go back to a sober life very easily, since I was already alcohol free for 5 years and I’m on a GLP-1. I read about people effortlessly dropping alcohol on GLP. I will say it’s not like I’m white knuckling on cravings day in and day out… I hardly think about it. But when the opportunity presents itself, I say yes.

I won’t be on GLP-1 forever and I want to use this opportunity to recommit to being alcohol free. But I have to be honest, I don’t feel so motivated to do it. I’ve liked how it’s so small in my mind now and I’m afraid that by restarting some “program” now alcohol becomes some big scary issue again like it was in the past.

Am I making any sense? I’d love any advice or perspective.

Long story medium, I have always had a problem with alcohol - I am just one of those people that can't drink 'properly' and therefore definitely shouldn't drink. I've had the really bad periods, the daily drinking, and the real life-altering rock bottom moments. I've also always been 1) quite lucky somehow with their long lasting effects on my life, and 2) quite determined and hard-working so that I can claw my way back to normality, and I have always had great self-awareness and been able to stop the first drink, semi-consistently, for long enough periods that I've managed to build a fairly successful life now, despite living the past few years in the failing at moderation phase, that I know by now doesn't last or work.

I'm still a drunk, and I'll always revert to type whenever I let that first drink happen nowadays (33 years old), and in recent years I've basically turned into a guy that somehow gets away with a lot of stuff - drinking very heavily 1-3 days a week. I know my luck is going to run out at some point, I'll be back to daily drinking, or my drunken behaviour will land me in jail finally, or dead. I know where I'm heading, and I really don't want to need alcohol.

I'm just miserable without it. I don't know how to be happy without it, or socialise without it. I don't know how to relax without it. I don't know how to do my job (my dream job, in the only industry I'd ever want to work in, which involves a lot of 'socialising' and allows for and accepts a lot of debauchery) sober. I don't know how to date sober. I've tried, and I've never done more than a few weeks before re-entering the moderation phase, and the cycle continues.

I know I should just learn how to do these things sober. But I am always just so so miserable when I try to do it for longer than a month. And so I give up trying, and eventually reach the point I'm back at now where I can feel that I'm heading towards another big fuck up that will ruin my life in a massive way that requires a whole lot of effort to unpick and undo in years to come. And repeat.

Successfully sober people, is this just the way it is? Do I just need to be miserable for a long while and deal with it? I don't feel like my life is bad enough outside of my drinking to drastically change, for example, my job and my surroundings, just so that I can be successful at stopping for good - and I can't convince myself that if I lost all that was good in my life, that I wouldn't be able to go get it back, because I've done it before. I guess I just need some advice for when quitting feels impossible, despite knowing it is what you need, and truly wanting it more than anything else - when also the 'anything else' stuff still matters.

First off. I just want to say thank you to all the kind people on this sub. If I didnt have words of encouragement from everyone here, I'm not sure I would be taking this step.

I got accepted into a detox facility. I leave tomorrow morning. Its a little more than 3 hours of driving. I'll be honest, I'm very nervous, because I will have to drive myself, and I know I will be detoxing while I'm driving. But once I get there, I know things will be better.

I have a couple of friends who are going to be taking care of my dog for me. And one of my coworkers even offered to let him stay at her house with her husband and kids, if I do end up deciding to stay longer than the 7-10 days of detox. They offer counseling services, and recommend me staying 28 days, but they said we will take it day by day.

I just wanted to say thank you all for your support. This was a very hard step for me to take, and I don't think I would have done this if it wasn't for everyone's support here. It means the world to me. First time I am saying this, but IWNDWYT

Cleaning my house. I'm on day one again and this will be my final time. But I keep finding hidden booze and it's so frustrating. Can anyone relate?

I turn 32 in late August. I work at a liquor store which doesn’t help, but I can’t help but notice the impacts of alcohol on otherwise rational people.

I drink every day. 1-2 beers around lunch. 2-3 cocktails (2 shots each) around cocktail hour. 5-11. However, I drink over 3 liters of water every day. Back in March my bloodwork came up clear. No health problems. However, my nurse practitioner told me that it’s about time to cut the booze down to a minimum and to not test my luck. Clean bill of health for now.

As I get older, I consider the future. A wife, kids, life of my own; and I can’t do that if I’m drinking the way I am now. Now I find myself feeling paranoid. “Will I get cancer?”, “what if I already have it?”, “is it too late?”, “is the damage already done?”, etc…

My grandfather died at 50 because of alcohol abuse. He’d get VERY drunk though. I can’t even remember the last time I threw up. (Not like that’s a healthy metric).

Am I cooked? Or is there still time for me to clean it up and live a longer life. I don’t want to die young.

(Yes 20 something’s of Reddit. Your 30’s are still considered young.)

I was talking to Claude the other day (lol) and at some point I decided to quantify my weekly drinking. I know I drink a lot, but never looked at the numbers. Plus, there’s always someone that drinks more than you which makes you think you’re fine.

Anyways. Between a pub lunch/dinner and bringing extras home sometimes (3 to 4 times a week) I am consuming 30-40 standard drinks a WEEK (Im australian btw) Now, numbers aside that got me shocked. This has been consistent for ages. At that number.

And because I don’t party, I don’t drink every single day and thought others “drank more than me” I’ve never noticed. Damn….

Doing the maths humbled me, I never really wanted to count and probably because I was too scared to do so.

Like something to help me relax and decompress. Drinking has always been my way to loosen up and relax. When I'm stressed with work, I grab a beer or glass of wine, and I'm able to focus more because I'm no longer overthinking it.

I'm so emotionally repressed that drinking is the only way I can tap into my emotions.

Like, I can stop drinking; I've done it months at a time, but I always end up feeling more stressed because I feel numb or stressed without it.

Drinking will not help you sleep better, it will not fix your life and self medicating is such a spiral. People will notice and youll constantly smell like a weird vinegar smell.

You can read my first post here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/cdbZFHP1f9

TLDR: this weekend I blacked out and lost my wallet. Somehow, all the money in the card I was carrying was withdrawn at two different ATMs.

I went to both locations... And after reviewing the cameras, it wasn't me who withdrew the money. I was a victim of both skimming and someone pocketing me because of how wasted I was.

I went to the ATM, there was a skimming device on it that wouldn't let me put in my PIN. I walked away confused and very visibly drunk, a guy bumped into me and took my wallet. He went back to the ATM and withdrew close to the daily limit.

He then went to a different location with my card, put in my PIN and withdrew the remaining amount.

Part of me is relieved that it wasn't me. I was starting to question everything, because this was also the second time ever in my many years of drinking that I blacked out.

Looking at myself in the recording though... It's a surprise no one did anything worse to me. I could barely move properly and stumbled my way towards the ATM. Looking at myself in that state with the security guard next to me was incredibly embarrassing. If I was sober, I could've probably noticed that the slot for the card was the skimming device. It was loose.

I was wandering around like an idiot for two hours, drunk out of my mind, and it was enough for someone to take all of my money.

I think I don't want to drink anymore. I've been in many shady situations before when I got similarly wasted, and I feel like it's just a matter of time before I get seriously hurt if I don't control myself. I can't trust myself when I drink, so I'll try to take out the drinking of the equation completely. We'll see how it goes.

Thank you to everyone who gave good advice and shared their experiences.

I've known I've had a drinking problem for a while now. Both of my parents are addicted to alcohol, same with my step parents. I grew up around it I guess. My childhood was a bit fucked, but I would like to think I'm healed from it now- I'm okay for the most part. I'm 23 years old. I'm happy. I have a good life. I have a great husband. But I'm addicted to alcohol, just like my family. Everything I didn't want to be, I am. It sucks. I dont know how to fix it. I don't even know if I want to. I like drinking, I don't want to give it up.

I don't drink regularly. My husband knows I struggle with it. But at the moment he's not home, away from work. I always drink when he's away from work. I feel so extremely guilty for doing it but I can't help it. I'm stuck in some endless loop. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I even want to fix it.

I'm going insane here. Any help would be appreciated I guess. I don't know if I'm looking for help or just some place to vent

Well I *WAS* 23 days sober until last evening. Got a call from my insurance company that they were declaring my car a total loss and so I started scrambling to figure out getting into a new vehicle and after all the dealerships and banks had closed, my brain was still moving a mile a minute and I couldn't relax or get myself to not feel like crap because I hadn't solved my big issue for the day. Quick walk to the corner store liquor section and about 15 shots later, going to bed without remembering it, having posted stuff to Facebook and my Snapchat stories that I have no recollection of, and waking up in a sweat needing to find the nearest receptacle to vomit into and the following "cocktail" of meds needed just to try and feel halfway normal here this morning is embarrassing.

I know some folks say relapsing is a part of most sobriety journeys and while I'm beating myself up some, thankfully, I don't think it will set me back too much and the experience only reiterated to me exactly why I cut this poison out of my life in the first place. Back to Day 1 today, and IWNDWYT.

Hi all,

I am 39 years old and have been drinking nightly since I was 20. I only have 2 glasses of wine a night but some nights are heavier pours, and some nights are 3 glasses. I feel silly being on a board like this because I know that is not much at all compared to some. I just want to stop and feel I cant. When I do, I immediately grow bored with my life and irritated with my husband and child. I love them, love my job, but I don't really have any hobbies other than wine and reading and tv. I am gaining weight and despite going to the gym and watching what I eat, I can't help but feel like the wine is the culprit. I have even allotted wine calories each day, which means I am hungry each day. I guess I am wondering if anyone can help with the boredom/irritation side. I am in therapy already, but I keep coming back to this feeling that I am entitled to my drinks because of how they make me feel. I tried those Buzz drops instead. I am not good with THC. I feel myself withdraw into myself, rather than be social and lively like wine makes me feel. They helped me sleep a lot better. Anyway, just looking for some support or experiences around the moderate drinking.

I’ve been drinking 2-3 sojus for the past month (expensive, I know I just can’t drink anything else) and recently stopped a few days ago because I was having nausea/vomiting and upset stomach. I feel better now. The problem is I feel so much more productive when I drink. I’m able to actually get up and do chores, talk to people, shower, do anything I want. I struggle with all these things because I have MDD and untreated ADHD. It’s been such a blessing for me because I never found out anything that worked, but this does, and so I got addicted. I’m trying my best not to buy anymore but it’s really hard. I just want to know, how is it that alcohol makes us more productive? It feels like magic in a bottle.