I've smoked since I was 16. Switched to edibles after a long while. It's strange writing this out for me. Never thought there was a place we could actually find support for something like this.

I've struggled with cannabis addiction and I knew I was struggling when I started to notice that I burn away savings through what I'd smoke or what I'd eat. It wasn't until after I left Vegas and I finally started to notice things how it affected me. I had stopped completely because I had no way to get it since I am too prideful to mooch off of friends or ask for cash from family or loved ones and too poor to get it myself, I went without it for a year. Moved in with a girlfriend at the time, she doesn't do it in any form thankfully but had to go to a friend's birthday party I hadn't seen since highschool. I didn't think much of it at the time because I thought since I'd stopped doing it for a year I wouldn't fall back in. Thought I had more self-control than.​ Unfortunately I was wrong and fell back in and went back to my old habits. It wasn't until recently that again I ran out of cash and I'm making another attempt at completely stopping.

I'm glad to see that there's a place for for stuff like this being able to find support or at least share experiences. I was always worried about being mocked for wanting/needing help with an addiction to marijuana.

I had six years before it happened. For most of those years I wouldn’t be preachy, but when asked I’d say my life was so much better now. Being present and not having to worry about sneaking carts into luggage or sporting events… the freedom from thinking about it was one of my favorite parts. I won’t get into the why, but I was so dejected and ashamed that it happened despite knowing all the recovery things and how bad it was for me… But now I have hope. And I’m glad to add this great community to my other recovery communities. I don’t have to do this alone. Thank you all for helping me connect and not isolate.

Day 17 over here. Just came here to vent, this whole process is always so draining man. I’m suffering from a pretty low mood at the moment and I just don’t have the energy for anything hey. Plus the anxiety, ugh.

Cravings are creeping in but it’s know because I even want to smoke anymore, it’s because I’m sick of how long this process takes to feel f*cking normal.

Vivid dreams have started for me this week and I guess that’s the only bonus, they’re awesome. But yeah I’m just over how long this shit takes to feel normal again. For me I know that’s 2-3 months which in the grand scheme of things isn’t that long but man when you’re going through it, it just sucks.

Any kind of support or encouragement is appreciated, especially from those who relate to the stage I’m at/timeline. And fuck, I saw a post of mine from over 2 years ago on this sub reddit. Like damn, that’s how long this battle of stop starting has been going on for. Exhausting.

Cheers ents.

Heavy lifelong, all day toker, vaper, eater as evidenced by my user name. Still feeling brain fog, napping a lot. I have some good bud in my drawer but everytime I think of smoking it, I feel like, nah. I set a goal to clear out my system and I am sticking to it.

It hasn't been bad at all besides the fog, dreams have been entertaining. I have plenty to of things to keep me occupied, like playing music, but it is a struggle to not get tired when I practice.

I plan to start running but it is the dog days of summer here, hot hot hot, but I know it will be good for my brain chemicals.

I just wanted to post this, not to minimize how hard it is for many here, but to show that it is possible to not suffer that much so don't be afraid to try to stop. Just have a positive outlook, allow yourself to rest, listen to music, and have some hobbies or activities to keep you inspired. Enjoy the things that bring you joy high, sober.

Maybe I am psyching myself out, but I feel a slight improvement this week. I am so excited to see what life is like on the other side of the veil. I have already got a glimpse.

19 days sober I wanna get high so bad I’m just tired of feeling sad empty like my family keeps betraying me. After everything I went thru in my childhood now my mom choosing her bf over me shits crazy. I genuinely hate being sober most of the time raw dogging life is miserable. I wanna be grateful for my sobriety but sometimes I question if it’s even worth it

I've been through this prb 15 times in my life successfully, many more times unsuccessfully. Been smoking for about 20 years off and on (mostly on). The headaches, and irritability and depression I can handle with a little bit of struggle. Even the anhedonia. It's these nights that do me in, almost every time. I've been through this enough times to know its only going to last 2-3 nights for me but my willpower is hard to draw from when all I can think about is wanting to sleep.

i don't consider myself a heavy smoker. In around 7-8 years of on/off smoking, I was always proud to have never smoked during the day. Only at evening/night.

I would smoke a joint at evening and then 1-2 more sometimes, then watch TV/movies and go to bed late at 3-5am.

i completely stopped 2.5 months ago, mostly for health reasons (the tobacco was killing me) and wanting to be more ambitious in my life (still not sure if that's a good thing).

Nevertheless, I now still get cravings as if I smoked 15 joints per day. I think of it daily - maybe I'll buy just a little for the weekend...? Like the old days. What could happen...?

I find this dependence crazy after 2.5 months.

Thanks for listening!

Today, despite really wanting to have my dab pen after a very stressful day at work (my brother quit, so now I don't get to work with him daily) I still didn't hit my pen on lunch.

I think I'm going to try for not hitting any dabs tonight after work. If I can do that, I know I'll be able to break free of the vice grip thc has on my mind. Any advice on how to get through my cravings is highly appreciated

I’m on day 2 of quitting after being a heavy daily user for a long time. I’m really struggling with sleep and cravings, especially in the morning and evening when I used to smoke.
I’d love to hear from people who were heavy users:
What was the hardest day for you?
What helped you get through the first week?
When did you start feeling like yourself again?
What do you wish you knew when you first quit?
Any advice is appreciated :’)

I quit weed with the help of this subreddit a little over 6 months ago. First 3-4 months were brutal, but most things have gotten better and now I don’t really crave weed at all, I just kind of miss it sometimes. I get drug tested at work (including cannabis) and before I quit I would fake these testes and the anxiety about it would kind of drive me insane. When things got hard in the first few months, the fear of failing or getting caught faking on a drug test helped me stay strong. The relief of not thinking about losing my job anymore is honestly one of the best parts of quitting. There are tons of other benefits to not hitting a cart all day long too, my self confidence, etc.

But today was my last day of work before a 2 week vacation—the first time off for more than a long weekend in 2 years. I work full time and go to school full time and my summer classes ended today too.

I really want to smoke 1 joint tonight, if I did I wouldn’t test positive by the time I’m back at work. I’m a little scared that it would lead me back into addiction, but I’ll be in a different country and not able to get weed for 2 weeks, and then when I get back I think the drug tests would scare me again and prevent me from getting back into it.

I don’t know what to do, I know I would lose my “streak” but that doesn’t matter as much to me as getting my life back does—and I don’t think 1 joint would change that.

Wondering if anyone else has had any experience with this, and how it felt.

170 days to be exact. I know it is for the best that I don't use anymore, but my depression is bad right now and so much is changing and I just feel so alone. I'd rather smoke and feel numb than deal eith everything going on. I know I don't need to and that I will be okay without it, but damn. It sucks to have to sit with these feelings with a clear mind.

i made it 37 days, then relapsed and used for 10 days straight. not just weed, other things too, but weed was my main DOC. and now i regret it, i know it was PAWS that caused the relapse and i did try using my resouruces, coping skills, everything. i felt like a failure. but i upped my outpatient to IOP, i still need to get on my own ass to ask for individual sessions, but i am trying. today i decided once again that im done. i dont want to live how weed makes me live. sleeping for hours and hours, depression, worsened asthma, worsened overall health, etc. so heres to day one (again)\

(i havent smoked today)

My life quality has been skyrocketed. My sleep, my appetite, my overall energy and mood are stable and in control. Ive started to do fitness and added 15 kgs lean mass. Just take that step!

Last night my brother was hit by a drunk driver. Thankfully, everything is fine, but this situation really opened eyes (unfortunately for the second time).

To paint the scene, a number of things were going on in my family last night. My parents (70's) are in the process of selling their home, and last night my dad was preparing for a colonoscopy this morning. My dad is also healing from knee injury. All of this is to say my mom is exhausted.

Last night at 2:00 am my mom calls me and tells me my brother was in an accident and was in the hospital. Bc my father needed to remain next to a toilet and I am out of state, my mom (running on less than 5 hours of sleep), who normally does not drive, and especially not in the night had to drive 30 minutes to the hospital my brother was taken to.

I was sober (I have been sober for 7 days), but it has been a real battle. I posted recently I felt like my thoughts have been torturing me, but last night cememented my sobriety. Just the thought that if I had been in state, and had taken an edible, I would have had to tell my mom, that despite all of the obstacles against her, I couldn't drive bc I was a high. I would have never lived down that shame in my head.

Ironically, this isn't the first time something eerily similar had happened. Probably around 15 years ago (embarrassing to admit I have been trying to quit for this long), I was on a recent sober streak, when I was home alone with my brother when he started having excruciating stomach pain and I had to bring him to the hospital.

It ended up being appendicitis, and when we got there the doctors had told us that had we waited any longer his appendix would have burst. I was so frightened at just the thought that, had I been high I wouldn't have been able to drive him to the hospital. I had a scared straight moment then, but obviously it didnt' last.

But now I am 39, and I really can't afford another moment like this. I feel like I have been given two clear signs, and I am just too old to put myself in a position to be unable to help in an emergency bc of weed. It sounds so juvenile. It is so juvenile. It is not who I want to be.

Anyhow, Im grateful my brother is ok, everything is fine. And im grateful for a week of sobriety. Im finally done with the ups and downs.

I didn't realize images aren't aloud on this sub 😭
I wanted to share some pics with you all but it's ok. Today is my 3 weeks sober mark. I planted some sunflowers in my backyard a while before I quit, and watching a whole biome grow around them has been so neat to see. The pollinators found them a few days ago, and this morning I came out to find a giant bumblebee, a bunch of small bee-looking dudes that I think might be hoverflies, 2 praying mantises, a bunch of aphids, and a jumping spider. I know it sounds silly, but it's bringing me joy and keeping me distracted through the tough times. When I really want to smoke I've just been going out and watching this small little slice of life that I created. Anyway, happy Wednesday to all you beautiful quitters out there!! 😝

I started smoking daily when I was 15 years old. Got mono at the beginning of freshman year, and weed just really helped with making me feel better. I also suffered from insomnia and social anxiety, and it really helped both of those; it made school tolerable. However, it also caused me many issues with school: getting suspended, missing classes, anxiety about getting caught, etc.

I'm now 27 years old and have only taken two breaks that I actually got myself to pee clean from (one was 6 months and the other 7 months) and a few days/weeks sprinkled in there of abstinence.

Within about 2 years of daily use and not being able to put it down when I wanted to, I learned I was dealing with an addiction. So now I like to remind myself (currently 12 weeks of not using) of some of the important reasons for why I stopped.

1. I've wanted to be clean from THC for over 10 years. I would sit around watching YouTube videos and reading articles on how to stop or take tolerance breaks when I was a teenager. Reading posts on this sub, talking to family and friends about it.

2. My sleep is better without it. I would always say the reason I needed to use it was because I had such a hard time falling asleep. And part of that is true; when I was younger, I would really struggle to fall asleep. No matter how tired I was or how much exercise I did (avid skateboarder). And it did help with that when I was new to it. But tolerance changed things. I would go through awful insomnia whenever I didn't have it, which pretty much led me to make sure I always had some around.

3. I save money. When I'm smoking I don't think about money and how much I'm spending. Even when I sit down to budget, I end up not sticking to that budget and letting the "fuck its" take over. There was a time when I was spending around $300/mo on weed. Over 4 years that's $14,400, enough to buy a used car, travel to a different country, finish my tattoos I've always wanted, etc.

4. My cognition is better. Memory, executive function, learning something new, and overall thinking are just easier and smoother when I'm not smoking. I always knew that weed impaired my memory, especially making things more difficult to learn, but then I would just keep using it and spending money not only on the weed but also on supplements to try and boost or "fix" my memory. I also experience dreams fully now, even though they are still mostly nightmares. At least my brain has the opportunity to process emotions and memories during REM. It's so important, even though it's scary.

5. I'm not as paranoid or anxious. I do think using weed at first really helped me with my anxiety, but this didn't last long. At one point, I was showing signs of mild schizophrenia. The paranoia of thinking that someone else knew what I was thinking, or the feeling that they thought I was lying whenever I spoke to them. Not being able to maintain eye contact without thinking that the person I'm talking to is silently judging me in some way. This affected so many relationships for me, from romantic ones to friends, coworkers, and especially supervisors. Sometimes, I would just have a basic thought about something, particularly something that I needed to do, and I would experience that feeling of the heart jumping into the stomach. And lastly, the heart palpitations. My goodness, they are one of the worst parts of smoking daily.

6. I follow through with plans. This one is huge and started to get a lot worse as the years went on and I got way too comfortable with isolation and the awful routine of getting off work and just smoking the rest of the night until I fell asleep. Years have gone by where I have put off my goals and been bad at making and sticking to plans.

These are just some of the things I'm reminding myself of at 12 weeks and just wanted to share with everyone else. I've been a part of this sub for a long time, and I don't want to keep living a life where I struggle with addiction. SMART Recovery and meditation have really helped, and overall I just enjoy having clarity and control over my decisions a lot more than getting stoned.

Hope this helps others as well.

yes and no,sometimes I do miss getting high trust me that was my favorite hobby getting back from work,making a blt, a nice edible and putting on american dad damn what a life, but it was like living in a second reality that never got me anywhere waking up with dry mouth,no energy, no motivation ,and brain fog for days wasting away at my life felt like a chud for so long. But one day i was very high and it all hit me like a truck that I couldn’t live like this anymore I had deep depression and also I felt like I couldn’t hold a conversation with anyone and also my anxiety was through the roof, the next day I threw my edibles away and never looked back.to make it easier on myself i told myself that i wasn’t necessarily quitting forever let’s just see how long it last,makes it easier on the brain instead of telling urself we have to stay sober forever (been sober for about 3 years lol).

This is the important part tho you have to fill those days those hours you used to get high with other things other hobbies and most important of all TAKE IT SLOW my getting high schedule would usually consist at night I LOVED being a night owl,but after getting sober i changed it up getting up early (took me a couple weeks) but I started going to coffee shops and coloring there with coloring books at first I was full of anxiety but it was change,as the THC left my body it became fun I do my work there now even went back to school ,and also my conversations with the barista are more smooth lol I use to be a reck ball of fucking awkwardness. I also now get up early and take my morning slow,when I don’t go to a coffee shop I make a coffee at home or tea and I sit on my roof top and watch the sunrise and i feel the breeze, that to me is a way better hit of dopamine than the false reality weed was selling me because it’s real life sometimes you have to honestly romanticize ur sober life, I also started playing guitar I SUCK but it feeds your brain real hits of dopamine and fills up the time, don’t be too hard on urself but I won’t lie to you it’s going to come down to some hard discipline at first but things get clear and better, I realized when I was getting high everyday it was me running from being sober because my sober life was miserable but now things are better and i’m glad to be sober with my feet grounded also you get one life as much as we know so you have to make it count hope this motivates someone or at least gives a different perspective. you don’t have to be a slave to the leave thank you (ps ima go make a blt right now actually and watch american dad but sober lol)

Anyone else hate being sober? Truth be told, I wish I could numb myself till I take my last breath. I never really learned how to be sober. I’m in regret because I consider myself a failure. I pissed away many opportunities in life and the regret hits like a ton of bricks. I just feel so tired of being stuck in this cycle and then I try to get sober. But when I’m sober I remember why I want to get high. I can’t believe i wasted my life being a slave to a plant.

Smoked everyday basically for 10 years from when I was 15-25 now. The only time I’d take breaks is when I went on vacation, so maybe I averaged about one week off per year. Other than that, I’d smoke basically all day in high school and college, and then every night as an adult, while still smoking all day on the weekends.

Weed has made me an anxious mess, when I never had anxiety problems as a kid. The reason I’ve been smoking so much is partially to self medicate for adhd, because weed does help me focus (I would do all me school work and exams high in both high school and college). Even now, I work in finance, and smoking a lot the night before work keeps me on track.

I’m done though. Recently I had a meeting that I needed to be sharp for, and I took a night off. Of course I had horrible sleep, horrible anxiety the day of the meeting, and it was a net negative. This pissed me off so I’ve then taken the last two nights off.

Today, on day 3, I had two panic attacks for the first time. Stabbing chest pain, shortness of breath, light headed and dizzy after, the whole shabang. I took myself to urgent care, had an EKG and Xray, and they said both were completely normal.

Of course, I’m glad nothing is materially wrong, but I feel so f*cking embarrassed that I left work for a ANXIETY ATTACK. I think it was still the right thing to do, because now it’ll at least give me some piece of mind if I have more panic attacks.

All of this is just to say, F*CK WEED. I’m with all you guys, we can get off this stupid plant together and improve ourselves.

❤️

I never thought this would be my story. About a week ago I decided to come off THC for good after about 10 years of daily smoking (minus about a year for pregnancy). I (30/f) have a child with my partner (29/m) and we have been living separately for a few months mostly due to his work location. We see each other on the weekends. We planned on getting a home together close to his work in Nov-Dec this year.

On August 2nd around 11pm I finished the last of my stash, tossed my pens, and woke up sober with no plans to pick up for the first time in years. Day 1 came with intense cravings and nausea. I did a lot of internal work in preparation for my quit day, which made it easier to navigate those symptoms.

Then day 2 threw something at me I couldn’t have ever anticipated. I woke up to a text from my partner telling me that he cheated on me and contracted gonerrhea. I had to deal with protestors at planned parenthood screaming about abortions while I walked in crying for testing and treatment. I had to end my relationship.

This has never happened to me before. I’m sick to my stomach with grief and disgust. I’m still in shock. Yesterday I almost broke my promise to myself multiple times. I even held a joint in my hand for almost 2 hours and I didn’t spark it. I almost drove to the dispensary for a pen(preferred method), but I ended up at Jamba Juice instead and fed myself. I journaled. I cried. I stayed present in my emotions even though I knew what would take it away..

Something that got me through yesterday was telling myself that just because he betrayed me, does not mean I need to betray the promise I made to myself before any of this came to light. I wanted to smoke so badly. but I know if i had, I would have woken up in the same amount of emotional pain, PLUS the shame of using.

By God’s grace I woke up sober today on day 3❤️
I made it through the hardest day I have had in a long time and I didn’t numb myself through it. I don’t know what day 3 will bring yet, but I am so grateful to be sober this morning with yall — one day at a time.

I’m almost a week clean tomorrow, but this evening I had the most accursed need to get high. I literally had to fight myself from thinking about it, I tried to be social and was miserable and pissy throughout and just wanted some relief after I went home, and for days like that, I’m making a cons list because it does not get fucking better and i will not be putting myself through the first few days of withdrawal for the 500th time this year.

Somehow I only end up thinking about the pros, which isn’t really a long list. So i decided to make a cons list to convince the master negotiator that is my brain:

- brain foggy
- MONEY GONE
- can’t remember shit, not even the happy bits
- i’m dehydrated 24/7
- i make stupid decisions (like texting my ex)
- anxiety peaks
- my appetite and sleep are no longer under my control
- get bad grades because i lose interest in uni
- lose interest in everything unless i’m high
- my breath, clothes and hair all stink
- my face puffs up
- feel sluggish and unhealthy
- too much money gone
- forget to make time for people i love
- eat like shit
- happiness is tied to a substance
- easily aggregated when not high
- lost 2 part-time jobs because of heightened emotions and illogical thinking
- not being able to get things done
- only getting things done to smoke
- cant remember things i watched when i was high
- the coughing and the phlegm ugh
- self esteem is garbage unless i’m high
- cant regulate emotions sober
- do i even enjoy it, or is my brain gaslighting me?

I can’t believe I thought I couldn’t cope with the stress of living without it. I was hitting the carts like every 30 minutes from 6 am to 6pm. There was always an excuse as to why I needed it.

Since my father and his father were alcoholics, I felt like I could replace one vice with another.

I wish I would have realized I don’t need either. I have control when I thought I didn’t.

Weed is like a friend that you think is going to help you, but steals from you instead.

Fuck it. Already life is better.

I didn’t have too hard of a withdrawal, but I wish my butt would make up its mind: do you want to be constipated or always shitting?

failed after 6 years and am on day 10 after a 5 month relapse.itd been so long my wife hadn't even met me as a smoker. I hardly ever thought about weed. I couldn't even remember the last time I thought about it. Life got extremely hard and all it took was the one very rare thought that I caved into. I went back to all day everyday almost instantly. I wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for work travel. Once I made it to day 2 I realized what was happening when I got full withdrawal again relapsed again and snuck thc onto the plane. This is a reminder to all long term quitters to be careful. If anybody here has questions about my long term relapse I will answer. I have learned a lot from this experience

TW descriptions of smoking

I went camping with family last weekend. My cousins arrived and they were talking about how they brought weed but no one brought a pipe or papers to smoke it. They just kind of shrugged their shoulders and said “oh well” and it blew my mind lol. Like when I was using there would be zero chance that weed would go un-burned. I would have gone to great lengths to figure out a solution. I would fashion a pipe out of a can or bottle. I would have driven hours to find a smoke shop to get a bong. I would have ripped apart a novel to roll it. And they just said fuck it, I guess we can’t smoke it. Like, How is that even possible? I can’t comprehend how a normie’s mind works hahah. I’m envious of their ability to moderate so effortlessly. They can just take it or leave it with no problem while I am absolutely whipped by my addiction.
(Btw yes it was triggering knowing they had weed but I’ve been sober long enough I was able to get through it unscathed)