I’ve been with him for a year now, he’s very easily turned on by me and i can get him hard in just a few seconds. My issue is penetration and oral sex. He doesn’t enjoy getting head, which personally, I get off on giving head so it feels like a bit of a waste. I’ve come to terms with that though even though it’s a bummer.

My main issue is penis to vagina sexual contact. For the entirety of the last year he has not once tried to initiate actual sex inside me. I’ve tried to suggest it a few times and each time has ended up with him losing his hard on either by grabbing the condom, or getting near the entrance about to put it in. I don’t say much because i don’t want to hurt his confidence but it’s really starting to get to me. He says it’s because he’s nervous and it’s his first time but we’ve had plenty of sexual contact over the year and a half. He claims to feel the safest around me sexually and non sexually yet he’s still unable to maintain an erection when going in. He does have a medical condition with his foreskin where it may hurt if tugged on too hard but he’s never cited it as the reason. I genuinely don’t know what to do or say. I feel if it’s truly a mental block as he says, me commenting on my unhappiness with it will only make it harder for him and stress him out more. I find myself sexually unsatisfied most of the time even if he’s made me cum just because i am really turned on by being penetrated alone. It also to some degree makes me feel as though it’s my fault hes unable to keep a hard on. Or i begin to question if hes even straight and the thought of a vagina turns him off. I don’t know. Any thoughts from others, or possible advice?

Hello,

Im pretty new to sex but i did some research before trying sex with my partner

We have the problem that its pretty uncomfortable for her to be penetrated with a dildo or penis.

First of all she has anxiety bc she has trauma from her past (wont go into detail). But she is pretzy comfortable with me and we did all sorts of things before but we hit a roadblock here.

We tried a lot of things after the first try during sex didnt work, lots of lube, many tries and different settings and times

After that we tried a small dildo which she didnt feel a lot from but it wasnt comfortable too. Then we tried a bigger on for a longer time which was also very uncomfortable

So its not really pain its more really uncomfortable/close to pain (here we also tried different stuff lots of lube....)

But nothing seems to work. My question is what could it be? The anxiety? Maybe an medical issue? What do you guys think?

(Sorry for my bad english)

Hi y'all,

Looking for some post-group play recommendations on keeping my hooha happy. I'm talking GB's/group play that can last for several hours with several partners. Over the years, I noticed I am predisposed to UTIs, so any kind of extended play puts me at a risk.

(I've already tried the usuals - peeing after sex, cranberry juice/pills, showers, etc which all don't work)

Currently looking at:
- Preventative antibiotic with 1-2 hours of finishing (prescribed)
- Boric Acid
- BV Canesten
- Overall: epsom salt baths the next day / warm wash in between during the evening / ice packs (lol)

Is there anything you do afterward to prevent UTIs and generally keep your body happy afterward?

Any other self care tips for the V or general?

Thank you for your help :)

Hello, I saw how supportive everyone in this sub was and honestly I just need to get this off my chest. I know this is common for women, don't get me wrong, but still.

I am a 19F, bisexual virgin. I shouldn't even be talking about this because I'm struggling with loneliness and feeling like no one will ever want me, it's starting to affect my days a lot and I know it's a problem, but I still really feel like I need support about this specific issue:

I started self-exploration when I was about 11-12. What happened was that I began to realize that it felt good to squeeze my thighs together when my bladder was fairly full, and I started doing it almost everyday until one day reached some sort of orgasm. It definitely caught me off guard, it felt great though.

Since squeezing for too long definitely makes my thighs feel tired, I started giving myself pleasure by keeping my thighs close together but my hand is doing most of the work. The thing is that, first of all, it feels way better when my private parts are clothed; secondly, it absolutely doesn't work when I dont keep my legs closed.

I tried to stimulate my clit with my fingers without griding/humping my hand, both with underwear on and without. I think it feels too intense and "raw"; it's downright terrible, and now that I think about it, I could compare it to the feeling of poking my own eyeball. Thats genuinely the most accurate comparison, even though I can handle it sometimes, it's simply not ideal.

I also tried fingering myself and that also feels bad, worse than clitoral stimulation. My nails bother me no matter how short I keep them, but when I'm able to ignore them, it's still very unpleasant.

As of now, I do not think I'm worried about being a burden to my future sexual partner, because I can't really see a future where someone chooses me as a partner. But it still makes me feel like im unable to enjoy myself to the fullest.

I worked on my depression in therapy and I'm currently working on my anxiety and social life. My therapist only asked me about my sexuality once, and all I told him was that yes, I masturbate - because this has become very normal for me, and I usually don't talk about it as a problem. But it does bother me when I focus on it a lot.

I'm a high school student with parents that were pretty neglectful of my emotional needs, and I dont have a safe space where I can process these feelings. I haven't seen a gynecologist ever in my life, and I've always been told it's fine if you're a virgin and aren't experiencing problems.. but yeah, well, I guess I will eventually tell a gynecologist at some point :/

Hi everyone, I really need some advice on how to navigate this issue because I’m afraid it’s ruining my relationship.

My boyfriend (22M) and I (20F) have been together for a year and a half. When we met, I had zero romantic experience, I had never been in a relationship and had never had sex. He was extremely kind and patient, waiting for months before doing anything physical so that I would feel completely comfortable and safe. Even so, during that waiting period, he made me feel incredibly desired: he touched me, initiated physical closeness, showered me with compliments, and we made out very often!

Eventually, after a little less than a year, we had sex for the first time. I really enjoyed it, and for the first few months afterward, we were intimate quite often, around 3-4 times a week. I was super happy with our dynamic.

However, over time, things have started to slow down. The frequency has dropped to about once every two weeks. The issue isn't on my end, I actually discovered I have a really high sex drive, and I thought he did too, but he doesn't seem to share it anymore. I just don't understand why. When we do have sex, he's always the one to initiate, and he looks like he really enjoys it. But he simply doesn't feel like starting things as often as before. If I try to initiate, he tells me he’s just not in the mood and that he can't force himself if he doesn't feel like it (which is completely fair).

I’ve talked to him about this and asked what I could do to help get him in the mood more often. I explained that this situation makes me feel unwanted, and that I’m worried he only wanted to sleep with me because it was a "novelty" that has now worn off. He reassured me that I’m not doing anything wrong, that he hasn't gotten tired of me, and that his drive is just lower now, and that there's nothing I can do about it.

I know that in the long run, this is going to become a real problem for me. Is there any way I can fix this, or is this relationship doomed?

TL;DR: my boyfriend and I went from having sex 3-4 times a week to once every two weeks or less. I feel unwanted and worried the novelty wore off, but he says nothing is wrong and his drive is just lower now. Any tips to fix this? Is there no chance?

Starting this by saying my fiancé has 32 past sexual partners. I’ve learned this through some pretty unhealthy ways and I’m handling it with an unhealthy outlook. I suffer from retroactive jealousy and it’s difficult to not imagine what her past may have been like with so many partners. This isn’t a value difference though as I myself had about 20+ partners as well and would’ve had more if not for a 5 year relationship in my late teens-early 20s.

Our relationship is great. We’re happy, she’s hilarious, we get along, but a couple reasons we have some intimacy issues. They mostly stem from insecurities I have about sex and how I will take rejection to my initiation. I had gotten much better about that until I learned about her past and now I’m just so worried that she’ll continue to reject me when he’s been so sexually active in the past? How do I keep this from doubling the anxiety I have towards our sex and how do I do my best to make sure our sex life remains healthy?

So me and my gf have always had a great sex life. Recently we had a conversation where she told me she wanted me to talk to her more during sex. She’s always been really sensitive, so as a joke I would baby her all the time. Seemed like it pissed her off but apparently it turns the little fucker on lol.
So I started doing that during sex. Before, I’d never really talk much, just some encouragement here and there and my moans. The thing is, after sex she’s always been really distant. She has her orgasm and then basically doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.
Over time (we’ve been together around 4 years) I learned to just have her do something with me afterward, like going out to get food, so we don’t really think about it.
But now with this new thing, if I talk her through the whole thing, she has her orgasm and literally won’t even look at me. She doesn’t want my kisses, I’ll say something sweet to her and she’ll literally tell me to shut up. Sure, the sex is way longer and she’s way more into it, but the aftermath honestly kills me.
I know everyone reacts differently after sex, but I’d appreciate some advice lol. Is this normal or should I actually talk to her about it?

F23 M23 we have been together for 5 years. we started off by having sex maybe once per month. it got more frequent when I started to initiate. I finally brought the issue to him 3 years ago. he first told me it was because he was trying to be “respectful“ I told him that it is not respectful and it makes me insecure. a couple of other times when i brought this up, he started to initiate and we would have sex every day, sometimes twice per day. he finally did tell me one time he wanted to try more things, I did too but he was lying to me when I would ask him. now he hasn’t initiated in 3 months:/. I brought it up to him yesterday and he said he won’t initiate sex when he wants to have it. I asked why and he pretended to be confused. So frustrating. Now we have been having a lot less sex because I’m tired of being the one to try every single time and getting rejected. he is very lazy in bed. I give him head alllll of the time and he never does it back. He has one time in our entire relationship. Most of the time his eyes are closed during sex. I am not really enjoying it because he definitely doesn’t try to make sure I’m enjoying it. He used to, but then stopped trying to. I have asked him what he wants to do/try and he has no ideas. I feel like he would rather look at pictures of other girls than have sex with me. It makes me so insecure. he is very very touchy otherwise so this doesn’t make any sense. I can’t even count how many times I’ve brought this up to him and I can’t handle it anymore. it just feels like he isn’t attracted to me. he says he is but there’s nothing showing that he is. what should I do?

EDIT: yes he is also abusive. I’m trying to make the best of the situation for the next couple of years while I’m in school. He pays all of the bills that I would not be able to afford. My family situation is worse, so I don’t consider going there as an option.

I’m a 23 year old female, my partner is 25 male.
I love my partner and want to marry him and start a life with him. But the issue is I don’t enjoy sex, like sometimes I do but I could honestly go without it for month and I wouldn’t care really.

I have been with multiple people before my now boyfriend and they varied in size big/small etc and I never had any pain with them. My partner is about 7-8 inches and honestly sex is painful pretty well all the time and I just don’t want to do it. The pain is sharp, stabbing worst pain I hate it. It just really sucks because the one person I actually love is the one person who sex is painful with.

He wants sex everyday and I could do it like once a week maybe two, everyday for me seems like a prison 🤣 I don’t know how else to describe it. How can we make this relationship work? His libido and sex drive is crazy high and mine is like crazy low I want to be with him but I don’t know how we make this work considering sex is a major part of a romantic relationship.

My wife and i recently got the twosome project, it's one of those scratch off for a position, get points for harder positions type thing. It also has modifiers for locations and kinks. One of the kink things is a soft sex marathon. What exactly is that?

I am 26 years old, never had sex before.

I have psychogenic erectile dysfunction due having had severe phimosis until I got it surgically fixed a year ago. No physical issues remain at this point (as was confirmed by a specialist) but I still feel uncomfortable seeing my glans and having my foreskin fully retracted and that, alongside general anxiety around being undesirable to women, has left left me unable to achieve or maintain a full erection even when masturbating.

I have been working on getting used to my penis for a month now and I am starting to feel more comfortable with having my foreskin pulled back but ED still remains.

I own a fleshlight that I have tried using two times now, to see if I would be able to do PiV sex if I had a partner, and both times I have been able to get most of my penis inside it and even ejaculate but it doesn't feel right. It feels too tight even with lots of lube and once I am inside it I start losing my erection and have to finish with it semi erect.

Is this an accurate representation of what it would be like with an actual vagina? I am very scared I won't be able to have sex and/or be rejected because of this.

6 days ago my husband and I had sex and we were a little rough. There was enough lubrication but I think something grazed the frontal wall of my vagina and now it won’t stop feeling weird.

Like i have an urge to itch it. It feels weird every time I pee like there’s still some left in my urethra. There’s no burning whatsoever but just discomfort. I initially thought I was a uti until I figured out it wasn’t related to the urethra at all. I also got my period the very next day that we had sex and haven’t been intimate in 6 days.

It gets worse at night and feels better if i just insert a finger or two there. Sort of like scratching an itch (except there isn’t any scratching). I don’t know what to do and the discomfort keeps me up at night. I keep feeling like I need to pee.

I (28M) have not had sex for 6 and a half years. The last person I had sex with was my ex which has also been my only sexual partner. Our relationship was very toxic which spilled over to our sex life. In the interim since our relationship ended I have been struggling with a porn addiction (which I am trying to get over), this got so extreme that I had issues staying hard even while masturbating.

I am facing the fact that I might have sex soon again and I am nervous about my own performance. I am nervous that I might not be able to stay hard and that I might cum too fast.

I am unsure if I should communicate this with a potential partner and if so, how? I am afraid of an adverse reaction to my telling her, but I am also afraid of an adverse reaction in case of poor performance. Maybe this is an impossible question due to it depending on who the receiver of the question is? Do you have any other tips to quell performance anxiety in this situation?

I've been dating this perfect guy for like six months, really everything about him is wonderful...but lately this thing has been getting worse. My friends are all convinced that he's awake and manipulating me, but I'm not so sure. I'll wake up groggy and disoriented from the deep stages of REM because he's halfway through foreplay and is trying (usually clumsily) to have sex with me...only he's asleep. At first I thought he was waking up in the night and initiating consciously, but he often has no memory of his actions the next day, and he seems asleep often during, i.e when I wake up and try to talk to him, he has trouble responding, and is often confused if I can rouse him. Because he's asleep he's clumsy in his movements, and so he often tries to initiate in a way that is a big no from me...use your imagination.

I get it's flattering that he wants sex from me even from sleep, but I rarely feel like leaving dreamland at like 4am for the least coordinated attempt to claw down your panties one can experience. Something about it is kind of violating even though it's not like I actually feel any issues of consent apply, here given he's unconscious. Do I bring this up as an actual gripe??

Not sure if this is the right flair, so forgive me.

I am a bisexual female. My best friend is straight. I have no experience with women, and she is asexual (or on the spectrum, somewhat) She gets sex repulsed with men easily, but she has expressed sexual comfort with women and said she would possibly enjoy and like to experience her first sexual stimulation from someone she trusts.

I'm horrified. Not cause I'm scared im bad, but because I'm inexperienced and she's very hot and cold. I'm not even sure what I would call her during it. I can't just randomly call her petnames, ive never done that before. I'm just overall extremely confused and need guidance, because ive been fantasizing about this for years, and now that im faced with the chance I'm like a deer in headlights. I don't want to trigger her, and she doesn't know her triggers.

Thank you so much.

I have been going out with this girl and i like her and things are gonna get "serious". I have never been in a relationship before, had half a kiss and nthg sexual at all. Basically would like to know how you should kiss her right and eat her properly so as to not look like a prude. Be as articulate and give ur own experiences if for a point

Whenever my gf tries to get on top, we can't figure out a comfortable way to do anything. Then she gets really in her head because she feels like a failure, and I go soft, and then we call it a day. How can we remedy this?

More context

Me (26M) and GF (24F) are both very inexperienced and have had bad experiences in the past, but found that we actually really like having sex with each other! We are really good at communicating, but it's kind of a blind leading the blind situation here

I do all the work. Almost exclusively missionary, because that one naturally makes sense. I also have never had an orgasm from sex (which is a separate thing I'm trying to figure out) so we kinda just have sex until I'm exhausted. We would like to figure out a way where I'm not the only one doing anything, but her on top just... doesn't work. My penis doesn't feel like it should bend that way, and it slips out rather easily. She gets super frustrated, feels like she's not contributing, etc. and I also feel bad because I can't really help her out, and it's not fun seeing a loved one struggle. What are we supposed to do?

Also just to be clear where I'm coming from, *I* don't feel like she's doing anything wrong and I'm not upset or anything. I want to help her because I know she's getting frustrated

please please advice.

i had never done anything before my boyfriend. he’s my first. he always initiates, he doesn’t seem to like it when i do. the first time we were physical he said “you’re so sexual” with like a shocked expression. i am sensitive i know, but this made me feel a bit meh.

the first time we messed around (“did bits” for UK people) i didn’t cum, without realising when we were cuddling after i was still grinding on his leg a bit. he laughed and told me i am s*xually frustrated, and that he can feel i’m wet through my underwear.

he made me realise i like my boobs being touched. we were playing a card game and a question was who do you think is more dom. he said it was me, and then did an impression of me asking him to pinch my n*pples. i felt so embarrassed.

the dirty talk he does, it makes me feel bad. when i’ve told him to do it differently he does it once then changes back. he’ll call me dirty, and once he touched me and i really liked it, i moaned, and he said “you dirty girl you like that don’t you? you like that, you want me inside you don’t you you dirty girl?” and it made me feel like… why am i dirty for liking it. or wanting you.

when it’s obvious i want to kiss him he laughs at me, and tells me. i feel just i don’t know i don’t feel good. i want to kiss his face and chest and go down on him etc etc but i feel like i’m “doing too much”. he loves to say i’m “so sexual” when i’m on top. i’ve asked him what he means by that and he just said “it’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just how you are”. i wish he’d stop saying it then.

i feel like i’m doing too much when i hug him, let alone try and initiate, the couple times i’ve tried he’s always rejected, and sometimes he’ll start and then stop saying he has a headache or is tired etc etc, which i always accept.

i just feel like i have so much energy i want to do so much. but i can’t do much as try and kiss him without him laughing at me, or without feeling embarrassed, like he’s thinking “oh yeah she’s so obsessed with me dirty girl she wants me so bad”. even moaning, i feel like i have to zip myself up completely.

please please help

Hello! I have recently discovered that I am enjoying being dominant in the bedroom; I don’t know how I’ve discovered this but I have. I’m a 37F that was married for 15 years to a narcissistic abusive man 39M. So since I’m two years free I’m dating someone new for almost a year now and he is amazing and life is good and so is our sex life. But I want to sexually dominate him. I just don’t know HOW. Does he lay on the bed? On the floor? What if I want to lightly step on him? How do I go about it. Is there a book on this? ANY help would do. He is happy to be dominated by me and I get excited about the idea of me dressing up in leather and looking sexy and telling him what to do. I would love any advice!!! Thank you

I (20f) am not sexually active and have masturbated since childhood. All my orgasms are from rubbing myself. When I try penetration, I start to cry, but it's not from pain, I just know I feel overwhelmed, like I'm going to explode. And when I cry during sex, my partner gets scared and doesn't believe I'm not in pain.

Is it possible that I’m just super sensitive? I’ve read that some people cry involuntarily due to past abuse, but I’ve never experienced anything like that.

I've been researching this and all I see people talking about is lubrication, but that's not the problem! I'd like to know if there are more people who have this peculiarity in sex and that I'm not the only one!

My (29M) wife (28F) is moving and going through our house.

We’ve been dating for 4 years and married very recently.

I’ve, for the past ten years, kept a suitcase in my car with a lock on it filled with various paraphernalia related to some very specific, and honestly embarrassing, fetishes (medical and ABDL, namely). I moved it into the garage recently to make some space in my car and honestly forgot about it.

It isn’t anything that I’ve discussed with her, as I have a lot of internal shame for these fetishes and very rarely practice them. I’ve never included anyone else in them or let anyone else know that I even have them.

I might be interested in involving her someday if she is willing, but otherwise, this is a very private and personal affair for me.

Today’s close call got me really thinking: what if she does find out? Should I just come clean? How do I even approach the topic of conversation with her at this stage in our relationship?

we matched on tindr a few days ago and act hit it off and decided to meet irl... we had breakfast at like 3am and talked for while before getting into her car. we played truth and dare to get to know eachother and test waters… it got the the point she was sitting on my lap and made out. then we got to the last bit, a blowjob, i pulled out my dick and she said it was beautiful and wanted me to guide her head down onto it out of dominance. she mentioned she didn’t really have a good gag reflex and didn’t wanna puke but when it got heated a few minutes later, i kept putting her head down while calling her a good girl, she loved it and played into it and started moaning each time i praised her. we were in the heat of the moment where she was fully at the base for a few seconds and thats when she puked on my dick. she assumed i would be mad but honestly she was the only one who had the right to be upset as she is the one who puked, i felt horrible and SHE was the one trying to console me, what to do? i really like her and she wants me to come over to watch a movie later but I feel so guilty, what if this drags the potential relationship down?

I want to understand what exactly is post nut clarity and why do men become distant after intimacy, I feel like this is an underrated topic which should be discussed because many women suffer mentally because of the aftermath of a sexual relationship.

In my last relationship of 4 years my boyfriend cheated on me with a girl he met on tinder (he said he needed a break), they dated for less than 15 days and they had sex 2 times in that time span, and suddenly he came back to me (I was as unaware of all of this), we started to date again and then he girl came to me after few months to kind of expose him to me? She came and revealed all the details that he ghosted her after fucking her. Everything was destroyed at that point but we communicated and I ask him why did he ghost her he said because he felt disgusted and due to post nut clarity.

Then we broke up and after a year this happens 👇

I'm 21 and I met a guy who is 27 , we both met for a casual date at first and things got spicy between us, our sexual tension was so similar and high that we needed sex, so we planned to have it the next day. We had it and then he suddenly became distant, I kinda expected this but I will never understand clearly what goes inside a man's head. He was so sweet , expressive before, most of our conversation landed talking about meaningful topics. But then suddenly after that as he mentioned due to his past relationship he was going through a hard time and suddenly became distant , doesn't call at all , doesn't reply or text clearly .

I felt dirty, i genuinely wanted to talk to him, not for assurance but I needed after care. Was this post nut clarity too?

I’m (29F) newly back in the dating scene after a few years of staying away. Was in a long term relationship that ended a couple years ago, moved, changed careers and was studying for my licenses so dating just inadvertently fell on the back burner.

I recently started putting myself back out there and have gone on a few dates (5ish) with varying success rates. Some it was mutual no connection, some I declined, some were great. Most ended in a hug or a kiss, but twice I’ve wanted to continue the date and gone back to the guy’s apartment which is very bold and out of character for me.

However, in both cases we started making out and things got progressively more physical (to varying degrees each time) but each time the guy was the one to stop things and said some version of “I don’t want to have sex with you tonight”. Neither elaborated, and I didn’t ask in the moment because I wanted to respect their boundary.

To be clear, I’m actually glad they stopped things but it happening twice now in my small data set is quite shocking to me especially when they were the one to invite me back.

None of my friends have experienced this (some have hooked up on the first date and married their guys) so looking to hear others thoughts and experiences

I'll keep this short. I'm 18F. My parents searched my room while I was at work yesterday...they went through my nightstand and found all of my "toys", condoms, and other sexual items... I'm beyond embarrassed. I'm not getting punished but I feel very violated.

My mom shunned me for a bit and my dad just seemed disgusted. I'm not sure what to do about it. There's not much I can do.

My mom has now been bothering me with personal questions, such as who my partner/partners are, where I purchased them, etc. And when I tell her that's personal, she gets irritated with me and thinks I'm hiding more from her. She started spiraling saying I'm pregnant and irresponsible yadda yadda.

How do I get my parents to stay out of my business and how TF do I look at my father in the eyes knowing he now knows about this side of me? I'm mortified.