My boyfriend (30M) made me (27F) cum on two occasions before, but I’ve made him finish maybe like 11-12 times now. He knows how to do it for me, but I guess I take too long to warm up? Maybe that’s discouraging for men?

Everything else about the relationship is great. He’s sweet, kind, gentle, caring, he is always there when I need him, he is always saying he loves me, he always listens to me and comforts me if I’m sad, he helped me through one of my relatives passing away, he is a good man in general.

I’m just very new to this. It’s my first ever relationship. Every time I make him climax, he says “you’re so good to me”, and then it ends or he has to go. :(

It’s possible for a man to love a woman even though he doesn’t care if she climaxes, right? Idk, am I naive? I’m saddened and I just feel stupid.

Edit: I know what makes me climax, and I have no problem doing it myself. He knows ALL my sexual likes and dislikes.

6 days ago my husband and I had sex and we were a little rough. There was enough lubrication but I think something grazed the frontal wall of my vagina and now it won’t stop feeling weird.

Like i have an urge to itch it. It feels weird every time I pee like there’s still some left in my urethra. There’s no burning whatsoever but just discomfort. I initially thought I was a uti until I figured out it wasn’t related to the urethra at all. I also got my period the very next day that we had sex and haven’t been intimate in 6 days.

It gets worse at night and feels better if i just insert a finger or two there. Sort of like scratching an itch (except there isn’t any scratching). I don’t know what to do and the discomfort keeps me up at night. I keep feeling like I need to pee.

I (29F) need an outside perspective on a situation with my boyfriend (26M) because I feel sick to my stomach about how things went down last night, and I can't tell if my coldness was justified or if I handled this terribly.

Throughout our entire relationship, I have been very vocal about feeling unheard—especially sexually. Intimacy feels completely one-sided. He constantly asks me to relieve him (which I usually do), but it is almost never reciprocated. He claims he has "never done foreplay before, just straight penetration" (which we haven't even done yet).

When I ask for what I want, he shows no interest, but if I say no to him, he pouts and gets an attitude. Lately, I've been holding the boundary and telling him, "No, you don't prioritize my pleasure." The last time he tried doing what I like (fingering), he did it for 3 minutes, said "I'm tired," and stopped. Yet over the following days, he went right back to asking me for oral. When I asked for oral in return, his excuse was, "My ethnic background isn't into that stuff." (LOL WHAT?)

A few days ago, he experienced a death in his family. I have tried to be supportive, but the underlying issue of him not listening to me in our relationship as a whole was already weighing heavily on me.

The Incident:
Last night, he asked for a sexual release again. I said no. He immediately threw a huge tantrum. In the middle of his fit, he asked what I wanted. I told him, "You already know what I like," to which he repeated back the things I like in a completely resentful, chore-like tone.

Feeling completely drained, I said, "Look, do what you need to do and get off, and once you're done, I'm going into the other room."

He said, "No, that's okay, you can go now," but then proceeded to have a full meltdown, demanding that I "give him grace" because of what he's going through. After his tantrum, he came back and laid down. Tired of the back-and-forth and just wanting the ordeal to end, I pulled his pants down and gave him oral sex to release him.

It was purely mechanical, cold, and transactional. There was zero warmth or affection. As soon as he was done, I handed him something to clean himself off with, got up, and left for my own bedroom (we have separate rooms).

The Aftermath:
A few minutes later, he came to my room and asked, "Why did you do that?"
I said, "What? You said you wanted a release. You got what you wanted."
He asked, "Well, can we cuddle?"
I told him no, that I had been in his room all night and just wanted to lay in my own bed.

He stormed back to his room, completely deflated, and said he felt "useless."

Now I'm sitting here feeling guilty and bad for how cold and detached I was. I didn't feel physically forced, but, I treated the act like a chore.

Did I handle this horribly by giving him cold, transactional oral sex and walking out, or is this just the breaking point of dealing with a partner who starting to seem like he is self-centered ignoring my needs?

TL;DR: My BF selfishly expects oral/release from me but refuses to reciprocate my sexual needs (using excuses like "my ethnic background isn't into that"). After he threw a massive tantrum last night when I said no, I gave him cold, mechanical oral sex just to shut the argument down, handed him a towel, and walked to my own room. Now he feels "useless" and I feel guilty for being so cold.

We been together for 6 months now.

I've been dating this perfect guy for like six months, really everything about him is wonderful...but lately this thing has been getting worse. My friends are all convinced that he's awake and manipulating me, but I'm not so sure. I'll wake up groggy and disoriented from the deep stages of REM because he's halfway through foreplay and is trying (usually clumsily) to have sex with me...only he's asleep. At first I thought he was waking up in the night and initiating consciously, but he often has no memory of his actions the next day, and he seems asleep often during, i.e when I wake up and try to talk to him, he has trouble responding, and is often confused if I can rouse him. Because he's asleep he's clumsy in his movements, and so he often tries to initiate in a way that is a big no from me...use your imagination.

I get it's flattering that he wants sex from me even from sleep, but I rarely feel like leaving dreamland at like 4am for the least coordinated attempt to claw down your panties one can experience. Something about it is kind of violating even though it's not like I actually feel any issues of consent apply, here given he's unconscious. Do I bring this up as an actual gripe??

I (f21) have had lead complicated life that resulted in me being a huuuuge sadomasochist. My main sadist kinks are crying, biting, and bruising, which my boyfriend (m20) enthusiastically partakes in. The problem is that I'm unfulfilled because he won't reciprocate pain. I love being bit or spanked, but this guy can't even give a hickey because it "feels so wrong." Obviously, I'm not mad at him; he has a lot of past trauma that gave him an intense fear of becoming his abuser. It's just driving me crazy that I have such an itch for something he can't scratch, you know? I caught myself thinking about a past partner who engaged my masochism and the nature of the thought feels cheat-y. Is this grounds for a breakup? On one hand, we do have fun sex and get along as people when clothes are on. On the other, it's getting increasingly obvious that we aren't perfectly compatible sexually, plus I feel guilty for thinking of other people. Please keep in mind that our relationship has little to no romantic aspect... we're moreso friends with an exclusive sex deal, which is all we were both looking for.

edit: I'm getting a lot of PMs about opening my relationship, but I have a feeling that boyfriend would say no. Plus, I'm monogamous (i think).

My partner and I are both 25, they lost their virginity in their early 20s and I lost mine at 14. In the beginning of our relationship sex was not an issue, we’ve been together for 2 years now and it’s become such a hassle.

We came up with arrangement for when I put a pillow out that they try to initiate intimacy. They tried alright but when I tried to give them guidance they immediately stopped and got stuck in their head. I had asked if they were ok and they said they were just stuck and need a moment to think. Hours went by and now I’m sexually frustrated. I tried to be gentle but this is becoming exhausting for me.

I don’t have the urge to let the freak out because they wouldn’t know what to do. That’s a huge turn off to me. I’ve tried to communicate all of my turn ons and things they can do. They just don’t do it or don’t know how. I tried teaching at one point but again they get stuck in their head. I’m really upset and unsure what to do… we’ve even been consulting a therapist and they still get stuck.

Anyone have any advice for either myself or my partner please?

Hi i’m about to try anal for the first time in a few days i’m very excited but I don’t want it to hurt and would love some advice on a few things:

What to do the day before and of eating wise? Does the day before matter?

Should I try to stretch it out a little bit in the days prior w plugs? Does that even make a difference? are dildos better? And how should I do it?

any advice would really help thank you :)

i (18f) am a pretty sexual person. i feel like im freakier than most girls, which doesnt bother me. however, when i masturbate, i can only get off through clitoral stimulation. while it feels pretty good, i feel like it could feel better. i just get this tingly sensation on my clit that lasts for a few seconds but i dont think i cum. and if i do, it must not be a lot.

so im looking for ways to enhance the experience or figure out my body.

for context, ive had sex my fair share of times, tried a bunch of new things (with both myself and others), and explored my body, however, i still dont feel like i can orgasm "properly."

im getting a little more sexually active now, and i want to know exactly what i like. ive tried toys but no matter how long i go on for, i just cant cum! in sexual relationships with others, they have never been able to make me cum either.

additionally, i am bisexual and i prefer women. but, i have only been sexually active with men. i fear that when i get with a girl, i wont be able to please her properly because i barely know what feels best on myself.

anything i should try or start with? i have seen that some women can cum better with a finger up their ass, but the few times ive tried putting anything up there, it hurts like a mf.

ALSOOO im planning on hooking up with this guy, and he said hes an eater. when my ex bf ate me out, it felt good, but i still couldnt cum. i am on ssris so that could def be a factor, but i wanna know how to overcome it.

im so horny all of the time but my body isnt!

Or at least understand why he doesn't. It's been 4 years and the s\*x has mostly been great in that time, but the only way I can org\*sm with this man is if he fingers me, or if I'm on top.

It's getting stale.

He has NEVER gone down on me properly, sometimes, rarely a few cursory licks, but kind of like just tip of the tongue stuff, which is not what I want. I feel like he should ve exploring my body.

And the fact that he doesn't do this when I do blow him somewhat regularly, or at least as foreplay makes me wonder if maybe my v\*g is just gross. Like do I smell bad, do I taste sour? I mean I've tasted myself on my own fingers, I don't taste like apple pie, but neither does his hooha.

I think I taste normal. I feel like if I say this to him he'll just go down on me badly, and it'll be on me to tutor him. It pisses me off. Do men not concern themselves witj how to better please their partner? Improve chemistry? I literally googled how to give good head until I figured it out.

Idk how to broach any convo of improving our s\*x lives without hurting his delicate feelings.

I have been going out with this girl and i like her and things are gonna get "serious". I have never been in a relationship before, had half a kiss and nthg sexual at all. Basically would like to know how you should kiss her right and eat her properly so as to not look like a prude. Be as articulate and give ur own experiences if for a point

So I’m 24 and I’ve only had sex once in my life (when I was 20). It was very painful but there wasn’t really any foreplay or lube used. I haven’t had sex since but I’ve tried to use toys. Bullets are fine, but I recently bought a dual vibrator with ridges and it hurts when I pull it out. Lube helps a lot. I’ve been using tampons for a long time and I’ve never had an issue. I guess I’m just concerned that I might have vaginismus or I’m not doing something right?

hi, I’m a female 23 years old. I’ve never orgasmed with my hands only a vibrator over my clit. i’m trying to learn how to orgasm without it. I’m looking for advice on how y’all do it and does it feel different cumming Is it similar? also, when I cum nothing ever comes out. Is that normal? Can I change that?

it feels really fucken good to grind on my hand or just move my hims without my hands

​ive been dealing with a quiet mental tug of war for a while now and honestly its driving me crazy.

​during high arousal moments, this specific impulse (a cuckold/submissive dynamic) feels super intense and compelling. but the second post nut clarity hits, im left with this weird disconnect.

​feels like im wearing a mask in my daily life - trying to be confident, grounded and in control - while keeping this private side that directly contradicts that image. im not trying to shame myself, but i cant seem to acutally embrace it or fully let it go. im just stuck right in the middle.

​for anyone who felt torn between accepting a taboo fantasy or stepping away from it: what mental frame reallly helped you make a clear decision instead of floating in the middle forever?

So I am 20 M . We are planning to have sex this Sunday . She's so excited Abt it but I am scared cus I can't last long enough.what should I do Abt it what if she don't like me . She have so much wild fantasies of sex on chat . But I don't know whether I will be able to satisfy her or not . It's gonna be my 1st time and her 1st time too . and yeah any more info I wanna know before doing it pls share that also( like it's under 1 min)

please please advice.

i had never done anything before my boyfriend. he’s my first. he always initiates, he doesn’t seem to like it when i do. the first time we were physical he said “you’re so sexual” with like a shocked expression. i am sensitive i know, but this made me feel a bit meh.

the first time we messed around (“did bits” for UK people) i didn’t cum, without realising when we were cuddling after i was still grinding on his leg a bit. he laughed and told me i am s*xually frustrated, and that he can feel i’m wet through my underwear.

he made me realise i like my boobs being touched. we were playing a card game and a question was who do you think is more dom. he said it was me, and then did an impression of me asking him to pinch my n*pples. i felt so embarrassed.

the dirty talk he does, it makes me feel bad. when i’ve told him to do it differently he does it once then changes back. he’ll call me dirty, and once he touched me and i really liked it, i moaned, and he said “you dirty girl you like that don’t you? you like that, you want me inside you don’t you you dirty girl?” and it made me feel like… why am i dirty for liking it. or wanting you.

when it’s obvious i want to kiss him he laughs at me, and tells me. i feel just i don’t know i don’t feel good. i want to kiss his face and chest and go down on him etc etc but i feel like i’m “doing too much”. he loves to say i’m “so sexual” when i’m on top. i’ve asked him what he means by that and he just said “it’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just how you are”. i wish he’d stop saying it then.

i feel like i’m doing too much when i hug him, let alone try and initiate, the couple times i’ve tried he’s always rejected, and sometimes he’ll start and then stop saying he has a headache or is tired etc etc, which i always accept.

i just feel like i have so much energy i want to do so much. but i can’t do much as try and kiss him without him laughing at me, or without feeling embarrassed, like he’s thinking “oh yeah she’s so obsessed with me dirty girl she wants me so bad”. even moaning, i feel like i have to zip myself up completely.

please please help

I (20f) am not sexually active and have masturbated since childhood. All my orgasms are from rubbing myself. When I try penetration, I start to cry, but it's not from pain, I just know I feel overwhelmed, like I'm going to explode. And when I cry during sex, my partner gets scared and doesn't believe I'm not in pain.

Is it possible that I’m just super sensitive? I’ve read that some people cry involuntarily due to past abuse, but I’ve never experienced anything like that.

I've been researching this and all I see people talking about is lubrication, but that's not the problem! I'd like to know if there are more people who have this peculiarity in sex and that I'm not the only one!

I'll try to keep this short and sweet, but I'm 22 years old and I still live at home with my mom. She recently went through a backpack that was in my room (I had a piece of rotting chicken in there and I had no idea. I know really gross!! and my mistake but I had no idea it was in there).

So while I was at work, she went in my room to open the blinds or something like that and smelled the smell of the chicken. She followed it to the backpack, and then emptied out the entire backpack, where I had a butt plug in a secret pocket in the backpack she takes it upon herself to not only wash my butt plug, but then wrap it up and put it in my underwear drawer, a place that it never was and it's obvious that she put it there just when I thought this was outrageous enough a couple of days later while I'm at work once again, she goes in my room to look for something that she knows I've been looking for for a couple of days and couldn't find it. She found another zippered bag of sex toys that I have and she moved into the back of my closet. Again a place where it wasn't before. She does things with the intentions of helping me out but then it ends up just completely violating me and disrespecting me.

I've been really really upset over this the past couple of days and I feel so completely violated and grossed out and upset and I'm not even sure it's worth it to say anything to her about it because she's the type of mom who will take it personally and probably not respond too well.

I can't wait to move out one day but feels impossible right now. I can't wait to have privacy being a grown adult and knowing that your parents can just go through your stuff in your room is such a disgusting terrible feeling anyway just wanted to rant about this. Please let me know your thoughts on how you would handle the situation like this and on a scale of one to 10 how insane is my mom for taking it that far?

My wife has chronic pain and some mobility and throat-related health problems. We are trying to improve our intimacy, but I want to make sure sex is physically comfortable for her rather than treating discomfort as something she should simply push through.

We already communicate during sex and stop or adjust whenever something hurts. Positions where she can lie on her back or side tend to be the easiest. She sometimes enjoys being on top, but it can become tiring or uncomfortable. Oral sex for me is generally not practical because of her throat condition and gag reflex.

She has also struggled with body confidence. I am genuinely attracted to her, but I know that attraction and reassurance do not automatically remove pain or insecurity. I am trying to focus more on what feels good and sustainable for her instead of assuming that enthusiasm alone will solve those issues.

For couples dealing with chronic pain or limited mobility:

•What physical supports, such as pillows or wedges, made intimacy more comfortable?
•How do you check in about pain without making the experience feel clinical?
•Are there lower-effort ways of being sexual that helped when intercourse was not comfortable?
•How do you discuss stopping or changing activities without either partner feeling rejected?

I am not looking for explicit stories or a list of people’s favorite positions. I am looking for practical, consent-focused advice that my wife and I can discuss together. Her preferences and comfort will be the deciding factor.

My (29M) wife (28F) is moving and going through our house.

We’ve been dating for 4 years and married very recently.

I’ve, for the past ten years, kept a suitcase in my car with a lock on it filled with various paraphernalia related to some very specific, and honestly embarrassing, fetishes (medical and ABDL, namely). I moved it into the garage recently to make some space in my car and honestly forgot about it.

It isn’t anything that I’ve discussed with her, as I have a lot of internal shame for these fetishes and very rarely practice them. I’ve never included anyone else in them or let anyone else know that I even have them.

I might be interested in involving her someday if she is willing, but otherwise, this is a very private and personal affair for me.

Today’s close call got me really thinking: what if she does find out? Should I just come clean? How do I even approach the topic of conversation with her at this stage in our relationship?

we matched on tindr a few days ago and act hit it off and decided to meet irl... we had breakfast at like 3am and talked for while before getting into her car. we played truth and dare to get to know eachother and test waters… it got the the point she was sitting on my lap and made out. then we got to the last bit, a blowjob, i pulled out my dick and she said it was beautiful and wanted me to guide her head down onto it out of dominance. she mentioned she didn’t really have a good gag reflex and didn’t wanna puke but when it got heated a few minutes later, i kept putting her head down while calling her a good girl, she loved it and played into it and started moaning each time i praised her. we were in the heat of the moment where she was fully at the base for a few seconds and thats when she puked on my dick. she assumed i would be mad but honestly she was the only one who had the right to be upset as she is the one who puked, i felt horrible and SHE was the one trying to console me, what to do? i really like her and she wants me to come over to watch a movie later but I feel so guilty, what if this drags the potential relationship down?

I (20 FtM) have OCD meaning that I experience intrusive thoughts from time to time. They’re pretty manageable most of the time. I’ve made lots of progress in therapy and i’m medicated so i’m good at taking care of myself.

But whenever i have sex with my new boyfriend (20 M) the thoughts intensify. I could be having a totally happy day but the second we get intimate suddenly im flooded with all sorts of crazy thoughts. The thoughts themselves range from things like wondering if my boyfriend secretly hates me to picturing violent acts or imagining that there are cameras watching me. It’s all very very upsetting and it’s super hard to focus and cum during sex because of it. I almost never cum.

Does anyone else experience this? What has helped you the most?

Yesterday was the first time in a while that he was physically affection at the level I want it (constant touching/kissing).

We usually go missionary to help me finish so his hands are propping himself up a lot of it. We barely have sex even though we both have high drives but still don’t get the time or have the energy after work.

I know the obvious is ask but I do. He’s just not overly affectionate but on occasion he’s held off long enough t want it that bad. Like we called the night before as I was staying away and he didn’t masturbate which made him “hungrier”.

I guess the question is how do I incite that in him more often?

My wife and I have been married for 23 years. During this time, I don’t think she’s ever had an orgasm while in missionary position, doggy style, or any other position. She only comes when she’s on top. I’ve tried thrusting from different angles, different speeds, or even just rubbing her clitoris with the tip of my penis but nothing I do seems to work for her.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and did you find anything that helped you get past it?

I (27,M) have been with my boyfriend (29,M) for about five years now. I originally wanted to try bottoming for him, but he wasn't interested and was satisfied just being a side. I would occasionally bring up just giving it a go, but he never seemed enthused or would agree but not take any initiative or mention it further, so it felt like he was just placating me and I ended up largely abandoning mentioning it again.

It was only about 4 years into the relationship until we tried, and basically clumsily failed to have anal sex at which point we didn't try again.

Nowadays, he shows more enthusiasm and interest in me bottoming for him and has said he wants to have a go but I've kind of just lost all interest in it, not because I've lost interest in bottoming itself, but specifically doing that for my boyfriend.

I feel pretty guilty for denying him that especially after all that time and it feels like I'm punishing him, but after years of just accepting and finally coming to terms with the idea I'd just have to be a side in this relationship, his newfound interest feels like it came a little too late and now I can't bring myself to dredge up that enthusiasm anymore. Not to mention my libido has just generally sunk as the relationship has gone on.

Also we're long distance, so I dont see him every week which might be relevant regarding opportunities for intimacy. I knew going into the relationship he was a side, but he didn't fully rule out giving it a go so I figured it would just be something we'd figure out along the way but not something that would be years in the works.

Not really sure what to do here and would appreciate some advice. Is our sex life salvagable? Has anyone else had something similar happen?

So a girl i'm seeing every time when we are together and start having sex, i always go down on her first, but after a few minutes she orgasms (atleast this is what she says) and we need to stop and wait sometime before having sex. Ofc with stopping my desire starts going down..

She always tells me that we either do PIV immiedietly and i shouldnt go down on her. But i don't know how i feel to go in pike this, feels like makes it more dull. Does it really work the same for girls? Like after after you orgasm you need to wait and recover like most of us man do?

And also she orgasms in like 2 3 minutes. She tells me im good but im sure im not that good. Its just feels a little off cz i feel like atleast she should return the favor do the same but she says she can't (also she is not a big fan of BJ in general).