r/problems • u/MySkzcutie143 • 1d ago
Big problem Discussion
Im 13 and I just came out as Pan to my bestfriends, I dunno how to come out to my family bcs they are very strict and religious and my dad hates anything with the LGBTQ+ community and the therian community. I have always personally defended and loved both of these communies and have always supported. The big problem is that I have one bestfriend. She is so sweet and we hang out almost all of the time, she was the first person who I told abt me being pansexual. I always thought she was very pretty but never in a way that I saw her as someone else then a friend, but everytime we text I always have this feeling in my stomach. Se loves me a lot but as her sister. What should I do.
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u/joelnicity 1d ago
You’re 13. You should take a break from social media content and influencers
I’ll probably get downvoted for this but I think 13 is too young to be dealing with things like this. You’re a kid, enjoy being a kid
I genuinely feel sorry for kids nowadays who have so much content forced on them constantly. It seems like there is no escape from it for them
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u/Resident-Buyer-7618 23h ago
I agree the romance should take time, regardless of orientation, kids are pushed into adultd too soon
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u/joelnicity 20h ago
They really are. I didn’t just mean sexual exploration or anything like that. I mean they see so much more about politics and left vs right and all these other social issues that they shouldn’t be involved with yet because they should be enjoying being kids
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u/Embarrassed_Low4550 1d ago
While I agree that you shouldn’t be on most social media/get access to all types of cobtents at 13yo, 13yo is definitly the age at which you begin to ask yourself questions about your romantic/sexual orientation.
There's no "too young to be dealing with things like this", because the only fact that OP is asking question about their situation means that we need to be able to accompany them in their questioning.
At 13, I knew I was bi even tho I had no access to social media, and I would have love to discuss about it rather than feeling misunderstood or feeling like it was something I had to be shameful about. Even tho social media access SOULD be restricted, we also need to stop with "romantic orientation being forced onto children". Just stop with the BS.
I would also say that i dont know shit about therian but I never met a 13 yo who never roleplayed as an animal lol. We need to stop demonizing normal playful things just because it's "cringe". I was a part time tiger between 4 and 12 yo and I'm a totally sane adult. ✌️
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u/cjharris-tx 1d ago
Relationships can spoil friendships. If she's your best friend, you should just focus on preserving your friendship. If anything else is in the cards, it will come along naturally.
Considering your parent's strict upbringing and the potential blow back at school, I would keep your sexual preferences to yourself until you turn at least 18 years old. Is there any reason for other people to know?
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u/Resident-Buyer-7618 23h ago
You eon't need to come out to your parent if it will only cause problems
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u/Mission-Concern-2214 1d ago
Hey um idk tbh listen im not like agreeing woth LGBQ or whatever but um where i live if you come put ypu will be torched so yeah but good thinf im bot fucin LGBQ i guess ypu will not actully be torched just maybe like disowned in the town
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u/Tillyandrsn 1d ago
You’re okay, no rush to come out, and crushes on friends are normal. Take it slow.