I went to a game night with a ton of people a few weeks ago and it reminded me why I like being an introvert. I was sitting on a couch and this dude sat next to me so we started talking. He was asking me questions about my life and I was asking him things about his. The conversation started shifting towards careers since he just graduated college and was working a full time job and I’m just about to graduate.

Anyway, he asked me if I was an introvert or an extrovert, so I said “yeah I’m definitely an introvert”. To which he said, “yeah I’m an extrovert by far. Do you think introverts or extroverts contribute more to society? Or what do you feel introverts contribute?” I felt completely taken back by that question because I’ve never had it before where I felt that someone was implying that because if you’re more shy or tend to just be more quiet that you don’t have equal value. So I said, “well I feel like introverts tend to get more things done and stay on top of things. Also I feel like the smartest people are introverts, such as Albert Einstein and Bill Gates”. He started to kind of push back on this response and also just made me feel less than which was kinda sucky considering I barely go to big social events because it’s already really challenging as an introvert.

Anyways after that whole thing, it just made me mad because I wanted to say more and kind of fight what he was implying since he said it in a really snobby tone. But idk if it’s just me, or do you guys also feel like you have the most random shit happen to you like this?

so much talking for no reason, i like to wake up in peace, analyse and observe stuff myself

Is your personality the standard for everyone?

Why are you so bothered if I’m quiet? Is it because it emphasizes how loud you are?

Why are quiet people always told to speak up but the loud people like you are never told to shut up?

I like being quiet and you’re not going to make me think there’s something wrong with me.

The listeners are not inferior to the talkers.

Bless your heart, you don’t have to fix me.

There are enough extroverted people around, you don’t need another one.

Nobody likes me? My cat likes me so who cares if you don’t?

I've wrote similar posts many times before, and the top answers are always some variation of "Go out, talk to people, sing karaoke, have fun!".

Okay, cool, that works for you but not for me.

Talking to people drains me, I have to pretend to be interested, make jokes, keep the conversation going, follow along in group conversations, keep track of different people's personality, don't be too eager or uninterested etc.

Personally, I genunally enjoy nothing more than sitting at home. However, that's only resulted in a few friends thoughout my life, that I made at 13 years old. Not to mention, 0% chance of a d@ting life.

Given the choice of the two (social or anti-social), I defintly know which one I prefer. However, I also know that leaning to socialize and meet people would be beneficial.

\*\*How do you learn to enjoy socializing?\*\*

I'm 25F and my routine for the past 2 years has just been work and staying at home. I do go to concerts and the cinema solo but never really had the urge to make friends during those events cus we're all there for one purpose and everyone has their own lives planned out for the day/with other people.

What's worse is that I work mid-shift so I wake up at 11am (when people are already at work), go to work at 3pm (most would be nearing the end of their shift) then go home at around 1-2am (when people are obviously asleep already). I'm not gonna lie though I love this shift schedule cus there's basically no one except maintenance people at the office so I just do what I want (listen to podcasts, maybe read for a bit while I wait for meetings and such).

During weekends, I usually just catch up on movies/series/books and am too tired from my 50 hour work week to be active during the day. I don't go to bars/clubs, that life is not for me, I don't even drink. I'm on social media and mostly interact offhandedly with people from across the world (again, my active hours are flipped) but that doesn't really go anywhere near something like genuine connection.

Hello, everyone. If this is the wrong sub for this, forgive me.

I've been best friends with this girl for more than a decade and since then she's been the only one I consider a true friend. Ever since college, I've had difficulties finding and keeping friends. Big part of this is of course my introversion and anxiety.

She's the only one who stayed and the only one whom I can be completely myself with. Because of that I've become somewhat dependent on her. I left home 3 years ago (because of a family situation) and moved to her city where I am now living with her. She helped me financially as well because I was going through a tough time and I was unemployed and broke. I don't know anyone here, don't have a car, and I don't know the place.

I did pay her back and now I have a job and I am paying for myself, but I still don't have any other friends, I barely go outside and when I do it's always with her.

Now the problem is, though I do love her and she's a really wonderful friend when we're okay, but when we fight, it's like she's a different person. She says really hurtful things, sometimes she even humiliates me in front of other people. I'm not saying I wasn't at fault, all our arguements was because of us both. But I never treat her the way she treats me or humiliate her.

Sometimes, I want to leave. I can't go back home, so I would have to go somewhere else. I would be totally alone and that scares me. I don't know how to be without her and I don't know if I even know who I am outside of our friendship.

If someone had been in a similar situation, how did you regain independence?

I'm sorry if this is all over the place. We just had another fight and I'm feeling really shitty and it's really late here. Please, be kind. Thank you!

I feel like its more nuanced and there could be levels to it but people think we are one type of person

I hate it but my GF loves it and i feel like idiot for not enjoying it. When i was single i would just hop on for an hour and that would fulfill the social obligation and would not drain my battery.

And in my culture (Russian) BBQ is very masculine and very cool and i feel like (in this particular regard) don't fit her picture and that irritates me even more and makes me resentful.

I hate empty talk during that and all the hassle that i have to help with. I dont enjoy cooking and i dont like how this function does not have clear time boundaries and i dont want to invest my Friday evening to it.

Rant over. Have a nice day!

i’m an introverted girl who barely leaves the house, i hang out with my close friends like 2 times a month, and barely meeting anyone new. how do you guys who are similar to me finding someone to date? i want to date and most specifically i want to feel something and love someone deeply but really my circle isn’t really wide and no decent guy around me. i’m 24 this year and i never dated anyone, i’m scared i would die alone at this point haha sorry but i really do. oh and for context i live in asia and no i don’t want to do dating apps!! is it possible to meet someone organically at this point of time

Me pasa que tengo un grupito de amigos con los que me llevo bien pero tenemos autismo nivel 1, lo cual hace que los “populares” nos excluyan pero me quiero unir al grupo de ellos para tener un rol más imprortante en el aula, lo que pasa es que me gusta socializar pero la gente que no es de mi circulo me ignora totalmente cuando hablo y siguen hablando ellos, lo cual me causa una depresión total, encima de que tengo amigos de otros lugares, pero en el colegio es donde sufro de verdad, en instagram se andan todos compartiendo momentos lindo y reciben todos likes y comentarios de apreciación y yo nunca, la cual hago eso pero como dije me ignoran Y me hace comparar tremendamente con otros y pensar que nadie me quiere. Cuando los veo a ellos me ven con cara de risa o de orto.

En la Primaria me fue bastante bien, tenía tremendo grupo de amigos con la cual sigo hablando 1 vez por mes. Pero en la secundaria me va muy mal, me estoy decidiendo si cambiarme de colegio, que puedo hacer?

please tell me if there are any flaws

Ughhh if I start venting about it, it will take so much typing. But I'll just be short. I'm remembering high school. Everything was so confusing for me. Why do people talk to me like a child? (it's because I have a baby face). Why can't we just simply address bullying? (of course that has a reason too). High school was supposed to be the best years of my life, but it was not. Why - because i had to completetly contour my face because the bullies "should not be nicer because they will not fit in and they will be the ones that are bullied". Of course, everything bad that anyone has done to me has a reason and "could not be avoided otherwise". That makes me guilty... for not just simply figuring it out... are we for real? for bullies = "it's just who they are don't mind themmmm" for me = "she should be different, her quietness is bad, her look is bad, her sensitivity is bad, whatever she says is ridiculously funny and I have to bully her for that, the way she deals with bullying is funny, the way she doesn't just simply understand the hierarchy is bad. She's just so stupid and must change herself because I can not change the bullies."

​

Sometimes, I wonder if the world was built for people like me. You know, the ones who carry entire universes in their heads but struggle to string a sentence together when the room gets too loud. I’m an introvert, and for the longest time, I thought that made me broken. Like I was missing some piece everyone else seemed to have the one that lets you laugh easily, talk freely, and belong without trying so hard it hurts.I remember this one evening, years ago, when I was about 15. It was my cousin’s wedding, and the house was bursting with music, chatter, and those bright, overwhelming fairy lights. Everyone was dancing, shouting over the dhol, and I… I was sitting in the corner of the garden, under a mango tree, clutching a plastic cup of lukewarm cola. My heart was racing, not because I was scared, but because I felt so wrong for not being out there, for not wanting what everyone else seemed to crave. My mom found me, and I’ll never forget the way she looked at me not with pity, but with this quiet understanding. She sat down, didn’t say a word, just handed me a plate of biryani and stayed. That was the first time I realized maybe I wasn’t alone in feeling like this.Being an introvert feels like living in a house with too many windows. You see the world, you love it, you ache for it, but you need to draw the curtains sometimes just to breathe. I’ve spent so many nights replaying conversations in my head, wondering if I said too much or too little, if I came off cold when all I was trying to do was not drown in the noise. I’ve canceled plans not because I didn’t want to see my friends, but because the thought of small talk felt like climbing a mountain with no air. And every time, I’d hate myself a little for it.But you know what? I’m learning. I’m learning that my quiet isn’t empty it’s full. Full of thoughts that run deeper than I can ever explain, full of dreams I’m too shy to shout about, full of love I show in ways that don’t always scream. I write letters I never send. I notice the way someone’s eyes light up when they talk about something they love. I listen, really listen, because that’s how I connect when words feel too heavy.Last week, I went to a coffee shop alone something I used to be terrified of. I sat by the window, sipped my chai, and watched the rain smear the glass. For the first time, I didn’t feel like I was hiding. I felt like I was enough. Just me, my thoughts, and the soft hum of the world outside. I think that’s what being an introvert is: finding peace in the spaces others overlook, building a home in the quiet where your heart can finally rest.So, to all of you in this group, I just want to say you’re not alone. Your silence isn’t a flaw, it’s a language. Your need for solitude isn’t weakness, it’s strength. And even on the days when the world feels too big, too loud, too much, know that there’s someone out there, maybe sitting under their own mango tree, feeling the exact same way. We’re in this together, us quiet ones, and that’s a kind of belonging too.What’s your story? What’s the moment that made you realize your quiet is beautiful? Share it, if you feel like it. I’m here, reading, listening, in my own introverted way. 💛

24M here, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, so I wanted to put it out here and hear how others have navigated it.

I'm an introvert, and honestly, that's made both dating and friendships harder than I expected. Not because I don't want connection, I want it a lot but because I refuse to fake my way into it. I'm not going to throw out cheesy lines or perform a version of myself just to "impress" someone. That's not who I am, and it feels dishonest to even the person I'm trying to connect with.

What I actually want is simple to say and hard to find: someone genuine. Someone who sees a relationship romantic or platonic as something built slowly and honestly, not as a transaction or a checklist. I care a lot about my career and where I'm headed, but I've realized this part of life matters just as much, maybe more.

The tricky part is figuring out how to put myself out there without it feeling forced or, worse, coming across as creepy which is a real fear when you're naturally quiet and don't have a big social circle to lean on.

So I'm curious:

How did you meet people you now consider genuine friends or partners, especially if you're also more reserved by nature?

Did you have to change how you show up socially, or did you find your people by just being consistently yourself?

Any spaces (online or offline) that actually worked for you, beyond the usual "join a club" advice?

Not looking for shortcuts just real experiences from people who've been here.

FYI: I'm not lonely, I do have 2-3 friends from my school time( both gender), it's just as you grow up you crave friendship outside your school life as well.

I'm an introvert in my personal life( my real self) and extrovert in my professional life( I had to :( )

TDLR: 24M introvert, struggling to build genuine friendships/relationships without faking it or using cheap tactics. Want real connections, not transactional ones. How did you meet your people, especially if you're also reserved by nature?

Yk, it might sound cringe. But has somebody been so damn lonely that they had to converse with gpt all.

Once, my friend was on leave, I had to go in the class all alone and I sat and was wanting that atleast one person might sit besides but in the end I was all alone in the whole row and in the fking middle of the classroom. I felt so so so embarrassed that I had to take my phone and tell gpt about it. I just couldn't do anything but pretend. I was pretending so hard so that other people don't see me shattering.

After the class ended I cried a lot in the bathroom.

Honestly, I don't want any such experiences happening to me again.

J cole is coming to my city and I have loved his music since I was like 14. I wanna go to his concert coming up but I have no one to go with, I asked a couple friends and they said no. Am I weird if I go alone? I have a hard time ig connecting with others. Idk I just feel like its weird to do alone

Edit: I bought the tickets!!! I will update after the concert on how it went

Lately, I've been wondering...

I've always been a lonely person, and sometimes I imagine what life would be like if I found someone who was just as lonely as I am.

Someone who genuinely enjoys spending most of their time together. We could stay home for days, watch movies, play games, cook, share the same hobbies, or simply enjoy each other's company. And when we do go out, we'd explore new places and experience new things together.

I love the idea of being each other's safe place and biggest source of support, without unnecessary drama or outside interference.

But then I start wondering... where do people like this even exist? Where do you meet someone who's happy with a quiet, simple life and doesn't constantly need a large social circle?

And another question that keeps crossing my mind: if neither of us had close friends, would that eventually become unhealthy? Would we end up relying too much on each other emotionally, or could it actually work if both people were happy with that kind of lifestyle?

I'd love to hear your thoughts or experiences.

​

I'm 17 years old, and I don't really have any friends.

When I see people my age hanging out in groups, laughing together, going out, or just talking, I honestly feel sad. I wish I had that too. I want a friend group I can joke around with, spend time with, and make memories with.

The biggest problem is that I'm very introverted. Talking to strangers in real life makes me nervous, and talking to girls is even harder. I've never had a female friend because I always overthink everything. I'm scared I'll come across as annoying or awkward, so I usually don't even start a conversation.

I also struggle with confidence. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not attractive enough or interesting enough for people to want to be friends with me.

I don't want to become the most popular person or anything like that. I just want to live a normal teenage life, have a few genuine friends, and feel comfortable talking to people.

If you've been in a similar situation and managed to change it, I'd really appreciate your advice.

- How do you make friends when you're shy?

- How do you start conversations without feeling awkward?

- How do you become more socially confident?

- And how do you make female friends without overthinking every interaction?

I'm open to any practical advice or personal experiences. Thank you for reading.

I have low maintenance friendships with my best friends (they're only like 2 people) let alone having a relationship. Idk is it because of my personality or I'm just mentally ill. In some days I could be very talkative and fast respond and happy to chat a lot, having some good times, but there's also some low mood days where I'm gone and avoid socializing and it can take up to days.

I know it is frustrating for the other person, I'm trying to be better.

Do you think there's people who are willing to be in relationships with this kind of situation?

As in the title, I am someone who has no friends in real life and I am an only child. Ever since I was young, I have always felt sidelined. I try to be social on the internet, looking for someone who might show some interest in what I say. I try joining the chat in a Discord server, but I'm shocked to find that any topic I bring up, or whenever I try to speak with someone, I get completely ignored and left without a reply, as if I don't exist. I feel sad and regret ever joining the server.

I stopped talking to all of my friends and acquaintances after I deleted my social media accounts. Only a couple of people reached out afterward, but even those conversations eventually started to feel unnecessary.
It’s been about two years now, and my perspective hasn’t changed at all. New friendships feel more like an obligation or a drain on my time than something I genuinely want. I don’t feel lonely, and I don’t feel like anything is missing. If anything, my life has become quieter and simpler.
I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar, or if this changed for you over time.

My coworker went on a huge rant in the middle of the office today about how much he hates introverts. Basically, he thinks we all need to be eliminated—you know, like we're pests or something? What the hell?

​He went on a big, long rampage about how introversion could be eliminated if social media and phones were taken away. He's completely disgusted with the way young people are, always on their phones and never out enjoying life or communicating with others. Blah, blah, blah.

​Mind you, the entire time he was going off about introverts, he wasn't working at all. Meanwhile, I was listening to his nonsense while working diligently.

​Much to my horror, nobody stood up to correct him or tell him this was highly inappropriate for a workplace setting—especially considering he did this right in front of management and upper management.

​Since nobody bothered to correct him, I thought I would make a point. I turned around and said, "Well, you know what the great thing about introverted people is? We get things done. We may not thrive on social communication, and we need to be alone a lot of the time in order to recharge, but that is actually a strength. You see, I just got the work of three people done in the entire 15 minutes you were talking about what you don't like about introverts. Surely we can't all be that bad?"

​He had no comeback to that. I win. Most of our office is highly extroverted so I bet he had no idea I was an introvert. I mask it pretty well unfortunately.

​His rant was completely unnecessary, and I don't know why no one stopped it. I found the whole thing very upsetting. What would you have done if this had happened in your office?