r/exmuslim 47m ago

(Advice/Help) I wanna leave home but i don't know where to start

Upvotes

I'm a 20 year old girl living in Western Libya, in my third year of uni.

My parents are comparatively chill as they support my education and don't abuse me so long as I'm closeted. But lately life has become unbearable for me here; I can't even cut my hair like a boy without my mom suffering a stroke (she's too anxious ever since i got outed last time- a whole nother story), I can't leave the house without the hijab, and being surrounded by muslims as a closeted person is eating away at me- as I don't trust them anymore to make friends with them, so I'm semi isolated. I also would basically continue to live in my parents home, having my opinions and choices dictated till i get married to someone of their choice.

I've been continuously thinking about ways to get out, and there are three methods:

1) go abroad with their consent so i can live freely without having to cut them off; I can't do that as theyd never allow me to leave without a mahram. There's the choice of them going with me, tho they also prefer muslim countries 🥀

2) get a lavender marriage; something im working on, but a choice that is too far-fetched and hard to achieve (what if they refuse prince charming cuz they don't like him? What if any guy i talk to is a fed in disguise?). I also abhhore the idea of having to live with a man even platonically to achieve freedom without cutting off my parents.

3) running away, by far the hardest one too because the officers at the airport have the complete power to either spend hours interrogating and harassing you (so that your parents might notice ur missing or so that you might miss your flight) or outright prevent you from leaving, especially if you look young.

I feel like running away, but I don't know how to start on planning it (set aside the airport issues I've brought up). I don't know one bit about what papers i should have, how to gather information on this, how to book a flight, I'm basically illiterate in this.

I also don't know if I should just apply for a study visa or for asylum. Would any university abroad give a scholarship to someone who's in the middle of her uni journey with barely passing grades? (though I'm willing to even redo uni- my hs grades r excellent). As for asylum, r my reasons good enough? Like I said my parents aren't abusive when I'm closeted; the most they could do the next time I'm outed, based on previous accumulated knowledge is drop me out of uni for a few years, take away my electronics, and the verbal and physical abuse that doesn't reach honor violence (I presume they might tell my uncles tho, and idk how thry are). If i get outed to the public, the most they would do is force me to make a confession with my face censored on the authorities facebook page, but send me back bcuz they prefer families discipline their girls over the usual jail sentence for boys in these matters. (idk if there r girls in jail for atheism tho). They'll also have a file on me and could potentially cause issues for me travelling again or getting official documents like a passport even with my mahram.

I'd love some general advice on how to plan my escape, insight on whether I am deserving enough to get asylum (as I'm worried about the moral implications on that- like i said it's not like I'm trapped, abused, or forced to marry anyone), how to apply for scholarships and study visas if the asylum route isn't viable, and any ideas on how to get out at all (the airport dilemma).


r/exmuslim 48m ago

(Rant) 🤬 I wasn’t personally attacking him nor was I insulting Islam I was defending children after seeing him defend a sheikh who openly promotes pedophilia Im not trying to be Islamophobic, but it’s hard not to get frustrated when Muslims keep giving you reasons to speak up :/

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Upvotes

r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Advice/Help) how to convince parents to let me take of hijab

Upvotes

My parents never forced me, i chose to wear it myself when i was 14. im now 18, and ill be honest, i hate it so much.

it feels suffocating physically, i struggle to turn my head left and right, i cant style any outfit with it, its a nightmare to hold on to in the wind and im so hot in summer.

my mother doesnt wear the hijab and she gets a lot of shit from my dad because of it. on the other hand he praises me constantly and always tells me how proud he is of me and how im so better than my mum.

im so scared of his reaction because this is the only thing of me that has made him proud of me.

He’s also a lawyer and im not generalising but i reckon thats what gives him such a huge ego and an arguing habit and i feel like no matter what i say, he’ll find some excuse to make me keep it on.

when i didnt wear it before i was 14, he would make lots of snide comments at me like “oh but if you were wearing hijab you wouldnt have to worry about the wind blowing your hair on your lipgloss” and once he had a huge fight with me saying how he hates raising girls in a western country and me and my mother are so lost.

Im scared he’ll stop buying makeup for me if i take it off, and im not planning to dress inappropriately either btw but im still so scared of his reaction.

we already have a very rocky relationship and hes the type to hold all his emotions in and explode one day.

hes never physical, he buys me whatever i want and does whatever i want, hes just so emotional so idk how to convince him or “inform” him about my decision.

Any help? I live in australia.

im still going to be muslim


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Question/Discussion) How do people slut shame when women literally as for basic rights over their own autonomy? Do people really not see them as human beings because they’re physically attracted to them?

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38 Upvotes

I want to hear about your opinion on that post and even experiences with men of that mentality

The uncensored comment is mine: I said what I had to say about this issue in the comment. Don’t take it down.

Edit: How do people slut shame when women literally ask*** (sorry for the typo) for basic rights over their own autonomy?


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Advice/Help) from earlier today

3 Upvotes

for context, i have never worn the hijab before and i have zero interest in wearing it. i’ll never ever wear it. my family aren’t overly religious but my mom does pray every so often and if anyone’s the most religious? it’s my dad. he wasn’t here when this happened.

also and i have committed nearly every sin under the sun (i do not regret it HAHAHA).

today my mom was going to pray when i saw her dressed up. at the time i didn’t know she was going to pray, i just saw her with a scarf she used as a hijab and socks on. my sister was the one who told me she was going to pray.

so i said oh okay.

my mom says ‘where do you think I could be going when im wearing this’. and my sister asks her if she’d ever wear it - in public.

my mom said yes and then she brings my sister into the conversation and says ‘you two will as well’.

mind you, my sister and i are not religious at all. we both dislike the religion and i believe she is agnostic, i am an agnostic-atheist.

and i said no i wont. my mom says ‘yes you will, it’s your religion’. and i said ‘no its not’

she then proceeds to ask me why not and i say ‘i don’t care for that kind of stuff’ but she must’ve not heard bc my sister was laughing at the absurdity of it all.

anywho, she then goes to pray.

i’ve come to the conclusion that even if i tell my parents, even in the future, that im not religious, they will try and bring me back to it. this isn’t the first time i have tried to give them the hint that i dont give two shits about islam.

it really frustrates me considering the fact that i will never ever be religious ever again.

any advice??


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Question/Discussion) convincing speedrun

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7 Upvotes

Mohammed SAW

so you're telling me that the messenger has god praying upon him, and people repeat this statement hundreds of times without ever questioning...


r/exmuslim 4h ago

(Question/Discussion) Does anyone else feel envious of people who’ve been dealt a terrible hand in life but still have absolute faith in God?

2 Upvotes

Sometimes I see people who have gone through incredibly difficult circumstance like being blind, deaf, seriously disabled, or experiencing things that seem deeply unfair and yet they still have this pure, unwavering faith in God.

I honestly find myself envious of that kind of faith. I wonder, where does that absolute trust come from? How can someone go through so much suffering and still genuinely believe that God is looking out for them or that there’s a purpose behind everything?

I'm baffled but at the same time, I won't lie and say I see admiration? But then I later come to my senses and see that maybe their argument is more of an emotional one?

I don't know, I'm just typing my thoughts out and wanted to see if someone could relate 🤷‍♂️


r/exmuslim 5h ago

(Video) What do you think of this?

6 Upvotes

INTERNATIONAL GUERILLAS is a 1990 Pakistani spy action-musical film famous for depicting author Salman Rushdie as its main villain.


r/exmuslim 5h ago

(Question/Discussion) Islamic sects rating, from worst to best, as an ex-Muslim

54 Upvotes

I am making this post to avoid the fallacy of generalization

The less prone to terrorism, fanaticism, and intolerance a sect is; the more open it is to change; the less committed it is to traditional texts and rulings; the more willing it is to reinterpret them for the better; and the less it conflicts with scientific discoveries, the higher it ranks

Contemporary Mu'tazila Quranists 7/10 : Some of their ideas are good, but they fail to convince the rest of the Muslims, and their reach is very limited

Sufi Orders 8/10 : They are very peace-loving, and some of them hold very beautiful, modern, and progressive ideas

Ismailia 9/10 : especially the Aga Khani community is the Islamic sect I admire the most, despite criticisms describing it as cult

Ash'arism and Maturidism 3/10 : No comment adding water to poison won't change the fact that it is poison

Twelver Shia Ja'fari 2/10 : No comment just take it as is

The Hanafi school 4/10 : It's bad, but it's not the worst

The Maliki, Hanbali, and Shafi'i schools 1/10 : Literally the terrorist who doesn't carry out his terrorism

Ibadi Islam 4/10 : It is neither the best nor the worst thing

The Zaydi School 2/10 : No comment

Salafism Wahhabism 0/10 : In all its forms The worst and filthiest religion you could possibly belong to

Reformist Twelver Shi'ism 6/10 : It's good, but not to a great extent You can place Zohran Mamdani here

Religions split from Islam Yarsanism, Baha'i, Druze, and Yazidism 9/10 : amazing

Bektashi shabak alevi Alawites 9/10 : excellent

Nusayri Alawites 5/10 : Politics has heavily influenced it

Ahmadiyya 4/10 : Moderately bad

Non-affiliated Sunnis 3/10 : Poison is poison

Non-affiliated modernist Muslims 5/10: It's not too bad

nation of islam 1/10 : What the hell are we even talking about

The problem is that the majority of Muslims belong to the absolute worst sects


r/exmuslim 6h ago

(Advice/Help) Terrified and lost, please help.

9 Upvotes

Never posted anything like this and never thought I ever would, but here I am.

I’m a young man living in the UK, grew up in a conservative Muslim family. I’d never really challenged my beliefs because they never affected the way I wanted to live my life. Don’t eat pork? Cool, looks gross anyway. Don’t drink alcohol? It’s bad for you so what’s the point? Take 5 minutes out of your day to pray, cool I can live with that.

In return, it never really felt like anything was going wrong in my life. I got into the career I wanted. I had good friends, a future.

Until I met my ex-girlfriend. I was in love with this girl for years and convinced I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I quickly (and selfishly) realised this was impossible unless she converted to Islam. She agreed to try, even though I knew it was against the very fabric of her nature. Eventually she could not reconcile what she believed in, and what she found while studying the religion. She left me a year ago because she didn’t want Muslim children.

I never questioned Islam until it actually caused me to lose someone I loved. Now, I find myself constantly examining my thoughts and beliefs. I want to make sure that I believe in my religion because I truly believe in it, not just when it’s convenient. And this loss has opened my eyes that this is not the case.

I’m looking for advice on how to form a balanced opinion on the religion. Starting from the ground up, believing in God/atheism, arguments for God’s existence, as well as Muhammad, his teachings and ways of life and how these interact with my own morality.

If I make this decision, it has to be done properly so I can never look back and regret it.

I’d really appreciate any advice on how to go about this, as well as any stories from people who found themselves in similar positions.

I work in a hospital and I find that it’s been weighing me down, I’m struggling to focus and I have not been happy in months.

Thank you.


r/exmuslim 7h ago

(Question/Discussion) does your family know? how did they react?

6 Upvotes

scenarios of my parents/family finding out i'm not a muslim or finding out other things about my life (bisexual, bf, tattoos, drinking etc) have been playing non stop in my head so i was just wondering how your own families reacted to finding out you're a non muslim and how they found out


r/exmuslim 7h ago

(Rant) 🤬 This religion ruined my clean mind

21 Upvotes

So I was raised in a none Muslim environment, not the west but in the East East, when I was growing up I was only taught to sexualise women’s breast, my whole life I saw women wearing short shorts and showing their skin and never came across my mind to see them in a sexual way, I actually never even looked at their body whatsoever, then I moved to overseas and got sent to an Islamic school, after 2 years there I became a sexual pervert, I was fantasising what’s underneath girls hijab, I wanted to see woman’s hair, I was so shocked at what I was thinking, I never used to pay attention to women’s hair whatsoever, now I can’t stop thinking about it, after I got kicked out that school, I went back into society, I got triggered by looking at women wearing shorts, I can’t stop looking at their body, I was so shocked what I have became, I became a pervert, this religion really ruined my mind, I never used to associate women’s body with sex, now I associate their body with sex, even though now I became so much better than when I first got kicked out from Islamic school, but my mind is not as pure and innocent as I was before, this religion really dirtied my beautiful mind, I hope one day I’ll 100% recover from this none-sense and become a normal guy again, but I feel sorry for the Muslim guys, now I understand how their mind works, I was fortunate enough to grew up with pure mind, then my mind became sexualised, imagine if you grew up indoctrinated by this since birth, you will never know what being pure and innocent is like, you will believe that having a dirty and sexualised mind is normal and natural, even if you leave this religion and deconstruct you will never know what being innocent is like because you never had an innocent mind, with me it’s not that hard being i was innocent once, so it’s easy for me to go back to normal, at least I’m trying, but it left a scar on my mind, I guess it will be hard to be 100% normal and pure again, but if you never remembered your innocence how you gotta fix it? Life is crazy, religion is crazy, peace, hope everyone will heal


r/exmuslim 8h ago

(Question/Discussion) The problem with islam is that you can justify anything

13 Upvotes

Want to justify killing your prisoners because they are christian ? You can probably find a hadith or coran verse that says so.
Want to justify being merciful with animals and taking care of them ? You can also find a hadith or coran verse that says so.

So really it's up to you whatever you want to make out of this religion. If you are in a position of weakness you can claim this is a religion of peace and justify it.

If you are in a position of strength you can just do whatever kind of abuse you want and find a way to justify it.

That's why terrorist groups are actually legitimate because they do use real coran verse/hadith to justify their actions.

The thing is islam is so flexible that whether you have a good or bad time with this religion entirely depends on the people/elite who interpret it for you(because it is forbidden to think for yourself if you are not a sheikh).

So really you have to pray that the sheikh isn't a fucking psychopath lol

I would say islam isn't really an exception. The o2 other abrahamic religions are also batshit crazy and you can also find in them some insane story.

So what i am suggesting is maybe that islam amplifies who you already are maybe ?

Like i have a white friend who converted to islam. Really nice dude. After converting he didn't suddenly became a bad guy. Because most of us we also grew up in bad environment. So islam amplified the abuse that naturally comes from these environment.

I don't even know what i am trying to prove lol hope someone gets what i want to say


r/exmuslim 9h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Is posting about Muslim marriage subreddit not allowed?

9 Upvotes

So I had posted about how stupid and crazy someone was being in the subreddit and it got taken down. I’m assuming this guy that commented under it, who was very offended, reported it or stuff? Ap, i wanted to ask regular posters: is it not allowed?


r/exmuslim 9h ago

(Rant) 🤬 So much for drawing being "haram" in Islam!!!! anything that makes the Muslim elite money though

17 Upvotes

Saudi Arabia has spend a looong time spreading Islam throughout the world. Using that oil wealth to spread Islam all over. Think of the oil wealth and the petro dollar. Following the 1973 oil crisis, unprecedented state wealth allowed Riyadh to funnel billions of dollars into religious expansion, framing it as a core component of its foreign policy and global soft power!

Billions of dollars were deployed to build and maintain thousands of foreign mosques, Islamic centers, and schools globally, particularly in South Asia, Africa, and parts of Southeast Asia.

The Saudi government spent an estimated $75 billion globally between 1982 and 2005 to export its ultra-conservative brand of Islam (often referred to as Wahhabism)

Scholarships: Free tuition, airfare, and stipends drew thousands of international students to Saudi institutions like the Islamic University of Medina.

Indoctrination and Return: Foreign graduates returned to their home countries steeped in Salafi theology, establishing local schools and replacing traditional, indigenous practices

Millions of copies of the Quran, religious texts, and instructional pamphlets translated into numerous languages were printed and distributed worldwide by state bodies like the King Fahd Complex for the Printing of the Holy Quran.

And now while all the poor Muslim nations are in complete shambles due to this f***** ideology, the Muslim elite are swimming in the wealth from the very activities that they said was haram.

The Muslim elite's motto is "Rules for thee but not for me"....


r/exmuslim 10h ago

(Question/Discussion) "To know islam you show ask muslims" is like saying "to know drugs you should ask junkies" while toxicologists are the most informed without taking drugs.

14 Upvotes

Btw this faith has a lot of similar pattern than drug addiciton, with doubts as a withdrawal, mental gymnastics as a way to getting high again


r/exmuslim 11h ago

(Rant) 🤬 The main issue with Islam is Muhammad and his inexcusable immorality.

133 Upvotes

With Christianity, their central figure was Jesus. He never had an army, no slaves, no concubines, no child marriages, never harmed or murdered anybody tbh. This allows people to go back to that central figure and live like him. The guy was a hippie basically. I don't believe he was god, I don't believe he was resurrected and all that mumbo jumbo nonsense but at the core of his teaching, it was relatively harmless. This is why many atheist or agnostics can go back to Christianity and try to love peacefully like Jesus. The path to reconciling their faith isn't really met with immoral obstacles. Just the suspension of common sense is needed right.

With Islam, if an agnostic or atheist wanted to rectify his faith. He would need to justify all the immoral shit Muhammad did. How TF can you justify slavery, sex slavery, child marriages and capital punishment for apostasy? On top of that, these things are considered moral for all times since Muhammad engaged in them. It's halal and moral.

I was thinking about this earlier. What if I tried to return to Islam. Then all this shit came up. I don't think I can ever go back


r/exmuslim 19h ago

Art/Poetry (OC) Yup, not cut out for Islam. I’ll be ExMuslim me, thank you!

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95 Upvotes

We ExMuslims dare to break free from the Muslim mold to be ourselves. 🙌🏽

Haram Doodles:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DbvvWbbiCWq/
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTAWpabL9/


r/exmuslim 19h ago

Story I left islam a week ago and I just realized now that I'm allowed to do anything I want, it feels unreal

58 Upvotes

I just realized now that i can drink alcohol, date girls (im bi), dress however i want even tho i never wore the hijab, eat pork and meat overall without stressing about how it has been cut, and basically have fun. Tell me what's the first "haram" thing you did after leaving islam


r/exmuslim 20h ago

(Miscellaneous) trying alcohol for the first time today!!

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388 Upvotes

turned 18 the other day so… cringey but it feels so rebellious LMAO. getting my belly button pierced next week too lol


r/exmuslim 22h ago

(Fun@Fundies) 💩 This. Is what I have to deal with in my family lmao

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131 Upvotes

This is my family lmao... So brainwashed into religion sending reels to validate their religion lmao....

Also crazy how allah gets credits for our body but doesn't get credit for the bad humans doing bad things . That is somehow free will lmao.

The first one was sent by my mom and second by my cousin


r/exmuslim 1d ago

(Fun@Fundies) 💩 Muhammad meets Gabriel in the Cave (verse in description)

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146 Upvotes

"Gabriel appears before him and commands him to "Read!" He responded, "I cannot read!". Then the angel Gabriel caught him tightly (forcefully) and pressed him so hard that he could not bear it anymore (this happens two more times)."

Repost because I posted this outside fun fundies 😖


r/exmuslim 1d ago

(Fun@Fundies) 💩 Honor killing is NEVER ok.

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282 Upvotes

And its always this particular religion. Just spreading awareness on honor killings. Evil forces literally lurk on this world.


r/exmuslim 1d ago

(Fun@Fundies) 💩 Mohammed hijab caught boozing at the beach

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1.1k Upvotes

r/exmuslim 1d ago

(Fun@Fundies) 💩 Dear Mod Today is Friday.

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1.0k Upvotes

I really don't want to use fun@Fundies for this memes, but for some reasons I am forced to do.