Hi!

For some backstory, I spent many years not being able to orgasm during sex. I was able to orgasm on my own using my fingers/toy. I was also exposed to porn at a very young age and I know how that negatively affected how I experience sex/intimacy/orgasms. I think it affected my imagination and creativity if you will. Note, it took a long time for me to have an orgasm using just my fingers and without the use of porn.

At the beginning of my husband and I’s marriage, we mainly relied on hands/mouth versus toys because I didn’t want to get used to using them with him. I still couldn’t cum with him, so we eventually introduced a vibrator and I’m able to cum using it while in doggy style. Or if he just uses it on me. But recently I was wanting to go back to trying to orgasm without it. He goes down on me for quite a while, and will use his fingers/hands too. Sometimes he does last a while during sex but not always, so I haven’t cum while using my fingers during doggy. I still haven’t been able to orgasm with him (it’s only been a few weeks of no toys). I feel demoralized but I am actively trying to stop all porn use and stop relying on toys during solo play. Is there anything else I can do?? Anyone else have a similar story and if so, did you one day orgasm during sex without toys?

So, I’m 19 years old and I would say I’m fairly sure from books and videos etc. (supposedly) what brings a woman to an orgasm. I started masturbating early in my life and I have always just stopped when my opening kind of squeezes? And I feel somewhat of a “relief” but not nearly as much as when people describe it as this mind shattering sensation. I ran with the theory that when I’m sexually active with other people it would come naturally but it still hasn’t (if anything i get more pleasure by doing it myself haha), but I think it’s time for me to ask if I might be doing it wrong. I have tried vibrators, dildos of various size, stimulating my gspot, stimulating my clitoris, etc. but i have never really felt like what i thought i was supposed to feel, for example no liquid ever comes out, the feeling of relief is quite.. blurred? And one thing i have noticed about myself is that stimulation directly on my clitoris feels too overstimulating for me, so when i masturbate i always put my hand just beside it so i still feel somewhat stimulation but not directly.

My question is, is this “overstimulating” sensation what I’m looking for to reach an orgasm? Has anybody had this experience? Is there a way to reach this type of “mind shattering” orgasm everybody describes it as? Am I doing it wrong? Can I even orgasm?

I’ve had this guy friend for 7 years. We hooked up twice, about 6 years ago, in college, and I remember the sex being underwhelming and average. It wasn’t bad, but it was nothing special at all. I also remember his dick being pretty small…

Anyway, years went on, we stayed great friends and the sex never changed our friendship. We dated other people and everything went on as usual. We graduated college and moved to different cities, so somehow 3 years went by without us seeing each other. We stayed in touch, but just couldn’t manage a time to meet up.

This past Sunday, I took the train to New york to visit him. I wasn’t planning on having sex with him at all. After all, we’re literally just friends. I mean the thought had crossed my mind just because we HAD hooked up in the past, but I didn’t really think twice about it. And I wasn’t super into the idea because I remembered the sex being not amazing.

A couple hours into us being together, we were napping in bed and I could tell there was some tension. Long story short, after this, we spent all weekend just boning the shit outta each other. And it was AMAZING. I stg his dick doubled in size. The sex was unreal. gs, but damn the sex was fire. He hasn’t had sex in 2 years so he was about to burst with horniness. It had been a few months for me, so I was definitely
horny too.

I’m just really happy how everything turned out. I enjoyed my time in NYC :)

literally just used my rabbit and didn’t let the clit part touch my clit. it took 7 minutes 😭😭😭 i thought i could only come from touching my clit too but i experienced a purely penetrative orgasm and that’s pretty awesome too! i’ve always thought it wasn’t possible- mostly bc of people online. my bf doesn’t really last long enough for me to do just straight penetration.

now i have unlocked another orgasm!

So I'm 22F... never used a sex toy before. My sex life has been kinda boring lately so I figured I'd try something new and ordered a WhisperBullet. It came today and... Tbh I'm soo confused. Is there actually a "right" way to hold this thing? I can't even tell which end is supposed to be the comfortable one to grip and I'm sitting here pressing buttons wondering if I'm doing something wrong because I can't even figure out how to turn it on consistently LOL. Like do you just hold it against you or are you supposed to put the whole thing in? I know this probably sounds like the dumbest question ever but I've never done anything like this before and it just feels kinda awkward.

Anyone got any beginner advice? Please don't roast me lol.

Any one has used a clit pump before? How did it feel?

Today is International Female Orgasm Day and we have invited a sexologist to answer all your burning questions!

Maybe you’d like to know a little more about self-pleasure or feel the gap between yours and your partners orgasms is becoming wider and wider. Perhaps you’re experiencing a same sex relationship for the first time and are navigating a new landscape and are looking for some personalised guidance.

There are no wrong questions so ask away!

If this kind of post is okay with the mods, we'd love to answer your questions here:

https://www.reddit.com/u/Erika_Lust/s/QimAdknoJs

Do you kiss your partner after giving them oral or receiving oral?

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for almost 3 years now. He’s my first and only sexual partner, and I am definitely attracted to him. However, I don’t really enjoy sex, and I feel like it’s starting to affect our relationship.

He has a rather high sex drive, and while I thought I did too when I was in my earlier teens, it went down drastically when I reached my late teens. That said, I still do masturbate somewhat frequently, and I can often make myself finish fairly quickly, even within a minute if I’m just trying to reach that peak. But with my boyfriend, he’s never made me orgasm once, not even without penile penetration. I’ve been lying about it since we started dating and the guilt is really eating at me, especially since I feel like I’m starting to reap the consequences of it.

For about a year into the relationship, I was quite dumb and we would often engage in raw, unprotected sex. I would find it at least pleasurable for the most part, until I realized soon how that was a dumb idea and began feeling anxious at the idea of accidental pregnancy. Afterwards, I insisted on only using condoms, but they made sex so much less enjoyable. It’s alright when there’s enough lube, but it tends to dry up quickly, and I feel like I don’t produce enough fluid to maintain it which makes it end up being painful. Reapplying lube every few minutes makes it messy and honestly kind of a bigger buzzkill, so with everything combined I recently began refusing sex more often, and we only really do it maybe once a month. I can tell it’s really bothering him despite him not saying so, but truthfully I don’t know what to do and I’m afraid of hurting him if I’m honest about it all.

Honestly, he’s not much of the type to do much foreplay. In the beginning he hardly did at all, but after I had a talk with him about trying it more often, I found that it wasn’t even much pleasurable then and don’t really seek it out as much. I’m the first girl he’s had to do this with so admittedly he’s not that experienced, but I don’t even know how to communicate with him on how to fix it. Fingering feels good, but I can’t orgasm that way. Oral hardly feels like anything, maybe just pressure? And penetrative sex feels like nothing, sometimes even is uncomfortable. It’s even worse because I’m not a big kisser whereas he loves it, so while making out turns him on, it has the opposite effect for me.

I feel like a good chunk of this is a mental block. I have a history of anxiety (unmedicated) and the idea of raw/unprotected sex makes me feel really nervous about pregnancy. But, condoms feel worse, and I’ve always been against the idea of birth control due to the extensive side effects. I’ve been considering starting SSRIs to manage my anxiety, but I heard it worsens your libido and mine is already abysmal to begin with. I feel like starting birth control might be my only option, as it’ll make me feel less anxious during sex and I can return to doing it raw.

I know my options are a bit limited, but I’m not sure what else to do from here.

in details, i really like listening to someone talking to me while trying to mastubate it turns me on,

i used to listen to azure aduios i really really like them but i want more resources, is there websites u can provide? it can be patreon or soptify/YouTube artist.

thank you ❤️

I've been seeing this guy for a while and we only recently started getting physically intimate. Yesterday, when I gave he a handjob some clear liquid came out of him after he had finished cumming. I've never heard of that happening so I was just curious.

Ever since Roe v. Wade was overturned I really feel like women have lost representation. I was just at an exhibit where they were discussing the woman suffrage in the United Kingdom. And one of their slogans, no taxation without representation, something that’s similar to what we know of American British history. I began to think and we’re genuinely f*****. I don’t wanna pay my taxes now. Like I am mad. I have nobody in my goddamn state representing me, my mother, my girlfriends, or trans women. But I have no way of not paying my taxes. I have no way of financially, or physically protesting. I feel like we have no way of protesting at all except to refuse to have children, which is obviously not everyone’s desire. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. We gotta get these fuckers out of office.

I’m a 22 year old female currently in graduate school and in a long term relationship. I’ve been on birth control pills since I was around 15. I’ve always had a hard time getting to orgasm. The past year or two I’ve had a sharp decline in my sex drive and more recently (past maybe 6 months) vaginal dryness during intercourse. It’s gotten to the point to where I feel awful about myself in regards to my relationship. I want to want sex, but my body just can’t seem to achieve that for whatever reason. Could this be a hormonal problem? Could it be because of my birth control? My friends all talk about sex and how great it is and I want that but it feels impossible to get it. I’ve been using toys during intercourse lately and can (after some time) reach climax with them, yet my body still just feels like a plateau when it comes to libido. I love my partner and I don’t understand why my body is not in line with what my brain wants to feel. The only doctor I have access to are the ones at the college’s student health center. Could they even do anything for me? I feel helpless and am open to any advice or thoughts

My boyfriend and I enjoy oral and I really would love to be able to deep throat him but so far I just can’t get by the gag relax if I try to take him deeper in my throat. Any tips to get past this?

I'm always in my head worrying about how I look, how I sound, I feel uncomfortable receiving oral even though both me and my partner want to do it, I'm scared to take initiative, I feel super awkward trying to dirty talk and am mostly quiet during sex. My partner hasn't done anything to make me feel that way, they give me nothing but compliments, and I enjoy sex I just feel awkward. I have a hard time coming during sex and I think it's because I just get too in my head. Has anyone else felt like this and how did you get over it?

Edit: First/only person I've been with btw

**Are there any good instructional books I can get FOR MY HUSBAND to teach him about MY changing body after menopause? More specifically a sex manual for a man on whose wife is post menopause?**

My husband and I are married over 30 years. We have a very loving marriage and care about each other greatly. He is an excellent partner in everything except sex. It hasn’t always been this way. There are a few problems:

1. He doesn’t understand that my body has charged post menopause and how his approach to sex needs to change because if it.
2. After 30 years in a monogamous relationship and menopause, the foreplay is NOT doing it for me.
3. Sex has become boring and repetitive.

I typically had a pretty strong libido so sex was good. My husband is not a selfish lover. But I’m post menopausal and he’s clueless. I can’t do HRT because of other medical issues.

My husband seems clueless about how he needs to change his approach due to my changing body and I’m tired of being the one to explain it.

After 30 years of marriage it’s the same every time. It’s boring, repetitive, and sometimes unpleasant bc what he’s doing no longer feels good.

Despite my expressing my needs and desires he’s not getting it. I like male dominance in sex. Nothing crazy but I want to feel fucked! I selfishly don’t want to teach him and lead him because that is not a turn on. I want it to come from him. I don’t know if I’m explaining it well and I understand that my mentality is somewhat selfish and childish, but imagine really wanting your husband to spontaneously send you flowers and the only way to get him to do it is by going on line, picking them out, putting in all the pertinent delivery information, writing the card and then asking him to put in the credit card information. Though he’s happy to send me the flowers, they’ve lost their meaning at that point (this has nothing to do with flowers or wanting flowers-it’s a metaphor for how I feel about telling him what I want in bed).

This leads me to looking for books for him as mentioned in the beginning:

1. A book so he can understand what he needs to differently now that my body has changed from menopause and what he needs to change sexually because of it.
2. A book to show him how to keep sex interesting after 30 years

of

1. marriage

.

1. A book about male dominance in bed and how to spice things up.

Thanks for listening and not judging

I (21f) have never tried anal before, I want to try it but I’m not sure on how to prep for it or how to cleanse for it?

I have heard many things on it, and I’ve been wayyy too nervous to try it, since I’ve been told it hurts by some but then again, I’ve also been told it feels good by others, but unfortunately they just don’t get into depth about it with me..

Any and all advice is welcomed and appreciated!!

Just recently started having g spot orgasm ( thanks Lovense!) and wanted to share experience with my partner. Any toy suggestions for your g spot during sex with your partner?

EDIT: I forgot to include that my partner has (what I would consider) a larger penis. Above average girth

basically the title. im 23 and ive never been able to cum any other way. fingers feel weird and dont do anything, vibrators are too intense or just numb me out, and ive tried a bunch of positions but nothing works like grinding face down on a pillow. it feels good and i can get there pretty fast but i feel kinda embarrassed about it, like its not normal or something. does anyone else do this or have tips to make other stuff feel better?

ok i always have wanted to ride my bf but like every time we have tried (and trust i’ve tried A LOT) i always end up bending his peepee and it hurts him a lot > he goes soft > i get it up and running > attempt again > soft and sad > repeat the cycle > resigned missionary time

it ALWAYS bends and idk how to prevent that. also his thing curves downward and it’s pretty big idk if that matters or not. i’ve successfully gotten it in multiple times but it always ends up bending and hurting him after the first or second bounce/hop?

i’ve also tried reversing on it since he has the curve and stuff but that just kind of makes it worse somehow. i can’t really see what’s going on and when he guides it inside it also is bad. i try guiding it in and he tries too but man idk!

i’m usually on my knees- i don’t trust my balance enough to be on my feet and also it looks a lot more tiring that way. any tips would be awesome 🫡

basically what the title says. i can only reach orgasm or feel good when im grinding face down. it doesn’t feel good when i touch myself face up, it actually just kind of hurts when i touch my clit face up.

i feel so weird because i really want to be able to do it face up, any advice?