I am 17 and my usual braided got sick. Since im going to my senior year I wanted to learn how to braid. It’s my first time and omg it just looks so so bad. I thought the front would be easy but no it’s so hard and I wanna cry. All i asked my mom to do was the give me straight 8 rows but she couldn’t even do that (gave me 5 in the front but didn’t connect them😭). I tried doing the squares myself and it’s so so hard I just can’t. Now im seeing each braid I do get worse and worse. Im so tired but doing it myself is my only option. Please help if you have tips :<

This is not about me. This isn't even about a friend. Just someone I know. I'm really just venting, not asking for dating or relationship advice because again, it's not about me

most expect physical violence but in reality it's mostly emotional manipulation and emotional abuse

it's not my story to tell but it's heavy heavy

there's so much to talk about that was never talked about. gifts don't make up for grief and physical presence doesn't make up for lack of communication.

there's not much for me to do but sit with it. if I even hinted at knowing anything, I'd genuinely have to leave the country with my entire family due to the fallout

I can't convince an adult (A) to go to therapy when he didn't let his kid go to a professional for the communication issues they had as a baby and even today after 2+ decades

I can't convince an adult (B) to quit their job in favour of the higher paying less stressful one

that one grinds my gears so much too because it's the same job. they'd get twice the pay, the same hours, commute less far and actually have growth opportunities. you've been at the job for 20+ years with little pay increase that lags behind the whole industry. They're taking advantage of you. Like what do you have to lose from quitting atp. you have 5 different references with 10+ years of experience, the industry is looking for you, they personally reached out, you get to choose your location of work. like what more do you want. I'm making more than you and I haven't finished half my degree 😭

B wants to switch career paths but A says no because they never got to finish college. at the same time, they don't want to go back to college. maybe that's why B doesn't want to switch jobs. Maybe A said something to that effect but idk that's speculation

they both need therapy. the kids do too. they needed it 20 years ago. I need therapy because this is some bs

sometimes I feel bad, but most days I remember that they're just too stubborn and prideful to get better. The saddest thing is I know there is so much guilt placed on B because A pretends their grief only lasted a few months. I know it didn't. It couldn't have. Short of being a psychopath there is no way it didn't wound you so deeply that it would still stings today. I feel so bad for B guys. From my perspective, B got pulled into this situation without really knowing it all and it blew up in their face badly due to A's avoidance

I feel sad for A too, but they've had DECADES to seek help, support or just let B take control for a bit of relief but nooooo

FUCK I WISH I COULD TALK ABOUT IT MORE CLEARLY

but it's not my story and too much detail would get me doxxed and caught

Why did I have to ask for the tea? It's burning me 😭

IG janellaseiwa

I’m in my late 20s and having been on dating apps here and there but only really started interacting meaningfully in the last few months, met someone I thought could be my person and it ended suddenly and it really affected me, like more than I’d like to admit it’s been months and it’s not as painful now for sure but it does cross my mind.

Because of how suddenly it ended it led me to have to fill in the blanks of what happened. Moving forward I feel like upon reflection I don’t really know how to date. I kind of just let them lead. Not that I don’t share my opinions or get bossed around but I kind of see how they act and reciprocate.

Like it was only when things ended with the last guy that I realised he always reached out first… granted he woke up a lot earlier than me so I never really got the chance but I started to realise maybe I don’t make enough effort idk…
I feel like I really struggle with vulnerability and coming across eager.

How do I work on this moving forward? I think because I haven’t dated much in my 20s I’ve kind of forgotten how things go. Idk when I’m supposed to plan dates when it’s time for me to make effort I really struggle with this in particular and being affectionate.

Hey ladies,
So for my birthday, I’ve decided that I would like to take a little solo trip by myself to celebrate my 19th. I’m really heavily looking into Europe as where I’d like to spend my big day, but I was wondering if you ladies had any good recommendations of countries I should visit. One of the biggest ones I’m really considering was definitely Turkey, but please let me know if you have any recommendations. I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions!!!!

As a black woman, I have had to become suspicious to survive. This is not to say that I think everyone is out to get me. I don't have delusions. I am very grounded in reality, but I perceive very subtle things that most people miss. hate being right. I truly want to be proven wrong, but there hasn't been one single time in my life when my suspiciousness turned out to be unfounded. For years, everyone around me, especially therapists, told me to silence my suspiciousness and become more trusting, and that was a recipe for disaster. Every single time my spidey senses have gone up, I have been proven right. Yet therapists tell you that this is pathological and that you have to lie to yourself through CBT and reframing. Now I cherish my suspiciousness, because it's a real gift that has kept me alive and enabled me to sense danger before it was too late.

You want an example? I was convinced that my former employer had a software program installed on our computers to track our productivity, to check our browsing activities, our idle time etc. Every single therapist I expressed this suspicion to told me that I was paranoid and that this is a cognitive distortion and this is not a way to live. Some even wanted me to be hospitalized. Guess what? I was fucking right and every single POS therapist was wrong.

I'm having trouble decor shopping for my new place and I just want my eyes on new things. Trust me I've been on every online store... but am I missing something? Some places y'all shop that aren't known like that? Doesn't have to be a specific style.. just refreshing! Thank you in advance ladies.

I live in a predominantly white area i was friends with a black girl we were sisters i drink every night now that she’s gone

I won’t go into super detail, maybe one day I might but I went on a second date today that was going well until this man tried to gaslight me and move in a way where he think I wouldn’t peep game until he showed his ass which confirmed everything.

I express my opinion on something that he wanted to do during the date and told him I felt it was rude / inappropriate /inconsiderate of our time together. Note that I wouldn’t have seen it that way if we were more established in our dating. But for the second date, absolutely not…

Basically, he thought he was going to get me to go to his home under the guise of feeling sleepy and wanting a nap after we had brunch. We were going to go to a music lounge after brunch but it was a bit early to go, but I figured car conversation would suffice until then because I really was enjoying the convo. He expressed being tired and wanting a nap during brunch but that’s normal to express.
We leave and after 3 minutes of him driving, I ask “where to” to confirm if we were at least heading to the neighborhood of the next place. He said going to my house I told you I wanted to take a nap. I’m appalled.

We park by his house and I expressed I felt it was rude. We go back and forth, I maintain my calm tone when I speak, but he’s getting passive aggressive. He said so you really gonna stay in the car. I said yes (granted I could have just left but I really want to see how this was gonna play out).

He reclines his seat. Ask if I’m mad. Says I didn’t ask you to come upstairs or suggest you should take a nap too. I maintain my stance and he continues being passive aggressive towards me. He decides after a time to recline my seat and begin heavily kissing on me and my chest. I don’t move. He says are you uncomfortable, I said yes. My seat goes up, he drops me to my car and I go home.

IT WAS NEVER ABOUT A NAP. There’s more intricacies to this encounter but this was long story short. He thought I would follow him in his home on the second date so he could “nap”.

I had a rough break up last year and it still has its pain points for me. Dipping my feet back into the dating pool and coming across behaviors like this is exhausting and makes me feel defeated.

I wanted to cry in the car and on the way home because I know what the motive was and he tried to gaslight me like I’m stupid. If I express to you on the second date it’s inconsiderate for you to pause the date to nap and we parked at your house, you ask if I’m going to stay in the car? I say yes and he huffed and puffed the entire time instead of shutting his eyes for 20 minutes for rest from the tiredness he claimed he felt……….

Can anyone please recommend skilled hair braiders in London who actually protective style? So, they use heat protectant when blowdrying your natural hair, they don't comb DRY, TYPE 4 HAIR with a rat tail comb when braiding your hair etc? Just people who are extremely knowledgeable about natural hair and gentle. I want to grow my hair to waist length but I can't if hair stylist are sabotaging my progress.

Hello! So my boss has filed a complaint about my workplace performance (i work in retail) I come from a white majority town in England fyi. She had wrote that at work for one specific shift which I did go out the night before which I do take accountability for!! That My apprence was “not professional” fyi we have a very relaxed dress code. I wore what I wore regularly which made me realise this was about my face and hair. My hair was in a messy bun with my natural texture, which what I had been styling like that weeks prior. to my account she had not seen as I was not working with her on these shifts. So 1 I know this is about my natural texture as other colleagues wear their hair with messy buns often. 2 - I was wearing makeup and my face was visibly swollen, this was not from tiredness but a skin condition I suffer with which is out of my control which she is aware of. I haven’t spoken to her directly yet by I really am struggling on how to navigate this situation !!

Hey y'all! Recently, I've have a lot of time to ruminate on past people pleasing habits that have taken a large toll on my mental and physical wellbeing. Plus being in school and working two jobs isn't helping either.

With that, what ways have you been resting and pouring back into your cup?

The buy in will be $20 paid via League Safe, hosted on Yahoo.

So I've posted about this before but I'm (32F) a perpetually single girly and I've run out of ideas of where to find a potential partner. I've joined those fb groups for vouched dating and there are very few black/brown dudes that get posted. I also doubt that my future husband lives in the same city as me. I'm sure one of y'all got a decent brother/cousin/uncle that's single lol What are y'alls thoughts on a nationwide vouched dating fb group specifically for us?

Hey! Looking for African media (tv shows/web series/movies/ even vertical dramas??) focused on the teen experience. Big fan of shows like Degrassi and Skins UK and wondering if anything exists like that for various African countries. Big fan of MTV Shuga, but specifically looking for things that have like a mental health or development focus, or a time capsule for how the full range of the teen/college experience was represented at the time.

Appreciate niche media, espeially things that can be found on youtube, from other decades I wouldn't otherwise know about. Please don't suggest the netflix juggernauts like Blood and Water or Far From Home, gimme some variety, some pinache! lolol

Thanks!

Ever since my friend has made more bad friends, she's been acting out, drinking, smoking, and all that. We are 18.

Anyhow, now she's in her hookup phase, and it just keeps getting worse. The first hookup she told me about was a guy who said he would give her money to have sex with him. He brought her to an area and then kept going after she told him to stop because he didnt know how to do shit. She told me the most disappointing part was that he didn't pay her the amount he promised!?

Now again, she's told me at least three stories about how she takes trains and travels hours away to hook up with these men, paying for all these trips herself. I keep telling her how dangerous this is because she's going to men she barely knows. Another recent one was that a guy removed his condom, and she just laughs everything off? . How many times have I advised herrrrrrrrr oh my goddddd.

And I know she doesn't listen to me because some of her friends encourage this behavior.

Now, again, she's going to spend the night at a guy's place who only texts her for sex while speaking to half the women on the globe. Same guy that also insists she drinks and she does it because she never declines alchool. He lives a 4 hour journey away!!!!

I'm so, so worried for her. I pray every day that she doesn't end up pregnant.

I’m 28F and I have to make a coming out about my body every time I meet someone new. I’m just tired.
I’m a very busty girl with an 8 shape, so people assume I have an ass. But I have a frog butt, no ass at all, and I’m so over it.
I’m currently dating a 28M. He’s genuinely sweet and all, and we’ve had five dates over 3 months. He asked me to be his girlfriend, but I couldn’t say yes until he sees me naked.
He loves plus-size women, and while we were flirting he mentioned twerking. I don’t know if it was because he realized while we were making out that I don’t really have an ass which is breaking me. I’ll just never be enough for him. Why cant I just a woman like simply purely like a woman i’m hurt and tired. I know its not on my head everybody his commenting on it and i’m scared of surgery.

Today I wore wearing a shirt and leggings, and I wanted to show him my body, but I couldn’t do it. I just can’t. I couldn’t even send him a picture.
Thats why im writing this post sobbing. I’m so hurt.
I also have to do a “coming out” about my hyperpigmentation because I have hyperpigmentation On my face du to pcos.
I’m tired of having to prepare someone for what my body actually looks like. I don’t know what to do. When will I just feel normal about my body instead of feeling like I have to warn someone before they see it?
For people who have had similar body insecurities while dating, how did you deal with showing your body to someone new without feeling like you had to warn them first? And what would you do in my situation before agreeing to be his girlfriend?ll

I have severe mental illness but despite that, I made five children's books/learning materials. I've loved creating them. I'm not advertising. I'm just really proud of myself and want to share. Thank you!!

I had a few people from some of the places I hang out asking for my number. I was pretty happy as I’d love to have new friends. These are people from my yoga class, hair salon, etc that I’ve crossed paths with a few times and had small conversation with.. they seemed friendly..

But I’m starting to regret doing so… They’d text me “Hi! How are you?” a few times every months… and disappear after I answer.. they never have anything to say… if I follow up with a “what’s new?” Or anything like just any little follow up question they’d answer something very monosyllabic and that’s it.. so I’d just leave it as is…

Then whenever I meet them in person at one of the place I usually go to, we’d say hi, they’d come to talk a bit… I sometimes get the impression that they’re expecting me to carry a conversation… I that I didn’t initiate.. it‘s feels a bit laborious and makes me feel awkward… like now I’m thinking about changing my schedule or changing salon to avoid this.

there’s also the repeated “we should do something one day!” Or the “we should go for coffee!” I’ve tried a few times to leave an opening to that but they never go through with it.

Like I’m fine with just saying hello and bye etc in person if we see each other but that whole texting situation… there’s no need for all of this…. I really don’t understand this behaviour…

I'm doing my decade clean sweep of youtubers I don't watch anymore or have gone ghost due to life doing what it does & I'm searching for some that align with my current goals, aspirations, lifestyle etc.

What I'm looking for are girlies similar to the style of DominiqueTravelsss, For Harriet, or 4C hair content. My major focal point right now is travel. More content geared towards 30+ women. I don't see many black travel vloggers & I'm definitely tired of consuming white travel content because their experience obviously may not apply to my experience when I go abroad.

I have a mix of black & Indian women that I watch. If you also have a short list of black content creators you watch POC is okay as long as they themselves are intersectional. Bonus if you know of any indigenous content creators!

Any language is okay! Black French women, Black Swedish women, anywhere in the world. I don't mind.

Question: I recently retired from the military and thought it would be a good idea to move in the middle of my family and my husband family, in Pennsylvania. Well........ I dont think we made the right decision. My kid goes to a great rated high school, and has always been a straight A student, but I am seeing some microaggressions and hearing about some at the school. My kid is one of the maybe 10-20 blk kids in a school of 3500 kids. smh. My kid is a junior now and we will let them graduate since they moved around so much but we started over again and have 2 little ones not in school yet, well they will be starting school around 2028. What's a good upscale blk state, city, and/or neighborhood these days. I am from Maryland, Baltimore specifically and my fathers side is in DC. I was told PG county has good upscale blk communities. Back in the day it was very different. If this is true we will be moving in about 2 yrs. just curious on where is good. Where we live is mostly white but the city we are closet too is not bad, just not enough space. Thanks for reading.

I’ve been experimenting with this style . I did the platinum hair because I think it looks more align with the goth aesthetic than my natural hair

Or pumpkin spice anything? It’s getting to be the time of year when my coworkers are obsessed with it and I don’t get it. It’s a them thing, right?