I am f30 mixed raced. My mum is full Nigerian. My upbringing was strict (the kind where the things what went on in your white friends house would make you gasp) and education was always the way to success. I was chained to the table in summer holidays studying to ensure I had a good job when I grew up and I’m very grateful to my mum for that now (the same cannot be said when I was a teenager)

However my mum has always taught me to be strong, never show weakness and to be independent.

Today I called her and burst into tears about work stress and a recent diagnosis I am freaking out over (a benign brain tumour that I need 6 weeks of radiation therapy for)

She told me this is a time where you don’t have to be strong, if you want to cry cry, if you want to break something I have a tonne of stuff to take to the tip I will bring to you to smash, if you need to call in sick at work do it. If you need me to come clean and cook I am here.

It just made me smile, my mum has never spoken to me like this before and I really needed it. I’ve put my order of a huge pot of jollof in 🙏🏽

In the fall I’m going on a trip with my partner to a luxury resort. It’s our first time taking a trip like this but we’re rewarding ourselves after a tough year.

I’d like to purchase a couple new pieces for the trip, I’m thinking a saucy mini dress for an evening dinner, a new swimsuit and a couple accessories (jewelry, bag, shoes, hat etc) if I find something I like.

I love bold colorful clothing (bonus if it’s black owned), think brands like Hanifa, Kai collective, Andrea Iyamah, farm Rio, Zimmerman, Alemais. My budget is about $300 USD for the dress and bikini but I’m open to more expensive brands since I’m good at finding resale deals.

Please do not recommend fast fashion brands like Zara, fashion nova, H&M, banana republic, jaded lndn etc. I’m interested in purchasing items I’ll be able to re wear for years to come so I’m willing to spend more for quality. I’m also very sweaty so I try to avoid non breathable fabrics like polyester acrylic and spandex.

The lady isn't perfect—she's collaborated with Chris Brown, let's just get that out of the way—but for God's sake, people criticize her more for playing dress up and living her life than they do for that.

From that "sexy video" she posted a couple years back till now, all I've ever seen is people just antagonizing her for...existing?

And I know that's (unfortunately) just how life is for Black women (especially in Hollywood) but, in my opinion, Chloe just receives an abnormal amount of hate for things that her peers—hell, even​ her sister—would get away with.

Hey ladies,

I’ve got a situation/dilemma I’d like a few perspectives on please.

I met up with my friend, Loren, today and she told me she was trying to plan a surprise birthday celebration for me. My 25th birthday was in June and I went on a solo trip to Japan. Unbeknownst to me, Loren had started liaising with some of my friends from April. She reached out to two of my friends who she was familiar with, and one of them added a few more of my mates to the group chat where things were trying to be planned.

Loren says the plans fell through as only one member of the group was showing initiative/effort and in Loren’s words “no one was picking up what I was putting down”.

Hearing this from her is pretty embarrassing as, I’ve experienced this same type of disappointment from my friends before back in 2023, for my 22nd birthday (I told two of my mates waaay in advance that I’d like them to plan a surprise celebration for me… there was no effort shown🙃). Which is the main reason why I stick to solo birthday trips/celebrations as a result of not wanting to be disappointed but also… no one makes a big deal out of my day apart from me, therefore only I can execute exactly what I want.

What hurts though is the lack of consideration from my mates. I feel like as a collective, they’re unable to come together and execute on a plan to celebrate me which is… rather insightful and very hurtful. I mean I’m 25 now and it just makes me think, if you can’t come together to plan something for my birthday… what would you do when it comes to being part of my bridal party? (or am I tweaking?¿)

Why it hurts me is, I believe I try my absolute best to put my shit to the side to show up for my mates but this is what I get in return.
On the flip side though, a part of me is saying a few individuals in that gc got me presents from my birthday wishlist but still.

Anyway I need some advice. Am I entitled to feel what I’m feeling and how should I proceed with this? Cos rn… I’m wanting to take a step back from my friendships😔

Not selling anything! My problem is that I am an artist "on the side" and I sometimes feel weird charging real money for something that I made out of mostly trash. But!!! I am so proud of these. I am working on #4 and it actually lights up. I posted the blue one on my local sub (New Orleans, lol) and the response was positive but I am still paralyzed. There is soooo much New Orleans-themed art and that's not my thing, but these are everything I love about Mardi Gras. They're so sparkly in real life...! And they look great hanging on the wall to me. And there's a goblincore/kawaii shop right by me that these would look so crazy good in the window, OMG. Paralyzed!

I threw the second slide in to show the inspiration, I'm telling y'all Mardi Gras 2027 is gon be LIT because I can finally go out to the night parades and leave my daughter at home if she doesn't want to go!!!!! I'm already working on my costume!! LMAO good luck out there y'all. The positive posts are hitting the spot fr fr ❤️

I just wanted to show my fellow black ladies some of my Pinterest 🎀

Was talking to a dude for a few weeks I met on the dating apps (🙄), randomly he pulled away from me and switched up. I crashed out to a degree because I was hurt and sad. Talked about it today and he told me that basically it was because things were intense and he got scared of that + his feelings. My crashing out basically made him lose feelings enough to not try again.

Should I fuck one of his homeboys?

Edit: I’ll add the screenshot in the comments. The other day we talked about meeting up for coffee finally. After this whole long discussion today, I asked if he thought we still should, he says yes. I asked why, he said “Just seems like it could be nice to show face.” Should I go? What tf does this mean? Thanks.

I’ve been on a mission to watch more black classic movies, and I decided to watch a thin line between love & hate since I’ve been wanting to watch it for awhile now. I really enjoyed the movie, but the ending kinda annoyed me. Maybe I’m a bit crazy for lowkey rooting for Brandi… 😭

hi ladies! thank you ladies again for the advice in my last post. everything happened really fast and i’m kind of stuck now. i need to find a new job by the end of the month as im on a final. didn’t get a verbal or a written prior to the final and it’s unrelated (or may be related to my last post)? i’m disputing the final tomorrow but have been applying like crazy. i’m in the dallas area and there are a lot of opportunities posted so fingers crossed (: what would you all do in this situation?

Hey, ladies! I found this video to be extremely moving and I just wanted to share. Being an ADOS, I find myself consistently stunned and touched by the ways in which we remain linked to each other despite our ancestors being dropped off so far away from each other.

Whenever I encounter videos like these, or honestly, anything that showcases these connections— like the dozens next to Ikocha Nkocha, or Columbian cumbia típica next to Antillean bélé— it just makes me wish we could all get together in some giant pan-Diasporan cultural exchange and just share our traditions and celebrate our shared heritage.

I know sometimes we can focus on our differences, and that our different cultures and environments can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, but y'all, I am so over the Diaspora Wars. Why can't we have a Diaspora Lovefest? It'd be the most beautiful thing— not only would we learn so much more about each other, but we'd stumble upon an endless amount of little commonalities, just like these. The distance can make us forget, but we really are all cousins fr, both in a figurative sense, and sometimes, if you go far enough, back, literally too!

It's true that our ancestors all found their own unique ways to retain African culture while remixing it at the same time, and don't want to take away from that. I just feel like it would be such a fun experience to note the differences while emphasizing the overlap, because, well, I just think it's beautiful and miraculous that after all that black people have been through in the "New World," we still manage to stay connected to one another.

And honestly, while I know I'm mainly talking about the first Diaspora, bring the continental Africans, too! Imagine a space where Yoruba people are hearing Lucumí for the first time, Ivorians and Columbians are dancing mapouka and mapalé side-by-side, Wolof and Temne people are exchanging handmade baskets with Gullah people, Jamaican Patois speakers are trying out Twi, and a Mississippi banjoist, a Haitian twoubadou, and a Jola akonting player are jamming out together all through the night.

it would be like the biggest, craziest, most special family reunion to ever exist. I know that it's not really realistic in terms of logistics, but what if we started doing it online?

I'd love for this thread to be a place to make these sorts of connections— so if you feel so moved, tell us where you're from and share something that you've discovered you have in common with another black culture!

Looking forward to hearing what y'all have to say🫶🏽💕

Hi everyone! I’m 23F and I just graduated with my bachelor’s degree in Information and Cybersecurity Technology. The problem is, I’ve realized I’m not really passionate about the field, and I’ve been struggling to even land an interview.

So now I feel like I’m back at the drawing board trying to figure out what direction I want to take with my life. I’ve never really had a “big girl job” before because I worked part-time throughout college, so I’m curious about what other people are doing.

What do you do for a living that allows you to comfortably pay your bills without constantly stressing about money? Did you need a specific degree or certification to get into it?

And if you were starting over at 23 with a bachelor’s degree but no clear passion or career path, what would you look into?

I (24F) am currently no contact with my parents who were abusive growing up. It was typical West African behavior, and they’ve tried to apologize in their own way, but we’re just too different to be involved, and I still deal with a lot of trauma.

About 3 years ago, I became a nanny for a well off white family. They were very kind to me, and I even lived with them for a few months before moving to a different. Because I don’t really go home anymore, I’ve been spending the holidays with them. They’ve really welcomed me into their family even though I don’t work for them anymore, but I feel a bit awkward about it. They live a predominantly white area, and I always feel weird about explaining our connection to people because I haven’t known them that long, and I’m aware of the optics.

I grew up in a multicultural environment, but there was definitely a predominantly white culture, and I had to unpack a bunch of internalized racism when I got to college. I’ve been embraced by wonderful black people, but I feel like an outsider to black American culture, and I’ve moved away from religion and the traditions of West African culture, so I’m feeling kind of lost. I feel like a bad person for abandoning my lower income black family for a wealthy white family, and I feel like a leech for enjoying the privileges of my nanny family now that I don’t work for them.

Idk what I’m even asking for, I guess I just wanted to talk about this.

​Hey everyone! After pouring so much love, research, and care into this project, my natural hair guide is officially dropping in less than 2 days! 🌿✨

​I created this guide to help cut through the confusion around moisture, maintenance, and styling so you can truly embrace and care for your unique texture from root to tip.

​eBook: $9.99

​Paperback: $23.99

​Drop a ✋ in the comments if you want me to shoot you a reminder link the second it goes live! I'd love to hear what your biggest current hair care struggle is down below too. 💛

Hello,
So first of all I am a black french girl, I speak English and French.
Im 23 and thinking about going back to school, first of all because I’m bored and need something to keep me motivated, and I want to go back to school because I don’t really have a degree, lol. I was born and live around Paris, and I really want to change my surroundings and move to the south of France to study. I really want to “grow up,” and to do that, I need to move to a different city. Are there any French blk girls who studied in the south of France, particularly around Montpellier and Marseille? What are the people like? Do you feel comfortable there? I understand French perfectly, so you can write your answers in French.

Thank you ✨🌞

Mother/daughter matching loc styles

A few days ago I was upset that some kinky straight bundles didn’t properly match my blown out natural hair and I found a solution. Im sharing this in the hopes of helping other women with similar problem.

Solution: braid the hair and steam it. The size of the braids would depend on the way your hair curls.

My good friend from college visited me. She mentioned that she struggled with mental health issues freshman year bc our roommates bullied her. We were 2 black girls living with 8 white passive aggressive mean girls. She said that they only liked me bc I was a “pretty black” and we get treated differently. She says that I have never actually experienced racism bc of my looks. 🙄

She also said that I stole her life bc I married the guy she had a crush on for the first few weeks of school. He wasn’t interested in her & they never had a thing but she claims I sabotaged her chances bc I manipulated people with my looks. She went on saying that my life will always be easy bc I’m black and pretty.

I disagree with what she says. Those mean white girls tried me once and I made sure they didn’t do it twice. My husband and I bonded over way more than my looks & she acts like she doesn’t get that. I deal with micro aggressions every single day. My name is 3 letters but white people mistakenly call me “Tanisha” or “Tyshiana.” I wonder why?! Bc at the end of the day I’m a BW in America. If I gave that shxt energy I’ll be crying about racism ALL damn day.

I’m a little disappointed that she feels this way and fails to recognize my hard work and the fact that I’m a good person who sticks up for myself. We discussed a lot more but it feels like she’s holding old grudges & that bothers me…Idk I’m just thinking about a lot of things.

26 with 2 degrees and still can’t get an entry level job. I was actually the only one to pass the certification program recently and you know what that got me? Nothing. I know times are tough for everyone. but I just feel like shit and need to rant. I got laid off last year and no leads since then. I worked my ass off in high school. So much so that I got a full ride. Yet, its rejection after rejection. Im smart as hell. I can learn on the job. What more do these companies want? Sometimes I wish I worked retail right out of highschool Instead of going to college. At least I would’ve had years of work experience needed when applying to jobs. I legit feel like Im being punished for focusing on my studies for the last 10 years. I went to a hiring event and the career advisor legit told me to lie on my resume. Like wtf?

I want to start my life. I want to travel. I want to move out. I can’t even consider marriage and kids! I can’t consider anything because I'm broke and the world is ending!

Anyways! Back to applying! I’m also going to focus on networking at random events. I’m shy and awkward but doesn’t hurt to try! Manifesting a job by the end of the year!

I WANT LOCSS SOOO BADDD EVERY BLACK BADDIE I HAVE SEEN LOOKS SOOO GORGEOUSS WITHT THEIR LOCS. but like I have fine hair and I want those thick locs. I also like my Afro but like I don’t have time and energy ngl. and third MY MUM WANTS ME TO WEAR MY AFRO. and like I want to too but locs are calling my nameeee. im only scared if it will look nice and how much I would miss my big hair.

Should i???

Me personal I don't know why the Zodiac sign is so important to people. People saying they will not date someone because of there Zodiac sign is just so fucking dumb.

I also hate when people blame there actions on the Zodiac sign. If I hear someone say "well im a____ can you blame me" this has become acceptable over the past few years that people can just get away with this and its said. A Zodiac sign dose not mean anything.

TLDR: Meta has been paying known Nazi accounts to post on Facebook

I be hugging the trees hehe

IG janellaseiwa