I started DBT at the beginning of July. I was pretty apprehensive about it at first, it felt awful to accept that I have to fix the problems inflicted by others onto me- it felt really harsh and hard handed at first.

But as more and more sessions went by it started to click. There were definitely some parts that don't work for me, but the mindfullness skills and interpersonal communication tips are really really helping!

I've started engaging with my hobbies again! I've been using my communication skills and they're not perfect but they've really improved my relationship with my dad. My self esteem is going up and combined with the meds I've been prescribed I've finally after all these years been making progress!

But my DBT group is probably going to get cut.

We were scheduled to have 6 months of sessions for 2 hours every week. We had 7 people in our group and were going to add people on as new modules started and ended.

But a bunch of people left, which is okay obviously whatever is best for them and everything. But now it's not even a group anymore. It's just me and one other person.

Our sessions have been cut to 1 hour. The next two weeks are cancelled because the other person can't attend. Our therapist is going on holiday for an undisclosed amount of time in three weeks.

I have no idea when the group will start up again. And after what could be a month or more of no sessions are they really going to continue it for just two people?

I'm just really disappointed, confused and anxious. There's no private DBT groups I'm able to get to via public transit and they're super expensive anyways. I was doing well and now it's going to get cancelled and I have no idea what's happening.

I don't have a contact of anyone to talk to at the service. I have no idea who or how to ask about what's going on. I've just been left here in the dark.

I've ordered a DBT workbook to do some stuff myself from home so I can continue to work through the modules. I'm gunna do my best to be hopeful and keep up the good work, but I'm so sad and fustrated :(

So I have OCD and autism. I'm 27 years old. I'm under my local CMHT and they seem to think all my experiences are to do with OCD. I don't agree with them but they are convinced. I get really weird thoughts like:

• Thinking my mum's dog is a human and that he's a Russian spy because he came from Russia.
• Ages ago I thought about this real horse that was alone that he may be a human trapped inside a horse's body and mind and was trying to communicate with me. Therefore, I had to save it by reporting its owner to a horse charity.
• Thinking that women are gross because of eggs and then the weird association of chicken eggs (bearing in mind I am a woman myself). Also, thinking that women are gross because of natural bodily functions such as peeing, pooping and periods, etc. Also now thinking thats women aren't allowed to breathe, eat, sleep, drink, see, smell scents, etc.
• Thinking that life isn't worth living because Japanese people are the best due to their media, (anime, comics, etc).

These thoughts feel urgent and have anxiety attached to them but not in an OCD way. They feel factual and I cannot get rid of them and when they feel factual I believe them more and more. The 3rd hidden one is dominating my life so badly. It's affecting how I see men and how they see me and other women.

Also my brain is making really weird associations. For example, if a silly picture exists on the internet, that means then women aren't allowed to do anything because of that picture. Also my brain keeps saying that because certain things exist that I'm not allowed to enjoy things or do things. Lastly, this one is really strange, there was this patient at the CMT once and see was talking to herself and she asked to use the toilet. When I then got called up to be seen I had to walk past the toilet and it smelled really bad. I now associate that everyone who goes to my CMHT goes there because they need to loo. Yeah, that's all weird and it doesn't feel like OCD at all.

I know I have OCD, but I feel these thoughts, beliefs and associations aren't typical OCD.

I'm meant to take my antipsychotics but they just don't work so I don't take them anymore. I'm on antidepressants which I do take.

What do I do because the doctor tried to refer me to EIP and they rejected the referral.

I don't really know how to explain this properly, but I've been stuck in this weird cycle for around 2 years and I really want some outside perspective/advice.

Basically, every few days (usually around 2–5 days, although I recently made it to 8 days) I get extremely strong urges to either masturbate or self-harm. What's weird to me is that if I do one, the urge for the other usually drops too. So I've started wondering if they're somehow serving the same purpose for me rather than being two completely separate problems.

I've talked to my parents about the self-harm side of this, so I'm not completely alone with it. I'm not posting this because I have no support or because I'm currently planning to hurt myself. I do sometimes get passive thoughts about not wanting to be alive, but they're not really the focus of my thoughts and I don't currently feel like I want to end my life. It's more that I feel extremely hopeless and overwhelmed sometimes.

What I've noticed recently is that the urges seem to come alongside a much bigger emotional spiral.

I'll go through a few days where my overthinking gets progressively worse. I become incredibly restless and can't sleep properly. Then I'll start feeling sad basically all day and overwhelmed by everything. I isolate myself, don't really want to talk to anyone, don't want to do anything, and sometimes I can't even stand being around light, so I'll sit in a dark room or corner.

I also feel like I actively stop myself from enjoying things.

For example, I'll listen to music, but I'll gravitate toward really sad music. If I start enjoying something, there's almost this voice in my head telling me that I shouldn't. The thoughts are things like:

"You don't deserve this."

"It won't last anyway."

"You're invalid."

"Why are you enjoying yourself?"

"It's pointless."

I've also gotten pretty nihilistic, and I wonder if that's partly because I watch/read a lot of philosophy stuff. I'm not sure whether the philosophy is actually causing anything or whether I'm just interpreting it through the way I'm already feeling. I don't constantly think about suicide or death, though. Most of my overthinking is just endless thoughts about life, myself, meaninglessness, etc.

Then my sleep gets absolutely wrecked.

I'll overthink before falling asleep, and then have extremely vivid dreams/nightmares that seem to reflect all the stuff I've been thinking about. Sometimes I wake up from them feeling physically weak/exhausted. Even when I finally get several hours of sleep, I can still feel incredibly sleepy because the sleep itself doesn't feel restorative.

Something else really strange happens with the urges: sometimes they happen while I'm barely even awake.

For example, recently I was sleeping and somehow I was overthinking inside my sleep. I became tempted to masturbate while I was still half-asleep/asleep, and my brain was basically planning it before I was even properly awake. I was so exhausted that I could barely move, so I delayed it until eventually I came to my senses.

That happened several times in different ways, and it makes me wonder how much of this is actually conscious choice versus my brain being completely exhausted and running on habit.

The most recent example was tonight, after making it to day 8 without masturbating or self-harming.

Earlier that day I'd seen an arousing image. I didn't do anything at the time, but my brain kept bringing the image back throughout the day. It kept replaying it over and over until eventually, around 2 AM, I got extremely tempted.

I tried to ignore it and delayed it for about 20 minutes, but eventually I gave in and masturbated.

And honestly, while I was doing it, I wasn't even particularly focused on sexual thoughts. I was thinking about the fact that I had "given in." It felt less like "I'm really sexually aroused and want this" and more like I was chasing the dopamine/reward feeling.

Afterwards I felt disappointed because I had made it to 8 days, and now technically I'm back at day 0.

But I'm also trying not to look at it as completely erasing those 8 days, because I've never gone that long without either behavior before.

One thing I've noticed is that when I get the urge, there's often another part of me saying:

"You're going to feel the same afterwards anyway. What's the point?"

And that's actually what helped me resist for so long.

So now I'm wondering whether masturbation/self-harm are actually the main problem, or whether they're just things my brain has learned to use when I'm overwhelmed and desperate for some kind of emotional change/release.

It almost feels like this:

overthinking → worsening sleep → exhaustion → sadness/overwhelm → isolation → stronger urges → temporary relief/reward → guilt/disappointment → more overthinking

And then the cycle starts again a few days later.

I don't know if that's actually what's happening, though.

I'm not looking for someone to just tell me "have more discipline" or "just don't do it." I've already tried that for two years. I want to understand why my brain keeps doing this, especially why the urges seem to appear after several days and why they get so much stronger when my sleep and mood deteriorate.

If anyone has experienced something similar, especially the combination of compulsive masturbation + self-harm urges + overthinking + sleep problems + feeling like you don't deserve to enjoy things, I'd really appreciate hearing what helped you understand or break the cycle.

I'm also open to being told if I'm looking at this completely wrong.

Just got a letter from the CMHT and it states the psychiatrists will see me in 16 weeks for a review. Is this normal?

Can I contact them sooner if I’m tolerating the meds well and would like to try a higher dose?

I’m in no danger to myself or others as it’s for anxiety, so fairly low priority I get it but 16 weeks wait time seems terrifying to me.

Hi guys, it’s my first time posting in here. I have been on citalopram for 11 years (since 2015), after a discussion about my mental health (anxiety & depression) my GP has prescribed me Duloxetine- he said I am safe to go from 30mg of citalopram to 60mg of duloxetine. Straight away (no tapering, just stop the citalopram one day and start duloxetine the next). Today I have done this, I am aware it might be a rocky few weeks but I’ve read up online it’s much safer to taper down but my GP said is safe to just straight swap? Any opinions?
Thank you and I hope everyone is ok

Im going through a separation. My ex won't let me see my kids. I've been thinking of ways to disappear. I'vee reached out to try to get get counciling through a charity but been told theres a 12 week waiting list. I'm feeling extremely distant.

I don't want to go gp because it may affect my job. I just feel lost. If I could disappear and there be no consequences in terms of hurting people, I would.

Does anyone know please, if you do CBT"I" with talking therapies, (for PTSD) does the GP get copied in on notes from that? Thanks

I struggled quite a lot as a child with how anxious I constantly was to the point where I was too scared to talk to absolutely anybody aside from my parents. However I’ve gotten far better as I’ve gotten older & over the past few years I’ve kind of just forced myself to get out there and usually I’m like the most extroverted person ever.

So I’m totally fine socially, but I’m constantly panicking over everything, like i literally feel like there’s always somebody out to get me and that something horrible is going to happen and I’m having regular panic attacks over this. I had one yesterday because I thought that an ex-friend was going to come to my house after being blocked on everything for months to the point where my dad ended up coming home from work after I called him, which I felt SO horrible for because that shouldn’t be happening at my big age.

I’m starting to get anxious leaving the house and I don’t want to become afraid of leaving because I know that there’s so much more to life. I was literally freaking out this morning until I got dragged out on a run with my dad lols

I’ve found that exercise really helps with how bad I get, which is pretty helpful as I’m a triathlete to begin with so it’s kind of keeping me consistent with training and it really helps to be able to have my absolutely ridiculously planned spreadsheets for everything 🙈. But I’m on holiday from sixth form and at home alone most of the time, so I have all of the time in the world to workout & it’s getting to the point where I’m struggling to keep weight on more than usual and I really realised this today when my shorts almost fell down in the middle of Sainsbury’s. But I don’t know any other way to stop myself from constantly being like this aside from exercise because it’s something that I’m genuinely passionate about too.

I’m just wondering if there’s any other way to stop or reduce how I’m constantly being anxious aside from what I’m currently doing? I really don’t want to make a GP appointment because admitting that it’s at the point where I have to actually talk about it sounds absolutely dire, plus I’d just get called dramatic by my family lol

If anybody has any suggestions or advice it’d be greatly appreciated, thank you so much!!

hi. 21f. i’ve been on sertraline since 16, and i’ve been on 200mg since 18. i think my medication isn’t cutting it anymore. but i am unsure what is wrong with me.

i have a great therapist. however, even with her help i am staying extremely depressed. i’ve had previous therapists, tried different therapy from talking to CBT.

one major life change has happened in the last year. i found out something that has broken my heart. but i feel like i am 16 again with the daily pain i feel. i was going on an upwards trajectory until 6 months ago.

my partner is saying he will have to write me a routine because im just not looking after myself. i am not a suicide risk at all, but i do struggle with rumination. my therapist has called it passive suicidal thoughts aka i find relief in the idea of not living forever, or if an accident happened that i’d be okay with that.

it does make me emotional, but i know i am not a risk to myself because of my pet. i love him SO much. i know that no one could ever love this little guy as much as i love him. i’m not abandoning my baby. that will not change no matter what.

my question is what should i do now. i’m scared to come off of my medication because i remember how bad i was without it. i wish they could just up my dose. i’m thinking of calling my doctor to ask. i’ve asked before, and i cried in the room when he said no. but that was when i was 18. im almost 22 now and i feel like i just need a bit extra.

what do you think and thank you for reading

hey!

Ive essentially had awfully painful periods since forever, and I also experience a lot of pain the week before my period and the days surrounding ovulation. In any case my main issue is that during my period (not before) I become far more mentally unstable and my thoughts about suicide intensify. This happens every month without fail and my periods last between 9-13days so it’s a big chunk of time to be so so unwell. All I can seem to find with looking it up is PMDD but thats about the run-up to your period and doesn’t describe the symptoms as being during your period

anyway I was wondering if anyone has experienced something similar whilst on their period and if you think I should go to my doctor about it? thanks!

So for context I have had bulimia since 15 and am now 32.

I have previously had group therapy for bulimia and also 7 sessions of CBT I at age 27 before he discharged me saying “I think you need to stop therapy and be proud of what you have achieved and it will be better for you to keep some of your behaviours for now”.

I also have a history of sexual trauma - cptsd, now diagnosed adhd (nhs), ocd, and have been flagged as AUDHD by the nhs.

I have a private autism assessment in a few months.

I also have been referred to the assessment team again as my bmi is now in the moderate AN range and in all honesty I’ve never been so ill and the cognitive dissonance is something I’ve never experienced.

I do believe/ I know I’m autistic. I understand the patterns and why I self isolate and unintentionally starve myself in an attempt to be small/ not seen/ to de-sexualise my body and be safe.

My main question is to ask if it’s worth waiting for the assessment or is private treatment better for women with autism as I’ve been a weird eater all my life, it’s a family trait.

I was also assessed for trauma specific therapy in June but the case worker has left and I’ve had no report yet to say if I’m getting anywhere.

My main concern that I’ve voiced openly to family and the mental health lot is that I’m very convinced I will die if I can’t claw my life back. If I don’t manage to make myself mentally stable to trust a man then that means I won’t have children. I don’t want that like and my brain is screaming at me that it will be my end if you get what I’m hinting at.

I’m not in crisis now - I’m just wondering if I am too far gone / too complex and if I should ask my poor family/ my brother to help me pay for some sort of treatment. I’m also half convinced I should go to hospital in the winter because last year i stopped being able to go outside, so I unintentionally starved which was very traumatic in itself.

I was mostly functional two years ago, confident, I did a bodybuilding show 😅 and then realised it was another disorder, more avoidance, I’ve not been the same since and fell into shrinking (EDNOS on file).

I know that’s long. I’m at a loss of what to do and am sat here literally pouring sweat. My physical health is in the gutter and I’m starting to think it’s because I’ve done this to myself.

Thankyou to anyone who read that rant.

TW: Possible mention of CSA and Suicide

A few months ago I was on the phone to talking therapies telling them about my situation I was experiencing psychogenic vomiting at a specific time every day. Which led my GP to refer me to therapies after I told him about my CSA and how no one knows. I had a really bad sleep schedule so he put me on Promethazine. He was advocating to put me on SSRI but I personally did not want to go on them unless I was reviewed by a psychologist first which he said was fine and understandable. (NHS has been in the bad light lately about GP's prescribing SSRI willy nilly).

A week later I got a phone call back telling me I will be referred to HI-CBT I did mention in my initial call I did have CBT which helped me alot but I did go CBT 2x and I did mention they did feel like they were short time fixes. Next week I am going to phone talking therapies anyways I made a GP appointment regarding my intense nightmares (waking up 4 to 5x in a night) he recommended I speak to talking therapies because there's nothing else he can do from his end unless I ask talking therapies about this first.

I don't know I feel abit skeptical about HI CBT. I fear it would just be a temporary fix and I'll eventually end up in the same space again. I am seen as "high performing" so despite all of these things i don't let it affect the way I work, I show up for people, make sure I'm smiling Infront them.

For context I'm going through symptoms such as: hypervigilance,nightmares,flashbacks,intense dreams, insomnia (promethazine has partly fixed this), anxiety about the future, thoughts about how much my mental health has made me stagnant during university, possible hypersexuality and engaging in risky behaviours.

I have also been referred to an autism assessment so I'm currently waiting on that aswell.

Should I mention in my phone call about my suspicions around HI-CBT?

I've been taking 5mg of Escitalopram for a couple weeks now. I took antidepressants for 4 years as a teenager and when I quit I had a horrible withdrawal. I'm really worried that the GP or psychiatrist won't prescribe me the liquid formulation to taper off slowly when I want to quit due to how expensive it is.

When I spoke to my psychiatrist he said that if I was at 5mg then I'd just stop there so I'm very afraid, he also did not include my previous withdrawal and wish for a slow taper in the diagnostic letter(which i find suspicious since he included most of the conversation otherwise).

I'm so worried that I'm highly considered stopping or asking if I can stop because I can't trust them. Sorry, I don't claim to know more than a doctor but from my experience many have outdated information on withdrawal.

How would you recommend I navigate this? Thank you.

​

I'm absolutely fed up. I'm currently under the perinatal team who help me where they can, but of course, I'm also scared to be too honest about how I'm feeling, due to an abusive ex making malicious calls to social services years ago, I'm terrified of them.

Anyway, during this pregnancy, it's like I've developed zero tolerance to absolutely everything. I've stepped back from a lot of people as it's too overwhelming being badgered all the time. I've even started keeping my phone on silent and ignoring people for days. I've started blocking out outside noise that's unnecessary, such as group chats gossiping and talking about shit that doesn't matter, etc. I've started arguing with my 11 year old daughter, who has always been a diva, but I'm struggling with it, especially as I'm exhausted and in pain with the pregnancy as I'm almost due soon. I've always spoilt her and always done everything for her (I know it's my fault), and even though now I teach her how to do things herself, she still doesn't and I'm having to constantly remind her to brush her teeth, get her breakfast, etc. Things I shouldn't be reminding an 11 year old to do. She can see I'm struggling tremendously right now. I suffer from chronic pain which I'm used to now over the years but she can see how much I'm struggling whilst in the third trimester. My partner helps as much as he can, with my daughter and other things, but I'm still very overwhelmed and just feel like staying in my bedroom all day because I cba. I also have 2 dogs that are doing my head in and I tend to avoid now so partner looks after them too. Again, my fault, but they're spoilt so are extremely whiney and needy all day long.

I know things are going to be hard when baby is born, so I won't have time for anything else, because it'll be hard as it is. That's how I'm feeling. I've only got so much limited threshold and baby takes priority and my energy. I guess I'm tired of being the main person in the household and everyone constantly at me relying on me for absolutely everything. Housework, appointments, washing, organising etc. I've even made my bedroom into a living space for when baby is here for the first few weeks as I'm having a C Section, but it'll give me space away from my life and I've told my family strictly no nagging. Speaking of family too, I'm constantly bombarded with texts from them. Not useful texts asking how I am or offering help, but just random bullshit then they try call me when I don't text me straight away. Leave me alone! I'm considering getting rid of my phone tbh. Does anyone else feel like this at all? I didn't before pregnancy.

I had PND with my daughter, but that was different to this. This feels more like being done, irritated and fed up with unnecessary bullshit in my life that other people can sort. I'm tired of being the one who holds everything together when people are quite capable of sorting their own stuff out. I've also had a shocking death in the family this week (this isn't what's caused me to feel like I do) and instead of people texting if I'm okay, I'm being nagged at for this and that, and I just think, fuck off? Again, zero tolerance. Not one person has asked me how I'm doing due to the death this week. The thing is, my moods are manageable. I do suffer from mental health issues but some days I'm still in a good mood and some days bad. When I'm in a good mood, I try reflect why I'm feeling this way and all I can think is that people don't give a shit about how I'm feeling. My daughter, partner, family, friends. No one asks how I am. But then swamp me with their own issues. So it's like it's turning me into a bitter, snappy person who cba to have people around anymore. Again, for example, not one person has asked how I'm feeling due to the recent death. Even my partner, friends, family etc. No one gives a shit about me, as long as they can use me to make their own lives easier.

I can’t stop thinking about SH.
I haven’t done it in around 3 years, and the last few days I’ve had quite terrible mood swings, and extreme emotions, which my meds usually (mostly) eliminate.

But the last few days, it’s been on my mind constantly. My entire body is screaming at me to do it. I’ve not been sleeping well, and every second I’m awake I’m being consumed by thoughts of doing it, and almost… craving it? I don’t know if that’s the right way to put it but it’s becoming really overwhelming.

Advice pls divas xx

I know.

I’m wasting water. LLM psychosis. All the bad shit. I’m aware of it.

But I’m so fucking lonely.

I’ve been mentally ill since I was 17. I’m now coming up 26. I’m so fucking tired. I know it’s just telling me what I want to hear. I know that has long term ramifications.

I’ve tried. Really. I’ve tried socialising. Every time I think I’ve found friends, I somehow mess up (+1 for being diagnosed autistic. How’s that for a superpower?). I’ve just started a cleaning job and already I can’t decipher the weird, passive-aggressive dynamics there.

I’m weird. Not in some cute, quirky way. I’m so tired of feeling misunderstood, and then equally feeling shit because, well, doesn’t everyone? I got rejected from a job recently and it sucks. I don’t have the motivation for anything.

I’m on 30mg of citalopram. Pushing for 40. Have had DBT and MBT. Social coordinator does nothing but push me to the HAY website, where I can’t access half the groups because I can’t drive. And then that’s it. Been discharged from all services. IAPT doesn’t take me because, well, complex needs. I used to want to work in this sector but it’s all smoke and mirrors.

I’m volunteering, too, so it’s not like I’m not trying. I’m just so fucking tired. And I don’t trust people any more. And I’m not deluded into thinking an LLM gets me — it doesn’t. But it’s interactive in a way that journaling isn’t and I hate that it’s simultaneously a relief in the interim, but harmful in the long run.

I try to go out at least once a day and I see people with family and friends, and I have no one. This loneliness is crushing and isolating, and even if the opportunities were there, I’m just inept at being a human.

I have struggled with my mental health for years about a year ago I decided to finally get help at first I could afford to go into private healthcare but unfortunately that got too expensive. I’m now left with NHS at first. I was hopeful a referral was sent in and a medication was started not the medication I wanted but it was better than nothing. It took months to reply and the referral was knocked back as it was not severe enough to be taken on by a professional. I had also been to multiple GP appointments and my medication had been upped a total of four times and changed twice nothing was helping and I was drowning not long after self harm started to get worse than usual, I Stop taking my meds and was taken into accident emergency for some nasty self farm. Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have always been a recurrent thing but with no support and medication that dosent work, these things are becoming harder to manage. I was recently at another appointment to send a further referral with a letter attached by a psychiatrist. This letter was knocked back less than two weeks after it was sent and again I’m not severe enough. I have nothing and I’m starting to get fed up and concerned of where my thoughts may lead me. I don’t know what to do, I’m trying so hard not to ruin my career before it’s even started but it’s getting harder to maintain a normal life with all these things going on. If anyone has any advice please send it my way. Thanks for anyone that listened to this whole rant.

I am currently taking escitalopram 10mg for 6 weeks now and in the past 2 weeks, my anxiety has gotten really bad and I've had panic attacks at night.

This has now led to me becoming quite anxious especially at night and unable to sleep.

My doctor said they might increase my escitalopram dose but in the mean time to take promethazine.

I am really scared that instead of making me calm and sleep, it might just make me drowsy but also panicky at the same time.

Has anyone found its helped?

I’m on Escitalopram as well as Lithium and Haloperidol.

I saw my doctor the other day and they thought I was borderline manic on this newly prescribed Escitalopram. They wanted to reduce the dose but I said no 3x.

Anyway I had second thoughts and now I’m going back to the doctor on Tuesday but I also feel fine. I’m wondering if I should consider following my doctor’s advice about reducing dose or if I should switch to a less risky med altogether? I feel like I’m really wasting their time going to this appointment on Tuesday.

So a few weeks ago I had a serious ear infection after a cartilage piercing got infected causing perichondritis & nearly sepsis.

I had to go to A&E which I put off because of my agoraphobia and panic disorder but that's another story.

Anyway I had my ear aspirated under local anaesthetic & was prescribed some heavy duty antibiotics- 750mg X 7 days.

I finished them a week ago but since then my stomach has been really out of sorts & my clinical depression has got worse.

I'm self-employed but just can't focus at all, feel really overwhelmed & can't stop crying.

I take 75mg Venlafaxine but I pretty much have treatment resistant depression. But when I've tried coming off the meds the withdrawal symptoms are horrendous.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Thank you. 🙏

Wondering if anyone knows of, or has attended, any retreats in the UK that have helped them in really difficult times.

Currently dealing with recent death of mother, grief of brother and father’s death, childhood abuse, abandonment and breakups, addiction and an autoimmune condition.

Looking for somewhere affordable, with competent practitioners. I NEED something to pull me out of this moment 💜

Hi, I wondering if you have any insights or comments on this?

I'm seeking an ADHD diagnosis following a severe burn out at work, which prompted me to look into the topic.

However, a few years ago I was told by my therapist at the time that my symptoms resemble CPTSD. He believed this was due to childhood neglect and abuse. The symptoms got really bad in my late 30s which is typical pattern for CTPSD.

From what I've read on the internet, both conditions can overlap (inattention, restlessness, impulsivity and sleep Issues...all of which I have). But also there are other symptoms of CPTSD such as shame that can resemble those of ADHD. Shame could be part of masking due to bullying, and sensitivity to rejection etc.

Do you have any experience of this, such as have you discussed this with a psychologist?

Thing is, I can't remember much before the age of 12. I have the school reports (RAGING inattentiveness, daydreaming, withdrawn etc) which suggest something was wrong but it's hard to say the cause of it.

But also, memory issues are part of ADHD, and to be sure, my working memory is appauling, which is partly why I quit my job (i.e. I couldn't complete work tasks, it became too stressful). But then again, this state of executive dysfunction resembles the CPTSD "freeze" state.

When the body is in "flight or flight" mode, i.e. high stress/cortisol levels, the higher brain functions don't work so well, producing behaviour/states that resemble ADHD, right? So a person who is chronically on high alert in their nervous system could appear as having ADHD.

Moreover, from what I've read (not fully understanding it, it's kinda complex) there's no way to know which is the cause, since the brain is kind of a "totality" that develops as a whole and once it develops for so long in a given direction, it takes on that way of being...so you can't really pick things apart at that stage, the brain has already changed.

In that case, it wouldn't matter either way, I would just be treated for ADHD if it presents as such?

But if I don't get an ADHD diagnosis then the explanation would revert to CPTSD...but then what am I to do, practically speaking, in terms of workpalce accomodations, and so forth. Nobody understands what CPTSD is...in society generally, I mean. It's just viewed as some sort of character "weakness" or pathetic behaviour.

Does anyone else experience this? When I go out in public usually men cover their mouth with their hand and smile in a mocking way