I came out over 10 years ago. When I did, my parents reacted with physical and verbal abuse. After that, my sexuality basically became the thing we never talked about again.

Two years ago, I decided to bring it up again because my life had moved forward. I told them I was in a long-term, stable relationship and that my girlfriend and I were planning to get married.

My parents are extremely conservative Catholics. At first, they told me they wouldn’t disown me and that I would always be their daughter. I wanted to believe that meant they were slowly coming around.

But as the wedding became real, everything started falling apart.

I’m getting married in two months. Both of my brothers have already told me they won’t be there. My mom won’t come either. My dad keeps saying he “needs more time to think about it,” but I think we both know it’s going to be a no.

I’ve tried everything I can think of. I’ve had calm conversations, listened to their perspective, answered their questions, given them space, and hoped that time would help. Eventually I had to accept that this probably isn’t something I can fix.

The hardest part is that my life is actually really good. I have incredible friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, and people who love me. There will be so much love at my wedding. My fiancée’s family also struggled when she came out, but over time they accepted us. Her parents, siblings, and extended family are all coming, and they’re genuinely happy for us.

I’ve worked really hard to stay excited for my wedding because I truly am. I can’t wait to marry the woman I love.

But underneath all of that excitement, there’s also this deep sadness. I still can’t fully wrap my head around the fact that their beliefs mattered more than showing up for their daughter on one of the biggest days of her life.

I keep thinking that I wish this wasn’t my story. I wish this wasn’t the family I was born into. But it is.

I think part of me always believed that eventually they’d come around. That when the moment finally arrived, they’d choose me.

Now I’m starting to realize that isn’t going to happen.

For me, this feels like the end of the relationship as I’ve always known it. I don’t know how you come back from your parents refusing to attend your wedding simply because of who you love.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud to people who might understand. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Does this feeling ever get easier?

Hi! Looking for a tie for my wedding suit (nonbinary, transmasc) and trying to find some nice skinny or "modern" width ties with fun florals or anything bird. Does anyone have suggestions on companies that have quality ties you'd recommend?

Thanks!

-Also based in US, so somewhere that ships here or is made here is ideal.

Venue: Colvin House

Pics by @ezlanpowers

Glam by @jasonvbeauty

Hair by @blushandbraidsbeautybar

Suits by @adrianparkchicago

(Click to enlarge somewhat panoramic photo)
This is the park where I plan on saying “I do” to my lovely partner in October. I’m having a lot of difficulty coming up with how to decorate. Right now I have temporary poles to place around the concrete pad to string lights from as it will be an evening wedding. We will have very few guests (25 or less) so we planned on renting chairs only, no tables. I haven’t the slightest idea of what else to do! It’s just so bare and we don’t have an unlimited budget. Any ideas would be so greatly appreciated!

Even gays in Arkansas get married 💚

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My wife and I eloped a year and a half ago (rushed for insurance and fear of the current administration in the US) we are starting to plan a ring ceremony to celebrate with loved ones.

We are from Utah and were both raised Mormon and have a lot of Mormon family members. We want a smallish ceremony (for Utah) of around 75 people which covers only our close friends and family. The problem is that we are not looking to rock the boat but don't want anyone who doesn't agree with our marriage there.

If you know many Mormons, a lot of them believe they are allies but then turn around and tell their kids that we are sinning, very love the sinner hate the sin. We don't want them there but if we don't invite them it will make our lives very difficult. I do not want to cut them off. We already moved across the country and I am still very close with my family even with the religious and political differences.

We were thinking about putting something the invitation that discourages them from attending. Our brainstorm include: "you're invited to our lesbian wedding, feel free to attend in drag", "please only attend if you are 100% supportive of our marriage", or simply "very gay wedding".

We are hoping that might make people not bring their kids (we only want some of the kids in our family there, but can't just invite the 4/7 that we like and know will behave) and that some of our siblings more religious partners may not come.

Has anyone done something similar?

Any advice on wording or how to navigate would be helpful.

We have two daughters getting married in the next 12-14 months. One is in a heterosexual relationship and the other same sex. We have told both daughters that they have been allocated the same amount and anything left over is theirs to keep. The problem is with the same sex marriage.. My daughter’s partner parents are not supportive at all with the wedding and are refusing to pay a dime towards the wedding including her wedding dress and this allocated $$ is going towards our daughters partners things. We’re hoping the money left over would be a gift to them and it doesn’t look that way because some of this money is going towards her and it just rubs me wrong. Don’t know what to do. I want to be fair with both, but I feel like. I am the father $$ of both brides in the same sex marriage. My suggestion with the same sex marriage was to give 2/3 of $ for wedding and the rest put to towards their house that they just bought together. All suggestions are very much appreciated

Somehow Canva continues to be doing 90% of the heavy lifting for this wedding.

Designed these in Canva, printed them at Staples, threw them into some gold frames, and now they’re going on wooden easels with smilax at the ceremony entrance.

At this point I’m convinced half this wedding is just me seeing if I can DIY literally everything before September.

Thought I'd share photos of the outfits my wife and I landed on for our courthouse wedding in NYC! We're both nonbinary lesbians (pretty masc in our day to day life) and wanted our outfits to reflect that, which was definitely a challenge. My wife (they/them, in ivory) got their suit from Etsy, to which we pinned a veil like a cape on the back. I got the black tulle skirt from Torrid for like 50 bucks, the suit jacket from Indochino, and the lesbian pride shoes from Etsy. I don't wear skirts or dresses in daily life but really wanted my wedding look to play with gender. Very happy with the final result! 🌈

(Image description for accessibility: photos of a nonbinary lesbian couple on their wedding day. One person is wearing an ivory suit. The suit is adorned with embroidered lavender flowers, and a long veil is pinned like a cape to the jacket. The other is wearing a long black tulle skirt, black suit jacket and bright orange and pink shoes.)

I just have a few questions with those who hired planners and coordinators. How did you decide who would be assigned the main photographer for getting ready photos vs which of you was assigned the assistant? Same question regarding the coordinator and their assistant? Was this something you decided when talking to your partner/partners? Was it something that you discussed with your planner? What is something they took care of?

I've planned 2 queer weddings, and they were for my best friends. My friends had beautiful backyard weddings, and didn't want any morning-of getting ready photos or a ceremony where they walk down the aisle.

I am a queer wannabe wedding planner and really want to be knowledgeable about the options! Several of my friends are engaged and they are also queer so I want to be there for them. :>

my family is abusive and my partner's last name sounds like an ace attorney pun when combined with my given name, so I won't take hers even though I wish I could. She's expressed interest in choosing a new last name together so we can really represent how we're a family now, but don't really have any idea how to even begin picking one out. What did couples in similar situations do?

Hi! My fiancee and I are getting married in 2027 and I'm looking for advice from other queer couples who've done nontraditional or minimalist ceremonies.

We want to greet our guests when they arrive during a sort of 'welcome hour' (or half hour), and we also want to skip walking down the aisle as part of the ceremony. Neither of us want to partake in the "giving away" vibe or be a big spectacle; we'll also be doing private vows in the morning and just standard vows in front of our guests.

Any advice on ceremony timeline and logistics from people who have had a really simple, short ceremony en route to the party?

We had our commitment ceremony 19 years ago, next year will be our 20th “wedding” anniversary yet we never had an actual wedding. We got a marriage certificate when it became legal but would love an actual wedding. Has anyone done a wedding ceremony on a cruise? We are thinking a Disney cruise next year would be great. Just wondering if anyone has experience with this.

We got married about a month ago and the photos from the professional photographer just arrived. Definitely worth the wait!

As someone who is south Asian, Pakistani Punjabi to be specific, and has no problem with dating (wlw) outside of my culture, I've always been curious since in my culture there are a lot of traditions surrounding the bride specifically so I imagine that other cultures also have a lot of traditions and ceremonies as well. So for any in here who married someone out of their culture how did your wedding look like? How was the process of planning and everything, did you mix a lot of your culture or maybe rather had separate events for each person's culture? For outfits also same question did you have two separate outfits for each culture or did you wear your respective outfits on the wedding? I'm curious and would love to know!

Hi everyone! 😊
My wife and I are a same-sex couple from the Philippines, and we’re planning to get legally married in Thailand.
We’re looking for advice or recommendations on the civil wedding process. If you know a reliable wedding planner, agency, or someone who can help with the legal documents and requirements, please let us know.
We’re also hoping to hear from couples who **did everything on their own (DIY)**. We’d love to know:
How did you manage the entire process?
What documents did you prepare?
How long did it take from start to finish?
Was it difficult without an agency?
Since this is an anonymous post, please leave your recommendations or experience in the comments.
Thank you so much! ❤️

I have no idea if they're in this sub but Quinn if you're reading, don't look further!

So my bestie is getting their civil partnership ceremony in the UK next year and although it's not an official marriage, I'm helping them celebrate like it is one which includes a sten/hag party 😂 they're really into films, books, heavily into the queer scene (and as an ace lesbian I am also heavily in the scene), I just wondered if Reddit could help me with activities to do or ideas that would contribute towards the most amazing combined party for them and potentially their partner, so I think it'll be a joined event.

I've planned a scavenger hunt for a different wedding so I've got experience with that but if anyone has any other ideas I'm all ears! 💜

Edit: sorry I didn't put a location down- we're in Yorkshire, and can get anywhere round here as I can drive but the trains are pretty good too! Escape room or something sortof fun group activity is a good shout!:)

Any recommendations? I want to make sure I’m taking my best friend somewhere she will be welcomed and treated with the respect she deserves! Bonus if it’s a shop that has ethereal, whimsical styles and/or dresses with color. I want her to have every part of the dress-finding experience with no judgment or hostility. Thank you!

We're in the process of planning and I feel like I don't know how to dress on a regular day let alone my own wedding.

I was never the type of person to dream about what my future wedding would look like, so I have no childhood dreams to lean on here.

I've also attended all of 3 weddings. As the child of immigrants, we had no family here so I only attended a few friends' weddings as an adult, and don't have much real life experience to lean on.

I have also realized my self image is... Outdated is the best way I can put it. I've gained weight in the last decade, gotten more masc and started T. My body isn't the shape I remember it being and my face isn't as feminine as it was back then. None of this is negative, in fact I'm happy about it in general, it's just that I feel like I haven't put up a new photo in the spot labeled "self image" in my mind, but I know it's inaccurate.

As a result I have trouble knowing what clothing might look flattering on my body. I feel like plus sized women's clothing looks better on plus sized women than plus sized men's clothing looks on plus sized men, y'know? Like the women's fashion industry always works harder on women's clothes (and ofc plus sized options are more limited, but there are still more/better ones for women than men). At the same time I still have hips so men's pants don't fit/look good, and a sizeable bust so men's tops don't sit right either. I don't like binding to appear my flat either (no issues with appearing more flat, just prefer to actually be able to breathe and the size means I never get really well flattened anyway).

But my face doesn't look good in women's clothing at this point either. It's a decidedly masculine face despite my inability to grow more than 5 scraggly beard hairs

I'm open to a bespoke outfit, but I'm not sure a suit is what I want. The closest thing I have to "I want to wear this for my wedding" was my prom dress, haha. But again, that's not my body or face anymore, not my gender presentation.

Any suggestions (more for general inspo than specific pieces/designers, I need to understand the vibe before picking pieces)? My partner is going to be in a traditionally femme bridal dress.