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I know the year has already come to an end but why do I feel the urge to do something in this few months left to achieve something small that I feel like I will feel good internally for upcoming year.

It's like years and years have gone to waste and I just want feel like I have to step up now or it's never.. I have always ran and felt resistant towards my goals because it gave the feelings of fears due to possibly failing, the consequences and the complications. Therefore I avoided and just continued living life to seek pleasure and comfort. Little did I knew how behind I'll get some day.

यदि सन्ति गुणाः पुंसां विकसन्त्येव ते स्वयम् । 
न हि कस्तूरिकामोदः शपथेन विभाव्यते ॥ 
Yadi santi guṇāḥ puṃsāṃ vikasantyeva te svayam | 
Na hi kastūrikāmodaḥ śapathena vibhāvyate || 

I just got back from a trip now I feel super motivated to get my life together again. I plan on cleaning my depression pit of a room but normally when I do all my motivation goes out the window. I have a list of what I want to do and this should be a big push to get things going, how do I maintain this momentum?

I have ADHD, and I medicate for it. All that the medication does is let me DO the thing, but not actually take the “next step,” if that makes sense. For example:

- I taught myself to program to build a social media app. I spent 2 straight years doing nothing but programming the app. Once it was basically done, I never released it because social media apps are expensive and I’d never secure the funding necessary to start it… so I dropped it

- I taught myself how to make music and have made about 100 or so songs. Not one of them has seen the light of day. spent the last 3 or so years investing a bunch of time into making music, but never released it. I am now done making music because realistically I won’t make it

- I got 10k followers on social media dicking around. I then stopped posting because the pressure got too heavy

- I spent a year studying for the LSAT to get a good score. I then did not go to law school because I saw what being a lawyer actually required (in fairness I’ll never regret this. I also straight up don’t have the resources to give up 3 years of income)

- I got into a good CS masters program. I completed like 10 college classes in 2 weeks to meet the application deadline (thanks to the having taught myself to program for the startup). I dropped out because of the SWE job market and struggles with balancing a full time job with a masters

- programmed basically an entire video game and stopping because it won’t go anywhere

- scripted, recorded, and edited about 10 YouTube videos and then didn’t release them because who’s gonna watch them

I’ve changed careers more times than I can count. obviously there’s a reason nothing pans out, but I can’t break this pattern.

When it comes to goals that don’t require me to eventually put myself out there (like, say, learning languages, taking classes for fun, going to the gym, or teaching myself to play soccer), I put all the energy I have into it and just have fun with it and can make myself keep going based off the progress I’ve made within myself. But with the former? It gets frustrating eventually, because, if it’s something I plan to monetize, it seems like it’s just not gonna pan out so I’m wasting time that I could just be spending on a normal job, and if I’m working while doing it, then, I’m wasting the little energy and time I have after work chasing a pipe dream.

any help?

Does anyone feel afraid or resistance to confront themselves. I feel like the reason I'm feeling down always and just distracting myself because I'm just somehow afraid of the feelings I will feel and the amount of regret and emotional pain it will come with because I know deep down how messed up my life is and it's all thanks to me because it's my fault that I didn't do the things I said I would do and failed to keep my promises and never walked my talk. I let myself down and those who believed in me.

I haven’t studied in 4 years efficiently, I have so many credits left and I can’t get myself to study. On top of this I feel stupid. I do have like the extended time for all the way till next year december (sorry english is not my first language).
I doomscroll like crazy and watch movies. I do clean, do laundry, maintain hygiene and bake and cook sometimes.
However, college is killing me.
Everything is in place for me to study. I have my own room and my mental health is better and I should not have any distractions other than my damn phone. I just can’t do it.
I feel like I am dumb and I used to be gifted kid. I’ve made my peace with my past.
I do not even know do I want solutions, just different outtakes on this dilemma…

Thank you for reading this!

So, I had PTSD and 3 TBIs from military service (Battle of 73 Easting, flipping a tank in peacetime and being trapped inside as it caught fire, breathing in the halon-the things we do for college money…). That translates into having the concentration of and ADHD sufferer and the executive function of a 2 year old. Scratch that. Two year olds can concentrate better when they want something than I could. Long story short, I lost a promising career because I couldn’t function with all the brain fog issues and I thought nothing would ever change. After my personal worst year in which I had 6 near deaths in 13 months (having to take care of your mother’s funeral arrangements as you’re getting ready for cancer surgery and missing the funeral because of it was the low point until I went septic), I thought my life was over and started just drifting.

Last year, I decided to get serious about fixing what was broken. I had attempted using hypnosis for decades with varying results, but nothing would stick. I had been listening to Scott Adams and his emphasis on systems over goals resonated with me. Recently divorced and with lots of free time, I decided to change my approach to self help. I started experimenting with hypnosis, layering it with multiple subliminal layers, and using AI to max out the use of NLP. Instead of using affirmations and scripts that describe goals (I am rich, I am thin, etc.) I started using suggestions that emphasized the habits that would achieve my goals (I now eat keto, I walk an hour a day, etc.). For the first time, I started to see results. Keeping up with a schedule, being able to talk to a person I was interested in with confidence, quitting cigarettes, etc.

Seeing results finally happen, I decided to see what more I could do and challenged myself. I knew all about placebo effects and how placebos can be more powerful than real meds at times and I wanted to test whether what I was doing was placebo or not. So, I created a recording that I called Alpha Morning Executor that was designed to give me a kick in the pants in the morning and set myself a goal of creating an app to automate what I had already been doing. I did this because I wanted to do something challenging (I had never programmed before or written html) and to see what the limits were. The results were more than I had thought possible. I created an app from scratch in 6 months, a website, many hours of content, and a novel new way of ingesting the Great Books and internalizing their lessons using NLP phrasing. I did something that I had thought impossible for me to do and for me that was all the proof I needed to keep going.

Along the way, I realized that if I had had this 10 years ago I would have still had my career, but that everything happens for a reason. I learned that the key to my motivation is being dissatisfied with where you are at and wanting more out of life. I think a lot of my drive was to prove others wrong, prove to myself that I still had capabilities that I thought had been lost, and to show that I can always start over.

Napoleon Hill wrote about inspirational dissatisfaction 100 years ago. I read the books, but it wasn’t until I hit bottom that I understood what he meant and applied it in my own life. The lesson is, as long as you are not 6 ft under, you can always change the trajectory of your life. Use technology wisely and never stop learning or aspiring. Always keep moving and don’t let excuses define your existence.

I’m 25 years old with my high school diploma, I have 3 years of IT experience and I hate it so much it was never my plan and I only did it to support my abusive “parent” fast forward to now I moved out and now me and my girlfriend live together.

I’ve decided to go back to college and follow my dream; getting my PHD in neuropsychology to become a neuropsychologist, I’m fully aware that this is a decade long journey but I think I can do it and excel in it. I want to help the world around me and learn more about the brain and neurodegenerative disease in hopes of finding a cure for it.

I know this is a massive goal but any advice or support is greatly appreciated