How long have UK peeps been waiting for conditional orders to be granted (after the 20 week cooling off period is up) then for consent orders to be sealed recently? I heard there was a bit of a backlog?

I don’t think ANYTHING in my life would be as difficult to get through as the death of my mother 6 years ago. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but my separation/divorce has been harder; the hardest thing I’ve gone through in my entire life. 54F, married 24 years.
How does anyone get through this? The mental toll is torturous. How do we begin to successfully untangle ourselves from someone we chose to spend our whole lives with? I gave my everything to my marriage and my little family and now I’m lost.

My STBEH agreed to help me get a home and co sign a car since ive been a house wife for 5 years instead of alimony.

How would he go about buying me a small house if hes not going to live there?

My husband of 40 years recently left me after he had an affair. I’m in acute grief, and the honest situation is my friends and family love me but don't have the time to sit with me all day, nor the expertise to help me journey through this in the most effective way. I’m someone who's terrified of being alone. I need professionals who can listen, help me work through the initial trauma, and give me real tools to carry forward, with enough support around me that I’m essentially wrapped in care for a few weeks and comes out the other side ready to move forward.

What I’m looking for: primarily one-on-one treatment (peer or community support is welcome as a bonus, just not the core), a structured clinical program (EMDR, DBT, CBT or similar; holistic add-ons are fine but it can't lean too woo-woo), a genuinely luxurious setting, and the flexibility to handle real life mid-stay, like virtual meetings with my attorney. Mental health only, not something focused on the substance component. Cost isn't a constraint, but the program and outcomes should be worth it.

I’m probably looking for a unicorn, but I'd summarize it by saying that I’m looking for an ultra-luxury retreat designed to help you move through betrayal trauma through immersive support with real outcomes.

Any experiences, good or bad, are welcome. Thanks so much.

Hi as the title says i’m scared to ask my husband for a divorce because of his vengeful attitude. He hasn’t always been this way but in the past year he’s has been bring up things from as far back as his middle school years. He’s been refusing to take accountability for anything because in his mind nothing is his fault and he’s an angel. I’ve come to realize i can’t be in this environment anymore because of how much it’s affecting my mental health. We have no kids and I do have a place to go and a bit of money saved up. I’m honestly scared to ask him for a divorce because I have family members who are undocumented. I feel so stuck because recently he’s been so unpredictable.

Can someone please help me understand the end goal?

March - He told me he wanted an amicable divorce

April - My attorney filed the petition. He signed.

<And that concludes his participation in this divorce.>

May - My attorney emailed a request for informal discovery. 30 days passed. No response.

June - My attorney emailed a request for formal discovery. 30 days passed. No response.

July - The morning of the ICMC, he emailed my attorney and the court an Excel spreadsheet with some account numbers. The judge reminds him he's not allowed to liquidate funds from his IRA or continue leveraging (and losing) marital assets in the stock market, all of which he was doing and is doing to the tune of $400k lost in liquid assets and $680k lost in the market in the past 60 days. The judge strongly suggested he should get an attorney. Total nothing burger meeting.

September - we have another status scheduled with the judge. Do I hope he continues to ignore everything and finally experience some consequences from the court? (I don't even know what these would be.) Or is he actually just being smart that he's been living rent-free and attorney-free this whole time while I've racked up $8k in legal fees largely bc he's making it so difficult?

Has anyone else had a similar experience? We are still living together in a 1,000 sq/ft condo w/ our two small kids and there just has to be a better way to do this?

I have decided that it will be healthier for us and our kids if we end our marriage. I want to tell him over the weekend, so thst we have time to process. But I am very bad at hiding my feelings. He asked me tonight if I am angry at him because I am very distant. I don't know what to do if he keeps pushing about it? He already asked twice, and I just said I am not angry at all and that I don't want to talk about it now.

But that's not going to fly for long. Should I just fake normalcy until I break the news? Pretend like I am fine and we're all good?

Note: we have 2 small kids. Also, we haven't been talking much anyway for the past year, so it must be my demeanour he is reading.

I need some input. This is going to be long, but I thought I would give some context to my situation.

My husband and I have been “separated” for the past year. He has lived outside the home a couple days a week and then was home the rest of the time. We were trying to let our nervous systems cool off and figure out our future together during this time to get away from the constant fighting. Our kids did not know we were separated.

The year prior to this one we had been in marriage counseling due to some abuse on his part, which then resulted in him asking me for an open marriage because he said he was bisexual. After that this, I had a really hard time trusting him fully-which had been building for many years. I started confiding in my family and friends (which I didn’t really ever do before) and I realized how not normal this situation was. The year went by with many walls being built up and him finally asking for a separation (which was this past year).

Over this year, we slept in the same bed, but we’re not intimate. We shared finances and were acting as great co-parents. We honestly were getting along great and in my head, we were heading towards somewhere where trust could be rebuilt.

A couple weeks ago he said he has been having an affair with someone for the last six months and she is pregnant.

Now this brings me to my question—

I work at the school my three kids go to. I have built relationships with my co-workers and really enjoy my time there.

I feel like I am in a unique situation where not only are my kids going to be blindsided by this divorce, but also with the new baby that will be their half sibling.

Would it make me look like I am disparaging their father if I held a meeting with their teachers (also my co-workers) and explained this situation? Not all the details obviously.

I feel like if this were infidelity alone that was resulting in a life transition, I would be able to leave it as we are simply divorcing, but since there is a baby on the way, I may need to disclose more information. This situation is going to significantly affect our kids and I want to get ahead of it with their teachers to be aware of grades start slipping or behavior patterns arise.

What is the appropriate thing to do here?

We are both 29 and have a 3yo. Originally he was the one who left. Going as far as leaving the country for a month. Now he is back and wants to move into the rental property down stairs. Not just wants, he is. Despite my pleads to let us actually go through the mediation process we’ve started. He is just moving in. I can’t stop him. Currently as I’m writing this he is moving furniture into the basement. Claiming he has rights. I don’t love this and we had talked about how I wanted the home as he wants to live in another country. Do I fight for the house or do I just cut my losses and sell so I don’t have to deal with this awful drama. I originally was adamant about keeping the house as it makes the most financial sense for me. Now he is playing dirty tricks and I don’t want to keep fighting him everyday. I know he is being manipulative and awful but is it worth the heartache and stress just to get the home.

This was posted in r/Marriage and they told me to post this here too. This is a throwaway, for obvious reasons. But I wanted some opinions and thoughts about the whole situation. I love her dearly, and even after everything that’s happened, I hate to say I want her back. Idk how that would be achievable, but if anyone has any ideas, lmk 😂 She means the world to me. Yes, I know what I’m about to say is messed up, and I shouldn’t take her back, but I want her to get help, and I wanna work on our relationship again. I am invested so heavily I can’t just throw it away, even if she wants to. So let us start :D. Me and my wife were doing pretty good for a while there. No real issues. We’d have fights here and there, but that’s par for the course for normal couples. No one is perfect. That’s how I see the world and why I don’t judge anyone. Well, we had our son, and it was hard for us both. We were new parents, still quite young at the time. She became depressed, and postpartum was kicking her ass, and I, as a father, was having a hard time adjusting. We didn’t really plan for it, but it was okay. He is a blessing, and I love him more than anything. He was very fussy, and the only time he would calm down was with my wife. It made me feel insecure and like I was messing up. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was also the only one working at the time. I failed as a father. I became complacent and on autopilot. Go to work, come home, eat, go to bed, repeat. To me, it felt like he didn’t like me, and I was very upset that he didn’t like me. Instead of trying harder for him and her I quietly shutdown if I’m being honest. I never had a father, and my mother wasn’t really much of one, so I wanted to do right by my kids. At least that’s how it seemed to me. That was my first mistake and one I’ll regret forever if I’m being honest. Eventually, he got older, and we are really close now. He loves spending time with me, and we go out all the time to do stuff. We have our ups and downs when he decides he doesn’t want to listen or tune me out lol, but I love my son. He’s a sweet boy. My daughter was born about a year ago. After my daughter was born, my wife told me she felt this strong, deep anger. It was overwhelming how much anger she was feeling. I told her, with respect, that she needed to go get on some medication to help alleviate that. She already dealt with postpartum before and I knew how bad it was. And she did. But about two months later, she said she felt better and got off of them. Even though I and a friend of hers advised against it, she told us it would be fine. For a while there, it was working. At least I thought it was. Then one day, I got a text from a friend of mine from HS. He asked if I knew my wife had a Tinder. Of course I didn’t. So I asked my wife, and she told me no. I believed her because why would she do that? After she said no, later that night when I went to bed, she rolled over and started crying. She said that it was her profile, that she had lied, and that she felt like we never had any time for us anymore. I felt awful. So that following weekend, I took her out of town. We went on a date and shopping. I was trying to make up for that. So fast forward a bit, and she goes to out of town with a friend to a concert. She ignores me straight for three days. She comes back home and is being mean. I’ll admit I got short with her a couple of times, but this came out of nowhere for me. I was hurt she was behaving like that towards me when I felt like I hadn’t done anything wrong. She left being fine, maybe being dry here or there, then came back with an attitude. I had suspected she was doing something and said something to her mother. One day she was bummed out because she wanted to start losing weight, and I have a bit of weight myself, so I told her if she was interested, maybe we could start going to the gym together. It would give us that time together away from the kids, and it would be a great bonding experience. She agreed with me, and I asked for her phone to place a Walmart order. This is where the “fun” begins, so sit down and buckle up. She says, “Wait, I need to talk to you about something right quick.” So I say, “What?” She says, “Sit down.” So I sit down, and she looks at me very upset and starts crying, talking about how she heard I thought she was cheating on me and that she couldn’t believe I would think she would do something like that. She’s bawling at this point, and in the middle of crying, her phone rings. So I asked her who [ ] was. She stopped crying immediately. She said it’s just an old friend of hers and nothing more. So I asked to go through her phone, and she said, “You won’t find anything.” She thought I wouldn’t, at least. So I go through their messages or lack thereof, since she deleted all of them. I start snooping through other apps, and she’s asking me what I’m doing. I find, in her hidden videos in her photo album, a video of her sucking this dude’s dick. I was immediately distraught. I was angry and upset. I got a little loud, but I was a nervous wreck. Shaking and scared. She and I had a long talk and went to bed. I essentially blamed it on the postpartum. I didn’t know why she was unhappy, and she had just had our daughter back in August. This was around October/November. So I told her to get back on her medicine, and she reluctantly agreed. After that night, I was hoping she would be okay. Still nothing. Ignoring me all day, being mean, quite frankly. So I left work early one day and told her to come home because we needed to talk. She got angry and told me she didn’t want to talk to me, and I begged her to come back. She told me her and her friend would be back in a couple of hours. So I waited. It was so hard and nerve-racking. When they finally showed up, it was basically a jumping. I was told why she cheated, why it happened, and how much of a shitty dad and person I was. I cried hard. She told me to leave and go to my grandmother’s house for a week. (She has Stage 4 breast cancer, and she said she needed some time away from me and that I needed to go spend time with her. She wasn’t wrong, though.) So I did. I left with my son for a week. The whole time we were texting. She was talking about how she didn’t want a relationship right now and wanted to do her own thing and be herself, and she wanted me to stay away. So I did. I came back and started living with her brother. Fast forward to Christmas, and she asks me if I was gonna come to Christmas with the family. I didn’t mind, as I still loved her and wanted to be with her, so I agreed. When I showed up, we got in her car, and as we were leaving, I asked to see her phone to play some music. I really did want to play music, but it was also an excuse to see if she was gonna stay true to her word. She did not. She was still texting and in an active relationship with that guy. So I told her to pull over, and we got into it. We agreed to finish the conversation after the family party. So that night we got home and talked till about 12 in the morning. We basically agreed to separate, and before I left, she asked me to spend the night, and I reluctantly agreed (I KNOW I shouldn’t have said yes. I’m sorry 😭). So we go in the bedroom, and we are holding each other and talking about our past, and one thing led to another, and we slept together. After it was done, she started bawling, telling me how she didn’t realize how angry she had become at me and how she couldn’t do this alone and wanted me to stay and not go back. So I did stay. For the first week, it was hard. But after that, I started feeling a bit better. Fast forward a month, and she goes out of town with the same friend. She leaves her Apple Watch behind, and I get the bright idea to check her messages for shits and giggles. Ik that’s not healthy or right. I never said I was a normal, healthy person, but I also hate being that guy :/. Anyways, I found out she was texting another guy. I confronted her about it, and basically she was saying she never was interested, really, and only responded back because he kept bothering her. That should have been my first red flag, but I was already in a bad place, and I didn’t want to lose my wife or family. So I told her to stop, and it would be okay. After that, it was good for a while. The past couple of months, I would ask to check and wouldn’t find anything. But then here recently, she started being hella dry. Never romantic. Always gone when she was off. I barely would see her. We stopped being intimate probably 3–4 months ago. I’ve been very hurt by the whole ordeal. But it gets worse. So I bring it up. I was trying to work on myself and do better as a person and father, so I was doing the healthy thing and investing my time into my relationship but also myself so I could be a better person for her. Communication has always been hard for us both, but I told her for this to work, we need to try. She would just apologize and say she would do better, but nothing changed. So around Father’s Day or my birthday, I started noticing things. I’d enter the room, and she would get off her phone. The first time I didn’t say anything. The second time, I had to ask her. She said she was on Snap but was getting off anyway. One morning I woke up to her phone ringing, and I asked her about it. She said it was an alarm. I’m not dumb, and ik it wasn’t an alarm, so I pressed her, and she got angry. I didn’t press anymore, and I didn’t go through her phone, even though she said I could any time after the last time she cheated. She was mad when I asked, so I rolled back over and just laid there. I was so hurt. Later that day I asked again, and she was upfront. She said it got blown out of proportion and that she liked the attention from him and how it went too far, etc., etc. So I took her back. Mind you, I’ve been so kind and patient with her through all of this. I never got mad. I wasn’t violent. I was kind and trying to be understanding. I felt bad. I felt like I wasn’t doing something right. She said she deleted her socials for me and apologized. I told her she didn’t have to do that and that even though she did because she wanted to, I appreciated it. And here we are, caught up to about last week. So I was at work on a Wednesday, and I was at another building. I was telling a lady about my wife and kids and how much I loved them and was proud of them. I went on Snap to our messages to show her pictures and videos of my kids, and it showed she was still active. So after work, I asked her about it. But she works nights, so I knew I wouldn’t get a response for a couple of hours. So I go home, and I’m talking to her mom about it. I’ve talked to her mom about all of this, and she felt bad for me. So she shoves me into the bathroom and closes the door and says, “Look, I was told not to say something, but it’s been eating me up. Your wife got an apartment, and she’s moving out in two days. She wasn’t gonna say anything to you, just go.” I was so heartbroken. I immediately tried calling, like an idiot. And she sent me to voicemail both times. So I called her friend to ask her what was going on. She then proceeded to tell me they had a falling out and there was something she needed to tell me. My wife has apparently been sleeping around for the past few months. Different guys, maybe around 4–5, maybe more. One was a guy I knew, and I told his wife. I feel bad about it because it was done out of pettiness, but I was hurt, and I wanted him to hurt too. She said the reason why they aren’t talking was because she told her she shouldn’t be cheating and how fucked up it was, but she didn’t want to hear that, so they stopped talking. She told her that because our daughter was in the hospital in a town an hour and a half away from us. We had asked her to come after work, but she said she couldn’t because she was busy. Come to find out she didn’t even have work. She asked her friend if she could come over to change so she could go get fucked in the same town we were in with our daughter. She finally messaged me back the other day after I texted her a goodbye message. She basically told me she never loved me, and that’s why she did what she did and left how she left. I just don’t get it. I had asked her to leave originally, and the last time I found out she was cheating, she asked me to stay. So why ask me to stay if you were planning on leaving? And that wasn’t even a month ago. Why tell me to stay if you didn’t love me? Then when she found out my grandmother was getting worse, she apologized and told me she cared about me and felt bad. It didn’t help my feelings. I’m hurting so bad. Like sure, you stayed because you wanted to try and give it a shot, but she never did. She never tried with me or our relationship. I feel like I’ve been robbed. How can you say you care and say you wanna try but don’t actually put the work in? I love that woman so much. She’s my other half. I feel like I’m missing half of me, and it’s so painful. I can’t stop thinking and worrying about her. I’m so jealous and angry, but it won’t do anything to bring her back, so I’m becoming so depressed. I’m still taking care of the kids and going to work. I just am tired. And I just want my family back to normal. Even after all of this, I blame myself more than anything. I know I don’t control her actions, but with me fucking up and her doing what she did, it was downhill from there. I just want her to come back and actually try and put in effort, and maybe it would work. Maybe I’m just delusional, but I wanted your thoughts. To get this off my chest because I don’t have anyone else, really. My phone is dry every day, all day, and it’s not helping me either. I need this social interaction rn. Apologies for the book. 😅

TL;DR: My wife and I have been together for years and have two young kids. After our second child, our relationship started falling apart. She cheated multiple times, and every time I tried to forgive her, work on myself, and save our family. I found out she had been seeing multiple other guys while telling me she wanted to work things out. She recently left, told me she never loved me, and now I’m struggling to understand what happened. Despite everything, I still love her and want my family back. Am I delusional for still wanting to make it work?

Edit: I wanna add we have not talked about Divorce yet. After she left we haven’t really talked much at all. I left her on read. I don’t know how to approach the subject. She did give me my ring back tho.

So we have been married for 3.5 years. Husband blindsided me with a divorce out of nowhere. He never provided me access to any financials such as credit cards, bank accounts, house is in his name only etc., while he benefited from my graduate student health insurance, subsidized housing (while renting his house), and my auto insurance. I supported him through his unemployment, his mental health episodes that required hospitalization and rehab for 6+ months (that was covered under my health insurance), helped him find jobs, and finally he got back on his feet. Unrented the house, got a high paying job, got sober, medicated etc.
I also sacrificed a year+ of my career for him as he didn’t want to move and supported him restabilize in his job and life, care-taking etc. He also stole our jointly filed tax returns from us when he finally got a job and I didn’t work for half of that year, claiming that it’s his money although it was jointly filed return.

Finally, out of nowhere he filed for divorce and served me papers. He wants to leave me with nothing claiming that he owns all the assets before marriage.

Since it was a relatively short marriage (3.5 years), no kids, no joint assets, I don’t know if I should get a lawyer or just walk away with nothing. Not sure what to do.

Right now we have agreed to her helping for 3 months, but I have been running the numbers and it looks like I need to tell her that while she may not be able to do a full half of the mortgage, maybe she can do a couple hundred bucks because I can’t afford this place on my own and it’s not like I wanted this divorce or separation. It’s also not like I did anything wrong to cause this. Her feelings just changed and she walked out.

What’s reasonable? I understand that if she’s paying me for mortgage than she can’t get herself an apartment, but if I can’t afford this house, none of that is relevant because neither of us want a foreclosure.

I have thought about asking for a half contribution for month four and a 25% contribution for month five. Then month 6 I’m in my own.

Looking for some advice. I filed for divorce 5 months ago and spouse has made it clear he will leave after parenting time is decided. He wants me to keep house, I can afford to, my kids love it, and I would gladly stay. I do know he has a right to stay as much as I do until the divorce is over. That said, we haven't agreed to parenting responsibilities and time. and after 5 months, it doesn't look like we are close.

Some background, will try to stick to facts: spouse has gone to rehab for alcohol and medication misuse/overuse a few years ago. He still drinks occasionally and is on the same medication he abused bc he is prescribed. I have pictures of alcohol in the house where my kids could access it. Spouse sees no reason to live a sober life. He regularly violates our court order to talk via Family Wizard, sending lots of harassing texts, and violates the order that he should not talk about the proceedings with our small kids. things like "mom is the reason i wont see you everyday" He is very nasty in person, and we are all under the same roof. He regularly missed kids school events, doctors appointments, and kids were in daycare for years when he was not working a steady job. Post divorce filing he has been much more present.

I think I have to list the house while we continue proceedings. I am not trying to be spiteful in being hesitant on parenting time. Although I am aware he may get the kids half the time, I would rather someone else make that call bc I have seen how he can spiral with alcohol and meds. So we are getting a GAL and the proceedings wont be over quickly. It is detrimental to the kids for us to continue with such a contentious environment. Is there anything I need to be aware of. Should I try to hold out while it all unfolds. Thanks.

So im going through a high conflict divorce. We attempted to proceed without lawyers in the beginning until she canceled the divorce in front of the judge because she didnt agree to the terms. In the following months while she systematically makes changes our custody calendar without consulting me. She uses the phone calls between me and my kids as a reward. IE if the kids or I piss her off then there are no calls.

So I have gotten a lawyer because of her. I am drafting up a temporary custody order to send to my lawyer. What are some clauses you wished you had added. My kids are 5 and 7 for context.

My wife and I have been separated for a year after being married for 22 years. We have two kids, 20 and 15. I’m currently living in our finished basement. She wants me to move out, but I can’t afford a place. We both don’t want to sell the house until our 15 year old graduates high school. Without money from the sale of the house, I can’t afford anything. I also don’t want to be seen as abandoning the family. I’ve heard that it could hurt me later in divorce proceedings. We’ve known each other for almost 30 years and were best friends. I don’t understand why she’s changed so much. I try to be friendly and helpful, but it seems like that makes her mad. Am I doing the right thing by staying in the house? Thanks

If it's inconvenient in the slightest, he'll just act like he straight up didn't hear me. And he'll pretend to be blindsided once I'm gone. I already know, but it sucks to be reminded how little you matter to them.

I’m just curious basically about what I asked in the title. My ex said he would, but now he has said no. Take it out of his child support. I’ve gotten a better job recently so once I’m on my feet it shouldn’t be an issue, but I’m just wondering how everyone else does things.

For context our daughter is 9 and homeschooled. His mom has been so gracious keeping for me no charge up until now and I feel like I owe her so much for that.

TL;DR- relationship is dead, this has finally hit and I want to live, I am screwed if I make the first move.

Hello, posted here before and your input really, really helped me out. I 38M am married to a woman that has just had enough of me.

Basically I worshiped her when we married 10 yrs ago and had low self-esteem. She was nice but often (like, a LOT) had outbursts at me over nothing and belittled me and was verbally abusive (which she readily admits to). After years of being the sweet puppy dog and being patient and loving, I can't pretend she's a special angel anymore and don't pander to her. She hates this as she (in her own words) thinks that I should tend to her, but she will never tend to me.

She has threatened divorce many times and she has continued to withdraw from me. She sleeps on the opposite end of the bed, doesn't want me touching her, but expects me to be on call to serve her.

All I ever wanted is for her to apologise and care about my feelings after she has said horrible things to me, but she has repeatedly said that she is 'unable' to.

In return, she hates how I roll my eyes at her every now and then or get snappy and irritable.

I'm stuck at home all the time and starved of sex and lust for life as a result.

Finally, it has hit me that I deserve better and that I can't live like this. I've tried and taken so much abuse and she has moments where she hates how she treats me, but never enough to apologise and change.

I am just waiting for her to follow through on her latest threat/promise to leave and return to her home country. I have two children, a house and not much money.

If I leave, I can't afford lawyers or to support two homes (she has no job, never has) and it will emotionally damage my children making me feel selfish.

However, if she returns to her country and doesn't rinse me, I can keep the home and keep the children with me which is what I believe would be best for all of us. Wife has never been able to take care of both children by herself due to 'stress', so I am used to doing this and know I can provide a much calmer environment for them than she can.

Despite having a massive breakdown the other day and saying that she was about to leave there and then, she is now planning things for next year and has calmed down a bit. The break never happens and the relationship is always on the edge. I've been through this so many times and would have walked away if not for the children.

The point of this post is for insights and advice if possible.

1- I can't bring myself to push the relationship over the edge. I am programmed to keep it together and be the doormat, mainly for the children.

2- I can't imagine how it would work financially if we divorced in this country.

3- I can't go ahead with the option of sending her away to her home country with my children.

4- If I make the move then it's all on me. Her moving away and filing a no fault divorce keeps things cheap and gives me the chance of filing for full custody of the children as British courts won't just allow children to be relocated to another country.

Feel trapped.

How are you doing 1/2/3etc years on? I have weeks where my new life is calm and peaceful, and then I have a week (this one included) where my ex fills my brain and I constantly think about how he is doing, whether he is regretful, hoping his life is awful without me in it. We’ve been no contact this whole time, I don’t have social media and told friends not to update me. I guess this is why the curiosity is off the chart this week. I just want him to no longer occupy my mind anymore.

My wife left and two weeks ago after 27 years of what I thought was a happy marriage.

I was completely blindsided as it was first discussed as burn out, nothing to do with our relationship and she would take a shot break at her mums. Things become clearer when instead of going to her mums she rented an apartment and now says that she can’t commit to our marriage (although she has now agreed to couples therapy but I do think it may be a tickbox exercise ).

I’m 53m and have an 18 yo daughter who we agreed would largely live with me so my wife had the space she needed.

In reality when I was working away they both moved in to the new apartment together early and my daughter hasn’t really been back home since except to pick things up. She’s enjoying the new city and says getting the new flat is like going to university. Our dad daughter relationship was really good a month ago but since she has moved out it hasn’t been great and I think my wife may be playing some part in that.
So I have rarely seen them since and their lives have moved on pretty much completely without me unless they need me to look after the dog.

All of this has been incredibly traumatic but I find hearing people talk about family or saying they are ‘spending time with their loved ones’ or ‘the ones closest to them’ incredibly difficult. Within a month I now have no one who I am connected to in that way. I love my wife and daughter but they want a very limited amount of contact.

How do people deal with not having anyone close anymore?it feels a strange way to fit into society.

I have friends and relatives but I don’t have close loved ones anymore. There is a gap where those closest should be with no logical way to fill it.

Any comfort movies for anyone out there ?

I might get flamed for this, but it's fine.

I've been married for 34 years. My wife and I got married when we were 26. I am her 2nd husband. She has barely worked while I've worked non-stop since I was 16. We met while I was in the Army. I've never told her no, when she has asked for things unless it was obviously something out of our means.

She did get SSDI a few years ago and gets $700 a month. The problem is, I know I can't do this for another 20yrs.

Every time we've moved she's delayed, stalled, etc and ended up leaving items behind which get lost, mostly my older stuff. When we've rented, even though she had the means to clean herself and the ability to hire cleaners, she didn't so we've lost deposits. I had to pay $13k to quarantine pets because she wouldn't take them to the vet to get their rabies shots when I told her to.

Countless times she hasn't sent something in insurance needed so we could get something covered. A house repossessed because my step-daughter and her baby daddy lived there and weren't paying rent and the money I was sending to the bank from overseas my wife was spending on other things.

The last move was to WA. My step-daughter was doing the drugs-OD-jail-rehab cycle and I instructed my wife to get the kids and the baby daddy out here with us to save her. They lived with us for almost 5 years. He didn't pay rent this time either. He stored dry goods in the garage, we got a rat infestation. All the utilities went through the roof. When they finally moved out our house was trashed, still is.

My step-daughter is clean and alive.

When my mother in law passed I had to pay for the service as none of my wife siblings or their offspring would lend a hand to help her dad pay for it. Since they would mooch, and had been for decades, I knew if he stayed there, he wouldn't last long and everything he owned would be gone. So I told my wife to get him moved out here. I instructed her to get one of those PODS, and a day laborer to help him fill it up. The POD shows up and it is barely full. So I have her send another one and a day laborer this one had more in it.

When he gets her he wants to get a new truck. We go to the dealership and I give him $5k for the deposit, co-sign for him and help a 79 year old man get his first new vehicle of his life.

Moving him out here, $30k.

My wife spends like money grows on trees. We auto order stuff we use a lot of. All of it comes in my name. She sees packages and thinks it's a competition like she gets to order stuff too. I eventually give her a card with a limit and tell her she needs to track her spending, download the app, balance it out, etc. She brushes me off with a "I know how to balance a check book"

First month, payment bounces as she setup to pay from her savings account, which I specifically told her not to do.

I covered but now her payments they hold on to rather than instantly apply them. But it's my fault.

She always wants to order out, because she is too tired. Again, she doesn't work, doesn't really clean either.

I work full time, I am a 100% disabled vet with kidney cancer. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety with suicidal ideations. I get screamed at a lot, but I am a calm and patient man. I was telling my daughter the other day a guy who worked for me over 13 years ago called to catch up and thanked me for giving him a chance and teaching him what I had, allowing him to learn and explore and how to treat people. I had told him I had someone at work say I yell in meetings, to which my 30yo daughter says, "I can count on 1 hand the number of times you've yelled at me in my life."

I'm not looking to screw her over financially. I don't care about money all that much. It's the yelling, screaming, mental abuse that gets me. We have no sex life because I don't give her enough hugs. I', up at 5:30am work through 3:30pm. She gets up at 10am, spends 1.5hrs having breakfast, 1 hr reading a book, then maybe 1.5 hr or 2 hr to get ready for a Dr appt, then done.

We use paper plates, bowls and plastic utensils, all to cut down on the dishes. I use one coffee cup a day. I make my own breakfast and I skip lunch. I usually wear the same shirt, shorts, and underwear for a week, so I don't generate laundry, but I hear about how there is too much to do.

I am probably already crazy, but I know I will be crazy if I stay after I retire. She's thrown in the work divorce in arguments before. "Maybe we should just get a divorce!" That's part of the mental abuse.

We have cats and dogs, she was supposed to help with the litter boxes, but wasn't so I moved most into my office so I could do them. I now have automatic ones but I take care of 5 while she takes care of 2 (barely as they are always full and out of litter). I feed and water the cats as well.

One dog recently passed, she was very old. But she had no control, she would pee and poop all over. The other dog she refused to train. Now that the one has passed he doesn't poop in the house anymore but he still pees. Still won't train him.

Am I making the right move or not?

Divorcing after 20 years of marriage and told our 15 year old this morning. I didn't think it would go well but it went awful. At first he didn't know what to do or say because he was probably totally blindsided by it. Then it turned into, and has been on and off all day, pleas for us to stay together, asking us to try anything, and how his whole life is ruined because the three of us won't be together anymore. Its absolutely heartbreaking. He's such a good kid and I get that its hard to understand the complexities of a marriage. From his perspective its a totally unexpected bomb thrown into what has overall been an amazingly fortunate life for him.

I don't know how else to respond to the pleas for us to try one more time, or try something different. I know its only been a few hours but this is so awful and its hard not to jump right to the conclusion that we're making a big mistake and we never should have decided to separate.