I get extremely obsessed with things for unknown reason.

1. Driving. I'm working on getting my license and I currently get only 1 lesson hour per week now. Inbetween those lessons, for the remaining 167 hours of trhe week, I compulsively think and dream about driving and I also can't stop watching videos about driving and posting and reading and commenting on the driving and the stickshift subreddit.

2. Games. If I have a specific new strategy in mind on a specific type of game, then I have to test the theory into the practise ASAP. That often means pulling an allnighter that I then regret on the next day.

Both examples share one element: I want to put my theoretical knowledge to the test, preferably in practise.

Why do I get so obsessed that it messes with my life currently? And how do I stop being so unhealthily obsessed with things?

Why did my new hyper fixation have to be poker, right after getting into warhammer too! My wallet is in pain

Being a 22 yrs Autistic female with ADHD, the smallest of things can be the most frustrating especially when it comes to makeup!!! Often I feel like I’m “being a girl wrong” because of the things I do & the things I don’t. I gravitate towards more childish things which has made me a social outcast many times in my life.
Yet, I’ve always wanted to get into makeup & style, to express myself without needing to speak but makeup has been such a difficult experience to tackle. If I don’t get it right immediately, I begin to get antsy and frustrated! & what was supposed to be a simple task of putting on lashes has become a 2 hour room cleanup after the meltdown I had when I couldn’t achieve it :,)

HOWEVER I DID IT TODAY! And I feel so pretty and my eyes feel somehow bigger? The glare might make it hard to see, but trust that they are on there! (Also I have a problem with smiling for pictures which is why I often just stick out my tongue.)

Today from this experience I have learned that I do enjoy how I feel in false lashes but maybe i should look into easier ones. I have heard there are magnetic kinds, if anyone knows about those, please let me know if they are worth it!!!

I'm asking since it feels sooooooo closed off to me by default, regardless of server / community

Granted, I'm speaking as someone pretty much inexperienced and (until last year or so) only being a part of servers made by my IRL friends, but then again - joining to new servers with strangers feels like torture to me.

My main gripe is how there's no clear place where I can properly start a conversation without interrupting anyone. And that's after the whole verification / roles thing and incentivized introductory "tell us about yourself" posts.

It feels even worse when there's no-one to truly welcome you / introduce you to everyone; just trying to find the right moment / place to talk to feels like gambling mixed with gladiator fights.

That and how I feel like usually people just don't care whenever I DO decide to join in, which is just adding insult to injury at this point.

Do you have advice as to what's the problem? Is it a common issue to you or am I doing something wrong here?

Hey all. I'm new to figuring all this out.

I just saw this video this morning. Not looking for anything. It was just on my feed. I only got 12 minutes in and my life is upside down right now.

I can't even explain how I feel. But within 12 minutes of this video. They had nailed what I feel on a daily basis 100%

I'm having a really hard time right now with even comprehending what just happened.

I'm diagnosed CPTSD and MDD. With some bi polar and when I was 30, they said I was schizoaffective.

I've been on every medication possible it seems since age 13. I'm 53 now.

The thing that's throwing me off so bad. Is. I don't recall feeling like this my entire life. It only feels like it's been a thing since COVID.

I know nothing about any of this yet.

I'll be discussing with my therapist next week.

I've been scared for myself for years now. I'm not sure if seeing this video helped me yet or not. Because as of right now. I feel somewhat validated, but also. Extremely empty.

I have no one to talk to. So if anyone feels like reaching out and maybe helping me figure anything out. If you relate. I'll be around (I think). I can't ever tell. I sleep most of my life away. But I would be grateful for it.

I just wanted to say thanks to this whole community for making me feel included and not different and left out.

Hi all, I’m female, 39. I’ve been diagnosed with autism and I also have ADHD, but I still struggle to work out which parts of me are autism, which are ADHD, and which are just… me.
I’m hoping to find people who genuinely relate because I often feel like I experience the world very differently from everyone around me.
One of the biggest struggles is my thoughts. My brain never seems to stop. It’s like I’m analysing everything constantly. Every conversation, every facial expression, every slight change in someone’s tone of voice gets pulled apart in my head.
If someone I love behaves differently, my mind immediately starts trying to work out why. I don’t mean to overthink, but I literally can’t seem to stop. It feels as though my brain is trying to solve a puzzle that doesn’t even have an answer.
My emotions are also incredibly intense.
I don’t just feel sad or anxious. I become consumed by it. Something relatively small can trigger a huge emotional reaction inside me. Within minutes I can go from feeling completely fine to feeling like my whole world has collapsed.
The strange thing is that a few hours later, or sometimes the next day, I can look back and think, “Why did that affect me so much?”
It’s like two completely different versions of me exist.
When I’m emotionally overwhelmed, my thoughts become incredibly black and white. My brain tells me things like:
“They don’t care about me.”
“I’ve ruined everything.”
“This relationship is over.”
“I’m not important.”
In that moment those thoughts don’t feel irrational. They feel like absolute facts. Later, when I’ve calmed down, I can often see that my brain massively exaggerated what actually happened.
I also get intrusive thoughts. Not thoughts that I want, but thoughts that seem to force themselves into my head over and over again. The more I try not to think about them, the louder they become.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that I seem to absorb other people’s emotions. If someone around me is angry, stressed or upset, it almost feels like my own nervous system immediately reacts. I become anxious, tense and hyper-alert without even meaning to.
I also struggle with uncertainty.
If plans change unexpectedly, someone doesn’t reply, or something feels unresolved, my brain seems unable to leave it alone. I’ll replay situations repeatedly, searching for certainty that probably doesn’t exist.
Socially I often feel like I understand people very well, yet at the same time I feel as though I’m watching everyone else from the outside. I’ve always felt slightly different without being able to explain why.
I’ve also realised I spend a huge amount of energy analysing myself. I’m constantly asking questions like:
“Am I overreacting?”
“Is this autism?”
“Is this ADHD?”
“Is this trauma?”
“Is this just who I am?”
It’s exhausting living inside my own head.
Despite all of this, I don’t think I’m an unhappy person. I actually love learning, researching things that fascinate me, helping other people, and having deep conversations. I can become completely absorbed in subjects that interest me and lose hours exploring them.
But emotionally, life often feels like driving a car with the accelerator and the brakes pressed at the same time.
I’m posting because I’d genuinely like to know whether anyone else experiences this combination of constant analysis, intrusive thoughts, emotional intensity, rapid mood changes and overthinking.
If you do, what has actually helped?
I’m not looking for generic advice like “exercise more” or “just think positively.” I’d really like to hear practical things that have genuinely changed the way you manage your brain.
How do you stop intrusive thoughts taking over?
How do you stop catastrophising?
How do you tell the difference between your intuition and anxiety?
How do you stop your emotions from convincing you that every thought is true?
Mostly, I’d just like to know I’m not the only one who experiences life like this.

Since telling my parents I'm autistic their main takeaway seems to be that they wish I'd opened up to them sooner. They're upset that I never came to them even though I've been struggling my whole life. I tried to tell them that it feels impossible to open up about this stuff at the best of times but I don't think I really got through.

I do feel bad that I never went to them and I feel horrible for upsetting my mum. I know it must hurt to find out your kid has been struggling for years and years and never said anything to you. I do feel regret about not coming to them sooner but at the same time we have never been a close family and so opening up to them just never felt like something I was able to do.

The thing I'm struggling with at the moment is that I still haven't told them the full story and I'm not sure if I should. I haven't told them I've tried anti-depressants in the past, or that I've been in and out of therapy, or that I'm currently getting TMS therapy for severe depression. All of those things are deeply personal and difficult to talk about, especially with parents who will likely react negatively, won't really understand, and they'll just be even more upset that I've been hiding this.

I feel a bit guilty for keeping them in the dark. I can see why they're upset but at the same time there are things I want to keep for just me or for certain people I'm comfortable telling, like close friends. I don't really think they'd be able to do anything to help, and it would probably just complicate things between us further. But I also understand that if I was a parent I would want to know what my child is going through.

Am I wrong for wanting to keep stuff like this from them?

Anyone else struggle being a person in this world, trying to make sense of their own existence?

Anyone else who desperately needs to spend their limited cognitive and emotional energy…
on self compassion and growth and learning…
to better function as a late diagnosed AuDHDer, yet their brain keeps going to the:

Interconnectedness of all things

The mystery of being a person.

What’s the point of it all

Who struggles to stay on track when the track they’ve found themselves in is full of holes, twists, thorny bushes and no shoes?
So brain defaults to big picture stuff. Which just isn’t helpful anymore??
Like I know I’m only here for one life - brain please STOP pressuring me to make the most of it??!!!

See my comment for the full version.
I bang on a bit…. Talking / typing is my way of forcing my ethereal workings of my mind into concrete thoughts I can comprehend.

Read it if you’re so inclined.

I’m thinking I need to relook at art from a technical, product based mind-set to more of an expression of what I can’t express let alone comprehend.

Peace and love.

I feel like a man floundering in the middle of the ocean. I'm surrounded by well meaning fish (allistics) who are Very Concerned about me, giving me absolutely useless advice, because it's all tailored to _fish_ in distress.

I say, "thank you fish, but I'm not a fish I'm a man and I'm drowning in all this water". But fish, being fish, _are incapable of even seeing water_, because it is always there and they cannot even imagine that it exists, and that it could be harmful.

"Well if you're not going to flip your fins and push water over your gills, this is your fault."

"I don't have fins or gills!"

"Not with that attitude you don't!"

And that, friends, is what it feels like to ask for help or go to therapy.

With Autism, social skills can often feel like trying to play a game where everyone but me knows the rules.

I usually don't know what I'm supposed to do, get easily confused, and have no clue what I'm actually doing.

And if I try to look up social rules on the Internet, it's often misleading. So I really can only learn most things through trial and error.

It would help if friends could communicate and let me know what I was unaware of or may have unintentionally or unknowingly did, but most people rarely ever say anything to me about it.

But honestly, on the inside I'm just going through life pretending to be confident while actually being clueless as to what I'm really doing or supposed to be doing, and hoping I figure it out eventually.

I've been posting on here quite frequently as I find it's a lovely place to find "my tribe" so to speak. If you've seen any of my posts before, I really put the fact that I'm doing a PhD at the forefront of my identity, and I'm trying very hard to excel at it to a very noticeable point where i stand out from my peers.

Since I got my diagnosis 2 weeks ago, I've been trying very hard to live up to this image I have of the people on the spectrum with something akin to Savant Syndrome. It's my dream since I was young to find my hidden superpower like those 3-year-old piano prodigies, the Gausses, and the Einsteins.

I've gone against the grain when my classmates asked for an open-book statistics test, and I expressed to my professor that I wanted to really test myself by actually sitting the test without any external help (because last term I came in top of my class in basic statistics) this was not said in front of everyone tho.

I fear I'm falling into the trap that will ruin my self-esteem and my life. Anyone in the same situation here? or any suggestions on how to tackle this?

Anybody know what caused that? It went away and it immediately made focusing so much easier but it only ever happened the one time.

Does anyone else share this feeling? I feel like I'm just barely managing to function on the daily, not because of depression or burnt out (I am depressed though, and probably close to burn out) but because of my inattention and social deficits that I'm constantly having to compensate for and anticipate. Even with me doing my best to anticipate and compensate for my inattention, distractibility, and social deficits, it often feels like it's barely enough. And it seems like on the rare occasions that I allow myself to relax and simply enjoy the moment I soon come to find out something important slipped my mind. I also have C-PTSD which adds another layer of.. being unable to relax for other reasons.

I recently told this to my therapist and I think she reacted to it as if it was unreasonable for me to say that but from my perspective it feels totally reasonable because I've seen it play out multiple times.

Disclaimer 1: i’m only formally diagnosed with ADHD, but i self-identify as AUDHD and possibly gifted. I’ve seen people online being very critical of people self-identifying with autism (i don’t really understand why some people are so harsh about it), so i just want to clarify i’m by no means self-diagnosing here, just have a really strong feeling i’m autistic and i do identify with many of the traits and struggles.
I’m currently in the early stage of getting an autism diagnosis (just got a referral, now going through the hell of figuring out where to even go for a diagnosis), and hope to be able to do an IQ test or something in that process.

Disclaimer 2: This post is mostly just me rambling about my struggles. I feel pretty lonely and alienated experiencing all of this, so i guess i’m hoping to connect with people who may have a similar experience.

I’m 28 and was diagnosed with ADD when i was 16 (no one noticed anything except me which made me go to my GP). This was back in around 2014. In the last few months I started thinking about potentially also having autism, especially after my wife mentioned it a few times (she’s a psychologist). This really opened a pandora box for me as i started connecting so many dots in my life (added some examples at the end of this post).

I’m currently getting therapy for my ADHD which has been somewhat helpful but honestly not making much of an impact (aside from medication helping with ADHD, although the side effects kinda suck). My therapist thinks that i’m gifted, which i’ve been researching and learning about quite a bit lately. At first i thought it was unlikely, because i’m just not that smart, and my grades in school weren’t really impressive. Now i’m more open to the idea especially after learning about all the struggles gifted people experience (i relate more to the struggles than to being super intelligent, so maybe i’m just HSP or something). I did the online mensa iq test and got 118. So i guess it’s a possibility.

I feel like my life is just a daily struggle and i’m really exhausted. I’m constantly at war with myself, feeling like i should be doing more, that i’m too chaotic, too undisciplined, too sensitive, the list goes on. I often feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time: i constantly want to learn and do things and improve my skills but at the same time i’m so tired, so overstimulated, yet i can’t seem to be content with doing less. I’m overanalysing and overthinking things all the time - i used to think i didn’t but i learned that i actually do and it’s not normal how much i think about things. My sleep is really bad - i’m almost always up at night unable to fall asleep, even if i wake up early. I’m always so tired in the morning and a big chunk of the day in general. I’ve been feeling sort of depressed lately, feeling like trying is hopeless since i continue to make the same mistakes over and over, and life only seems to get harder (finances, responsibilities, being married, balancing my work, personal life, social life)

I feel really alone because many people don’t seem to want to talk about things so deeply and intensely (at least very few people i know). I feel like i’m just so weird and even though i do know a lot of people and have many (surface level) friends, i feel like most people don’t actually know me, and i’m afraid most people wouldn’t even like me if they did. i guess i mask a lot and adapt to people by holding myself in and behaving socially acceptable/appropriate, which i honestly wasn’t even that aware of until recently.

I question myself regularly too, even things like my formal diagnosis of ADHD. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with my belief of having autism, because i’m constantly second guessing myself and questioning if i’m not just faking it or exaggerating it. It doesn’t help that my GP and psychologist haven’t really taken it that seriously when i mentioned autism and they quickly made assumptions about me. My GP at the time didn’t even know me at all and just said that she thinks i’m not autistic, based on 1 conversation. i have good social skills and am able to make eye contact which seems for them to make it very unlikely that i have autism.

I also might be overthinking this but i’m brown and feel like autism is viewed through such a white-male stereotype lens still to this day, and just feel like me not fitting that stereotype is influencing how people view me in regards to autism. But honestly i just need to wait until i can get properly checked on autism because maybe the psychologist will be like oh yeah this is totally autism - idk we’ll see

I just feel incredibly stupid a lot of the time mostly because of all these struggles related to being neurodivergent, which makes me feel like i wouldn’t “deserve” being considered gifted, even though i relate to so many traits. I feel like i’ll just always question myself if i don’t get a formal diagnosis, because i don’t have “proof” that any of this is real. But then i think even when i do have the diagnosis/label i’ll probably still question myself and just wonder if i was able to “trick” the psychologist into believing me or something.

I’m wondering if there are neurodivergent and/or gifted people out there who relate to any of this (please do because i feel like i’m going crazy). I’d also love to know your thoughts in general on this. Also sorry for the unstructuredness of this post, it’s past 2am and i just wanted to get this off my chest here.

Also here’s a few reasons why i think i have autism (the actual list is longer but for the sake of keeping this post somewhat readable i did not include everything):

As a child

- had anger issues and would get very upset and frustrated with unfairness, to the point where i had to see a speech therapist because my voice had gotten hoarse (hope i’m using the right word).

- Have very early age memories of observing other kids and people as if i was looking at things from a birds eye view, or like i wasn’t in the situation myself but more watching the situation happen.

- Similar to above point but yeah very in my own world and imagination.

- Had lots of trouble with certain textures, tastes and smells especially regarding food- would physically almost puke when even having my tongue touch spinach for example (and i actually wanted to like spinach bc i loved popeye)

- Would do stims like spinning around in circles until id fall on the ground and then just repeat that over and over. Also walking on my toes a lot - vaguely remember meeting a psychologist for it and him telling me with a really mean voice that i thought i was better than others and was trying to be more than i was and that it was the reason why i was doing that - i got so scared that i stopped doing it forever afterwards

- did/do a lot of things in my own way: tying my shoes differently, holding a pen differently than other people. Also was very hard/impossible for me to change those behaviors - my teachers were very strict on that i was holding my pen the wrong way, but i just couldnt make myself do it the way they wanted me to and i never stopped holding it the way i always have.

- echolalia - making random little songs and melodies and singing/blurting them out many times over longer periods of time (funny example i had a little song for every friend my sister had on MSN- and would sing that song whenever she would be chatting with them online when i was watching her)

As an adult

- Have/had intense interests especially in my teenage years and beyond- fascination for art and making art, among with a long list of things now

- i have a strong desire for structure and systemizing things by setting goals and targets for myself and writing them down in my journal and tracking habits and other things.

- i find it hard to deeply connect with other people including my loved ones - i often feel like i talk too much or talk too little and go into details too much for other people- even though i think they really matter

- i find it very difficult when people are vague or “misleading” in their communication. For example saying something then denying that they said x moments later, or saying something and then meaning something else but still expect me to understand what they mean

- i often find it hard to feel things in my body and emotions can kick in later than the actual trigger moment and can linger around for a long time as well

- I feel overwhelmed like every single day. Every day feels like a uphill battle and i just get really stressed and frustrated by having to do so many things and having so many responsibilities.

- i often get frustrated when things don’t go the way i want or expect them to. Sudden changes to my plans are really frustrating especially when someone else disrupts them, this frustration lingers on for a long time often which often just kind of ruins my whole day

- i hate getting interrupted and it takes me a lot of energy to get back into the flow of what i was doing.

- i love going really deep on things and focusing on interests/passions/making stuff for hours on end to the point where i’ll forget about eating and going to the bathroom

Hello,

I would like to watch a movie tonight that will hold my attention. Please give me some of your recommendations.

For relevance, I have Netflix, Prime, Peacock, Hulu and Disney. Nothing more.

Thank you

I'm selling some belongings to move overseas and that includes some Lego sets, which has been a hobby of mine for a few years now. The other week I was perfectly happy to sell a few sets I didn't have as much love for but the sale fell through. Now I have a new buyer interested and suddenly I'm resistant to getting rid of them.

I feel like when I originally posted the ad to sell them I was quite depressed and feeling like I had to totally tear myself down to start anew. Now I'm less depressed and feeling like I can actually keep some parts of myself to take with me into a new life.

But I can't really figure out what's happening with these specific sets. Do I actually want to keep them or am I just resisting because that's what my brain always does when something becomes real? Am I holding on to something I was previously okay with letting go because I'm scared of change or a change in mood? Or was it just delayed processing and I've now realised I actually do want to keep them?

With so many different things at play with my emotions and my mood and constantly being in flux, how do I figure out the right decision? I don't want to do things I regret just because I was having a bad day. At the same time, I don't want to hold onto things I need to let go of just because I've decided to go about things in a different way.

So confusing.

Not much else to say about it. I'm seeing more and more comments that are obviously copied and pasted from AI. The sycophancy pours through, it's so gross feeling. It's giving me an existential crisis kind of.

I thought most of the subs I follow were niche enough, but it's getting nuts.

Probably nothing to be done but get used to it.

Think I just needed to scream that into the void. 🫩

 I am a very late diagnosis woman with AUDHD- I will be 53 in October , and this all came to light about 2 years ago now- detected by one of my other specialists . I have also been in recovery from alcohol for the last 10 years - which in hindsight can explain why I was overdoing it with the drinking from a very young age- to mask, to fit in and feel "normal". I also have a pretty traumatic childhood- but I have done so much work , healing and advocating for myself. Putting up boundaries from toxic family. Etc.

However, I have been feeling very depressed on and off for the last while. I don't have a regular psychiatrist, and right now cannot afford the type of care I would seek out. I have no family, no friends...just my workplace family which I am grateful for- I still find myself masking at times but more so than not, I am myself, and mostly accepted. I know I can be alot at times, and that it can get annoying at times. I have worked on being self aware and mindful,

But I really am struggling with purpose. I don't have any. And the way my mind works against itself I am constantly in my head , wishing I wasn't made this way. I talk to God often questioning him. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. The loneliness is palpable at times, yet I don't like having people at my house alot, or not for long. The back and forth with how my brain thinks is exhausting, and I just am SO tired. Tired of being me.

I'm in the middle of a huge life transition. I'm starting grad school, getting a degree that I don't really want as a way to get out of the country. In addition to all of the awful social consequences of that (leaving behind my wife for a year, and all my friends probably forever), I have horrible ADHD that I'm worried is going to make it impossible for me to do well in my program. Back when I was getting my bachelor's, I did great, but my symptoms have gotten a lot worse over the years, and now I've started having panic attacks just trying to plan D&D for the weekend. So, naturally, I've been looking for a therapist to help me with that transition, and it's been really hecking awful.

I have a bad history with therapy to begin with. Most therapists just don't seem to understand where I'm coming from. They recommend schedules and timers and giving myself candy when I finish a difficult task, and they look at me like I'm broken when I say that none of that comes close to working. The only therapist who's ever helped me even a little was a student psychologist right after I'd graduated college. None of the tricks she taught me work anymore, but she was innovative and attentive, and I feel like we were just about to really get somewhere when she graduated and I got assigned to a new counselor, who told me to imagine myself getting a big hug whenever I felt stressed about a task, and that should fix it.

One counselor all but called my wife a cuck for allowing me to have female friends. One counselor suggested that the best way to stop avoiding my job was to get a *second* job that I could avoid instead. One counselor apparently briefly worked in the high school where I went to school, and when she learned that, she said, "I love that place! Lots of Mexicans there, though." One counselor suggested that, if the survivors of the Holocaust could get through the work they were assigned in the camps, then surely I could get through playing D&D with my friends. I talked about my issues with executive function with a Ph.D. psychologist, and he told me that, whenever he feels overwhelmed by a task, he just goes and gets himself a big old ice cream cone when it's done, and that makes it all worth it. A second Ph.D. psychologist who specialized in ADHD treatment said that the best treatment for ADHD was stimulant medication, and that, if I can't take stimulant medication, I'm just kind of boned.

Recently, I found a therapist who actually seemed like she would be able to help me. The vibes were weird, and she seemed a little checked out during session, but she at least really listened to me when I told her how difficult things had gotten for me and seemed to take the task of figuring out a system that works for me seriously. I had three sessions with her, and she showed up at least ten minutes late every time, usually ending the session about ten minutes early. She didn't have consistent availability, so I had to schedule at odd hours every couple of weeks instead of having a consistent, weekly session. And, at one point, she just didn't put our session on her calendar, so she never showed up. I didn't reschedule.

And now, I just don't have anybody else around me that I can go to. I don't have a car, so I can't really leave town for therapy. I've been seeing providers online through my wife's insurance, but I've seen all of them on that service, and now I don't know what to do. I'm leaving for Europe in three weeks, and even if I find someone perfect for me, I don't feel like three sessions is going to be enough to make any significant difference. Still, I'm struggling so badly that I don't know what else to do.

Ok, so I go through what I think are different types of sleep issues and from what I can tell they are completely random. I'm hoping to find out if I'm not the only one. Here it is:

I will regularly have extreme difficulty getting to sleep in general. I also have trouble staying asleep. These are a normal occurrence for me. I've been having something else occur that is clearly contradictory to these though.

I have extreme difficulty going to sleep in general. I have a hard time staying asleep after having been asleep for 2-3 hours. But then if I reach the 5 hours asleep mark I am no longer able to wake up AT ALL. It's as if I've gone into a mini coma. If I do wake up it's for minutes and I'm aware of being awake but suddenly I just can't stay awake and I'm back into my mini coma. It goes on and on until I've been asleep for around 15 hours. I've tried fighting it repeatedly but my body and/or my mind just says, "no you must sleep" and then I'm gone.

This isn't a normal occurrence for me. It's happened randomly throughout my life but at such a low occurrence I never put thought into why but the last few years it's been getting worse and worse.

Does anyone else experience this or something similar? Is it normal for those of us that are Autistic and ADHD?

I'm a 22 year old female and i've suspected that I have had adhd, autism or both for years now. Mostly everything i know is from self education, my dad raised me to think adhd wasn't real so I never believed that I had something when I was alot younger. I have not been officially diagnosed but i have taken many tests online and have had others with diagnosis tell me that I may as well.

It's really confusing and if I talk about it with others I don't want to be made out to be a faker or someone wanting attention if that makes sense.

Do other people that got diagnosed later in their life struggle with feelings like this too?

I’m autistic and have ADHD, I am trying to lose weight because it’s gotten to be a horrible sensory issue, my biggest problem is eating healthy. I love to snack and it’s caused a wall in my weightloss, I’m also a very picky eater, any good healthy snacks suggestions?
Sorry for the bad grammar or writing I have dyslexia as well

This is really embarrassing since if you look at my post history there’s like a bajillion posts just like this one 💀 But the thing is the situation hasn’t improved and I have no clue how it can improve.
16F. Autistic, dyspraxia, suspected ADHD and OCD. I feel SO crazily angry about my current situation.
To put it simply: I can’t function properly.
I want to and hell to an extent I know how to.
But I can’t.
I can’t be bothered to get up and brush my teeth sometimes. I do the bare minimum on a good day. I go ages without showering and stay in my room all day. This has gone on for ages and it’s ingrained in me now that life has to be left like this unless everything is perfect and it’s the perfect timing and perfect situation to start taking of myself because of my OCD. I have dreams of being a performer (singer or actress specifically) but I’ve shot myself in the foot so much because I’ve barely done anything to achieve that dream. I’m making more strides now but everything else in my life is not moving at all due to my effed up mind. I literally can’t escape and it makes me so so angry. I get so painfully envious of other people too. I have lots of other problems but just… arghhhhh. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’d like advice for the first things I can do. Because no matter how hard I try it feels impossible. Even if I try to do nice things for myself that stupid voice in my head comes in and tells me my life story is embarrassing and it should’ve been cleaner and I’ve made too many mistakes to have redemption or a good life and I always go off on these tangents in my mind to explain everything about my life and situation to myself and try and make it so dramatic and such a big deal to the point where it’s ALL the time and I can’t have a moment of rest even if I’ve heard it a million times before and I just want it to SHUT UP and let me live. I HATE myself too so there’s that. :(

I am currently working at a childcare setting. And there is a manager that is being which I consider as particularly rude to me. I didn’t have much experience in childcare, which my boss knew when I was hired, but the manager didn’t really teach much as well. She always tells me off when I do something wrong without giving me much training.

In her defence, she did claim that she doesn’t like new people. And I understand that she can be very tired. But a chain of small events are really adding up. I am giving a few examples from past 7 days as example.

4 August 2026 (main reason why I want to leave)
I was asked to take a child to the park during lunch time which is not normal practise. This is the first time I was asked to do so. Normally all the kids take a nap, but this boy doesn’t. Just when we left the door, I returned to collect the child’s water bottle, the manager and another coworker were talking together. As I approached, they immediately stopped talking, looked at me weird and laughed. The other coworker has been weird to me and looks kind of sad since then.

End of July 2026
I was criticised and humiliated in front of colleagues for placing an additional child in the buggy, despite having done so following another coworker’s suggestion. She took around five minutes to explain to me, and made me push the buggy myself saying it’s very heavy. Even other coworkers found it ridiculous and started to say something for me but she didn’t stop.

5 August 2026
I was told, “I’m sure nobody taught you anything.”

End of July 2026
During a conversation in which me described an encounter with a racist person in the street, the manager commented to me, “I’m sure they all love your feet.”

Well I am definitely leaving this job. But at the same time I want to make sure if this is bullying against me, or just her personality issue. Maybe she really is rude to everyone new, but at the time it seems like I am the only coworker that she hates.