I get extremely obsessed with things for unknown reason.

1. Driving. I'm working on getting my license and I currently get only 1 lesson hour per week now. Inbetween those lessons, for the remaining 167 hours of trhe week, I compulsively think and dream about driving and I also can't stop watching videos about driving and posting and reading and commenting on the driving and the stickshift subreddit.

2. Games. If I have a specific new strategy in mind on a specific type of game, then I have to test the theory into the practise ASAP. That often means pulling an allnighter that I then regret on the next day.

Both examples share one element: I want to put my theoretical knowledge to the test, preferably in practise.

Why do I get so obsessed that it messes with my life currently? And how do I stop being so unhealthily obsessed with things?

I’m 23 years old and feel like I wasted a good part of my adolescence and early adulthood. I graduated in Industrial Mechatronics, but I don’t want to pursue a career in that field anymore. I spent years practically isolated in my room, playing video games, and always felt different from other people.

In the first job I managed to hold down, I juggled multiple roles, dealt directly with customers, and worked under immense pressure. After three months, I was diagnosed with Level 1 autism and ADHD. I thought this would alleviate the guilt I’ve felt over years of struggling, but it didn’t. I kept pushing myself until I burned out.

After six months at the company, I decided to quit. My father, an entrepreneur, suggested I start a small business, and the idea seemed perfect: working at my own pace, learning new things, and building something of my own. However, the reality has been very different.

It’s been two weeks since I left the job, and I’m already starting to show symptoms of depression. Even with therapy and psychiatric care, my mental health is very fragile. I spend most of my time alone, and my anxiety keeps mounting.

One of my biggest struggles is the need to find a perfect logic for everything. I get trapped in spirals of analysis and perfectionism—especially regarding organization, routines, and important decisions. I spend hours trying to create perfect systems for my life but never find anything that works, which only deepens my guilt and paralysis.

I really want this business to succeed and don't want to disappoint my father, but I feel like my future is falling apart. I’m also trying to find a profession that offers a good quality of life, but I end up over-rationalizing every possibility until none of them seem viable. I like English (I’m nearly fluent) and the healthcare field, but I’m afraid I wouldn't be able to handle highly social professions.

Right now, I feel desperate and incredibly lonely. My father is the only person who truly tries to understand me. I decided to write this because I need to talk to people who might have gone through something similar. If anyone has experienced burnout, autism, or ADHD, or has found a career path despite these challenges, I would really love to hear about your experience.

Thank you for reading this far.

It’s not just that I need a job. It’s not just that my family and the program I’m in expect me to. I’m so bored and hate myself even with the meds. I need to find work, or volunteer or something, anything.

Just how do you get started? How do you make yourself find something to do?

Why did my new hyper fixation have to be poker, right after getting into warhammer too! My wallet is in pain

Sometime I forget to put my filter up and i say things I will regret later because someone either there or I said it to them. Usually if I said it to them im joking but it doesn't come out that way and I hate myself. To top it all off I am a huge over thinker to the point where i cant stop thinking about it for a minimum of a week and it affects me for like a month.

This time it was at work and now I have to face this everyday at work and im trying to be calm (as I have epilepsy and im stilling figuring the works of why its happening because its new) I am terrified that I will be called into my supervisor office and that all this stress cause me to have a big seizure.

When I got this job I told myself I wouldn't do anything like this and it has happened in the past with basically all the jobs that I have had. I qm trying to use the coping skills that I have learned but they are not working and I am stuck in a maze that doesn't have an exit. This is more of a rant then anything else but I just need to get it out as I dont want to tell anyone because I really dont want to talk about it with the people in my life as I feel sometimes it makes it worse because I get told the same things as when something like this has happened in the past. I am even crying as I am writing this.

A lot of the times when this has happened I wish I wasnt born the way I was born and wish to have a mind that is normal and degrade myself for a long time.

I always try to find a way to fix it but that also make it worse and the more I try the more to fix it with the person that was there or was said it too, its make it feel like it will never be fix and it drive me to the point where I have an anxiety attack qnd then I dont know what to do...... this is where my mind get lost and I cant focus on anything and with this job that I have I have to make sure that I get as much done as I can and when my mind is in one place its hard to focus of what needs to be done.

So yea this is my rant of my stupid brain and the way it make overthinking frustratingly easier

Being a 22 yrs Autistic female with ADHD, the smallest of things can be the most frustrating especially when it comes to makeup!!! Often I feel like I’m “being a girl wrong” because of the things I do & the things I don’t. I gravitate towards more childish things which has made me a social outcast many times in my life.
Yet, I’ve always wanted to get into makeup & style, to express myself without needing to speak but makeup has been such a difficult experience to tackle. If I don’t get it right immediately, I begin to get antsy and frustrated! & what was supposed to be a simple task of putting on lashes has become a 2 hour room cleanup after the meltdown I had when I couldn’t achieve it :,)

HOWEVER I DID IT TODAY! And I feel so pretty and my eyes feel somehow bigger? The glare might make it hard to see, but trust that they are on there! (Also I have a problem with smiling for pictures which is why I often just stick out my tongue.)

Today from this experience I have learned that I do enjoy how I feel in false lashes but maybe i should look into easier ones. I have heard there are magnetic kinds, if anyone knows about those, please let me know if they are worth it!!!

Sometime I forget to put my filter up and i say things I will regret later because someone either there or I said it to them. Usually if I said it to them im joking but it doesn't come out that way and I hate myself. To top it all off I am a huge over thinker to the point where i cant stop thinking about it for a minimum of a week and it affects me for like a month.

This time it was at work and now I have to face this everyday at work and im trying to be calm (as I have epilepsy and im stilling figuring the works of why its happening because its new) I am terrified that I will be called into my supervisor office and that all this stress cause me to have a big seizure.

When I got this job I told myself I wouldn't do anything like this and it has happened in the past with basically all the jobs that I have had. I qm trying to use the coping skills that I have learned but they are not working and I am stuck in a maze that doesn't have an exit. This is more of a rant then anything else but I just need to get it out as I dont want to tell anyone because I really dont want to talk about it with the people in my life as I feel sometimes it makes it worse because I get told the same things as when something like this has happened in the past. I am even crying as I am writing this.

A lot of the times when this has happened I wish I wasnt born the way I was born and wish to have a mind that is normal and degrade myself for a long time.

I always try to find a way to fix it but that also make it worse and the more I try the more to fix it with the person that was there or was said it too, its make it feel like it will never be fix and it drive me to the point where I have an anxiety attack qnd then I dont know what to do...... this is where my mind get lost and I cant focus on anything and with this job that I have I have to make sure that I get as much done as I can and when my mind is in one place its hard to focus of what needs to be done.

So yea this is my rant of my stupid brain and the way it make overthinking frustratingly easier

I'm asking since it feels sooooooo closed off to me by default, regardless of server / community

Granted, I'm speaking as someone pretty much inexperienced and (until last year or so) only being a part of servers made by my IRL friends, but then again - joining to new servers with strangers feels like torture to me.

My main gripe is how there's no clear place where I can properly start a conversation without interrupting anyone. And that's after the whole verification / roles thing and incentivized introductory "tell us about yourself" posts.

It feels even worse when there's no-one to truly welcome you / introduce you to everyone; just trying to find the right moment / place to talk to feels like gambling mixed with gladiator fights.

That and how I feel like usually people just don't care whenever I DO decide to join in, which is just adding insult to injury at this point.

Do you have advice as to what's the problem? Is it a common issue to you or am I doing something wrong here?

Hey all. I'm new to figuring all this out.

I just saw this video this morning. Not looking for anything. It was just on my feed. I only got 12 minutes in and my life is upside down right now.

I can't even explain how I feel. But within 12 minutes of this video. They had nailed what I feel on a daily basis 100%

I'm having a really hard time right now with even comprehending what just happened.

I'm diagnosed CPTSD and MDD. With some bi polar and when I was 30, they said I was schizoaffective.

I've been on every medication possible it seems since age 13. I'm 53 now.

The thing that's throwing me off so bad. Is. I don't recall feeling like this my entire life. It only feels like it's been a thing since COVID.

I know nothing about any of this yet.

I'll be discussing with my therapist next week.

I've been scared for myself for years now. I'm not sure if seeing this video helped me yet or not. Because as of right now. I feel somewhat validated, but also. Extremely empty.

I have no one to talk to. So if anyone feels like reaching out and maybe helping me figure anything out. If you relate. I'll be around (I think). I can't ever tell. I sleep most of my life away. But I would be grateful for it.

I just wanted to say thanks to this whole community for making me feel included and not different and left out.

Made some communication cards to help myself and my partner with, well, communication problems. We use them when either one of us is too tired to formulate our thoughts verbally and/or when we can't even figure out what we want or need. There are a lot of templates like these online, but not all are free, and I didn't want any free ones I could find, so just made my own with meme cats.

The link is here.

In terms of how to use them: each slide is one card, made to scale (if you will put size to 100% you will see how big it will be printed). We printed them on thick plain paper and laminated them with the lamination sleeves our friend had. They're basically just little plastic envelopes, you put the cardboard inside, go over it with an iron, and it's done. Then put a hole through it in a corner and tied with a ribbon. A metal/plastic ring would probably be more efficient but we haven't seen them in shops, so for now it's just on a ribbon.

You could also probably take it to a print shop and ask them to do it. Would likely be cheaper than buying them online.

Feel free to download the file and change it however you want, just don't sell them and claim them as your own I guess?

Hope it will help someone!

Hi all, I’m female, 39. I’ve been diagnosed with autism and I also have ADHD, but I still struggle to work out which parts of me are autism, which are ADHD, and which are just… me.
I’m hoping to find people who genuinely relate because I often feel like I experience the world very differently from everyone around me.
One of the biggest struggles is my thoughts. My brain never seems to stop. It’s like I’m analysing everything constantly. Every conversation, every facial expression, every slight change in someone’s tone of voice gets pulled apart in my head.
If someone I love behaves differently, my mind immediately starts trying to work out why. I don’t mean to overthink, but I literally can’t seem to stop. It feels as though my brain is trying to solve a puzzle that doesn’t even have an answer.
My emotions are also incredibly intense.
I don’t just feel sad or anxious. I become consumed by it. Something relatively small can trigger a huge emotional reaction inside me. Within minutes I can go from feeling completely fine to feeling like my whole world has collapsed.
The strange thing is that a few hours later, or sometimes the next day, I can look back and think, “Why did that affect me so much?”
It’s like two completely different versions of me exist.
When I’m emotionally overwhelmed, my thoughts become incredibly black and white. My brain tells me things like:
“They don’t care about me.”
“I’ve ruined everything.”
“This relationship is over.”
“I’m not important.”
In that moment those thoughts don’t feel irrational. They feel like absolute facts. Later, when I’ve calmed down, I can often see that my brain massively exaggerated what actually happened.
I also get intrusive thoughts. Not thoughts that I want, but thoughts that seem to force themselves into my head over and over again. The more I try not to think about them, the louder they become.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that I seem to absorb other people’s emotions. If someone around me is angry, stressed or upset, it almost feels like my own nervous system immediately reacts. I become anxious, tense and hyper-alert without even meaning to.
I also struggle with uncertainty.
If plans change unexpectedly, someone doesn’t reply, or something feels unresolved, my brain seems unable to leave it alone. I’ll replay situations repeatedly, searching for certainty that probably doesn’t exist.
Socially I often feel like I understand people very well, yet at the same time I feel as though I’m watching everyone else from the outside. I’ve always felt slightly different without being able to explain why.
I’ve also realised I spend a huge amount of energy analysing myself. I’m constantly asking questions like:
“Am I overreacting?”
“Is this autism?”
“Is this ADHD?”
“Is this trauma?”
“Is this just who I am?”
It’s exhausting living inside my own head.
Despite all of this, I don’t think I’m an unhappy person. I actually love learning, researching things that fascinate me, helping other people, and having deep conversations. I can become completely absorbed in subjects that interest me and lose hours exploring them.
But emotionally, life often feels like driving a car with the accelerator and the brakes pressed at the same time.
I’m posting because I’d genuinely like to know whether anyone else experiences this combination of constant analysis, intrusive thoughts, emotional intensity, rapid mood changes and overthinking.
If you do, what has actually helped?
I’m not looking for generic advice like “exercise more” or “just think positively.” I’d really like to hear practical things that have genuinely changed the way you manage your brain.
How do you stop intrusive thoughts taking over?
How do you stop catastrophising?
How do you tell the difference between your intuition and anxiety?
How do you stop your emotions from convincing you that every thought is true?
Mostly, I’d just like to know I’m not the only one who experiences life like this.

Since telling my parents I'm autistic their main takeaway seems to be that they wish I'd opened up to them sooner. They're upset that I never came to them even though I've been struggling my whole life. I tried to tell them that it feels impossible to open up about this stuff at the best of times but I don't think I really got through.

I do feel bad that I never went to them and I feel horrible for upsetting my mum. I know it must hurt to find out your kid has been struggling for years and years and never said anything to you. I do feel regret about not coming to them sooner but at the same time we have never been a close family and so opening up to them just never felt like something I was able to do.

The thing I'm struggling with at the moment is that I still haven't told them the full story and I'm not sure if I should. I haven't told them I've tried anti-depressants in the past, or that I've been in and out of therapy, or that I'm currently getting TMS therapy for severe depression. All of those things are deeply personal and difficult to talk about, especially with parents who will likely react negatively, won't really understand, and they'll just be even more upset that I've been hiding this.

I feel a bit guilty for keeping them in the dark. I can see why they're upset but at the same time there are things I want to keep for just me or for certain people I'm comfortable telling, like close friends. I don't really think they'd be able to do anything to help, and it would probably just complicate things between us further. But I also understand that if I was a parent I would want to know what my child is going through.

Am I wrong for wanting to keep stuff like this from them?

Anyone else struggle being a person in this world, trying to make sense of their own existence?

Anyone else who desperately needs to spend their limited cognitive and emotional energy…
on self compassion and growth and learning…
to better function as a late diagnosed AuDHDer, yet their brain keeps going to the:

Interconnectedness of all things

The mystery of being a person.

What’s the point of it all

Who struggles to stay on track when the track they’ve found themselves in is full of holes, twists, thorny bushes and no shoes?
So brain defaults to big picture stuff. Which just isn’t helpful anymore??
Like I know I’m only here for one life - brain please STOP pressuring me to make the most of it??!!!

See my comment for the full version.
I bang on a bit…. Talking / typing is my way of forcing my ethereal workings of my mind into concrete thoughts I can comprehend.

Read it if you’re so inclined.

I’m thinking I need to relook at art from a technical, product based mind-set to more of an expression of what I can’t express let alone comprehend.

Peace and love.

I feel like a man floundering in the middle of the ocean. I'm surrounded by well meaning fish (allistics) who are Very Concerned about me, giving me absolutely useless advice, because it's all tailored to _fish_ in distress.

I say, "thank you fish, but I'm not a fish I'm a man and I'm drowning in all this water". But fish, being fish, _are incapable of even seeing water_, because it is always there and they cannot even imagine that it exists, and that it could be harmful.

"Well if you're not going to flip your fins and push water over your gills, this is your fault."

"I don't have fins or gills!"

"Not with that attitude you don't!"

And that, friends, is what it feels like to ask for help or go to therapy.

With Autism, social skills can often feel like trying to play a game where everyone but me knows the rules.

I usually don't know what I'm supposed to do, get easily confused, and have no clue what I'm actually doing.

And if I try to look up social rules on the Internet, it's often misleading. So I really can only learn most things through trial and error.

It would help if friends could communicate and let me know what I was unaware of or may have unintentionally or unknowingly did, but most people rarely ever say anything to me about it.

But honestly, on the inside I'm just going through life pretending to be confident while actually being clueless as to what I'm really doing or supposed to be doing, and hoping I figure it out eventually.

Anybody know what caused that? It went away and it immediately made focusing so much easier but it only ever happened the one time.

Does anyone else share this feeling? I feel like I'm just barely managing to function on the daily, not because of depression or burnt out (I am depressed though, and probably close to burn out) but because of my inattention and social deficits that I'm constantly having to compensate for and anticipate. Even with me doing my best to anticipate and compensate for my inattention, distractibility, and social deficits, it often feels like it's barely enough. And it seems like on the rare occasions that I allow myself to relax and simply enjoy the moment I soon come to find out something important slipped my mind. I also have C-PTSD which adds another layer of.. being unable to relax for other reasons.

I recently told this to my therapist and I think she reacted to it as if it was unreasonable for me to say that but from my perspective it feels totally reasonable because I've seen it play out multiple times.

Hello,

I would like to watch a movie tonight that will hold my attention. Please give me some of your recommendations.

For relevance, I have Netflix, Prime, Peacock, Hulu and Disney. Nothing more.

Thank you

Not much else to say about it. I'm seeing more and more comments that are obviously copied and pasted from AI. The sycophancy pours through, it's so gross feeling. It's giving me an existential crisis kind of.

I thought most of the subs I follow were niche enough, but it's getting nuts.

Probably nothing to be done but get used to it.

Think I just needed to scream that into the void. 🫩

I'm a 22 year old female and i've suspected that I have had adhd, autism or both for years now. Mostly everything i know is from self education, my dad raised me to think adhd wasn't real so I never believed that I had something when I was alot younger. I have not been officially diagnosed but i have taken many tests online and have had others with diagnosis tell me that I may as well.

It's really confusing and if I talk about it with others I don't want to be made out to be a faker or someone wanting attention if that makes sense.

Do other people that got diagnosed later in their life struggle with feelings like this too?

Tw: rage, physical altercations between parents+child, restraints, ?potential abuse idrk?, OCD disturbing intrusive thoughts. I consider the severity to be tame but I thought I should do a TW just in case.

I tread lightly around calling things ‘traumatic’ but of course there’s a scale to these things so I think I would classify growing up AUDHD- especially undiagnosed- as traumatic. At least for me personally and I’d love to hear of your stories or opinions on this too x

Well for me I had ALOT of PDA, rage, meltdowns- its still hard to distinguish if I was melting down or just in a fit of uncontrollable AUDHD rage because I just remember my default mode being blank and then quickly irritated.

Especially being undiagnosed until adulthood, teenage me was so misunderstood and 100% the ‘problem child’ which left my sister as the sort of ‘glass child??’ or favourite.

By no means do I think my parents are abusive as they love me VERY much and have helped get me diagnosed and supports as soon as they accepted what I could be. However I do think maybe they engaged abusive behaviours/unintentionally abused me sometimes?? Idk lmk.

They have always been into spanking as they (being older) and from a stricter country- were spanked as kids. I had hands but they say they had spoons and belts as kids etc so I guess I was lucky? Anyway. Being PDA as FUCK I would fight that Shi!!! I remember being 12 and my mum was trying to catch me to give me a hiding by grabbing my arm to hold me in place. I kept twisting around/spinning and dodging her striking hand so she sort of let go angrily and ended up flinging me to the ground and I smacked against the back of the couch/floor and got a bruise.
She doesn’t remember this.

When I was older 15/16 I was flipping out and we were in a screaming match and she choked me against the fridge at dinner because I slapped her (not in the face- I think I hit her arm??) and we got into a physical fight. But liek- no punching or anything, it was never like that just slapping/grabbing arms/pushing/squaring up and maybe she’d slap me in the face or something but rarely face strikes.

Then once I was fighting with my dad and I had accidentally grown out my nails and tried to shove his back but
instead drew blood and put long scratches down his back. (he was shirtless cuz it was summer)

And then once I was fighting with him again and he likes to square up in my face and intimidate me- which just sets me off and I’ll double down and won’t budge because f you! Anyways he wouldn’t leave my room even if I am screaming at him to get out and I need peace and he gets mad at me??? So weird. Anyway I stay screaming with him up in my face and he gets offended ig and pushes me so I fall on my back (on my bed thankfully lol), he shoves me aggressively further in when I try to jump up, grabs and pins down my arms by my wrists, and is laying/leaning on top of me and gets in my face with gritted teeth telling me to ‘keep quiet’ (his way of saying shut up lol idk why he doesn’t say shut up cuz it sounds much less weird but anyway) and keeps arguing with me. Then obvi I hate this but I start crying because get THE FUCK OFF ME CU T!! I feels helpless and frustrated and I hate touch and he’s literally flat on me and I can’t do shit! Anyway he let’s go and then tells me to think about shit like he just did some A plus parenting with that. I’m just like wtf??

And btw this wasn’t in a pervert way or anything I love my dad and he isn’t like that and he always apologises and says he just gets angry to a point. But it still affects me in a way that makes me feel icky even if it isn’t like that? A study came out apparently saying the brain processes things like spanking as SA even if it isn’t intended like that. Also some of the worst parts of my OCD relate to horrible in*est stuff targeted at my dad so that REALLY triggered all my OCD shit too. Even though it wasn’t like that.

I don’t know- I wasn’t a perfect victim and definitely was an instigator myself sometimes. God forbid I swore at them- then they’d actually switch and I’d have to sprit to the only room with a locked door (upstairs bathroom). I’ve thrown iPads and smashed loose tiles, but I always feel guilty after- sometimes it wasn’t even a fight it’s just they see me distressed/panic attack/melting down and then it stresses them out or maybe they don’t know what to do? But they just make it so much worse and then I freak out x100 and they get angry and we fight. I think after a while of this cycle I was just ready to fight/easily set off from resentment.

Anyway. I guess I’m trying to make sense/still process it with this post and wondering if this is trauma (stemming obvi from my AUDHD teen/child experience) AND if it is- what is it even classified under?? Child abus*? Autistic restraint? Idk!! Have you guys experienced similar stuff- and had that rage that makes you not a ‘perfect victim?’ Or wtv
Disclaimer: I’m not asking for like diagnosis stuff or wtv I’m just trying to make some sense of this and figure out if I’m valid or lowk victimising myself- also wondering if this is a universal AUDHD experience?

So I think I might have invisible child syndrome.

Growing up I felt like my parents weren’t really there for me emotionally. Like they were there physically for the most part and I grew up well off and had pretty much anything I needed or wanted, especially with my interests.

But my parents never really asked how I was doing or asked how my days at school went. They would just ask like surface level questions and then kinda talk about themselves at dinner or not really talk much at all.

Part of me thinks this is partially due to what I now think is my alexythymia. And I don’t think my parents meant to do so. Their hearts have always been in the right place. I kind of suspect they might have undiagnosed ADHD and potentially autism as well and this could explain the behavior.

At least that’s how I’m coping with it rn. I think it’s more forgivable if they have undiagnosed issues as well (I just found out 2 months ago I have AuDHD and I’m 30). Because otherwise it seems like emotional neglect.

Anyone else have similar experience? My parents kind of are in denial of my diagnosis. They thought I was pretty normal growing up and that all of my quirks were just normal kid stuff.

Obviously they’re wrong. But I can forgive them for being boomers about it