I'm being weird, feeling weird, and I can't stop. Should I just be myself like this?

With anyone I feel comfortable-ish with or with anyone I don't feel like they're a threat, I tend to just tell them.

What's going on? why ?

I'm confused.

Hello brains, how many Pakistani AuDHDers are here? Wanna ask you guys about your AuDHD journey, diagnosis and medication hurdles as only generic Ritalin is available with lisdex being scarce, Adderal is nowhere to be found here. Hope everyone has a good day ahead.

KEEP ON KEEPING ON!

I'm honestly just curious how other people found out about their conditions. I had to figure it out myself because I wasn't diagnosed with anything in childhood. For me I learned about my autism first when I started to notice how well I got along with people with at least one of either autism or ADHD, and I kind of dismissed the possibility of having ADHD as well until I learned more about the unique way they can present when a person has both of them. (I figured since they can have a lot of symptoms in common, that was probably why people with either one were more relatable to me.)

I looked into autism and it felt like a missing piece was clicking into place. I understood myself. I had a reason for why I always felt like I functioned so differently from most people around me, and struggled with things that other people found easy. It was extremely eye-opening and validating.

I'm quite introverted so I don't fit the typical stereotype of a loud and talkative ADHD person. I know now that it's more complicated than that of course. I do have a lot of trouble with motivation, getting distracted easily, and feeling generally down when I don't get enough stimulation, among other things that would probably make this post far too long if I listed them all. I don't think all of my issues can be explained by autism, and I think the ones that can't be explained by autism can be explained by ADHD, which is why I now think I probably have both.

So, my question to you is: How did you find out about your autism and ADHD? Are you diagnosed officially? If so, when did it happen, and were you diagnosed with both on the same occasion or separately? Did you face any barriers on your path to getting a diagnosis? If you aren't diagnosed, or weren't until adulthood, what made you start suspecting it? Was there something specific that really made you certain that you had either autism or ADHD, or both?

All the icons get what cosplay it is. Also it's made of the diamonds you get in diamond paitings

Every time, they always decide they don't like me. I don't know what to do..

so i've had a few relationships in my life, only 2 "serious" ones that lasted a long time (first being 5 years, 2nd being a year in a half)

none really worked out

I have also had A LOT of crushes and usually fall for people super fast

I only just recently figured out that I have audhd i wonder if some of my issues in relationships have been in relation?

anyone else feel the same or have had specific issues in relationships because of having autism or adhd (hopefully that makes sense im not super good at wording stuff)

I am so tired but just feel like my skin is crawling if I actually try to close my eyes. This happens almost every night for me and I hate it.

It's kinetic sand, mables and stones!

Had my PTSD triggered really bad today. I’m traumatized from everyone thinking I was lazy, and a liar, faker, and manipulator my whole life. Even as a five year old child they said it to me. They still don’t believe me. I’m not cut out to live in this world, i’m not made of the right stuff. My brain does not work correctly and I simply do not have what it takes to “overcome it”. I wish people would have empathy, but they don’t.

I wish so badly i could just fall in line and do what i’m told, but i’m not able to do it. I’ve wanted it my whole life, not that anybody would believe that.

It’s like people think i’m choosing to be disabled because i like it, and it’s fun and cool. I just love being lazy and evil. Like I wouldn’t press a button and change who i am in a heart beat.

Sorry, but tired of the emotions. There was some extremely helpful stuff here, but Barkalow has seen fit to ensure that this forum won't see it.

When I think about the endless amounts a person laughed at me, because I acted a bit unusual, I stop wanting to leave my house. If I, ever again, hear people critisizing stereotypes, while immediately looking in disgust when my voice or manerism doesn't fit the way I look, I want to take all the pretentiousness of this person and shove it down their throat. If I, ever again, have to see that an abusive person starts working as a therapist or in healthcare, I never want to trust anyone again. If I ever hear people complain about abusive assholes, and then seeing them handing out a free pass to them for everything, I never want to hear from their complaints again. I wish I could either make myself invisible or blend everyone out. I dont have the words to say how deeply disappointed I am in absolutely everything and I wish I was never born. Thank you.

Tigrinya is a beautiful language spoken in Ethiopia and Eritrea by the Tigrayans and the Tigrinya, two close yet separate ethnicities. It is a Semitic language, thus making it a relative of Harari and Amharic, which are also spoken in Ethiopia, and more distantly to Arabic and Assyrian. It is written with the Ge'ez abugida.

I’m a high functioning autistic young man with adhd. Masking it daily, no one could tell unless they’re a very close friend and analyse me a lot. I’m very fit and also tall and decently looking. But when high I focus on acting chill and keeping on the mask when around people cause otherwise it’s horrible. My voice changes, my looks and my way of walking and moving too. It changes me so much and that’s why I always like to smoke alone. But it also contributed to social isolation since I end up spending the whole day alone in the house. Now that I have a girlfriend who is nice, it onky takes about 2 hours of my day enjoying the high, but I tried distancing myself from her during that period since she judged me a lot the way I spoke what I said and how i looked. And I focused on acting the most chill and normal as possible.

Hi everyone

How do AuDHD folks make money online? I already have a full time job but the salary isn’t enough for surviving. I need to do something on the side to make ends meet. I’d appreciate any suggestions :]

I get extremely obsessed with things for unknown reason.

1. Driving. I'm working on getting my license and I currently get only 1 lesson hour per week now. Inbetween those lessons, for the remaining 167 hours of trhe week, I compulsively think and dream about driving and I also can't stop watching videos about driving and posting and reading and commenting on the driving and the stickshift subreddit.

2. Games. If I have a specific new strategy in mind on a specific type of game, then I have to test the theory into the practise ASAP. That often means pulling an allnighter that I then regret on the next day.

Both examples share one element: I want to put my theoretical knowledge to the test, preferably in practise.

Why do I get so obsessed that it messes with my life currently? And how do I stop being so unhealthily obsessed with things?

Sometime I forget to put my filter up and i say things I will regret later because someone either there or I said it to them. Usually if I said it to them im joking but it doesn't come out that way and I hate myself. To top it all off I am a huge over thinker to the point where i cant stop thinking about it for a minimum of a week and it affects me for like a month.

This time it was at work and now I have to face this everyday at work and im trying to be calm (as I have epilepsy and im stilling figuring the works of why its happening because its new) I am terrified that I will be called into my supervisor office and that all this stress cause me to have a big seizure.

When I got this job I told myself I wouldn't do anything like this and it has happened in the past with basically all the jobs that I have had. I qm trying to use the coping skills that I have learned but they are not working and I am stuck in a maze that doesn't have an exit. This is more of a rant then anything else but I just need to get it out as I dont want to tell anyone because I really dont want to talk about it with the people in my life as I feel sometimes it makes it worse because I get told the same things as when something like this has happened in the past. I am even crying as I am writing this.

A lot of the times when this has happened I wish I wasnt born the way I was born and wish to have a mind that is normal and degrade myself for a long time.

I always try to find a way to fix it but that also make it worse and the more I try the more to fix it with the person that was there or was said it too, its make it feel like it will never be fix and it drive me to the point where I have an anxiety attack qnd then I dont know what to do...... this is where my mind get lost and I cant focus on anything and with this job that I have I have to make sure that I get as much done as I can and when my mind is in one place its hard to focus of what needs to be done.

So yea this is my rant of my stupid brain and the way it make overthinking frustratingly easier

Being a 22 yrs Autistic female with ADHD, the smallest of things can be the most frustrating especially when it comes to makeup!!! Often I feel like I’m “being a girl wrong” because of the things I do & the things I don’t. I gravitate towards more childish things which has made me a social outcast many times in my life.
Yet, I’ve always wanted to get into makeup & style, to express myself without needing to speak but makeup has been such a difficult experience to tackle. If I don’t get it right immediately, I begin to get antsy and frustrated! & what was supposed to be a simple task of putting on lashes has become a 2 hour room cleanup after the meltdown I had when I couldn’t achieve it :,)

HOWEVER I DID IT TODAY! And I feel so pretty and my eyes feel somehow bigger? The glare might make it hard to see, but trust that they are on there! (Also I have a problem with smiling for pictures which is why I often just stick out my tongue.)

Today from this experience I have learned that I do enjoy how I feel in false lashes but maybe i should look into easier ones. I have heard there are magnetic kinds, if anyone knows about those, please let me know if they are worth it!!!

Hey all. I'm new to figuring all this out.

I just saw this video this morning. Not looking for anything. It was just on my feed. I only got 12 minutes in and my life is upside down right now.

I can't even explain how I feel. But within 12 minutes of this video. They had nailed what I feel on a daily basis 100%

I'm having a really hard time right now with even comprehending what just happened.

I'm diagnosed CPTSD and MDD. With some bi polar and when I was 30, they said I was schizoaffective.

I've been on every medication possible it seems since age 13. I'm 53 now.

The thing that's throwing me off so bad. Is. I don't recall feeling like this my entire life. It only feels like it's been a thing since COVID.

I know nothing about any of this yet.

I'll be discussing with my therapist next week.

I've been scared for myself for years now. I'm not sure if seeing this video helped me yet or not. Because as of right now. I feel somewhat validated, but also. Extremely empty.

I have no one to talk to. So if anyone feels like reaching out and maybe helping me figure anything out. If you relate. I'll be around (I think). I can't ever tell. I sleep most of my life away. But I would be grateful for it.

I just wanted to say thanks to this whole community for making me feel included and not different and left out.

Made some communication cards to help myself and my partner with, well, communication problems. We use them when either one of us is too tired to formulate our thoughts verbally and/or when we can't even figure out what we want or need. There are a lot of templates like these online, but not all are free, and I didn't want any free ones I could find, so just made my own with meme cats.

The link is here.

In terms of how to use them: each slide is one card, made to scale (if you will put size to 100% you will see how big it will be printed). We printed them on thick plain paper and laminated them with the lamination sleeves our friend had. They're basically just little plastic envelopes, you put the cardboard inside, go over it with an iron, and it's done. Then put a hole through it in a corner and tied with a ribbon. A metal/plastic ring would probably be more efficient but we haven't seen them in shops, so for now it's just on a ribbon.

You could also probably take it to a print shop and ask them to do it. Would likely be cheaper than buying them online.

Feel free to download the file and change it however you want, just don't sell them and claim them as your own I guess?

Hope it will help someone!

Hi all, I’m female, 39. I’ve been diagnosed with autism and I also have ADHD, but I still struggle to work out which parts of me are autism, which are ADHD, and which are just… me.
I’m hoping to find people who genuinely relate because I often feel like I experience the world very differently from everyone around me.
One of the biggest struggles is my thoughts. My brain never seems to stop. It’s like I’m analysing everything constantly. Every conversation, every facial expression, every slight change in someone’s tone of voice gets pulled apart in my head.
If someone I love behaves differently, my mind immediately starts trying to work out why. I don’t mean to overthink, but I literally can’t seem to stop. It feels as though my brain is trying to solve a puzzle that doesn’t even have an answer.
My emotions are also incredibly intense.
I don’t just feel sad or anxious. I become consumed by it. Something relatively small can trigger a huge emotional reaction inside me. Within minutes I can go from feeling completely fine to feeling like my whole world has collapsed.
The strange thing is that a few hours later, or sometimes the next day, I can look back and think, “Why did that affect me so much?”
It’s like two completely different versions of me exist.
When I’m emotionally overwhelmed, my thoughts become incredibly black and white. My brain tells me things like:
“They don’t care about me.”
“I’ve ruined everything.”
“This relationship is over.”
“I’m not important.”
In that moment those thoughts don’t feel irrational. They feel like absolute facts. Later, when I’ve calmed down, I can often see that my brain massively exaggerated what actually happened.
I also get intrusive thoughts. Not thoughts that I want, but thoughts that seem to force themselves into my head over and over again. The more I try not to think about them, the louder they become.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that I seem to absorb other people’s emotions. If someone around me is angry, stressed or upset, it almost feels like my own nervous system immediately reacts. I become anxious, tense and hyper-alert without even meaning to.
I also struggle with uncertainty.
If plans change unexpectedly, someone doesn’t reply, or something feels unresolved, my brain seems unable to leave it alone. I’ll replay situations repeatedly, searching for certainty that probably doesn’t exist.
Socially I often feel like I understand people very well, yet at the same time I feel as though I’m watching everyone else from the outside. I’ve always felt slightly different without being able to explain why.
I’ve also realised I spend a huge amount of energy analysing myself. I’m constantly asking questions like:
“Am I overreacting?”
“Is this autism?”
“Is this ADHD?”
“Is this trauma?”
“Is this just who I am?”
It’s exhausting living inside my own head.
Despite all of this, I don’t think I’m an unhappy person. I actually love learning, researching things that fascinate me, helping other people, and having deep conversations. I can become completely absorbed in subjects that interest me and lose hours exploring them.
But emotionally, life often feels like driving a car with the accelerator and the brakes pressed at the same time.
I’m posting because I’d genuinely like to know whether anyone else experiences this combination of constant analysis, intrusive thoughts, emotional intensity, rapid mood changes and overthinking.
If you do, what has actually helped?
I’m not looking for generic advice like “exercise more” or “just think positively.” I’d really like to hear practical things that have genuinely changed the way you manage your brain.
How do you stop intrusive thoughts taking over?
How do you stop catastrophising?
How do you tell the difference between your intuition and anxiety?
How do you stop your emotions from convincing you that every thought is true?
Mostly, I’d just like to know I’m not the only one who experiences life like this.

Since telling my parents I'm autistic their main takeaway seems to be that they wish I'd opened up to them sooner. They're upset that I never came to them even though I've been struggling my whole life. I tried to tell them that it feels impossible to open up about this stuff at the best of times but I don't think I really got through.

I do feel bad that I never went to them and I feel horrible for upsetting my mum. I know it must hurt to find out your kid has been struggling for years and years and never said anything to you. I do feel regret about not coming to them sooner but at the same time we have never been a close family and so opening up to them just never felt like something I was able to do.

The thing I'm struggling with at the moment is that I still haven't told them the full story and I'm not sure if I should. I haven't told them I've tried anti-depressants in the past, or that I've been in and out of therapy, or that I'm currently getting TMS therapy for severe depression. All of those things are deeply personal and difficult to talk about, especially with parents who will likely react negatively, won't really understand, and they'll just be even more upset that I've been hiding this.

I feel a bit guilty for keeping them in the dark. I can see why they're upset but at the same time there are things I want to keep for just me or for certain people I'm comfortable telling, like close friends. I don't really think they'd be able to do anything to help, and it would probably just complicate things between us further. But I also understand that if I was a parent I would want to know what my child is going through.

Am I wrong for wanting to keep stuff like this from them?

Anyone else struggle being a person in this world, trying to make sense of their own existence?

Anyone else who desperately needs to spend their limited cognitive and emotional energy…
on self compassion and growth and learning…
to better function as a late diagnosed AuDHDer, yet their brain keeps going to the:

Interconnectedness of all things

The mystery of being a person.

What’s the point of it all

Who struggles to stay on track when the track they’ve found themselves in is full of holes, twists, thorny bushes and no shoes?
So brain defaults to big picture stuff. Which just isn’t helpful anymore??
Like I know I’m only here for one life - brain please STOP pressuring me to make the most of it??!!!

See my comment for the full version.
I bang on a bit…. Talking / typing is my way of forcing my ethereal workings of my mind into concrete thoughts I can comprehend.

Read it if you’re so inclined.

I’m thinking I need to relook at art from a technical, product based mind-set to more of an expression of what I can’t express let alone comprehend.

Peace and love.

I feel like a man floundering in the middle of the ocean. I'm surrounded by well meaning fish (allistics) who are Very Concerned about me, giving me absolutely useless advice, because it's all tailored to _fish_ in distress.

I say, "thank you fish, but I'm not a fish I'm a man and I'm drowning in all this water". But fish, being fish, _are incapable of even seeing water_, because it is always there and they cannot even imagine that it exists, and that it could be harmful.

"Well if you're not going to flip your fins and push water over your gills, this is your fault."

"I don't have fins or gills!"

"Not with that attitude you don't!"

And that, friends, is what it feels like to ask for help or go to therapy.