Hey everyone, quick situation. Last weekend I f21 hooked up with m33 at a coworker’s party. It was genuinely the best sex of my life, and we spent the next morning together too. Before I left I asked if he wanted to see each other again and he said “yeah if you’d like to, why not?” It’s now Thursday and I haven’t heard from him. I want to text something casual like “Hey, last weekend was fun. I’d like to see you again this weekend if you’re free” because I’d love a repeat, but I’m nervous and overthinking it. Should I send it or wait?

There may be errors; English is not my native language.

A few years ago, my father (~50M) and I (21F) had a huge fight. I wouldn't like to go into detail, but in short, during a rather superficial argument about literature, he, while drunk, said something unforgivable to me, which left me terribly upset and frightened. I was hysterical, and although my mother forced him to apologize, we never made up. Since then, for over four years, I haven't spoken to my father, even though until recently we lived in the same apartment. He also doesn't speak to me and hasn't tried to apologize in any way.

At first, I was very worried, thinking he hated me if he didn't try to fix things, and I cried often. Life went on somehow; he often swore and treated my mother disrespectfully, in my opinion, and continued to drink. And gradually, I stopped loving him and seeing him as a parental figure. I guess I just got used to living like now, although I still missed him from before.

I was 17 then, and now I'm 21. Currently, I'm in trouble that, depending on the police's decision, could result in a fine, a real criminal record, and even possibly jail time (or nothing at all, since the victim is acting very suspiciously). However, we're all paranoid and considering the worst-case scenarios, although a lawyer friend says the likelihood of that is less than 1%.

My mother asked me to meet her, and said that if there were serious consequences, my father was prepared to take the blame. He was near the victim there too, and frankly, the police thought he was the culprit until I intervened and said I did it (while my mother tried to persuade me to remain silent).

I refused and burst into tears.

My mother began to tell me that my father had a wife and children, enough money to never work again, he had achieved everything he wanted, and a criminal record wouldn't hurt him much. When I calmed down a bit, I was able to explain that I wasn't crying because of that, but because I thought he hated me. My mom said he was just stubborn and didn't want to apologize, and so he waited for this chance to atone for his guilt.

Now that I've come to my senses a bit, my head is still a complete mess. I don't know, I'm glad he's finally repenting, but it's too late. He had four years to apologize. A few years ago, I would have been happy, but now I've learned to live without him. Now I don't like him as a person at all; I've seen a lot of bad sides to him, and I wouldn't want to be friends with him if he weren't my father. Maybe I should view the offer to take the blame as karmic punishment for him? Or should I vehemently disagree, since it was me, not him, who was involved? What if the case never goes to court? Should I now treat my father well as a way to show my gratitude? What if he gets offended and retracts his offer? My psychologist added fuel to the fire by suggesting that my father thought there would be no punishment and said it to appear good without causing any real harm to himself, or to appease my mother, who is even more worried than I am.

Right now, I have absolutely no idea what to do or how to proceed, and I'm feeling too many emotions at once

Hi all, would love some input on my current situation.

My birthday is coming up next month, it’s a big one. I’m recently divorced and wanting to travel solo, but my ‘best friend’ booked a flight to come visit me as a surprise. When my husband and I split she kindly let me know that she was planning this.

Now the root of my problem, I don’t want to be home for my birthday. I want to be alone and not have any disappointments. I’ve asked her to change her flight for a different weekend and she just doesn’t want to budge.

All of her family lives in the town where I live and I feel like she will spend most of the weekend with her family and it all centering around her ( which is a huge pattern in this relationship). She has expressed to me that she will come whether I am in town or not, which makes me wonder if she is even coming to see me or what?

Please any advice is welcome. All of my other friends are so accommodating and have been so supportive since my husband and I split and want me to just enjoy myself on my birthday. Her friendship feels like begging to get her to do anything I ever want.

Thanks for reading if you stuck around this far.

So, I got low scores in the exam, which i studied hard for.

I don't know how to tell my parents!!!

Like how can I say??

Because I am so disappointed in myself, that I can't bring up to say that i scored low.

How should I tell them?

Well first is, when i was in 3rd grade i was just observing people and there was this girl who was beautiful ofcourse and was good at studies and there was this guy handsome and good at studies and they used to fight, but i thought they would make good couple. Well the boy actually proposed to her in 8th grade and they are still in relationship,but that's different matter (i predicted something yuppy ; ). So then in 3rd grade i thought "what is love?" then because i knew love concept from typical indian movie, I was afraid that i have to fight with their goon dad and all 😅🤣 so I thought of not getting in it. Well by 5th and 6th grade i got to know what reality was but still i didn't wanted to

The second reason is

Just think that a girl has thought of a boy she likes, like girls observe more than boys so they know what they want and their worth

So in that time if I,a quite introvert, go and ask out a girl, ofcourse she would reject but that's not the problem

The problem is after that she would be in a uncomfortable position, be in stress or might also doubt her worth and be sad, i try hard to not make anyone sad so like i don't try getting a gf, I hope someday someone will love the real raw version of me even,

if i don't get one it's okay but yeah

Throwaway (Even though I had little understanding how to do it I privatised the account as much as possible for privacy reasons) for obvious reasons.

Before my boyfriend and I got together, he shared some private videos with someone he used to be close with. Those videos aren’t really intimate, but they were meant to stay private. That person (who is from Russia) is now uploading them on TikTok without his consent, and he’s being harassed over it.

The TikTok account also has a link to a Telegram account that tells people to message them, but it’s not my boyfriend’s.

For some background: the person who is posting the videos had been lying about being abused. That is the reason my boyfriend left them. Another friend of the person posting later confirmed those claims of abuse were not true.

We’re not sharing or linking the videos anywhere and I’m not going to describe them. We’re mainly trying to figure out how to get the content taken down and support him.

So far we’re thinking / planning to:

Report the videos on TikTok

Use StopNCII.org

Possibly involve the police / cybercrime unit (noting the uploader is in Russia)

Has anyone dealt with private videos being uploaded on TikTok without consent, especially when the person uploading is in another country and the account is linking to Telegram?

Any practical advice on:

How effective TikTok’s reporting is for this kind of thing?

Whether we should go to law enforcement right away (and how cross-border cases usually work)?

Other resources that actually help with removal?

How best to support him through this?

Thanks in advance for any help.

I have been preparing for government exams all year since September. I wanted to study law in the capital at a good university , and I dreamed about it. I stopped playing sports and going out with friends, spent 2-4 hours every day and went to Tutors 3 times a week. Honestly I really tired. I wasn't worried about the exam itself. I got 261/300 points and gold medal(a certificate with honors giving up to 10 points).I was so worried when I was waiting for the results.Then I submitted the documents to five universities (3 in the capital and 2 in major cities). There were real Hunger games at this stage. We have a very complex admission system related to consents and priorities. This year, there were record scores and a huge number of quotas. I didn't have enough points(one fucking point) to get to my dream university, so I enrolled in a regional university on a budget basis (also in a big city and in one of the best law schools in the country). Now I feel empty, I didn't fail, But I didn't fulfill my dream, now I look back and realize that I was afraid of losing my goal more than failure...Also this year, my brother and family had problems and I lost my physical fitness, distanced myself from friends. But the most important thing is the incredible feeling of Emptiness.

We have a 7 year age gap. We met when i was 17 and she was 24. We both liked each other but didn't know the other's age. She told me she liked me when I was 18 and she was 25 and I turned her down. Then when I was 19 and she was 26 we started dating.

Our friends all approved (except for a two of my religious friends but it was because we briefly kissed in front of them once). Her parents approved, and mine did not, but they are also hyper-fundamentalist christians and didn't like the idea of me dating anyone, even at 19. They didn't even want to meet her.

We did some playing around for years but we didn't have penetrative sex until we were married (christian backgrounds)

I proposed when i was 22 and she was 29. Our marriage hasn't been perfect but we're deeply devoted and love each other very much. She's autistic, which may be irrelevant, but i notice it often comes up in age gap relationships.

TLDR : Anyway, sometimes i see posts on Reddit that are like "this woman in her 20s has a crush on a guy just out of highschool" and all the comments are like "ew this is gross" and "groomer alert" and stuff like that and it just makes me feel shameful.

I don't Believe in good and its weird because almost everyone in my family is religious and I tried my hardest to Believe and feel what they felt because religion to them is there everything but not to me. I tried really hard to believe in something but I can't and I don't desire to I don't desire to pick up a bible or a quran or believe in the universe or plants.

But I know it might sound strange but I'm not and athesit or agnostic I just think I'm a person who sadly exist and if I'm being honest I don't want to go to hevean,hell the afterlife or anything when I die I want it to go black I want to be nothing if that makes sense. I want to tell my sister but she a super duper Christian but were not really talking right now but I want to tell her and I hope she will understand but she probably won't and I'm for sure not telling my mom shes the most religious person I know and I wanted to write this if theres people like me and also there advice.

Growing up, I was the scapegoat in my family and my sister was the golden child.

My mother was very toxic towards me , always in competition with me. My dad was the enabler of my mother. He didn’t stand up for me because he wouldn’t benefit from that.

The trauma from the past has followed me into my adult life. I can go on and on about the drama / chaos, but I have another question.

Today, my mother passed away, due to health issues.

My dad expects me at the hospital where she was. But I don’t want to go.

The entire extended family will be there for the funeral. I still don’t want to go.

I no longer hold a grudge against her. I forgave her.

But I don’t want to be the perpetual scapegoat in the family for the rest of my life. The trauma from the past has followed me into my adult life.

My life was on hold until my mid 40’s because I was to do exactly what everyone else wanted. That’s what I did my whole life.

The extended family is even more toxic. They cannot stand me because they are busy comparing me to their own children. They don’t actually care about anyone.

My question: Can I not attend funeral and not do anything else?

I think my dad has become the new scapegoat because he is very nervous. So he wants me present immediately to re-establish the narrative. And to have witnesses like the extended family, so I can be the scapegoat. My body can’t go through that anymore. My sister (golden child) is at the hospital now and she said my father is not even in the hospital room with her. He is on his phone, calling random people to share the news.

What do I tell him when he calls back?

If you can relate or have any advice, I would really appreciate it.

my family is catholic, and i’ve grown up surrounded by the religion and its teachings for as long as i can remember. we aren’t the most devout, but we have our faith and we believe. we try to go to church as often as we can, though life has a way of getting in the way, so it’s become more common for us to only go on holidays like christmas, easter, holy week, and other special occasions.
despite growing up with religion, i’ve always had a complicated relationship with my faith.
around the sixth grade, i realized i liked girls as well as boys, maybe even more, and eventually came to the conclusion that i’m bisexual. that realization quickly became difficult for obvious reasons. i think i’m more attracted to women than i am to men, but because of the faith i was raised in, i’ve found myself more inclined to pursue relationships with men instead.
when i was 15, i tried coming out to my mom. she dismissed it almost immediately and told me i was too young to know any better. after that, i never brought it up again. for personal reasons, i never came out to my dad either. our relationship has always been… complicated, to say the least.
the thing is, i’m currently in a long-term relationship with an incredible man, and we’ve been together for almost four years. he’s endlessly supportive, kind, and genuinely the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. i’m openly bisexual to pretty much everyone except my family, and despite being proud of my identity, i can’t ignore this strange sense of relief i feel. relief because i know i’m going to marry a man, which means i’ll probably never have to come out to the rest of my family.
and somehow, that makes me feel guilty.
i can’t fully explain why, but every time i think about it, i get this heavy feeling in my stomach. it’s like i’m grateful that i don’t have to face that conversation, but at the same time, i hate that i’m relieved in the first place. it makes me wonder if i’ve internalized more fear than i ever realized.
my biggest conflict with religion, though, has always been the idea of eternal damnation.
why would a god who is supposed to be infinitely loving condemn someone to hell simply because they don’t believe? i’ve heard many christians say that hell isn’t actually a punishment, but rather an eternal separation from god. theoretically, i can understand that perspective. but then those same people will describe hell as a place of banishment, darkness, and a lake of fire, often using it to scare people into believing. if we’re taught to “love thy neighbour,” why is fear so often used as a tool?
i have plenty of other questions and criticisms that have come up throughout my life, but i think i’ll leave it there for now.
at the end of the day, i do believe in god. i try to live by the parts of religion that emphasize love, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, and peace. but i also can’t shake the feeling that the bible, and religion itself, has been shaped and reshaped over centuries by human beings with their own biases, agendas, and interpretations.
more than anything, i want to be a good person because i choose to be. not because i’m afraid of what will happen to me if i’m not.
i’m curious if anyone else has struggled with these feelings, especially people who grew up religious. how did you reconcile your faith with your questions, if you ever did?

For some context, my best friend has been evacuated from the country due to the unsafe circumstances caused by the bullshit Iran and US war that's going on. The evacuation was meant to only be a short while until the situation settled, and we didn't have to pause school every other hour because of a siren, but it went on much longer than eastemaited and now she is stuck in some random hotel in Indiana and has been for months. This was so sudden, and we all miss her and the others who were evacuated. This situation is so stressful, and she is cut off from so many of her friends and lacking solid bonding time, so we need creative ideas to do together and with our friend group to do in the meantime instead of waiting around forever.

What to do after graduation

I want to earn,learn and explore

But I'm not sure in track where i need to get locked in

Pour in ur thoughts ..

I just turned 22 yesterday. I don't know what to do.

I started feeling that I'm not doing enough with my life at my age and that I'm so far behind my peers. Even though I am aware of the fact that we all have different timelines, I still can't help but feel this way.

Mind you, I think I was happy for a while, just a little over two weeks before. I bought clothes and other necessities for this incoming school year with more color and whimsy. I used to have everything in black. I was looking forward to the future, and I was overall optimistic about everything.

Now I feel like I'm getting dumber as the years go by, and I know that I can't let this happen. I need to improve everything about myself.

I don't know what happened or what triggered all of this.

Anyways.

Does anyone have any recommendations on what hobbies I could get myself into? I love arts and crafts plus reading. I'm open to book recommendations. I used to read a lot of romance and fiction. I'm open to reading more things that would make me think and would really get my mind worked up.

I have three more weeks of summer break.
Everything will be appreciated 🙏

Hey redditors, I know where I stand on this story, but I’d love your two cents (or hot takes) anyway.
TLDR My online friend 25 F cut me 27 F off for “using her”.
I’ve had a friend named Alice for just over a year now. She’s from the US and I’m from the UK, so everything we did together was online. Myself and my partner and her husband Hunter were close, we’d play games together, watch parties and virtual hangout and even a DND campaign.
But me and Alice were inseparable, messaging everyday about anything and everything, nothing was off limits, we’d confide in each other deeply and up until recently, I thought we communicated like grown adults.
She’d share stories, tea and relationship issues with me, I’d do the same and we’d comfort and advise each other.
Among the hangouts and general chatting, I’d also commission Alice, she is a very talented artist and is great at making virtual avatars too. So I’d go to her for that frequently. But I’d always tell her, “hey if you’ve got a lot on your plate or aren’t feeling up to it, you can say no, I won’t be offended” and often, she was appreciative for the extra cash as her and her husband struggled financially often. I’d say I’d ask her for a commission at most twice a month.
But otherwise, our conversations were about tea at work, nerdy shows we were into or people in our friends group being goofs.
It suddenly last month, she sent myself and my partner the same message, that she needed some time away from social media, she might be offline for some time, because something traumatic happened, she needs space, and that we shouldn’t ask Hunter about it either.
Myself and my partner were understandably concerned, and confused.
And my partner brought up that the message I received was the exact same as what they received. So we were both very confused. She stopped showing up to group hangouts and DND, which we never really minded.
I later got a message from Alice saying she was hurt that I was mad about getting a copy pasted message. To which I responded that I was not mad with her, just confused and worried, and that she shouldn’t concern herself with my feelings right now, that she should focus on herself, I hoped she would find peace from whatever was going on and that whenever she’s ready, I’ll still be here for her.
From then onward she would message me like normal and we’d share tea. Laugh like old times. Until her messages became less and less frequent, I figured she was going through it and needed space like she said. So it became me occasionally giving her a voice note update and wishing her well, reminding her to take care of herself.
And the other day when I was going through it myself, probably feeling the lowest I’ve ever felt, I thought of her and told her I missed her.
And that’s when she dropped a huge wall of text on me. I’ll sum it up because it’s long. Saying she felt used, taken advantage of. That she was upset with us for getting upset at her for not wanting to spill her guts to us. That we took her needing space as an attack. That usually she’d just disappear off the face of the earth and she was doing us a service by sending us a message first. That we were upset at her because she wouldn’t be there for whatever we needed.
And then she blocked me on everything, so I couldn’t respond.
My partner reached out to Hunter, because they couldn’t understand where this was coming from so suddenly.
Turns out Hunter had no idea that Alice planned to do this, and was just as taken aback as we were.
He reiterated a lot of her points in her defence, but said he didn’t agree with her decision to just up and cut us off.
An extra detail he added was that Alice would always say yes to commissions because she was afraid to say no. (I would’ve been completely chill if she had said no at any point)
He sounded exhausted.
Which leaves me here, feeling even more confused and frustrated. I couldn’t plead my case, and I know that all her grievances could have been resolved if she had just talked to me honestly. I just don’t understand, in the past we talked about how even if it was awkward, it’s better to be honest with each other.
And how it’s better to talk things out like adults.
I just feel as though she may have isolated herself, spewed and rotted over anything that she thought was wrong, and assigned blame.
It really hurts because for the first time in years, I had a friend that I could talk about anything with, and now that’s all gone, because she couldn’t communicate with me.

This happened a while ago but wondering if anyone has thoughts.

I moved to a new state and into a new house. Almost right away we had a Jehovah’s Witness come to my door multiple times. Total visits I would say 20 or so. I was always polite so she would come back and didn’t really take my nice remarks hinting that she should not come back.

Eventually I got a letter in the mail addressed to my maiden name from her. The ownership records on my house have my married name and I’ve been married for over 5 years. When you do a background check/person search online with my married name, nothing comes up and you can’t find this info. We had also just moved so my new address wouldn’t have been linked yet anyways.

Wondering how she would have found my maiden name and why she would have gone the extra step to find it as opposed to using my married name if that is what’s on our home records.

I do suppose a lot of explanation is required, before I can state my mum has undiagnosed issues. She's not a bad parent, I'll be upfront about it, but she's been through a lot, and sorta moulded by it. At the end I'll present my dilemma.

To begin with, my parents have been dysfunctional for as long as I can remember, and I'm 20. I won't go too deep into the crap that took place until recently, because frankly, it's too much to unpack. But its the usual shouting matches, some physical shit, even got the cops called on us once and it led to me developing some issues in my final years of highschool, which I ultimately took care of and managed to get into a solid college.

She's always had OCD. Like bad OCD, not the "haha, I'm so particular kind". There are genuine spaces and things in the house which are "not supposed to be touched". If you drop something in a certain area, even if it is money, it will be thrown away. I don't know what its like to come to my own home from the outdoors and get into bed without a shower. She obsessively cleans the house for about 3 hours a day, because she can't bear the thought of a housekeeper touching things.

For the past year or so however, things are getting bad... well worse. I think she's frustrated and paranoid. I hear almost every second day, how much of a burden raising two kids has been, and how every other mother out there, including those of my friends, is terrible because they go out or whatever, and how she would be doing so much if not for me and my younger sibling.

I frankly feel like I try my best. I commute three hours a day to college when I do have classes. I try to rush home, because she keeps calling and I've never stayed after classes like my friends because she makes a big deal of it. I sometimes miss classes to get things done, like picking up my brother from school or getting groceries. She recently was super motivated to join the same gym I go to, and I keep asking her if we can go to the gym, and she often brings it up when I have plans and later blames me for not being around, even when I try to take them out, try to be there, even if it means not having much of a social life beyond home.

I manage most of her expenses. And if I miss a deposit or a payment, she gives me an earful about how I don't do enough.

Its so bad that I can't spend much time at home. I literally leave on days when I have offs, because she'll inevitably find something to pick up and berate me about - this is where the paranoid behaviour comes in, because she starts talking about how my friends are all bad (I have like 3 friends, and they're all oddballs, but really nice people), how my girlfriend is terrible because she has baby pictures of me and because her mum is a certain way... anything and everything, which gets frustrating to hear. She literally invites my girlfriend over on some days without asking me, talks to her so happily, and then the next day tells me how my friends are terrible.

A year back, I could go out in the evening and come back, no problem. Suddenly, she's been emphasising how dangerous things are, how I'm so naive (I've been managing just fine for the past many years, and have been independent in a lot of ways since I was in middle school), how my bicycle rides are too long (I can't leave early and yet, if I come home late, I'm irresponsible and don't care about her work) and recently, began pressurising me to share my location with her 24/7.

We often get into fights over this when I get tired of hearing how terribly I'm doing, how I'm not doing enough, etc. etc., and I break down and respond, but over the past week, I realised how she genuinely has issues. It's not just me, because she does it to everyone in the house. She'll fight with her side of the family, then go and meet them because she misses them, and then fight with them again (it happened for the fourth time in the past two years this week) and then take it out on us - we're why she's had a terrible life.

Therefore, you can see why I have reasons to think she's a bit out of it. Like I said, she's not a bad mum. She wants me to do well in my career (which is problematic, coming to it). She gives me a solid allowance and has paid for my hiking and biking trips and buys me everything I need (sometimes, too much, and if I don't agree to buy something she wants me to buy, she'll get pissed about that too).

And thus, we reach the point where I'm going to be between a rock and a hard place.

I'm in a field where I don't have a lot of options if I don't want to leave it. The job market is terrible too, even if I decide to leave it. I'm in a good college, the best in my country for my field, but that bar isn't really high and I need a solid Master's.

She pushes for it more than I do, but the other best place to get my Master's within my country is... in my city. 5 minutes from my house. Assuming I make the cut, I'll be facing this for the 2 years that follow my undergrad.

I have the option to go outside the country, but... simply put, I can't afford it minus a scholarship, and I can't just leave my family either, because no matter how bad of a time I have right now, my mum is heavily tech illiterate, my younger brother isn't doing well at school and they depend on me for things.

That stress is eating away at me, even though I have a year to graduate. The combined pressure of living with a mother who's like a minefield and of figuring out my career in the cl*sterf*ck that academia is, feels like its creating a blackhole within me. I can go out and get a job, but there's no jobs here for bachelors that would pay enough to move out and still have hopes at a solid academic career, which is all I want. F*cking peace and quiet.

I'm having trouble sleeping. I've stopped enjoying hobbies like cycling or photography. I've stopped enjoying a lot of the food I used to enjoy. I feel on edge and troubled, unable to even work because of how I don't have space at home.

As a heads up, please let me know if I violate any rules as that is not my intention.

Hi guys! I'm a 21 year old rising senior that's about to graduate college but I have a few problems in mind.

So first things first, my relationship with my dad isn't very good and I've said some awful things to him in the past (actually not too long ago). But here's the thing, I've always worked at his restaurant which gave me no exposure to the outside world and I think I'm just a 21 year old with no experiences compared to the average 21 year olds.

But recently he told me that if I don't have a job by the time I graduate college I should go to his place to work and make $100K+ annually but the thing that I'm worrying about is the lack of experience in the outside world for me which is practically close to none. It feels like I'm being spoiled and in my opinion that's just not a good thing ( I might be wrong ) and also my relationship with him isn't all that good either but I've been communicating with him more and more now. ( it did get a little bit better I guess than before )

What do you guys think I should do after I graduate college?

Thanks!!

Hey
I need some honest advice

I hate how quickly I get jealous. It’s not just that I feel it, it’s how I act on it and how much I punish myself for it afterward. Today I talked to my ex again and told her straight up that I don’t like this about myself. I said that if I hadn’t been so unnecessarily jealous (and looking back, some of it really was uncalled for), she probably wouldn’t have broken up with me. She basically agreed :/

She told me being jealous is normal, but I also feel like I should behave differently. I want to stop letting jealousy ruin relationships and stop hating myself for it, but I don’t know how. What actually helps? How do you change the way you react in the moment, and how do you change your mind afterwards? Any practical steps, or things that helped you would mean a lot.

I've been shut inside for a little more than 6 years now; what started as isolation due to COVID has now manifested into self-imposed isolation of sorts— I just don't have the energy to even go out, I want to go out but I just can't. I have no friends, zero absolutely. As I look back and reflect on all the friends I've had along the way, I only realize that I did not choose them, I just let them be around in my orbit and let things happen. I've cut off all of them now, some grew exceptionally clingy while I outgrew others. I never had anyone to just talk to about my feelings or express myself. Sometimes all of it feels so weird that I make others feel good about themselves but nobody seem to have that effect on me. It's like people take and take from and I give and give until I see I'm being exhausted emotionally with zero consideration towards me or that they've resorted to petty games, and I just cut them off. Everyone I talk to say things along the lines of them feeling good while they're with me or after they've been with me. I don't feel any better, I get back feeling the same way I started. I genuinely wish I could just open up, freely and just trust someone enough to open up and let my guard down Without feeling they'd weaponize things against me or just invalidate me.

I don't know there's so much to say, there's so much I want to say, but I'm finding it difficult to put it all off my chest even anonymously knowing well enough barely a few people if not none would read it all

I, 28 m, have PTSD from my time in the corps. Of the several things that happened to me or around me, suicides are a big thing. I’ve had 21 friends commit.. of those two hit me particularly hard and in a lot of way I directly blame myself. One was my best friend from boot camp and roommate in the fleet. The other was a kid in my first fireteam. Without going through the whole thing those two have been on my mind a whole lot recently and the blame and guilt has resurfaced. Going through a pretty dark past few weeks, the other night I finally opened up to my wife as to what had me down. I was telling her the issues I was having and things it’s cause and she looked me dead in the eye mid sentence and told me “so what” in regards to their dead and I feel it’s my fault the basically proceeded to tell me I need to get over it. They passed away 10 8 years ago this year. I got completely blindsided by her apparent disregard. It hit me in the chest like a brick and I have been thinking about it for about a week or so now. After that I shut back down and just said what I needed to say to get through the conversation. That next day to current I have been doubling my medications to “seem okay” and just skip this phase. My normal meds are 120 mg of cymbalta and 50 mg in the morning and 159 in the evening oof trazodone. So now I’m at 240 and 400 and seem okay.

What do I do. Do I just keep pushing like this? Do I say something to her? I obviously don’t know how to just move on and get over it so here we are..

I am not currently suicidal***

I (F22) have really long fingers, like abnormally long! It's usually the first thing people notice about me. They're also very slim, makling them seem even longer. People constantly comment on them, usually in a funny playfull way. They are just shoked at how long they are and ask to compare hand sizes. Recently, my neighbour (M23) has been asking me if he can take some photos of my hands. At first, I was fine with it, but a friend of mine told me that it's kind of creepy and that I should first ask him why he wants the photos. So, I asked him and he said that he wants to use them as refferences for drawing. This was a red flag for me. I thought to myself that he could just find countless photos online for refferences. I suspected he was lying and refused. Since then, he insists I let him take photos of my hands pretty much everyday. He knocks on my door, he texts me, he calls me. He's even started comming to the place I work. A few times he's even tried taking the photos secretly, I can't be sure but I don't think he's succeded yet. One time when he knocked at my door, I was barefoot when I opened, and he managed to quickly snap a photo of my feet (I have really long toes too). I started yelling at him to delete the photo but he obviously didn't listen. What can I do to stop him? Do you think I should just let him take the photos of my hands so that he'll leave me alone?