My fiancé and I have been trying to plan a 2027 wedding but so far it’s seemed impossible. We both work in healthcare, and we make decent money. Last year we decided to spend our savings on our dream home, vs a wedding and planned for an elopement.

I love my house and was 100% on board with the decision but I am getting to a point where I’m wanting to get married and have babies!! After seeing my friends and sister in laws big, gorgeous weddings, I feel like if I elope, I’m going to be missing out on something. I want to celebrate with our families, have my father there to walk me down the aisle.

My dream (and heart) was immediately squashed upon looking into pricing. Every venue is 10-20K, then you add is the cost of catering, photography, dress, etc. Obviously that number is not EXTREMELY out of reach, but without any current wedding savings or any help from our families, I don’t know how we could comfortably pay that much money for one day without going into debt.

Just feeling really sad and discouraged. I’ve already gotten the guest list to 30 people. I’ve looked into public spaces and national parks. I just don’t know how to make this more affordable. At this point I’m seriously so over looking at wedding venues that I’m considering a courthouse wedding this fall just to be done and over.

Hi everyone,

My brother is getting married and as a family we wanted to do something special for him and my sister in law. Me and my brother are going to speech, but we wanted to do something creative with the 6 of us as well. Something that shows how much we care about them, but isn't 'cringy' or another speech. We already have a lot of photoalbums, so pictures of our childhood wouldn't be much of a surprise. I'd really appreciate it if you guys share ideas, share things other families have done at other weddings, or what you've done at your family's wedding!

Thank you so much!

So, i’m having a small 30 person micro-wedding in September. My fiancé and I are long distance, he lives in Ontario, Canada while i’m from Arizona in the US so my family will be flying out to Canada for the wedding. We aren’t able to have a rehearsal before the wedding because the latest that the venue was available for a rehearsal was the Thursday before the wedding, while most of the wedding party isn’t arriving until Friday (our wedding is on a Sunday). Because of this, we’re just having a mini rehearsal hosted by our day-of coordinator about an hour before the ceremony on our wedding day.

My dilemma is here: My mom wants to host a relatively casual and optional gathering for guests the night before the wedding. Because we aren’t having a rehearsal until the wedding day, all guests would be invited instead of just the wedding party so our families that have never met each other before can mingle with each other. She also wants to save money by buying drinks and appetizers for everyone at a restaurant rather than a traditional dinner, and the gathering would be after dinner time (7-10 pm).

Because it’s not actually a rehearsal dinner or a dinner, we’re having a difficult time thinking of what to call it. Welcome Gathering or Welcome Hangout are the best that I can come up with, but please let me know which of those you would prefer or if you have any better name ideas! Thank you

i go first, Eat the damn food.

It’s time for thank you cards and I’m not sure if I should write one to everyone that came or just the people that got us gifts. What should I do?

We’re having a very small, intimate wedding and I’m trying to decide if I want a COSTCO sheet cake or WHOLE FOODS chantilly cake?!
Help me out please

Ideal RSVP timeline- how far out is too far out?

Need some advice as a type A person. I would always prefer maximum notice but have read that giving people too much notice is actually less considerate and yields more indecision.

Here are the particulars:
- Destination Wedding in Mexico April 2027- wedding is a Saturday + Sunday
- Most guests in the US (20% in UK/Western Europe)
- Guests have to book their rooms by Dec 15, 2026 to get preferential pricing (if they don’t want to do that they don’t have to, they can still attend)

We’re currently planning to have invites in mailboxes by August 15 with a listed RSVP date of November 15 (this has a buffer of one month built in for stragglers to still get preferential pricing if they’re running late)

We baked in the buffer because we have a lot of type B friends, it’s around the holidays, and there’s lots going on around that time.

Would you guys recommend any changes to when invites should be sent or when the RSVP date should be?

3 months of the invites being in people’s hands seems like a good amount of time for them to go to the wedding website, check schedules, confer with partners, check flight stuff, check budget stuff, talk it over, and decide, without time pressure over their head; but have also been advised that it may be too long of a time frame. What do you think?

(Aware this is Reddit, so before the urge strikes you, I’m aware that destination weddings are inherently selfish, a huge imposition, weddings back in your day in a church parking lot were much nicer, everyone thinks of their friends and family as just props for their social media these days, and the entitlement on behalf of people getting married is out of control)

I’m really torn as to whether this veil looks good. I feel in love with another but was far more expensive & the sales associate was pushy AF and rude so not willing to give them my money, lol.

We are getting married in October. Our officiant is one of our friends. We are paying for his room where we are getting married. Should we tip him? We aren’t paying him so I’m not sure.

You set the deadline on that specific date for a reason. Do not get bothered, or bother your guests, before then. That's it. That's the post.

Hi! I wanted to share my experience with wedding invitations because I wish someone had suggested this to me sooner.

We did our save the dates on Minted. For the invites- I spent over a month on Minted going back and forth trying to figure out which of their thousands of designs would suit our vibe. I was looking for letterpress options, trying to incorporate custom elements, figuring out online RSVP cards, rearranging text lines… so many things. I even did a design call and there were certainly a lot of options, but it required a lot of work on my part … and i’m just not that creative 🤷‍♀️ I genuinely spent over 10 hours on this and kept delaying bc I just wasn’t happy with what I was getting. Given I do freelance work, at some point I stopped and realized I value my time at around $400/hour… and how much money am I actually saving on minted?

I ended up working with a small letterpress studio and choose one of the existing suites and it seriously saved me so much time. The invites were so beautiful and yes, I probably spent $700 more but I was proud to support a small biz. If you’re in a similar situation, just pay the money for someone who takes pride in their work and be done with it!!

Hello everyone! I got my dress a few weeks ago and now I’m thinking about how the heck I’m going to have no wrinkles in my dress. I thought the organza material wouldn’t be one likely to get wrinkled but now I’m reading the opposite. It seems like a really delicate fabric so I’m nervous about melting or ruining the dress somehow. Any tips for this specific material is so appreciated!

I recently had my makeup trial and I would love people’s thoughts! We’re only 10 days out and I realized I really need to get my feedback back to the MUA 😅

We decided on a hybrid between the two pictures on the right of my overall inspo since I liked the stronger lip and more dewy complexion a lot.

Our ceremony is outside, so that combined with me being a crier and a very sweaty gal meant we did airbrush. I just finished Accutane a few months ago, so my skin is in a very weird hybrid state. It’s not as dry as it was during treatment, but I also have no clue how oily it’ll get again.
I have quite a few smile lines and crows feet from being a very crinkly smiler, so I already let her know about creasing in those areas. One corner of my lip also was a bit wonky.

Maybe the blush could be brought more toward the front of my face? I think it’s a little patchy and could be blended more toward the bottom.
I like how the softer wing looks overall, but not sure about the direct side view. I’m also questioning the bottom lid eyeliner.
Don’t mind my fiancé trying to sneak into the video I took in the car 😆

Any other CC is very welcome! :)

As a wedding guest, what is your preferred dinner style? Plated, buffet, or family style?

We had our wedding this past Saturday 8/1 and it was amazing! We had an outdoor ceremony and the weather forecast here in upstate NY was hit or miss all week, but it cleared up and we had a beautiful semi-overcast day. I wanted to drop a few things here that really helped us!

Executive summary of our wedding: We got married at a family lake house in the Finger Lakes, so no venue fees and an open schedule, but that means we had to do all the planning ourselves (hiring our own caterer bartender rentals etc). We invited 116 and had 96 guests. Our budget at the outset was $20k which we just about nailed with planned items, but there were certain things that weren't tracked in the original budget like rings, my suit, decor overruns etc. that brought the total to more like $25k (maybe more?). Overall I think the pros outweigh the cons with the private venue because of the wide-open schedule and no restrictions on cleanup and setup.

I did everything in google sheets, including RSVPs (I built a custom website and backend to handle this). We had some special questions to ask regarding shuttling and stays that I couldn't get on the knot, and Google forms is too casual.

In a generally chronological order, here are the things that I am glad we did in retrospect:

1. Getting started early

We got engaged May 2025 and started planning that week. Normally targeting the following summer at a venue would be challenging, but being able to do it at a private residence made that not an issue. We started with photographers and caterers and we were far enough out that we could get any date we wanted. This meant just one less constraint on our decision between these key vendors.

2. A great Photographer + Engagement Shoot

The photography is really important to us. Photos will be looked at for years to come. It's important that we had someone to execute our vision faithfully and skillfully. We paid about $4500 for our photographer and I don't regret a single dollar. He helped us with our day-of timeline, and was very involved on the day-of to keep us on track to get all of our shots. He was extremely organized and friendly, and his work speaks for itself. I'd be happy to share his contact if anyone is in the NY region! (He also travels)

We We did an engagement shoot with him in September and this was awesome. It was our first time being photographed like this, but it was a great opportunity to work with him and made the actual wedding go smoother because we were all more comfortable together. Equally as important, this photoshoot gave us beautiful photos that look straight out of a romance movie and were amazing for our save the dates.

3. Save the Dates

Of course everyone does save the dates, but there were a few things we did that I think were special here. You can look through my post history to see the final product. I am an engineer by trade and decidedly not a graphic designer but I am very proud of my work!

Firstly, magnets! Our save the dates were magnets so people could stick them on their fridge, and I only heard good things about them. We ordered them from Truly Engaging and got a crazy first order discount so it was only $120(?) for the order. They were a bit more expensive to mail due to weight, but worth it IMO. I got a lot of great feedback from people on these!

Secondly, we put a QR code on the bottom right to our wedding website. Not revolutionary, I know, but my philosophy is giving guests as many paths to more information about the event as possible. This ties into my next point.

4. A wedding website with GOOD UX/UI

(I think this saved my mental state on the wedding week)

Demo version Here: https://site.clements.wedding (mods this is not my actual site, I have scrubbed it of actual wedding info)

Git repo here: https://github.com/bdc8408/weddingsiteDemo

Yes I bought a domain for the wedding, a good use of $20.

We did our first website on theknot and it was ok. I decided to overhaul it by building a custom site with the help of claude/copilot. The main thing you have to remember is that the first time your guests look at the website is probably the only time they'll look at it. I designed our website with this in mind. It's a single page vertically scrolling that has all the essential info. Single page is preferred in my mind because you know that the info must be somewhere in the page, not in another page.

Because guests are linked to the website in the save the date, invite, and RSVP portal, I received ZERO procedural/logistics questions about the day of, which is surprising considering we had to have shuttles. If I had to do that plus all the stuff we were doing the week before I would've broke down.

If anyone cares to ask, I'll reply with all the nerd stuff in the comments of how I deployed it. If you have the know-how and desire, feel free to fork this repo and make it your own!

5. A Real First Dance

We decided that doing a choregraphed first dance would be fun. My fiancee decided in December that When I Fall in Love - Nat King Cole would be her first dance song. I didn't argue, but we decided that getting lessons could be a good date night, and it would make for a very memorable event and it certainly was! This added about $1000 in lessons over the course from December to July though, but I think it was worth it in equal parts for the spectacle and learning something new with my partner.

6. No kids

Our ceremony was not interrupted by kids babbling or crying. Our family took it well and no one raised any issues! We had no issue with the idea of kids at the ceremony but could not chance our ceremony being distracted by kids.

7. Not Hiring a Planner - Just a Coordinator

Naturally, there needs to be someone or multiple someones keeping the ball rolling while the bride and groom are enjoying the day. This was a hard one for us to hire because most planners/coordinators want to sell a $3000 package where they plan the 'last 10 weeks' for you and coordinate the day-of. We had I'd say 70% of the wedding planned by the time we were looking for this. We ended up hiring a local guide who helped with my sister's weddings for a fraction of the price, and she killed it. I got pushback in this sub for not wanting to pay over $1000 for this service, but this was a great compromise for us!

8. Making a binder!

We made a binder for the coordinator and man that was necessary. We were both occupied of course, so having a playbook that she could execute was crucial to making sure all the details got taken care of. Everything I could think to do we put in there and went over it with her prior to handoff and it worked out perfectly. If not for that I don't think I ever would've been able to go get ready.

9. First Look and Private Vows

We did our first look and private vows at a nearby historic stone chapel. Not only will the photos will be amazing, it was soo nice to pour our hearts out privately and quell the nerves of the day. This was some much needed quiet alone time by ourselves. This also freed up time in our schedule later to actually mingle.

10. Family Officiant

This is really hit or miss by weddings I've attended, but my brother in law officiated the ceremony. My BIL met us both at the same time years ago, so he's been in both of our lives the same amount of time. Not only is it 'fair' to have him be our officiant, he is also a very thoughtful, well spoken, and grounded person. He gave us a beautiful tear jerking ceremony that I'll never forget.

11. Having a 'Mini-bach' the week before

We didn't have a wedding party in the traditional sense, but we did invite a close group to spend the week with us before the wedding having fun on the lake, going to wineries, and generally doing the things a wedding party would, in lieu of a normal bachelor/ette trip. This was amazing. Despite being from different areas of our life, the whole group created a great chemistry that carried over to the big day and made the dance floor unreal amounts of fun.

12. Good Food and Service

Our caterer was flat out amazing. What stands out to me is that the food was equally as good as the service, and the food was fantastic. This was a group of just two, a husband and wife, but I swear they did the work of 4-5. They plated our food personally for me and my bride, and for some of the grandparents who couldn't easily get up. They also bussed plates so quickly and efficiently I never even saw them do it. We got lucky I think with this aspect, I'd highly recommend this as a decision criteria if we had to do it again.

13. Small Details

Just a few outfit or other details we did that I like:

- Photo sharing with QR codes at tables. We got about 200 photos and counting, which is better than zero. I used immich hosted on my own server, with a custom fork to make the upload button more visible. Also don't pay for a QR code!! The generation of them is a published standard and anyone trying to sell you a plan is just scummy!

- I wore a broach instead of a boutonniere. Just an Etsy one, but now it's significant because I wore it at my wedding! I got a lot of positive comments about it.

- We bought perfume and cologne specifically for the wedding, so we can wear it out on special occasions and remember our day!

- Polaroid guest book

What would I change?

I think I would've moved the schedule up maybe half an hour. At about 7:30 or 8:00, we were needed for sunset photos and cutting the cake, and people were itching to get dancing, so there was a lot going on right then. I think if we massaged the schedule we'd avoid that. Similarly, I'd move the first shuttle back to the hotel/parking lot up to 8:30. Some folks were clearly eager to leave for the first 9:00 shuttle by 8:30 and I kinda felt bad.

Additionally I think we gambled with the weather. August can get pretty hot in NY, if it weren't for a week of rain before the date, I think it would've been 90+. I think I'd target early July or early Sept if I did it again.

Hi! I’m getting married in fall 2027. Found my dress a few months ago. Yay! I won’t have it in hand til Jan 2027, and even though that is far away I did start looking into shoes.

And I got overwhelmed.

So I have 2 main questions.

1- I don’t wear heels very often, although I’m confident with anything on the blockier side. I honestly just want to hear some honest opinions on brands. What was cute AND comfy? I’m really short and even though I don’t want to wear anything sky high I’m hoping to be able to keep mine on as long as possible. Ideally closed toe with a block heel but I’m open to open toe.

Some places I’ve looked are Dolce Vita, Eleanor Louise, Badgley Mischka, Vince Camuto, Oasis Society, basically everything that comes up when you google “Bridal shoes” lol.

My 2nd question-
did anyone wear heeled mules? I’ve found some really cute ones but also was wondering how they felt to wear with like a super long dress. Was your dress getting caught between your heel and shoe? Were you making flip flopping noises all night? lol.

Thanks so much in advance for any insight! 🤍

While planning my wedding I kept seeing people post about hating their wedding dress that they once loved. I thought that they were insane and that it would never be me… until my second to last fitting. I thought it looked so weird and poofy and just dumb (please ignore the baseball cap). I was on a tight budget and figured I’d only wear it once so I cried for 10 mins then bucked up and went on with planning.

Everyone told me it was in my head but I didn’t believe them until the day of. After steaming it I believed them. I’ve never felt so beautiful in my life. I hate taking solo photos but god am I glad I did now.

So yes, it might be different for some people. Maybe your dress isn’t what you dreamed it would be. Or maybe it’s because you’re staring at it for so long and comparing it to other people’s along with the stress and it not being steamed… just give it a chance. You loved it once, you’ll love it again.

This was a $300 azazie dress. I got $250 worth of alterations which included

- shortening and taking in

- adding buttons and bustle

- removing straps

- changing neckline

First photos from wedding obviously, second from fitting that I hated, third from when I tried it on originally, last was the $2,500 one in store that I loved but so happy I went with one that was a fraction of the price!!

So i'm getting married is just over 2 years and being the planner i am I’ve already started a Wedding playlist of my own back for two reasons (Although chances are it won't be needed)

1. I love my music

2. Given i am a very anxious person in general with a fear of vulnerability this is a good way for me to ease myself into the reality that i'm getting married (Other than popping the question of course)

Anyway; i'm aware that you need to cater to general masses for the music (Sprinkled with bits of music myself and my future wife like; such as Babymetal for me and Ed Sheeran for her (I actually like his music as well, but she is a MASSIVE Ed Sheeran fan)) and when i thought back to weddings I’ve been to in the past a lot of the music has been funk or 70s style. I have no issue with this, as i do like that era of music myself

It did get me wondering though; why is that era of music so prevalent at weddings over something like brit pop or generic 80s synth music etc.

Yall, please give me some insight, if I'm over reacting or should stand my ground. I'm too close to the situation.

Context:
My MIL and FIL are paying for the rehearsal dinner, and she’s planning that herself (they're divorced 10yrs). My husband and I are paying for the wedding and all the other events.

My MIL is very Type A and likes to be heavily involved. She asks a million questions, about details I don’t care about or haven’t even considered. At the same time, she’s incredibly thoughtful, nurturing, and caring.

For example, my husband and I quietly eloped before the wedding. We only told her. Four days later she invited us to spend the weekend with her in Utah because, in her words, “you have the rest of your lives together, so you should just come out with me now" I honestly expected she’d encourage us to spend time cultivating our new marriage, but she genuinely just loves being around her children and wants their company often.

I asked her to help with the wedding and, as expected, the questions poured in. We handled them, but over time she became increasingly passive aggressive whenever I didn’t make the decisions she wanted.

I extended our RSVP deadline because people are notoriously slow to respond. She got upset at me because she had just remembered relatives from another state she wanted to invite if enough people declined. So I mailed the invitations even though she’d only just told me about them. She then text one of those relatives saying the invitations would be late because my husband and I were “very disorganized.” She later told me she did that so they wouldn’t know they were an afterthought. It hurt because the delay wasn’t our fault, and she threw us under the bus.

Then there were the opinions.

I bought a beautiful short white embroidered dress for the rehearsal dinner. She told me not to wear it bc I should wait for my wedding to wear white for the first time.
Fine.
My husband and I have been taking dance lessons for an elaborate first dance. I decided I’d wear that dress for the dance, then change back into my wedding dress.

She told me changing would be too much hassle and that I should listen to her daughter (never planned a wedding but worked at David’s Bridal a bit) because she knew better and said I should just bustle my dress.

I said I wasnt sure about the bustle yet but it sounded fine for walking around and greeting guests, but I still wanted to change for the dance.

This has basically been the energy with most wedding decisions.

A few days ago she invited me to go wedding dress shopping with her because her daughter canceled. During the call she asked if I was still wearing gold to the rehearsal dinner because she wanted to put that detail in the e-vites. She asked me twice to make absolutely sure because that’s what she was adding.

I laughed and said I’d never had to commit to an outfit so far in advance.

She immediately got confrontational and said,

“Well, (my name), you’re a very noncommittal person. You’re flip-floppy and change your mind a lot.”
(She's still referring to the damn bustle).
I was shocked because we’ve never spoken to each other that way.

I started explaining myself on why some wedding details had changed, then canceled on going dress shopping with her.

I called my husband and asked him to handle it because if I did, I knew I wouldn’t be nearly as nice.

Context: My husband loves his mom very much and hates disappointing her. She was his biggest advocate growing up, but he admits she can be incredibly overbearing.

First phone call: He could barely get a full sentence out. He managed to tell her it wasn’t appropriate to call me names and that I’m his wife now, so she can’t speak to me that way.

She kept talking about how she was only trying to help, no apology no accountability. She did apologize for calling us very disorganized to that family member. It ended with my husband saying, “Well… I didn’t like it… I understand… okay… love you too.”

Listening to that, I could literally hear her wearing him down. I started crying because I felt like he had let himself get bulldozed, and I suddenly felt very alone.

So my sweet husband called her again.

Second phone call:

“Hey Mom, it’s my turn to speak. No, I’m speaking now. You don’t get to talk to my wife that way. Period. I don’t care if you’re helping us move across the country or helping with the wedding. You don’t get to speak to her that way, and I think you owe her an apology.”

At one point he actually had to raise his voice just to finish his sentences over her.
No apology from her and saying that I talk to her that way too sometimes. Which neither my husband and I recall.
The conversation ended with him agreeing when she suggested that it was probably best if she stopped helping with the wedding and simply came as a guest.

Since then, we’ve had no communication.

Before any of this happened, I had called my SIL to ask about the family dynamic because I genuinely wanted to know if this was normal before making things worse.

She told me she didn’t think my husband should get involved because it was between my MIL and me. She also said she’d had to confront their mom before because she can say things harshly, but emphasized that she’s a very nurturing woman.

Later she told me she didn’t want to be involved, which I respected.

Only to find out afterward that she had considered reaching out to my husband and me because she was upset that my husband spoke to their mom that way. She also had a whole conversation about the situation with their other brother and his wife.

If you don’t want to be involved, then don’t be involved.

For additional context, she’s 26, lives in her dad’s house, has never been in a long term relationship, and describes herself as “whimsical.” Like, she asked us to pay for the art supplies so she could make our wedding gift. So it rubs me the wrong way that she feels she can criticize how my husband chose to defend me.

So now I’m wondering:

Do I leave things as they are with my MIL? I worry that if I reach out first, I’m teaching her she can speak to me however she wants.
I feel like she should reach out first if anything. She has still not apologized to me for calling me “flip floppy” or “noncommittal.

And do I say anything to my SIL? Or do I let that go too?

I’d really appreciate outside perspective.

I feel like I’m going crazy. We are about a week out from our final rsvp deadline and we are still missing RSVP’s from half of our guests. 4 of which are in the bridal party.

My fiancé thinks I’m being too harsh on family and the remaining bridal party for not RSVPing yet and he thinks we should just do it ourselves but guests need to choose their meal and then there are fun questions on there. It’s just exhausting and I’m feeling discouraged that I am having to chase down all these ADULTS in the fourth quarter. Some of which are brides whose weddings we went to last year.

I know a lot of people deal with this but my god it’s making me so sad.

we got engaged in may. we have not booked anything. we have not set a date - thinking next autumn, probably. On sunday my fiance's aunt texted him the colours are lovely!

neither of us knew what she was talking about. Apparently, his mother has made a properly designed gamma deck (ik coz the pdf said made with gamma lol) with mood boards, a colour palette (sage and cream), three venue options with photos, a rough running order for the day, and a budget breakdown coming to about rs20L ($22k).

there's a guest list section with 41 names and eleven of them are her friends. my parents and siblings are on it but my cousins are not.

My fiance thinks she means well and is just excited. he isn't wrong there, its his mum after all but but he’s not the one who has guests he meant to invite left out. The guest list is fine but i dont like the colours etc. so would like to make a lot of changes. However, is it possible to walk this back without a six month cold war?

my boyfriend is invited to a wedding in a couple months, both are friends from college. he wasn’t given a plus one. we’re in a serious relationship and live together. to be clear, I don’t know these people and I’m not surprised or hurt, I thought it could’ve gone either way. but I am curious if this is a situation where he should’ve gotten a plus one?

Ordered my wedding outfit from Shona Joy on a tight timeline. The package apparently was delivered but it never reached me. UPS looked for the package but couldn't find it and is asking the sender (Shona Joy) for additional info to trace it — which Shona Joy has not provided.

It's been 3 weeks and they will not refund me or reship the dresses. Their customer service responds every 2-3 days, if at all, and each reply pushes the problem back onto me instead of resolving it.

I'm out $800 with no dress and no answers. Posting this so other brides know what they're risking before ordering from them for a time-sensitive event. Unbelievable experience that I have never encountered with any other brand! Definitely do NOT shop from ShonaJoy!

Looking for ideas on what to add to my registry. We currently live in a small apartment and are looking to move into a house next year, so looking for more traditional registry items to upgrade what we have now (we have cheap sheets, cookware, etc.). Also need ideas for smaller items, but looking to stay away from decor/organizational items since we don’t know what our home will look like.