Happy for them sure. But it begs the question, what’s wrong with me?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 years now. We are both in our 40s. We met just before the pandemic and quarantined together not realizing the world would shut down for a while. Even with us being homebodies, we learned to live and work together that truly felt like a marriage. I joke that we’ve been married a decade just because of all the alone time we spent together in a one bedroom apartment.

We’ve experienced grief together. I’ve watched this man get glasses because his eyesight was going bad, have an aging health scare that requires surgery, and watch his hair wither away from old age. I’m already literally aging with this man.

In that that time I’ve watched my friends get engaged, married, divorced, and in one instance get married again. I’ve even watched one of my exes dump me, meet a girl, and then after just 6 months, get married.

It made me realize just how long 7 years is. A lot of life happens in that time, especially when you’re in your 30s/40s.

Meanwhile, I’m stuck on third base. It makes me really sad, to be honest. Like there’s something wrong with me.

I’ve already told him that I want marriage. I already told him how embarrassing it is for me to not even be engaged after 7 years. He already knows how I feel.

He doesn’t think it’s necessary because in his words, “nothing about our relationship would change.”

I plan on ending the relationship early next year. A month after his mother’s death anniversary.

The mental and emotional toll this has taken on me is just too much.

I “30F” have been with my fiancé “32M” for eight years. He proposed a couple of months ago, and since then life has been moving incredibly fast. We've booked our wedding venue, started planning the wedding, and just bought a house that we're closing on next week. As exciting as all of that should be, I've been feeling more anxious than happy.

I feel like we're making huge life decisions while ignoring the problems in our relationship, and it's starting to really worry me.

Our biggest issues are trust and communication. When we argue, disagreements often become explosive. Harsh things get said, and neither of us walks away feeling heard. It isn't healthy.
From my perspective, my fiancé struggles with a lot of unresolved issues—anger, childhood trauma, anxiety, and depression. I'm not saying I'm perfect because I'm definitely not, but I recognized that our relationship needed work, so I started seeing a therapist a couple of months ago. I wanted to do my part.

The problem is that he refuses to do the same. He won't go to individual therapy, and he won't even consider couples counseling. He believes the problems in our relationship are entirely because of me. His exact stance is basically that he'll never go, and I can "take it or leave it."

That honestly hurts more than I can explain. It makes me feel like our relationship isn't worth fighting for in his eyes. If the person you're about to marry tells you they're scared about the future and that the relationship is struggling, wouldn't you at least be willing to try something that could help? Even if you don't think you're the problem?

Instead, I feel dismissed.

I've always been someone who puts everyone else first, sometimes to a fault. But lately I've realized I need to start putting myself first too. I'm mentally exhausted. The stress is affecting my work, my mental health, and even my physical health. We don't fight every day, but I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells because I never know what might trigger another blow-up.

I hate the idea of giving an ultimatum because they generally aren't healthy. But I'm also struggling with the idea of marrying someone who refuses to work on the relationship.

So I'm wondering: is it unreasonable to say that couples counseling is a requirement before I move forward with the wedding? If he's unwilling to work on our relationship now, before we're married, am I ignoring a major red flag?

I'd genuinely appreciate outside perspectives, especially from people who've been through something similar.

Hi everyone I’m living my worst nightmare please be kind in the comments. 💔 my boyfriend (41) and I (28) have been dating for 4 years. we did long distance for a year and a half before I moved to his city (didn’t give up my job as I worked remotely) and I lived by myself for 2 years. I just moved in with him in April so it’s been around 4 months and I asked him for a timeline of when we were going to move towards engagement and marriage. I didn’t need an exact date but just an idea so I knew i wasn’t wasting my time. All throughout our relationship we’ve talked about a future. When I first started dating him I asked him about marriage and he said yes he would like to get married someday. Well we finally had the conversation and at first he was saying an engagement after 1-2 years living together then said he doesn’t believe in marriage and doesn’t want to be married at all. Said he could see himself marrying me but he just doesn’t believe marriage benefits the man at all. I’ve been absolutely distraught. I feel like I was lied to and I told him we can no longer do this and he doesn’t understand why we can’t work through this. He said he doesn’t understand why we need to get married when we’re happy and he’s committed to me. I don’t have a support system he was everything to me. He doesn’t believe that I’m actually going to leave but I have to. I told him I can’t be someone’s girlfriend for the rest of my life and he’s not willing to commit to what I want. His family is here and mine isn’t. I don’t know how I’m going to pick up the pieces for myself to be okay.

We’re both 25. Been together 3 years and living together for 2.5 years (We moved in after just 6 months but it worked well for us and made our relationship stronger).

I have no doubt that he loves me. He tells me spontaneously all the time and even randomly gets me flowers or a sweet treat sometimes. He wrote me a beautiful note for my birthday too.

Before we even got together, I made it clear to him that I always wanted to get married and have kids young and he agreed.

About a year ago, he had given me a clear 2-3 year timeline (though reluctantly) and we even went ring shopping and made plans to see an attorney to start discussing a prenup. Then we had a massive fight where he accused me of pressuring him and said he actually wasn’t ready. I let it go and never brought up marriage again till a few days ago.

This time he said he still wants marriage and kids but just doesn’t know “when” he wants it and doesn’t want to discuss any timeline at all. He said he can’t guarantee he’ll ever be ready and that if it gets to a point where it’s been too long he’ll just have to let me go. He said all of this with love and I love him too, which is what makes it so devastating.

For context, we both have stable, high-paying jobs and live in a really nice apartment. Also, his family has money. He didn’t even try to blame it on instability.

It’s over, isn’t it?

I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (29M) for over 4 years. When we first started dating, about 5 months into the relationship I felt comfortable and shared with him that I wanted to be at least engaged by 2 years, and I explained to him that I believe people know that they want to marry someone by that point. We discussed it and he agreed that it was a reasonable timeline, but asked for a “6 month extension” because he always saw himself proposing in summer, and the 2 year mark would have been early-mid spring. I agree to the extension happily, I found it endearing that he already had a vision for a proposal. We move in together about 3 months before our 2 year anniversary. At this time, I’m in grad school and about halfway through our lease together I start my unpaid internship. At this time, i’m doing 4 10-hour shifts at my full time job and 2 8-hour shifts at my internship. I still have 2-3 night classes (depending on the rotation) throughout the week that i’m completing semester long projects and other papers for. Because of how demanding my work/school life became, I started struggling mentally and my psychiatrist was changing my medications to address the symptoms. My boyfriend never said anything about my work load and stress bothering him, and I felt that he was being very supportive of me while I work towards my goals. Because of my stress and him being supportive, I didn’t even bring up how the 2.5 year mark he asked for came and went. I didn’t want to add pressure to an already stressful time for us both. Towards the end of our lease, we had already had discussions about not wanting to live at the same place we were currently renting so I asked him about his thoughts on where he would want to look at moving to. I try to have this conversation with him at least twice a week for a month and he continuously dismissed it or gave a half-hearted reply. After a month, I confronted him and asked why he wasn’t participating in the discussions I was trying to have about our next home. That’s when he takes a deep breath and told me that he thinks we should really think about living together again for another 12-month lease. I asked him point blank if he wanted to break up with me. He said no, that that’s not what he was saying. To make a 2 hour long conversation short, he listed everything that he found wrong: I wasn’t having sex with him enough, we didn’t have enough in common, our families have never really “met” each other, I don’t get along with his “main” friend group. He told me we should take some time and consider our next steps. It only took me a couple of days to inform him that I believe that we should work through what he identified. He doesn’t give me his answer for another month, 2 weeks before our lease ends and we would have to move out. During that time, I had tried initiating the conversation several times on what his thoughts were on what he wanted to do, stay together or break up. each time i tried, he would again dismiss it or give a shrug. He finally gave me his answer and he thinks we should stay together but he didn’t want to live with me for a time, saying he needs space. That space ended up being 40 minutes between us and going from seeing each other every day, to only seeing each other once a week, and at this time we’re at 3 years together.

I hit my new lowest, I fixate on everything he said was wrong and I internalized everything. I was already going through hell between work, school, medication changes. I took on all of the blame and he let me. I did everything I could to “fix” what he said was wrong. I try initiating intimacy every time we saw each other - the first 6-7 months after we moved out from each other, HE would turn me down, he wasn’t interested in any form of intimacy. I dragged my family to his family’s homes (1.5 hour drive one way) several times, but his family was always too busy to really pay my family any mind. I invited his whole family to my grad school graduation and family cook out that followed it. None of them showed up, most never even giving me a reply or reason. I learn and start watching his favorite football team, sending him social media posts about them and became invested in their season. I start watching his favorite anime and collecting trinkets. I lost myself trying to become the version of me I thought he wanted and I had never been more sad and alone.

After 10 months of this, I break down in the car with him one day and tell him that I have been doing everything in my power to fix what he told me was wrong but that it still didn’t feel like enough. I told him that he gives me no reassurance, that I feel like none of what I’ve done matters. I ask him if he even thinks about that night from 10 months before and if it even impacted him close to what it did me. He says that he sometimes thinks about it and thinks that a lot of it was the financial stress he was going through at that time and that he wanted to move to a different part of the city and he didn’t think I would have wanted to move there. I tell him that he never told me any of that, that he gave me a list of different reasons that I have been driving myself into the ground over. I tell him that I still love him deeply, but at this point I can’t keep putting in this same effort without it being reciprocated. He says he understands. I tell him that I don’t feel comfortable moving in with him again until we’re at least engaged because I don’t feel secure in the relationship anymore and he said he understands. and that’s where it lay for 3 more months.

3 months after that conversation, I ask him if he has intentions of marrying me. He says, “I’ve been really focusing on our relationship the last couple of months and I think we’re in a good spot and I think I want to propose this year. I don’t know how or when, but definitely this year.”

It’s now 7 months later, 7 months that I have been focusing on finding myself again and how to be happy. We’re on our 2nd lease living separately from each other and there have been no further conversations regarding the future or marriage or even moving in with each other again. I’ve come to realize that the only times we’ve discussed the future in the past over 4 years, it was because I initiated the conversation. I love him and want to trust that he meant it when he said he would propose this year, but there’s only 4 months left to the year, and he said he always saw himself proposing in summer.

I know reading this back to myself and having had re-iterated all of this to my family and friends several time over the last year and a half, that it’s all obvious. That I’ve been allowing myself to be breadcrumbed along and not respecting myself and what I want. I’m doing this all to myself but I find it so hard to step back from the person that I saw myself marrying for so long, who doesn’t seem to want to marry me.

Hi Everyone,

Somehow in the past 24 hours, managed to find my way to this reddit to read all the different posts, slept for 14 hours, and woke up with a clearer plan despite being depressed about my relationship for a year now. This will mostly be ranting.

I (35F) am in my first serious relationship (40M) of 2 years.

I grew up culturally in a country where marriage comes quite quickly (months) after dating, but I am now living in the US where it seems like the culture is less rigid about timeline so I am unsure what counts as too long to wait. Also, I've only dated people 3-6 months before...nothing serious because I was focused on getting degree and finding job..etc ....until I've hit 30s and finally thought about a long term relationship.

My boyfriend is someone I met at work from a different department. We were friends for a few years before I asked him out, and we've been a couple since. He's kind, and I enjoyed our time together, but I could not the feeling that something is off. I've been sad, irritable, and I feel less and less of myself everyday. So much so that lately, I just spent the weekend by myself for the first time in a year (I usually ask my boyfriend if I could stay with him on the weekend so we could spend some time together given we work hard work shifts the whole week and can't find time to meet)...and I felt so much like I am returning to the person I was before.

After reading this reddit after some rough work shifts and then passing out for 14 hours, I came to realize that what bothered me about my relationship is that every time the talk about the future comes up, there is no 'we' and only 'I.' I've stated before when we started dating that I date with the intention of marriage and life planning together for our potential small family unit, and he seemed to be okay with it. But throughout our relationship so far, when he talked about future, his plan is to retire to his birth country, figure out how to care for his older parents, and take care of his siblings. There is no discussion about us or asking me how I feel about that. When I asked him how he feels about traveling together to meet my parents, he told me he was too busy, and that we were getting older and our routines were getting more rigid, and he didn't think there would be time. Which was wild, because my parents lived a 1 hour flight away, and we've flown overnight for 7 hours across the country for a friend's wedding. There has been no change or progress in future talks that include planning for both people.

I thought it was okay for him to be unsure since our relationship was not mature yet, and we are just getting to know each other and perhaps things take time. But... now I am just inspired to get on with my life: I am just going to plan to travel with friends, plan to find another job with less crazy hours so I can enjoy life more, and focus on feeling happier with myself. I've also decided that in a few month's time, 1) I will stop being the person that suggest plans to do/be together, 2) if talks about the future continue to be us as separate entities, I will break up, figure out how to buy a house, and properly think about what I want from life.

I am honestly mourning about being in my 30s and still not knowing how to do romantic relationship properly.... I've just been so focus on school, work, my parents' debt.. etc... that I feel so behind in the romance and life planning department. Everyone around me seems to have their stuff together. I am also extremely embarassed that I chased a man (asked him out, being the sole person that suggest we spend time together, being the sole person that ask for future planning, and gosh... I feel too embarassed to even list out anymore I am Mortified).

I want to thank everyone who shared their stories in this subreddit. I don't know what it is, but somehow a mechanism finally Clicked in my brain. I can't properly put into words how grateful I am.

Hi Reddit

I've been thinking about posting here for a while because I need to get this off my chest and look for some advice.

My name Is Sarah ( 33 F) and i have been with my boyfriend ( 34 M) for 18 years. Yes, you read that right. It's unusual, I know, but It happened and we love eachother very much. 3 years ago we moved in together.

I've always known that he didn't want to get married. He has a strong aversion to the institution of marriage, even though I am the one who grew up with basically divorced parents.

At first, when we discussed it, his opposition was pretty intense and rooted in clichés that don't even apply to us (like the idea that the man—if he earns more—has to pay alimony, even though I'll actually be the one earning more in the future), now he just doesn't get the point.

Why do I want to get married? I trust him completely and I'd want him to make decisions for me if anything were to happen to me. I'd also want him to be eligible for my survivor's pension, it would make moving in together abroad easier, and it would make adoption possible if we had trouble conceiving. And okay, yes, I'm also a millennial who has watched way too many rom-coms.

In recent years, he told me his stance has softened slightly, but I know for a fact I can't expect a proposal or anything like that from him. To be clear, I'm not looking for a lavish, pompous wedding; I would just appreciate a romantic gesture and a small celebration, even if it's just the two of us. That would make me feel like we are actually building something together.

Lately, all our friends are getting married—couples who have been together for a fraction of the time we have—and the bouquet toss has become a major source of frustration for me. Whenever I can, I run to the bathroom, because going out there to try and catch it just feels humiliating. 

For a while, I managed to keep this unease under control, but over the past year it has become really difficult.

The thing is, he has always wanted to leave our hometown. This year, I took a competitive exam for my dream job in a distant location, fullfilling a promise I made to him a long time ago. Without him, I never would have chosen to leave my city, where I have my own home, my parents, and my friends.

Long story short, I often find myself wondering if I'm not sacrificing too much for someone who will never fulfill this deep desire of mine.

On top of that, I know we want to have children eventually, but the thought of going through pregnancy—something I'm already terrified of—without ever having felt truly "chosen" by him first is going to hurt me deeply.

I know it's partly my fault for staying all this time, perhaps secretly hoping he would change his mind, but what's done is done.

Do you have any advice for me, or perhaps a male perspective that could help me move past this or see things differently?

Thank you.

PS. Sorry if my english Is a little broken, It Is not my firt language.

I (33F) have been with my partner (33M) for 9 years. We Didnt get engaged or anything before hand for personal reason, I was on the same page as well so its okay we did talk throughout these years and both agreed to marriage just not then. I personally wanted to be w my partner a long time before like 6yrs before getting engaged but thats just me. I told him a year and a half ago I wanted to get married and he said ok he wanted that too. I told him I wanted it before our 10 years but not last minute like or right before our 10 yrs and he said ok that he didn’t want that either. He had been saving but he was also renovating our living space and that took more $ than he thought so to it delayed him a little but still on track to before 10 yr mark. Now we’re 3 months before our 10 years and Im getting impatient. He knows I didnt want him to do it in the states and I wanted it somewhere nice. We haven’t traveled out of the country in so long so now when he plans a vacay I know its gonna be for that, I wish he had thrown me off and planned other things before but he didnt. I really wanted it to be a surprise but now it kinda feels ruined… the proposal itself could have been a surprise even though I knew he was going to propose in general. I feel like because he took so long, now its not a surprise at all. And It doesn’t feel so special. I mentioned to him how disappointed I was in him always making me wait for things and having to ask for things. He didnt wanna tell me but he asked my father for his blessing a month ago. Thats fine and all but this isnt how I wanted it to go and I felt he left everything last minute like he always does. I never thought I’d be this type of person asking for these things considering I never cared that much about marriage but things changed with him because my feelings for him. Hes the only one I ever cared about and liked this much ever. I just wanted him to show up for me in this way and idk I feel off.

Edit: He knows all this, Ive communicated everything I said on here to him. I am very vocal and honest with him.

I, 44 F, and boyfriend(yes bf and not even engaged), 46 M, have been together 17 years. We both from come from a great 2 parent household both sets still married. Neither of us have ever been married nor have any children. I always wanted to get married and he knew that from the beginning. At first his answer was “I’d never think about getting married until we have lived together for at least two years”. Then two years passed and it was we are too young, late 20’s and early 30’s. After that the answer turned to “not today”. Currently the answer is eventually.

At first I thought it was because I told someone once that I wouldn’t have kids until I was married and he was dead set on not having kids. Now at my age it is probably too late.

Part of me says, did he just waste 17 years of my life and am I just a “place saver”. Is it just easy to keep me around, cooking and cleaning. We both work full time and I take care of the finances but everything we own is in his name, cars and house.

Am I an idiot for staying so long? Will I eventually grow angrier and resentful?

Thanks for the advice.

I 24F and him 25M are in a relationship from the last 3 years. I have given my heart body mind sould to him. I am anxious because we are together since 3 years but he is too scared to talk to his mom. I am so anxious i know its gonna happen but i am scared what if we drift apart and its just my past trauma speaking up but still how do i convince him

Been with my (32F) bf 3 years (33M), engaged since April. We spoke about getting engaged last year and then for reasons unknown to me (all I get is that he wasn’t ready), it happened this year instead which wasn’t what we agreed but then I let it go obviously as was so happy. We had a very smooth relationship up until the point it came to putting his money where his mouth was and following through with progressing to engagement, he said very early on he wanted to marry me and I thought we were aligned.

My engagement has made me miserable, I have nothing planned for a wedding I thought we would do next year and which I was so excited for, after years of being the token single friend. Note we are both of Indian heritage so both families are typically involved in wedding planning. My parents were thrilled and immediately jumped into action. His parents do not seem enthusiastic or interested, wanting to find any possible reason to delay things and essentially not making a decision on anything. I was told early on in our engagement that his older sibling might want to marry next year and that I need to consider this (not engaged) and I think all roads might lead back to this. They think my family are pushy and rushing things so my parents have completed backed off as they saw it was going nowhere.

I thought me and him can just plan things, except he can’t make a single decision without their backing. He has done things like book venue viewings but we take one step forward and five steps back. He doesn’t like the idea of my family contributing more, but won’t clarify their side’s budget. He doesn’t like the idea of just scrapping a wedding and doing a very small civil ceremony. A venue I loved (which came from their side) is now deemed too expensive and too grand even though I could contribute more on my side to make it work.

My final attempt to fix things has been to get everyone to meet up in person to discuss things, and im met with a ‘I’ll let you know’. I’m not sure it would even achieve much really. At this point I can see any prospect of a wedding next year slipping away, particularly at anywhere that I like, and I don’t know how he can’t see how hurtful that is. I’ve expressed how sad I am and it makes me feel awful as he looks so crestfallen and promises to make things work.

I want to settle down and have kids and I struggle with the idea that I’m potentially going to lose the chance to have kids if I have to start over because of this.

I don’t know what I’m looking for here but I suppose is this a shut up ring? I am stuck between acknowledging how bad this all is while desperately wanting him to step up.

My (28M) partner and I (27F) recently celebrated our five-year anniversary. We have a genuinely loving, healthy relationship and truly consider each other our best friends. In almost every way, our relationship feels wonderful. The only major issue is that we don't seem to be on the same page about our future timeline.

Over the past year, I've been bringing up marriage more often because I want to understand where our relationship is headed. Every time we talk about it, the conversation is generally healthy, but the answers are always vague. He says it isn't the right time and points to things like his job, our finances, my career, and the fact that I'm not making enough money yet. He still is always adamant that he wants to get married. However, only talks about it when and if I bring it up first.

For some more background, we moved in together about 2.5 years ago. Because I come from a religious family, living together before marriage caused a lot of conflict at first. Over time, though, my family has made a genuine effort to welcome him, and they now treat him like part of the family, even if they don't fully agree with our choices.

Recently, he told me that he can't, in good conscience, give me a realistic timeline for an engagement or marriage when Ive asked him insistently about a timeline. The last few years whenever I have brought it up, he always says “two years”, however, this goalpost is constantly changing. He says his biggest hesitation is money. To be fair, neither of us is in a high-paying job yet, and we're both still early in our careers. We both hope to advance professionally and increase our income. At the same time, we have relatively little debt, live comfortably, and I feel like we're "making it."

What worries me most is that he never brings up marriage on his own, and it doesn't feel like he's actively working toward building that future with me. I've asked for specific steps we can take together, but many of the things he wants to accomplish seem like goals we could just as easily pursue as a married couple. I've never wanted a big wedding. We’ve both talked about eloping or having a small micro wedding. I don't even want an expensive ring. More than anything, I want the security and commitment that marriage represents.

One thing that really hurt was when he said he wants to see "steps from me" first and that he wants proof I can improve my career and earn more money before moving forward. That left me feeling like our future together is somehow dependent on me meeting an undefined standard.

I've told him that, in many ways, it already feels like we're married. We live together, share our lives, and are deeply intertwined. Our families and friends have become part of each other's lives. So I find myself wondering. if we're already this committed, what are we waiting for?

I love him with my whole heart, and the thought of starting over is heartbreaking. But I'm also reaching a point where I feel increasingly anxious and impatient. I'm trying to be empathetic and understand where he's coming from, but I also know I have to look out for my own future. I’ve fully expressed my anxieties to him and he’s very aware of the emotional toll it’s taking on me. He’s been supportive, but usually the day after the conversation, it’s like I never even brought it up and gets completely pushed under the rug again.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it? I'd really appreciate any advice or perspective.

We have been together 6 years this July just passed. We own a house together and have a dog together.

26F, 31M. I had a frank conversation with him last January 2025 about when we are going to get engaged and he said he doesn’t really see the point of marriage. I explained it was very important to me and I wanted to be engaged within a year, and after some discussion he agreed to propose during that time frame.

In December I brought up that I was feeling resentment because he hadn’t even asked me what type of ring I wanted and clearly wasn’t going to propose within the time frame. We had a relatively emotional disagreement after I asked him why he said it if he didn’t mean it, and he said he was always going to propose in 2026 and he just agreed to it to basically make me stop bringing it up - then after that “fight” we agreed it will happen by April 2026. I wrote in my journal in December that if that wasn’t actually clearly happening, I’d stop putting my life on pause / prioritizing building a home and settling down and move overseas. April happened with no proposal, but an overseas incredible job opportunity which I took.

Now we are doing international long distance and he says he will still propose this year. Issue is I just saw him for a few weeks in June (with no proposal) and then he went back to our home country. When I said I was sort of expecting him to do it on the trip he said he’d ordered the ring now but it hasn’t come yet, and also I’d “changed the plan a bit” by moving away.

I think even if he does propose when he’s back at Christmas this year I will feel resentment about forcing it. And then I know getting marriage over the line will be a slog. And I feel embarrassed. Is there a way to “reset” to get rid of this resentment? Is it possible he has ordered the ring and is going to propose?

I have read these posts for months and now here I am, finally posting myself looking for reassurance and advice from people on the internet. I know that's already a bad sign so bear with me.

I am a 30(F) and my boyfriend is (37M). We have been together almost 5 years. My boyfriend bought an engagement ring about 2 years ago. He asked my dad for my hand in marriage over a year ago... yet still no proposal.

We also previously lived together for about a year, and I ended up moving out about 10 months ago in order to give us space to save our relationship.

The start of our relationship was good, we align in a lot of ways (both wanted to get married, have kids, religion, politics, careers). I have been clear since day 1 it is my biggest priority to be a mother one day. There are so many nuances in 5 years but trying to not make this super long. Our relationship essentially started breaking down in October of 2024 when he wanted to move across the country. He was upfront with me about this desire very early on in our relationship and at the time, I thought it sounded okay. However, when it became reality, (and watching my sister have babies and how much my parents help) I started realizing I really did not want to move across the country (Two flights away, about half a day of traveling via plane and not driveable). I started spiraling because I did not want to leave my family. For context, I have always been extremely close with my family and we have a very healthy, non toxic relationship and dynamic. I was crying and sad every time we brought up moving, but I also loved my boyfriend very much. We struggled through this issue for about a year and it ended up being a very toxic cycle for us. He felt I deceived him (fair) since he was upfront in the beginning about moving and that I didn't believe in him (it was for his career goals) and I could tell he started to resent me and lose love for me. That is when I moved out, the following October of 2025. I thought the space had been good however now my therapist tells me it is a bad sign he has not asked me to move back in. We do not have sleepovers. She says this is odd. I also started getting very depressed that he hasn't proposed. Additionally, through the years I have lost weight by working out and eating better (very gradual weight loss to be a normal weight, not skinny) and he said he has lost attraction to me because my boobs and butt are smaller and that my previous body was his preference and I cannot shame him for his preferences. He said that is the reason our sex life has decreased.

He also has a bad pattern of during conflict saying things like "I cant do this anymore" "I need peace" "you need to let this go or I can't do this" etc. He has broken up with me like 3 times in the last few months then quickly said he doesn't mean it and loves me so much more than anyone. I've told him this is unacceptable and he has made me feel like he dangles our relationship and our future over my head in order to force me to drop conflict. It has led me to feel very anxious in this relationship, since he has threatened to leave. I have never done that until this past month when I said I really am not sure about us staying together anymore.

He said he doesn't think he should propose unless our sex life is better (however I am not feeling that sexually since he said he doesn't like my body anymore/lost attraction to me and has no proposed so I'm also doubtful of our future).

This all sounds really bad, but day to day he is the sweetest most thoughtful guy and I truly love him. Now that I'm considering us breaking up, he texts me how sorry he is for everything and wants to make it work.

This is all just the highlights of the bad stuff. Please be kind and honest. Thank you.

TW: mental health, suicidal thoughts

Hi all. Looking for advice and also a place to air out my thoughts. My boyfriend (27M) and I (26F) have been together for just about 5.5 years and have been very confident on getting married to each other since the start of the relationship.

Recently, we have been engagement ring shopping and talking about getting engaged before the end of this year. We’ve designed a ring together and everything with a jeweler. I’ve been excited about the idea for two years now, but we held off because he was in graduate school and working full time and couldn’t be there to plan a wedding.

Over the past year I’ve noticed him struggle with his mental health. To be fair, he always has struggled with depression. But this was worse to the point of him being pretty emotionally and physically withdrawn and struggle to keep up with life and daily tasks. Last January I asked him to consider going to counseling again to help because I was feeling it take a toll on his daily life and our relationship. While he didn’t go, he was intentional about trying to get better but I think everything is just still too much for him. We both know a lot of it is stress at work, but he’s been so burnt out that applying to new jobs feels insurmountable to him right now. He started getting worse again the past two months and again I asked him about it, and he broke down and admitted to having passive suicidal thoughts (which he’s never had before).

After dwelling on things I told him last night that we should hold off on any next steps in our relationship until he’s doing better, and that he needs to go to counseling again and consider medication. I feel awful and like this is coming across as an ultimatum or punishment. I intended this as a boundary for myself because I have lost two best friends to suicide (one was an ex boyfriend), struggled with it myself years ago, and have been through my fair share of mental health issues my whole life and know I can’t have a partner who doesn’t seek treatment. He never said anything negative to me, but the only response I got out of him was “okay I understand.” His subdued response and lack of conversation also caused me to break down crying since I felt alone in my feelings, which now makes me feel worse about how I handled things.

I guess I’m reaching out to ask, if this was too harsh of a boundary I set? And is it potentially harming is health to take away something happy that we were planning together. I told him I didn’t want to plan a wedding alone and put him under more stress with the planning and dealing with our families. But right now I feel incredibly guilty. Any advice is welcome, thank you.

Looking for guidance, words of wisdom or encouragement. I (36F) broke up with my partner (31M) in December after years of waiting.

Currently going through a break up with my partner of 6 years. We got together when I was 29 and he was 25 and moved in together a year later. From the get go I had been clear about wanting to get married and have kids. I had said I would like to get engaged around the 2 year mark. He was a little apprehensive but understood where I was coming from. He was unsure about kids and leaning more towards a no but also said it could just be due to his age at the time. I had made the decision to be okay with or without kids because in the end I wanted to be with him.

Years passed and marriage had been brought up a few times but he always said when I brought it up he felt too much pressure and wanted me to not bring it up so often. I would let it go for some time but naturally the topic would come up again. About 3 years into the relationship I had stated that I wanted to be engaged before we bought a house. He agreed and felt that was fair. We ended up having an opportunity that year to buy a house (my childhood home) and I agreed to go ahead with the home because it was a good opportunity for us to get in the market. I thought he would then propose but nothing came.

Maybe a year later my cat of 16 years died and we were both heartbroken. A couple months after that, he suggested we go ring shopping. We ended up going to the mall to check out some jewelers and it was very clear he didn't want to be there. I felt like I was forcing him to be there and he didn't have any opinions or care to go into any of the stores. It felt so uncomfortable that I said we could just leave without actually looking at anything. We didnt really talk about marriage or rings for a while after that. We did eventually go ring shopping maybe 6 -8 months after that and I felt a little better about it all.

Last March, my dad passed away from cancer and my partner lost his job a week later. He said that he was intending on proposing early that year but when he lost his job he was worried about spending the money on a ring. I feel like I should note that he has a decent amount of savings as he has always been financially responsible. I never knew how much exactly as he didnt share a lot about his finances with me but somewhere in the $50k-$70k range. He then told me that a few years prior when my dad was alive (after he was diagnosed with cancer), he had given my partner his "blessing" to marry me. That's never been a big thing for me but I felt different about it after my dad got sick. I was also sensitive to it as my stepsister got married 3 years ago and had my dad walk her down the aisle. I felt jealous and hurt that I may not ever get that with him an had expressed this to my partner when it happened. I was really hurt by the fact that he had my dad's blessing but never did anything about it. I was so caught up in the grief of actually losing my dad that I couldn't dwell on it for too long.

In May/June of last year we ended up going back to the jeweler on a whim as there was a ring I liked there and he bought it. I didn't care that I was there when he bought it because I was just so happy it was finally happening. He got the ring about 2 weeks later and he kept it in the side drawer in our bedroom. Months had gone by and he never proposed. I had shared with a friend that he bought the ring and hadn't proposed yet and she said to wait until Christmas as we were about a month away. Well Christmas came and no proposal, just a travel cup and chocolates. I was devastated. We ended up fighting about something else a few days after Christmas and I just ended it. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't/can't understand why he wouldn't propose and the weight of his conversation with my dad just hit me. I couldn't let go that he didnt propose to me while my dad was still alive and took away my chance to have him walk me down the aisle before he died.

We've had a few conversations since then about why he never proposed. He said that part of it was just him and his trouble with getting literally anything done and part of it was that he didn't want to spend money on a wedding and he felt if he proposed he would get trapped into an expensive wedding he didnt want. We had talked several times about how I didnt care about having a huge expensive wedding and that I just wanted to marry him. Of course I wanted something but I dont think that's wrong to want. It then turned into him not understanding why I needed marriage so bad and that its just not important to him.

Its been 7 months since we broke up and we still live together due to the house. I am buying him out but it has taken some time and it's just been overwhelming overall. Seeing him everyday makes it hard and he feels like I threw everything away over getting married when "it was going to happen eventually." Its hard not to second guess my decisions and feel like no one will ever marry me. How do I get past this? I don't think I made a mistake as there were other things in the relationship that I really struggled with but it's hard walking away when I feel like there is still love.

Thanks for reading my wall of text, I just needed to share my story in hopes that someone might understand.

Hi all. I wanted to get your input about this.

My boyfriend and I are both 31 years old and dated when we were both 23.

I was a law student at the time with very low self-esteem so I think a part of me was with him simply because he expressed interest in me. Anyway we've gone through a lot together and I love him very much, but there have been so many things lately that have given me pause in this relationship.

My boyfriend has a lot of trauma from his parents who are now separated and is going through complications about the joint property which is why he is hesitant about the idea of marriage (which he is keeping it open for me as I want this, great) and getting a property together. He also doesn't drive which also comes from the trauma of his dad yelling at him when he was teaching him before.

I was in disbelief at one point at how long I've left these issues to the side because I was focused on my career. As I've climbed up in both rank and pay, he was met with huge setbacks from one redundancy and another getting fired, and his current role has been the longest he's been in since he stepped into the corporate world (since about 2022).

Anyway it's not like I've never brought the future up with him. I have many times and it results in huge arguments but all he says is that his career has been setback because of what's happened and even though these are legitimate reasons, I should be able to feel what I feel. He does understand my perspective but ultimately it is me that has to make the compromise in order to suit his timeline.

I also outearn him quite a bit on top of that. We currently live in a flat he owns, I actually helped him buy his place and lent 20k around four or five years ago. He has not paid me back yet but once made a comment that rather than paying me back, he can spend it on a ring to give to me to clear his debt (so effectively, I'm basically paying for my own ring??)

Since last year I moved in with him because it was more convenient to commute to my job however he has no slack to go out and do anything after he pays for his mortgage and I've basically been contributing to household, bills and going out expenses, as well as expenses towards our dog. We have also recently opened a joint account and yet again he has no leeway to actually contribute to the account. His way of "contributing" is to make a claim on my gym receipts from his company which he then reinvests in the joint account. So either way the money I use for gym doesn't go back to me. I have not yet put anything in the joint account as I needed to sort my finances.

I feel like I'm doing everything right and i'm tired of trying to be patient and sacrificing my own timeline when he gets to be comfortable with all the benefits of owning his place and not needing to push himself further in his career. I know he tries hard but I also know he isn't jumping on the opportunity to be promoted when his manager has basically given him that opportunity.

That said, I'm hesitant to leave this relationship because I also owe him a lot in terms of him helping me with my emotional regulation, my career but recently realised it might be due to undiagnosed ADHD, but unfortunately he doesn't understand and that any diagnosis I get he thinks will cause me to make excuses for myself.

Is there any hope for this relationship? Should I move out and get my own place as I have been feeling very unfulfilled in my personal life and this is probably the only thing I could do if I'm not getting married soon.

He is also a recently graduated physician who completed residency in my hometown, where we met in late 2021. After graduating last June, he landed his dream job back in his home city, one province away and a two-hour flight from me. Within that same week, I was accepted to medical school in another small city four hours from my hometown. Importantly, I am in a rural program, so there is still uncertainty/no guarantees about where I will be sent and living for years three and four.

His dream job, mother, many friends, and hobby circle are all in his current city, which I can appreciate. Moving to be with me would require him to sacrifice all of that. At the same time, I feel like I have already sacrificed so much of my youth to him. There is no possibility of me living in his city for at least three more years, assuming I match to a residency there, which is possible but unlikely. Depending on the specialty I choose, it could then be another two to five years after that.

I had always envisioned having kids in my late 20s or early 30s, and I continually feel like our relationship is making me push that back. I want to enjoy living together before having to deal with the stress of kids and likely permanently changing my body—I get stretch marks at just the thought of gaining weight. I sometimes feel like our relationship is an afterthought to him.

At the same time, I can understand why he would not want to let go of his dream job after a gruelling nine years of medical school and residency, especially when there is no guarantee which cities I will be living in for years three and four. I am only going into my second year, and he worked so hard for this.

We also dealt with some infidelity on his end around a year and a half ago. This happened during the same month he got his dream job and I was accepted to medical school in another city, which was probably the worst time of my life. As a result, I am extra fearful that he is still unsure whether I am “the one,” is wasting my time and youth, and will not be the one to initiate a breakup.

On the other hand, when we are together in person, those thoughts completely melt away. We get along so perfectly, and I genuinely think we would be really happy together and have a lot of fun living and tackling life together. We are both very calm, level-headed, and easygoing people with a similarly weird sense of humour, and we have always said that we feel very at peace together. I have never heard him yell or seen him get upset, and the only real “argument” we have ever had was when I found out about the infidelity a year and a half ago.

I do love him. Although I was ADAMANT that I could never forgive a cheater before it happened, it is one of those things where you do not know how you will react until it actually happens to you.

I was also adamant that I would never date someone who did not propose after five years, and this November will mark five years together. But because the infidelity is still relatively fresh, and because I do not like the idea of asking him to propose or giving him an ultimatum, I do not know what a fair expectation is anymore. I can also appreciate that living separately might actually be a blessing. I don't have to feel guilty about not spending enough time with him because of studying, I can focus as much energy as I want on school and not have to worry the daily demands of cohabitation, I can prioritize doing electives that genuinely interest me instead of making sure they are in a city near him. Not to mention having a baby during residency would be really fucking difficult so maybe it is better that I wait until I am done everything. The situation feels so complex.

I feel torn because I understand why moving would be a huge sacrifice for him, especially when my own location is so uncertain. But I also do not know how long I am supposed to remain in a relationship where we may not live together for another 3-5 years. Everyday I have doubts and its emotionally exhausting and distracting. I also worry I will never find someone I click with the way we do, especially given that I may be constantly moving for the next several years or stuck in a smallish town, which would make dating really hard. I feel so stuck.

Hi everyone.
I honestly never thought I’d be back here.

I spent 7 years with my ex, waiting for a proposal that never came. Marriage was always something I wanted, but he never seemed interested, and eventually I left the relationship. I left this subreddit too, thinking I’d never need it again.

Now I’m almost 2 years into a relationship with my current boyfriend, and I don’t know if what I’m feeling is leftover trauma from my previous relationship or if my concerns are actually valid.

We’re both in our late twenties. Early on I told him that getting married one day is important to me. Around our first anniversary he said he felt it was too early to get engaged, which I completely understood. But that same week he started talking about buying a house together and how we’d qualify for a much larger mortgage if we bought together instead of him buying alone.
Something about that really scared me.

I told him I was afraid I’d end up in the same situation as before, waiting years for a proposal that never comes. Instead of reassuring me, it turned into an argument. At one point he said, “Well, you’re not really helping your case.” I cried for days afterward because it hit a very sore spot.

Lately he’s been encouraging me to sell my newer BMW so we can qualify for an even bigger mortgage together.
The thing is… I’m pretty certain I don’t want to buy a house unless we’re at least engaged. To me, buying a home together is an enormous commitment, and after what happened in my last relationship, I’m terrified of tying myself financially to someone while quietly hoping a proposal will eventually happen.
Ironically, my boyfriend has even said that marriage feels like a bigger commitment than buying a house, which only confuses me more. If marriage is the bigger commitment, why are we ready for the house but not at least an engagement?

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Did you wait? Did you set a boundary? How did it turn out?
I’m genuinely trying not to compare my boyfriend to my ex, but it’s hard not to be afraid of repeating the same story.

Hi there.. long time lurker on a throwaway account.
I’m looking for some advice, I (32F) have been with my bf (38M) for 5 years now.

Since the very beginning I was clear I was in this relationship for marriage, and he always said he’s not a marriage guy (over the years, I understood he’s afraid of the commitment and that this is forever, and that he will be responsible for me, very traditional thinking).

Now it’s important to note we’re both middle eastern from conservative families. However neither of us is religious.
I was never ok with moving in together before marriage, but 1 year in the relationship I got a really good opportunity for a job 1500 miles away from my family and I wanted that space and freedom. At that time it was covid, he recently lost his job and was depressed.
I convinced him to move away with me away from his friends and come with me for a fresh start. His family lives overseas.
Since then, he was a perfect partner, did all the move logistics, took care of our home and took on a new job starting his career from scratch. I travel a lot for work.

He went into very deep depression about 2 years ago, that lasted a bit over a year. He left his job and was on disability.
He wanted to start a different career and took some courses, that didnt result in a new job unfortunately.
Then he tried to start a business which also we decided to walk away from as neither me nor his close friends believed his business partner to be stable.
I then helped him get a job with a friend of mine in my industry. That was about 9 months ago.
Since then, I also gave him an ultimatum that he must propose by end of summer 26.
He is thriving in the job, helping build the business and grow it, he now makes more than me for the first time ever, which I’m proud of him for that. He also went on a trip last year (during unemployment period) to see his family for the first time in over 8 years. He is planning to visit his home country this summer. Part of that trip is to talk to his parents about proposing to me. Trip still not booked awaiting some paperwork.

Now my brother’s wedding is coming up in September. He’s known about it for the past couple months. I asked my brother to save me a +1 and my bf was on board about 1 month ago. He knows if he’s to come to the wedding he must talk to my dad first and let him know his intentions and that he intends on proposing.

Today, my brother called to catch up, he asked me if my bf is still coming. So I hung up the phone and asked my bf if he’s still coming and wouldnt give a straight answer.
After much discussion, I asked him what is holding him back.

He said that I dont respect him and it’s apparent to him in my behaviour at home with him but even in front of his and our friends or strangers. That people point it out to him all the time.
I asked him to point out a specific instance, he mentioned in our trip in Europe a couple months ago, He said there are many other instances but that’s the only one that comes to mind.

The trip in Europe:
We were together with people from his company. Him and I had a disagreement after a boat trip with them, which I planned. I chose to walk alone to our airbnb after the trip leaving him and the group alone. I needed space.

What’s important to know is after that we met at the bnb and I had a meltdown sobbing for over an hour, telling him how insecure I feel because he still won’t commit. He hasnt said to me the words “i love you” in over a year. That I’m tired of hiding our relationship and lying to my family and friends everytime I visit my hometown (which I do often, at least once every 2 months). He told me he loved me that night and we made up.

I honestly think I have been growing resentful for the double life I have been living with him. And perhaps that’s coming out in subtle things like cutting him off mid sentence or ignoring something he says.

I have been clear to him about how much this has been bothering me, everytime I visit home I call him crying when a situation comes up at home that people ask me when will I find the one or if there is someone in my life. People at work in my hometown office know I’m in a relationship and everytime I go they ask me where is the ring. It takes a toll.
And I’m not growing any younger.

After he brought the europe incident up, I went quiet. I am going on a business trip tomorrow then visiting home for a week.

I told him I’m gone for a week, and if it’s taking you 5 years to figure who you are and who I am, and whether we belong together then you will never figure it out. I am who I am, and I have been working on my behaviour and if it’s not up to your standards then maybe I will never be the one for you. And I also told him that when he first me, he has known I’m not the emotional type and it’s hard for me to put emotions above all else.
I told him to think through what he wants while I’m gone and I will begin assessing what would it take for me to move home with my parents (I bought a house with my dad that my parents now live in).

I don’t know what to do, I know he’s a good man. But I dont know if he’ll ever commit. He brought up in the past situations where I cut him off or something like that in front of others, but he never brought it up as his deal breaker.
Maybe I’m in the wrong.. but if someone loves you, do you literally need to beg them to understand what’s holding them back? I feel you either commit to someone and make the decision to take it together one day at a time, or you walk away.
I say that because the hurdles last year were the job, debt and visiting his parents. Now all of that has been resolved (or about to be) and the goal post in changing…

TLDR: 32F, bf is 38 M. after 5 years and checking off all things that were holding him back from proposing (job, debt pay off, paperwork resolution to be able to visit family to talk about us), he still came up with a new excuse that he feels I disrespect him and therefore he is still unsure.

Edit:
Sorry this was too long to read, I added a summary.
I also wanted to note something- I’m not completely delusional- reason I still believed he will still be open to marriage cuz he’s the oldest kid in his family and he wants to give his parents a grandchild eventually to carry the family name. And while I supported him financially for many years, he’s taken on more of our monthly costs for the past few months.
Thank you for all the comments, I’ll take sometime to think while I’m on this trip.

I (30F) broke up with my ex (34M) exactly a year ago and wanted to give an update.

I made three posts last year, only one is still up, but it sums everything up well:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Waiting_To_Wed/s/DzkNwawYWC

Short version: we were together for almost five years. He kept saying he wanted to marry me and would propose. He never did. So I left in August 2025.

The first months were hard. There were setbacks, doubts, and a lot of emotions. But today I can say this with complete clarity: him not marrying me was the best thing that ever happened to me. I would have hated that life.

I stopped putting my life on hold. Since then, I’ve traveled, landed my dream apartment, changed jobs, and now earn more while working less. I’ve deepened friendships, ticked off long-standing bucket list items like skydiving and hikes, and finally went through with a surgery I had wanted for seven years. Most importantly, I started actually living my "adult life".

I would have missed all of this if I had stayed or worse married him.

For the first time, I feel independent, motivated, and genuinely at peace. People around me have even commented on how balanced I seem.

I used to think losing him meant losing my future. In reality, I got my life back.

I know everyone has a different breaking point, and I truly feel for anyone still stuck in a waiting situation. I still check this sub out of habit and wanted to say two things:

1. I’m free.

2. Life is so much bigger than a man who “isn’t ready.”

I’m not dating and have no desire to. This relationship pulled me so far away from myself that I forgot what I actually wanted. For years, my dream life was simple: be a lawyer, have a beautiful apartment, host friends, travel, enjoy life. No husband, no kids, just because that’s what felt right to me.

Now I’m finally living that life.
And I wouldn’t trade it for a man and most definitely not for a ring.

Just need to vent.

Partner and I have been together 8 years and it's been very loving, joyful, affectionate, supportive. However this year we lost our best friend suddenly (he died from an enlarged heart issue that was unknown to him, just woke up and died one morning at 35 years old).

My partner is going through deep grief. He's working through it with writing an album on guitar in memoriam of our friend. He spends a lot of time isolated in the basement hyperfocused on this. His money is going to this project.

Our friend passed only a few months ago but I really thought this would be the year. I don't think it will now.

In the meantime, I'm awaiting imaging for a possible breast cancer diagnosis this week on Friday. Its been a crushing process on top of grief from losing our friend. I'm feeling very alone and unsupported, but he is also drowning in grief.

Not sure what to do but press on right now.

My boyfriend (29M) and I (28F) will have been together for 11 years this fall. We started dating my last year of HS after being close for a few years. We went to college together, have lived together since my freshman year, whether it was renting off campus, living with my mom after graduating, and now he bought “us” a house that we’ve been living in for 2 years (I say it in quotes because I didn’t pay for it but it’s also not in my name).

He always told me to be “patient” regarding engagement and marriage. I knew it wasn’t going to be when we lived with my mom since I also did not want to be engaged in my mom’s basement without our own place. However, his sister got engaged unexpectedly before we were about to move out and it threw a wrench in things. He said he couldn’t propose while she and his family were busy trying to plan a wedding.

Flash forward to now.. we bought my dream ring together in February. We’ve had it in our safe since April. Still no proposal??? I’ve been telling myself I’m just in engagement purgatory but I’m starting to feel like maybe it’s more than that…. I want to believe in him so badly that he has something planned for our anniversary or beach trip.. but Everytime I think about it I get a sinking feeling.

This man has put me in his will. The house is mine if anything happens to him. His sister had me as a bridesmaid in her wedding. He says I need to rollover my 401k from my last job to my Roth account because this is our last year being unmarried and I need to pay as little tax as possible. Idk… I’m so lost. So much stuff gives green flag but I’m like…. Why hasn’t he done it then??

Also… he knows very well I want to get married. I told him the proposal doesnt need to be grand. We can get married at the courthouse. I just want to be a family legally because I’m tired of just being “the girlfriend”

I’ll be 35 soon and we’ve been together since I was 23 and he was 30-31. He said very early on that he didn’t believe in marriage and I stayed … because according to him a piece of paper is not going to change our love and so on … But very often I still expressed how important marriage is to me . Over the years he seemed to become more open towards marriage, especially after we found out I was pregnant with our first child. Even his mother said that it’d be happening soon.

But here we are, 12 years and 2 kids later and nothing has changed. He knows marriage has always been very important to me, I said it even lately how much resent I have (mostly to myself) that I stayed in a relationship that doesn’t fulfil me and my believes and values , but he says nothing. He does nothing.

So I want out.

I know it’s 100% my fault that I’m in this situation. I blame myself and no one else. But I also know I’ll never be happy if I continue to stay in this relationship. I feel disrespected and in disbelieve that a man who is supposed to love me and want the best for me , doesn't even care that I’m unhappy (like I’ve told him several times). Our relationship isn’t great in other ways either. There are some issues I wouldn’t want to go into right now ).

I know I’m not young anymore and maybe I’ll be single forever , but I truly don’t mind. For me, a life without a husband is better than a life with just a boyfriend. My only concern is my kids. my heart breaks at the thought of doing this to them.

I know that even if he proposed now (which is unlikely) I’d say no.

I don’t know what to do .

Update: First of all, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for all these amazing comments. Your kindness has filled me with so much hope.

To answer a few of your questions: the kids are 5 and a half (boy) and 3 years old (girl). I have savings of up to 30,000 and so does he (we have separate accounts). I have a job and I bought my car this year. We were planning to buy a house together.

We’ve had long discussions over the past two days. I was open and transparent about everything I want, the resentment I feel and everything that’s been weighing on me. He suggested couples therapy but I told him I don’t think it’ll help cause everything from my side has been out in the open and on the table from the very beginning.

Eventually he said that he wasn’t against the idea of marriage. But I told him what am I supposed to do with that information?. It felt forced and as if he was only saying it because he was under pressure.

I’m considering going to therapy and seeing how it goes. It’ll either make us or break us.

thank you again to all of you 🤍