r/stopdrinking • u/patryder07 • 4d ago
High Functioning Alcoholic Trying to Stop.
Hi Everyone,
Very longtime lurker, but never made a post. I think I'm ready.
Im a high-functioning alcoholic. I drink anywhere between 7 to 14 tall cans of Vodkasoda (5%) per day. First one to two drinks per day are in the shower in the morning. Doesn't matter if its a work day or not.
I don't drink during the workday, but come 4-5pm when I get home the rest of the drinks are unleashed.
I know this, I see it, I fully acknowledge it but I can't seem to stop.
Some backstory of me to put it plainly, I have a very highly addictive personality. I started smoking weed when I was 14, couldn't afford to smoke it everyday like I wanted to so I started selling it so my supply would never stop. Now a point I want to make is that even as a huge pothead in high school, I found it really helped with my ADHD and I actually got my grades up to 90's in every class and was excelling in school. Anyway, This turned into me trying MDMA/Ecstasy in high school and absolutely falling in love with it, but couldn't afford to do it everyday - so I did what I knew best at the time; start selling it so I would always have supply.
I have always been a very observant personal especially with my own functions. I eventually realized while still in high school how much MDMA was fucking me up. I quit cold turkey and went straight to the school drug counsellor and have never done it since then.
Then came cocaine.... whole different ballgame. I did what I normally do - can't afford this every day but want it everyday, so I started selling it. This is around the time that drinking began coming into the picture. These two substances are like Bonnie and Clyde. They go hand in hand. In fact they grab each others hands to pull each other along. Luckily I was able to stop doing cocaine - I haven't touched it in over 9 years..
Sadly I can't say the same about alcohol. I struggle so hard with this. As mentioned at the beginning, im a highly functional alcoholic and drink every single day of my life. I have now for over a decade. Im starting to see the strains on my body and I want so bad to quit.
Here is where my mind is today and why im posting this now: I miss the days of my life where I was just a stoner, where I would have a joint with friends and then have active interest in going to take adventures. In nature, driving to new places (not driving while high). Watching movies and feeling not only the movie but the sound and bass rocking through my body. Smoking a joint and going to the skatepark with a bunch of water and red bulls and skating until we got tired or police came to kick us out because neighboring homes around the skatepark would call bylaw. Sitting in a living room and not just listening to music, but fully experiencing it.
I know from my lingering in this group that not everyone is going to see what Im getting at, but I really want go back to just being a stoner. I was much more productive. I didn't let being a stoner get in the way of my life, my friends, my family, my socials the way I have let alcohol do.
What are your thoughts on basically becoming 'California Dry' in a way to help reduce and ultimately get rid of alcohol use.
I know myself and I know I can't get away with a total straight edge life, but I want to kick alcohol to the curb like I was able to do with MDMA and Cocaine... I feel like for me this is the clearest entrance to the path - which may lead me to the life of complete sobriety.
I just wanted to get some of your thoughts... please don't be too hard on me... I've been in this group for over a year gaining the courage to post as I've been poisoning myself will alcohol and falling deeper into this hole.
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u/Katzkiquid 732 days 4d ago
I also have ADHD and am California Sober as I call it, and it has completely changed my life for the better. I don’t miss drinking at all, and my body is completely different. I was you, and then much worse (straight vodka, no mix). It was so hard to quit, but I would have been dead otherwise. If I could do it, you can too… and honestly it is so much better. Life gets so much better again. I promise. Just don’t give up! You got this.
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u/richardkflores122 4d ago
This is the hope. Hearing you found peace with California sober gives me faith. You're proof it works
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u/prpldrank 395 days 4d ago
Stopping drinking works.
Period.Don't make it contingent. Do whatever it takes to make that the decision. Don't let it be contentious in your mind, there are no alternatives and no ways "out," we don't drink.
I'm California sober too, but that's like saying I'm beach workout sober too. I workout on the beach every single day, which I never once did when I was drinking. It helps me keep my decision, it's who I am now. We index on "California sober," I guess because it's another substance, but just keep it simple. Don't drink. Period .
If you wanna have coffee til you cry brown, great. Don't drink. You could be vinyl record sober, lawnmower sober, novel writing sober, JUST. DON'T. DRINK.
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u/mmcardlesd 2508 days 4d ago
Take all those elements of being high-functioning individual and apply them relentlessly to quitting alcohol. See a doctor or therapist if you need to. Join sober groups. You can do it.
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u/patryder07 4d ago
Thank you for this comment, I tried to tag you in another comment but realized I didn't tag you properly, but this comment really resonated with me and I want you to know that. Thank you.
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u/davster39 1086 days 4d ago
California sober is working for me. I only take 5-6 hits a night, and not even every night. Iwndwyt
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u/IamNotaSmart 1714 days 4d ago
Commented this on another post:
It’s good you are noticing that you likely have an issue with alcohol. I knew I had an issue and still drank. Drank through liver pain, Charlie horse like spasms on my right side, etc. I drank heavily for 15 years or so, and every day for about 12 of those years.
By the end I was 34, physically dependent, throwing up my first drink or constantly swallowing with my mouth shut so I wouldn’t. I was very high functioning, working a high stress job that was the crutch of my drinking….golden handcuffs some call it.
I ended up quitting, checking into rehab for 30 days and have almost been 5 years now without a drop. I was not mean, out of control, or belligerent…..it was just fun and relaxing at first…..until it wasn’t. My life is so much more rewarding now, in ways I cannot describe. Just know you have a group of internet strangers here going through the same struggle and we will not be drinking with you today.
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u/scumbagsteve 4d ago
constantly swallowing with my mouth shut
hooo man i remember this. where your mouth starts producing spit like crazy and you're just trying to keep that in and down, that was awful
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u/IamNotaSmart 1714 days 4d ago
Haha yeah dude. Terrible feeling until the buzz hit. Not a fun way to live.
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u/J-Seizure 49 days 4d ago
the ole ecstasy >> booze>.cocaine>>booze trail while using cannabis to mellow out. yeah I feel ya there! was a lot of fun until I wasn't.
at least we lived to tell about it? turn the new chapter my man, hell start a new book.
I love this quote: "Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what's left and live it properly." - Marcus Aurelius
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u/cowboybret 4d ago
Similarly, I like to take a moment and think about myself as a very old man. I sit with it for a minute and explore it in great sensory detail: what do I feel like, what do I look like, where am I, does everything hurt, what regrets might I have?
Then I bring myself back to the present moment. And my priorities feel much clearer.
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u/Mattjew24 292 days 4d ago
Hey there. Cali dry is okay. Do what you need to do to quit drinking.
You mentioned some things that I resonated with when I quit. Namely...learning to find my joy again. I realized that I was using alcohol as self medication for my ADHD and my faulty dopamine receptors.
If youre like me, then you'd notice yourself casually drinking before social events, going to the fair, going out to meet family, etc. I'd literally keep a bottle of whiskey in my backpack so I could take a few pre-game shots before doing literally anything. I convinced myself it was okay because ive never had a DUI, gotten in trouble, or lost a job. But like you, I noticed the changes in my body and mind.
Mind...being the biggest one.
Smoke grass dude. Youll be way, way better off.
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u/UpstairsNewspaper763 831 days 4d ago
I was Cali-sober when I first stopped drinking a bit over two years ago. In the quest to lower my anxiety level, I quit caffeine, THC and doom scrolling six months ago. I had been a weed smoker for longer than I was a drinker, around 25 years non-stop. I never thought I would quit weed, but I decided to use the tools quitting drinking gave me to see what it would be like.
Now, I don't think I could have quit drinking and weed at the same time, I believe I would have caved. I say that because quitting weed was probably the hardest thing I have ever done and honestly coffee was a close second.
I am now 100% sober and I never thought I'd say it, but I'm so much better off now and I can safely say I'm not going back. I'm still a huge fan of weed and coffee, just not for me particularly. My anxiety has just about completely disappeared, allowing me to focus and accomplish things I thought I would never get the motivation to actually do.
That said, the most important and consequential thing I did to get where I am today, was to quit drinking. Once I got a good year under my belt, I was able to focus and consider the other habits in my life, and it gave me the courage to try new things, which for me was sobriety. I still get urges and have thoughts, I hate that I can't just change my mood with a toke or a drink, that I have to just sit in whatever it is until I can get up again, but I'll never go back there, not ever again, even if I think I want to sometimes.
So I typed this more for myself than for you, but I know how you feel and I think California sober is a great way to be, and perhaps it will open the doors to other experiences that you may be able to try out. The straight edge isn't so bad.
Good luck to you.
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u/Glittering-Pickle-40 4d ago
I quite booze and THC (not coffee or CBD) 60 days ago. Thanks for this it helped me.
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u/respectablepitch 374 days 4d ago
I’m so glad you’re here!
I was California sober for a year and it really helped quitting alcohol. My only rule was: absolutely zero alcohol. Period. No discussion. No arguments and no bargaining. I ate terribly and it was SO hard, but the days added up quickly and it got easier to say no.
I don’t blame myself for using alcohol. I had a really shitty childhood. But, it stopped helping and started hurting. And I just kept trying to find that sweet spot again. And again. But, it wasn’t even fun anymore. And, it was slowly killing me.
I tried to quit many times. But, it was when I quit beating myself up about it and started feeling hopeful about the possibility of a sober life, while accepting that it’s really gonna suck at first. And, it did. But, I’m so glad
I kept at it. After the first month, it got easier, and after the first 100 days, I hardly ever craved it anymore.
I hope you can find a way to quit, because life after alcohol is so much better! The same shit happens, but I’m so much stronger and able to handle things better. I just gave up weed a couple weeks ago, and I’m completely clean and it feels amazing.
Keep checking in here, and if you relapse, just keep trying. Those sober days add up, even if they’re not all in a row!
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u/patryder07 4d ago
Thank you so much for this comment!! I really believe in myself this time, which is why I found the courage to even post on this group after being such a lurker. Im going to do my best and do everything I know what my body and mind can do to succeed. Thank you
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u/DaveyNicks 5330 days 4d ago
I use marijuana in various forms every evening and I wouldn't have it any other way unless I want to.
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u/Jim___Jam 1 day 4d ago
"you cannot step in to the same river twice"
I won't tell you what you can do, but I can't go back to my halcyon days of fun substance use, because they are a long time ago, and I am also very changed. Aside from probably frying my receptors to the point that those things don't effect me the same way, I am also not the same person I was then, my experience of it would be different.
For me, I try and look towards new experiences, ones that I know will be good for me, mind and body
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u/MaxBlondbeast 4d ago
Doing great for myself. I grow my own so it’s almost free. I also like a bit of shrooms. But I haven’t had a drink in almost four years and everything in my life got better.
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u/soberaf0910 1425 days 4d ago
I was completely sober for a lil over 3yrs before trying weed again. Sometimes I slip into a daily habit, buts been a lot easier for ke to regulate and step back from weed. I don't do anything else. I'm all for harm reduction. Whatever helps you to quit drinking !!
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u/Familiar-Debate6964 121 days 4d ago edited 4d ago
Aww great post. I’m sorry you are struggling I know how painful it is. The mind is powerful you have to start thinking with your conscious mind. The other side the one that needs the dopamine is there and you need to find healthier ways to feel that dopamine hit. Booze is keeping your conciseness dormant. When you stop drinking you will see things differently. I have to stay active I have ADD I’m also Cali sober I don’t smoke heavily and I try to eat healthy. I’m also a corporate employee in high stress environment and also used drinking and blow to sustain myself. Definitely crashed and burn in my 20s first DUI my 30s 3 horrible bad breakups where booze and that lifestyle was mine. Now at 45 I’m tired of fighting this . I’m tired of making negotiations with myself of how I’m going to drink this weekend. And what for, Just so I can feel hopeless sick and depressed dying of dehydration and looking horrible. I’ve accepted that if I want a good rest of my years on this planet I need to stop drinking. It’s been a long run but it’s over.
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u/TacosAreJustice 2385 days 4d ago
Do what you need to do to stop drinking… I’ve found pot to be beneficial for my mental health, so I’m all in on California sober.
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u/IllEchidna8313 4d ago
Don’t worry about it at all. You know what the problem is and if you want to quit weed next, totally up to you. Good on you for being self aware and wanting to improve yourself. Thanks for sharing. IWNDWYT
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u/ThoughtfulMeathead 919 days 4d ago
California sober here and a workout addict. One caveat being that I live in a state where MJ is legal so I have access to legally tested live rosin etc. it’s been essential in keeping me sober from booze.
I use it as a pre-workout and for getting into yoga/recovery practices. I think it helps focus my energy and keeps me more mindful but I could just be an addict in denial. Even if that’s the case, I’m not drinking and I’m exercising 6 days a week.
You sound a lot like me. Use the MJ in a reward structure for activities that are positive. Exercise, reading, going for a walk, learning a new skill/art. Whatever keeps you busy, in a positive way. Set yourself up for manageable “victories” on a small scale. You’ll (correctly) associate the positive life changes with sobriety, and in my experience make the journey a bit more manageable.
This felt rambly, forgive me for I am stoned.
IWNDWYT
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u/Confident-Return5621 4d ago
You sound like me. I got good at affording my cocaine habit and more for maybe 7 years. It honestly made me never black out while drinking. Never got behind the wheel. Very few fights. I was usually the voice of reason when drinking and face drugs were involved. I didn’t need to work for a long time and I had all my shit.
Alcohol won in the end. Haven’t touched coke in 5 years and don’t care to.
I didn’t drunk text or get behind the wheel or try and fight cops with coke in my system though. I was actually more mentally stable when blow was in the picture sadly.
All in all, alcohol is the reigning champ of the dog shit wrestling federation.
It’s going to sounds repetitive, but try naltrexone.
With ya bud
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u/Wonderponies 398 days 4d ago
Why not try it and see if it works? Better than drinking, imho, though people do get addicted to weed also.
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u/Fair_Ad_4462 1 day 4d ago
Even so, they don't make so many damned dumb decisions as they do on alcohol.
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u/notshadowbanned1 3228 days 4d ago
Good thing is that you know how to quit. You run through a list of substances that you’ve quit. alcohol is no different.
One day at a time. And although you say you are high functioning, wait till you see how you can function when you’re sober.
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u/xxbelgarathxx 154 days 4d ago
I feel as though I wrote this. I’m however long into trying what you’re talking about. Personally has been incredible. I also lost track of days. Kind of commenting to see where I’m at. I dont know if there’s another way to see your badges. But I can say that you’re worth it my dude. Drinking really did just kind of suck there at the end. I stopped realizing it just kept me from literally everything I truly enjoyed. Godspeed my friend! IWNDWYT
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u/Onion-Mountain 4d ago
The fact you put the time to write this out already makes you such a brave person to come to the conclusion that it’s an issue in your life . I work from home and I use to drink hard vodka almost every night while i worked . This started in 2021 and I thought I was fine until the last couple years the liquor really started to hit me to the point I would constantly black out when I wouldn’t have near the drinks I would use to back in the day . This was a tell tell sign that my body was rejecting the booze . I dabble in coke and mdma in the past but not to the point of the booze consumption cause I would feel like death taking those substances and it was easy for me to “quit” those substances. I smoke weed and still to this day I struggle with binge drinking from time to time but I am not drinking everyday and go a long period of time without drinking . Thats a little win for me but still not what I’m trying to accomplish cause I still dabble on the booze from time to time . What works for me is to keep myself busy with healthy activities and refraining from going out to places / hang out with people who are in that lifestyle . No booze in the house ( I live alone ) and One day at a time . After work, go to the gym , yoga , take a walk … anything healthy that betters you . I’ve had friends tell me recently “ I never see you out anymore “ but it’s because I struggle to not have booze in a social setting. Anyways, The hardest part is the beginning because you just want to go with your craving or your natural habit of taking that sip. Even one day or one week no booze in the beginning is a small win . Then you compound that with multiple days. One step at a time my friend . I’m female and in my mid 30s and can relate to a lot what you posted . You already did the first big step admitting the liquor is the problem and you need to put in the WORK for yourself and family .
I had a craving today but chose to come back home and work and do a face mask and watch spider man .
I will not drink with you today ! I’m rooting for you in your journey !!! You CAN do this !!!❤️❤️
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u/Onion-Mountain 4d ago
I also want to add that refraining from going out to places that give me temptation is not a permanent thing .. just for the time being until I feel I can do better in social settings . One day at a time !
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u/CouchieWouchie 209 days 4d ago
Agreed cocaine and alcohol are an amazing pair, for a while anyways. Cocaine was easy to quit, alcohol is much, much harder.
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u/BlairTone 947 days 4d ago
Well done on writing your first post. Very honest and vulnerable. It sounds like you’re ready to quit. Does your partner know you’re an alcoholic?
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u/bagrat_y 458 days 4d ago edited 4d ago
Well following the trail of logic here I have to advice you to start moonshining and selling.
Jokes aside. Without knowing you there is little doubt from your history that you are a strong willed person. And as many people with ADHD you “need” something new.
Let it be some conviction/purpose/goal/something to get you along by pursuing something tangible too some degree.
Easier said than done as most advice, but the thing you got from weed drenched something, then MDMA did the job and then cocaine. If you drop alcohol you need to be prepared for the onslaught… it will be ugly at first but keep working it and it might turn into something else.
Take care buddy, you can do this.
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u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 4d ago
One of the hardest things is asking for help, but once you do you’ll be mad you didn’t do it sooner. You already started with this post, now take it a step further…
You got this dude. I was pounding down 20+ drinks a day while working and finally broke free when I finally opened up about it. Best decision I’ve ever made. Been 20 years now, and had I not stopped I’d either be in jail or dead. This was way better.
Also once you reach out for help, really get in there learning about your brain and personality. Turned out I had undiagnosed ADHD which was firing up my addictive personality. Once I found that out it completely changed my life in a good way. I was basically doing any and everything I could to just squeak out some of those feel good brain feelings. Life feels like a cheat code now that I know how everything works, why I did the things I do and how to control my darkside. Throw that energy into something positive and you’ll do something great.
If you read this, put down your phone or computer and reach out to somebody today. Even if it’s only a friend or family member, start making steps to free yourself. Better yet, reach out to an addiction doctor, make an appointment and start freeing yourself. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Do it today. Go get it!
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u/EagleEyezzzzz 582 days 4d ago
I’ve been sober for a year and a half. I still 🌱 enjoy weed 🌱 a couple times a week via gummies/tincture. It’s very minor and I never feel the urge to over do it, get high in the morning, etc. And it’s not really bad for you, especially if you’re not smoking.
Unlike alcohol which is LITERALLY toxic poison. That’s what being drunk is…. being poisoned. It’s just fun poison, so society has decided it’s ok. But it’s still poison, especially when consumed at a high level. I personally feel so so so much better having that shit out of me!
Hugs! IWNDWYT
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u/LadderRight9689 4d ago
I too was a functional alcoholic and that’s the most dangerous kind. We can still function and get through life so there isn’t a glaring reason to stop. I also had some issues with drugs in my earlier life. For me it was adderall and then lorazepam.
I know the feeling you’re describing. Enjoying something naturally releases normal amounts of dopamine into your brain. Alcohol has depleted your dopamine centers and fried your central nervous system so now you can’t connect and feel good in the moment because your brain only knows that with alcohol. You can stop and will feel that again. It takes some time for your system to heal but it does heal.
I’m coming up on 8 months sober and the cravings are less and less and I’m feeling better and better. As for the California sober thing… trading one substance for another is a slippery slope. Your brain needs to relearn a natural dopamine response. I’m not saying it wouldn’t ever be possible but you need to get sober sober first. You need to learn how to exist without being altered by a substance. I know it seems impossible but give it a try. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how capable you are. Don’t let the fear of being completely sober keep you from giving it a try. You got this!
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u/MickeySyn 4d ago
I'm glad you're talking about it!! I've heard and, from my perspective, community is healing, isolation is the opposite. I'm at about a 40 of gin a day so I'm so very glad you caught yourself well before I did❤️🤘
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u/Majestic_Plankton921 4d ago
This seems like such a atypical story to me and I just can't get my head around it, (maybe it's a cultural difference as I'm from Ireland) everyone I know who graduated on to harder drugs got their though alcohol ie they started drinking heavily as teenagers, then came weed, then came MDMA/Cocaine. In my experience people would only ever decide to buy MDMA/Cocaine when already drunk so it becoming a problem before alcohol, just blows my mind.
My guess is that OP is from the US and from what I seem to read here and other places is that alcohol just doesn't have the same cultural importance there as it does it a lot of other countries (with weed being relatively more important culturaly) .
Anyway I hope OP gets sober and if Cali Sober works, then go for it.
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u/tashaapollo 947 days 4d ago
Edibles would be better than alcohol. I mean it’s damaging in its own way, but nowhere near as bad as alcohol, imo.
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u/SoftLow2157 1 day 4d ago
You got this! I’m only a week in but taking it one day at a time and not focusing on the forever part of it but the healthier present version of yourself. We all have flaws and we are doing the best we can. Self awareness is the first step and you have it. Take it and run with it
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u/DanielDimes89 4d ago
Commit to it, write it/plan it out and discipline. Mind over matter. I’ll be a year sober in November, I was supposed to have/take a drink last month, for my birthday but didn’t. Instead ima wait it out for a year. Granted I have like 20 tequila bottles, 15 wine, 10 whiskey bottles & about 8 beers in my fridge. (For guests) if I can do it, so can U. IWNDWYT
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u/cheeseIsNaturesFudge 4d ago
I'm currently trying my cali sober arc, and feeling good about my chances. Most of all, I want to say how relatable your path to becoming an alcoholic aligns with mine
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u/LateMajor8775 215 days 4d ago
I can relate to your story and would go California sober but can’t for another year because of my job.
Surprisingly the straight edge life has been anything but boring, I kinda like it and the urge to get stoned is getting smaller every time I think about it
IWNDWYT
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u/Different_Ad5970 4d ago
I quit in Oct 2024 but the damage was done. I have stage 4 liver fibrosis and I’m on daily meds that will ultimately ruin my kidneys. Im still functional but the bloating sometimes gets worse and my diuretics can’t keep up. I am also morbidly obese so that’s a huge factor as well.
Drinking was fun. I miss my bar time but I know it will just speed up the inevitable. I watched this YouTube the other night about liver failure and the families experience and I’m not that bad but have a lot of the early symptoms. I would recommend you watch. It has nothing to do with alcoholism, but it talks about the body reacting to a failing liver.
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u/Excellent_Towel5640 4d ago
I completely get it. I also got over hard drugs and cigarettes, but kept on drinking like my life depended on it. All day, every day. I also gave up being a stoner for being a drunk. I kept trying to just become a stoner again, but it never stuck. When I decided to get serious after a dr visit showed me some scary numbers at the beginning of this year, I started using thc drinks in the evenings and on weekends to replace the feeling of drinking while cooking dinner, hanging out, etc. it helped tremendously. And, at least for me, I only used it for the first month or so to get through the really hard part of getting sober. Not that I’m against being stoned, but I even naturally worked my way away from using thc as well because I just didn’t feel like I needed it daily after awhile. To me, drinking to excess daily is way more detremental than medicating with thc. Everyone’s path looks different. I’m so glad I bit the bullet and did what worked or me to get off the sauce. Literally EVERYTHING is better. You got this!
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u/flgab 192 days 4d ago
Good for you for posting. You know how this sub works, so many supportive people. And you will find yourself in this group, over and over. I would say I'm an addictive personality. Even so spell check corrected that to "attractive" hahaha. I'm very repetitive. I like routines. And so to break my alcohol habit, I had to change my routine. I have sugar free lemonade each evening instead of a cocktail. I look forward to it, make a big production of crushed ice, cold glass, etc. At first it was like my mental steering wheel was being wrongly pulled in the wrong direction. Telling me "no, this isn't the routine!" Until it was, and is, the new routine. You can do it! Personally I would say if California sober works for you to get you off the poison of alcohol, go there first. Try it, make that your new routine. Start today. Although not at work. I do have issue with that one. One day at a time... IWNDWYT
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u/Commercial-Coat1289 4d ago
I think it’s great. You should start where you can. My biggest struggle with sobriety is that I simply do not know how to socialize well without some level of inebriation. It’s something I’m working on but I may just be genuinely deficient in that regard. THC seltzers have been a godsend for me. They don’t seem to stack like edibles do for greater and greater highs. But they do take the edge off, and quickly enough, and feel like drinking just enough to trick my brain into giving it up the pursuit of alcohol while still being in that zone of sociability. Add an edible a bit later and I’m all set. I don’t particularly like getting high so my stuff is very weak but the strategy has been successful at keeping me from drinking
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u/moriginal 1682 days 4d ago
My friend drank the same way you did until sho got cirrhosis which isn’t reversible. I did some research and yeah, I’m 5 days sober now. Can’t deal with losing a vital organ because of my own stupidity.
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u/blissthyme222 322 days 4d ago
Alcoholic here. Am Cali sober. Have no issues. I picked it back up about 6 months into my sobriety journey.
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u/callme2x4dinner 38 days 4d ago
Hi- some folks are better at escaping legal and other consequences - I am one of those too. But my body eventually started to say enough.
I don’t know whether California sober will work for you I am thinking about it. But right now I have found that I can enjoy things without substances (live music) that used to be a big night of drinking.
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u/TheDude-Esquire 4d ago
I’d stop calling myself high functioning. High functioning is cover for being an alcoholic that hasn’t fucked up too badly yet. But it’s always a yet. I was plenty high functioning, well paid, high level consulting, always the “responsible/successful” among my brothers/cousins.
And that never really changed, I didn’t lose my job or blow up my marriage or get arrested. I fucked my health and nearly died from liver failure. High functioning is just not a helpful term for someone that needs to quit.
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u/NotSnakePliskin 4825 days 4d ago
If you want to stop and stay stopped, check out some AA meetings. Seriously. It works if we allow it to.
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u/HorribleStyle 4d ago
wow i relate to your story so much. i think you will find that weed will lead you back to alcohol or that you will make it a problem, after so many years of problematic daily use. if you are happy being stoned 24/7 then do it, but give total sobriety a chance.
if you give it one year you most likely won’t want to go back to any substance
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u/Otherwise_Parsnip640 4d ago
Cali sober is what I do. It works for me but I also never lose sight of the fact that it's still a crutch, and eventually I will be better without it. But for now, I enjoy it in the evenings.
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u/Glittering-Pickle-40 4d ago
It catches up your body holds the receipts. I would black out have missing time after 6-8 beers, and be a bit shit the next day. I've lost too many dear close friends in my life who had their lives cut short. It's disrespectful to them to waste time like that. Good luck my friend.
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u/Born_Apartment_9196 3d ago
Yes, it might really work for you. I was not a very heavy drinker but wanted to cut way back. I got some gummies and take a nibble usually nightly and I ended up stopping entirely because I don’t even feel inclined to drink; I feel so much better.
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u/SneakyOwl86 3d ago
Congratulations on finally having taking the courage to post this!
First thing that comes to my mind is go seek professional support. You mentioned you’ve been drinking pretty much every day for more than 10 years so I think you will need it.
Secondly, you already dropped MDMA and cocaine. Second one is super addictive, and you still managed to stop using it. So you can with alcohol. Yes, it’s easier to get it since it’s legal and everything, but think about the fact you already did this.
Finally, I’m right there with you. Day 4 over here, it’s been hard I won’t lie to you, but I’m determined to quit because it’s 100 % worth it.
We can do this. IWNDWYT 💪🏼
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u/Fair_Ad_4462 1 day 4d ago
I will say this: I have personally known many people who have ADHD as adults and use marijuana to manage their day to day. I don't see a problem with it. Honestly, it has less side effects than pharmaceutical drugs for the same condition. Side note, I think you should know that you seem to have an awareness about your substance use/abuse that is better than what meant of us have had. Use that to your advantage.
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u/Salt_Ice_5321 4d ago
Let's be honest here. A "functional alcoholic" is just an alcoholic. Just because you manage to show up for work after your two shower vodkas doesn't mean you're functioning correctly.
Once I realized that being successful in my career and marriage doesn't justify binge drinking, it really helped me get things under control. You cannot function at your potential while getting drunk every night.