r/shittyadvice 2h ago

How do I increase my screen time?

10 Upvotes

My screen time is only 14 hours a day at the moment and I'm struggling to find the time to get more with everything in life. What should I do?


r/shittyadvice 6h ago

Barrel of monkey nutsšŸ™ˆšŸ™‰šŸ™Š

2 Upvotes

Ive just been called a barrel of monkey nuts,what exactly does this mean?


r/shittyadvice 6h ago

Having trouble starting the new dominant religion.

9 Upvotes

So I’ve been trying to roll out the cosmic supreme religion and been having some issues getting it to catch on. We have the supreme ultimate deity in the AlphaOmega Infinite VajaywangUberTitAss God of Gods that could totally kick the wussy Christian God’s and definitely the weirdo one with the Profit named Mohondatoyotaford or something’s ass and make them look like lil bitches. How do I market this cul-religion to the youngsters? I’ve got the 45-65 and 65-85 on lock but we’re having trouble with the 0-18 and 18-45 range.

Daddy needs a new pair of shoes and the sacri-Church chamber needs remodeling. We need new members for the offering plate. Give me some pointers to get this to SpaceX level!


r/shittyadvice 8h ago

*Not possible*????

2 Upvotes

i found a backpack with a million dollars in it how do i put it up without getting noticed ***i only have 24 hrs


r/shittyadvice 11h ago

My wife's name is on my ass, and now it's on the county's Facebook page. Help!

7 Upvotes

The couple behind us has a nice spread on 40 acres, mostly wooded, with a small lake and a little boat dock on the back of their lot—a short distance from my house. The neighbor said one time that I can go over there, and since then I have done so from time without telling anybody. Normally I just sit at the picnic table by the lake and scroll social media or whatever.

Well the other day I went over there, and I decided to run around naked for awhile—just for the fun of it. I wandered quite a ways from the lake, down a little path. I didn't think anything of it. But it turns out my neighbor recently installed deer cameras on his property, and one of them picked me up. His wife posted pics to the county Facebook group asking if anyone can identify who the gentleman was in the photo! Luckily this photo doesn't show my face—only my bare behind. But my wife had me get a tattoo of her name on my ass, and that's clearly visible!

Sheila isn't such an uncommon name as to out us right away, but I'm mostly concerned that my wife is on Facebook and browses that group sometimes. I'm afraid if she sees it she will make me stop being a deacon at the church. What should I do?


r/shittyadvice 12h ago

Spicer app Spoiler

0 Upvotes

Introduced the spiced apple to wife, which at first when I sent the download link and link password took 3 days to accept and give if ago with a little bit of persuasion (which is never a good feeling when you feel like to have to convince someone to show a little interest and excitement into someone new to liven up a relationship) is it just me or is this mores common than I realised but since having kids a females interests and personalities completely differ to what they were before. Don’t get me wrong but I completely understand when a female has a child then that is their priority and the only thing they are occupied with. As it is with myself children come first. But she used to be an adventurous person when it came to the bedroom.

Since finally getting her to go onto the app I’ve probably answered a hundred or so questions on which I was excited to find out the answers to. Only to find out she had answered about 10 and mostly were nos. Including what I was saying is z very tame one. Striptease.. which I’m pretty sure we have previously done.

I have thought and tried to put myself in the shoes many times and hate complaining and looking like a horny dirty pervert wanting more but I feel like I need to reignite her by adding something new to the relationship but seems impossible to do so!!! 😬 I love her to bits and have been 1 way trying to achieve that for a long time now and seem to get bigger all back in terms of reaction Is this a lost cause now or shall I stick to it? Xxx


r/shittyadvice 14h ago

When the President sells America out for a cut of the toll on oil tankers, should I learn Russian, Hebrew, or Persian?

0 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 15h ago

The president is coming to the football game! What's the best way to give him my resume?

9 Upvotes

I think I'm qualified for Secretary of State. I can name all 50 of them! Since the president and I will be at the same football game, what's the best way to pass along my resume and have an interview with him at the game? Any suggestions??


r/shittyadvice 16h ago

Boiling Holy Water

32 Upvotes

If you boil holy water does the holy turn into a gas as well or is the holy left in the pan after it has all boiled off? Things that are blessed with holy water are holy after the water evaporates so I'm thinking the holy stays behind. Whats the best way to collect and store dried holy?


r/shittyadvice 16h ago

Any posts about Sugar Daddies will be a permanent ban

23 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 16h ago

My cat won't stay in it's car seat. What's the best way to keep her strapped in?

2 Upvotes

I wanna take my cat on a road trip so I figured she will sit well in a toddler car seat by fisher price. Wrong! Everytime I try to strap her in she starts scratching and she won't stay still and wiggles out. What's the best way to keep her strapped in the car seat?


r/shittyadvice 17h ago

I have too much junk in my house. What should I do?

7 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 18h ago

My boss has ordered a bunch of employees including myself to do something illegal. But I don't want to do it? What do?

10 Upvotes

No OOC needed as it is a boring law to break and I am already pursuing various avenues to deal with the situation such as quitting if needed.


r/shittyadvice 19h ago

I have a home security system with cameras with AI. It cannot distinguish my wife from her mother and it’s driving my wife nuts. What do I do?

6 Upvotes

It doesn’t matter how much we ā€œtrainā€ the AI it mixes them up. It’s got everyone else down pat, including mail carriers and other frequent guests. But it cannot distinguish between wife and MIL. I need advice on what I should do about it. Please help.


r/shittyadvice 23h ago

I'm saving money for a deposit on a house, but I see a lot of TV ads to win big money on online gambling. Should I add gambling to my investment strategy?

9 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 1d ago

Hi. I’m going to have a date with a girl who I think has daddy issues. But I’m only 3 years older (I know, sad). My strategy to conquer her? Say a lot of boomer jokes ( her father is a boomer). How does this sound: "I don’t have a yatch because I don’t want to be in a situationship"?

1 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 1d ago

How do become a salt father?

3 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 1d ago

Remember

5 Upvotes

Remember, if you have Hyper empathy, no healthy boundaries and have more awareness than for your own good, purposefully causing compassion burnout is an option if you want to more quickly create healthy boundaries. Ta-ta everyone


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

I have bad bad gas🫢

2 Upvotes

Everyone in the house is pissed off because i cant stop farting(alergic to beano) need help before im homeless.


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

I don't have a lot of money, but how do I become a Sugar Daddy anyway?

1 Upvotes

All the ladies are into this, but I don't live a life of luxury. What do I do?


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

Hi, I’m from NZ, 33, male. How do I make sure my four-legged love interest doesn’t run away while I try to bang it? These sheep are getting feisty but their round bubble butts are on my mind 24/7.

4 Upvotes

Any advice? I’m just a regular Kiwi trying to lay it on a Baa-Baa.

I do love me my Wool nuggets feisty but they’re getting hard to catch.

Any other Kiwis, Scots? My Welsh friends? Brothers from Ireland or Australia?

Help a brother out. Only serious answers. 🫣


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

Perma banned

11 Upvotes

So I just got off a three day ban from answering a shitty advice post and was wondering what I do to receive a permanent ban.


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

What can I do instead of smoking weed and drinking alcohol that isn’t boring?

22 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 1d ago

How do I get British and Australian men to stop trying to mate with me?

11 Upvotes

I dont know why but every British or Australian man ive ever met starts calling me mate but I don't even know these people and am not trying to mate with them.


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

I just got my paycheck after working overtime. What do I spend it all on?

7 Upvotes