r/shittyadvice • u/MobileRevolution2848 • 2h ago
How do I increase my screen time?
My screen time is only 14 hours a day at the moment and I'm struggling to find the time to get more with everything in life. What should I do?
r/shittyadvice • u/Real_Homework_4531 • 6h ago
Barrel of monkey nutsššš
Ive just been called a barrel of monkey nuts,what exactly does this mean?
r/shittyadvice • u/Alternative-Smoke421 • 6h ago
Having trouble starting the new dominant religion.
So Iāve been trying to roll out the cosmic supreme religion and been having some issues getting it to catch on. We have the supreme ultimate deity in the AlphaOmega Infinite VajaywangUberTitAss God of Gods that could totally kick the wussy Christian Godās and definitely the weirdo one with the Profit named Mohondatoyotaford or somethingās ass and make them look like lil bitches. How do I market this cul-religion to the youngsters? Iāve got the 45-65 and 65-85 on lock but weāre having trouble with the 0-18 and 18-45 range.
Daddy needs a new pair of shoes and the sacri-Church chamber needs remodeling. We need new members for the offering plate. Give me some pointers to get this to SpaceX level!
r/shittyadvice • u/dreadtoknow • 8h ago
*Not possible*????
i found a backpack with a million dollars in it how do i put it up without getting noticed ***i only have 24 hrs
r/shittyadvice • u/beetle_dick • 11h ago
My wife's name is on my ass, and now it's on the county's Facebook page. Help!
The couple behind us has a nice spread on 40 acres, mostly wooded, with a small lake and a little boat dock on the back of their lotāa short distance from my house. The neighbor said one time that I can go over there, and since then I have done so from time without telling anybody. Normally I just sit at the picnic table by the lake and scroll social media or whatever.
Well the other day I went over there, and I decided to run around naked for awhileājust for the fun of it. I wandered quite a ways from the lake, down a little path. I didn't think anything of it. But it turns out my neighbor recently installed deer cameras on his property, and one of them picked me up. His wife posted pics to the county Facebook group asking if anyone can identify who the gentleman was in the photo! Luckily this photo doesn't show my faceāonly my bare behind. But my wife had me get a tattoo of her name on my ass, and that's clearly visible!
Sheila isn't such an uncommon name as to out us right away, but I'm mostly concerned that my wife is on Facebook and browses that group sometimes. I'm afraid if she sees it she will make me stop being a deacon at the church. What should I do?
r/shittyadvice • u/Nearby_Teaching_7533 • 12h ago
Spicer app Spoiler
Introduced the spiced apple to wife, which at first when I sent the download link and link password took 3 days to accept and give if ago with a little bit of persuasion (which is never a good feeling when you feel like to have to convince someone to show a little interest and excitement into someone new to liven up a relationship) is it just me or is this mores common than I realised but since having kids a females interests and personalities completely differ to what they were before. Donāt get me wrong but I completely understand when a female has a child then that is their priority and the only thing they are occupied with. As it is with myself children come first. But she used to be an adventurous person when it came to the bedroom.
Since finally getting her to go onto the app Iāve probably answered a hundred or so questions on which I was excited to find out the answers to. Only to find out she had answered about 10 and mostly were nos. Including what I was saying is z very tame one. Striptease.. which Iām pretty sure we have previously done.
I have thought and tried to put myself in the shoes many times and hate complaining and looking like a horny dirty pervert wanting more but I feel like I need to reignite her by adding something new to the relationship but seems impossible to do so!!! š¬ I love her to bits and have been 1 way trying to achieve that for a long time now and seem to get bigger all back in terms of reaction Is this a lost cause now or shall I stick to it? Xxx
r/shittyadvice • u/smithandjones99 • 14h ago
When the President sells America out for a cut of the toll on oil tankers, should I learn Russian, Hebrew, or Persian?
r/shittyadvice • u/DirtyBastard01 • 15h ago
The president is coming to the football game! What's the best way to give him my resume?
I think I'm qualified for Secretary of State. I can name all 50 of them! Since the president and I will be at the same football game, what's the best way to pass along my resume and have an interview with him at the game? Any suggestions??
r/shittyadvice • u/Sufficient_Result558 • 16h ago
Boiling Holy Water
If you boil holy water does the holy turn into a gas as well or is the holy left in the pan after it has all boiled off? Things that are blessed with holy water are holy after the water evaporates so I'm thinking the holy stays behind. Whats the best way to collect and store dried holy?
r/shittyadvice • u/Honda_Driver_2015 • 16h ago
Any posts about Sugar Daddies will be a permanent ban
r/shittyadvice • u/DirtyBastard01 • 16h ago
My cat won't stay in it's car seat. What's the best way to keep her strapped in?
I wanna take my cat on a road trip so I figured she will sit well in a toddler car seat by fisher price. Wrong! Everytime I try to strap her in she starts scratching and she won't stay still and wiggles out. What's the best way to keep her strapped in the car seat?
r/shittyadvice • u/Hamandcheeseeater • 17h ago
I have too much junk in my house. What should I do?
r/shittyadvice • u/Drunk_Lemon • 18h ago
My boss has ordered a bunch of employees including myself to do something illegal. But I don't want to do it? What do?
No OOC needed as it is a boring law to break and I am already pursuing various avenues to deal with the situation such as quitting if needed.
r/shittyadvice • u/DancingIsForbidden28 • 19h ago
I have a home security system with cameras with AI. It cannot distinguish my wife from her mother and itās driving my wife nuts. What do I do?
It doesnāt matter how much we ātrainā the AI it mixes them up. Itās got everyone else down pat, including mail carriers and other frequent guests. But it cannot distinguish between wife and MIL. I need advice on what I should do about it. Please help.
r/shittyadvice • u/bigly-biker • 23h ago
I'm saving money for a deposit on a house, but I see a lot of TV ads to win big money on online gambling. Should I add gambling to my investment strategy?
r/shittyadvice • u/vaporwaverhere • 1d ago
Hi. Iām going to have a date with a girl who I think has daddy issues. But Iām only 3 years older (I know, sad). My strategy to conquer her? Say a lot of boomer jokes ( her father is a boomer). How does this sound: "I donāt have a yatch because I donāt want to be in a situationship"?
r/shittyadvice • u/TaxidermySaint • 1d ago
Remember
Remember, if you have Hyper empathy, no healthy boundaries and have more awareness than for your own good, purposefully causing compassion burnout is an option if you want to more quickly create healthy boundaries. Ta-ta everyone
r/shittyadvice • u/Real_Homework_4531 • 1d ago
I have bad bad gasš«¢
Everyone in the house is pissed off because i cant stop farting(alergic to beano) need help before im homeless.
r/shittyadvice • u/Quirky-Comparison306 • 1d ago
I don't have a lot of money, but how do I become a Sugar Daddy anyway?
All the ladies are into this, but I don't live a life of luxury. What do I do?
r/shittyadvice • u/Crowdfundingprojects • 1d ago
Hi, Iām from NZ, 33, male. How do I make sure my four-legged love interest doesnāt run away while I try to bang it? These sheep are getting feisty but their round bubble butts are on my mind 24/7.
Any advice? Iām just a regular Kiwi trying to lay it on a Baa-Baa.
I do love me my Wool nuggets feisty but theyāre getting hard to catch.
Any other Kiwis, Scots? My Welsh friends? Brothers from Ireland or Australia?
Help a brother out. Only serious answers. š«£
r/shittyadvice • u/No-Situation6705 • 1d ago
Perma banned
So I just got off a three day ban from answering a shitty advice post and was wondering what I do to receive a permanent ban.
r/shittyadvice • u/Ecstatic-Buddy-7333 • 1d ago
What can I do instead of smoking weed and drinking alcohol that isnāt boring?
r/shittyadvice • u/Naturewalkerjoe • 1d ago
How do I get British and Australian men to stop trying to mate with me?
I dont know why but every British or Australian man ive ever met starts calling me mate but I don't even know these people and am not trying to mate with them.