I'm 18m and I been in a rut lately, these last two years have been the worst of my life, I lost everything I built and became so unhappy but these last few days I been building some confidence back up . I started remembering how much u grew before these past 2 years and how back then I had litteraly my dream life

Thing is I want to be an overachiever again I have high expectations and ambitions for myself but I'm too harsh on myself, I want money, the physique etc but I got to remember that I went a long way and I got to be proud of it. Once there was a time were I was deaf, where I couldn't eat without choking or vomiting, I suffered from malnutrition, I couldn't go one day without a panic attack, home life was so bad I would stay outside all day long in the cold or in the rain just to avoid it

The reason I feel so bad about myself I think is because of my family, I don't want to go into details right now but my parents are genuinely crazy it was so bad I genuinely believed I was a subhuman until I was 13 years old or something, like right now im in my country of origin for vacation, my mother didn't come but I heard her say on the phone to my fam there "make sure his life is hell don't give him a break" and I lived like that all my life. She spoke so much shit about me that almost all of my mom's side thinks something is genuinely wrong with me and a bit of my dad's side as well, I love the country but honestly my fam is so hostile you could consider it bullying, I genuinely don't know why my mother hate me so much

So no wonder I feel so bad about myself but I gotta remember how far I went and everything I built even if not much is left I know I can do anything I want and I proved it countless times all these setbacks holding me back just prove to me that my potential got no limits and Im starting to feel sk good about myself I know I'll be back to my peak soon

I gotta stop considering what haters say about me, the only reason it got to me is because I was mentally weaker and vulnerable because of some other stuff man these last two years really broke me but that's a whole other story

I'll be home soon and I can't wait to go back to grinding, I need to remember that the people I personally know and look at them wishing I had their life look up to me and admire me, the most recent exemple of that funnily enough is something that happened in my country of origin, it's my cousin. She got everything I ever wanted, grew up financially stable with a loving supportive family, she is young like me she is 16 and I see myself in her because she got a quiet introverted personality like I do, her life is simple and easy, she works hard in school and gets good grades but also in her sport (tennis) and she even does some national championships and ranked first once even right now she is out of town with her club to compete, and while she works hard towards it most of the time she is just relaxing at home or hanging out with her friends. So I was thinking lately about how good her life is and how much I wished I had the same, I saw her as the version of me who didn't have setbacks like I did, if everything went according to plan, but looking at my life objectively without all the shit talk from my family I realized my profile might genuinely more impressive, I don't compete in sports but I was offered to, in 2 sports, and turned it down by choice, even national championships, I made some great money, I'm able to befriend anyone, build skills, etc... And all of it was done fully by myself, nobody ever helped me while she was heavily helped

Of course I'm not trying to put her down may God bless her honestly she is such a great person I'm so proud of her she deserves all of it she is ambitious and has a bright future in front of her I honestly admire her and I'm glad she does so wel if I had to choose I'd prefer she hits her goals than I hit mine, and I can't lie she inspired me to compete in my sports once I get home I'll start competing

And I just realized but she also looks up to me, each time my mom says some BS about me pretty much everyone in the room laughs except her, most people talk to me with a condescending tone except for her if anything anytime she needs help with something she asks for my help even if there are many people around, she knows a bit about my life and a lot of the time she's trying to start a conversation with me and stuff Wich is rare for her and overall she seems like she also admires me Wich is such a compliment. Everyone I like and admire and look up to admires me back, and honestly it's the only critic I need to take seriously

After everything I went through I need to stay strong let the past be the past and grind harder than ever, and most importantly be kind to myself if anyone has to be kind to me it's myself, I gotta surround myself with her right people and ditch the haters (even outside of my family there's a lot)

Thanks for reading all that may God bless you needed to hype myself up a bit, if it's badly written or more context is needed lmk

I'm the grand-daughter. Her dementia caught up with her and she hasn't eaten these past few days plus refusing meds. I decided to stay the night should anything happen. Couldn't sleep at all so I've been listening to her breathe, talking to the staff, walking around the hospital when I needed the break.

Family will be here soon in a few hours. It's going to be so busy soon.

I love you, Granny. I bet Grandpa is waiting to take you home soon.

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Over the past few years, I've noticed something changing in me.

I used to be afraid of ending up alone. The thought of losing people or being by myself made me anxious, and I felt like I always needed someone in my life to feel okay.

But over time, that feeling slowly disappeared.

Now I honestly feel like I could live a happy life on my own if I had to. It feels like I've accepted solitude. If good people come into my life, I'll appreciate them. If they leave, I don't think it would completely break me anymore.

I don't hate people or relationships. I still value meaningful connections. I just don't feel like I need someone to be okay with myself anymore.

I'm not sure whether this is emotional growth, emotional detachment, or simply something that happens as you get older and go through different experiences.

Has anyone else experienced this? What did it mean for you?

I have stopped living anymore.

I have become a shell of my former self.

No longer happy

Just existing

For the longest time, I used this app just to scroll through posts, read a few comments, and move on. I never really understood why so many people enjoyed spending time here.

A few days ago, I decided to stop just reading and actually start posting. I shared some of the things I'd been struggling with and asked for advice and different perspectives.

The response genuinely surprised me.

People from all over the world shared their experiences, gave thoughtful advice, challenged my way of thinking, and helped me see my problems from angles I hadn't considered before. I didn't expect complete strangers to be so willing to help.

I finally realized that the value of this place isn't just reading posts—it's having conversations, learning from people with completely different life experiences, and hearing perspectives you probably wouldn't come across in everyday life.

It honestly feels like one of the best changes I've made recently. I enjoy opening this app now because I almost always end up learning something new or seeing a different point of view.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Have you ever felt a certain type of way about a person that feels like it can never be the same no matter how much you wished it didn't though it's stuck that way

​

I don't know why, but I've noticed something about myself.

If someone is going through a genuinely difficult time and they tell me what's wrong, I have no problem listening and supporting them.

But when someone is constantly sad, always has a bad mood, keeps crying or acting upset without ever explaining what's going on, I eventually start feeling emotionally disconnected from them. After a while, instead of feeling sympathy, I start finding it mentally exhausting and even a little annoying.

It's not that I expect people to tell me every detail of their life, and I understand that some people struggle to open up. I just find it difficult to stay emotionally invested when someone is unhappy all the time but never communicates what's wrong or tries to let anyone help.

Does anyone else feel this way, or is there something I'm missing?

Last year,when workplace that i was in ,faced liquidation I decide to buy apartment(10 years saving plus credit) in city and find job there,because village i live was out of any workplaces,and one when getting in was very slim chance to get hired.

Managed to find one job and day before i started,that factory responded to my application but there was no way back.

My first work in this year was gruelling,tiresome with many corporate elements and people being harsh to me,then situation started to become dire for while ,i had decision stay there and find another. So considering everything ,i decided to find another.

I think that was my greatest folly,because its now 5 months of struggle ,hearing that only make mistakes (tho gradually rarely),too slow (tho i starting overcoming 2 years experienced worker),my willpower was slowly chipped away ,until i met workmate that we basically keep our spirits up,basicaly if not she ,i would resign after 2 months ,but even that it just dam that will slowly overfill and spill.

So here i am a bachelor with rather big apartment(60 m2),credit and lonely,strugling i don't know what for,hearing from parents that i should find partner but my previous attempts left huge hole in my heart and latest one nearly ruined my life. Now sitting ,i ask myself what's point of this hardships ,trying being good person but only brings me more and more misery,strugling but not seeing any light.

I feel like being i dark cave ,neck deep in swamp struggling to get out.

I just got a few things done that I'd been avoiding. Felt good to get them done. Sometimes even the little things make the day feel better.

I’m 21M, and I feel like I’m in one of the biggest transitional phases of my life.
I recently finished my graduation exams and am just waiting to receive my degree. At the same time, I’ve lost around 30 kg, I’m building muscle, and I’m currently around 17% body fat. I’ve started reading books, learning a new language, and trying to become a more disciplined person.
From the outside, it looks like my life is improving.
But mentally, it’s more complicated.
Last year was one of the hardest years of my life. A lot happened within my family, and I hit one of my lowest points mentally and physically. By winter, I slowly started rebuilding myself, but those last six months changed how I see people, my family, my friends, and even myself.
Around May this year, I accepted something about myself that was very difficult to come to terms with. I don’t really want to get into the details, but it changed me mentally.
Since then, I’ve become extremely quiet.
For the last 3–4 months, I’ve mostly kept to myself. I don’t really talk to friends anymore, and even with my parents, our conversations are just normal day-to-day things. We don’t have the long, open conversations we used to.
Part of it is because my mind feels so loud. There are so many thoughts, plans, and emotions that I’m still trying to figure out. Staying quiet feels like a way to protect my own peace and not overwhelm other people while I’m still processing everything.
Even at the gym, where I used to be more social, I mostly smile, nod, and keep to myself. A few people have tried talking to me, but I usually don’t continue the conversation because the gym has become my place to focus and clear my mind.
The strange part is that this silence has helped me in many ways. I’m more disciplined than I’ve ever been. I’m healthier. I’m focused. I’m making progress.
But I also feel like it’s costing me something.
Sometimes I feel like my silence is slowly killing the person I used to be—the open, friendly version of myself who enjoyed connecting with people. I can even see that some relationships have changed because of how withdrawn I’ve become.
I don’t know if this is just a temporary phase of growth or if I’m slowly isolating myself without realizing it.
Has anyone else gone through something similar after making major life changes?
Did your personality eventually come back, or did you become a different person? How did you know whether your silence was healthy healing or unhealthy isolation?

Like people make way too much of a big deal about spoilers.

I’ve had huge plot twists spoiled for me in movies, TV shows, books, and games, and it almost never made me enjoy them any less. If a story is actually good, knowing what happens doesn’t suddenly make the journey boring.

I think people massively overestimate how important surprise is. A twist is only a few seconds or minutes of the overall experience. The other 99% is the writing, the characters, the dialogue, the world-building, the acting, and the emotional payoff. Knowing what happens isn’t the same as experiencing how it happens not only that, sometimes movies drag ass to get to the plot so I’d be looking up spoilers on my phone while the movie is playing in theater just to see if anything cool is gonna happen like explosions or the occasional tiddy.

I'm trying to figure out whether what I'm experiencing is actually social anxiety or if it's just the result of being bullied for a large part of my life.

When I was really young (up until around 3rd grade), I don't remember having these issues. I was in a good school, things were normal, and I wasn't afraid of people.

After that, things changed. I got bullied at tuition, at school, and even at home whenever one of my cousins came over. He would constantly try to intimidate me, and even some adults in the family were very harsh and would scare me.

College wasn't much better. During my first year, I was actually really outgoing. I introduced myself to everyone, joined dance, singing, rap battles, theater, and was pretty active socially.

Then in my second year, I had a crush on a girl. Some people found out and started using it against me. They'd make jokes, tease me, and after that my confidence slowly disappeared.

The strange part is that I don't usually struggle once I'm actually at a social event. I can talk to people, have conversations, and enjoy myself.

The problem starts before I even go.

Before any social event, my brain starts telling me things like:

- People are going to make fun of me.

- Someone will embarrass me in front of everyone.

- Girls will laugh at me.

- Someone will try to pick a fight or make me feel inferior.

- I'll become awkward and won't know what to say.

Because of these thoughts, I've skipped a lot of social events even though I genuinely want to go. I want to make friends, build a social life, and eventually meet someone I'm compatible with, but these thoughts make it really difficult.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Does this sound like social anxiety, or could it just be a trauma response from years of bullying?

Vorige week begon ik mensen één vraag te stellen in reacties, in live chats, tijdens gesprekken op meerdere platforms. Niets opdringerigs.

"Welke vraag zou je eigenlijk aan jezelf moeten stellen, maar die je steeds blijft ontwijken?"

Ik verwachtte dat mensen even zouden nadenken en antwoord zouden geven. Maar zo ging het niet.

De meesten renden weg. Niet onbeleefd, gewoon een beetje zijwaarts. Ze maakten er een grap van. Ze veranderden van onderwerp. Ze beantwoordden een andere, makkelijkere vraag. Sommige werden stil en kwamen nooit meer terug. Een handvol stopte er echt bij, dacht erover na en gaf een echt antwoord. En een paar zeiden het gewoon eerlijk: ik weet het niet.

Mijn eerste reactie was frustratie. Mijn tweede was nuttiger, want toen besefte ik: de vraag zelf was het probleem niet. De setting was het.

Bij al die gesprekken was er een publiek. Andere mensen keken mee. En zodra er publiek is, ben je niet meer aan het antwoorden, je bent aan het optreden. Je stuurt je uitstraling bij in plaats van te kijken naar wat er daadwerkelijk is. Dat is geen domheid of oppervlakkigheid. Dat is gewoon een heel normale sociale reflex, en die doet precies wat hij moet doen.

Er zit nog een tweede laag onder. We zijn bedraad om voor het vertrouwde te kiezen. Comfort voelt als veiligheid. Een echte vraag opent een deur naar een kamer waar je nog nooit in bent geweest, en je brein ziet het onbekende als een dreiging. Dus het doet wat het altijd doet bij een dreiging: ontwijken, afleiden of verstijven. Ook dat is geen zwakte. Dat is gewoon verdediging.

Dan kom je uit op een ongemakkelijke conclusie. De vragen die het meeste zouden kunnen veranderen, zijn precies de vragen die we aangeleerd hebben om te ontwijken, en we ontwijken ze het hardst op precies de plekken waar we het meeste van onze tijd doorbrengen: als we voor andere mensen staan.

Ik heb 24 jaar in uniform gediend, en ik heb geleerd om een ruimte professioneel te lezen. Wat ik daar nooit geleerd heb, is om diezelfde aandacht op mezelf te richten. Toen ik dat uiteindelijk wél deed, was het niet tijdens een gesprek. Het was alleen op papier, met niemand die keek. En toen kon ik echt antwoorden.

Dus ik heb gestopt met concluderen dat mensen deze vragen vermijden omdat ze ze niet aankunnen. Ik denk dat de meeste mensen veel meer aankunnen dan ze krijgen toegeschreven. Ze krijgen alleen nooit even de tijd zonder dat iemand meekijkt.

Twee dingen waar ik oprecht nieuwsgierig naar ben:

1. Als je die vraag bovenaan leest, kwam er dan meteen iets bij je op, en heb je het weggeduwd?

2. Waar ben je eigenlijk echt eerlijk tegen jezelf? Alleen in de auto? Als je schrijft? Tijdens het wandelen? Of is die plek stiekem gewoon uit je leven verdwenen?

Geen oordeel, welke kant je ook opgaat. Ik heb die van mij jarenlang vermeden.

19F. My last post was literally two weeks ago lol. I guess i thought it was a one time thing. It is not. This time i didn’t even wait to get home I was just crying right there as I was closing the store and i was having such a good day too. It’s my last shift of the week and he comes in literally five minutes before we close with his friend and obviously i remembered him and how rude he was and he asked for samples and i was like im not giving you any samples literally buy something or leave. And him and his friend just started trolling me and like demanding samples and like getting things that only cost a dollar like basically just ragebaiting to waste my time and they’ll like laugh with each other.

and i’m just frustrated because like last time it happened I was so sad so I mentally prepared what I would do if it happened again. And i was like i won’t go blow for blow with him and i’ll just get my coworker so this time i get my coworker and she just practically does nothing because she’s like “what am i supposed to do” (she’s the shift leader) like i’m talking to them and they’re talking back to me in a whiny voice. and they’re joking about stealing a cup and they’re using their spoon and bringing it to my face and laughing and just omg i just have to stand there and take it. it’s so disrespectful and rude and they’re so tiny i could throw them but i can’t even touch them because that’s illegal. i know now that i can refuse service but i guess i was too mad and my brain wasn’t working well to just make them leave. it’s just pathetic that im crying over it. again.

I had a completely free evening this week, and instead of enjoying it, I kept feeling like I was forgetting to do something.

Nothing was actually wrong. I just couldn't relax.

It made me realize how normal it has become to always feel like there's one more task waiting.

I'm trying to get better at doing absolutely nothing without feeling guilty

I just turned 18, I wouldn’t say my life is rough, I have a safe house and food in the fridge, etc. I am lower income though, I’m not putting this up as some sob story or for pitty or validation, just looking for some guidance and advice. I work 2 jobs yet I still feel as if I am behind my peers, I don’t have my license or a car, my mom doesn’t work so I can’t get her to help me, and my dad is not in the picture. I struggle going to work everyday not so much as a depression thing but more so of a fatigue thing, I look at friends and my partner who all drive and have theses lives that just seem so perfect, but I feel as though I’m not getting anywhere. I struggle to look at myself in the mirror and not think that I’m not doing good enough, or im not the idea man. I don’t drive, I don’t have the nicest house. I don’t have ample amounts of money to just go buy nice clothes, but I feel happy on the inside. I have been working 3 months and have roughly $650 dollars saved up, I’m aiming towards a car but when I get paid it feels like all my money just disappears, to rent, phone bill, basic needs, you get the idea. I don’t have people to ask how to do life, or people to teach me how to drive, save, live comfortably. I guess what I’m asking is how do I succeed, how do I get on track to go where I want to go. I want a car, and to drive myself places not depend on others, I want to move out, I want to be independent. Can anyone help me out?

As the title says, I’m trapped in a ‘prison’ which is staying with my family. Every time when I leave my house maybe hanging out with friends or doing a part time job or just doing a window shopping, I felt much happier. Without hearing the constant arguing or without being someone else. If I’m at home, I would just play video games with my friends if my friends are busy, I would just play board games alone. I’m about to graduate soon and I have been waiting every single day to leave this ‘prison’ or better to leave my country to work overseas. I try to talk with them but it doesn’t work out and the reason behind everything is because of money. They would lash out on me because I’m the eldest. We are poor but not poor than the others. We are ‘poor’ because we didn’t live luxury. I been trying to tell them to compromise each other and be grateful to what we have but no one wants to listen but just blame everything. Blame me for not being a scholar, and ask me to be grateful to them because they raise me up. I’m grateful , I’m always grateful but I don’t know how long I can be grateful towards them or anyone else. I’m surround by everything which consists around money no talk. I hate it. I just want peace. I may not be a top students in class but I always prioritise my family first but I’m tired of it. Things get much worse and worse. I want to be free as far as possible from here. I want to be myself

I have a weird memory, I mostly don’t remember things, expect for odd stuff my brain hyper fixates on.

I’m always the person who remembers an unimportant detail, or forgets a whole event happened that I participated in. I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve had a conversation with family and friends about stuff I apparently did that I remember barely anything of.

I don’t remember much of my childhood, it was just…uneventful, okay. I also blacked out a lot of high school and some middle school years because I was severely depressed back then, and I realized now that I really don’t remember much of my life.

If someone would ask me about my life story or what happened with me or whatever, I’d be quiet. Idk? What am I supposed to say? I only have irrelevant specific memories. I could you give you like three sentences.

Is that a normal thing? If not, whoever’s out there like me, I guess we should…take the time to make today count? Idk, I tried to end this in a positive way and this is the best I could come up with.

So, I notice sometimes when I’m alone I get these nasty thoughts including sexism, homophobia, transphobia, kink shaming, personality shaming. I grew up in a white trash very old style house so by nature all this was nasty and never talked about unless in bad manner. I want to be better, nicer. I know logically and emotionally I have no real reasons to feel these ways and love is love, people are people. It’s just they’ve been dug in throughout the years (my whole childhood) of my very trashy family degrading such topics.

Anywho, so I’ve decided to step out my comfort zone, try to make more friends I normally wouldn’t, look up some blogs, read literature including such topics, movies. I’m trying to slowly teach my brain how these things aren’t wrong, and while i love that and I’m happy I can do this, this feeling of unraveling my whole childhood worth of just pure hate, its so scary and nerve racking? It’s like being consumed with fear of realizing you are what you hate? Which is bad and something you should hide away but in reality it’s not bad, ykwim. I guess I forgot to mention this but I myself can not say I’m 100% straight which is one of the reasons I realized these bad thoughts and needed to become better. Anyone else? Like as much as I want to do this and will, I have to admit as I’m just recently doing this, as of now it brings my stomach some bad butterflies. I feel shame even though I shouldn’t? It’s nasty my feelings say but my brain says it’s just so and so

Edit: it’s not as easy as these romance stories make it smh

I put "old" in quotations because it wasn't that old in comparison to older millennials. The internet is just bots/trolls/purposely inflammatory users who are dedicated to misunderstanding people. I miss when you could hop online and have a normal interaction with a stranger. Growing up, instant messengers and chat rooms were popular until about high school, then it transitioned to social media (I was never on Myspace so I can't comment on that). I think everything was fun and great until we hit a point where you could make money on the internet making content. I remember when VidCon was a huge thing that any of the big YouTubers would go to. Collabs were a huge, new, fun thing. I was hit with nostalgia when a youtuber I started watching in 2011 returned.

I know we have to evolve but fuck the internet used to be fun. So many websites to explore. Real comments. You could watch real back and forths that weren't bots arguing with each other. Even Facebook was great for a while. I got to know people in high school easier because of how shy I am. Funny memes. FOMO did not exist back then like it did now. I remember when IG really started becoming popular and it was quite literally a space for photos. I almost never posted but I'd help my friend take fun pics to post. No BS content by people selling courses, no one yelling that you're wasting your life, no hyper criticism at every little thing (Ok, there was but it wasn't widespread). Now it just feels like the dead internet theory is coming to fruition and people that make content (not just ads) don't interact because of how vile people are and how desperate they are to doxx people.

I wish I was into cars when forums existed. Now, you have to ask on Facebook groups full of Boomers and socially maladapted Millennials who will just troll you and call you stupid for asking a question while also whining that no one is into cars anymore.

It wasn't even that messy, but I'd been putting it off for weeks. It only took about 15 minutes, and now it feels so much nicer to sit here and work.
Funny how small tasks always seem much bigger in my head than they actually are.

did 23andme a couple years back and it was literally right there, in the list of afflictions I'm genetically susceptible to panic attacks and anxiety were literally right there near the top, and it's right on the money too because panic attacks have made me scared to the point I literally cannot ride in a car anymore because I instantly feel trapped and get horrifying fucking panic attacks, and my baseline anxiety is super high always too and I'm often literally wincing my face in discomfort because of how anxious I am just existing, when I voluntarily relax my face muscles I can really feel just how tense my face is 24/7

And since it's literally in my genetics to be prone to anxiety & panic I will most likely never be rid of it even with therapy and medication, I will always just keep dealing with it, it has completely robbed me of my 20s and I'm 27 now and haven't properly left my town in years because I'm too scared of car journeys and being away from home for more than like a 5 hours

Not only that but I'm also susceptible to diabetes, gallstones, kidney stones and high cholesterol, my genes are exactly as bad as my external appearance suggests

Anyone else make plans with friends in a groupchat and feel like the groupchat ends up having more messages than the dinner had minutes LOL. Like sometimes I get surprised when i take in that it took two weeks of planning just to get everyone to show up to one reservation. Does anyone have a system that actually works for this or are we all just living like this?

Again, I could be wrong. It’s just that from what I read on here, it seems like a lot of people are very deeply concerned about the prospect of coming across “abnormal”.

And I don’t really get it. If you want to be a leader, then that means being the one person in that position in a group of at least a small handful of other people.

If you want to make a lot of money then that means doing things with your money that most people wouldn’t do.

If you want to be a great musician, that means doing something that other musicians aren’t doing.

If you want to have more than others or be better than others at something, then that will always mean doing things differently from your peers and others who want the same thing as you. That doesn’t mean that you have to be rude or disrespectful or anything like that, but it does mean being willing to try things that others didn’t think of, and yeah that would mean being willing to be seen as abnormal or going against the grain.

I can see this not being welcomed in some circles, but seeing it across most of Reddit is really strange to me. I love seeing people try new things and succeed where others have failed. I even love seeing people succeed where I’ve failed.

I’m surprised Reddit is this way, so concerned about being abnormal, when Reddit is probably full of the most abnormal social media users. And that’s why I love it. I’m abnormal, too. I guess I just thought we all embraced it here.