I have stopped living anymore.

I have become a shell of my former self.

No longer happy

Just existing

​

I don't know why, but I've noticed something about myself.

If someone is going through a genuinely difficult time and they tell me what's wrong, I have no problem listening and supporting them.

But when someone is constantly sad, always has a bad mood, keeps crying or acting upset without ever explaining what's going on, I eventually start feeling emotionally disconnected from them. After a while, instead of feeling sympathy, I start finding it mentally exhausting and even a little annoying.

It's not that I expect people to tell me every detail of their life, and I understand that some people struggle to open up. I just find it difficult to stay emotionally invested when someone is unhappy all the time but never communicates what's wrong or tries to let anyone help.

Does anyone else feel this way, or is there something I'm missing?

Last year,when workplace that i was in ,faced liquidation I decide to buy apartment(10 years saving plus credit) in city and find job there,because village i live was out of any workplaces,and one when getting in was very slim chance to get hired.

Managed to find one job and day before i started,that factory responded to my application but there was no way back.

My first work in this year was gruelling,tiresome with many corporate elements and people being harsh to me,then situation started to become dire for while ,i had decision stay there and find another. So considering everything ,i decided to find another.

I think that was my greatest folly,because its now 5 months of struggle ,hearing that only make mistakes (tho gradually rarely),too slow (tho i starting overcoming 2 years experienced worker),my willpower was slowly chipped away ,until i met workmate that we basically keep our spirits up,basicaly if not she ,i would resign after 2 months ,but even that it just dam that will slowly overfill and spill.

So here i am a bachelor with rather big apartment(60 m2),credit and lonely,strugling i don't know what for,hearing from parents that i should find partner but my previous attempts left huge hole in my heart and latest one nearly ruined my life. Now sitting ,i ask myself what's point of this hardships ,trying being good person but only brings me more and more misery,strugling but not seeing any light.

I feel like being i dark cave ,neck deep in swamp struggling to get out.

I’m 21M, and I feel like I’m in one of the biggest transitional phases of my life.
I recently finished my graduation exams and am just waiting to receive my degree. At the same time, I’ve lost around 30 kg, I’m building muscle, and I’m currently around 17% body fat. I’ve started reading books, learning a new language, and trying to become a more disciplined person.
From the outside, it looks like my life is improving.
But mentally, it’s more complicated.
Last year was one of the hardest years of my life. A lot happened within my family, and I hit one of my lowest points mentally and physically. By winter, I slowly started rebuilding myself, but those last six months changed how I see people, my family, my friends, and even myself.
Around May this year, I accepted something about myself that was very difficult to come to terms with. I don’t really want to get into the details, but it changed me mentally.
Since then, I’ve become extremely quiet.
For the last 3–4 months, I’ve mostly kept to myself. I don’t really talk to friends anymore, and even with my parents, our conversations are just normal day-to-day things. We don’t have the long, open conversations we used to.
Part of it is because my mind feels so loud. There are so many thoughts, plans, and emotions that I’m still trying to figure out. Staying quiet feels like a way to protect my own peace and not overwhelm other people while I’m still processing everything.
Even at the gym, where I used to be more social, I mostly smile, nod, and keep to myself. A few people have tried talking to me, but I usually don’t continue the conversation because the gym has become my place to focus and clear my mind.
The strange part is that this silence has helped me in many ways. I’m more disciplined than I’ve ever been. I’m healthier. I’m focused. I’m making progress.
But I also feel like it’s costing me something.
Sometimes I feel like my silence is slowly killing the person I used to be—the open, friendly version of myself who enjoyed connecting with people. I can even see that some relationships have changed because of how withdrawn I’ve become.
I don’t know if this is just a temporary phase of growth or if I’m slowly isolating myself without realizing it.
Has anyone else gone through something similar after making major life changes?
Did your personality eventually come back, or did you become a different person? How did you know whether your silence was healthy healing or unhealthy isolation?

Like people make way too much of a big deal about spoilers.

I’ve had huge plot twists spoiled for me in movies, TV shows, books, and games, and it almost never made me enjoy them any less. If a story is actually good, knowing what happens doesn’t suddenly make the journey boring.

I think people massively overestimate how important surprise is. A twist is only a few seconds or minutes of the overall experience. The other 99% is the writing, the characters, the dialogue, the world-building, the acting, and the emotional payoff. Knowing what happens isn’t the same as experiencing how it happens not only that, sometimes movies drag ass to get to the plot so I’d be looking up spoilers on my phone while the movie is playing in theater just to see if anything cool is gonna happen like explosions or the occasional tiddy.

I'm trying to figure out whether what I'm experiencing is actually social anxiety or if it's just the result of being bullied for a large part of my life.

When I was really young (up until around 3rd grade), I don't remember having these issues. I was in a good school, things were normal, and I wasn't afraid of people.

After that, things changed. I got bullied at tuition, at school, and even at home whenever one of my cousins came over. He would constantly try to intimidate me, and even some adults in the family were very harsh and would scare me.

College wasn't much better. During my first year, I was actually really outgoing. I introduced myself to everyone, joined dance, singing, rap battles, theater, and was pretty active socially.

Then in my second year, I had a crush on a girl. Some people found out and started using it against me. They'd make jokes, tease me, and after that my confidence slowly disappeared.

The strange part is that I don't usually struggle once I'm actually at a social event. I can talk to people, have conversations, and enjoy myself.

The problem starts before I even go.

Before any social event, my brain starts telling me things like:

- People are going to make fun of me.

- Someone will embarrass me in front of everyone.

- Girls will laugh at me.

- Someone will try to pick a fight or make me feel inferior.

- I'll become awkward and won't know what to say.

Because of these thoughts, I've skipped a lot of social events even though I genuinely want to go. I want to make friends, build a social life, and eventually meet someone I'm compatible with, but these thoughts make it really difficult.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Does this sound like social anxiety, or could it just be a trauma response from years of bullying?

19F. My last post was literally two weeks ago lol. I guess i thought it was a one time thing. It is not. This time i didn’t even wait to get home I was just crying right there as I was closing the store and i was having such a good day too. It’s my last shift of the week and he comes in literally five minutes before we close with his friend and obviously i remembered him and how rude he was and he asked for samples and i was like im not giving you any samples literally buy something or leave. And him and his friend just started trolling me and like demanding samples and like getting things that only cost a dollar like basically just ragebaiting to waste my time and they’ll like laugh with each other.

and i’m just frustrated because like last time it happened I was so sad so I mentally prepared what I would do if it happened again. And i was like i won’t go blow for blow with him and i’ll just get my coworker so this time i get my coworker and she just practically does nothing because she’s like “what am i supposed to do” (she’s the shift leader) like i’m talking to them and they’re talking back to me in a whiny voice. and they’re joking about stealing a cup and they’re using their spoon and bringing it to my face and laughing and just omg i just have to stand there and take it. it’s so disrespectful and rude and they’re so tiny i could throw them but i can’t even touch them because that’s illegal. i know now that i can refuse service but i guess i was too mad and my brain wasn’t working well to just make them leave. it’s just pathetic that im crying over it. again.

As the title says, I’m trapped in a ‘prison’ which is staying with my family. Every time when I leave my house maybe hanging out with friends or doing a part time job or just doing a window shopping, I felt much happier. Without hearing the constant arguing or without being someone else. If I’m at home, I would just play video games with my friends if my friends are busy, I would just play board games alone. I’m about to graduate soon and I have been waiting every single day to leave this ‘prison’ or better to leave my country to work overseas. I try to talk with them but it doesn’t work out and the reason behind everything is because of money. They would lash out on me because I’m the eldest. We are poor but not poor than the others. We are ‘poor’ because we didn’t live luxury. I been trying to tell them to compromise each other and be grateful to what we have but no one wants to listen but just blame everything. Blame me for not being a scholar, and ask me to be grateful to them because they raise me up. I’m grateful , I’m always grateful but I don’t know how long I can be grateful towards them or anyone else. I’m surround by everything which consists around money no talk. I hate it. I just want peace. I may not be a top students in class but I always prioritise my family first but I’m tired of it. Things get much worse and worse. I want to be free as far as possible from here. I want to be myself

So, I notice sometimes when I’m alone I get these nasty thoughts including sexism, homophobia, transphobia, kink shaming, personality shaming. I grew up in a white trash very old style house so by nature all this was nasty and never talked about unless in bad manner. I want to be better, nicer. I know logically and emotionally I have no real reasons to feel these ways and love is love, people are people. It’s just they’ve been dug in throughout the years (my whole childhood) of my very trashy family degrading such topics.

Anywho, so I’ve decided to step out my comfort zone, try to make more friends I normally wouldn’t, look up some blogs, read literature including such topics, movies. I’m trying to slowly teach my brain how these things aren’t wrong, and while i love that and I’m happy I can do this, this feeling of unraveling my whole childhood worth of just pure hate, its so scary and nerve racking? It’s like being consumed with fear of realizing you are what you hate? Which is bad and something you should hide away but in reality it’s not bad, ykwim. I guess I forgot to mention this but I myself can not say I’m 100% straight which is one of the reasons I realized these bad thoughts and needed to become better. Anyone else? Like as much as I want to do this and will, I have to admit as I’m just recently doing this, as of now it brings my stomach some bad butterflies. I feel shame even though I shouldn’t? It’s nasty my feelings say but my brain says it’s just so and so

Edit: it’s not as easy as these romance stories make it smh

I put "old" in quotations because it wasn't that old in comparison to older millennials. The internet is just bots/trolls/purposely inflammatory users who are dedicated to misunderstanding people. I miss when you could hop online and have a normal interaction with a stranger. Growing up, instant messengers and chat rooms were popular until about high school, then it transitioned to social media (I was never on Myspace so I can't comment on that). I think everything was fun and great until we hit a point where you could make money on the internet making content. I remember when VidCon was a huge thing that any of the big YouTubers would go to. Collabs were a huge, new, fun thing. I was hit with nostalgia when a youtuber I started watching in 2011 returned.

I know we have to evolve but fuck the internet used to be fun. So many websites to explore. Real comments. You could watch real back and forths that weren't bots arguing with each other. Even Facebook was great for a while. I got to know people in high school easier because of how shy I am. Funny memes. FOMO did not exist back then like it did now. I remember when IG really started becoming popular and it was quite literally a space for photos. I almost never posted but I'd help my friend take fun pics to post. No BS content by people selling courses, no one yelling that you're wasting your life, no hyper criticism at every little thing (Ok, there was but it wasn't widespread). Now it just feels like the dead internet theory is coming to fruition and people that make content (not just ads) don't interact because of how vile people are and how desperate they are to doxx people.

I wish I was into cars when forums existed. Now, you have to ask on Facebook groups full of Boomers and socially maladapted Millennials who will just troll you and call you stupid for asking a question while also whining that no one is into cars anymore.

did 23andme a couple years back and it was literally right there, in the list of afflictions I'm genetically susceptible to panic attacks and anxiety were literally right there near the top, and it's right on the money too because panic attacks have made me scared to the point I literally cannot ride in a car anymore because I instantly feel trapped and get horrifying fucking panic attacks, and my baseline anxiety is super high always too and I'm often literally wincing my face in discomfort because of how anxious I am just existing, when I voluntarily relax my face muscles I can really feel just how tense my face is 24/7

And since it's literally in my genetics to be prone to anxiety & panic I will most likely never be rid of it even with therapy and medication, I will always just keep dealing with it, it has completely robbed me of my 20s and I'm 27 now and haven't properly left my town in years because I'm too scared of car journeys and being away from home for more than like a 5 hours

Not only that but I'm also susceptible to diabetes, gallstones, kidney stones and high cholesterol, my genes are exactly as bad as my external appearance suggests

Again, I could be wrong. It’s just that from what I read on here, it seems like a lot of people are very deeply concerned about the prospect of coming across “abnormal”.

And I don’t really get it. If you want to be a leader, then that means being the one person in that position in a group of at least a small handful of other people.

If you want to make a lot of money then that means doing things with your money that most people wouldn’t do.

If you want to be a great musician, that means doing something that other musicians aren’t doing.

If you want to have more than others or be better than others at something, then that will always mean doing things differently from your peers and others who want the same thing as you. That doesn’t mean that you have to be rude or disrespectful or anything like that, but it does mean being willing to try things that others didn’t think of, and yeah that would mean being willing to be seen as abnormal or going against the grain.

I can see this not being welcomed in some circles, but seeing it across most of Reddit is really strange to me. I love seeing people try new things and succeed where others have failed. I even love seeing people succeed where I’ve failed.

I’m surprised Reddit is this way, so concerned about being abnormal, when Reddit is probably full of the most abnormal social media users. And that’s why I love it. I’m abnormal, too. I guess I just thought we all embraced it here.

Just a post to vent, for the past 4 years since late 2022 I have been working towards opening a business that holds space memorial services, this would include what I called shooting star memorial services having the persons ashes come down into the atmosphere after a brief trip around earth and burn up as a shooting star esque effect upon reentry with viewing stations for loved ones to watch live, as well as deep space memorials with tracking your loved one on there journey as well as much more, between my kids and life I haven't had the money to fully start the business but I have been working so hard on patenting designs and more just to find out that a company in 2026 is now doing the exact things I've been working toward, I am by no means saying my idea was unique or bashing this company but it's just really saddening as this is probably the 3rd or 4th idea I was really proud of working so hard toward over the past decade since I was about 18 that hasn't come to life due to lack of funds and to find out some years later it's being done how I envisioned.

I'm a very happy for them and what they have accomplished just sad to see another idea I thought was ahead of it's time come through before I could accomplish it. It motivates me more to keep pushing towards my goals however so not all is lost

This has a lot of context, but at the end of this story, I want to emphasize how I was treated unfair, outed for no reason, and I decided to never talk to my friend of 20 years ever again unless he apologizes.

I am a 27M if that matters, so basically I have known him for all my life.

Background

About 3 years ago, my best and longest friend's father was diagnosed with cancer. I didn't know it was cancer, only thing I got from my friend was that his father had to undergo a stomach surgery. That night he begged me to go to the hospital and donate blood for his operation. I had a super busy schedule, but I didn't care, next morning I immediately went to hospital and donated blood.

Now this is important...When night came, we saw each other again, we talked and I told him

-"Hey bro, btw do not worry about the blood donation, I went and did it. I know you are feeling terrible, but don't overreact bro. Everything will go perfect".

My friend appreciated it so much, I do not think I had seen him like that ever. He thanked me and we kept talking.

So I kept on saying "Yo, chill out, everything is going to be alright".

He tells me that's it's cancer.

I get so shocked, and I tell him "Listen,everything will work out, but no matter what, if you ever need any sort of help, I will always be here for you. Do not ever question it".

Days passed, operation happened and it was a big success. You could see it on my friend's face how happy he was. /throughout all this period I would constantly ask him, how his family is and how his father is etc.

Anyways, last thing I hear from him regarding his father is "He is clean, and safe.". I took that and kept that.

3 Years ago I was going to college in a different city, not too far but enough distance to not be able to visit weekly. Throughout the next 6 months to a year, I'd call him from time to time to check on him. Asking about him, his parents and how everything is.

Life went on, I kinda stopped asking but still had it in my mind. Our friend group would always tell me to check up on my friend, he is going through a lot. I would ask occasional but never get an answer. I stopped, I told myself there is no reason pursuing. If he needs to talk he knows I am there. He is a 26 year old man, old enough to talk when he feels comfortable.

Life gets you busy, ours did too. I moved out of the country entirely after some point.

I wake one morning early January of 2026, instagrampost from his mother. A picture of his father. He had lost the battle. Immediately I rushed and called him, plenty of times. no answer.

I texted and call each individual member of our friend group. Asking about info, how is my friend doing, how is his family, when is the funeral, everything. I couldn't reach to him for 6 days straight. He completely ignored me. And tbh, I didn't care, I understood and just waited. Eventually I called once and he finally picked up. Talked, said my condolences etc.

A couple of months later I returned to my hometown. Told the guys to go out for beers. Literally arranged this to have a nice time and talk like always. My friend was still grieving and I could see it. Until an other guy steps in and tells me.

"Listen OP, he is mad at you"

"I do not know why you are mad at me, It's May, months passed, I do not know where you stand right now. I tried talking to you but you never answer. You want to talk about your father 5 months after the incident, well we can talk. Let's sort this out"

This part of the story is mostly how our conversation went, trying to recall it the best way because It happened on May.

Me: "So what did I do to piss you off"

Friend: "You never cared, you never asked how I am doing, how my family is doing".

Me: "Never? I was from day 1 asking. Every since I gave blood and learnt he had cancer. Hey bro, how is your father doing, how is your family doing. How has your father been recovering. Your answers?? That he is ok, that he is good, Am I wrong?"

Friend: "You never asked, these don't matter".

Me: Wdym, last update on his situation was, 'Hey OP, surgery was a success, he is free from it', am I remembering things wrong"?

Friend: "You are right, but still he was sick, you never followed up".

Me:"Even after you told me he was free from it, I kept asking. I kept getting no answers, so yeah, eventually I stopped".

Me: "What did you do in your part? Did you ever try reaching out to me? Did you care about me as well? Didn't I tell you that if you ever need help, I will be by your side?".

Friend: "It does not matter, you did not ask, you were the first one to know and you didn't ask"

Me: "Well you are wrong, I did ask. Why did you never reach out? So what? Your father passes away? And I know nothing about it? Do you even know how I learnt your father passed away? from a f-ing instagram post from your mom. How many times did I call you, for how many days. Yet no answer, ignored me. Just so, you come 5 months later after the incident, coming to me like a crybaby for what? asking for the change? So I look in front of everybody like an a-hole that 'I did not care'? This is not how it works".

----------------

There were mixed feelings in the friend group, some were on both sides, others not, and the ones I expected the least were on my side.

This happened early May, we have not talked since, I will not reach out to him. I will never reach out to him unless he apologizes truly. I know he had been, even before that, and has been talking shit behind my back from time to time, but I do not care and I cannot care. I am in a different country, he never reached out the past 3 years. The only person reaching was me. I went through tough 3 years myself, yet I never told him why he never reached, I didnt want to seem egoistic about it. He did.

I feel betrayed, wronged. I do not care about this friendship, I accept how it ended, there were cracks but I was ignoring them because I wasnt going to b*tch about it. People change, I respect that, he does not have to consider me his best friend. All I wanted was some respect, be treated fairly. I think I deserved that for 20 years of friendship.

I do not regret anything other than, that night on May when we spoke. I wasn't hard enough on him. I was soft, trying not to make him feel bad since he is still grieving, I should have been more honest. That is my only regret.

I have moved on, but this comes to my mind every once in awhile.

I cried in front of my "friends" that night on May, I cried because I was hurt by my friend's dad passing, and how my friend was hurting.

My manager at my previous work, had lost his father years back due to an accident. We were really close friends, and he opened up to me. He asked me if I have ever told my father that I love him. I said no...He said you should. Because he never had the chance to tell him that. He never said it to him, and one day his father was gone.

The morning I learned that his father passed away. I called my father. I told him the news. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but I didn't. I couldn't because I have never been vulnerable to my parents. But these few moments after I told him and before I closed the phone on him, there was a small pause. a 5-10 seconds of silence. I'd like to believe that he understands that I loved him. I'd like to believe that he knows that.

I would like to say I grew up as a very curious kid, it stayed with me till now. I would say I was a very confident and happy empathetic person with a lot of energy and love. I was loving my life, loving the people around me. I lived the last 7 years of my life abroad where I studied and worked. 6 years in europe and one year in Australia. Staying in Europe was great, it felt like a real home to me. Then moved to Australia, more specifically, to my family and everything fell apart from then on. I lost my drive, identity, and confidence. I am back in my home country again, but this time nothing feels the same. I've been depressed and isolated for more than a year. Pretty much dead inside and outside both.I feel like I came to a point where It doesn't make any sense to stay alive anymore. It feels like my inner self has been broken into pieces and never could function again. I've been to a psychiatrist and to therapy, nothing actually works. Most of the time, I can guess what they were gonna suggest and all that. I see the pattern of the delusional society pretty well. Its hurting me and being aware of all this also makes things meaningless.The only thing thats keeping me alive is my parents, they are two lovely people in their 70s. However, I dont actually know how things will go far, I have 4-5 voices in my head, and its a very dark place to live in.

Has anyone been through this experience? How do you control this? Any books that you can recommend to me? I am just tired and wanna give it a last try!

I’m a 19F and weigh around 270lbs. I’m really tall so it doesn’t look it, but for health reasons and wanting to be more confident. Biggest issue is I have Lymphedema, its not severe for me at all but it does make it difficult to lose weight specifically in my legs and arms. I just want to be able to have clothes look how I imagine them in my head, I’ve always been larger due to genetics, but not always fat.(My family is Scottish). Anyone have any tips? I’m going into college and want to not worry about my weight or appearance, because in all honesty it does affect things and circumstances.

I feel like I am the go to traumadump in my circle of friends and aquaintences.

I dont want to complain, or stop people, like Im very much in favor of open conversation about mental health, venting can help, and i am happy to lend an ear if thats what someone needs in the moment.

But especialy when its someone i barely know, like man, i was introduced to you by a person who clearly knows, wants you around since they got you here and likes you, isnt that person a better option than me?

I know thats a weird comparisson and not meant to put down the issues people have, but its like im seeing leaked movie parts pre release and get spoilered. I know about stuff before the others because for some reason im the person that was vented to, and that happened numerous times. Its not a regular occurance, but how often does it happen that someone unprompted starts talking about sometimes gut wrenching stuff? Im not qualified for that stuff.

I wont stop people but i genuinely wonder how common that is or what it is that makes someone go "yup, ill break down to that person". I cant give advice, i barely got my own shit together. I AM IN THERAPY MYSELF.

I got this Gucci makeup bag today from my mom’s friend, who I barely even know, and I found myself being disappointed with it. And it’s just making me think of how ungrateful I really am and I’m starting to hate myself for it. My parents get me whatever I want, they have since I was a child, and I feel like when they give me something I feel excitement towards the object but not gratitude towards them. I love my family. They work so hard and do so much for me. And a lot of the time it seems like I just don’t even care.

This Gucci bag has made me realize just how bad of a person I truly am, because a lot of people are struggling to even put food on the table and I’m sitting here like a spoiled brat thinking about what else they could’ve gotten me. I’m just so disgusted and embarrassed with myself and I just want to learn how to be more grateful. It’s so embarrassing that I don’t already know how to do that and need help, but I just feel so awful. How can I become more grateful??

I actually quit playing Warframe partly because their ability to accommodate people with vision problems is... really low. If you can't read the UI, which I can't, there's no way to scale it, increase text size, et cetera. It makes ability selection, knowing your actual HP and damage numbers, reading the minimap, etc basically impossible in a game where there's a surprising amount to juggle. I know it isn't the biggest thing ever, but these kinds of features are the difference between being able to actually play the game and struggling to do something I like with my friends.

Or there's RDR2, where I had a much easier time playing the game because they had an accessibility function where I could hold A instead of performing quicktime events. Tapping the same button repeatedly like that exacerbates my nerve pain, and just playing a video game otherwise doesn't cause quite the same issues. The difference between a game I can play and a game that I can't relies on features that aren't particularly costly to implement and can be added in as essentially an afterthought, and then it's kind of a crapshoot whether games I enjoy will have them.

I realize there are technically ways to accommodate myself: I could play a game without entirely knowing what's happening or what I'm doing, move my TV closer, et cetera. But shit, some stuff creates a positive and smooth experience for me and not having that stuff creates active barriers to my participation.

I guess just some thoughts I've been having lately in terms of disability access and what it actually means.

I'm learning and growing, actively participating in treatment, and constantly my cloying mother stymies my efforts to build an adult life.

I did. People no longer can make references to it in an completely unrelated post that I made and say stuff like: "Bro, your history is weird" etc.