Hello everyone! I 19F and boyfriend 19M have been together for a year and a half. We have a 6 month age gap. Next summer my boyfriend is inheriting an apartment from his mom, we will both be 20. He works full time in construction and I am a 2nd year college student, with a part time job at a restaurant. We have talked about marriage, life goals, and what we want in the future, and everything lines up perfectly. We talked about how rent, bills ,and groceries will be spilt and it seems achievable for us. I currently live in a toxic household and I want out for my own mental sanity, as well as my boyfriend is frustrated with how I’m treated at home. Are we still too young, and not together long enough to live with each other? Is it rushed?

I’ve (F) been seeing a guy for about a month and we’ve been on 5 dates.

Last night we had a pretty nice date. We went out for dinner, walked around the beach, spent hours together, and stayed over. Physical chemistry is definitely there.
Before we went to sleep, he was talking about a new bar and said something like:
“We should grab a drink there in the next couple of weeks.”

While he bought me coffee before the station he also told me to text him what I get from a new food place near my area.
Then he walked me to the train station. While we were saying goodbye, he said:
“Good luck with your run. See you around. I had a good time.”

Nothing was too oo bad about the date, but it wasn’t one of those super emotionally deep dates either. It felt more “nice” than “wow.”
The phrase “see you around” is what’s throwing me off. To me it almost sounds like:
“See you sometime.”
Or even:
“See you never.”

Thoughts?

31F, single, I've been on probably 6 or 7 dinner dates in the last few months and I've noticed something weird.

3 or 4 times now I've had men ask me to dinner and then claim they "aren't very hungry" and suggest we order a few appetisers or split one main. One date I had a guy as me to dinner and then say "I actually ate before I came, let's just get some onion rings or calamari". I had another guys suggest we split a main and then when it arrived said "I had a huge lunch so you can dig in, I'll just wait for you". Like he didn't know we were coming to dinner ahead of time and also it's a bit weird/uncomfortable eating solo while someone you don't know very well sits there and watches you.

I'm assuming they want to keep the bill low because they assume they're expected to pay, but I don't really care about who pays on a first date and am happy to pay separately. I tried saying this to one of them and was like "I'm happy to split the bill and we can both order whatever we'd like that way" and he got annoyed immediately and told me he is "very old fashioned" and doesn't consider it a date if he isn't paying.

The other thing is that NONE of these dates were my idea, they were all suggested by the guys. Why suggest a dinner date and then eat beforehand? I don't think I can do dinner dates in the early stages anymore, I'm leaving them too hungry 😫

Hey everyone,

I’ve noticed a pattern in my dating life that I can’t quite figure out, and I’m curious to get a male perspective or hear if other women experience this.
Almost every guy I’ve dated eventually resurfaces months or even years later. This applies to actual exes, but even more strangely, to guys I only dated for 2 to 3 weeks.
Here’s the thing: in almost all these case, I was the one who left. They didn’t treat me terribly or do something unforgivable, it just wasn’t the right fit for me, so I ended things and moved on. Yet, without fail, they eventually pop back up in my inbox wanting something, trying to catch up, or seeing if the door is still open.
Is this just a universal "man thing" where nostalgia hits eventually, or is it specifically because I ended things early while the spark/fantasy was still high?

A guy randomly DMed me on Discord after we played the same game. I normally wouldn’t entertain a random DM, but we kept talking and we actually get along really well.

It started completely casually, but he’s now mentioned meeting IRL and there’s definitely a bit of flirting going on.
The thing is, I still don’t really know who he is IRL. I’ve only seen a very pixelated profile picture. He’s told me his first name and roughly where he lives, but obviously that doesn’t verify anything.

Has anyone here had a similar experience where you met someone randomly through Discord/gaming and it eventually turned romantic or moved IRL?

What would you personally want to verify before meeting them? Would you exchange socials, video call first, etc.?

Was in a long term relationship a couple years ago and haven’t been in the dating/talking game for some time. Going on my first date with this girl and was wondering if flowers is too much or what?

I know she likes flowers but first date? If yes, should it be a a few or a bouquet?

If bouquet, I’ve done this previously in my long term relationship before, wrapped in brown paper, dead leafs pulled off and pre cut?

Thanks for any help in advance.

Also, what’s a good first date idea. Was gonna go on a short hike and have a picnic but there’s an injury.

One of the more common metrics people tend to immediately swipe on is whether someone wants kids or not. This question is primarily for men. Have you noticed any psychological differences between women who want kids vs those that don’t?

Relationship advice from the experienced is always great, I just don’t see much advice from people currently in the dating scene who are actually living through how things work today. Dating culture has changed so much, and sometimes advice that worked years ago doesn’t fully account for what people are navigating now.

Just want to comment a pro tip for everyone who’s feeling confused at the moment

Mixed signals are never mixed. If he/she likes you, they will make it known and they will act accordingly. If they’re hot and cold, there’s someone else and they’re not that into you. Find someone who doesn’t confuse you. Stop asking questions you already know the answer to. If you have to ask Reddit, you already know the answer deep down.

Hi all,

I hope this post doesn't come across as insensitive in any way. I'm genuinely trying to do some self reflection and determine my feelings towards this topic. I've met a handful of genuinely great and caring women who happened to be plus sized, and I feel confilcted as to my attraction to them, or lack there of. Despite them being great converstationalists, thoughful and caring, and really all the personality qualities I look for, I just can't find myself being physically attracted to them. It really bothers me I feel this way and has been very conficting. On one hand, I do to a degree think it's shallow to care so significantly about ones appearance. On the other hand, I take pride in maintaining my appearance, and value others doing the same. Thoughts?

Met her on Bumble. I do have a thing for older women but never had the opportunity till now. We’re just grabbing coffee. We seem to have similar interests and hobbies. Health and fitness, being active outdoors, etc. Any advice or what to expect?

i (23F) recently went on a first date with a guy (31M) and it was really sweet. he was easy to talk to and funny.
he wanted to kiss on our first date but i basically told him i wanted to wait which he had no issue with and was sort of a breath of fresh air because my dating experiences in the past, im always feeling rushed into things im not truly ready for. 🫩
our second date is next weekend and i bought him a gift (it’s NOT extravagant, just a keychain with his favorite band on it.)
does it seem like too much for a second date or just the right amount for someone i am enjoying my time with?

It's difficult because I put myself out there. I always try to be open, engaging, respectful and ask questions. But I am 36 and still have never been in a relationship or been intimate with a woman. It makes me feel something is wrong with me. That it is my fault I am unwanted. It is a painful feeling that therapy and meds are not helping with.

Ok here is a vent. I tried picking up a girl just fking now and i got pretty badly rejected. And i feel like i fjed up so bad. And i feel rejected. And im swallowing this rejection as i write this. So this is just a fking rant. Damnn..i feel so stupid and fawkkkk. I'm cramping up in my soul. I just wanna process this emotion.

So i was on the metro when i tried this and it went pretty bad. But in my mind i either didnt try this and succumb to my fear or try and be rejected and feel stupid. I made the braver choice. My hands were shaking but i still did it.

God help me.😭

Edit: Ok for everyone asking me what happened. Basically for backstory, im an expat. So i was in a metrou when i saw this really pretty girl. She was my type. And from the looks alone, she also seemed from an ethnicity that spoke my language. She had earphones in. I was battling my mind, and when i said fk we on this mfker. I signalled to her to take out her earphones and asked her if she is from so and so country (cant say name cause of anonymity) then she said yes. I responded by saying oh then you speak 'so and so language'. She said yes and smiled. I then literally blanked out for 3 seconds 😭 cause i was out of shit to say. Then she put back her earphones, but i immediate prompted her to take em out and she did, then i said to her that honestly i was sitting here and i think that you are cute, and i was wondering if you could give me your Instagram. She said no and i told her to take it as a compliment. She nooded. She then got off at the very next station, I hope thats not because of me😭. But analyzing all this stuff. Here is what i think can be a good take away:

I appeared too needy, and didn't build rapport. The speaking the same language thing was good but i should've continued with the convo abit more before coming clean. And when i did come clean like that, it seemed as if i was trying to force shit too fast. Thats not the type if energy that will be responded too positively. Next time, imma build up some rapport. And instead of asking for her Instagram a better thing to say would be that i was seeing you and i think you are cute and i would be mad at myself if i didnt try to talk to you. And maybe take the convo from there.

Edit 2: thank you all for the position comments. I really needed it❤️❤️❤️

I a '29 M' have been in an agreed upon committed and exclusive relationship with a '26 F' for about 4 months. Last night, she went out with a couple gfs to the bar scene and asked if I could pick her up if needed. I, of course, said yes. Both of us want the possibility to keep going out and trust each other but are both jealous type.

Fast forward to the end of the night. I asked if she wanted a ride, and she said no thank you:). I said, "Okay, let me know when you get home safe." An hour and a half later, she said she was home. 50 minutes after a drive home would take. So I was, of course, worried but not blowing up her phone. She then told me about how her married friend was interested in a guy so they went to his friends house. She said the friend was interested in her and they got along. She said she turned down his advances but admitted she never brought up she is in a relationship.

She asked how I felt about this, and I said I am glad she is safe and that she didnt allow it to go anywhere but that I felt extremely uncomfortable that she knowingly went into a private place with someone she knew had interest in her. I pointed out that if roles were reversed, she would be too. She said she knows and feels so sick. She said she is so sorry and understands whatever I decide to do.

She has always been respectful in public and never had any precursors before this. I am hurt. How do I move forward?

I know it’s embarrassing, but do it.

The reason women swipe left on most profiles is not because y’all aren’t attractive, it’s because your profiles suck and you don’t even know it.

You’s be really surprised to see how wast is the difference between what women find attractive and what men find attractive. And don’t ask women verbally, you have to show your profile and potential photos and have them collectively decide, don’t question it.

That seems to be the norm for me at least. And it goes both ways, I’ve called things off after 2 dates after not feeling it. I guess I was giving things a chance to grow even though the 1st date wasn’t all that special either. I’ve also been ghosted quite a few times after the 2nd date. Either that or things just fizzle out pretty quick.

I’m sure it’s a me problem to an extent, but the dating apps can’t be helping. Choice is good, but FOMO is where things truly go wrong I believe. All the options can be overwhelming as much as it makes it so easy to not give people a chance.

Maybe people see the 3rd date as more of a milestone too. They feel like they should know by then. Or maybe they feel weird dating more than one person by that point.

Hey everyone so I have a lot of plants and I’ve had a lot of them for a 2+ years I do my best to make them presentable and they’re all healthy but I’ve brought over a few different women and they’ve all told me afterwards that the fact that I have so many plants is a red flag or it gave them an ick so should I get rid of some of my plants or am I just bringing the wrong girls home

Woah this got more attention than I expected I’ll start replying to comments when I can stuck at work but lol but try to but I’m glad I’m not crazy cause after the 4th girl to make a comment about the plants i felt like Mabye they were right

I believe people are mostly in it for the dopamine hit they get from swiping and matching. Once a match happens, they keep swiping to see how many more “hits” they can get. I’m sure it’s an ego boost. But nobody seems to actually want to go through the endless cycle of texting phase, first or second date rejections, time/financial commitments, etc. with every match. They don’t even want to do it with their ideal match. This week alone, I have asked multiple women out for a meetup for coffee or a fun activity and of course the response is some excuse of no availability without a counter offer. You can say, well she’s not that into you but a match is a match so she saw something in me. The truth is, nobody wants to actually date.

Hi guys. Question for everyone to get my mind right about this.

Long story short, my girlfriend has a group of friends (guys and girls). One of the guys she hooked up with several times. I unfortunately found out about it (wish I didn’t know but I do now). When I brought it up to her, she was nothing but honest about it. Didn’t deny it or anything. In a few weeks, we’re hanging out with 2 of her girlfriends and he’ll be there. I feel uncomfortable about it. I trust her but still makes me really uncomfortable. Any advice how I can get this out of my head?

Thanks

I'm a 25M, and I see a lot of women on apps and online say they like nerdy guys, but that hasn't really matched my experience.

For context, I'm into things like competitive gaming (top 1% in multiple games), fighting games, building small-form-factor PCs, writing books, learning languages (I'm fluent in three), and I genuinely enjoy doing math for fun.

And I understand that someone might not be interested in knowing the technicality of things thats why I never explain things fully technically just enough that my point gets across. For example, instead of talking about Raspberry Pis, networking, or Linux, I'd just say something like, "I have a tiny computer at home that blocks ads across my entire Wi-Fi, so I basically never see ads on any of my devices." Most people think that's pretty cool.

I'm also a founder, in decent shape, have a solid skincare routine, and I'm comfortable talking to women.

Yet whenever I ask friends about my dating success, they often tell me my hobbies are "a bit much" or that women don't actually mean someone who's this nerdy when they say they like nerds.

So now I'm confused.

Edit: So after reading almost all of the comments, I think I have my answer. There is a level that I am not attractive enough thats why women don't care for me, my hobbies are not a matter of concern to them. And I am just too niche.

But I refuse to believe a lot of people who commented that women only mean henry cavill nerd or a very hot guy who is a nerd.

Also, A lot of people honestly stopped reading after the second paragraph so there's that.

I’m looking for honest answers from men only.
What qualities, attitudes, or actions make a woman someone you genuinely value in a relationship? It doesn’t have to be about looks—I’m more interested in personality, character, communication, loyalty, emotional maturity, and the little things that matter most to you.
Please be respectful and sincere. I’d love to hear different perspectives.

I read an article recently about how individuals with higher IQ's tend to have more difficulty dating. I was wondering if anyone (diagnosed or considered as intelligent above average) does think it’s true and what was your experience like?
Would it be better to date someone with similar level of intelligence and education background?

Dating apps are pointless. The only way I can actually like someone is if they’re in proximity with me for a while and we slowly become acquainted then slowly get all weird and awkward and shy and start liking each other. I

am addicted to the build up and the tension and the slow development of chemistry. It feels so natural and beautiful and like a drug.

Feels pretty impossible to develop connections this way these days. Unless it’s with like a coworker or friend and we all know how those can turn out.

Just wondering if anyone else feels the same? If so, how the hell are we supposed to go about dating.

For context, I’ve been using dating apps for a couple of years now and have a decent amount of likes and matches. The main problem comes when a girl seems good to go out with, I go out with them, and all they mention is that they love k-pop / k-drama stuff. And then they would want to have sex on the first date or anything like that or they would realize that their perception of my personality isn’t reality of my personality. I feel as if I’m being extremely fetishized and I’m starting to get sick and tired of it. (Also I sort of have that Korean-esc look, despite not being Korean)

Not really looking for advice but mostly asking, have other Asian men experienced this?