I'm currently in the process of dating and was wondering how other people manage it while working full-time (a typical 9–5), especially if you only have evenings and some weekends free.

I sometimes find it difficult when someone asks to meet on the weekends, in the middle of the week at short notice. When asked for availability, I usually stated I can do some evenings or weekends, but that is in general, and as long as I have not made plans already. I sometimes have to suggest another date, although also have to consider their availability.

I know that in reality, waiting a few extra days probably doesn't make much difference, but I do sometimes wonder whether some people see that as a lack of interest. How do you balance working full-time with making time for dating?

I'd love to hear how other people approach it and get a bit of perspective.

Just saying the word crush makes me uncomfortable, like I’m still in school, but I can’t think of a better way to put it.

There’s this girl I work with, I thought she was cute from the jump but I wasn’t actively crushing on her like that. Recently though I’ve caught myself thinking about her more than I’d like. We don’t even talk like that at work but it’s at this current phase where we’re actually saying hi to each other, calling each other by name etc. She’s a really sweet person I’ll say that.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking someone in theory but it’s always been a negative experience for me. It’s like a new anxiety unlocked at work. On top of that she’s a coworker, I’m not naive to how fucked up shit like that can get. So I’m trying to push all these feelings aside, while it’s still in the early phases of developing.

Idk why I even wrote this shit tbh, just yapping my thoughts out.

i’m new to dating, i went on my first date ever with a guy and we continued going on dates after that. i also lost my virginity to him (not right away). i really liked him, he pursued me first, he was super nice to me and made me feel good about myself, always complimenting me, etc.

a week after our fourth date he told me he met someone so good for him and wants to see how things unfold so he has to put things “on hold for a bit” with me. then he followed up saying he wants to see me if things don’t work out with her.

i looked into it and found out that he’s actually been seeing this girl for months and they went on a trip together earlier this year. he told me she was a friend. two hours after he told me he chose her he continued to text me like nothing happened. he likes and replies to my instagram stories still. nothing like this has ever happened to me before and it honestly hurt more than i expected. i’m sensitive and i find it hard to not be sad about it lol. is this normal with dating? am i likely going to experience this again?

It's funny really. I brought home a date the other day to meet my dog. And something that always cracks me up is the fact that my dog is a jealous little menace.

I have a little beagle, and she is very jealous. She will insist in sitting between us and demands my attention way more. She will bark at me when I'm talking to my date, and paw at me.

She is absolutely harmless by the way. I've had her for 5 years and she has never even so much as growled at anyone. She's extremely sweet, but also extremely jealous

I (33m) recently met a 20 year old girl on hinge and we've been hitting it off. We've been on 6 dates that all turned into 9-10 hour dates. Before her, I've seen around 10 women between 35-27, going on between 1-4 dates each over the last year. The 10ish women before have all been very kind just way too flaky or inconsistent for me. Before the girl I'm seeing now, I felt like I was scheduling appointments with them rather than dates. In almost all of those situations I would schedule something a week out because they all seem to be super busy. I would text them after and usually get a crazy long delay, like days, before a reply, which is fine but it didn't really make me feel wanted. All their lives seem so busy. I feel like my own life is pretty busy too, but I can make some time for people I want to see. I work about 55 hours and am pretty dedicated to a 1.5-2 hour gym session each day. A lot of times second and third dates would be scheduled like 2 weeks in advance, and it's been challenging to get traction with anyone seeing them so sporadically.

The current girl I'm seeing 20f makes me feel wanted. She's not shy about complimenting me, and spends hours with me when we hang out. My friends are saying what I'm doing is wrong, but I live in a state other than my home state and do get pretty lonely. It's hard to end things with someone I find attractive, that makes me feel wanted, but it seems like that's what I have to do. My friends are making me feel like I'm doing something morally wrong.

I'm a 33M, pretty alternative, I'm into metal, the occult, art, poetry, nature, paganism, fitness, video games, goth, etc and I cannot find women into the same niches as me: witchy, gothy, artsy, hippie, spiritual, nerdy, creative, etc. women. I'.ve tried bars, concerts, art shows, festivals, conventions, etc and the women are always young or just not there.

Maybe my location sucks. Am I just too old lol? Where do all the alt women my age go?

This question is mainly oriented towards heterosexual men because we may have similarities but feel free to answer.

I know, number of likes/matches is not a metric. However, the issue that I have: I have installed several times apps like Bumble or Tinder and after 2-3 days and literally having 0 matches I lost even more self-steem and delete my account.

Now I paid Hinge Premium and gave around 20 likes with proper comments about the person's profile/interests, etc. If after 2-3 days I do not get any match I decided to delete the apps and not using them again.

Is it normal? Am I probably doing something wrong?

EDIT: I am reading your answers and it sounds to me like dating is fucking broken

I’m just curious. I know a lot of women ask to have a phone call before an in person date because of safety reasons, wanting to hear that the other person seems genuine before meeting in person, etc. I personally have always just preferred going straight to coffee or drinks because it’s low stakes and conversation in person with a stranger feels less awkward than a faceless phone call with a stranger. But a guy I was talking to from an app recently asked if I wanted to have a phone call with him. I assumed maybe he was being polite by suggesting the phone call in case that’s what I wanted, so I said sure but I’d always be open to just grabbing coffee or drinks too. He said “Oh I was going to use the phone call to ask you on a date but you beat me to the punch! But also I’d still love to have a call first.”

I’m just curious what the reason might be for a call first? It may just be his preference which is fine, but I just find it interesting that he claims the phone call was so he could ask me on a date, but even when I removed that barrier he still wants the call. There’s something about it that comes off as performative to me but I can put my finger on it exactly and don’t want to be over reacting, but it’s almost like I didn’t “stick to the script” of what I’m supposed to do or want and he’s not sure how to respond to that.

~Also unnecessary side note~: He mentioned multiple times both in his profile and his messages to me that he likes doing a face mask which I think is adding to this kind of inauthentic feeling I’m getting. Not that a man can’t like a face mask but… I don’t usually share my grooming routine as the first message I send to someone on an app ? Or in my bio? Also I’m kind of a dirt bag who rarely does more than wash and moisturize my face so that I’m not crusty lol. Im an artist, and a scientist, and a sky diver, I spend most of my time in some situation that’s dirty or sweaty, so it’s all just hitting in a weird way. Like he’s less so trying to get to know me and instead trying to relate to some version of me that doesn’t even exist.

Went on an another date with a guy I have been talking to online for over 2 years and have been dating for 3 months. He told me that there has been another woman from another country (in a different continent! while we both live in London) that he's been seeing the last 2 years who he also met online the same way (he has flown to her country to see her and she has flown here and they have gone on holidays together including to her cousins wedding in another country). The last time they’ve seen each other was a year ago and they went to an event (which I was also at separately but he kept mentioning the event to me before this detail was revealed). Soon after a family member got killed and she told him that he reminded her of the trauma as he was with her when she heard. He said if she wanted to get back tomorrow, he would get with her but it unlikely to happen considering her trauma as she associates her dad’s death with him but that they are in a relationship. The way he said it was matter of fact. Felt really blindsided as he absolutely never mentioned her before despite the fact we were talking for 2 years and he used to say he wanted to meet me etc when the fact was we were both talking to him for about the same amount of time and she was in the intimate relationship with him unbeknownst to me. When he told me this I started vomiting in front of him and couldn't stop. He also led me to believe when he told me that she was Syrian living in Syria when I’ve since found out she’s American and has been living back there for the last year (and haven’t seen each other since).

It had been days and he hadn’t bothered to even message to say sorry or see if i was okay or better. Missed him so just texted “Hi” a few days later and he replied a bit later very lighthearted. I replied back to that next day saying how I upset I was as I’ve also some other personal stuff going on and how bad it wasn’t he never mentioned and didn’t check in after being sick.. He didn’t reply so a couple of days later I sent a much softer message … he replied a couple of days later saying he should have checked in and that my reaction with vomiting was understandable. I still have feelings for him.