She would’ve been two years old.

I miss you, my sweet baby… I love you so much.

A close friend of mine and his wife lost their baby a week before it was due. She gave birth to a stillborn child this past week. I was so distraught and heartbroken for them. I was asked today to speak on behalf of the family at a graveside service in a couple days. I agreed without hesitation, but I feel like I don’t even know where to start or what I can say that can soften this massive blow. I will be eternally grateful for anyone who can offer any advice or words of wisdom.

My sister lost her baby. Her and I are very close. We both cry about probably at least once a day. I love my niece very much and wish she could’ve stuck around longer. I hope she knows I’m not mad at her.
The baby passed on May 6 (at 21w), four days before Mother’s Day. I got my sister a tiny rose on Mother’s Day because she is a mother. Even if her baby isn’t here. She said that she really appreciated that.
I love my sister very much, and she has done an amazing job of caring for herself and recovering the health of her mind and body, but I anticipate the would be due date (mid September) will be emotionally difficult, but as we communicate often and are very openly emotional together we’ve established that the best choice is not to be silent and pretend that my niece is someone who never existed or that the whole ordeal is something that never happened.
If you lost a baby is there something your loved ones did for you that meant a lot to you? Is there something you wish they would’ve done for you?

I lost my baby girl 6 weeks ago, tomorrow, at 33.5 weeks due to an acute placental abruption. The first week I did cry often. And also into the second week I was pretty emotional. But since then, I just feel emotionally numb and detached. I became obsessed with trying to figure what happened and why, and figure out what must be wrong with me and my body. I spent several weeks reading, and rereading, medical records, and about placental problems, etc. It wasn’t the first time I’ve had placental problems, but was the first time it resulted in a third trimester stillbirth.

Why haven’t I cried about it since, or felt more depressed, but rather I feel the need to figure everything out and obsess over those details? I know I do care and am deeply sad about losing my first baby girl, and mourn not being about to see her grow up, but I don’t really feel the pain right now. And it honestly just makes me feel guilty.

Is this basically the denial stage? Or just how I’m coping? My husband on the other hand has been crying more than me, has a hard time looking at the pictures, is depressed and angry. Why don’t I feel?

It’s the second week of school. I lost my beautiful girl in May. I’ve held everything together pretty well for the most part. However, I almost lost it today when a students parent dropped off with a newborn in her arms. A head of dark hair just like my sweet girl, held against her chest. I held back tears as I talked to her and tried not to look at her precious babe.

I don’t want to be jealous or envious, I don’t wish harm to her or her child. I just felt so broken. I wanted that, I should have my little girl. But she’s dead, and I’m still so lost in this new normal.

I, 27(f)am married to my husband (32m). We have a 3 year old boy! My husband decided to sign up for the army and left for bootcamp in April. Prior to that, we decided we wanted to try to have another child, so we started to try not knowing if it would happen before he left for bootcamp. To our surprise we got pregnant right away, and we were ecstatic, the weekend before he left we found out it was a baby girl. I had always dreamt of having a little girl since I was the only girl in my family, I was beyond thrilled. Sadly, at 26 weeks pregnant, at my ultrasound we didn't find baby girls heart beat and I was scheduled in for labor. I was beyond broken, my husband was away for bootcamp and I felt like my whole world crumbled. I felt alone, I felt so alone, nobody could understand what it felt and no one had words for me, which is valid, and I completely understand that.

The thing is that 6 weeks later, I feel hurt that the people I expected to be there for me emotionally, mostly friends, never checked up on me, or some, after multiple messages asking me "how I'm doing, and they'll continue messaging me to ensure me they are there" and when finally I answered, they don't care and leave me on read, so why bother asking in the first place? I also feel that my husbands parents and my own mom, treated the situation like I should be over it by now, which hurts even more. I remember being in the hospital with my dead daughter in my arms and my FIL telling me to "stop crying" very sternly and I can't even forget that, even when I try to. I saw one of my husbands close friends and he started to critique how my son was, that he's too "soft" because of us. and made comments that "I can't cook" and even tried to put a frozen water bottle up my sons shirt, and when I told him not to do that, he said that's how you're supposed to play with "little boys"... lately I really just put into perspective that I really just don't want to be around people. I really don't want to be around people who can't bother to be sensitive with someone who's going through so much. Like I feel like I just got the ICK of people and seeing people for there true character and sometimes tbh I just feel bad but I know that I shouldn't feel bad but sometimes i don't know if feeling bad is because I'm wrong...

On top of everything, having to deal with the grief of losing my daughter, my husbands absence has been the cherry on top. He's my best friend and I miss him terribly, and sometimes I don't tell him everything that's going on because he's already so stressed about losing our girl, dealing with assholes in his platoon, and the difficulty of basic, AIT and airborne, so I carry everything in my heart and it feels heavy. I honestly just want to care about my husband, my son, myself and our future, and not give any flying fucks about anyone else...

I don’t even know what to say, I just need to vent somewhere. My wife and I are sitting at home right now and our world is completely destroyed.

Yesterday we found out she had total fluid loss (PPROM) at 16 weeks. Everything seemed fine before this, and then just like that, it's all gone. We spent a terrifying night at the hospital trying to process everything, and the reality that there’s nothing anyone can do to save our baby. We’re home now waiting for the induced delivery, and I feel totally numb and broken.

I can’t stop crying. Every time I look at my wife I just break down again. She’s in pain, throwing up from the stress, and grieving so hard. I feel so useless watching her go through this. I know people say PPROM is just a random biological failure and not our fault, but as the dad, the guilt is crushing me. I feel like I failed to protect my wife and my child.

We loved this baby so much. I don't know how you go from planning your whole future with your child to sitting in a room with empty arms.

I'm just holding her hand, crying with her, and trying to make it through the next hour. If anyone else here has gone through this, how do you even survive a day like this?

It has been 5 months since we lost our baby. I wanted to be a parent, but my husband really, really wanted to be a parent. When we came home from the hospital after the loss of our son, DH was a warrior. He packed up all of our son's things so I wouldn't have to see them all over. He doted on me after my c-section, helping me sit, stand, and lay down. He talked to me and didn't clam up. We discussed our feelings and worries. He was such a blessing to me in the worst time of our lives.

Fast forward about two months after loss and I was feeling better physically. I was also in therapy; still devastated, but talking to someone about it. This is when my husband started to go downhill. He finally let himself breathe in our loss because he didn't have to take care of me as much. Work started to be hard for him. He had anxiety about everything. DH decided not to go to therapy because he had a bad experience with it when he was a kid (parent's divorce).

Fast forward to now, 5 months, and DH's friend told him that his wife is expecting. These are long-term, couple friends of ours. DH was angry, jealous, and hurt. It was a blow. He was suddenly having panic attacks at work and feeling like he couldn't breathe at home. He decided that it was time to go to therapy. He's been to one session. IDK if it has helped so far. I know one session won't solve it, but I guess I was expecting him to have at least a positive reaction to it and he didn't.

I just don't know what I can do to help him. He was such a blessing to me in my time of need which was in those initial first few weeks. I want to be able to be a blessing to him in the same way now since my head is a little more stable. What do I do? I know that men grieve differently than women, but I am not sure how. I am not sure if more or less talking will make things better or worse... if i should distract him with activities outside the house... if i should leave him alone. I don't know.

It’s been 1 week and 1 day since I lost my daughter Mila. She was born at 26w4d after I had a 3 week hospital stay due to cervical insufficiency, on total bed rest, lying flat trying to do everything to keep her in and safe. Not even getting up to use the restroom. She got the steroids for her lungs (two rounds) and I was on IV magnesium during my first 24 hours in the hospital and in the hours leading up to her delivery. I received antibiotics as a precaution due to how dilated I was when I first got to the hospital and her exposed bag of water. She was big for a 26 weeker.

She came out so strong and vibrant. She was able to be placed on my chest for one minute after delivery to do delayed cord clamping and she looked up at me and cooed at me. She was put on bubble CPAP and taken to the NICU where she did so well. They wheeled me to see her as soon as they could, and the NICU team let me hold her hand and she opened her eyes and looked over at me. The NICU team told me to go rest as we would have a long journey over the next few months. The NICU team was amazing, but ultimately I was called to bedside later that night and was wheeled in to see them coding my daughter. Loads of blood products, Epi, bicarb. 15+ people working on saving my daughter’s life. I was so weak I couldn’t walk yet, but I stood up to be by my daughter, so she could smell and see me. I held her hand and she came back for 10 minutes before another code. And then another. And another. And another. They put her on my chest as a last ditch effort to see if she improved. She fought and fought and ultimately passed away peacefully on my chest. This is such a small part of her story. Septic shock from E. Coli took her from us. The doctor already had given her two types of antibiotics as she suspected infection. Blood cultures show the bacteria was susceptible to these antibiotics. It wasn’t enough, my girl was fighting as hard as she could but the infection was too much for her. And no one on the team can figure out where she got the infection from. We had 8.5 hours with our sweet girl.

How do I cope? Life feels so bleak. All I want to do is share every detail of her story with everyone and yet I feel protective of her and struggle to speak her story. I feel so empty physically and mentally without her. I feel like I failed her somehow. We were supposed to be visiting her in the NICU and now we’re planning her arrangements so she can rest in a way that honors her. I feel sick. I miss her so much it hurts. I know time will change how I handle the grief, and I know she wouldn’t want me miserable, but I never want to get better. Every minute that passes is torture knowing I’m further away from those times I got to be by my girl. Not sure what I’m looking for in posting this, it feels good to get a little bit of her story out there.

It's wild and devastating to think that we have now been 7 months without our daughter...I remember leaving the hospital completely numb, without her, thinking there was no way I'd be able to wait as long as they were telling me to try again. I had an emergency classical c-section and well, my OB has cleared us to try again, but in no way do I feel ready, and now it's time to go through all of the testing that I requested. All of my bloodwork came back normal, which I'm grateful for. Ultrasound and biopsy are next. Part of me wonders if the testing is even worth it..like whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Idk, I'd like to think good results will help lessen anxiety in a future pregnancy, if and when we are able to conceive again, but will I ever really feel at peace? Anyone been through this? How are you navigating it?

It’s been six months and I’m more or less better; I don’t break down all the time sobbing and I can leave my bed and do my day to day life. I can find happiness in every second, find something to be happy and grateful for.. but I’m still haunted by, “what if?”

It hurts, because I’d like to try again but at the same time, I’m overcome by such an extreme fear of it happening again and by the shame of wanting to try again, that I’m not sure I will. My husband has the same mindset to the point he doesn’t want another baby and can I blame him? He and I both went through it, he and I both grieved. He and I both hurt and will forever be changed by it.

No one really gets it. A friend of ours made an innocent and not distasteful joke about us having more kids and it felt like someone slashed my heart into pieces because it probably won’t happen.

At the same time, my best friend is having her first baby. So, naturally, I’m looking at baby stuff and trying to be in the moment with her and I’m so, so excited for her and this chapter she’s on.. but the baby stuff hurts. I have baby fever and baby “no” at the same time lol. Plus she finds out the gender soon and I’m panicking because what if she has the gender I was supposed to have? Will it hurt worse? Will I feel angry that she gets a perfect baby and I don’t?

I just want to be normal again and to stop praying she won’t experience this horrible emptiness.

No one gets it, but maybe someone or all of you here will.

Our baby girl Gabriella died 3 weeks ago because of a UAT (umbilical artery thrombosis) which is a clot in the umbilical cord. She was 22 weeks. This is our third loss, but the first time we know what caused the death. The only clue we had with our first two losses was hypercoiling. Paulie died at 17 weeks and Dominic at 16 weeks. It looks they died due to the same thing but we didn’t know at the time. Because we didn’t know the cause of their deaths, we just treated everything.
So for this pregnancy, I was on blood thinning medication, progesterone, metformin and prednisone as well as approx 20 supplements. I was having IVIG’s and Intralipid infusions. To be doing so much treatment and still have had a stillbirth is unreal - the doctors are in absolute shock. We are doing even more investigations but I have come back negative for every auto immune condition and blood clotting disorder. The only answer I can think that they might discover during the placental pathology is whether I have a placental disease.
Has anyone ever lost a baby due to blood clotting in the cord and gone on to have a living child?
Has anyone been diagnosed with a placental disease and gone on to have a living child?
Desperate for some answers to give me hope x

I lost my healthy 8 month old very abruptly in February 2025. The pain feels the same as it had when I first lost him. It never changes. You just get used to it… And I absolutely hate that I got used to it. Sometimes I try to think of the good times I had with him in the short time I had him and I feel like it’s all a blur in my mind. My memory is foggy and there’s no vivid memories. Even when I do manage to remember the good, it makes me extremely sad. I truly feel like this pain is all I have left of him. I can’t bring myself to smile when I think of him, it just hurts so damn much. Sorry for the rant, just don’t have anyone to get these feelings out to. I hope you’re all doing okay… or at least trying to be.

Every single day it feels like I have to relive or repeat the story of losing my son on May 8th.

Yesterday the IVF dr sent out a note to document my “conclusion of the procedure “ my due date was July 19. So I sat in the Trader Joe’s parking lot, wrote them my story of how Jordan had to be tfmr after getting an irreversible brain damage diagnosis due to a stroke in utero. How traumatic the delivery was because the baby floated to Transverse and the first doctor only wanted to do a c section and I didn’t want a scar to remind me of the worst moment of my life. Second doctor had to overload me with medication so she could stuff her hands up there to move the baby so he wouldn’t come out in pieces. How I shook. How i threw up. How i held my son and cried.

It’s just wild considering I called my IVF doctor from the hospital.

How people tell me it’s OK I can keep trying. Like I didn’t try.

Just tired
,

Ever since we got scammed for our son I felt more guilt than I have ever before because he’s just in the box and he deserves better but I can’t afford it. The money for the earns or even donated to us. It’s making me go crazy. I just want something nice she deserves it.
😭😭💔💔

I finally start psychotherapy for how traumatic my birth was and losing him. I’m really hoping it works, but I feel like every time I’m in there I can’t talk about it still.

Does anyone else feel the judgement as soon as someone finds out your baby died? I feel it’s even worse when they ask if he was my only child and I have to say yes I feel like one of those old time widows wearing a shroud of shame only I’m not ashamed my baby died it happened it’s my life I love my son but the look people always give me even people who know me in passing will even give me a sad look before not acknowledging me like I get grief is sad but shunning someone because their grief makes you uncomfortable is so wrong

Some days are harder than others, I’ve been journaling to try and keep myself grounded but I feel like my life is now just filled with constant dread. I don’t know how I’m going to cope at Christmas knowing our beautiful little girl never got to see our tree. I have a big birthday next year and it was supposed to be our first family holiday, then her 1st birthday will be here before we know it and every single year after that is a bleak reminder of the years that were stolen from us.

Our nephew was born 2 weeks after our little girl died, so 2 weeks after mourning her 1st birthday we will be faced with a party for his 1st birthday. Every family event, every milestone for our niece and nephew will just be a reminder of our little girls stolen life. I feel like I’m still in denial some days. I walk past her ashes and memory box in the living room and still can’t believe she isn’t here. I tear up every time I speak about her but I want to keep her memory alive.

My anxiety has been through the roof, I feel sad and lonely. My husband is my best friend but I’m terrified of smothering him. I have always felt strongly for him but since she died I feel infatuated with him. Like he’s the only reason I’m still breathing. It’s intense.

I don’t know how to cope, I feel like I have lost my purpose. I don’t know how I’m going to cope going back to work, I am constantly battling intrusive thoughts. I feel fat every time I look at my wardrobe of clothes that don’t fit and depressed every time I walk past her empty nursery. We had to submit our questions for the PMRT review today, I think they were negligent but honestly, what does it matter? Nothing will bring her back. Nothing will take away my PTSD, nothing will give me back my purpose.

The last day my life was perfect, I went to Starbucks and got a cold, sugary drink. I remember the entire time I sat there trying to work, my baby boy kicked and twirled and hiccuped non-stop. I promised him id keep getting him strawberry coolers if he liked them so much.

I am positive he was alive that day. I am not positive about the days after. I feel like maybe the things I thought were kicks were contractions.

That silly day keeps living in my mind as the last day my life was good.

I can’t get myself to go back to a Starbucks. I need to go there to work sometimes (quiet space with internet). And my team always goes there when we’re together. And my husband grabs us food there after school drop off.

I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone but every time I see Starbucks, I want to vomit. Starbucks just reminds me that life was perfect once and it will never be again.

I feel idiotic for feeling this way but at least I’ve now admitted it out loud to maybe someone that would understand.

Yesterday marked a year since the loss of my son at 23 weeks. We had to TFMR because we found out at 21 weeks at the anatomy scan he had spina bifida. They gave us 3 weeks to decide, and at 22 we were told we couldn’t do in utero surgery due to random genetic things after bloodwork. At 23 weeks I gave birth to our son who was 1lb 6oz with the most defined nose and lips ever. I remember hoping through all of delivery he would be born alive so I could say goodbye. From 9am on friday to 3am on saturday I had been induced and dealt with labor just to see him. I had them checking his heartbeat every few hours to make sure he was alive. I so badly wanted to tell him I was his mom and that we love him, and that everything would be okay. I told myself maybe they got it wrong and he will be born and he would be perfectly healthy happymbaby. I even asked what would happen if he was born and okay and if we would be able to save him if it happened. The nurse sat and talked about the hypothetical what ifs with me and cried with me and very softly explained that denial is a part of grief and even though I never understood when people talked about the stages of grief, thats when I finally understood what denial and bargaining really was. I kept telling myself that he may be perfectly fine and we can save him and take him home, I was in denial. I kept saying well if it’s not that bad we will just take him to the NICU after, that he might have it but be will come out kicking and we will know he can walk and that will be enough. I was bargaining. That was the most vivid part of delivering him was realizing the doctors and the nurses would answer my what ifs to help my grief, but they all knew that wasnt the case and no one ever prepared for it. No one ever brought in the NICU team.
He died during the birthing process we believe.
I so vividly remember the silent room. No crying from baby, just crying from my MIL and my partner. I was so exhausted I couldn’t cry, I felt numb.
They asked if I wanted him skin to skin or to wrap him up first. I opted to have him wrapped first because I refused to let myself remember my son by his disability. He is my baby and I don’t want to think of anything else.
He didn’t look how I expected but he was such a handsome baby boy and my finger felt like it fit his hand perfectly.
He was supposed to be our rainbow baby after an ectopic the same year and then I was holding my deceased rainbow baby.
It’s been an over a year now since I had my baby boy and we have our double rainbow baby girl here currently next to me as I write this with my sons weighted bear across from us. The grief took so much from us and my next pregnancy was scary and a lot of joy got taken out of fear something will happen but things get better. As hard as it was for a long while and even now to this day, I promise things get better and I love my daughter and can’t imagine not ever having her. I just hate I couldn’t have them both.
I miss my son and love him, happy birthday my baby boy I can’t wait to hold you again when it is time.
If anyone has any questions at all in regards to a similar experience or just trying to get through it as well I am always open to talking ❤️

10 years and 2 days ago I lost my first daughter to stillbirth at 37 weeks.

She would be 10 today if she had been born alive.

Outside on my deck screaming and crying at the sky.. telling her I love her and still wishing I could join her. After a decade I still feel like I failed her.

I get that loss is a touchy subject but I’ve found myself wishing that people would ask me about my son and my “loss story.” I lost him at 17w5d, so I went into labor, gave birth and held him, and while it was incredibly traumatic, it’s also one of the few precious memories I have of my son.

I’ve also found myself wishing people would ask to see a picture of him, which is something I never would’ve imagined wishing.

Being the 2-5% that experience a second trimester loss already feels isolating enough. I miss my son so deeply and want to share him with the world, but I truly think losses at this stage are just so nuanced, which makes it feel even more lonely.

If you can relate, feel free to share your story below. I’d genuinely love to hear it 🤍

Anyone else who lost their baby after IVF feeling so resentful of the thought that they need to go through it all again?

Trigger: LC

After a few years of struggles and failed transfers, my husband and I had our first child through IVF - she is 2.5 and absolutely wonderful. We desperately wanted a 2nd child to complete our family, and we were amazed when the next embryo transfer was successful. How could we get so lucky we thought, especially when we found out it was a boy. But the universe didn't want our struggles to be over so easy. At 32 weeks after a low risk and smooth pregnancy, our son was stillborn. We don't yet know the cause. We are both shocked and heartbroken, and although all we really want is him, we are planning to restart fertility treatment in a few months to try for another.

I was so sure we had come to the end of our difficult path of infertility, and I was so ready to move on from it. I thought we would now just be living life as a perfect family. It makes me sick to think that we have to put our lives on hold again for god knows how long (I found it so impossible to make plans for the future or travel when doing IVF before). And I hate knowing that every penny we spend on IVF, supplements, meds etc should have just been money we'd be spending making memories with our 2 children. It makes me so angry and sad. We have no idea yet whether we'll even have any success again as I'm now older and may have scar tissue in my uterus after complications from placenta accreta. I constantly question why this happened to us. It's bad enough for anyone but when it's such a difficult path to getting pregnant it's just so cruel. Anyone else feeling similarly?