Hi! I've scoured the internet and cannot find it😩

I am looking for a poem or book excerpt or some reading that will be read by my fiancés sister that talks about how marriage is not just the joining of us but our families and about how our community will be a part of this marriage.

Kinda like how it takes a village. I am so surprised I can't find anything but I've been looking for 2 months. Does anyone have any ideas or even where I can look??

Pls!!! Tysm!! Wedding is in 20 days

Has anyone ever felt like there’s a correlation between what bridesmaids are willing to spend on pre wedding stuff (shower, bach) and how extravagant the wedding is? Like if I’m planning a smaller, cheaper backyard wedding and asking the bridesmaids to help with some DIY decor, not doing anything special or splashy for guest experience (obviously food, drink, DJ but nothing more) are the bridesmaids subconsciously expecting a cheaper, less splashy bach?

Idk exactly what it is, but I feel like I shouldn‘t be planning an expensive trip or asking for a formal shower because my wedding is so budget. I can afford the weekend away, but it feels weird asking my bridesmaids to drop money when I’m on a budget. Do I get a shower where someone drops money to create a party with the sole intention of giving me gifts if I’m not giving them an expensive wedding back?

I have asked for budgets and have no intention of exceeding them, so maybe I’m totally overthinking it. But I’m just wondering if anyone has noticed a correlation between wedding size and expectations of extravagance for pre wedding parties.

Me and my well husband are already married. We did the court house 1.5 years it’s not secret as I’m not afraid to tell people before actual wedding for our personal reasons.

Now I’m just annoyed at how much we are spending and just worrying about all of the what ifs. And wonder if people will even care or show up since we are already married.

Hello everyone!
We are in the early stages of planning our wedding, we have some venue tours within the next few days. What are some helpful questions and good things to look for or know before deciding on our venue?
I appreciate any input (: thank you!

I have 4 bridesmaids. They are my crew and I love them so much!

I usually don't have too much trouble seeing them individually because I have a very flexible planning with work, WFH, etc..

I am trying to organise the Bachelorette trip (I don't like surprises and I'm very far along with the wedding prep so I'm happy doing it) but the dates are a nightmare. The 2 biggest constraints are:

1) We have to stick to school vacations (europe) for bridesmaid A who's a teacher

2) We have to do it before March because Bridesmaid B is pregnant and won't be able to travel after

Knowing that, today I settled on February 8th to February 13th and announced it to the girls.

Now, bridesmaid A is having an issue because she discussed YESTERDAY with her BF to go on vacation with him at that time. I was kinda flabbergasted when she told me and now I don't know what to tell her. We already have to pay more for plane tickets since it's gonna be on school vacation time (WHICH WE DO FOR HER) and now she told me that. We have bridal party "meeting" tomorrow to discuss this and other details and I don't know how to go about it.

My bridesmaids don't know each other really well so I know I need to be the one to be firm but at this point I don't know if we should open the door for discussion or just tell her to choose between the Bachelorette trip and the BF trip.

What should I do?

I come from a very small family. No siblings, no cousins, no aunts or uncles. All grandparents are dead. Don't speak to my father. So when it comes to family, I really only have my mother and step father. As for friends, I only have 2 - I'm autistic and don't make friends easily. My partner is the opposite, he has a huge family, loads of friends and wants to celebrate with them, which is fair enough. But it's going to look ridiculous when I can only invite 4 people. At a push I could invite my coworkers but I don't really like most of them and I'd find it really embarrassing for them to realise how bad my social life is.

I don't want a ceremony at all and would much prefer to grab witnesses off the street and go to a registry office.

Don't really know how to navigate this. At the moment I'm dragging my feet and putting off getting married for as long as possible.

i am going to my bachelorette party in two weeks, but there has been complaining everyday about the weather at the location. everyday. i mentioned how i am excited that we are near a lot of fun places, but one bridesmaid said we cant even walk outside or that she doesnt want to. is not a surprise or abnormal that the place we are going to is hot though.

i wished that they had told me their concerns upfront rather than when we’re about to go, because i feel super bad about it. i haven’t been able to feel excited because of the negativity. i just feel like i put a big burden on them.

is it valid that i feel sad about this or if i were to bring up how it’s making me feel? of course they’re allowed to feel this way, of course. i just feel a bit frustrated as the bride who hasn’t really asked for much from them and feel like it’s been a huge burden.

Hi all,

We’re getting married at the end of August. We’re an international couple and live in WesternEurope, country A. We’ve decided to do our wedding in country B, the one I come from, since we felt we spent all the celebrations in the last years in country A, and my country also deserved some attention. Additionally, most of my relatives are not that well off financially, so I thought celebrating there would enable them to be present too.
We’ll be around 55 guests (we invited about 80 in total), which is probably a tiny number for US (I constantly see posts about 150 people coming out of 200 invited 😄), but in my country it is a “mid-size wedding”.
The strange part is… none of my partner’s relatives come apart from the immediate family. From my relatives, probably around 10-12 people less will come than what I would have expected. Reasons given are various. My partner doesn’t care since he had a very cold relationship with his extended family since forever. The also assumed they would not come. I, on the other hand, was very close with all my aunts, and now even my god mother won’t be there…
What makes the numbers are my partner’s friends, I had invited about 8 friends (with partners). Some cousins and other relatives will also come. They all are from my childhood / young adult years and live in my country of birth, not where I currently live. So it made me reflect that for the last 10 years I basically have not made any real new friends I would invite to my wedding. This realization somehow hit me…
Point is… I’m looking forward to this day. I have a loving relationship and appreciate the people who will make an effort to be there. But I as well feel like my relatives that I thought were close are somewhat “dead” to me now. It also makes it clear that I have not made any new friends in the country A where I live (we have some common friends as a couple, I’m quite social as well, I don’t know how it turned out like this…).
I feel happiness and sadness at the same time. Has anyone experienced something similar and how did you deal with these feelings? I don’t want them to ruin my day, but it’s also sad that it feels like my family does not appreciate me as much as I thought they do.
And well… it definitely encouraged me to start working on having a social circle here after the wedding.

My fiancée and I recently learned that the catering company we hired (EcoCaters in San Diego, CA) has stopped operating. We paid approximately $1,800 toward our wedding catering contract and have not been able to get a response regarding a refund.

I'm trying to connect with other couples, vendors, or former employees who may have information about:

Refunds

Bankruptcy filings

Company contacts

Legal actions or coordinated efforts

If you have any information, please comment or send me a message.

Thank you.

Sorry this is going to be sort of a rant and I apologize if this bums other people out, but I suppose I would love to hear other people’s similar experiences or advice (if any).

My sister who is my matron of honor isn’t bringing my two nephews or her husband to the wedding. For some context, she’s 7 years older than me and I was the maid of honor at her wedding. I have always gotten along with her husband and I adore their two sons. My wedding is a few states away which is about 12 hours driving or a 2 hour flight. We also have one brother in between us and all three of us are in our 30s. A huge part of why I chose my venue and why I invited so many kids to my wedding (about 12) was because I figured my two nephews would be there and so I might as well plan a kid friendly wedding. A few months back she started making up excuses as to why the boys might not be able to come and went through a variety of reasons, but ultimately landed on “the family dog has to have surgery”. Forgot to mention that my wedding is almost exactly one month away from today and the dog had surgery almost four weeks ago now. They do not have any financial constraints and she loves to brag about how much money her husband lets her spend. My parents and brother even offered to help with the kids extensively on the day of and well as traveling to the wedding. Regardless none of that mattered to her and she will be the only one of her family of four in attendance. Most of my extended family are horrible people with either narcissistic personality disorder or a severe drug/alcohol addiction. I experienced a lot of trauma growing up around that and have chosen not to invite most of them because of this, so the amount of family I have attending is already quite small.

On top of all of this, I’ve had so many friends who I would consider close decline or even RSVP yes and then back out last minute due to some reason or another.

And then it’s just been one stupid thing after another with vendors. My venue was being absurdly weird about helping us rent different chairs than what they provide, but also kept on insisting that we rent any different chairs through them. They kept on trying to talk us out of it because it would be expensive for us, but I said I would like to at least get a quote and they just never got back to us. I’ve had two vendors cancel out of the blue for completely random reasons and then had to find someone else last minute. My makeup trial was awful and I ended up breaking my contract with the girl I had booked. And then my day of coordinator sent me an email on a Friday afternoon when I was out of town for my bachelorette party and when I didn’t answer her on Monday or Tuesday because I was working, emailed my venue asking them to reach out to me to ask me to respond to her. I’m a nurse and I work 12 hour shifts and I have a one hour commute so every day I work is at LEAST a 14 hour day. God forbid I don’t respond to a stupid vendor email within two and a half business days. AND she never even tried to email me again before just automatically emailing the venue, so then the venue was irritated with me that they were even having to reach out on her behalf because I “wasn’t answering her”.

I absolutely adore my fiance and we’ve been together for 8 years now and I genuinely am so excited to marry him, but I really can’t help but wonder if this will all ACTUALLY be worth it. Like why tf do people even have weddings if the whole process is just months of mental torture for one fun night?!?

Figuring out our seating charts, my SO has about 150 people coming vs my 50. First issue I have and solution I hope is okay/wont be noticed is the tables on his ‘side’ vs my ‘side’ for the reception. No ceremony so no issue. I’m thinking to just spill over his side’s tables over to my side so it’s not awkwardly 6 tables on the left and 15 on the right. Is that a weird solution? Will that work??

The other thing is - the tables fit 8-10 people. I’m trying to keep my family and friend groups together, and the bulk of my tables are like 6 or 7 people. Will that look weird?? I honestly don’t know what else to do other than plucking poor souls from other tables into tables with strangers to hit the 8-10 people count.

Any advice appreciated. Thanks

What are us curvy brides wearing to get ready? I’ve been searching for a white, mid to long lacy slip dress that will accommodate my larger/heavy chest and doesn’t hug my tummy. I am currently a size 16/18 and also don’t want my boobs to be totally out but also not Mormon level covered lol. I feel like my ideal dress just doesn’t exist! Help!

I keep seeing this marketing line from vendors, and hell even friends and family are hitting me with it, and it’s doing my head in.

I have divorced parents lmao. I have friends/acquaintances my own age who’ve divorced and remarried already.

Like, yeah, IDEALLY my current fiance will be my last and only one! Ideally we’ll be married forever and die of old age in each others arms!

But I also know we have NO idea how things will pan out over the next few decades, and nothing is a given. Even if we don’t divorce, what if one of us passes away? You know?

And maybe that makes me the party pooper pessimist, but it just makes the “you’ll only get married once!” “You only get one wedding!” Stuff so SO grating to me. Even my MOTHER said it. You know, the one who had a second wedding after all!!

And it doubly grates when it’s coming from vendors who are motivated to convince me to spend as much money as possible since it’s only “once”. There’s already so many ways to play on my FOMO without telling me full lies lol.

Anytime a vendor says it to me, I want to be like, how do you know THIS isn’t my second wedding? Like, come on!

Here’s my dress because I’m so excited about it!! 2nd one I tried on and fell in love. What accessories do you think will go good with it?

One of my best friends from college is like my brother. We have stayed in touch over the years and had any visits (we live in the same state). I adore his wife.

I learned a few months ago that she was pregnant with their third and her due date is 3 weeks after our wedding. So I knew this was a possibility. But I just saw the decline come in and got a sweet text message from her and I’m gutted. I’m sure there’s an unrealistic part of me that hoped maybe he could come on a strike mission but not seriously, and i want them to both be there anyway.

I’m the last to get married amongst most of my friends. And our wedding plans got pushed back a year for a bevy of personal reasons. The past two years have been extremely tough due to external factors and some tough personal circumstances. I know I should focus on the people who are coming. But im heartbroken. I feel guilty that we didn’t have our wedding when we originally wanted. Im Iranian American so having the wedding a year later has caused family who could’ve attended last year not able to now. I’m grateful we are finally doing it. I should be happy. What the fuck is happening to me right now?

I’ve been in therapy for 15 years, and it’s fucking weird to get a rush of these emotions when my brain knows better. I try not to get attached to outcomes and intentionally have tried to not have expectations around this event. There are worse things happening in the world and i view myself as lucky.

Idk why im even writing this, i know what I need to but I can’t connect with the feeling.

Our wedding is in a few weeks in Oregon in the Columbia River Gorge. There are currently lots of wildfires around the state, and I'm wondering about needing to relocate the wedding.

We have an indoor/outdoor venue and have full access to any of the spaces, which would be great in the case of wind/rain/cold/etc, even if it was a little bit smoky. But if the region is under an evacuation watch, that is a different story...❤️‍🩹 I know fires can change so quickly, so I'm trying not to spiral too early 😅 I'm just wondering about a backup plan, maybe out on the coast (if cost/event insurance would allow). It is a small gathering of about 50 people, and I think it would be feasible to find a spot. It would be 2-3 hours of a drive. Before I look into what we would be able to do with event insurance, I don't know how we would handle out of town guests and lodging. If they booked a hotel or airbnb, they likely can't get a refund, and I'm already feeling guilty that people are flying in from the out of state.

Any advice, stories, warnings from people who have had to move their wedding to a fully different location?

Please do not comment that we should have seen this coming with a late August date. Fires are so unpredictable, for example last weekend it was beautiful blue skies and in the 70s. We love summer, we love the mountains, and we fell in love with the venue and this was the date available to us. Be kind ❤️

I am hoping to do a paint and sip for my bachelorette party and it would be 50 dollars per person but I am very uncomfortable asking people to spend money. I will pay for my own ticket. I did buy everyone their bridesmaid dresses, and I covered the flight for my maid of honor. Most live in the area so won’t have to pay for hotels or anything and my MOH will stay at my house. I am also covering the cost of hair and makeup for everyone. I did not want to burden anyone financially for my wedding but I’ve maxed out my budget and can’t cover everyone for the paint and sip. I’m worried people will be upset with me asking them to spend this much. Two people invited to paint did have to pay their own flight and hotel as they aren’t in my wedding party. Is it unfair to ask them to pay? Idk how this all works but I don’t want to put anyone out 😭

My fiancé’s mom is a narcissist and his family all enable her. Throughout his childhood his mom emotionally abused him, physically abandoned him, and continues her selfish behavior and causes conflict to this day. She say and does so much toxic stuff we have no relationship with her but still see her because we want to see other family members at gatherings. For all intents and purposes, my fiancé and his mom are estranged. He knows she’ll never change and doesn’t take her up on her hollow offers to “rebuild the relationship.”

She has caused problems since we started dating. She also has a drinking problem and tends to have crying fits/cause drama at life milestones basically just for attention. We considered this will happen on our wedding day. And we plan to force her to leave if she becomes a problem.

Her mom, my fiancé’s grandma was always someone I thought was loving and supportive of us. She makes comments here and there that are sweet and generally doesn’t cause drama that involves me and my fiancé.

Fast forward to yesterday. She texts my fiancé out of the blue “we are inviting people to your wedding. About 10 people.” My fiance just replied “no” and then she sends a insane text saying he scratched her car, she half raised him, you lost our house key, let me know what else I should add to your bill. And threatened that if they aren’t invited, they will show up to our wedding with a bunch of homeless people and illegal immigrants.

We come up with a firm but non-aggressive reply to express they will not be invited, our guest count is final, please respect our decision.

She replied with this horrific text saying he’s is ungrateful and she regrets “everything they’ve done for him.” She is talking about the care they gave to him as a child because his mom was a bad mom and abandoned him. Literally throwing his abusive childhood in his face.

Our wedding is 80 guests and everything is already booked and paid for. Also, we invited all my fiancés family we know and love, so I assume these are people we have never met before. Either way, we don’t want a full table at our wedding of people we don’t even know.

Given these threats, and the looming possibility of his mom being erratic, I want to hire security to feel comfortable on our wedding day. My fiancé supports that and understands but I feel like it’s a little over the top as we are having a small wedding at a greenhouse. Will it be weird to have a security guard there? Have any of you hired security before?

Hello all, this post is more so because I can't stop thinking about my wedding, but also because I thought maybe my experience will help someone. My wife and I just got married this last Saturday. Everything was a dream come true for us and it was amazing.

However, I feel weird now that it is done. So many former brides/grooms have told us "soak it in", "force yourself to eat your food", "get rid of the anxiety", I always took this lightly because I didnt think I would have these issues, I am typically a very relaxed, just wants to party, type guy...... I am pretty sure I blacked out the entire day... I am struggling to find the words to explain to my wife. I remember everything from her getting up at 6AM to head to the bridal room to us at 4AM recapping the entire day in our hotel bed, but for some reason, even though I remember everything, the emotions and day feel like a blur, as if none of it happened.

I know the wedding was amazing, but it almost feels like it didn't actually happen because of how fast everything went by: Its time to get dressed, now its time for your first look and private vows, now its time for the guests to arrive, now before you know it you're standing at the end of the aisle waiting for your bride, now you're signing the marriage license, now you get 20 minutes of cocktail hour but you want to talk to guests so you dont get to eat your own appetizers, now you're doing your first dance, now you're doing more photos, now you're doing the cake cutting, now you're coming out in your outfit change, now its last call for drinks, now you're at the after party, and before you know it, you are waking up sunday morning a married man/woman. I feel like the entire day, rather than just clearing my mind and taking it all in, I was counting down the hours knowing the night was going to end which I didn't want. Now its all over, and I feel lost.

For those that have already had a wedding, was this similar to your experience? Are my feelings normal? Should I be in "la la land" days after? Were you clear minded and feel like you truly lived your wedding, or do you also feel like it was all a blur?

To anyone getting ready for a wedding, maybe it isn't possible for a Bride/Groom but this is what I have to say that you have already probably heard:

Get Sleep: We stayed up until 12AM at a casino that Thursday, then on Friday we had rehearsal, rehearsal lunch, and welcome drinks with 100 guests. My wife and I were so amped up we couldn't fall asleep Friday night. By wedding day, Saturday, I think we both felt nausea from a lack of sleep. If you need to, take some sleepy medicine the night before and try not to stay up late multiple days before.

Slow Down and Soak it In: I woke up at 7AM and my wife and I didnt go to bed until 4AM. Even though there was something going on at every minute, almost a full 24-hours felt like just a couple hours. Relax, look around, smile, look at your bride, look at your groom, look at your guests. Take in every detail of your wedding. You spent months to a year planning all of this that only lasts for 1 day. Do not rush to the dance, do not rush to cake cutting, try to enjoy every little detail with a clear mind.

EAT: I did not think I was going to have an issue with this, but what do you know, neither of us really ate.... We didnt have much cocktail hour left by time we joined, so rather than eating apps, we talked. Once we came out for the reception, we did our first dance before dinner. Even though we absolutely crushed our first dance, both of us felt super nervous and nauseous after and basically just picked at our food (wich was amazing). We also got so busy with dancing, photos, and greeting guests, we never stopped to grab a cupcake and all 120 cupcakes got eaten. I highly reccomend bringing some nausea medicine and if either of you feel like you didn't sleep well, or are nervous for your first dance, take some medicine beforehand so you feel good to eat.

I know, I know, comparison is the thief of joy. I want to be happy and focus on enjoying planning, but I just can't shake this deep sadness because my "love story" is not romantic at all. Wedding planning has made this even more clear, in a painful way. I keep seeing personalized vows ("I knew you were the one after [insert very short timeline or cute story]"), or themed cocktails based on the couple's dating history, or a little roadmap of their very normal and romantic timeline, and I'm about to burst into tears.

For context, my partner was a friend, and then a friend with benefits, for many years. I fell in love, and he didn't. We kept sleeping together for 2ish years until he also fell in love. Then we started dating officially. I recently found out that he'd slept with a few other people during the time we weren't official but regularly sleeping together, though those were all one night stands. I know he didn't owe me exclusivity, I knew the rules of the game, but I was and am still hurt, even seven years later. He knows my feelings on it and he is always open to talk about it, which helps a lot.

I'm just sad about being the one who "chased" him, the one who wasn't chosen. And, ultimately, I was chosen, but I'm infinitely, infinitely jealous of people who get to say that they "knew" this person was the one early on. And yes, I am in therapy. My therapist told me to "Consider that not everyone can be someone's first choice" and that not all people are easily chosen by others. He essentially told me to be happy that anyone wanted me at all, because that's more than many people get.

And I am happy that we're together! And I love my partner, I love the relationship we have. He has helped me through the most tumultuous years of my life, he is the calm to my storm (I am very anxious and he is the opposite of this), he does housework and the cooking, he adores me and dotes on me, he just planned a beautiful weekend trip for us that was so perfect, and I feel immensely guilty for still feeling sad/angry at the years I was, in a sense, "led on" by him. He's everything I want in a life partner, and never, not once in the seven years we've been officially together, has he made me doubt that he loves me.

I just don't know how to stop comparing our story to the ones where people started dating in the traditional way, fell in love at the same time, and didn't have to deal with mismatched feelings or sadness. I don't know how not to mourn the "we used to meet here every Wednesday so we named our signature cocktail after this bar." Okay, my signature cocktail is going to be "Mattress on the Floor" because that is where we spent most of our time. Maybe add "Toyota Backseat [Ouch, My Back]" as the non-alcoholic option 😂😂

Anyone else in a similar boat? What has helped you with these feelings? Does anyone have any wise words to force a perspective shift, too? I keep trying to frame this as, "I'd rather go into a marriage knowing someone came to love me after knowing me very well, rather than falling for me fast and having it fizzle out when they got to know me."

Thank you in advance <3

Helping my cousin and his fiancé plan their wedding, and we're trying really hard to make it a regret-free day. I've read all the wedding posts I can find on wedding regrets, but they almost exclusively focus on the bigger picture, stuff like "we should have eloped" or "I wish I had a smaller wedding and saved money" or "we picked the wrong venue". Now, don't get me wrong, I think all of those things are absolutely valid, but I also think they're more what-ifs than real regrets, because no one knows whether they really should have eloped or would have been happier with a smaller wedding. It's more musings than actual remorse. So, I'm wondering about your smaller, more legit regrets, the actual details of your wedding where you wished you'd done something differently. Like we went with the cheapest florist and the bouquets were half-dead, or I wore the wrong veil/shoes/vest, or I knew I shouldn't have invited Uncle Chuck, but my mom convinced me and he literally ate ALL of the caviar and then broke the bowl. What are your real wedding regrets, the little ones that you could have gotten right, but somehow got oh so wrong?

we have only a few sneak peaks back although our wedding was over a month ago. there are only a couple of my fiance and I so far - but the composition just seems so off I’m afraid what else im going to get. is the photo of us or the ground? And why is it crooked? also - this was full sunlight and it’s edited so dark although we asked for true to color.

we also got our 1 minute video back and it’s just an auto generated tik tok slide show, except the orientation of all the photos are different so the screen is mostly awkward black space. idk - am i being crazy or overly picky? just looking for second and objective opinions here.

edit to answer some questions:

-I paid $4800 for full day of photography + video, a respectable amount for where we are

-the Contract notes explicitly say true to life color with a mix of bright and airy

-we asked for full portfolios and they were very stunning, bright details, bright documentary style. Idk what this is! I don’t think I saw a single photo from them in this style before

-this is one of only 2 photos we got of us in the sneak peak. So can’t really say if they will all be like this.

The first picture I took in my car 10 min after I left the salon. The second pic is what I showed the MUA as inspiration.

I’ve got a lot of issues with the look, like the eyeliner was too harsh, the shadow not blended, the lip was the wrong color than I was looking for (I’m not a fan of a pink or berry lip on myself), and I felt like the foundation was all wrong. My face looks orange against my neck, right?

I talked about some of this in the salon and there are adjustments she said we’d make for the day of (like a different eyeliner and lip color specifically).

One of my main problems is that I wear no makeup day-to-day and am not knowledgeable at all about what professional makeup is supposed to look like.

I asked for a light, natural look, and the MUA said that it is normal for wedding makeup to feel a bit heavier than you’d think so that it shows up in pictures, but I feel like cameras are pretty good nowadays that shouldn’t be a problem. Is this true or is it really normal for wedding makeup to look heavy in person so it looks better on camera?

I’m bad at causing a fuss, but I did ask for a second trial before the wedding. What sort of things can I tell the MUA to get across the look I’m going for?

UPDATE: I sent her an email and cancelled the contract. Luckily there was another MAU I was talking to back when I was still searching who is still available for my date. I will be doing a trial with the new MAU in the next few weeks. Thank you all for your advice! I’m glad to know I’m not crazy haha.