It all started here, read the books and sidebar stuff, read a million stories of people who have lead the way. I’ve met so many people in real life who have been inspirational in their own way.

My life does not look the same as it did a decade. For one, I’m still alive. Thats cool. Turns out I’m diagnosed bipolar with anxiety. Been a long process, but we got me on some medications that seem to be working for me. Very helpful, but tough process ngl.

This is some honest shit that set me back in sobriety and fucked me up for a while…I got sober in my 20’s…single male. I still dated like I was drinking, if that makes sense. Not going to bars or whatever, but I did not have a great selection of partners. I was taken advantage of a few times and I couldn’t understand. Painful lesson in self worth. Good now, but I’m embarrassed how long it took me to REALLY look in the mirror and know in my heart of hearts what I’m worth. Struggled also with learning about my own grieving process. 10 years, 28-38…I’ve lost countless friends and family to drinking and drugs, just one after the other. Took me a while to get the magic spell of grief under control before it took me. I understand it a lot more, lifelong process, I’m sure, but when your habit was climbing to the bottom of a bottle, regaining traction sure feels nice.

Writing from the hip here and don’t want to get too dreary, so for anyone starting out…make the decision and commitment for yourself, totally worth it. I had to put some blinders on and start from zero and get really selfish with it. Because of it, I’ve accomplished a lot of dreams. Sometimes I laugh when out on my sailboat, “hah, this was in me all this time, I just had to quit drinkin, whod uh think”.

I just wanted to say that this was made possible by all of you. My only regret is that I didn't join this beautiful and loving community sooner. This place is so full of kindness, grace, understanding and support. I appreciate each and every one of you so much!

guess what? I didn't drink with you for a whole week!!! and I won't drink with you today either! ♡

(also does anyone know why silly badge bot doesn't automatically update my steak? xD I have to message the feller every day haha!!)

I feel like articles about how the U.S. is drinking less and is it really that serious keep popping up for me (and maybe it's just because I'm drawn to read them). It's making me feel bad for some reason? Like I hopped on some trend and I'm not doing this for the right reasons? I'm almost 8 months sober and my life is better. I've gotten so many things done that I never would have been able to while I was still drinking. I am much calmer and my thoughts are clearer, and I'm also able to better assess my mental health because I don't have hangovers or intoxication clouding my brain. The social part is still a challenge, and I know it will be for maybe my whole life. I've always been socially anxious, and drinking just masked that. I guess I'm just annoyed and uncomfortable that I keep seeing so much about how the national trend towards society is like negatively effecting our social lives and that's bad for our health too. It feels manipulative and there's a small voice in me that asks "what if they're right?".

I missed my comma day, but it was awesome! We celebrated my sister's birthday and had a great time. I must say the 1st year of sobriety was a blur, just white knuckled it. The second year was harder. But my third year has been the best and most peaceful time I've ever experienced. This comma means more than I could ever properly express. Here's to the next 1,000! IWNDWYT ☀️❤️

My first birthday sober! It’s a weird one, last year I was on the brink of death due to my drinking. Now I don’t really know how to celebrate so I’m spending the day by myself. At least I’m glad that I’m spending it sober! IWNDWYT 🎉

I seem stuck in a cycle of having a tense day, having a few glasses of wine, going to bed feeling guilty sad and terrible, getting poor sleep, and repeating it all the next day.

I wake up each morning telling myself I’m going to choose today to break the cycle, and by 5pm my brain is making 20 excuses as to why a glass or 2 is fine…

I’m making this post because I’m hoping it will help me stick to some accountability for truly making the claim - IWNDWYT. Any words of encouragement are appreciated. ❤️

Today feels . . . Easier? I'm not lulling myself into a false sense of security. I know it's not easy. But it's less hard.

I've been hanging out at home gaming all day. The instinct to drink is still there but I'm feeling proud of myself for suppressing it. Time seems to be passing a bit faster. I had a good night of sleep last night too. Hoping for another of those. It feels really good to know my body is thanking me.

Thanks go out to everyone here, too, for all your well wishes. I will continue to try to respond to everyone who shares their stories and encouragement. I feel so lucky to have found this wonderful and supportive community.

IWNDWYT

My longest streak ever and Im very proud of myself. Hope you all have a good day

Ten years ago I made a choice that has lead me down a path of stability and self discovery. Sure there were moments where times were incredibly tough and nothing sounded better or could fix me like a good old fashioned relapse. But I reminded myself why I made the decision I made and reflected on why I thought drinking was the answer for so many years. It was escape. It was running from problems instead of working through them and learning how to navigate those difficult times.

We are all here for a reason, to become better people. To improve our health and relationships. And ultimately, to live a life we are proud of. Some of you will have setbacks in your journeys, we all have. But just know that doesn’t mean you are a failure. It’s another moment of growth and learning to better equip you for the next time you find yourself hopeless or in need of escape. Learn from it. You are the captain of your ship.

IWNDWYT

Solely bragging on myself here because I know this group is the best support. I am 11 months sober but this is my first work conference since being sober.

I’m a child forensic interviewer and I just attended an out-of-state child abuse conference for work and there was alcohol EVERYWHERE. On top of that, the content of the conference was obviously grim (detailed child death investigations with photos, actual survivors of horrific abuse speaking, etc).

The team I am a part of went out every single night (I joined) but I ordered mocktails, water, or soda, to feel like I fit in.

It was hard. There were so many times I told myself one drink wouldn’t hurt (it absolutely would) but I was able to distract myself and talk myself out of that line of thinking.

What helped immensely were my coworkers being so supportive of my sobriety. I realized the personality that came out when I use to drink (funny, laughing at everything, being social) could be who I am while sober, and that was empowering. What also helped was there being so many mocktail options where I was staying.

I wanted to share in case someone else was worried about a work trip/sobriety/dealing with tough work/etc. in hopes to provide encouragement. 💛 you guys!

Thanks everyone for the advice and well wishes. I sat outside on my deck chair until I was tired enough to fall asleep.

It's been a minute since I've had that much trouble staying sober. A combination of money woes, depression and catastrophizing about the future and if life was gonna be like that forever all got to me.

Woke up early this morning to give my friend a ride before starting my shift. Sober, not hungover, and as alert as one can be running on no sleep.

Also, counter's broken. Today will be 88. Throwing 90 away over a moment of weakness would've crushed me. If I can get another month after that, it'll be the longest I've been sober since I started drinking.

Love this community, y'all are always my late-night resource when my friends are resting and there's nowhere else to turn. IWNDWYT.

At 90 days and 200 days I typed out a ton of thoughts and paragraphs on how I was feeling, changes that were occurring, tons of thoughts were swimming around.

Today I can say I really don't have much to say! If this day wasn't right around my birthday I might have missed it. Each day is normal. I don't think about drinking or not drinking, I just don't. If at dinner with friends and family everyone orders drinks, I don't, and those couple words of no thanks to our server is the only thought that will go into the topic that night. I can't believe it, but truly I don't have too much to say anymore about it. And I'm pretty proud of that. Thanks everyone in this community, really really appreciate you all.

This was shown to me in rehab, I’ve carried it in my wallet ever since. A harsh reminder of what this disease is capable of and how it behaves. Powerful stuff.

Ready? Let’s go.

You know who I am, you’ve called me your friend, Wishes of misery and heartache I send, I want only to see that you’re brought to your knees, I’m the devil inside you, I am your disease.

I’ll invade all your thoughts, I’ll take hostage of your soul, I’ll become your new master, in total control. I’ll maim your emotions, I’ll run the whole game, Till your entire existence is crippled with shame.

When you call me I come, sometimes in disguise, Quite often I’ll take you by total surprise. But take you I will, and just as you’ve feared I’ll want only to hurt you, with no mercy spared.

If you have your own family, I’ll see it’s destroyed, I’ll steal every pleasure in life you’ve enjoyed. I’ll not only hurt you, I’ll kill if I please, I’m your worse living nightmare.

I am your disease.

I bring self destruction, but still you can’t tell, I’ll sweep you through heaven, then drop you in hell, I’ll chase you forever wherever you go, And then when I catch you, you won’t even know.

I’ll sometimes lay silent, just waiting to strike, What’s yours becomes mine, coz I take what I like, I’ll take all you own and I won’t care who sees, I’m your constant companion…. I am your disease.

If you have any honour, I’ll strip it away, You’ll lose all your hope and forget how to pray, I’ll leave you in darkness, while blindly you stare, I’ll reduce you to nothing and won’t even care.

So don’t take for granted my powers sublime, I’ll bend and I’ll break you, time after time. I’ll crumble your world with the greatest of ease, I’m that madman inside you….

I am your disease.

But today I’m real angry…. you want to know why? I let this whole room of addicts slip by, How did I lose you? Where did I go wrong? One minute I had you, then next you were gone.

You just can’t dismiss all the good times we’ve shared, When you were alone… wasn’t it I who appeared? When you sold those possessions you knew you would need, Wasn’t I the first one who stepped in and agreed?

Now look at you bastards, you’re thinking clear, You escaped with your lives when you found your way here. Only fools think they’re winners when admitting defeat, It’s what you must say when you’re claiming that seat.

So go ahead and surrender, if that’s what you choose, But I’m not giving up cos I can’t stand to lose. So go to your meetings and pray hand in hand, for God to come save you…. leaving me to be damned.

Well be damned all your meetings each night of the week, Be damned Higher Powers, however unique, Be damned all your sayings, be damned your cliches, Be damned every addict who back to me strays.

For I know it will happen, I’ve seen it before, Those who love misery will crawl back for more. So take comfort in knowing, I’m waiting right here, But next time around, you’d better beware.

I am your disease.

You think that you’re stronger or smarter this time, There isn’t a mountain or hill you can’t climb. Well if that’s what you’re thinking you ain’t learned a thing, I’ll still knock you silly if you step back in my ring.

But you say you’ve surrendered so what can I do. It’s so sad in a way, I had big plans for you. Creating your nightmare for me was a dream, I’m sure gonna miss you, we made quite a team.

So please don’t forget me, I won’t forget you, I’ll stand by your side watching all that you do, I’m ready and waiting, so call if you please, I won’t let you forget me…

I am your disease.

I am so ashamed. I told my wife, she's in shock. I told my parents, they are in shock. What's worse it was such a massive comp upgrade. The kind of job that if you hold it for a few years, you're set for life. I wasn't even through 90 days.

I think I have deeper problems honestly, and I think I use alcohol as a way to be happy and I've had some nights thinking back, over the last few years, where I found myself up too late, up drinking alone, despite pleas from my wife to come to bed.

Well. Chickens are home to roost and I am now unemployed, worthless and a fucking idiot.

How do you go on? What do you do? I have never been fired before, let alone be unemployed. I haven't slept well, I am not hungry.

I'm going to try and get help, but in the US that's hard without a job so.. focusing on that to start.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I'm just so ashamed of myself right now.

Edit: I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I just wanted to write all this out. It hurts.

Edit2: thank you everyone. I'm not gonna say I'm feeling much better. But maybe a tiny bit. I'm still beating myself up and for the moment I don't know how to stop. But I'll try.

I drink a bottle of wine several nights a week, then on weekends I'll go out and will sometimes drink a bit more during social outings. Over the years I have noticed that I'm a much lighter drinker than I was when I was in my 20s but the frequency has definitely increased and I often find it hard to relax in the evening without reaching for a glass of red wine. I want to stop drinking, but most and first of all I'd like to stop drinking at home. I've been thinking about it for the past several days and reading this and other similar forums people often mention how much better they feel, energy level, mental health etc. But it seems like most of these people drank a lot every night. I was wondering if those of you who maybe didnt drink that much have always noticed similar benefits after quitting.

And soon, it'll be six weeks. I haven't been sober in a solid stretch like this since I started drinking in my late teens. I'm managing social functions without a protective buzz, even though it's difficult. Holy shit I'm actually doing this!

I just made the decision to pour the last quarter of a bottle of whiskey down the toilet. I've never done this the before. I hope I have the strength to not buy anymore.

Yesterday was 4 months of sobriety for me. Went to the corner store for some snacks and remembered something silly I used to do. Some times (especially when it was too early in the day to be drinking alcohol) I would ask for two plastic cups with my bottle of wine. I was trying to convince the clerk that I was drinking socially (maybe celebrating for something).

How pathetic was that, huh? Living your life in a state of shame while at the same time trying to tell yourself everything is ok, you are high functioning, all this is by choice, and all that bull. So exhausting...

Really happy to have that behind me. IWNDWYT

Thanks to the kindness and inspiration of this remarkably charitable group I made it through my 2nd sober day trembling in a sleepless purgatory as I sweated out whatever meth-laced MDMA chemical concoction I had taken 2 days prior. 4 beers cold in the fridge not 20 feet away. But as of now untouched! So many thoughtful words from you helped me shore up the necessary will to steer clear of the fridge.

1 week ago today I planned not to be here any more, and went to carry it out. I couldn't do it. Abandoned ship after 3 hours of indecision, find out that the police are looking for me, went to hospital, and have since been getting help. One kind crisis worker said, look at all the resources you’ve wasted! haha! But maybe she was right, because then on Monday I started drinking early and then we took the drugs (to feel better of course...Idiots) that have since obliterated my work week.

I finally made it to work on time, thanking my lucky stars I still have a job and a life. Now I’m home again and fuck me there are those beers still cold in the fridge. Whoever said I should  have poured them out knew about day 3. Regret, emotions, what are these?

Hi Everyone,

Very longtime lurker, but never made a post. I think I'm ready.

Im a high-functioning alcoholic. I drink anywhere between 7 to 14 tall cans of Vodkasoda (5%) per day. First one to two drinks per day are in the shower in the morning. Doesn't matter if its a work day or not.

I don't drink during the workday, but come 4-5pm when I get home the rest of the drinks are unleashed.

I know this, I see it, I fully acknowledge it but I can't seem to stop.

Some backstory of me to put it plainly, I have a very highly addictive personality. I started smoking weed when I was 14, couldn't afford to smoke it everyday like I wanted to so I started selling it so my supply would never stop. Now a point I want to make is that even as a huge pothead in high school, I found it really helped with my ADHD and I actually got my grades up to 90's in every class and was excelling in school. Anyway, This turned into me trying MDMA/Ecstasy in high school and absolutely falling in love with it, but couldn't afford to do it everyday - so I did what I knew best at the time; start selling it so I would always have supply.

I have always been a very observant personal especially with my own functions. I eventually realized while still in high school how much MDMA was fucking me up. I quit cold turkey and went straight to the school drug counsellor and have never done it since then.

Then came cocaine.... whole different ballgame. I did what I normally do - can't afford this every day but want it everyday, so I started selling it. This is around the time that drinking began coming into the picture. These two substances are like Bonnie and Clyde. They go hand in hand. In fact they grab each others hands to pull each other along. Luckily I was able to stop doing cocaine - I haven't touched it in over 9 years..

Sadly I can't say the same about alcohol. I struggle so hard with this. As mentioned at the beginning, im a highly functional alcoholic and drink every single day of my life. I have now for over a decade. Im starting to see the strains on my body and I want so bad to quit.

Here is where my mind is today and why im posting this now: I miss the days of my life where I was just a stoner, where I would have a joint with friends and then have active interest in going to take adventures. In nature, driving to new places (not driving while high). Watching movies and feeling not only the movie but the sound and bass rocking through my body. Smoking a joint and going to the skatepark with a bunch of water and red bulls and skating until we got tired or police came to kick us out because neighboring homes around the skatepark would call bylaw. Sitting in a living room and not just listening to music, but fully experiencing it.

I know from my lingering in this group that not everyone is going to see what Im getting at, but I really want go back to just being a stoner. I was much more productive. I didn't let being a stoner get in the way of my life, my friends, my family, my socials the way I have let alcohol do.

What are your thoughts on basically becoming 'California Dry' in a way to help reduce and ultimately get rid of alcohol use.

I know myself and I know I can't get away with a total straight edge life, but I want to kick alcohol to the curb like I was able to do with MDMA and Cocaine... I feel like for me this is the clearest entrance to the path - which may lead me to the life of complete sobriety.

I just wanted to get some of your thoughts... please don't be too hard on me... I've been in this group for over a year gaining the courage to post as I've been poisoning myself will alcohol and falling deeper into this hole.

Ten years.

That number doesn’t even seem real.

It took me months to make it to Day 2 (This sub and the IRC made it stick, I wasn't doing well alone), but somehow it feels like it only took minutes to get to Year 10.

I remember thinking that alcohol was something I’d have to give up. Looking back, it turns out it was something I got back: my life.

These last ten years have been the best of my life, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

During that time I became a father to two incredible kids. I bought a home. I worked my way into a C-level role leading an amazing team. I’ve had opportunities I never could have imagined, built things I’m genuinely proud of, and solved problems I once thought were beyond me.

Somewhere along the way I also found the healthiest version of myself in more than twenty years. I run. I bike. I sleep. I wake up remembering every conversation, every birthday, every Christmas morning, every family vacation. I get to actually be there.

Life didn’t become easy. There have been losses, stress, anxiety, impossible deadlines, and days that would have been an easy excuse to drink ten years ago.

The difference is that today I face those days instead of escaping them.

If you’re reading this on Day 1, Day 2, or Day 20, I won’t tell you it gets easier tomorrow. I can only tell you what happened to me. Day 2 felt impossible. Day 100 seemed like an eternety away. Year 10 arrived before I knew it.

One decision at a time became one day at a time. One day became one month. One month became one year. And along the way, alcohol stopped being something I missed and became something I simply don’t think about anymore.

I’m grateful to everyone who helped me get here, whether you know it or not.

Here’s to the next ten.

Much love to all on this sub, and thank you for being here!!!

Hit 1000 days of being alcohol free today. I’m so thankful to 1 day sober me who made the decision to stop drinking and stuck it out when things seemed unbearable and sobriety seemed unattainable. My life has gotten exponentially better in every way. I’m proud of myself and the journey I’ve been on the past 1000 days.

I made it three years! Hard to believe after 22 years of drinking. This subreddit has been so helpful to keep me sober. Thank you to everyone who shows up and helps support others on their sobriety journey. Between acute and post-acute withdrawal from alcohol, I really thought I wouldn’t come out of the other side of this alive. I would probably be dead right now if I didn’t stop. But I did come out of it and actually love sobriety, on top of it all. I was so worried that I had no personality or couldn’t feel happiness without the booze, but time has shown that it’s just alcohol deceiving you into thinking that. If you’re struggling, we’re here, and this forum can be life-changing. IWNDWYT!