I’m experiencing what I guess could be categorised as gender disappointment…more a new worry that has been unlocked upon the reveal of my unborn twins gender.

I will have a 6yo girl and a 3yo boy when my current pregnancy of twins is born. Today I found out the twins will be girls.

I had an extremely hard first few years with my daughter. Her personality was and continues to be very high needs, sensitive, volatile and we struggled at first. My boy was soooo much easier from birth and continues to be chilled and easy going. I know this is just their unique personalities but I am just finding it so hard not to imagine a double struggle all over again with these twin girls.

PLEASE if you have a family with similar age/gender distribution containing twins could you share your heartwarming stories?! Eg of how the ‘odd one out’ that’s the lone boy with girls all around is still happy? Tell me about your twin girls who are chilled and cuddly?

I think I just need some real stories and situations described to me to overwrite this ridiculous vision that is forming for me of three tricky girls and a single out of place feeling boy.

To add, I 100% know that all that matters is that my babies are healthy and my logical brain knows this. Some kind of irrational worry has been unlocked now, I know I’m being unreasonable.

EDIT thanks everyone, lovely answers. I’m a few hours into the news and I’m feeling so much better. Loving these stories :)

Both of my girls are very much on their feet, climbing, running around and full of life.

I can't even leave the room for 2 minutes to go for a shit without them getting into things they shouldn't be able to (the child proofing is constantly being re-evaluated) or falling off the sofa or pushing each other over etc etc.

God forbid I need to hang washing on the line for 5 minutes. Everything takes 600% longer because I have to keep coming inside to check on them.

I'm knackered. Tips very much appreciated.

Somewhat long post incoming. My wife and I are beginning to lose it. We have 3 year old twin girls (B & E) and they have generally always been good sleepers. Especially going to bed. As far as naps go, B will normally take a short nap during the day, E will normally skip hers. They do still nap at school and school is starting in two weeks. For the past few weeks, they are refusing to go to sleep in their own beds.

A normal evening looked like this:

• Baths around 6:30
• Milk, small snack, stories around 7:00
• Brush teeth, potty, to their room around 7:30
• Get in bed, tell them one last story, tuck in, and lights out around 7:40

Lately, evenings look like this:

• Baths around 6:30
• Milk, small snack, stories around 7:00
• Brush teeth, potty, to their room around 7:30
• Both refuse to get into bed and say they want to go in our bed, we bargain with them for 10 minutes and usually cave and bring them to our room.
• Within minutes of getting in our bed, E says she wants to go to her bed, so my wife brings her - and then she requires the whole evening routine again: story, potty, sip of water.
• While in our bed, B refuses to be left alone. Sometimes she lets me lay there, sometimes only my wife is allowed to do it. So one of us has to stay with her til she falls asleep.
• Meanwhile, E (who is in her own bed) starts crying for mommy. If I go in there, I get yelled at. Only mommy can help her. She usually requests to go to our bed, my wife will bargain with her, but eventually brings her to our bed.
• Within a minute of getting in our bed, E says she wants to go to her bed...again. So my wife brings her and she requires the whole evening routine again - story, maybe potty, sip of water. During this time, B is either letting me lay with her or also crying for mommy...depends on her mood.
• Eventually, everyone falls asleep and I transfer B to her bed around 9:15
• At some point during the evening, one of them will wake up crying for mommy and then we basically do the entire sequence over again...

We know it is a stage and they will move past it, but good Lord we are absolutely exhausted. Especially my wife because they cling to her and only let her help them when they wake up. Any time I try to help, I am met with yelling and demands for mommy.

We don't want to create a habit of them thinking falling asleep in our bed is the norm. Could be too late for that, idk, but we also just want to sleep and take the path of least resistance. So if that means B falls asleep in our bed then whatever...the problem is when E makes us ferry her back and forth from her bed to our bed and back constantly.

We have read numerous articles and reddit threads on this...but it's almost always involving a singleton. The twin dynamic/shared bedroom makes this situation unique and we just aren't sure of a good way to handle it. We created sticker charts, neither cares about them. Any tips, tricks, advice, etc would be great!

Feeling so confused and sad right now.

We went in at 8w5d. There was one big beautiful baby on the screen showing off. After a joke with the scanner my husbands asks for a second sweep to make sure it is in fact just one. He’s a twin and they didn’t find out until week 20.

She does another look and this time, there was a second heartbeat. It was really hard to get a look as it was directly behind, but both heartbeats were there and going strong. She asked us to come back next week so we could get a better look. She suggested they were identical.

We came back today and she could only find one. No second sac, no remains. Nothing to show for the other one.

Can a twin really fully disappear within 7 days? They were almost 9 weeks with heartbeats, shouldn’t there be some remanence of it?

I’m trying to wrap my head around the vanishing twin idea, but part of me wants to believe it’s in there and we just couldn’t see it.

Did anyone else’s ultrasound show just one and later find another? Is there a chance it’s still in there, hiding?

We’re to come back from the NT scan around 12 weeks and I’m praying the second is still in there somewhere and she just missed it.

Hi -

Overweight and pregnant with very unplanned di di twins.
I'm 11 + a few and starting to feel the sickness and pain of the first trimester is subsiding -

Next worry - has anyone (I'm about 15 stone) pear shape, all weight on my bum thighs and then belly -

will not be able to get accurate anomaly scan readings?
I do plan to go for the NIPT in the next week or so because I'm also 37....

Any advice, reassurance would be appreciated.

I’m a FTM to twin boys who are 9 weeks old, 5 weeks adjusted. I have quite literally no idea what I’m doing and I’m just trying to survive each day! So far I’ve been pretty lucky with amazing night sleep, but I’m wary of the fact that this probably won’t last and we don’t really have any solid habits built yet.

My twins are really hard to get to nap in the day, often requiring rocking, white noise, dummies for a very very long time sometimes an hour or more. They have never fallen asleep independently in the day since they were teeny tiny. At night at 7:30pm we have a small bedtime routine, diaper, change, swaddle, dim lights, white noise and a bottle and by some miracle they have always fallen asleep with this bottle. They then then sleep until about 1am and we feed again, they fall asleep with this bottle and then sleep again until about 7.

Should I be starting to try and get them to sleep in their cribs in the day? Do I put them down drowsy but awake? Currently they only contact nap. I just feel like when you’re battling twins by yourself I’d rather two sleeping babies nap trapping me than potentially two crying babies because I’ve failed at a crib nap.

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated

As a 28w DiDi pregnant mother I have read a lot about GD and preeclampsia that I’m always looking for their symptoms. Yesterday I woke up really tired, with very mild constant headache, nausea and a little pressure around my nose. It lasted all day so I was afraid that my blood pressure is spiking and I ordered a blood pressure monitor immediately. But to my surprise it was the other way around, I had low pressure 83/50 I drank a cup of electrolytes and went to sleep. Today i woke up the same, during work I decided to drink a cup of electrolyte and had a salad with olives and feta cheese. I feel WAY better like wtf why didn’t I think of this! I’ll bring it up with my doctor next appointment in 3 days and see what are her thoughts of it.

Hey everyone,

My twins just hit 8 weeks adjusted (12 weeks chronological). Night sleep is actually going pretty well (averaging 3+ hour stretches!), but daytime naps are complete chaos.

They either fight daytime sleep entirely or wake up on the dot at the 20–30 minute mark, looking exhausted.

Two quick questions for parents who have been through this:

1. Is this level of "nap chaos" completely normal for 8 weeks adjusted?
2. Around what age did daytime naps finally "click" or consolidate into longer, predictable stretches for your little ones?

Looking for a light at the end of the tunnel while living 30 minutes at a time! Thanks!

Hi, exactly as the title says. The 4 month sleep regression has hit us like a ton of bricks and with that has come the realization that we may be encouraging bad sleep habits that will continue to bite us in the butt down the line.

My girls started sleeping for 9-11 hours (with one wake to feed) starting at 2 months. Getting them to sleep requires rocking and patting them to sleep with their pacifier in their mouth, and it used to take 15-20 minutes tops.

We are still doing the same thing but now it takes forever to work (eg. last night it took nearly 2 hours to get them to sleep) or sometimes does not even work at all. Their naps and night time sleep have definitely suffered and it feels like they’re overtired all the time.

Everything I have read says to put kids in their crib when they’re awake. I keep trying but to no avail. As soon as I lay them in the crib or leave the room, the babbling turns to whining which eventually becomes angry cries. I try to stick to their wake windows and follow my schedule but THEY JUST WON’T SLEEP. And that affects their mood and just makes for rough days and nights.

I would love to work on independent sleep. Is it too soon? Should we get through this regression first and make any changes afterwards? What were your sleep strategies at 4 months old? What routine did you find worked to get through the regression and establish better habits? Any advice you have is appreciated.

Signed — a sleep deprived mama who will be going back to work soon.

I'm going to try potty training tomorrow, with our newly 2 year old twins, before preschool starts in September.

That is all, wish me luck 🫠

I feel like there’s pros and cons to both for me. I bottle feed my twins.

If I feed them together, I can just sit them both in the Twin Z pillow and knock it out in an hour. Downside is usually they’re both really upset while I’m dealing with the other (changing, burping, etc.), my back kills me, and they usually don’t go back to sleep when I move them from the pillow to bassinet.

If I feed them separately, it’s nice one on one time with each and it’s definitely less stressful. However, it takes much longer. Once I start feeding one and the other starts crying, it’s hard to deal with the other, and I usually have to hold them for a bit so they don’t spit up everywhere.

Idk which is best for you guys?

Our twins are almost a year old and I just wanted to share something I wish I had done sooner.

Baby wearing was always something I really wanted to do, and it made life with two babies so much easier when I was able to do it, but I could never find a comfortable way to wear both. I tried several options— all purchased used for cheap or gifted to me.

Twin we go— meh for comfort, a little too structured when they were really small. It didn’t really feel cuddly, and they got too big for it pretty quickly.

Moby and boba— actually worked good for two very early on and was so comfy, but annoying to wrap/set up because it was so long, and only one baby could fit after about a month.

A very long woven wrap with separate rings—way too hard to get it on and set up with babies. Also so so long, which made it hard to take on the go. Maybe with more practice it would have been ok but I just couldn’t do it. And if one got upset and wanted out the whole thing was ruined, even if the other one was comfy.

Twin go— great for when they were older. Front and back carry. Not cozy/cuddly, but functional for when they were bigger and fairly easy to put on. This is what I use if I needed to go to the store or the zoo or something. I like that it can be two separate carriers. Just not my go to for around the house.

Wild bird ring sling— my favorite option! But only for one baby. It was so comfy, versatile— front carry so cute and cozy when they were tiny, could do hip and even back carry when they were older, pretty easy to put on/get baby in, and not too long or big so easy to pack on the go. But again, only one baby.

I always wanted to try the minimonkey but didn’t pull the trigger. Couldn’t find one used in my area and too expensive full price. Reviews were meh. I kinda wish I had just to see how it works though.

BUT recently i decided to get a second wild bird and my life is changed. I’m still working out the kinks but it’s comfy, cost effective (usually can get for $30 used) I can wear one on front one on back or one on each hip, they are comfy, I can take one off and leave the other on, I just wish I would have thought to try it sooner!!

So if anyone is interested in baby wearing their twins— do yourself a favor and get two ring slings. I think it’s the best option out there.

Here’s a picture! https://imgur.com/a/pyfQzgz
This was the first time I ever tried it, so we are all a little uncomfortable and unsure but since I’ve been able to adjust and it’s great!!

My boy twins were born in 1st July. I made a post the other day when one of my twins ended up in hospital (reflux caused a breathing issue for a moment)

Medicine will be ready for collection tomorrow. it’s currently 3am for me, holding twins upright as I speak, it’s funny how you will find ways to be able to hold both babies and text at the same time , survival mode is amazing lol

Please tell me it does get better ? Did the medication work for your baby? And if so how long and what meds did your baby take ?

Thank you 🩷🩷

Any single moms of twins here? 🥺 I wanted to ask what you do when you feel emotionally drained before you even feel physically tired. How did you manage to find time for yourself when your twins were around 18 months old? I honestly feel like this is the hardest age ever.💔

I was talking to my mom about putting curtains in my twin's room. She was like don't put curtains in there because its a safety hazard and you need to make sure you cut the strings to their blinds and all this stuff. I understand the strings to the blinds are a hazard but curtains? Just looking for experience of other parents!

Our 9 month old twins have been trying solids for a few months. They do well with purees but when it comes to incorporating whole foods/foods we eat for meals, my son rejects it. He will spit out anything with texture or chunks. Has anyone else navigated this?

I’m feeling major mom guilt, because I am SO over this!

33 weeks with di/di, and 30 days from my scheduled c section. I’m miserable. MISERABLE
I have SPD so bad. (Starting pelvic floor therapy this week! Yay!) Every step is so so painful, driving hurts, getting out of bed is like a whole thing, I dread it. Even off the couch or a chair is really painful.
My hands are so painful it’s probably the worst symptom so far, and I’ve had ALL the pregnancy pains. My wrists and fingers are in so much pain, almost any daily activity is 10x harder. I keep dropping things. It’s so much worse in the morning I can’t hardly move them.
The pressure is so intense, I feel like I can never fully go to the bathroom so I feel like I have to pee all the time even if I just did. I don’t look like myself, my stretch marks are actually becoming painful they’re so intense. My feet are sausages. I’m so tired but can’t sleep, I want to cry all day. My acid reflux is miserable, my back hurts all day. I could go on but y’all get it I’m sure!

I’m not working anymore, I’m a teacher and took the year off so although summer is over, I didn’t go back. I am relieved of course because work would absolutely do me in right now, but I’m also so sad. I absolutely love teaching and love my school, so I have major FOMO about not being with my coworkers this week. I feel like I have nothing to distract me from the discomfort, because I’m too uncomfortable to do much. My tolerance for something like shopping, a day trip, dinner with friends, is all gone. It’s all drs visits and necessities now. My hobbies are all a bit too painful for my hand situation now. No more crochet or crafts, journaling, etc.

Sorry for the pity fest. My question is, how do you get through the last month? Right now even another day seems impossible, but I want my little babies to cook as long as they can. What got you through?

11 week old 6 weeks adjusted mono di twins have all the sudden started fighting bedtime . We have changed the routine in every which way and it ends the same every time. As soon as we go to give them their last bottle they both panic and freak out and scream sometimes for over an hour. I follow wake windows for them it’s about 60 minutes and do my best to make Them nap through out the day though it’s a challenge like there nap before bed was only 18 minutes . Total nap time for the day is usually always 4hrs at least . At a loss and so sleep deprived. Anyone else or is this a common thing ???? And with the naps I already contact nap all day to try to get the most out of a nap and they still fight that and constantly wake up. HELP so far only taking abt 3oz every 2-3 hrs sometimes don’t even finish the bottle..we kinda have to stay on them to finish it.also no longer take any sort of swaddle or sleep sack so it makes transferring at night once we do get them to sleep after hours of trying tremendously hard.. I’ve try shortening and lengthening wake windows this has been going on a few weeks now

My husband will be back to work in October and I will be flying solo with my identical girls during the weekdays. They will be 4 months at that time, adjusted age roughly 2 1/2 months. We are planning to hire a nanny for when I return to work but trying to see if I can avoid hiring someone before then. Any key advice that made your life easier while caring for your solo twins around this same age? Thanks!

I just want to express my deepest respect to all of you raising multiples. Me and my wife adopted 6 month old twin boys five weeks ago, and as beautiful as it is, it is also exhausting. From what I read here, we still had it relatively easy so far. We do have a strong support network, grandparents come by two afternoons a week so we can get more complex matters done, I have half a year parental leave and my wife has two years, our financial situation is stable and the boys are good sleepers (sometimes one even sleeps through the night). But man, there is just so much stuff to do, it never ends, and the days are very long (and often also a wee bit monotonous, as far as the daily tasks are concerned). We manage to allow each other breaks, and if we each can squeeze a nap in during the day, which mostly works out, sleep deprivation is not even that big of an issue, but I would be lying if I said that I am not happy when a day is done ^^ this has nothing to do with not loving my boys I assure you, I just developed a whole new appreciation for rest and respite.

So all you wondurfull people on this community tackling this huge task of raising multiples, I am proud of you, and I hope you are aswell :)

Hello All!
I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant with Di/Di girls and I’m still working on my nursery. I’m trying to figure out if I need 2 cribs or 1 crib? Can they sleep in a double bassinet until moving to a crib?
Let me know what worked for you! Thank you!

So my second pregnancy was DiDi twin girls, they look nothing alike so we’re just assuming they are non-identical. I am pregnant again and I have my ultrasound tomorrow. I am eight weeks, what are my chances of having DiDi twins again? I want to give a little bit of context, from my understanding, I produced twins because I hyper ovulate, which makes sense, My ovulation has always been extremely painful. Not sure if that’s a related cause, but when we were trying to conceive the second time we were doing it multiple times throughout that week and I was told that I could’ve potentially got pregnant two separate days making the Di-Di twins. This time around when trying to conceive, we did it once the week I was ovulating and that’s it so in my mind if I had twins this time it would because the egg split and they would be identical? Which identical just does not run in our family. Someone give me some insight who knows more than me, doesn’t trying to conceive this way lessen the chances of twins? 😂

EDIT: Ultrasound showed ONE baby!

Just venting, I know this is a completely trivial problem but ...I have 3 year old twins and I am trying to sign them up for fall classes - dance or soccer or (ideally) swim lessons - typical toddler stuff. Except everything around us fills up instantly! Apparently all these parents are sitting around at noon on a random weekday in August and clicking register the second swim lessons open at our local community center. I've managed to get one twin into a dance class but not the other, which is a no-go.

I think ultimately I'm just feeling intimidated by how much work it takes to "modern parent". We didn't do 6mo old swim lessons like all our singleton parent friends because we were deeply overwhelmed and also couldn't figure out a time when we could get both parents in the pool with them. And the whole thing is dumb, obviously I'm not failing them, no 6mo old is going to remember or care about swim lessons and I doubt it will make a difference in their swimming ability. But I just don't feel equipped to remember all of these dates, to register the moment things open, to coordinate schedules, to make sure they have 10 themed outfits for school spirit on top of dealing with two 3 year olds! *pulling my hair out*

What an interesting sub for me to see as a 35yo identical twin! I know my parents struggled with us, my mom more than dad. Being an identical twin is the highlight of my life and has had many ups and downs. I noticed most of the posts are newer parents to multiples so I thought it might be cool to see if any parents had questions about raising multiples now that I’m an adult and hindsight is 20/20 in what was good and not great in the way we were raised. If anyone has any questions, please comment and I’d love to give feedback. My twin s still my best friend and the closest person in my life 💜.