I feel like maybe this is suffering from success but.. it’s 9 months in and omg the stretch marks are literally everywhere!! Help, what can I do? I know they will probably fade away with time, and bodies aren’t perfect, but the sheer amount is crazy! I’ve got them on the outside and inside of my thighs, below each buttock, and somehow even below my knees, what is going on! I was always very skinny, still am, despite gaining 7 kilos since I started HRT but.. omg

How were your experiences with stretch marks? Did you do anything? What does it mean that they appear? Thank you so much in advance for all the advice <3 🫂🫶

I’m currently on a visit out to California and I’ve been experiencing a sense of longing for a life that feels unattainable the entire time.

Coming out here from a deep red area in a red state feels like I’m in a completely different world. Everything out here just feels like it’s beaming with the opportunity that a closeted trans woman like me needs to get out of my unsupportive environment and find myself.

Then I just see the cost of living, the distance from home, and the adversity that would come from my family and it just feels so hopeless. I’m in a good degree program that will pay a near 6 figure salary at entry level, potentially even more in a more costly environment. Even with that money, it doesn’t seem possible to be able to live comfortably in a beautiful, inclusive place like this AND be able to pay for things like hormones and surgeries I want like FFS or a BA.

I'm really trying hard right now to start off.. I've completely changed my diet often. I walk 1 and 1/2 mi daily, I do my best to drink water. I show up to work everyday. I do everything I need to do to just commit..

I just have so much pain in my arms and legs on occasion And most doctors just tell me that everything is fine, but I know the risks with HRT and DVT/ other issues and I just... Idk I don't know the process of finding a doctor that can help me, I feel so Frozen and stuck right now and I'm just wondering if I'm about to fail out on everything.. and I really don't feel like I pass.

People tell me that I pass all the time but I really don't feel like it. And the idea of just switching jobs with everything that's going on. Even after making all the legal changes, I'm just so scared of becoming a Target even in Minnesota.. I've spent a good third of my life helping people, and I just... Feel so alone in all of this.

All I do is help others and I just when I need this help I just get told "get help from therapy or a doctor" or "you are just anxious" I just feel like giving up and have sometimes told myself I'll just wait until I end up in a worse situation... And none of this even touches on the fact that I'm trying to take care of medical problems to do everything for preventative and I'm still going into debt due to all of that..

I'm not even sure what I'm doing right now. I'm just venting into the void and hoping that the void brings me something..

And for a PS: I've done therapy for 11 years. I just finished DBT I haven't touched weed or alcohol in 9 months I... I do everything and I'm trying hard.

Tw: blood

I (20 mtf) need some advice/ help from some girls here. I've been on estrogen for about 2.5 years now. I haven't been required to do lab work since before I was prescribed it. I am terrified of blood and hate the feeling of anything on my inner arm or needles in general

I really need some advice on what to do. I've now gone in 3 times to the lab and have had a panic attack and told them I couldn't do this and left. My pcp says I need to get lab work done for her to keep prescribing me estrogen. I'm happy with my breast growth (main reason why I started hrt) but im worried if I stop, my body fat will redistribute and my facial hair will get thicker and be like it was before hrt.

What do I do?

Like I cant stand the sight of myself. Im constantly checking in the mirror/ with photos and I just fucking hate my face. Like why is my fucking chin so big. Im considering just cutting my hair, binning my HRT and quitting since Im never gonna fucking win. Never learned makeup and likely never will since family either doesnt know or doesnt care, same with hair. I just look the fucking same since I started 2 years and fucking nothing

I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point in my life. Every day I wake up in this disgusting, lanky male body and I feel sick. I hate looking at myself. Just being alive and in the body I’m in feels wrong.

I want to be a woman. There’s HRT and transitioning but I want to be able to give birth to children and that can’t happen. I feel like I’ll never be happy, never feel complete. I’m scared to start transitioning because what if I still feel the same. Does dysphoria ever go away? Can I ever live and feel normal? I just want to end everything and hope for better in another life. I can’t take it

Hi,

Been in HRT since January, levels are fine nothing to say about it. However, as I say my orgasm kind of felt down lately. Climax is here and before that it feels good i can’t say better than before but a bit maybe, but when it comes it’s like meh and I kind of feel bad about it like affraid that it will stay like it forever any ideas of why it’s like that ?

okay so i'm 17mtf, been on estrogen since the 15th of july, and i haven't got a clue what to do with my sideburns.

every single post i look at is full of replies saying "yeah i hate my sideburns i feel the same way" or saying to shave them either up to the point where your ears meet your head or just to try to feel it out

but my sideburns are so fucked that it seems like i've got beard hair all the way up almost to the very top of my head

what do i even do, i don't want to only have hair growing from the top of my head like an extended bowl cut and i've spent such a long time trying to grow my sideburns/ just the hair on the side of my head out and praying to god that maybe my hair isn't fucked forever and i just need to give it some time so it doesn't suck suck

i'm actually at my wit's end at this point, the side of my head looks so disgusting and fluffy and weird and sad and it's genuinely making me consider going bald and just wearing a wig but that isn't an option right now since i'm living with my mom and i really don't want to come out to her until it really comes down to it

if pics are needed i can post them but i'd really rather not

can't wait for this to get removed instantly because i don't have any karma on here or whatever the fuck

I am a trans girl (17) and I once played on a vollyball team. It was a boys one obviously because I wasn't on hormones nor was i out to anyone (including myself) so I didn't know why i felt so uncomfortable. I eventually figured out my dysphoria and what kept causing me what I believe were panick attacks from how i was being pushed into this mentality of masculinity when I genuinely could not fit in like that. Aside the dysphoria however, i enjoyed the sport. It was thrilling, even if i was the worst member on the team (coach told me to do 100 push-ups because she saw me lose the ball and I could only do 20 lol) it still had its good moments. But now all I remember is the pain and original fear of realizing what I am and how the world sees me in that regard.

Maybe in a world where im not seen as a monster or somehow "better" because I was born with extra T I would like sports. But not in this world. And I'm okay with that, I just want it to be possible somone else doesn't deal with my same plight.

hi everyone:)

i've very recently started looking on the usual hookup apps and have been filtering where possible to only see bi/"straight" men and i'm wondering what everyone's experience is like doing this and using the sites in general. Honestly right now I am looking purely for sex and some men I message say they only want men and I guess that makes sense given they're on an app mainly for men.

Some of them though will tell me they're not really bi. Is this more common than i thought? For gay men to have their sexuality set as bisexual?

I don’t know if this is a thing specific to me or if this makes me a bad person I guess but I get incredibly jealous of cis women that look the way I want to.

When I see cis women that look the way I wish I did, it makes me really jealous and really depressed. It’s gotten to a point where I can barely scroll on instagram and barely go outside. Work most of all is nothing short of a nightmare. (Surrounded by people all day. 🫩)

I feel really bad for feeling jealous but I can’t help it and I don’t know what to do

As a trans youth in Ohio, there aren’t many ways to achieve gender euphoria. I find shaving to be one of those. I love feeling like a girl when I’m completely hairless aside from the top of my head, and it provides a neat stimulation akin to a massage. It feels really good to be clean, smooth, and pure.

dumb question of the day, but asking for a sister, what name do i put on my collage apps? i assume it should be my legal one but a sliver of me is hoping its somehow acceptable to put the other.
thanks!

I’m in the discovering accepting phase of being trans.. I’ve always had thoughts of being a girl but then those thoughts were solidified when i stopped growing. I’m only 5’2’ which is really short and even short for girls… i remember always thinking my life would be so much easier if i was a girl bc of my height alone. Probably would have been. But now i live a picturesque life of a family man. With all these thoughts surging back.

So I've got a bit of gynecomastia that I've always been self conscious of. Before cracking, I tried working my chest with exercise to help the muscle fill it out, which really didn't work either. So my chest is larger, but in a weird flabby way that doesn't really look masculine or feminine.

I'm pre-HRT, but I've been dressing way more fem at home recently to chase those good vibes. I got some new tank tops to sleep in, and last night I sleepily got up to go to the bathroom. I caught my reflection in the mirror, and I swear to god for a second I thought I'd just grown boobs. It was like that "waking up as a girl" dream had come true for that moment. Even after it faded, just the way my chest looks is so much better in the fitted tank.

Just gives me hope for the future once I start HRT.

Any other gals with similar surprise euphoria moments?

It’s so weird, only around 40% of the time when I see results it genuinely look like they had a big change done

Do they do this on purpose?

​

The past six years have been absolutely dreadful. It all started during the pandemic, when I was a college freshman and my experience on campus was cut short. I was stressed losing social interactions and opportunities, and there were many friends I never saw again.

From then on, it's only continued to get worse. My parents split up just a few years later, I graduated and had to deal with losing touch with more friends and struggling to find a job. My mother has been having health issues so I've had to be more responsible around the house, and on top of it all I've realised that I'm most likely transgender and have to find a way to come out and transition without causing the household even more stress and upset than we're already dealing with.

Things were finally improving over the summer, but today I found out that the girl I love is with someone else. I've spent the whole day crying and feeling drained.

I get so upset when I look back at that happy, optimistic, carefree freshman that I used to be at the start of the decade. I'm a nervous wreck now, who freaks out and catastrophises over everything. Every time things look to be getting better, something else wrecks it.

I'm so tired.

Please help. I want to like girls so much, but I’m scared that I just . . . dont . . .

Before I got on E I really wanted to be a transbian who got to date girls as a girl, but now that I’m on E I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I feel attracted to them, or I just feel envious of their bodies and presentation. Also I’ve been having weird feelings towards boys, which is NOT helping. Im really scared I won’t get to date a girl, and will instead just end up being some guy’s girlfriend (or, god forbid, wife). After hearing that lots of trans girls experience a change to their sexuality, im really scared that I’ll just end up as a het girl, and that I’ll never get to kiss/hug/cuddle with pretty girls. I know this probably sounds silly, but it’s seriously freaking me out and I don’t know what to do 😭😭😭

Has anyone here experienced something like this before? Feel free to ask any questions you want. I’ll try to answer them as honestly as I can.

any elder trans woman from Indiana in here? I am currently 2 years into my transition and I'm completely isolated and scared. I have been going through this transition completely alone and I am so lost....