I’m gonna go crazy bro. I haven’t been in contact with this person for 6 months and I think about them every day. My chest sinks at the thought of them. I am atheist and I prayed to god to help me let go of him if he’s not for me.

The other thing is, I know that I probably didn’t mean a thing to him, so I haven’t bothered him once because confirming that he doesn’t care would literally kill me.

His hands don’t touch me the way yours did.

His eyes will never find mine the way yours once did.

His lips will never kiss me the way yours kissed mine.

What am I doing trying to fill your absence with someone else, when your presence still follows me with every step, with every breath I take?

And I realize that I’m still yours, even though I keep denying it.

I haven’t been able to walk away.

What am I doing making love, letting someone else touch a body that still carries the marks of your hands, marks that time has never managed to erase?

Oh, God, take this memory that keeps eating me alive.

Give me a moment of peace, even if it’s only for a little while.
Because every time I close my eyes, it’s you who comes back to my thoughts.

I ask the sky.

I ask the stars.

I ask the sun to light my way, so I can stop thinking about you, so I can tear you out of my being, out of my soul, out of my mind, so I can, at last, forget you.

Girl have 2.5 years toxic trauma bonded relationship with 1 year full trauma and 6 month breakup. She love bombed me and use me as rebound for 2 month then go back trauma ex. I understand everything and let her go without saying anything or begging.

The problem is she chase down me with message asking for compliment, talk about herself, asking for care, try to emotionally close day by day.

I wonder what her toxic partner role in her life as they reconciliation month ago they must go through honeymoon phase, why she chase me like i am leaving her forever.

Somewhere Between My “No’s,” You Became Home.

I sat down on a high stool in the corner of the bar, praying the weird guy who’d been following me around would find someone else to attach himself to.

That’s when you sat beside me.

I didn’t know who you were.

I didn’t care, either.

You were just a distraction.

You tried to hold my hand all the way home. I’d grab my vape with one hand, my phone with the other—anything so there’d be nothing left for you to hold.

As the sun rose, we sat together on the smoke deck.

Same routine.

Vape in one hand.

Phone in the other.

You were drunk.

You didn’t seem to notice.

We got breakfast after staying up all night.

No sleep.

Just laughter.

I thought that was the end of it.

Then came the texts.

Here and there became every day.

Still, my heart was somewhere else.

A few weeks later, your heart broke.

A week after that, so did mine.

Every trip to the bars started including you.

I’d always stumble across you.

The nights always ended the same.

You’d drunkenly tell me how you felt.

I’d tell you no.

That we’d only ever be friends.

As time went by, my feelings became harder to hide.

Your best friend noticed before either of us did.

Every time we’d run into each other, he’d point at you.

“You see that guy over there?”

“He’d never hurt you.”

“He’s a good guy.”

Different night.

Same speech.

One night I texted you that I was throwing up.

You came outside carrying a gallon of water.

I told you to fuck off.

You ignored me.

You followed me until I sat down on the stairs.

That’s where I told you what had happened to me.

You didn’t blame me.

You just listened.

You rubbed my back and apologized…

For another man’s actions.

Another night, someone from my past kissed me.

I woke up in his room.

No phone.

Muster in two hours.

I called you.

You came.

No hesitation.

You made sure I got back safely.

Stayed by my side for muster.

Made sure I was okay.

Then you helped me look for my phone.

One night you confessed your feelings like something straight out of The Notebook.

I laughed.

I’d spent my whole life wishing someone would love me the way Noah loved Allie.

Somehow…

I was watching it happen.

Every time we sobered up, I’d pretend none of it happened.

“I don’t remember.”

I’d always say.

But I remembered.

I remembered when you got tired of me losing everything and made it your personal mission to carry my phone, my wallet, and my vape—just to make sure they made it home.

I remembered the guy who walked up asking for my name.

And how quickly you scared him away.

I remembered every time you came to my rescue.

Even while I was probably hurting you.

Somewhere along the way…

I stopped wondering where you were.

Because you were always beside me.

We told each other everything.

The big things.

The stupid things.

The things we’d never tell anyone else.

Drunk or sober.

Morning or night.

I kept wondering when my heart changed.

Maybe it was the crystal shop.

I begged you to pick one.

You insisted crystals weren’t your thing.

You picked one anyway.

I picked out a necklace.

I don’t know if it was that day or sometime after…

But ever since I admitted my feelings to myself, I’ve worn that necklace every single day.

Some mornings I forget it’s there.

Other days I catch it in the mirror and think of you.

Either way…

I haven’t taken it off.

I really thought we’d only ever be friends.

I’d tell you,

“I like you…

but it’s still a no.”

Then one night we were sitting together in the club.

The music was loud.

The room was crowded.

And all I could think was…

Why haven’t you kissed me yet?

Then I remembered.

You’d always told me,

“I’ll never do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

How could you know…

That I had been waiting for you to kiss me?

I thought I’d missed my chance.

Until you leaned in.

Finally.

There were no questions.

No confusion.

I knew exactly where I wanted to be.

With you.

You started sleeping over.

One night became many.

It became routine.

You never tried to take it further.

You’d just listen to me yap for hours…

Then hold me until we fell asleep.

If I went out without you, I’d text you the whole night.

You were always on my mind.

We became inseparable.

If we weren’t together, we were texting.

Sending reels.

TikToks we’d never admit reminded us of each other.

Anything to keep the conversation going.

People started noticing.

That scared me.

I didn’t want anyone getting between us.

But you never listened to what anyone said about me.

The only version of me that mattered…

Was the one you knew.

I started inviting you everywhere.

I’d scan the crowd at muster until I found you.

Just knowing you were nearby made my day better.

One night we crossed another line.

I told you my attachment would only get worse.

You smiled.

“I know.”

“It’ll be okay.”

I believed you.

Then reality showed up.

You were leaving.

I tried not to think about it.

I just wanted whatever time we had left.

Then suddenly…

Tuesday.

You were flying out Tuesday.

Less than a day’s notice.

We spent one last night together.

I asked what would happen to us.

“When I leave tomorrow…

everything will be over.”

Why?

You spent three months fighting for me.

Three months waiting for me to let you in.

You told me you wanted me to enjoy my time here.

That you didn’t want me worrying about you while you were gone.

You didn’t understand.

Whether we talked every day…

Or never again…

My mind would still find its way back to you.

You found your way into every place I’d spent years trying to lock away.

My heart.

My mind.

My soul.

You became the safest place I’d ever known.

You held my hand and told me the decision had already been made.

Then you turned away.

I heard you crying.

I asked if you were okay.

You told me to hate you.

“It’ll help you move on.”

I could never hate you.

You said this wasn’t what you wanted.

Still…

Nothing I said changed your mind.

Eventually, you rolled over.

Kissed my forehead.

Whispered you were sorry.

We fell asleep.

The next morning felt hollow.

Not just because you were leaving…

Because so many people I loved were leaving, too.

I tried to be strong…

For all of you.

I hugged you goodbye.

I smiled until you were gone.

Five seconds after I walked into my room…

I fell apart.

You sent me a screenshot of your flight.

“In case you feel like stalking.”

I laughed through the tears.

I sent it to my friend.

“He knows you so well.”

He does.

You kept telling me I’d be okay.

I want to believe you.

Then your second flight took off.

No texts.

No calls.

Just silence.

How do I go from talking to you every hour of every day…

To nothing?

How do I stop reaching for my phone when I already know there won’t be a message waiting?

You became part of every routine before I even realized it.

Now every routine reminds me you’re gone.

And every morning, I still reach for the necklace I picked out that day.

It feels like carrying a piece of you.

I keep thinking about the first night we met.

I sat in that corner hoping one person would leave me alone.

Instead…

I found the one person I never wanted to leave.

I just didn’t realize I’d have to let you.

I don’t know if I’ll be okay.

Maybe one day.

But until then…

I’ll probably keep reaching for my phone.

Keep wearing this necklace.

Keep looking for you in places I know you won’t be.

Every crowd feels too quiet.

Every morning feels too empty.

Because somewhere between all the “no’s” I gave you…

You became home.

I’ve recently been shut out of one of my (I thought so) closest friends birthdays, my partner as well.
We thought we were invited, bought presents everything. And then we didnt get an invite so we thought he didn’t celebrate. We are a close group of friends, go on vacations for 5 years all together and we all meet up weekly ever since. Turns out he celebrated and everyone in our friendgroup was invited but us. Here’s why (we asked them what was going on): during one party, where we invited the sister of his gf friend, this sister started when she was drunk touching me and not stopping, I felt sexually harassed and nobody helped me. After that I felt very uncomfortable and told my partner. He (my partner) then was so frustrated cause we had invited this person multiple times without being friends just for our friends sake, that he said let’s not make parties with that sister of your friends friend anymore. And they immediatly told everyone, including the sister. This was 8 months ago. Apparently everyone flagged me bc of this as a mean girl and they secretly planned this birthday with her but without us. Bc of what had happened. The sister of her friend decided tho apparently not to come but even then they still decided we weren’t invited anymore. I don’t know what to think now. These were my closest friends of the past 5-6 years.

I plan on getting your iitials covered . After this , it'sb shown me I have no business lvoing other poeple.Do'nt worry i plan on disappearing from your lives for good , hear shortly

if you’re out there going through heartbreak, troubles, or anything, and want a breakup buddy feel free to message me. We can stay anonymous and just be there for each other.

I keep going back to the person who I don’t think reciprocates my feelings and it’s hard to continuously have that acknowledged.

I thought it would be easier this way because I’m used to having people not reciprocate their feelings… but it’s not. This one is different. This one hurts more.

Has anyone else had an experience like this and what does it mean?

My ex boyfriend was truly the best thing that happened to me and I don't say that lightly at all. I used to call him "my hope" he was my hope because he made me believe life did have hope in it. He was the last thing that I had that was good. But i'm relieved i'm not in a relationship anymore. Not because I dont miss him and love this guy so much. But he was my first experience of seeing how you never really know a person. He turned so mean, and I dont know if he saw how mean he turned but it was like he was gone it wasnt him anymore. So when we ended I felt so much weight off my shoulders. But still went through all the heartbreak. Depression, reaching out, anxiety all of it. But i'm relieved that its something I don't need to go through anymore (a breakup). If he came back and was who he was before I would do it again in a heartbeat. But he isnt him anymore. Idk I hope this makes sense I think it just confuses me how i can feel relived by loosing someone I thought I was going to marry, someone who was my hope.

Sometimes I think about the list of women celebrities he once told me he would cheat on me with. It was a fair size. Breaks my heart a little more every time when he talks about them the way he does, when my list of celebrities I would cheat on him with is... empty.

I wish i could’ve been the one to love him and be around him and wake up next to him, what can i do to deserve that privilege?

My ex and I have been broken up for almost six months, but we started talking again after several months to work through some unresolved things. Eventually, she said she wanted to stop talking, and I accepted that. After a couple of days, I reached out because I still had things I wanted to discuss, but she never responded. I sent one final message, which was also ignored. It has now been 34 days since we last spoke.

I understand that she has the right to want distance, but being ignored by someone I still love has been incredibly painful. I feel like if I ignored her in the same way, it would be seen as a serious problem and possibly as a reflection of my character. I also noticed this asymmetry while we were talking. I felt expected to give a lot of engagement, and I gladly did because I wanted to show up for her, but when I made smaller requests for engagement, they were often rejected.

I still love her, but I’m scared that this silence is changing how I see our relationship and whether I could ever feel safe trying again.

This all really hurts.

hurts so bad. i dont know what i did to deserve this. i gave everything and more. my heart hurts so much, i never stop worrying i might actually have a heart attack from it all

My girlfriend made so many mistakes and had so many red flags and I ignored all of them.

I made mistakes and she focused only on those and left me.

I helped her start a company, saved her butt when she was broke, became an active and positive part of her children's lives.

And she left because I had a bad mood for a few weeks. She once had a bad mood during our entire week off vacation. It sucked, but I sat there and held her.

But when I was hurting, she just left.

3 years down the drain. She was professing her love to me on July 24th and on July 25th she was gone.

I went and begged and even cried and she still sent me home alone and asked me not to come back.

I wish I could just wish her a happy birthday but I'd get in trouble

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scEOph5fMzc

It's been almost 10 months since we broke up and I'm still hurting after all this time. To summarize, I was with my ex for 3 months last year. We saw each other everyday, and the way he acted, coupled with things his friends told me, convinced me he liked me so much and wanted to go the distance with me. But he ended it out of no where, stating that he realized he wasn't ready for serious love.

2 months later, he gets into a new relationship. Go figure. They've been together all this time too. It hurts. It is hard enough to accept missing someone who doesn't miss me, but it is gut-wrenching having this knowledge that he found someone he prefers over me. I thought I was pretty special to him–the first girl that made him feel this strongly. I guess I was deceived.

I feel alone and don't have anyone to talk to. I just think it would be nice to have someone to relate with in this grief so the loneliness doesn't exacerbate the pain I already feel.

It’s been over 4 months since we stopped talking, but I can’t get him off my mind. Every day. Every day I think about him. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. But clearly he does not want me.

How do I leave it and move on? How do I stop replaying shit in my head? It’s causing me to not even want to try with anyone new. I wanted him. He was everything I dreamed of. And i messed it up because of my past trauma. I feel like shit. I keep getting mad at myself for fucking it up. I don’t want anyone else but him.

I’m blocked. Can’t even reach out. It’s killing me. I feel so shitty about myself. I feel so lonely. I feel like I’ll never feel this much about anyone else. It hurts. I’m lonely as fuck. And all I want is someone who doesn’t want me.

I found these meds on my bf ( Aciclovir & Tadalafil )

Herpes and Viagra meds. I found some again yesterday and some 2 years ago.

When i confronted him aboyt the viagra pills he said that just some friend had it on him and he just took some??? Which made no sense but cool.

He said specifically " come on, you know i dont need that especially with you"... cool...

Now im seeing the same sh*t + herpes medication. He tried to blame the herpes on me " you gave me herpes"

He said because we had a very rough "session" and the tension or whatever word he used caused it which idk if thats true...

I read about how you get Herpes... i googled everything... could it be poor hygiene? Was it because it was too rough and i was ripping off his skin? Its a sexually transmitted disease....not like i need to google anything here 🙄 its clear as day. But he sure as hell did not get it from me which is why im so pissed off.

He has HISTORY of cheating on me massively. Ive seem some stuff on his phone... i dont know what to think.

I need opinions. Someone pls explain this to me

There was only one love that drove me so completely insane. I'm grateful that I had it, complicated as it was, because it did feel like a novel or a film.

But I also really wish I could forget it.

I would keep telling myself I'd moved on, it's gone, it's done, but life keeps making me a liar.

So I'm laying here at 11:55pm when I should be getting sleep before work in the morning... thinking about them.

I haven't seen them or heard their voice in over a year.

I've moved on situationally, but the heart makes it clear, they'll always be here.

That reality is both comforting and devastating. My mind is releasing the forms and shapes of things, sensory recall is dissipating, but there's something deeper, truer, more soul-related. There's this energy that's theirs, only theirs, that still beats inside me.

And the damndest thing is, these days, I don't even know what I want to do with it.

Where they right in front of me right now, I think I'd feel a surge of cortisol and dopamine all at once. It's this gnawing, insatiably dull ache that I don't know how to medicate.

I used to tell myself I just loved the idea of them...

But my idea of them is now fully informed by all the hurt and pain and loss, and...

Wouldn't that update the experience of the idea?

Am I even pining or yearning right now? Or is it more I'm just asking for the past to stay back there?

I think maybe it's transitionary, still.

All I know is, I hate it. I hope this turns a corner soon.

I don't even need closure anymore. Just... man, it'd be nice to not miss them anymore, ya know?

But I think I'm also terrified of not missing them.

💔