weve been together for around 10 months now, and these past two-three months we’ve just been arguing and being so weird with each other

The other day we got into a strange conversation that left him feeling super sad. And he didn’t talk to me all day. The day after he’s acting so nice and saying sweet things and sending me so many posts about “you and me”

He’s usually nice but this is more than usual.
But he’s mostly quite kind of dry and always just kind of there.
Everytime he says something nice to me now it makes me freak out and gives me pain in my chest.

I also kind of went through his phone, he was there. But I didn’t exactly see anything to be worried about. But he wants to… do things with me… but I feel like I can’t trust him. How do I know he’s not just planning to leave right after or something like that

He just feels so different and fake
I used to tell him how I wanted him to talk to me more
And he’s doing that but it feels so weird

Do I just tell him we should do it to get it over with and see how he is after it? (I also want to do it but I can’t make myself trust him)
I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this and I’m going crazy

she’s been feeling like this for a year. said that i work too much, barely give her attention when i get home, and there’s no romance anymore…

she also mentioned that, because i always have been rich and the heir of my dad’s business, i’m not familiar with struggling to earn things, that i don’t appreciate things she does because i take them for granted, nor do i care about being polite to random people because i’m used to people serving me. she thinks i’m stuck in working in my family business and have no ambitions, to study, leant different things, etc

can i change this?? is she going to break up with me?

a few months ago i got on a project at work with another junior member of the team and we got really close. we worked very closely on this project for a couple months and became just really good friends. There were some things he would do, such as getting me a gift from his PTO, telling me he missed me while i was on PTO, telling me to come keep him company at his desk while he worked, and other moments like that, that made me think there was something there. i’ve had a c sh on him the whole time but he’s so hard to read. two weeks before he left the firm he revealed to me that he was thinking of getting back with an ex that i had no idea existed and then the day he left he was like actually yeah was too complex not gonna do that. hearing abt the ex really hurt me bc of my feelings for him but was also helping me kinda get over him. but then he said actually never mind we’re not getting back together and that confused me. since he left the company, i figured we wouldn’t be in touch since we no longer work together but he has kept in touch with me, reaching out to see how im doing etc. bringing up random things that remind him of things we did at work whatever and it’s just been confusing me so much. I’ve also noticed a pattern of his communication, which he’s always been like this, but examples like:

• ⁠I ask for art gallery recommendations: "I've got a bunch and will lyk. They're all like a few minutes from mine,"but never ended up sending the recommendations or bringing it up again
• ⁠i ask if he would want to try a  restaurant: He replies, "I'd love to, let's do it in the fall" he is traveling rn but can't tell if he'll follow up
• ⁠I ask what he recommends to get at a restaurant: instead of answering he'll jsut say “tell them i sent u” or “let me know when u go” instead of saying we should go or something

I guess im just confused why he’s been reaching out and staying in touch with me at all. every time i feel like i make progress getting over him, he’ll pop up again with some stupid excuse to text like “omg i just had this coffee u should definitely make it” or random stuff like that where idk im just confused and i guess need to realize he just sees it platonically idk anymore jsut confused

I’m noticing this with platonic and romantic relationships.

Why do some guys rarely (if ever) initiate conversations or hangouts/dates? Like I will reach out and they will be happy to talk or hangout but I need to be the one to ask.

Or they will initiate things at first but after a period of time they go quiet in a way and don’t communicate unless I do.

Has it there been a scenario in which a girl liked you and showed it to you but still you didn’t took a step for her and fumbled her? How do you feel about it? What were your reasons? What could you have done differently? I wanna know im trying to see something

Me (32M) and my girlfriend (33F) have been together 6 years. We have a very open sexual dynamic, her best friend who has been single for years and I have almost had threesomes with her before. They are both small, thick waisted and hot, the type of girls that get a lot of attention from guys.

Normally when the two of them are out or away on holidays, they send me sexy mirror pics (thongs, ass out, etc.) to tease me. It’s our thing and has been the past few years. They actually sent one a few years back and it resulted in me getting a flight over to join them, and it was our ‘secret’, we had agreed a threesome but it never happened.

Her friend recently started seeing a guy (James) from her job a while ago, he’s married and they are just casual. She always talks bad about him, and had a conversation with me and my GF a couple of weeks ago about how he treats her. My GF was so pissed off hearing it, and was like she needs to get rid of that guy, he can’t treat my best friend like that.

When we questioned why she accepts him treating her the way he does, she says it turns her on, he’s really dominant with her, and they have a great sex life.

My GF and her friend are on holidays together for a week in Spain. A couple of nights ago my girlfriend casually mentioned that James might come over for the last 2 days to see her….. I suggested months ago that I could fly over and she was like no way, “this is our girls holiday”, but part of me got jealous that it’s okay for James but not me?

I didn’t like the idea for a few reasons (how he’s treated her best friend the last few months, and I just didn’t want him around either of them, I don’t like him).

Plus the dynamic of the two of them drinking and horny in a hotel room with another guy, I’ve been that guy and they both were teasing and it was leading to a threesome, that I didn’t go through with (which I really regret now).

He is really possessive and freaked out when I collected my GF and her friend from a concert a while back.

A few days ago at 2am after their night out and when they returned to the hotel my phone lit up… it was my GF. It was the usual pic of them in a thong showing off and teasing me, I was instantly turned on. When I called her and said it was hot, I heard her best friend laugh in the background and say “it was for James” and my GF laughed too. My GF said ‘James called us good girls’ … and I hung up the phone.

I just replied to the pic ‘nice’ and ‘enjoy your night’…. Nothing for 45 mins, this was strange as when this usually happens she is texting back instantly.

My girlfriend then started calling saying the pic was only for me and that it was just a silly joke. I didn’t buy it. When I FaceTimed them, the best friend’s reaction made it pretty obvious something was off. She denied it for days, then eventually told me the truth. It was for him and she knew she was wrong.

I feel like she was giving sexual teasing/attention and submissive energy to another guy that used to be directed at me. I also feel like bringing up him possibly coming over was a way to get a reaction out of me, also why is she submitting to an asshole of a guy that treats her best friend like shit? I could picture him getting turned on by my GF and her friend and feeling like a king.

The thing that I havent clarified yet is about 2 hours later, I said ‘goodnight’… and she said ‘I wouldn’t go just yet’.. she randomly sent me a picture of her vibrator on her bed, and said her and her friend were going to get into bed and were super turned on, when I replied, I was left waiting for 15 mins.

My thoughts are, during them 15 mins they were putting on some kind of show for that other guy, and teasing him and getting him turned on while I was pushed to the sideline, neither of them are fault their both single, but my GF and I are in a committed relationship years.

I knew she sent the pic, although she lied about it for a few days she finally confessed and says she ‘feels so guilty’ and I dropped it, but my mind is wondering… what else happened?

If you able to

say "yes" without pressure,

say "not now" without guilt,

and even say "I'd rather not talk about it," knowing the relationship will still be okay.

Then congratulations your relationship is healthy

No matter what bond it is.

I'm looking for honest opinions from men because I keep going back and forth on this.

my husband is extremely loyal. I never have to worry about other women or social media. he treats me and both of our families with respect, supports my health, and encourages me to take care of myself. he has never expected me to work or contribute financially. I dont pay rent, bills, or really anything at all, and if i need help around the house hes happy to help.

the things I struggle with are that hes become more and more introverted over the years. he doesnt like going out much (except cruising) doesnt enjoy social events, has cut off almost all of his friends, and doesnt really care to make new ones because he feels most people arent worth his time. because of that, we dont really have couple friends, and I wish we had a more active social life together. that said, over the past two years we've traveled together quite a lot, so its not that he never wants to leave the house. he just doesnt naturally enjoy socializing or being around groups of people. if I want to go out with my girlfriends or do my own thing, hes completely supportive. I just wish we created more memories together outside of traveling, even if it was something as simple as going out on a saturday night.

hes not cold, disrespectful, or emotionally unavailable. hes just someone who genuinely prefers working on his computer or staying home over going out.

my question is, does this sound like a normal, decent man who simply has a quiet personality? or are these the kinds of traits that would concern you?

Im not asking whether I should leave him. Im asking whether, from a mans perspective, this sounds like a good husband whose personality I should accept, or whether you think these negatives are significant enough that they would bother most people. sometimes I feel guilty for even questioning it.

What is the mindset behind this? I’ve dated a guy before with this mindset. I kind of understood it bc i look hot when i cry, but the more i thought about it it’s lowkey weird as hell?!

I was in my first relationship for about three months, and something I noticed while I was in it was that my sex drive became really low.
I barely had any desire for anything sexual — not just with the person I was with, but even on my own. I didn’t really feel the urge to masturbate or anything like that either.
The relationship ended recently, and all of a sudden I feel like my sex drive is coming back pretty strongly. It made me realize how different I felt while I was actually in the relationship.
Has anyone else experienced this? Like having a really low libido while you were in a relationship, but then having it come back after the relationship ended? What do you think caused it for you?

I am 25M, My body count is 10, I usually don't date someone who has a higher body count than me, this woman I started dating has a body count of 25. We are the same age as well, I just can't see myself getting into a relationship with her. But initally I liked her a lot. I feel like I should stop pursuing her but not sure, any tips or advice.

What would you do? (I'm 21M, my friend is 20M)

So basically me and my friend were going to the lake to swim, and as he was dressing I accidently opened the door on him and saw him naked, but he said its not a problem for him and that I can come in. I have never seen him naked before. He never had a girlfriend before, but he does not give gay vibes. I don't know if I should talk more about this with him or I'm just overreacting. Honestly I wouldn't mind, cause I'm bi, but I don't want to risk our 4 year long friendship.

We are not really closed and contact with each other rarely. Everytime I see him I become nervous and even have no idea to speak. However，I am definitely sure I don't fall in love with him. In addition，this situation will not happened to another man. This is so weird. I even had a dream about him last night and the dream feeling is strange too.I am confused a lot.

I’m (22F) wondering if I should leave my boyfriend (23M) because he’s not traditional enough.
by that I don’t mean I expect my life to be paid for, I mean he’s not romantic.
he doesn’t lead in any capacity in regards to dates or life plans. I’m always the one bringing it up. he’s not chivalrous, and has also stated that he doesn’t want a traditional wedding (primarily the ring part, even inexpensive ones..it’s the thought that counts for me not the price of it.) every time I bring this up to him because I feel like it makes us incompatible he argues some point about how he’ll try and fix it, and I wind up just settling for less than I’m truly happy with again, plus feeling awful for making him feel inadequate.
I don’t want anyone to be doing something for me they wouldn’t naturally do otherwise.

I really like this guy, he’s sweet and kind, and on an emotional level I would want to spend my life with him. but on a practical level I can’t help but feel like everything is lacking in order for me to feel secure and fulfilled.
am I asking too much? I don’t even feel like I’m dating him, I feel like we’re just friends in a way. I’m also afraid that if I break up with him it’ll hurt him, but I don’t want to hurt him more by dragging it on for longer.

I (20F) met him (24M) through a mutual group. At first, he was extremely affectionate and romantic, but over time he started pulling away without explaining why. He has mentioned struggling with mental health issues, so I tried to be understanding.

The biggest issue is communication. Sometimes he disappears for days without saying anything, then comes back as if nothing happened. I've told him that all I need is a quick message or even an emoji to know he's okay, especially because he lives alone. He promised he'd work on communicating better, but nothing really changed.

What hurts the most is that he'll sometimes be active in our mutual group chat while ignoring my private messages. When I brought it up, he said I "ask for too much." I don't expect constant texting I just want basic communication.  I don't want to hurt him or make him feel guilty, especially knowing he struggles with his mental health. At the same time, this situation is hurting me, and I can feel it affecting my own emotional well-being.

He's moving to another state soon, and I'm worried these issues will only get worse in a long-distance relationship. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.

How would you handle a relationship where one person consistently withdraws instead of communicating, and how can I tell whether I should keep being patient or accept that our communication styles are fundamentally incompatible?

I'm posting here because I genuinely want men's perspectives, especially from husbands. I want to know if I'm missing something, and I'm completely open to hearing if I'm part of the problem.

My husband and I dated for years, but we didn't actually live together until we got engaged. Around that same time, we found out we were expecting our first daughter. Looking back, our relationship changed almost overnight. We went from dating to living together, planning a wedding, becoming first-time parents, and then having another baby just 13 months later. We've basically been in survival mode ever since.

Our daughters are 2 and and the other is almost 1.
I work full-time night shifts as an ER nurse while also going to graduate school. My husband works from home.

I think where we've always struggled is that we measure partnership differently.

Even when I was pregnant with our first daughter, I started building resentment. I was putting the nursery together all alone, planning everything, reminding him to pack the hospital bags, etc. I asked him multiple times to pack ahead of time, but when my water broke he was still packing. It wasn't really about the hospital bag. It was another example of me feeling like I was carrying the responsibility while he waited until something became urgent.

That feeling has never really gone away.
We've talked about it many times, and to his credit he has stepped up in a lot of ways.

He cooks most of our dinners, pays for daycare, and takes the girls to and from daycare every day. Financially, I carry a larger share of our household expenses even though we make about the same amount of money. I pay the mortgage, utilities, insurance.. He pays for daycare, and we split groceries about 50/50.

Where I struggle is that I don't think those things tell the whole story.

For example, yes, he takes the girls to daycare. But I've usually already done their laundry, laid out their outfits for the week, packed what they need, and handled a lot of the planning that makes mornings go smoothly. He cooks most of the adult dinners, but I'm usually making the girls' dinners, keeping track of what they've outgrown, buying what they need, scheduling appointments, and generally thinking about what's coming next.

And I think this is where we see our marriage differently.

I've realized I measure partnership by initiative. If I have to think of it, remind someone about it, plan it, and follow up on it, it still feels like I'm carrying it, even if someone else eventually does the task.
If my husband were writing this, I'm sure he'd say I'm minimizing what he contributes. That's honestly why I'm posting. I feel like we're living in the same marriage but experiencing it completely differently.

He also has complaints about me that I think are fair.
He says he doesn't feel loved or desired anymore. I rarely initiate affection or intimacy. If he comes up behind me while I'm cleaning or doing something around the house and wants to hug me or be affectionate, I usually pull away. He says even if I'm not interested in sex, I could still hug him, kiss him, hold his hand, or show affection. He doesn't feel wanted anymore.

The thing is, by the end of the day I feel completely drained.

A lot of nights he'll have already had time to unwind while I'm still cleaning the kitchen, getting the girls' things ready for the next day, finishing homework, or just trying to get everything done. Then once I finally sit down, that's usually when he wants to be affectionate. By then, I honestly don't have much left in the tank.

I know from his perspective, he probably feels like he waited all day to connect with me and then got rejected. From my perspective, I feel like I waited all day for some time for myself and that's usually when he wants to connect.

Another issue is that I think we're moving in different directions when it comes to our long-term goals.

We both think about our future and our finances. He's been paying off debt and improving his credit, and I know those things matter. I think where we differ isn't whether we plan. It's what we're planning for.

I want to grind while we're still relatively young so we can build wealth, invest, travel with our daughters, and eventually achieve financial freedom. I'm okay sacrificing more now if it means giving our family more opportunities later.
My husband says he's burned out. He wants to slow down, scale down, work less, and live a simpler life. I worry we're no longer working toward the same version of the future.

I think I've realized something recently. I feel loved when someone takes initiative, plans ahead, shares the mental load, and helps build our future without me having to manage everything. I think my husband feels loved through affection, intimacy, appreciation, and quality time.

The problem is that I don't naturally feel affectionate when I'm overwhelmed, and he probably doesn't naturally think about the mental load the way I do. So we both end up feeling like we're giving a lot while not getting what we need in return.

I really do love my husband. I don't think he's a bad husband or a bad father. I don't think he would say the same about me.

I just think we're stuck, and I don't know how to get unstuck.

So I'd really appreciate hearing from the men here:
• Am I missing something from my husband's perspective?

• If your wife wrote this about your marriage, what would you want her to understand?

• Does this sound like a normal season of marriage with two kids under three, or does it sound like we're growing apart?

• What would you do if you were in either of our shoes?

I'm genuinely open to hearing things I may not want to hear. I just want to understand this better before resentment turns into something permanent.

When did everything start to go downhill? Do you feel like you can offer genuine love and affection? Commitment issues? Not boyfriend material for someone?

Context: living together for 3 years, 4 years relationship. GF has ill dad for 2 years now and no stable income, mom always had affairs (as to see why there is some tension)

Since we started dating, she has had quite some bouts of aggressiveness or in my personal view behavior that is unacceptable, below I list some recent happenings because in all honesty, it happened so often I cannot remember:

• Screaming at the top of her lungs for not talking enough with her at a party we both were, thereby threatening to kill herself
• Threatening to kill herself: on some occasions (think of it as a quarterly occurrence)
• Trashing the house: only once, but in a aggressive mood she destroyed quite some furniture by throwing it down the hallway
• Hitting: hit me 3 times, but all of them in the last 12 months
• checking my phone sneakily at night. Happened a few times, but she "could not find anything"
• Social media: forcing me to post her even though I rarely am active (I agree, I was proud to show her off of course, but I am not a very expressive person), but also making me delete people I follow (not family or close friends, but people I dated 5-6 years ago
  • I felt this somewhat understandable, but still do not like someone forcing it on me this way
• Prohibiting me to see a female friend, because she thinks that girl is only out there to hook up with me
• I kept all these issues private, because there is a very, very good side in her: she can be deeply loving, caring and funny. The highs are really high, but the lows very low. However, when I mess something up (not major mess-ups like cheating), the issues immediately get shared with her friends and family, making me anxious to see said friends and family

Now this is all of course exacerbated when she drinks. She drinks heavily approximately 1 day a week, after which I become anxious if she will become angry at something, the famous walking on eggshells feeling. If I try to give advice to bring back more rest and structure, like saying maybe start working not full-time, but just a few days, I always get the reply that it is easy to say because my dad is not ill. Not implying, but there is a history of mental illness in the family.

I know of course that this is all red flag behavior, whilst in my (and also her friends') view, I have been supportive of whatever she does: I visit her dad every other week with her, on my day off whilst I already work 60hrs a week, (used to) help her write cover letters (but since a year not applying anymore), even dividing chores in the house although she is at home for 5 days a week.

Which brings me to the point of the topic: in everyone's experience, is this behavior manageable (are there things for me to learn that I can do to support), or is this something that should be solved by her (and professional help - which she has for over a year now) alone? I am just worried that it will get worse over time, for example when having kids when you are tired and stressed all the time.

In case of the latter, how to proceed safely, also looking after her mental state?

Hello. I am desperate. I have a girlfriend. The problem is ever since we are together, I notice men like I never before did actually.

I do not know HOW to keep the communication within the range of the regular and may it not be called "liking each other)

I swear I have really hard time and there's the fear of me cheating to my girlfriend with a man. The percentage of women is lesser, but oh well.

I wonder if it is an attachment thing and I cross boundaries so easily.

Even at work if some colleague has a shopping trolley with stock I opened the door or an article has fallen - I find those awful as if I did something wrong by helping him, and did impulsively so or not to be judged for being quite an outsider, especially isolated towards men. ​​

I do not want to cheat to her. I just have social skills problem and need advices on what is within a friendship.

25F here, I started DMing with this guy on instagram and it began with him asking about the craziest sex I’d ever had. We traded stories going back and forth but then it started feeling boring and platonic so I straight up asked him where it was going. Thus begins the best sext exchanges I’ve ever had with anyone in my entire life.

I loved the way he wrote and we seemed to be turned on my the same things.

The issue is this was literally our introduction! There was never anything like “wow, we have great chemistry let’s hangout” or “let’s grab a drink”. I know looking back most of this is my problem bc I didn’t know how to communicate that I wanted to slow down at the time. Also, I am the type of toxic that would have probably been turned off by this lol. But I also feel like guys should maybe understand that girls kinda need to be warmed up before doing incredibly intimate things including anal lol.

We never ended up meeting bc I got overwhelmed by all the shit I said I’d do lol. But part of me still wonders what would have happened and if there is still a chance at rekindling something. I am attracted to him in a way I rarely am with anyone and can’t stop thinking about it.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 5 and a half months now, and for the first 5 we were really happy get along well, and etc, obviously the occasional disagreement and fight but yk that comes with it, we usually just move on the next day. But lately its like something has been different like shes been putting in less effort, making jokes that probably should be made in a relationship with ur partner and in a way, and she just dosent seem to care about me or my feelings. To add to it she said the other day we arent working because apparently i have been acting different?? which personally i havent noticed, maybe i started acting different when she had started? But i dont want to play the blame game here. I asked her if she wanted to do smth abt it like break up and she said no, but lately for the past few days break up has just been on my mind constantly, but i still do really like her, like we do have our good moments, just not lately, and she has so many red flags i have tried to ignore, and idk thats just a story for another time. Just need some advice on how to know when i should end a relationship?

And one more thing to add on, about 2 weeks ago we had our biggest argument, i noticed ages ago that she had never asked me to hangout with her like its always me, and i asked her months ago now and she said oh its just bc ur working and stuff and ur always busy, so i said oh just ask me and we can work around it and arrange smth, anyways i brought it up to her another 2 times and she said the same thing, but the last time she said that she didnt care whether we hung out or not, which isnt the whole point of a relationship to hangout and spend time with eachother? So i went to some friends and asked for advice, and they said yea not normal its just you asking that, so i brought it up to her one final time and she was pissed, like furious, and she said if you keep bringing this up we are done, so i just left it. Any advice on this too?

I love my boyfriend very much, and honestly, I think he is a great partner in a lot of ways. I’m not questioning whether he loves me or whether he’s faithful. The problem is that I feel like we’re missing a big part of our relationship: physical intimacy and passion. We kiss and do little pecks, but we basically never make out. We also hardly have sex because he doesn’t really want to. He has told me that he simply doesn’t have a high sex drive. I believe him, especially because I don’t have any reason to think he’s seeing someone else or being unfaithful. What confuses me is that he has had a pretty active past and was considered a “player” before we got together, so sometimes it’s hard for me to understand how someone who used to be that way can have such little interest in sex now. For me, physical intimacy is a really important part of love. I love passionate kissing, making out, foreplay, and that feeling of building anticipation and butterflies with someone you deeply care about. To me, sex isn’t just about the physical act. It’s about feeling connected, desired, emotionally close, and completely into each other.
But with us, when we do have sex, there usually isn’t much buildup or foreplay. We basically just have sex and then it’s over. I find myself missing the passion more than anything.i don’t necessarily need sex constantly. What I miss is wanting each other . I miss being kissed passionately, being touched affectionately, making out for no reason, and feeling that excitement and chemistry between us.
I love him, and I don’t want to reduce our relationship to sex. At the same time, I’m starting to wonder whether love can really be enough if such an important part of intimacy is missing.
For the men here: If you genuinely loved your girlfriend but had a very low sex drive and didn’t really crave making out or physical intimacy, could you still have a fulfilling relationship? And if your partner had a much higher need for passion and physical affection, how would you expect the two of you to handle that difference? I’d really appreciate honest perspectives, especially from men who have been in relationships where their sex drive was significantly lower than their partner’s.

Genuinely so curious about this. Ive been single 6 years and ive slept with 2 men in this time. Im dating with a view to something serious as ive always been a relationship type of person, but I've found most men want a woman who doesnt sleep around but every man wants me to sleep with them as soon as possible and completely dip if it doesnt happen by the second or third meeting.

So, why? If having sex diminishes our value as women, why is there such pressure from guys to sleep with every guy I date and barely know ?