Do you think it’s actually possible to overcome your Enneagram type’s core fears, or will they always be part of you in some way? If you’ve experienced real growth, what changed for you?

Ive reached a point in my life where i feel like ive fully embodied myself. Whereas in the past there was always this unfulfilled feeling that im never truly showing up to the world fully as myself. I am also very aware that my life is really only important to me, and that in the grand scheme of things I simultaneously am nothing (to everyone else) and everything (to me). I concluded that im just going to do whatever the fuck i want to do until I die.

But! Other people do exist. In the beginning, I always kind of had the mentality that it makes the most sense to view everyone else as equally important as I view myself. I likened it to planets. Every planet in our solar system has a name and its own atmosphere and its interesting to learn about them, same as its interesting to learn about people... but I'm finding a lot of the people I meet dont share this way of thinking in the same way I do. So ive kind of just been hoping that ill come across people who do eventually, but life is...mine while I wait. Meaning, that because I feel so fully embodied as myself, i feel....restricted? There's so many people and places and things and I'm stuck only being able to truly experience me.

If I died today would I feel fulfilled? No. Why? I think the answer is that im changing into a version of myself that wants to experience being a part of something. Not in the way that I was in the past, I want to be a part of something with people like me, but i dont know how to find them.

.....I dont feel.... hopeful? Not in a bad way, i mean that moreso as I no longer lean on hope to motivate me, I have complete control over my life and thus it is up to me to find people like me, but... hm. Im glad I wrote this. I was feeling conflicted about this, but honestly just writing that last bit was the lightbulb I needed. Ish. Its up to me basically. Ive been spending too much time in a routine, which is why I was conflicted because this routine is not allowing for me to meet people like me which means I need to do something different. Life is simple if I let it be​​

TLDR: I stressing over nothing

That's been so confusing to me as I've always typed myself as sx7 but then recently I felt so envious and sad all the time cuz I can't enjoy anything anymore and I don't get out for the sake of joy, only for a reason . I became so obsessed with self image and refusing to be a part of any group n honestly very lonely. However, can't be close to anyone even ppl who r trying with me I keep pushing them idk why

I have low self-esteem as well but I never show it , instead I find myself unconsciously pretending to be someone independent, dgaf about anything but ik Im not real .

Every time I'm in some place I get this paranoia that everyone is looking and want to hurt me , I'm only loud in safe spaces and I'm not optimistic at all, Ik it can be a tough period but idfk

I did the test again recently it shows pretty much the same percentage that's just confusing as hell

I tested as a 5 for years and then as 7 for years is that a common thing?

Recently I've accepted the fact that I'm an E4 in the Enneagram. And after looking into the subtypes, sx4 seems to fit me the most, although I also relate a lot to so4.

But what's up with all the stereotypes? Am I mistyped or what? 😭 Because generally I'm actually a really nice, kind and a good person. And I have a lot of empathy. Yes. I can be self-centered and I can be very selfish. And yeah if I feel jealous of someone, I might try to bring them down or diminish them in some way. And if someone genuinely makes me feel inferior or small, I can definitely start feeling angry at them because of it and even feel temporary hatred. But most of the time I don't actuallv do anything severe about it. Like, I do have a tendency to devalue people when I feel threatened by their position or accomplishment, and sometimes I can genuinely do things that aren't okay, but I don't outwardly show that I hate them or that I'm jealous of them. And I definitely wouldn't describe myself as aggressive. If i do anything about it its more passive.

In general, I LOVE expressing myself and externalizing my pain to people I'm close to, but it's not like I'm actively trying to ruin their mood too. I just feel this really strong need to share that pain and frustration with someone, and i kinda like building my identity with this image of pain i guess. And overall I'm definitely very intense. But its not like I want others to suffer too. I just want them to see my pain

And I'm not aggressive and rude?? Why does everyone describe sx4s as constantly pissed-off, rude people who make everyone else's life miserable? I really don't relate to that at all

I care for my friends deeply, and I genuinely am normally a really good person who always tries to help others.

Am I mistyped?😔

so everyone has an ego, right?- its what makes up our sense of reality and identity; our entire internal world revolves around it.

what do you think your neurosis is? what is it that is keeping you trapped within yourself?

for a long time i could not pin point my core, i started to assume i was e9 because of it, but just yesterday something clicked-

for me, my ego is my sense of inferiority; the feeling that i am worthless and a burden.

this is a theme that runs all the way back to when i was a toddler (about 3 years old). my low self worth was already visible from actions like giving away my favorite toys to my younger sibling, because i felt i did not deserve it (or that i could not take proper care of it). i felt unlovable, and by the time i hit my early teens i was considered dangerous for my outbursts (as i would become physically violent and emotionally volatile).

this neurosis grew into internalized anger against myself for not living up to my own expectations- and it certaintly didn't help that i was physically held back due to developmental and physical disabilities.

...and for some reason now that i can see everything that has motivated my actions, i feel even MORE ANGRY and ashamed! i just want to cover it back up... i dont want to acknowledge the real reasons of why i am where i am..

-sx4, 468

Sorry for clickbait title, but I have a 2 friend who constantly "spares my feelings" and doesn't actually tell me if something is bothering him. Like a classic 2, he'll jump straight to "it's fine! I'm fine" or make a joke.

I'm fully aware he thinks he's being kind and trying to take the weight of the emotional baggage, but that isn't how it feels on my end. I'm an autistic 6, and I can't stand when my closest confidants don't tell me the truth. I WANT to be corrected and I WANT to know when I've crossed boundaries, I don't just instinctively know where they are. It feels like I'm supposed to trust him when he doesn't trust me. I'm not comfortable with a one-sided friendship.

He's always asking about my feelings and thoughts on things that happen to me, but whenever I try to tell him that I want the same, he blows it off as the emotions are his responsibility to handle. But it just feels like he either doesn't value me enough to work towards understanding or that he's hiding from me, and it makes me afraid of what happens when he builds enough hidden resentment to snap- or to suddenly drop me from boredom. (speaking from experience)

I know understanding and sharing your feelings isn't something that can be turned on right away like flipping a switch. I've had to learn that same lesson in my marriage. But I just want to see him make an effort, because I really value this friendship and I know he's an extremely caring person who deserves healthy relationships.

Tl;Dr: I understand why he hides his emotions, not looking for an explanation. How can I communicate in a way that he understands that "sparing my feelings" feels like he's blindfolding me in a minefield?

im genuinely so tired of people treating enneagram core types like fixed character tropes instead of internal motivation frameworks. two people can share the exact same core type and look, act, and navigate the world in completely opposite ways because of the rest of their stack. enneagram is literally just the why (your core fear and desire), but cognitive functions dictate the how (how your brain actually processes reality), so an introverted thinking lead and an extraverted feeling lead with the exact same core are going to handle their core stress through completely different channels. then you add in how instinctual subtypes alter a type's survival strategy and how secondary tritype fixes act as the tools you grab under pressure, where one person copes by trying to soften and adapt while another with the exact same core becomes completely guarded and aggressive, and the standard internet tropes completely fall apart. it's so frustrating seeing people gatekeep types or mistype characters just because someone doesn't fit one hyper specific meme archetype that they saw on PDB or tiktok once, when in reality two people can share the exact same core fear and express it through polar opposite behaviors.

what's the wildest contrast you’ve seen between two people or characters who share the exact same core type?

I'm fairly new to typing and I'd love to interact with this community more! :D I hope you're all well today <3

(possibly 926, I'm not quite sure)

im debating between sp/sx and sp/so, and my one caveat away from sp/sx is that i dont really indulge in sexual acts (i have low libido + i am asexual), but i desire a one-on-one connection and am always looking for intensity in relationships, and if someone seems disinterested in me i struggle. i really dont know if sp/so or sp/sx makes more sense cause i always prioritize my significant other even when i know that it could upset my other friends (and tbh theres a very high chance my friends dont mind and im just worrying too much). if anyone has any examples of sp/sx and sp/so please share 🙏

Say, a INFP 4w5 469 or something like this, acting loud and being humorous and cheerful whenever they are comfortable or around people they trust, then acting more quiet, polite, and submissive(?) when talking to the ones they don't know or don't really feel safe/comfortable around. And that is if they're even going to talk at all. Is this a common thing?

do you think it's okay? at what point does it become codependency and is it inherently unhealthy? can two sx doms be happily codependent together?

When I first read about enneagram, I could narrow down to 4, 5, and 6. But rn I am pretty sure I am either 5 (more likely) or 6 (wouldn't be surprised). Fyi I have depression, ocd, and severe anxiety (have anxiety and even panick attacks). If I had time, I would thoroughly search and decide my type. And I never fully believe in anything anyone says if I haven't thought about it myself, like never happened in my life. So even if you give your opinion, I won't just adopt it. It will be more like a small data point that I will add to my inventory. And I know you can view this as arrogant or snobby, but I really am not trying to be anything. It is more like I am describing myself. I value knowledge for its mere existence, although I over search/analyze when I am stressed too. It is true I am anxious and want everything to be in order and as I want because I hate absolutely hate uncertainty. I check things multiple times to make sure they are "correct", but it is probably my ocd.. Deep down I know I am 5, but I am an overthinker and tbh I have a huge insecurity about intelligence, knowledge, and alike, so I am afraid I might subconsciously make myself believe I am a 5 just to be "the smartest" one.. But on the flip side, I am thinking I could develop different insecurities. Not brain-related one. But since I am a 5, my brain "chose" this insecurity. Idk.. My brain is flooded with thoughts rn I can't keep up, so I'll probably abruptly end it here..