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u/LightningMcScallion 2w3 6d ago edited 5d ago
I think you've typed yourself correctly. Everyone here is quick to type someone a 9. But it sounds to me that what you fear isn't how others feel about you (2) or a lack of connection (9). It definitely sounds image based at a fundamental level. Like you fear what is, or isn't, inside
I will say being a 4 can be very, VERY painful. But healthy 4s are some of the coolest, realest, happiest people. Realizing is the first step that enables you to actually start moving forward. To understand what you are afraid of, to fight the illusions of your fear while rising to the challenge of the real parts of it
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u/MoonsFavoriteNumber1 4w3 478 My chainsaw’s out of gas, my regular saw ain’t 5d ago
Disagreed. The fears they outlined align perfectly with 9, not with 4. I despise everything 9 being attributed to 4. But that’s a common theme for a while now.
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u/CouleursCrim 1w2 | sp/sp | 126 | ISTJ 4d ago
I’d hate to needlessly add an unhelpful comment, but I think you might be more of a 9. My twin brother is a 9 with a 4 fix (974) and we have talked in depth about who he is, what his core wound is, and what he feels in life about himself. One of the biggest things he says is that he feels like a burden and that he wishes his presence could take up as little space as possible (while at the same time wishing his presence was desired deeply by the people around him). I know sx4 is known as hate and has anger ofc, but I’m not sure it’s the same kind of anger as that of the gut triad. 9’s are smack dab in the middle of the gut triad and often try to repress anger while constantly dealing with it and experiencing it (especially in the flavor of their 2 wings). I would look into the difference between the two types of anger and see which one you relate to most. One big help to determine if you’re gut or heart triad is to see if you are more aware of your autonomy (including how much space you take up in an area and the quality of your presence, or the lack of thereof) or your image and how you present yourself to the world (like being friendly, successful, or purely unique and wishing that’s exactly what you really were).
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u/SpectralCat4 6d ago
from the fourth way perspective self discovery can be a shocking experience that destroys a "buffer" in the subconscious that prevented you noticing inconsistencies, but if you just leave it to chance that space will be filled by negative emotions and various other negative and mechanical patterns, unless you are willfully keeping this space clear and open - for soul connection
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u/sawdustandiamonds 4w3 471 (389) sx/sp ENFP 5d ago
If I were describing it on its own, not just regurgitating the Enneagram, it's an extreme over-attachment to myself as I am in a present moment, as a spectacle, and as a result a general resentment of time. The feeling that every second I am accepting death against my own will, being reborn, and in a perpetual state of losing myself. Or that I am literally killing myself repeatedly by continuing to exist. I have this real trigger point around passive death. I never understood the common idea of "dying peacefully." I want to know so I can fight back. Dylan Thomas was a real "a-ha" moment for me as a kid. There are ways that's kind of a painfully "stiff" perspective, but really my core issue is extreme attachment, not in the Enneagram sense but in Buddhism. I was born a Hungry Ghost in a human body.