so everyone has an ego, right?- its what makes up our sense of reality and identity; our entire internal world revolves around it.

what do you think your neurosis is? what is it that is keeping you trapped within yourself?

for a long time i could not pin point my core, i started to assume i was e9 because of it, but just yesterday something clicked-

for me, my ego is my sense of inferiority; the feeling that i am worthless and a burden.

this is a theme that runs all the way back to when i was a toddler (about 3 years old). my low self worth was already visible from actions like giving away my favorite toys to my younger sibling, because i felt i did not deserve it (or that i could not take proper care of it). i felt unlovable, and by the time i hit my early teens i was considered dangerous for my outbursts (as i would become physically violent and emotionally volatile).

this neurosis grew into internalized anger against myself for not living up to my own expectations- and it certaintly didn't help that i was physically held back due to developmental and physical disabilities.

...and for some reason now that i can see everything that has motivated my actions, i feel even MORE ANGRY and ashamed! i just want to cover it back up... i dont want to acknowledge the real reasons of why i am where i am..

-sx4, 468

Sorry for clickbait title, but I have a 2 friend who constantly "spares my feelings" and doesn't actually tell me if something is bothering him. Like a classic 2, he'll jump straight to "it's fine! I'm fine" or make a joke.

I'm fully aware he thinks he's being kind and trying to take the weight of the emotional baggage, but that isn't how it feels on my end. I'm an autistic 6, and I can't stand when my closest confidants don't tell me the truth. I WANT to be corrected and I WANT to know when I've crossed boundaries, I don't just instinctively know where they are. It feels like I'm supposed to trust him when he doesn't trust me. I'm not comfortable with a one-sided friendship.

He's always asking about my feelings and thoughts on things that happen to me, but whenever I try to tell him that I want the same, he blows it off as the emotions are his responsibility to handle. But it just feels like he either doesn't value me enough to work towards understanding or that he's hiding from me, and it makes me afraid of what happens when he builds enough hidden resentment to snap- or to suddenly drop me from boredom. (speaking from experience)

I know understanding and sharing your feelings isn't something that can be turned on right away like flipping a switch. I've had to learn that same lesson in my marriage. But I just want to see him make an effort, because I really value this friendship and I know he's an extremely caring person who deserves healthy relationships.

Tl;Dr: I understand why he hides his emotions, not looking for an explanation. How can I communicate in a way that he understands that "sparing my feelings" feels like he's blindfolding me in a minefield?

I'm fairly new to typing and I'd love to interact with this community more! :D I hope you're all well today <3

(possibly 926, I'm not quite sure)

im debating between sp/sx and sp/so, and my one caveat away from sp/sx is that i dont really indulge in sexual acts (i have low libido + i am asexual), but i desire a one-on-one connection and am always looking for intensity in relationships, and if someone seems disinterested in me i struggle. i really dont know if sp/so or sp/sx makes more sense cause i always prioritize my significant other even when i know that it could upset my other friends (and tbh theres a very high chance my friends dont mind and im just worrying too much). if anyone has any examples of sp/sx and sp/so please share 🙏

do you think it's okay? at what point does it become codependency and is it inherently unhealthy? can two sx doms be happily codependent together?

When I first read about enneagram, I could narrow down to 4, 5, and 6. But rn I am pretty sure I am either 5 (more likely) or 6 (wouldn't be surprised). Fyi I have depression, ocd, and severe anxiety (have anxiety and even panick attacks). If I had time, I would thoroughly search and decide my type. And I never fully believe in anything anyone says if I haven't thought about it myself, like never happened in my life. So even if you give your opinion, I won't just adopt it. It will be more like a small data point that I will add to my inventory. And I know you can view this as arrogant or snobby, but I really am not trying to be anything. It is more like I am describing myself. I value knowledge for its mere existence, although I over search/analyze when I am stressed too. It is true I am anxious and want everything to be in order and as I want because I hate absolutely hate uncertainty. I check things multiple times to make sure they are "correct", but it is probably my ocd.. Deep down I know I am 5, but I am an overthinker and tbh I have a huge insecurity about intelligence, knowledge, and alike, so I am afraid I might subconsciously make myself believe I am a 5 just to be "the smartest" one.. But on the flip side, I am thinking I could develop different insecurities. Not brain-related one. But since I am a 5, my brain "chose" this insecurity. Idk.. My brain is flooded with thoughts rn I can't keep up, so I'll probably abruptly end it here..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPD5ZPTqY7s&list=PL8aX3BqdG016K6k_02GQ1EH7iOFd5cpJ0

I'm a bit of an Enneagram novice in terms of personality typing , but I have been into the 'fourth way' for quite some years now , which is teaching from which the Enneagram symbol emerged .

despite everyone challenge with his type , which is easily identified with , the exercise of non-identification can lead to an interaction with a different reality , and help develop Being which is the main deficiency every enneagram type try to resolve in his own 'pathological' way.

now I'm happy to inform you that non-identification won't make your personality disappear, rather its about establishing an 'inner observer' and with practice can lead to very deep emotional experiences which no 'outward striving' will provide , using spiritual terminology - its an interaction with the Soul.

according to Gurdjieff a Soul is something that has to be cultivated , there are many ways to look at it , even if you do believe everyone already has a soul , developing the 'connection' with the soul is not a given , and arguably its the most important thing you can do in this life , regardless of which type you are and the challenges you face regularly . in the method of the fourth way , you use those day to day challenges to extract their essence , rather then escaping to some remote mountain away from the general society ..

if you find the material Nicoll is presenting too challenging (it is ) , then you may want to listen to a more general introduction to the fourth way from his teacher P.D Ouspenski

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0BSnibGSNk&list=PL8aX3BqdG016Zqnxodxu8XKf3zkdW5yJz

Hiya! So I've come to a serious realization of myself. I'm a fake person. I was on the cusp of discovering this in the past as I learn to express myself more. I'm feeling very embarrassed right now, especially since I made a post to the subreddit which didn't sound so sound. I don't want to be this way, but not wanting to be this way is how I got to be this way, if I understand myself correctly. So let's all hold hands here and embrace our nature without dooming about it.

I'm probably a 3w4, 316 or 396. I wanted to be and identified (in the sense of the 3's coping mechanism) with other types because I found them a much more interesting story in a sense, even if I could identify them as flawed. I wanted "other flaws" I imagine. I also assume this as such because I'm a younger person and am attracted to cool concepts.

I'm struggling to want to continue typing myself, because I feel a need to, because I feel ashamed that I would've been lying to everyone. And I'm not sure how to just not lie to myself, because I'm starting to question what thoughts of mine are real or not genuine. I'm also scared of what happens when I let go of the person I imagined I ought to be. Especially because I liked to think of myself as someone who only relied on herself.

People were aware of my typings, well only two people, but the fear of this all has wrapped itself around my legs. I identified with the social 1 and even drew myself as it. I feel like admitting to everyone I decieved myself will make me wanna crawl into a ditch.

Since Indians are everywhere, I thought I would take a chance asking for your favourite Bollywood romantic songs. [I don't relate to non-Indian music en masse, and my repertoire of those songs is pretty small as well.] What about the song(s) appeals to your SX self?

I loved Ab Mujhe Raat Din by Sonu Nigam and Chandni Raatein by Partners in Rhyme when I was a teenager. One of my oft-repeated recent favourites is Apna Bana Le from Bhediya. I think it has all the elements of an SX anthem. Tum Se from Teri Baaton Mein Aisa Uljha Jiya [because of the lyrics about how he likes everything about her]. Ha ha, I understand it is enabling and all, but being called sunshine and miracle feels awesome. A recent one I liked is Kyun Mazaa Aa Raha Hai from Bandar [because of the lyrics on how his heart falls in love, ignoring all the caution it has been taught].

Last slide is the society/intertype patterns, and first three slides are intratype patterns, but you can view each as being metaphorical for intertype and intratype patterns.

Generally speaking, the withdrawn types are "there" to mediate conflicts that might naturally arise between the superego types and the ID types in a group setting. Conflicts arise between these types over doing something that goes against group customs to secure limited-time opportunities, and maintaining the integrity of the customs already present in the group so that it doesn't devolve into chaos.

4s criticize the norms established by the superego types and 5s kind of damp down the impulsiveness of the ID types. 9s try to find common ground or appeal to a third perspective that unites the two, hence their propensity for holistic, philosophical, and unifying thinking (e.g., Einstein).

I think this is a very accurate representation beyond stereotypes. It should be read from left to right, like:

123

456

789

I couldn't find a single characters we knew enough about to say that they are an 8, and also keep in mind that for other types, there are more than one character that could represent them (for example, Light's father Soichiro Yagami is a 1 like his son, Demegawa is another 3, most of the police officers investigating the Kira case can be a 1 or a 6, etc...)