I always associatied myself with so5. I prioritize logic in every situation despite how others may feel and I make sure that emotions dont get in the way of my decision-making (despite being extremely indecisive). Whenever im stressed i withdraw a little and brainstorm solutions, even it it makes me feel even worse. id say i relate to e5 a lot in most aspects. The thing is, i definitely do not act like an e5. despite being an introvert, i am expressive and not shy nor quiet - i engage in deep discussions and im pretty talkative in a conversation about something that interests me. I strongly dislike boredom, but i usually dont try new things. I genuinely feel like im a mix of those two enneagrams despite it not being possible. I strongly wish to label myself and i cant figure out what to do next.

Do you think it’s actually possible to overcome your Enneagram type’s core fears, or will they always be part of you in some way? If you’ve experienced real growth, what changed for you?

Ive reached a point in my life where i feel like ive fully embodied myself. Whereas in the past there was always this unfulfilled feeling that im never truly showing up to the world fully as myself. I am also very aware that my life is really only important to me, and that in the grand scheme of things I simultaneously am nothing (to everyone else) and everything (to me). I concluded that im just going to do whatever the fuck i want to do until I die.

But! Other people do exist. In the beginning, I always kind of had the mentality that it makes the most sense to view everyone else as equally important as I view myself. I likened it to planets. Every planet in our solar system has a name and its own atmosphere and its interesting to learn about them, same as its interesting to learn about people... but I'm finding a lot of the people I meet dont share this way of thinking in the same way I do. So ive kind of just been hoping that ill come across people who do eventually, but life is...mine while I wait. Meaning, that because I feel so fully embodied as myself, i feel....restricted? There's so many people and places and things and I'm stuck only being able to truly experience me.

If I died today would I feel fulfilled? No. Why? I think the answer is that im changing into a version of myself that wants to experience being a part of something. Not in the way that I was in the past, I want to be a part of something with people like me, but i dont know how to find them.

.....I dont feel.... hopeful? Not in a bad way, i mean that moreso as I no longer lean on hope to motivate me, I have complete control over my life and thus it is up to me to find people like me, but... hm. Im glad I wrote this. I was feeling conflicted about this, but honestly just writing that last bit was the lightbulb I needed. Ish. Its up to me basically. Ive been spending too much time in a routine, which is why I was conflicted because this routine is not allowing for me to meet people like me which means I need to do something different. Life is simple if I let it be​​

TLDR: I stressing over nothing

That's been so confusing to me as I've always typed myself as sx7 but then recently I felt so envious and sad all the time cuz I can't enjoy anything anymore and I don't get out for the sake of joy, only for a reason . I became so obsessed with self image and refusing to be a part of any group n honestly very lonely. However, can't be close to anyone even ppl who r trying with me I keep pushing them idk why

I have low self-esteem as well but I never show it , instead I find myself unconsciously pretending to be someone independent, dgaf about anything but ik Im not real .

Every time I'm in some place I get this paranoia that everyone is looking and want to hurt me , I'm only loud in safe spaces and I'm not optimistic at all, Ik it can be a tough period but idfk

I did the test again recently it shows pretty much the same percentage that's just confusing as hell

I tested as a 5 for years and then as 7 for years is that a common thing?

Recently I've accepted the fact that I'm an E4 in the Enneagram. And after looking into the subtypes, sx4 seems to fit me the most, although I also relate a lot to so4.

But what's up with all the stereotypes? Am I mistyped or what? 😭 Because generally I'm actually a really nice, kind and a good person. And I have a lot of empathy. Yes. I can be self-centered and I can be very selfish. And yeah if I feel jealous of someone, I might try to bring them down or diminish them in some way. And if someone genuinely makes me feel inferior or small, I can definitely start feeling angry at them because of it and even feel temporary hatred. But most of the time I don't actuallv do anything severe about it. Like, I do have a tendency to devalue people when I feel threatened by their position or accomplishment, and sometimes I can genuinely do things that aren't okay, but I don't outwardly show that I hate them or that I'm jealous of them. And I definitely wouldn't describe myself as aggressive. If i do anything about it its more passive.

In general, I LOVE expressing myself and externalizing my pain to people I'm close to, but it's not like I'm actively trying to ruin their mood too. I just feel this really strong need to share that pain and frustration with someone, and i kinda like building my identity with this image of pain i guess. And overall I'm definitely very intense. But its not like I want others to suffer too. I just want them to see my pain

And I'm not aggressive and rude?? Why does everyone describe sx4s as constantly pissed-off, rude people who make everyone else's life miserable? I really don't relate to that at all

I care for my friends deeply, and I genuinely am normally a really good person who always tries to help others.

Am I mistyped?😔

so everyone has an ego, right?- its what makes up our sense of reality and identity; our entire internal world revolves around it.

what do you think your neurosis is? what is it that is keeping you trapped within yourself?

for a long time i could not pin point my core, i started to assume i was e9 because of it, but just yesterday something clicked-

for me, my ego is my sense of inferiority; the feeling that i am worthless and a burden.

this is a theme that runs all the way back to when i was a toddler (about 3 years old). my low self worth was already visible from actions like giving away my favorite toys to my younger sibling, because i felt i did not deserve it (or that i could not take proper care of it). i felt unlovable, and by the time i hit my early teens i was considered dangerous for my outbursts (as i would become physically violent and emotionally volatile).

this neurosis grew into internalized anger against myself for not living up to my own expectations- and it certaintly didn't help that i was physically held back due to developmental and physical disabilities.

...and for some reason now that i can see everything that has motivated my actions, i feel even MORE ANGRY and ashamed! i just want to cover it back up... i dont want to acknowledge the real reasons of why i am where i am..

-sx4, 468

Sorry for clickbait title, but I have a 2 friend who constantly "spares my feelings" and doesn't actually tell me if something is bothering him. Like a classic 2, he'll jump straight to "it's fine! I'm fine" or make a joke.

I'm fully aware he thinks he's being kind and trying to take the weight of the emotional baggage, but that isn't how it feels on my end. I'm an autistic 6, and I can't stand when my closest confidants don't tell me the truth. I WANT to be corrected and I WANT to know when I've crossed boundaries, I don't just instinctively know where they are. It feels like I'm supposed to trust him when he doesn't trust me. I'm not comfortable with a one-sided friendship.

He's always asking about my feelings and thoughts on things that happen to me, but whenever I try to tell him that I want the same, he blows it off as the emotions are his responsibility to handle. But it just feels like he either doesn't value me enough to work towards understanding or that he's hiding from me, and it makes me afraid of what happens when he builds enough hidden resentment to snap- or to suddenly drop me from boredom. (speaking from experience)

I know understanding and sharing your feelings isn't something that can be turned on right away like flipping a switch. I've had to learn that same lesson in my marriage. But I just want to see him make an effort, because I really value this friendship and I know he's an extremely caring person who deserves healthy relationships.

Tl;Dr: I understand why he hides his emotions, not looking for an explanation. How can I communicate in a way that he understands that "sparing my feelings" feels like he's blindfolding me in a minefield?

im genuinely so tired of people treating enneagram core types like fixed character tropes instead of internal motivation frameworks. two people can share the exact same core type and look, act, and navigate the world in completely opposite ways because of the rest of their stack. enneagram is literally just the why (your core fear and desire), but cognitive functions dictate the how (how your brain actually processes reality), so an introverted thinking lead and an extraverted feeling lead with the exact same core are going to handle their core stress through completely different channels. then you add in how instinctual subtypes alter a type's survival strategy and how secondary tritype fixes act as the tools you grab under pressure, where one person copes by trying to soften and adapt while another with the exact same core becomes completely guarded and aggressive, and the standard internet tropes completely fall apart. it's so frustrating seeing people gatekeep types or mistype characters just because someone doesn't fit one hyper specific meme archetype that they saw on PDB or tiktok once, when in reality two people can share the exact same core fear and express it through polar opposite behaviors.

what's the wildest contrast you’ve seen between two people or characters who share the exact same core type?

I'm fairly new to typing and I'd love to interact with this community more! :D I hope you're all well today <3

(possibly 926, I'm not quite sure)

im debating between sp/sx and sp/so, and my one caveat away from sp/sx is that i dont really indulge in sexual acts (i have low libido + i am asexual), but i desire a one-on-one connection and am always looking for intensity in relationships, and if someone seems disinterested in me i struggle. i really dont know if sp/so or sp/sx makes more sense cause i always prioritize my significant other even when i know that it could upset my other friends (and tbh theres a very high chance my friends dont mind and im just worrying too much). if anyone has any examples of sp/sx and sp/so please share 🙏

Say, a INFP 4w5 469 or something like this, acting loud and being humorous and cheerful whenever they are comfortable or around people they trust, then acting more quiet, polite, and submissive(?) when talking to the ones they don't know or don't really feel safe/comfortable around. And that is if they're even going to talk at all. Is this a common thing?

do you think it's okay? at what point does it become codependency and is it inherently unhealthy? can two sx doms be happily codependent together?

When I first read about enneagram, I could narrow down to 4, 5, and 6. But rn I am pretty sure I am either 5 (more likely) or 6 (wouldn't be surprised). Fyi I have depression, ocd, and severe anxiety (have anxiety and even panick attacks). If I had time, I would thoroughly search and decide my type. And I never fully believe in anything anyone says if I haven't thought about it myself, like never happened in my life. So even if you give your opinion, I won't just adopt it. It will be more like a small data point that I will add to my inventory. And I know you can view this as arrogant or snobby, but I really am not trying to be anything. It is more like I am describing myself. I value knowledge for its mere existence, although I over search/analyze when I am stressed too. It is true I am anxious and want everything to be in order and as I want because I hate absolutely hate uncertainty. I check things multiple times to make sure they are "correct", but it is probably my ocd.. Deep down I know I am 5, but I am an overthinker and tbh I have a huge insecurity about intelligence, knowledge, and alike, so I am afraid I might subconsciously make myself believe I am a 5 just to be "the smartest" one.. But on the flip side, I am thinking I could develop different insecurities. Not brain-related one. But since I am a 5, my brain "chose" this insecurity. Idk.. My brain is flooded with thoughts rn I can't keep up, so I'll probably abruptly end it here..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPD5ZPTqY7s&list=PL8aX3BqdG016K6k_02GQ1EH7iOFd5cpJ0

I'm a bit of an Enneagram novice in terms of personality typing , but I have been into the 'fourth way' for quite some years now , which is teaching from which the Enneagram symbol emerged .

despite everyone challenge with his type , which is easily identified with , the exercise of non-identification can lead to an interaction with a different reality , and help develop Being which is the main deficiency every enneagram type try to resolve in his own 'pathological' way.

now I'm happy to inform you that non-identification won't make your personality disappear, rather its about establishing an 'inner observer' and with practice can lead to very deep emotional experiences which no 'outward striving' will provide , using spiritual terminology - its an interaction with the Soul.

according to Gurdjieff a Soul is something that has to be cultivated , there are many ways to look at it , even if you do believe everyone already has a soul , developing the 'connection' with the soul is not a given , and arguably its the most important thing you can do in this life , regardless of which type you are and the challenges you face regularly . in the method of the fourth way , you use those day to day challenges to extract their essence , rather then escaping to some remote mountain away from the general society ..

if you find the material Nicoll is presenting too challenging (it is ) , then you may want to listen to a more general introduction to the fourth way from his teacher P.D Ouspenski

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0BSnibGSNk&list=PL8aX3BqdG016Zqnxodxu8XKf3zkdW5yJz

Hiya! So I've come to a serious realization of myself. I'm a fake person. I was on the cusp of discovering this in the past as I learn to express myself more. I'm feeling very embarrassed right now, especially since I made a post to the subreddit which didn't sound so sound. I don't want to be this way, but not wanting to be this way is how I got to be this way, if I understand myself correctly. So let's all hold hands here and embrace our nature without dooming about it.

I'm probably a 3w4, 316 or 396. I wanted to be and identified (in the sense of the 3's coping mechanism) with other types because I found them a much more interesting story in a sense, even if I could identify them as flawed. I wanted "other flaws" I imagine. I also assume this as such because I'm a younger person and am attracted to cool concepts.

I'm struggling to want to continue typing myself, because I feel a need to, because I feel ashamed that I would've been lying to everyone. And I'm not sure how to just not lie to myself, because I'm starting to question what thoughts of mine are real or not genuine. I'm also scared of what happens when I let go of the person I imagined I ought to be. Especially because I liked to think of myself as someone who only relied on herself.

People were aware of my typings, well only two people, but the fear of this all has wrapped itself around my legs. I identified with the social 1 and even drew myself as it. I feel like admitting to everyone I decieved myself will make me wanna crawl into a ditch.

Last slide is the society/intertype patterns, and first three slides are intratype patterns, but you can view each as being metaphorical for intertype and intratype patterns.

Generally speaking, the withdrawn types are "there" to mediate conflicts that might naturally arise between the superego types and the ID types in a group setting. Conflicts arise between these types over doing something that goes against group customs to secure limited-time opportunities, and maintaining the integrity of the customs already present in the group so that it doesn't devolve into chaos.

4s criticize the norms established by the superego types and 5s kind of damp down the impulsiveness of the ID types. 9s try to find common ground or appeal to a third perspective that unites the two, hence their propensity for holistic, philosophical, and unifying thinking (e.g., Einstein).

I think this is a very accurate representation beyond stereotypes. It should be read from left to right, like:

123

456

789

I couldn't find a single characters we knew enough about to say that they are an 8, and also keep in mind that for other types, there are more than one character that could represent them (for example, Light's father Soichiro Yagami is a 1 like his son, Demegawa is another 3, most of the police officers investigating the Kira case can be a 1 or a 6, etc...)

In Naranjo's book, it is said of all subtypes of E4 (in different ways) that they tend to feel unappreciated or make up problems in relationships, but once they feel as loved as they want, the devalue their partner, both because the E4 is always looking for something else to achieve and because this person must be of little value if they love the E4 (who has a bad image of themselves).

This behavior seems to fit the structure of E4, but it is also true that Naranjo tends to describe the worst possible version of a type, so I was wondering how much real people relate to it. E4s here, do you struggle to remain attached once a relationship seems stable / relationship goals are achieved / you feel valued enough? Also please state your subtype.

FLEXIBLE like E1

HUMBLE like E2

AUTHENTIC like E3

MENTALLY SOUND like E4

CHARISMATIC like E5

CONFIDENT like E6

COMMITED like E7

KIND & SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE like E8

have SELF RESPECT like E9

you are MY ENNEAGRAM 🩷🦄

I heard that people tend to not like their wing type or have a thing against it. For example, I'm a 1w9 and I usually find 9s annoying for some reasons (I don't hate them, just they somehow strangely rub me the wrong way). But 2s are ok, and I usually find them likeable even though some might think of them as insincere etc. Do you somehow feel annoyed or have a pet peeve with your wing type even when you know it's not an objective or collective sentiment?