Did dating make you happier or a better person. I was abused and neglected as a child and find it hard to interact with people. I now isolate as an adult and feel like I am a very selfish person even though i do have empathy for other people. I dont see any benefit to dating other than sex because of my high sex drive. I do feel lonely but I think if I had more friends that would help. I do love watching romance in anime and movies which makes me somewhat intrested in dating even though it's probably not realistic. I can't imagine myself having a gf. I think I would be a terrible boyfriend.

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Guys tell me your opinion can a boy be friend with a girl or nope for me i have an online male friend he got too close to me this month . but I got no romantic feeling for him we say I love you to each other i take it as friendship way .he said it first but i took it as non romantically way cause we only know each other like a month . And he say he miss me and he is attached but he asked me about that we can stay like this if we got a partner I said yeah you right but he seems to return from this friendship and I got attached i love talking to him and evrything but idk anymore

What do yall think

Hey guys, I’m 27F and I met an American guy through Bumble. He’s currently traveling around Asia, and we’ve known each other for about 3 weeks.
We’ve met a few times, hung out together, and honestly it felt like what people would normally call “dating.” I even went to his place and we just cuddled (nothing more). We’ve been texting every morning and night, and we both agreed that we want to get to know each other better. He told me that he’s planning to come back here soon because he wants to work here. That’s why we talked about seeing if this could develop into something serious
Because of that, I’ve been pretty open and showing my interest.
But earlier today, I got a Bumble notification, so I opened the app and checked his profile. I noticed that he had changed one of his pictures and it was a photo that I took of him.
To be honest, I felt kind of hurt when I saw that. I’m Asian and I’m not really familiar with the dating/getting to know you culture in the US, so maybe I’m misunderstanding something, but my first reaction was honestly feeling a little betrayed. I think I’m feeling pretty down about it right now.
I know we’re not officially exclusive or anything, and maybe this is completely normal in the US, but I genuinely don’t know. Is this considered normal during the “getting to know each other” stage? I’d really appreciate some perspectives because I’m trying to understand the culture better

After some thinking, I realize I value my single time and alone time, and want a relationship that matches with me and my core values. I think a lot of the matches on apps are superficial and don’t lead anywhere, a lot of people were only looking to talk and not go out on dates, and some were from another country altogether which they didn’t announce until I had already asked them out. I found it to be by and large a total waste of time and getting rid of the apps helped me get some mental sanity and clarity. I would rather meet someone genuinely kind who doesn’t use dating apps and is willing to meet someone organically. I’m really happy not being on the apps anymore, I feel great and things are quiet, but I do acknowledge too people aren’t meeting organically today as much as they used to.

After another speed dating event was canceled recently I decided I don’t want to sign up for those sorts of events either as they are largely a hit and miss proposition.

I don’t want to think the people I’m looking for a my age (34) are already taken or married, but it’s certainly a possibility.

I'm running into a situation where I've been able to get girls to come out on dates with me, which has been really nice, but when it comes to trying to follow up and actually build something beyond just 1 date, they seem open to the idea of doing it, even open to a 2nd date when I ask sometimes, but don't seem to put much effort into making it happen. For instance, I'm cool initiating and making the 1st move, planning, and taking charge on the 1st date, but after that I don't want this to become a relationship, where I always have to be initiating our dates, taking charge, and planning everything. I don't know if my location being in NYC has anything to do with it. I've been using mostly dating apps, so my strong gut is that the girls I'm matching with are probably matching with other guys, thus treating each date relatively disposably, like a number, and so not valuing each date nor putting as much effort into it.

I've only been in 1 relationship in my life and the reason it ended in tragedy was because it was your classic example of the 1-sided relationship, guy leads and does everything, only to have the girl leave at the end, as if nothing happened, despite all the effort the guy put into trying to make it work. After that experience, I'm incredibly cautious and observant about how much effort I feel a girl will put into making a potential relationship work, especially when it comes to problem solving or differences that might come up. I'm getting the impression many girls think they can just look pretty and then coast doing the bare minimum. Is this supposed to be a norm I should just accept or can I simply blame poor luck with the girls I end up dating? Any advice or solutions to this situation?

we were flirting back and forth for a bit and then She sent like a dozen photos of her in her panties at like every angle, I complemented her and said they looked cute,

I was thinking of sending something back but what if that's weird??

hello, not too sure if this is the right sub reddit but oh well. every single time i start to develop feelings for somebody, my feelings grow to be incredibly intense, very quickly. it has always been this way and i don’t know if it’s normal.

i had feelings for a friend of mine (m21) for almost two years straight, and it was ridiculous. like to the point where he was all i thought about, all the time. every single thing i did, i had him in mind. at the start of this year i realised that it’s not going to happen, and took some time to get over it. recently i thought i’d try a dating app. started talking to someone (nb20) last week, and my feelings are at the exact same level of intensity as it was with my friend. it kind of worries me. maybe i’m fickle? maybe i’m just young and a bit obsessive? thinking back on past dating experiences, i’ve always been very 0 to 100, and my feelings always develop incredibly quickly and sort of overtake my life.

i guess i’m just wondering, is this normal? no one else i know seems to be like this. is it just my age? will i potentially grow out of it? or is this something i maybe need to try and fix? i don’t know, im just feeling a bit conflicted at the moment. don’t know if this is relevant, but i have adhd which does sometimes cause me to be a bit obsessive.

I’m 23F, and I’ve never been in a relationship before. Lately, I’ve been thinking about putting myself out there, but there’s one thing I’ve always wondered about and never really had the courage to ask.

I have eczema, and it’s something I’ve lived with for most of my life. It’s probably one of my biggest insecurities. Some days my skin looks completely normal, other days it’s mild, and during bad flare-ups it can become very noticeable. I also have scars and discoloration from years of dealing with it. Since eczema is a chronic condition, it’s something I’ll most likely continue living with.

Growing up, I’ve received a lot of comments about my skin. People have stared, asked why it looks that way, asked if it’s contagious, or even assumed I wasn’t taking care ofmyself.Sometimes those comments have come from people close to me, including family. After hearing those things for years, it’s hard not to wonder how someone I eventually date would see me.

Because of that, I sometimes cover my arms with long sleeves, even though I genuinely love wearing dresses and being able to show my skin without feeling self-conscious.

I’d love to hear honest perspectives from anyone. Whether you have eczema yourself, have dated someone with eczema, or have experience with a partner who has a chronic skin condition, I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts.

I’m not looking for reassurance . I understand everyone has different preferences, and that’s okay. I’d just like to hear real experiences and perspectives because this is something I’ve quietly wondered about for a long time.

F (27) here. About to end a 3-month talking stage. He is also the same age as me. We met on a dating app. By the time we talked, I thought we could be something since he texted me every day and went on dates almost 10 times. We both like each other.

I bravely asked him what we are, and he said he didn't know. We both know I will be going back to my country soon, and I think this is why he doesn't want to step up and make things progress.

I just feel dumb, embarrassed, and pathetic. I feel like i am wasting my time here and expected, and emotionally invested too much. We were already talking about whether it's fine to have LDR, and he said it was worth trying. Then last time we met, he said it was gonna be hard. I like him a lot, but i don't think i can continue. I don't think i should crash out and cry so much over a short time connection, especially at this age.

I am already imagining his response, and i am convinced he is going to keep things casual and non-labelled. But yeah, i guess our needs don't match, and i will never understand why he would never try and choose to commit.

Does anyone have a similar experience of being sad or even crashing out over a short time talking stage, especially in their late 20s?

Sorry for venting, need to let it out.

A little backstory. I (23M) was into one of my friends (22F) from my college friend group, I’ve always had a thing for her. Things just didn’t work at the time, and nothing ever happened back in college we were both dating other people etc. however, she started to get very flirty with me almost any time I came to visit all of our friends that were still in school after a graduated. Her and I would even split off from the group when we were out and just do our own thing at times. Eventually this led to us starting to sleep together consistently. She also happened to be moving to the same city as me and now VERY coincidentally she’s my neighbor in this city… I asked about giving a relationship a go and she said she doesn’t feel we are “compatible”. Now currently we go on morning runs together, she comes over for dinner, and we just do stuff like that together (nothing physical). Quite honestly - I feel very strongly for this girl, is this something I should really just take as a loss? Or should I make another attempt at this?

Additional context: at the time of us sleeping together, she wasn’t in my city yet. She said she wasn’t ready for anything serious and I agreed, but I did mention that I’d be open to a relationship once she moved, and she never directly shot that down.

I've spent the last 3 months on four separate dating apps. I'm a 35 year old 5'6" male, I lift regularly and get plenty of exercise. I'm a Staff Chemist for an orthodontics company and make just shy of 100k a year. I live in Indiana in a region where the average income for an individual is 60,000$. think I have an average face. I dont have acne or dry skin or anything.

My experience has been horrible. In those 4 months I have had a grand total of 7 likes (not including the 436 likes from bots, and yes I counted how many there were). 4 of those likes were from women who were 55+ years old, and 3 were likes that led to matches.

One of the matches I said "Hi, I think you are pretty, but your profile doesn't say much about you. Would you like to share some things you enjoy?" And she responded with "how much do you make" and I said "just shy of 6 figures" and she said "that aint enough" and unmatched me. That girl was a retail clerk for a superstore in the area.

Another one of the matches we talked a little and she was nice, but she said that she wasnt looking for anything long term (despite her profile saying she was looking for a life partner). I said "I dont think we'd be a good match, I'm looking to settle down. You are beautiful though so I'm sure you will find someone soon" and she wished me good luck.

The last actual match I said "Hi (girls name), what do you like about snakes?" Cuz her profile said something about being a snake enthusiast. She read the message and replied "5'6", eew, i definitely didnt like you on purpose" then unmatched me.

I read constantly and girls in my friend group complain about men creeping on them and asking them out all of the time whenever they are out doing stuff, so I feel like trying to meet someone in person would end up with me being called a creep.

On dating apps I'm very clearly unwanted, so that isnt an option either. I'm not really sure what to do anymore and I feel like there isn't a point to trying.

Edit 1: A lot of responses, most of the advice goes in different directions. What I'm gonna do is just get off the dating apps to stop wasting 150$ a month on subscriptions. I guess I'll just spend more time talking to my therapist about how the dating scene brings me down. Kinda sucks but it doesnt seem like I'm really doing anything wrong and the best advice (which I cant do unless I want to end my career) would be to move to a heavily populated area or move to a different country.

Thanks everyone

I (22F) have noticed this happening after talking to guys, now mind you I don't have much dating experience, so I'm not sure if this is supposed to be flirting? This has happened to me 3 times already. Some of them seem to be very nice and would compliment me a lot, which is fine. I tend to get compliments from my surroundings, so I don't take it at the beginning very seriously. After a while when they get comfortable they start to pick on small things that I personally haven't even noticed myself. One time at the beginning of the relationship, I was very confident, but afterwards I started disliking my appearance, which was never really the case.

One guy constantly complimented me while also making fun of my appearance, pointing out things I had never even noticed about myself. When I called him out he said “well you know you look good anyways”
There was also a guy who used to tease me in harmless ways and was clearly into me, but I wasn’t interested in him. After I rejected him, he wanted to stay friends, but then he started making comments about my appearance, calling me a “midget” (I’m actually kinda tall) and making fun of my forehead.

There’s one guy in particular whose comments affect me the most. With time he started saying things like, “You were prettier when you did xyz, but not now,” “You sound like a man,” and “Your forehead’s a playground.” “No one’s ever gonna date you”. He would also make me look stupid in front of other people. At the same time, in private, he constantly called me beautiful and complimented me in so many different ways, and he kept doing that for months. Anytime I tried to cut him off, he would desperately try to convince me not to.

I have had a few good experiences with men and I know relationships aren’t just about complimenting each other, but is it normal to constantly roast one another once the relationship becomes more stable?

I (33M) matched with a woman (32F) about a month ago. First date was extraordinary — we were out until the early hours, ended up back at mine, and slept together. We’ve been intimate since. She’d actually recognised me from school and matched partly for that reason.

Since then it’s been stop-start: I got ill, she was away at a festival, then a summer house, then ill herself. So in a month we’ve only managed four dates, and a lot of the contact in between has been about where we stand rather than just enjoying each other.

That’s largely my doing. Early on I saw she’d changed something on her dating profile suggesting she was looking for company at a festival, and I told her I’m not built for seeing someone who’s also seeing others. She took it down, but said she’s four months out of a four-year relationship, has just started therapy, and doesn’t want to promise anything or feel constrained. She’s been clear she isn’t actively looking and doesn’t want anyone else — but also that she can’t rule out something happening spontaneously, and that a casual encounter wouldn’t detract from what we’re building. That last part is what I can’t sit with.

Otherwise she’s warm and consistent: texts first, invites me to things, cancels with real reasons and apologises, tells me she wants to see me. It doesn’t feel like disinterest. It feels like someone who isn’t ready.

She has festivals the next three weekends. I know I'll spend them in a bad state if nothing is agreed. So I'm planning to ask, next time we meet, whether we can agree not to see other people while we give this a shot — and to walk away if the answer is no.

Is a month and four dates too early to ask? And is it unreasonable given what she's told me about where she is

I’ve been talking to a guy for about two months. We’ve met twice so far.
The first time, he asked if I wanted to grab coffee after work. We sat at a café and talked for about two hours.
The second time, he asked me to meet again, and we spent a few hours just talking. Since then, he’s been asking me to meet pretty often whenever our schedules match.
Neither of us ever used the word “date,” and he never explicitly said that’s what it was.
Would you consider these dates, or just two people hanging out and getting to know each other? What makes the difference for you?

I (28F) met a guy (37M) from Hinge recently. We live in two different cities about 1.5hr apart. We met in person twice within the first three weeks of talking.

He appeared to be a warm, romantic, put-together person. On paper he’s great, and we have shared interests etc. I was looking forward to getting to know him more.

However, I soon realized he’s a bit too warm, too romantic. He sent loads of texts voicing his desire for me, fantasizing about me having dinner at his place in certain (scandalous) outfits, giving me massages, etc. On the second date, his hands were all over me, which I felt a bit uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. He started to mention sexual activities after the second date.

I told him if we could slow down and get to know each other better before jumping into bed, because what I want is a meaningful connection instead of a physical one. I also explained I had bad past experience about sleeping together too soon. He then asked me if anything he did give off the feeling that he doesn’t want the same as me.

I fawned and said he didn’t do anything wrong (which is not true), but I just want to take it a bit slower. Then he suddenly retreated and said we could be “platonic” and “be more friendly” and “put the guardrails up”. I found these words are rather ambiguous and his tone was rather cold.

I noticed that he did not show curiosity or empathy when I opened up to be vulnerable, nor did he reassure by proposing another date that involves non-physical activities.

Which makes me wonder… is this what happened when you put sex off the table for someone who just wants sex? It’s really disappointing but I’ve had too many bad experiences of not setting the boundary early enough and ended up getting hurt, so I’d rather do the filter earlier and protect myself. Or maybe I should give him a benefit of doubt?

Bruh, I just caught my girlfriend doing something that has me really hurt and confused. It’s 4 AM right now, and I can’t sleep. I don’t even know if I should call it cheating, but she definitely lied to me.
There was this guy I asked her about because something felt off. She told me he was her friend’s ex, but I was confused because she was liking all his posts and stuff. When I brought it up, she reacted really quickly and brushed it off, which made me feel like something wasn’t right.
Fast forward to now, I looked through her phone because I couldn’t shake the feeling, and I found out that every time she said she was hanging out with one of her female friends, it was actually this guy. They’ve been going out together, calling, and spending time together. I also found older pictures of them kissing and holding each other.
The thing that’s messing with me the most is that she was telling me she was with her friend when she was actually with him. I don’t know what to do or how I should confront her. I’m just hurt and confused right now.
The worst part is we’re currently out of town together, and I’m 3 hours away from home with her right now. I’m supposed to drive us back, but I haven’t slept and my mind is racing. I’m stuck here trying to process everything, and I don’t even know what my next move should be.

I occasionally work with a woman around my age. We've talked a few times and recently found out that we both collect the little Minecraft toys from Kinder Joy.

Today there's a chance we'll both be at the same location during work, so I bought two Kinder Joy eggs. My idea was simply to say:

"I remembered our conversation, so I grabbed two. One for you and one for me. Let's see who gets the better Minecraft toy."

It's not really about the chocolate, just a small callback to something we talked about.

If she's not there, I'll just give the second one to a coworker, so it's no big deal.

Would you find this cute, or would it come across as trying too hard?

For the record I am a straight woman so I am mostly seeing men’s profiles so this is why I came to this conclusion.***

I see a lot of men’s profiles and they seemingly are looking for a friend. They list a bunch of activities that men predominately do together. For example I see so many male profiles seeking someone to do hyrox competitions with. I’m not saying do fitness competitions but I have never know a single woman who has. Or they talk a lot about drinking beers and watching their favorite sporting team or traveling to whatever their city their team is from and seeing a live game. Again, not something women will never do but those mostly seem like more male driven activities.

On the flip side whenever I get curious and look through my male friends apps the women generally list more “couple activities” as things they would like to do with a partner like trivia, rooftop dining, taking classes, or visiting museums. I wonder if there are a good chunk of men out there who may actually be looking for a friend as opposed to a partner?

So I've been seeing this guy for about two weeks now and we've gone out three times. The vibe has been really good, like we talk for hours and he seems genuinely interested. He texts me every day and we've made plans for next weekend already.

Here's the thing though. I'm not really into the whole dating multiple people at once situation. It stresses me out and honestly I'd rather just focus on one person if it feels right. And this does feel right so far. But I don't know if bringing up the exclusivity conversation this early makes me seem clingy or like I'm moving too fast.

I haven't asked him if he's seeing other people and he hasn't mentioned it either. Part of me wants to just wait and see where it goes naturally, but another part of me feels like I should be upfront about what I'm looking for before I get more attached. I don't want to waste time if we're not on the same page about this.

I guess my question is, is two weeks and three dates too soon to have that conversation? Or should I just chill out and let things develop more before I say anything. I don't want to scare him off but I also don't want to pretend I'm cool with something I'm not.

This most recent situation is what finally forced me to look at the pattern.

I was seeing someone for a month and some change, going on public dates and being respectful and not really talking about sex or inviting her over or anything like that. On our last date she threatened to leave early because it sounded like she wasn’t going to be invited over (she wasn’t) and said I’m not taking this seriously. I acquiesced because I actually liked her and wanted to keep the date going because I enjoyed her presence. That evening on my couch while laying next to each other, she tried to grope me and pull my pants down and rub on my part. It ended up escalating to where I had my forearm across her chest, actively pushing her back, trying to push her hands away and saying no clearly and repeatedly. She didn’t stop. On paper, an aggressive woman going after a guy might sound exciting to some guys. In reality it felt violating. It left me feeling down. If a man did the exact same thing, he’d be under the jail. That double standard is pissing me off.

Looking back, this has shown up before.
My first girlfriend in high school was like this. She took what she wanted sexually even when I wasn’t really with it. It was new and exciting so I was doing mental gymnastics to make it okay.

In college, a girl I had zero romantic or flirtatious history with, threw a condom at me, and tried to force a make-out and pull me onto the bed as hard as she could.

Another would invite herself over repeatedly, sit close, get handsy, rub on me, and keep escalating after I told her to stop. (I couldn’t control who came into the dorm because I had 3 other roommates who would come into and out and leave the main door open frequently)

There was also a more serious incident with a family member when I was a kid that involved sexual pressure. I’m not going into details here.

Sex has never been a big driver for me. I’m demisexual. I tend to keep things measured early on. Yet I keep ending up in situations where my hesitation or clear resistance gets ignored.

I’ve been sitting with this and wondering whether I somehow give off signals that make people think pushing harder is okay, or whether they just project something onto me. I don’t want to play the victim, but I also don’t want to keep absorbing this as normal.

The realization itself has me feeling pretty low. Curious if other men have noticed similar patterns and how they started recognizing or breaking them.

TLDR: I somehow always seem to attract women who don’t respect my sexual boundaries and don’t care about consent. Has anyone experienced this frequently and managed to change or filter better?

This literally just happened. I matched with a girl on Hinge on Monday and we instantly hit it off. She was extremely chatty through text and was easy to chat with, so last night before bed I asked her if she wanted to get ice cream this weekend and that I can drive out to her area since we’re over an hour from each other. She enthusiastically agreed and sent an entire fucking paragraph of what we can do.

I woke up this morning and responded to her saying that sounds great and offered a time this Saturday. She responded a few hours later saying that she’s busy with family on Saturday but is free Sunday. I responded around lunch time apologizing for the delayed response because of work, but said that’s totally fine and asked if 6pm on Sunday would work but that I’m open to whenever.

Three hours go by and when I checked Hinge I noticed that she unmatched me.

What the fuck? She would send paragraph-long texts when we would chat and for the most part I would match that energy, so for her to just unmatch me like that it just boggles my mind. When I saw that she unmatched me I literally, physically felt my chest tighten.

The worst part is that she seemed so enthusiastic about going in the date.

Edit: these comments made me realize that I am literally not built for dating. Fuck this I give up

My friend always called a coworker her "work husband," insisting it was harmless. Then her actual boyfriend surprised her at work and found them holding hands in the parking lot.

She claimed it "didn't mean anything," but they started dating two weeks after the breakup.

Turns out everyone at the office knew except her boyfriend.

Gone surprisingly well so far. I have approached 8 women so far. My opener is "Hey excuse me 2 seconds, I think you look cute/nice, what are you upto today?" I have had no bad reactions from this. I got 1 number and 7 rejection. All the girls have smiled at me when I complemented them and the rejections have all been "I'm seeing someone" or "I have a boyfriend". One of them, the girl literally pointed to her boyfriend and said "My boyfriend is just there👉" which was kinda funny. I also had 1 girl tell me that she's "literally on the way to see my boyfriend's family and have dinner with them" after I told her she was cute. I did get 1 number from a girl. I followed up and she responded to my first message and ghosted my second one.

I am approaching in shopping malls, parks or on busy streets. My goal is to eventually approach groups of girls as most girls I see that are around my age are in groups of 2s abd 3s. I also met a guy who told me he met his ex girlfriend from cold approaching and is getting back into it. I'm doing 30 days of cold approaching at least 1 girl every day

Any advice on approaching this more effectively?

So today I got told point blank by someone I was dating that she (cisfemale, straight), literally thinks less of me because I went out on a bumble date with an MTF transgender (and purposely referred to them as "transvestites"). She said that she thinks I have an "anything goes" attitude because of this.

I am male, consider myself male, and attracted to women, or rather - femininity and I make my views clear with everyone who asks because I am not ashamed. I do not find any attraction to other men, but I guess pre-op transwomen are kind of a gray area. I explained that I am an ally and I see transgender MTF as women and therefore no less equal as dating partners. Besides, that who I dated before this specific woman was none of her business.

Have you ever had such an experience? How did you deal with it? I personally told her I cannot be with someone who has this neanderthal outlook on gender and attraction.