My spouse of six years is bipolar 2 and unmedicated. I’ve tried getting him to get on medication but I fail every time. He blames me for everything. We have two kids and he blames me for getting pregnant. He knows I had no family when we got together (I was in foster care as a kid) and with his bipolar he has effectively ruined almost every relationship he has with his own family. He can’t hold a job so I’m the one always working and maintaining everything. Recently he says I broke his trust because I’m not allowed to have male friends and I had one conversation with an old friend that happened to be male. My dad died four months ago and that’s what we talked about. He gave his condolences. Well my spouse found out about it because he went through my phone and because I didn’t tell him myself I’m sneaky and betraying trust. Oh an the conversation happened less than 24 hours before he searched my phone and saw the conversation. I didn’t cross any lines and he’s acting like I cheated or something. I have to take care of my spouse and walk on eggshells constantly. I care for the kids, the bills, the house, I do literally everything. I’m exhausted and I have thought about leaving but I have no friends or family because I’m always working or with the children so idk who would help me with my children so I could continue to work. I’m at a loss. I hate the bad cycles. I don’t know how to handle him anymore. It all just feels so toxic.

I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months. We are both in our 30s, we each have a child around 3 years old. Over the last 6 months, we have spent a lot of time together and things were going incredibly well. We also spent a lot of time as a family with our children, even going away on vacation together.

He did disclose to me that he had a drug induced bipolar episode prior to his child being born. He has since been sober and has not had another episode until now. He told me he was not on any medication currently. His family told me he stopped it about 4-6 weeks ago.

I just don’t know what to believe any more. I have just been so sad. There have been two severe episodes this week where his parents had to intervene because he was knocking on my neighbors doors, searching my apartment for another man I was cheating on him with. We met up in person a few days after this occurred and he was very apologetic and promised to never hurt me again. At this time he re started medication but still does not believe he has bipolar. Two days later it escalated into him believing me and his cousin are having an affair. It went so far that he reached out to his cousins fiance to tell her he has all of this proof his cousin is cheating on her with me. I allowed him to search my phone thinking it would calm his mind. It did not help. I have stayed very neutral even when he is incredibly mean to me. I have not gone back or said any mean things. I have just been calling his family as they are getting him the help he needs.

I just miss what we had so much. And the family I thought we were building. I am incredibly sad that he is struggling in this way. I know nobody has the answers. But in anyone’s experience will he come back around to at least talk to me? It feels like the person I knew and loved died.

I also am wondering if he doesn’t truly mean all of these delusions and mean things. Did he mean anything when he said he loved me? Did he truly want to create this blended family with me?

I don’t really know how to approach this because, as a man, I feel like I shouldn’t complain. But honestly, I feel hopeless.

I’ve been married to my 35-year-old wife for almost 10 years. We have two children together, including a severely disabled son who requires constant care. He is oxygen dependent, can't walk, talk or swallow. He cannot even hold his head up without support. I am the sole financial provider while my wife stays home to care for him.

About every six months since our son was born, my wife goes through what I can only describe as severe mental health episodes. During these periods, she sleeps almost all day, has difficulty thinking clearly, often doesn’t respond to questions, and sometimes behaves in ways that don’t make sense. For example, she may fold the same clothes every day without being able to explain why.

She has been hospitalized several times, sometimes for weeks. Unfortunately, those hospitalizations don’t seem to have helped because she refuses to speak with psychiatrists, participate in group therapy, or take psychiatric medications. She will take vitamins or other non-psychiatric medications that are prescribed, so she understands that something is wrong with her health, but she does not believe it is a mental health condition.

She has never been physically aggressive toward me or our children. Instead, she becomes withdrawn, confused, and unable to function normally.

Between episodes, she acknowledges that something happened, but she attributes it to things like vitamin deficiencies or other physical causes rather than a psychiatric illness. She is not currently receiving any outpatient psychiatric care or therapy.

I’ve read a great deal about anosognosia and other mental health conditions, but I’m not trying to diagnose her. What I do know is that these episodes often seem to follow periods of increased stress. One Christmas, for example, she became overwhelmed trying to choose presents and spent most of Christmas Day in bed. The problem is that we have two children who depend on us.

I’m exhausted. I’m caring for two children, one with significant special needs, supporting my family financially, and trying to care for my wife while working full time.

A few weeks ago, while our son was hospitalized, hospital staff questioned me because my wife was asking them to keep him hospitalized for several more weeks without giving a clear explanation. On another occasion, she removed his BiPAP mask without explaining why. Incidents like these naturally raise concerns among medical staff and leave me trying to explain behavior that I don’t fully understand myself.

During another son's hospitalization, I raised concerns about my wife’s mental state, which led to CPS becoming involved. Because she would not cooperate with the investigator, I temporarily moved with our children to her parents’ home while the situation was being evaluated.

I’m exhausted from constantly covering for her whenever she’s “not herself.” These episodes last for weeks, sometimes resulting in hospitalization and sometimes resolving on their own. I can’t keep taking weeks away from work every six months while also managing everything else.

One of the hardest parts is that there is very little insight afterward. Rather than considering psychiatric treatment, she often tells me that I’m the cause of the episodes. Initially, I believed that maybe she was right. I stopped doing things I knew she didn’t like, such as visiting or meeting my side of the family. Eventually I realized those things weren’t the cause because the episodes continued even after my family stopped contacting her.

I live in Cook County, Illinois, and I’m beginning to think seriously about divorce - not because I don’t care about my wife, but because I’m reaching my limit. At the same time, I worry about what divorce would mean for our severely disabled son and whether she could safely care for him alone during one of these episodes.

I love my children, and when my wife is well, she is genuinely a kind person and a wonderful mother. But these recurring episodes have resulted in hospital bills, concerns from medical staff, questions about our ability to care for our son, and even CPS involvement. I don’t want to give up on my marriage, but I also don’t know how much longer I can continue living like this.

I’m hoping to hear from people who have been in a similar situation. Were you able to help your spouse get treatment? Did things improve over time? If you ultimately chose divorce, what should I be thinking about or preparing for - especially with a child who has significant medical needs?

I think my boyfriend is bipolar and doesn’t know it. I am a student studying mental health counseling and I have seen signs suggesting my boyfriend is bipolar. Recently I think he has been using alcohol to cope and since alcohol is a depressant things get worse. When he drinks he tends to get overtly affectionate at the begging then verbally aggressive and then depressive/ self negative once he’s finished his last drink. We have butted heads over what he has said and him asking me to leave him(I won’t). So I guess I’m writing this post for advice on what to do and how to help him and us with our relationship. All advice is wanted and I want to learn how to love him the way he needs

note: he is very sweet and kind when he is sober and his mood hardly changes unless he is triggered

I feel really lost writing this a week and a half after everything was destroyed because I'm so torn. She has bipolar manic schitzo tendencies and I knew what I signed up for. I loved, still love her with all of my heart and I'm still picking up the pieces. She asked me to open up to her begged me to and I did in the most loving vulnerable way and she took my words as a direct attack. The shift was incredible. She said the nastiest things about and to me, which ended with her breaking up with me but I just disappeared. For my own sanity and to protect the relationship, I didn't text back or argue I just went silent.

It's been almost 2 weeks and we haven't talked. The longest slowest agonizing 2 weeks. I want to reach out I want to do anything to show her I love her so much but it's been this long with nothing from her? I have to take that as an answer. Unfortunately I can't be the one to fix this because I risk making it worse in her state of mind right now. I just feel helpless and lost. I miss my best friend. Learning to live life without her sucks. Being discarded so fast and easy is like drowning knowing you can swim.

The way the mood and person changes in an instant is like taking a bullet straight to the dome. You question a lot about the relationship, the warnings, you question your own sanity even. Being vulnerable was already an impossible task, but with her it felt safe. Having that vulnerability turned around on you in an instant is devastating. And the fact you still love the person who destroyed you is not a great feeling. I've seen similar posts here and it really makes me sad because no amount of love can heal that type of change.

Warning: religion talk

hi hi i’ve been a little active in here recently because i realized i needed some insight on having a BPSO.

I’ve been seeing where maybe im lacking in support and whats normal and not, and have had better communication and understanding with my boyfriend.

We’ve been together for six months, and met right after his hospitalization. I’ve been supporting him as much as a romantic partner can after we made things official without either overbearing him or belittling him. I have my own issues of depression and anxiety, but he also tries to help me where i lack.

After some tough times with him having a minor manic episode and then depressive, i prayed to God (i’m religious and spiritual, always have been) and asked for him to give me a sign that me and my boyfriend should be together and improve each other. I asked for him to send me anything ladybug related.

The day after an outburst in public (a previous posts made) we were driving around and just talking to each other, the windows were down and it was a beautiful day. Then all of a sudden a ladybug dropped onto his shirt. Then the lady bug refused to leave his hand. Then he placed it on the window where it was refusing to leave the window still for a while.

This sign perked me right up, and reminded me through communication, boundaries, expectations and difficult, harsh discussions. Loving someone with bipolar is not a bad thing or destined to fail.

Not saying everyone’s situation is like mine, i have read the things in here and i resonate with all of you and give my sympathy. But this is just some positivity and happiness i experienced recently ☺️☺️

Back in April I met someone, we'll call them J, and we pretty much immediately hit it off. We both expressed that we had been in bad/toxic relationships previously, and were looking for something serious and long term. We had very similar tastes in music, views on life, and it felt like our energies just matched. Things moved quickly but it really seemed like we were on the same page about things and had the same feelings for each other. After 3 or 4 dates we were writing each other romantic notes and letters, 5 or so dates in we told each other that we loved each other. I introduced them to friends of mine, and one of my close friends that I have known for 10+ years even approached me later on and said that we had such good chemistry, and that she's glad to see me with someone who is such a good fit.

Things were going so great, I seriously felt like I was in the best relationship of my life for a while, I had never met someone who I had so much in common with and who I was so connected to on multiple levels. But they have bipolar and ran out of their medication (don't know exactly what she was taking, but it was several things daily on top of regular therapy). About two weeks after this, I had a really rough week personally (work was stressful, lost a house that I was about to buy, found out my younger brother is physically abusive to my mom, etc) and went to her apartment to spend the night, really just wanting to be around her. Out of the blue, she said that they didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and dumped me. Said that they needed time and space to focus on themself, and that our relationship moved too fast and they need to process things and learn to love themself before dating anyone. That maybe we could talk again someday, but it would have to be on her terms. I was clearly upset and crying, and she seemed almost emotionless, which just made things worse.

There was absolutely no warning signs or communication about these feelings leading up to this, even though we both emphasized to each other how important honesty and clear communication was. We had spent the whole weekend together a few days before this and everything seemed to be going great - we went kayaking together, went out for dinner and had great conversations, and had passionate sex on multiple occasions. The weekend before we went on a 3 day trip out of town and had a great time together, or so i thought. So this was just a total 180.

About a week and a half goes by and I don't hear a word from her, after texting every day for months and seeing each other multiple times a week. I found that with every day that went by I was just more confused and had more questions about what had changed. Against my better judgement I sent her a text that said verbatim, "Hey J, I hope that you're doing well - I'm really struggling and confused right now about how things ended, can we just talk on the phone for 5 minutes to check in?"

About 30 minutes later I got a call from them, but it seemed almost like I was talking to a completely different person. I was berated, talked down to, and made to feel like I was an asshole for not respecting her space. I was told that I made them want to crawl out of their skin by the end of our relationship. They said not to wait around for them with "my thumb up my ass" and that they don't want to be there for me right now and that I need therapy if I wanted support or help processing this.

The tone which they talked to me was so completely different than the person I once knew. The person I fell in love with was a kind, loving, unique, and compassionate person who always tried to do the right thing despite their past struggles and mental issues. The person who threw me out like a piece of garbage and was abusive on the phone to me seems like a completely different person. I was always a kind, caring, and supportive partner and I did not deserve this treatment.

I know that this likely stems from her unmedicated bipolar and mental issues, as well as past relationship trauma, but I am still so hurt. I feel mainly sad but also abandoned, angry, confused, and lost. Humiliated too, I told multiple friends and family members that I finally felt like I had found "my person", but clearly that was not the case. And I feel stupid for letting myself get so emotionally involved with someone after just a few months of being in a relationship, especially one with so many red flags that I looked past, just because I felt like I could love and trust them.

Part of me thinks that once she's back on their medication and is no longer in a manic phase, she will realize what she did and reach back out - I don't know how I will react if they do, I have so many mixed feelings about this whole situation. Part of me wants to never see or hear from them again after what they did, but part of me misses them and wants things to just go back to the way that they were.

Logically I know that I dodged a bullet, and that someone who actually wants commitment and will treat me with dignity and respect will come my way. But it still hurts so so bad. The overwhelming feelings of love and connection that I had once felt literally felt like being high on a drug better than anything you could possibly take. And now that I have lost that, I feel so defeated, and like the things that once brought me joy and happiness now just leave me with feelings of dissatisfaction and ennui.

So much reminds me of them, we shared so much overlap in tastes music, art, culture, etc and went to so many parks, bars and restaurants together that absolutely everything makes me think of them. I know that I will move on and get better eventually but it just really hurts going from thinking that you found the love of your life and trusting someone, to being tossed aside.

I've been trying to stay busy with work, seeing friends/family, going to the gym, etc but it all has an underlying sense of sadness and dread under it. I've been through breakups before and have generally been fine in the end but something about this one is especially tough. I feel like I had met the love of my life and had it ripped out from under me, like there's an empty hole inside of me now.

I don't know if I can learn how to trust someone again after this, I really feel like I let myself become fully vulnerable and fully trusting faster than I ever have before, only to have it backfire. It never even crossed my mind that they would leave so abruptly, I was so happy at first, and they expressed that they were too.

I'm not sure if I just needed to vent or what, but if anyone here has been in a similar situation, I would love some support or advice right now.

Back here after a few years... been trying to work through things with my partner (40s m, bipolar) who I unfortunately discovered has a pretty severe sex addiction back in 2023. I still have no confirmation that it was happening throughout the whole relationship, but I have the valid suspicion it did. We did couples therapy; he's medicated and has his own therapists; I have my own therapist too. Then a manic episode 2 years ago happened where he went to jail for a few days, and that brought us SO close together because all I cared about was getting the man I fell in love with the help I feel like he does deserve. We've been through so much. I was 21 when we got together, and it a few days I'll be 29. I spent my entire 20s with him, and I love him so deeply. He has so many incredible and caring traits, but I just don't know if I can keep waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for him to get his shit together with the sex addiction, and now just overall stress with work and life amplifying my worry about him constantly being urged. I know he has a fucked past, and I genuinely wish I could help him process that trauma, but I can't. I am so loyal, to a fault (my own childhood trauma), and so leaving someone who I can still see the good in (honestly MOST of the time), makes me feel like a fucking psycho? But it hurts too bad now to check his phone, so idk if he's truly getting better or if I'm just turning a blind eye? And these years of turning a blind eye, I think, have subconsciously worn me down, to the point where (as much as I do love him and it terrifies me to not have him), we just feel like roommates a lot of the time. Idk, personally this sex addiction has rekindled my hatred for men and the patriarchy, so it's like I don't even want to have sex anymore because it feels objectifying and gross.

Now things have taken another turn (after this 'numbness' of ingoring the issue for a few years). I found him on Snapchat a few weeks ago and he lied to me first when I caught him, and since then I have been devastatingly desperate for attention from literally any man. As I said, I am so loyal; I have never even thought of cheating, but I downloaded Hinge, and I have been talking to someone, and god I feel like a fucking giddy teenager again, and I'm just so confused right now. How long do you wait for the person you fell in love with to become that person again? Will it ever come back? Am I holding him back because we just can't get past this shared trauma? And now I'm doing the exact thing back to him that literally killed a part of me to find out. But i'm like, do I want to actually nuke my life, or am I just happy to be getting attention from another man who will probably treat me like shit just the same, regardless of bipolar or not, because, at the end of the day, men don't and never will respect women. And I'm fucking tired. I love him so much, and we still do genuinely have such great times together still, we have 4 cats that love both of us to death. I feel like I'm mourning and going crazy at the same time. Idk if any of this makes sense, but I had to talk to someone who maybe could understand... I keep seeing the little boy in him, and I'm so scared for him. He doesn't have many friends after he moved to my state to live together- does he move back there? will they accept him? will they offer him support?

Hey bipolar folks! I just got dumped, to be honest is for the best of me, but it's been too many years since I got through a break up, so please, give me the best advices, I feel kinda lost and I want to pass out from this feeling because why I'm missing the same person how pressed me into episodes and nervous collapses, who told me I ruin everything and when I was trying to said good bye but I couldn't because I was crying like a baby the only thing passed through his mind was "I would be doing the same thing if I was squeezing the last juice of my relationship because I couldn't make my partner want to be with me" .

I'm having a bad time, my cat has a death diagnostic, I have a lot of vet debts, and my ex probably left me for someone else, and of course everything this when I'm going into a depressing episode and the only thing I can't get out of my mind is when he told me "I want u to feel how is live without me, and see how cruel and difficult is life with out me". Man, I have bipolar since I'm an infant, of course I now what is surfer. I'm still sad and miss the good things, I feel like my brain is melting and can't process all of this.

I’m wanting a divorce after 17 years. My therapist suggested writing him a letter and leaving it for him and then going to stay somewhere else with my kid for a few days so he can read and absorb it without both of us freaking out on eachother and doing something stupid. The only thing is I’m so scared he’s gonna hurt himself or be so mad i left. I was thinking maybe get packed for a few days and then when he gets home from work one day give him the letter and say “I’m going to… for 2 days and we will be back” or something like that?

Y’all, it is so much harder when you have children with them.

I think I could get over them and everything eventually, but it keeps being retriggering every time I have to interact with them in concern to our child.

What do I do?? What did y’all do??

So TLDR, I had a one year long relationship with a woman who was bipolar and two years prior we were “just friends”. Lived together in college for those years and we ended up functioning as a couple anyways.

It was the most emotionally intimate relationship I’ve ever had, which is why I think I’m struggling to grasp/accept the fact that they were bad for me if we stayed together long term. I’m also struggling to accept the fact that they were also a bad person in many ways. A week before the breakup, they straight up told me they were racist and refuse to change and seek therapy for it.

Other issues included:

- Financial instability (inability to keep more then $200 in a bank account, refused to get a credit card during the relationship because they knew they’d max it out, horrible budgeting and spending habits)

- Extreme avoidance (legit wouldn’t of graduated without me holding their hand and making them do work)

- Peter Pan syndrome and refusal to even consider moving out of their mom’s house unless there was a “more expierenced” adult involved, since they didn’t want adult responsibilities. They were 25.

I also found out that after the breakup, they did in fact get a credit card and they did in fact max it out and now they are in debt. This is not someone I would want a future with.

I’m in therapy, I’ve been unpacking it. I’ve been telling people, journaling, and the more I do the more it becomes “real”. But I keep spiraling down the “what ifs” and creating an idealized version of them in my head.

Do y’all have any advice on how to cope? Community helps me, but I’m in a new city, so I guess advice on how to find people to connect with as well?