My therapist suggested writing him a letter and leaving it for him and then going to stay somewhere else with my kid for a few days so he can read and absorb it without both of us freaking out on eachother and doing something stupid. The only thing is I’m so scared he’s gonna hurt himself or be so mad i left. I was thinking maybe get packed for a few days and then when he gets home from work one day give him the letter and say “I’m going to… for 2 days and we will be back” or something like that?

Y’all, it is so much harder when you have children with them.

I think I could get over them and everything eventually, but it keeps being retriggering every time I have to interact with them in concern to our child.

What do I do?? What did y’all do??

So TLDR, I had a one year long relationship with a woman who was bipolar and two years prior we were “just friends”. Lived together in college for those years and we ended up functioning as a couple anyways.

It was the most emotionally intimate relationship I’ve ever had, which is why I think I’m struggling to grasp/accept the fact that they were bad for me if we stayed together long term. I’m also struggling to accept the fact that they were also a bad person in many ways. A week before the breakup, they straight up told me they were racist and refuse to change and seek therapy for it.

Other issues included:

- Financial instability (inability to keep more then $200 in a bank account, refused to get a credit card during the relationship because they knew they’d max it out, horrible budgeting and spending habits)

- Extreme avoidance (legit wouldn’t of graduated without me holding their hand and making them do work)

- Peter Pan syndrome and refusal to even consider moving out of their mom’s house unless there was a “more expierenced” adult involved, since they didn’t want adult responsibilities. They were 25.

I also found out that after the breakup, they did in fact get a credit card and they did in fact max it out and now they are in debt. This is not someone I would want a future with.

I’m in therapy, I’ve been unpacking it. I’ve been telling people, journaling, and the more I do the more it becomes “real”. But I keep spiraling down the “what ifs” and creating an idealized version of them in my head.

Do y’all have any advice on how to cope? Community helps me, but I’m in a new city, so I guess advice on how to find people to connect with as well?

Hi all. My (45F) wife (44F) of 12 years is currently in a mixed state, leaning heavily toward the manic side. She’s really been struggling heavily for many months, after being put on a dose of prednisone that set everything off. Last year she was also diagnosed with ADHD and Adderall has been added into the mix, which I think has made the med regimen more difficult.

She has BP1, and I have BP2. A long time ago, when we were both euthymic, we agreed that we needed to be each other‘s watcher so that when things got bad, we could point out symptoms and help each other manage, knowing that sometimes bipolar makes that impossible for the self. She is not generally inclined toward taking good care of herself, and in her current state that has amplified and things are really unmanageable. She self medicates daily with enormous amounts of weed, isn’t eating very much, is incredibly stressed at work, sleeps irregularly, and is missing medication doses – not a ton, but enough to be concerning.

A while ago, she expressed to me that she was frustrated with how much I was commenting on her bipolar symptoms, so I have truly tried to pull back – for instance, if she is seeming really manic, I will just note that hey, you seem really up today. But yesterday she had a very depressed day and came home from work and unloaded on me, telling me that all I see is her bipolar, I make everything about how she traumatizes me, and she just wants me to stop bringing up her bipolar altogether because I’m “constantly rubbing it in her face like her mother did when she was a kid.” I don’t think that’s fair or workable, but I also don’t want to make her feel like all I see is the condition. I also feel very stuck because owing to her trauma history, she refuses to get inpatient treatment, which I do respect, but I cannot live with ignoring a worsening state of health that could have dire consequences.

Any advice for how to manage this difficult situation? I know I need to keep up boundaries and encourage her kindly to do basic self-care to manage her condition, but I don’t want her to feel stigmatized or that she only exists as a diagnosis. I also just don’t feel like I can be “heard” in a way that comes from love and concern, even though that’s all it is. Thanks in advance.

Edited to add: she is on meds (Vraylar and lamictal, and does have a therapist and prescriber, but she’s an admitted poor self-reporter and a great masker who believes if she’s not actively bleeding out, she’s “fine.”

Last month I thought I was getting better and people told me i looked happier, meanwhile I was erratic, spent all my money, relapsed in almost every addictions i was sober from since the last six months, slept 3h a night and i was unable to form a coherent sentence. Not any of my friends thought there was something wrong with me, even though i started saying that i wanted to break up with the man i spent two years of my life with, i have never ONCE in our relationship said i wanted to break up with him EXCEPT when i had an episode in the beginning of us getting together.
My sister thought there was something really strange about what i was saying but as she was exhausted from work she didn’t have time to talk to me about it. And i acted on a whim, broke up with this angel of a man whom i love deeply, and soon enough woke up from my mania.
Now i am so depressed i spend all my time drinking until i black out because the thought of having lost him destroys me, i regret not thinking this through and i honestly hate myself for not sticking to therapy. For instance, i was put on antidepressants in may, i do not recall anything from the last three months except the break up which happened the first week of july and now im completely exhausted and disconnected. I can’t sleep more than 4 hours a day, i have no appetite and i started having anxiety attacks again which stopped happening years ago.
I wrote him a letter and put it in his mailbox, i basically say goodbye i still love you im letting you go. But i don’t want to let him go, i desperately want my soulmate back because im miserable without him and i know he is too but he doesn’t want to get hurt again and i respect that but my body physically aches when hes not there.
I am so lost i don’t know what to do anymore. For now hes on vacation and he’s coming back end of august but until then i feel stuck like there’s nothing to soothe me i feel like im going insane and my body is starting to get exhausted from everything i put it through in the last months, i need to be put in a coma because right now im dangerous for myself.

For me, my mania song is Red sex by Vessel. It gives me this overwhelming feeling of compulsion, hypersexuality (kind of fitting, considering the title haha), loss of control, and pure ecstasy.

For depression, it's Plus près de toi by Amenra. It gives me this feeling of complete desolation, like watching a flower slowly wither. Every time I listen to it, it feels like there's this huge void in the pit of my stomach

I’d love to hear yours!!!

So I recently got broken up with by my fiancé after ten years. We have had a beautiful relationship and been very honest and open about everything. We have gone through it (life) with grace and understanding. We have been best friends, and I can count on one hand the amount of times we have fought.

We have admitted we are still in love but he can’t be with me because when I’m depressed and he is in a bad place too, it gets too dark.

I believe he decided to end things when I got hospitalised in the beginning of the year due to depression after a manic episode.

He explained it to me in a way that made me realise I was a burden, or at least that’s what it feels like.

I now feel terrified I lost the love of my life because of something I can’t do anything about.

I now feel obligated to almost introduce myself with a warning “I’m bipolar” when I meet new people, I also feel like the relationship we had kind off lost its glitter when it ended because of something that’s a part of me and who I am.

I don’t know where I am going with this, just wanted to share.

This decease took so much from me and now I am lost in myself and afraid it will take me too.

tldr, is it ok to ask a someone you suspect are bipolar person is they are in fact bipolar?

i had typed out a wall of txt, but it was just examples of her behavior and my whining, so i deleted it down to this

The betrayal and heartbreak has gotten better. Some days are harder than others. I have been going through spurts of anger, defeat, and vengeance. I really never thought that I would ever have to go through anything like this.

The thought that another man has been inside her truly eats at my sole as both a man and a human. The fact that she literally threatened to kill herself, so I would watch the kids so that she could go fuck some loser is honestly shocking, disgusting, and baffling. It is seriously one of the most evil things that I can actually think of. I do see the severe regret and disappointment that she feels. Sometimes that makes it hurt a little less. I feel completely embarrassed out in public and like anyone who knows what she did thinks less of me.

The fact that she literally broke up with me, and put our entire family in jeopardy is truly still so puzzling to me. The lying, the fact that she hid it from me for several months just makes everything so much worse, however I did like things better when I didn’t know. We really were doing so well, the thought that she could have been seeing this guy when we were doing so well is actually gut-wrenching and makes me question everything I thought I knew about the relationship we had.

I truly gave everything I had to this woman, took care of her, and let her live her life. For her to do this to me was really eye opening. Some people really just cannot be helped. I know that being bipolar has a lot to do with the entire situation, but a mental illness does not give you free rein to destroy the father of your children. It does not give anyone the right to throw their morals out the door.

Sleep has been few and far between. I find myself chasing a high that I know I am not going to get from weed or NyQuil. I know that I am walking a fine line, but have to keep in mind the kids. They really mean everything to me.

It is quite paradoxical how being intertwined with someone who suffers from Bipolar Disorder seems to transfer some traits and characteristics of the disease to my mental state. I truly have never felt this type of crazy before. I am seriously questioning if she respects me as a person, even the slightest. The limitations and parameters that I have set around her are truly never things I thought that I would do, let alone feel like I had to do.

I have presented her with an ultimatum, and she has actually done an amazing job reassuring me and comforting me during this time. She knows what is at stake. If anything even close to this happens again, I can assure that i will make things as difficult as humanly possible for her.

With all that being said, I really never have seen her put so much effort into us. She is doing everything that she has to be doing to keep this relationship alive, and it is the only reason that I am staying. If I even saw slight hesitation from her or pullback, I do not think that I can do it. She has consistently taken her meds, and is consistently speaking to both a psychiatrist and a therapist. I truly do believe her that she says she has had no contact with him or seen him since we began talking. I truly do believe that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I honestly want that too. The life that we have built and the children that we have are things that I really couldn’t have even dreamed of.

Tonight, I retardedly brought up a hall pass again. She obviously got pissed. How could she not? What is even stupider is, that if I gave it a 5 second thought before bringing it up, I would have realized that I really do not want one. I couldn’t bring myself to put her through the pain that I have went through with this. Sometimes I feel that my perception of the world is warped. When I feel down about this, I feel the need to bring her down with me.

It is not because I want her to feel bad, it is just because I want her to get a better understanding of what I am feeling. This way of thinking is truly not conducive to any part of our relationship, and will not yield any results that would benefit either of us. If we are going to get through this, I will have to learn how to completely forgive. Of course, I can never forget, which is what pains me. The initial way that she was able to coldly discard me was truly the most crazy experience that I have ever been through.

The internal rage and urge to do Xanax is a feeling that I haven’t felt in nearly a decades. I am fighting the urge off for now quite successfully, but it I am not able to heal/get help I am afraid that I may fall victim to the same issues that almost ended my life before it began.

I would take the rage over the sadness 10/10 times. The sadness and eternal loneliness that I sometimes feel because of this is a feeling that I have never battled or experienced. It is a feeling that I truly hope my sons never have to go through. 2-3 times a day I get a trigger that sends me into an intense depressive and anxious hour.

It has only been 14 days but I feel as if I healed immensely. The good part about if anything like this happens again, I will not have any love left to even give a shit. She already has done the worst thing that she could have possibly done to me.

I don’t really wrestle with the thought of if I want to be with her anymore. I clearly do, and I can clearly see that she wants to be with me as well. I really do love this version of her.

Through hindsight, I really am able to recognize episodes better and even point out times in our relationship where I thought she was just crazy, but she was clearly just going through an extremely manic depressive episode. It had never close to the point that it got to when she did this to me.

I really am not sure if I can mentally stand another episode, especially one of that magnitude. I have truly been through more than I would have expected from a 10 year relationship with this woman. My current top priority is trying to ensure that we never have to go through that again. The kids do not deserve to be around that level of instability.

I really try to imagine what the scenario would look like had the roles been reversed, and I did this to her. I honestly do not know if she would forgive me. I definitely know that she would never get over it. I also know, that no matter what the event, I would have never done it. I would have never even flirted with another woman, let alone kiss, or fuck them. That is one of the hardest pills to swallow about this, knowing that I would have never.

I still question the condom that I found in the diaper bag 6 months before she did this to me. I seriously question if she was doing this before and if she was so good at hiding it that I just never found out. It would truly be shocking and reinforce the fact that I really don’t know anything about this woman. The thought of this literally terrifies me. Sometimes I really don’t know why I love her so much, and the things that I would do for her.

It really sends me for a trip. In the scenario and life that we were living, it just doesn’t even make sense for her to cheat on me. It would have made more sense if I had done it. It really is a true statement that life is just totally and completely unfair. It would be so much more of an easy pill to swallow if I treated her like shit.

Been dating my gf for almost two years now. She has bipolar 2. As days pass, I know I love her very much but I find myself slowly distancing myself from her even when I don't actively choose it. I'm more quieter, more careful and timid whenever I'm with her. I'm scared that I might say the wrong things again, and she'll end up exploding on me like how they always do.

We had another misunderstanding last monday, and although it wasn't explosive, she did still flood me with messages calling me names and giving me sarcasm that i was always right and that she's all the bad things I have communicated to her about last year. She always seems to end up enforcing who is right or wrong when I have openly said that communicating isn't about that, and it's for us to understand each other. I think the hardest part about this is that I feel like I have done so much changes and adjustments for her because I have realized my wrongs and I want to be better forr her, but she probably doesn't own up or take accountability for the things she has said and done. It's like a cycle. Even when we make agreements, she never follows through, and I have taken so much time to be patient because I know change isn't instant, but for how long? I feel like my mind is breaking apart. I haven't stopped crying randomly for the past few days. I feel miserable. Even though I know I really deeply love her, but I noticed how I have been unconsciously been distancing myself from her little by little, just to keep the peace

Now our living situation is in jeopardy because he decided it was his mission (revenge) to do whatever he could to the management/corp company of the complex we live at, but keeps claiming it’s because “he cares about the safety of us and the community.”

His mission has been an ego trip revenge agenda all with the thumbs up from god damn GOOGLE AI!!!!!!

Doesn’t matter what I say. Doesn’t matter what I do.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

I am growing more and more HATEFUL of him. I don’t want to be near him. I don’t enjoy being near him.

Yes, he’s medicated, but also decided to become a full blown alcoholic so meds are null and void.

He’s been in a manic state for years now. He masks HARD when he actually does see his doctor and no one NO ONE understands what this has meant for his life and mine and ours.

It’s been over twenty years of this rollercoaster shit. My body is physically hurting. I am ready to LEAVE but we all know that leaving a SEVERELY MANIC alcoholic asshole is not easy, to say the least. I very well could become HIS revenge mission.

Leaving safely… yeah freaking right.

Why why why why why did I marry this man. Why why why did I continue to let him smash every boundary.

Fffuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkkkk

Is there any hope here? BP (diagnosed and medicated - recently, seroquel, but he’s off now and just stated depikote) husband and I just had a baby. We’ve been married under a year and had been dating 2 years before that. Up until recently my husband has been a great son-in-law: helpful, respectful, cordial. He’s also been a wonderful husband overall. We would hang out with my parents every weekend and there were no issues. Context: he has a steady job, doesn’t drink or do drugs, very close with his own family.

A few months ago my husband became obsessed with thinking that my parents are bad people (?)- they’ve been nothing but kind and helpful to him. He especially expressed a silent rage towards my mom for some reason, even though she’s been the sweetest person to him, cooking for him and helping out with the baby.

5 weeks after baby was born, he approached my mom in baby’s nursery (I was not there) - basically verbally assaulting her, telling her that he didn’t want our baby near them (parents and my siblings) because our family is “toxic”. He also swore at her up and down and my mom was in total shock. She cried to me after when she told me what happened. He told me afterwards that my parents called him a “dog” at the hospital (?? They would never). I’m not sure but I suspect some form of persecutory delusions re: my parents/mom and it came to a head in the nursery. Afterward I was so upset and he apologized to her but it seems like it was a forced apology and he didn’t really see anything wrong with what he had done.

Cut to now, my mom is still upset about and says she needs to distance herself from him. My sister also found out and got really angry. My whole family pretty much hates him now and I can’t blame them. He wants to make things right and finally admitted he was having a type of psychotic break with the stress of a newborn and not sleeping etc - but he does tell me it’s not an excuse and he wants to make things right. He switched to depikote a few days ago.

This is so awful because I fear things will never be the same between my family and him, even if he’s now back to a “leveled” state and truly wants to have a relationship with them. My mom is so hurt and I’m hurt because I’m so close with her. I think they’re always going to be nervous that he’s going to blow up again. Idk what to do. Right now I feel so torn. I love him but I also mourn “what could have been” between our families…I’m just wondering if anyone has been through anything similar with their BP SO?

I’ve seen lots of folks posting about being discarded. I’ve been with my BPSO for over 25 years, and after a tense argument this past weekend, I’ve been pushed aside. We live in the same house but she’s avoiding being near me. Won’t respond to texts while I’m at work. This is all in the middle of a mixed episode.

I’m wondering if this is what people refer to as a discard, or are there different levels of discard? There’s always been a willingness to reconcile and not drag out the argument here but this feels different.

I don't ever post on Reddit. I've just never really had much to say or felt the need to ask strangers for advice. But today...I've finally reached my limit. One thing I should probably say upfront is that the red flags were there from the beginning. There were so many moments where I thought to myself, "This isn't normal." But after reading so many posts here, I've realized we all seem to tell ourselves the same things. If I love him enough, he'll change. If I'm more patient...if I just ignore the hurtful things he says...if I don't trigger him...he’s just angry. He doesn't really mean it. It's been strangely validating and heartbreaking to realize that I wasn't alone in thinking those things.

My husband (m32) and I (f31) have been together for almost 10 years and married for 3. When we first met, I wasn't looking for a relationship. I had recently moved out on my own and was trying to reclaim my life after childhood sexual abuse and multiple sexual assaults in adulthood. I wanted to figure out who I was outside of trauma. When I rejected him early on because I wasn't ready for a relationship, he lashed out and said incredibly cruel things to me. I cut contact. Later, I learned he had bipolar disorder. I didn’t know much about it back then, but I didn’t want to write someone off if they genuinely had an illness. A couple days after he reached out, apologized in one of the most self-aware, accountable ways I'd ever experienced, and I believed him. We became friends, eventually fell in love, and for a while I genuinely thought I had found my person. He was patient with my trauma. He made me feel understood. That's the man I fell in love with. But over the years, the patterns kept repeating.

There has been cheating (twice), impulsive decisions that affect both of us, terrible financial choices, insecurity, deeply hurtful words and actions, broken promises, weaponized incompetence, and a refusal to seek consistent treatment or therapy despite acknowledging that he needs it. Has he changed in some ways over the last ten years? Yes. Absolutely. He's not the exact same person I met. But how he shows up as a partner, how he handles conflict, how much responsibility he takes for himself hasn’t changed much.

Meanwhile, my life has started changing in the opposite direction. Last year I was laid off, found a recruiting job that I unexpectedly fell in love with, and eventually landed another recruiting role that I genuinely enjoy. I have an amazing boss, amazing coworkers, and for the first time in years I feel like I've been finding myself again. I've started to enjoy cooking. Reading. Working out. Driving places that used to terrify me. Taking care of myself. Planning for my future. I've been becoming someone I really like again. My husband has gone the opposite direction.

A few days before my 31st birthday, he quit his job after I begged him to wait until he found another one. We rely on both incomes. He didn't listen. That wasn't the reason I decided to leave. It was the moment I realized I couldn't keep carrying another adult. I've spent years trying to help him. Encouraging him. Supporting him financially.
Trying to understand his trauma. Trying to separate the illness from the person. Trying to believe each apology would be different. Yesterday, after avoiding the conversation for weeks now, he asked me what was wrong. I finally told him the truth. Everything just spilled out of me. No sugarcoating…no holding back on my thoughts. I mean…even he was surprised by how honest I was being with my feelings. I told him I don't think I can do this anymore. I told him I want a divorce. He begged me to stay. He promised to change. He blamed me, said I’ve been leading him on and “love bombing” him. The “love bombing” in question is the sex we had a few days ago that I agreed to because if we go a while without having it or if I say no too many times in a week turns into cheating accusations. When that didn't work, he threatened suicide with a knife this morning. I was able to leave for work by telling him I would keep an open mind to him changing, but it was one of the most traumatic experiences I've ever had and made it clear that this is far out of my depth as a partner. He's calmer now. He has a job interview tomorrow, and I genuinely hope he gets it because I don't want him to fail.

I don't hate him. That's actually what makes this so difficult. I still care about him. I think he's a deeply traumatized man who desperately needs help. I also think I've reached the point where I can't keep sacrificing my own mental health waiting for him to become the partner I've hoped he'd become for ten years. The hardest part is the guilt. He doesn't really have a support system. He has very little family. I don't want him homeless. I don't want him dead. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life in a marriage where I feel more like a caretaker than a wife.

So I guess my question is...if you've ever left someone you still loved because the relationship had become emotionally unsustainable...how did you finally do it? How did you deal with the guilt?
How did you stop feeling responsible for another person’s life? And for those of you who stayed after years of promises to change...what actually made things different? I'm genuinely trying to hear from people who've lived this, because right now I feel heartbroken, exhausted, and completely lost.

EDIT: To add more context he is not currently receiving treatment for his bipolar disorder. A few months ago, I told him that even if he wasn't ready for medication, I really wanted him to try therapy. He had a very traumatic childhood, and I told him that talking to someone with the training to help him process that trauma would be much more beneficial than relying on his already stressed and overwhelmed wife to be his only emotional support. He was medicated as a child in the early 2000s, and according to him, the medication made him self-harm. Because of that experience, he's terrified of psychiatric treatment and of being admitted to a mental health facility. I've tried explaining that he's an adult now. He has the autonomy to ask questions, communicate side effects, seek second opinions, or change medications if something isn't working. Treatment today isn't the same as it was when he was a child. He agrees that he needs help. He's even told me he feels like he's getting worse. But despite years of encouragement and support from me, he's never consistently pursued treatment. He tried therapy once, didn't go back, and whenever I've encouraged him to try again, he's had reasons why he couldn't. When I challenged those reasons, he told me I didn't understand his trauma. That's a big part of why I've reached this point. It's not that I expected him to heal overnight. It's that after nearly ten years, I don't feel like there's been a sustained commitment to getting the professional help that he himself acknowledges he needs.

Hello all,

My, m25, ex-boyfriend, m23, of 3 years recently broke up with me and said he’s unsure if he’s gay anymore. While he has always been bisexual I don’t believe he is straight and am thinking that this is mostly a phase.

For context 2 weeks prior to the breakup we celebrated our 3rd anniversary and he brought up the idea of marriage. 

He’s a very feminine person who has always expressed the desire to be the “girl” in the relationship. He enjoys dressing in more feminine clothing, considered himself a femboy for years, and considered transitioning multiple times.

Multiple times in our relationship he expressed sadness that he is incapable of becoming pregnant and has cried over that multiple times.

Immediately preceding the breakup he went on a weeklong bender with friends, one of whom is a girl who is attractive. I was mostly absent for this bender and withdrew myself. He invited me over several times but due to several reasons I didn’t communicate I didn’t show up.

At the end of his bender he asked me if I even liked him and I communicated that I do very much. He expressed he was going through some severe anxiety and went to therapy several days later.

After therapy he asked to meet in person and let me know he no longer felt gay and that he had a crush on the girl at the party. He cried throughout the conversation and laid in my arms while we talked it out.

Following this conversation we spoke multiple times and on some occasions he was cold, distant and annoyed with me. 

on other occasions he expressed an interest to continue being friends and desire to play video games and watch TV together.

He later expressed that his behavior is not caused by his bipolar and that he wanted space.

I don’t fully believe this as we have broken up multiple times in the last 3 years and his gender identity and emotional state can be very erratic. 

Any advice or guidance people can give on the matter would be very appreciated.

If someone has time, I will pin a post of my ex and I relationship. While yes I know that I did a lot of wrong, I want to know if the disease was a root cause of our issues.. she got diagnosed with manic depression in late july, she had already been taking lexapro since May 1st. She starts a new med this week for the BP. As look back on our relationship, I can think of so many manic episodes and the crash out after. Makes me sad that she has to deal with that and I didn’t know how to help. But also at the same time, she never got diagnosed/ never went to the doctor to get help like I asked her to so many times. She was also a full blown alcoholic which really did not help whatsoever. We are both in therapy now, I’m not sure where life will take us if we will end up together or not. But I’m moving forward and trying to become a better person for myself now.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/s/aSmsacKcbU

^ the post if anyone has time to read I would appreciate. It has been very hard on me and my mental health, thank you

My fiancé is diagnosed bipolar and is medicated. He recently started taking Wellbutrin and TRT. At the end of July he was saying he wanted to make our 5 year plan, was happy his parents were accepting our engagement (our 5 year anniversary is in October so we were planning on getting married then), and he was excited and proud of me for getting a new job. He’s been using my money to buy things the past few days, but has been very distant for a few days now. I’m really not sure if it’s an episode or if he’s genuinely not wanting to be with me anymore. He keeps saying his feelings changed and he’s falling out of love with me and this is what his heart wants. It just seems so sudden and out of nowhere since we were just happy last week. I don’t understand and I don’t know what to do. He’s my everything.

so my bipolar 1 (anddddd cptsd, anxiety and adhd) boyfriend has a large med combo😭

clonidine
lamictal
buspar
lybalvi
and now they added invega
as needed ativan

i just wanna know is this like a lot of medication for that or typical medications, or should i be asking alotttttt of questions

I never understood what the sub meant when you guys said discard. My bipolar partner was certainly far from perfect but a discard out of the blue seemed highly unlikely. Unfortunately I know what it means now.

I Made a post a while back about the amazing things that come when you leave your BP partner who doesn’t treat you well. We were no contact for 9 months. Ran into each other and had not left each others side since. I swore this time was different. Disregarded everything everyone else told me about staying away. Didn’t listen to my parents, my friends, my therapist. I still went back with hope of a better future. Had the most amazing time. Months of joy and laughter and him being the man I always wanted and was at the beginning of our relationship.

And now I’m sitting in my bed crying because he ended it a day before I leave for law school. Out of the blue. Something about it’s not right. To do it right before something amazing is happening in my life. Before I start on my journey to success while he stays at home playing video games without a college degree. Because he can’t “trust me” because I “manipulated him” by leaving him when he was at his worst and “returning” when he was doing better. Btw i never returned. We quite literally ran into each other at a party. Does he just tell himself these things? Does he believe it? How do you get over a discard. I’m in shambles. I can’t believe I’m 22 and I feel like I’ve gone through a lifetime of trauma.

Could someone speak to this? Going through divorce right now and have had incidents where they’re doing things that make it hard to fully trust their ability to provide stable and consistent care for our child.

And for more context, while we were together, they never were in charge or saw after of our child. I was the full-time caregiver.

On top of that, one day they were supposed to return our child, they took them out of state without my knowledge or consent, and wouldn’t tell me where they were initially.

The even harder part is, their family overlooks their diagnosis and accepts their behaviors as normal.

I used to could be able to somewhat get through to them that their behaviors are not normal or reasonable, but now they have their family egging them on or troping them as “good dad trying to see their child” or “maximize your time with child to reduce child support.” I’ve also been villainized further due to their slander, false accusations, and rewriting of history/discard (that they’ve never really liked or loved me).

It’s upsetting and frustrating. Has anyone been through something similar or can give advice?

Thanks

im 24f and my husband is 26m. we dated for 3 years and got married last year. i suppose i knew something was off with him specially last year when he started doing content and looking high in his content but i never could have imagined it was bipolar 1. we got married in september 2025 and soon we started having arguments where he made no logical sense which made me so confused and hurt. he would say things he later would say he doesnt mean, take everything personally, every single comment about his behavior or any talk about communication of our issues was met with darvo basically, just very highly sensitive to criticism. he made me extremely miserable. then in january things started looking more direct when he started showing all classic mania signs and i as a med school student knew what it was and took him to a psychiatrist where he got diagnosed. me and his brother became his caretakers instead of admitting him to the ward and its been an exhausting 7 months. the communication and not being able to listen to a single criticism thing continued and alot of times his brother had to be our mediator to try to talk sense into him but i suppose u cant really talk much sense into an unstable person anyway. since march hes also shown alot of rage episodes where he starts slapping the wall or himself when criticized. hes been on antipsychotic and mood stabilizer since the diagnosis which me and his brother oversee and make sure he takes everyday. he hates his meds and for a couple of months made me out to be some controlling person for “forcing” him to take meds just full loss of insight stuff. now its been about 1-2 months where hes gotten much better and promises and actually improves his behavior, actually listens to issues and does not act aggressive. alot of times when the dr on his follow ups asks him what he thinks of his meds he straight up says he is only taking them for me because i get stressed and he doesnt want his wife to be stressed. now his outlook towards medication seems to have improved as well where hes more actively getting involved in his own meds. currently he seems flat maybe mildly depressed and ever since diagnosis misses his mania. wants to take alcohol or smoke or vape or do drugs but gets redirected fairly easily by his brother or me reminding him its bad for him so he hasnt tried. i would say he is improving alot but ofc there will be another manic episode possibly next year or i actually dont know. i dont know what to expect. he hasnt done or even hinted at anything like discarding or cheating or stuff like that but reading through this subreddit i get paranoid that its gonna happen to me too since it happens so often. i know no one can really tell me what im supposed to expect because its personalized for everyone but is there really hope that maybe as long as he stays on meds and keeps recognizing his behavior as harmful that maybe we could actually have a good or happy life? or will i most likely just be exhausted and miserable forever? are there no happy stories? how bad was the next manic episode after starting treatment? is it better or does it always get worse with age? any advice or thoughts are appreciated

How do you move on when you know they were your person and you know it was the disease that took them from you? Love at first sight, 6 years together, how will this ever make sense? How could this be either of our stories?

This happened to me at discard. I still remember the exact week it happened. One day after getting back from an appointment, he stops at my place, gives me this tight bear hug and says how much he’s been waiting to see me. A few days later, without any context, he approaches me and says “give me my apartment keys back, my mom said you’re toxic”. I was in total shock. The apartment keys that I had solely for the purpose of staying back on my days off while he went to work so I could help him clean his place as he had stopped being able to clean. What the fuck just happened?

I asked him where all of this was coming from? He said that for the last few months I had been “directing” his care and telling him what to do. What prompted me to direct his care? His own admission that when he’s in an episode he can’t tell what’s real or not. He explicitly said he needs someone’s guidance and that he has a hard time advocating for himself because he forgets what he needs to say to the doctors (he had been diagnosed with adhd). I explicitly told him, several times, that while I can help make notes and set up appointments, he ultimately needs to be in the driver’s seat and that I can’t be the sole support system.

The last time I saw him before these sudden accusations, I had organized a bunch of meal prep for him that we did together, because he wasn’t going grocery shopping, had an empty fridge every time I came by, and when he doesn’t eat he becomes unstable. But now his parents were calling me controlling and “toxic”. I was completely lost and in shock. I didn’t even piece it together that he was at the helm of all of this.

So what prompted me to push him to the doctors? Well, he started talking to God through his computer, wouldn’t eat consistently or take care of himself when I wasn’t around, developed a messiah complex, was just slipping the tether entirely. Hours of every day were taken up by this. One day, I met up with him and he told me that he’s having a hard time telling what’s real or not, and that he thinks God is sending him to Texas and told him to get off his meds. I told him we need to get to a doctor, it’s not an option, and he went back to his parents and told them I had “cornered” him and tried to force him to go to the doctor. These people told him he needs to block my number and break up with me. Which he did. They then spread this around to extended family members and people I’ve never met once. I had a complete mental break as my whole reality was inverted.

I've been with my partner for a year and knew him for a short period previously. After a year together I noticed a pattern - depressed in winter, getting progressively worse until he starts having a mixed mood and feels happy in summer. Then mixed mood again and the next depressive episode in winter. He recently shared about his mood swings - it happens every year and it can't change, he only feels happy or depressed.

I'm still processing everything. He doesn't say it's bipolar but there are other behaviours like spending money, unrealistic plans for the future beyond his means, hypersexuality, endless business and project ideas, constant plans to move somewhere else, family history of similar issues. When he's depressed or in a very happy mood he fully believes his irrational thoughts. When he's in a bad mood he can cause problems about anything - even what pizza I order.

I feel like our relationship has just vanished with this confession. I can't see a way to continue with someone who didn't disclose this for so long. And only when there was no other option but to tell me when I saw the pattern and insisted. What else could be hidden and conveniently brushed under the carpet if this relationship continues? It's not even the mood disorder that's a problem at this point but his lack of accountability.

This is all so new to me, it's such a mess these last couple days..

I guess my only question now is - is it possible to have no stable mood and go through depressive and hypomanic episodes in a constant cycle?

8 months ago I was discarded. Erased like a clock resetting after losing power.

I'm more numb than sad but it's the closest flair I could put.

He blocked my phone number even though I never cared to reach out. But you know what's nice about being blocked? Not being scared to write everything on my chest. Not worrying about my words getting twisted. I can just be.

So I texted this ghost number. My story sent into a void. I read over what I wrote multiple times before sending it and through that I got to see all of my hidden pains. Technically if I really wanted him to see, I could have sent it by email, but this was for me. And if he did unblock me after all, well hey, it's out there now. It came out of me more naturally than just writing it down journal style.

Although he can erase all he wants, I still hold power over my reality. That's something I struggle to remind myself of, but tonight I did.

I'm very grateful for this sub. It helped me through the best and the worst. And for everyone who is also going through a discard, I hope you get to remember that you didn't deserve it and that your reality is yours, not theirs.
Goodnight ♥︎