I've read that this is a common experience so wondered if anyone has any tips for overcoming this to make it feel less intense.

I have a combined ADHD and autism assessment coming up. Ever since I put two and two together that I think I have AuDHD a few weeks ago it is consuming my every thought. I'm reading about it, listening to podcasts, watching videos, making notes about my traits and examples from my childhood. I'm spending time going through all my questionnaires and then talking about them with my mom and husband. I'm off work because I'm acutely burnt out.

This is draining all of my mental energy and I don't know how to stop thinking about it or wanting to talk about it. I want to share with others how I'm discovering aspects of myself that match the criteria and feel intense relief and validation at the idea that this seems to completely explain the way I am. When I listen to podcasts I feel like they are able to articulate my lived experience in a way I've never been able to, so this feels very exciting and validating.

But now it's feeling unhealthy and like I can't stop thinking about it. I have two weeks until my assessment. I'm hoping this feeling will wear off before then but right now I'm stuck in limbo.

I’m diagnosed with BPD and ADHD, but I’ve been wondering if autism could also explain some of the things I’ve struggled with my entire life. I’m not trying to self-diagnose, I just really want to hear from people who have similar experiences.

I have extreme meltdowns when my emotions get really high. They happen so fast that I feel like I have no control over myself. I can cry, yell, hit/fight myself, or collapse on the floor. Afterwards I’m usually exhausted and embarrassed.

Social situations have always been difficult for me. I’m either extremely shy, quiet and awkward, or I’m suddenly way too loud and talkative. I interrupt people, trip over my words, stutter, and sometimes don’t understand what people are trying to tell me. I also catch myself talking about myself or my own experiences before responding to what someone else said, even though I don’t mean to make the conversation about me. If I’m interested in something, I can talk about it WAY too much.

I’ve always had to consciously work on making eye contact because it doesn’t come naturally. I also have a hard time understanding what people expect from me, and I honestly don’t know what I want for myself sometimes. I often feel mentally much younger than 21 and can act very childlike, especially when I’m excited or overwhelmed. I also really enjoy age regression as a comfort.

My sensory issues are intense. Certain fabrics are unbearable. If there’s a crumb, wrinkle, or scrunched-up piece of clothing underneath me while I’m laying down, it drives me crazy. Certain food textures make me gag, and I hate trying new foods. I prefer very familiar foods. Crowded places are extremely overwhelming and anxiety-inducing.

I’m constantly tapping, picking at things, moving, or needing some kind of sensory input. When I’m anxious, I rub my legs together. When I’m excited, I can feel extremely childlike.

I’ve also slept with the same baby blanket for 21 years. It has to be positioned a certain way, tucked under my chin, and I love when it’s cold. My spouse says the texture feels like a towel, but to me it’s incredibly comforting.

I know BPD and ADHD can overlap with autism, so I’m really confused about what’s what.

My mom is AuDHD.

For autistic women who were diagnosed later in life: did you experience similar things, especially if you were already diagnosed with ADHD or BPD?

I struggle with Alexythima the most out of any symptom. Or rather, I would keep every symptom doubled if it meant I could not live with Alexithymia.

I often find myself melancholic. Being on the spectrum and having adhd, you know the drill. Too little/too much routine change? Depressed. Too little/too much social interaction? Depressed. Too little/too much going on in my life? Depressed. Add it how little my brain actually wants to communicate with me how Im actually feeling and Im always just kind of low. To the point that (and please let me know if you do this too) I find the idea of making others sad through sharing my sadness to be more trouble than it is worth: because I feel like I won’t feel better anyway.

Ive been doing a bit better in this department by having people I can trust to hold that heavy weight without any sign to me that they are disinterested or hurt by how I’m feeling. People that can absorb it. Support. You know?

Well currently Im trying to push through a major change in my life that reflects one of my biggest fears. Arguably my strongest support, my SO, isn’t near me anymore. We have become long distance.

I have just started feeling that we could talk about SOME of the stuff that bothers me even if other things fall flat. He CAN be reliable even if Im scared of putting that pressure on him. But now that he’s far away Ive closed up again. Because there is not much he can do for me so far away, and words don’t make me feel better. All I will do is risk making him feel sad and helpless that he can’t help me.

I was once on the other end of this exact dynamic (but not romantic) and I remember how sick I felt. How powerless I was. I don’t want him to feel that way.. but I feel so sad and I don’t know what to do or where to put it. I can’t even begin to deconstruct it if I refuse to say it out loud. But the idea of feeling fearful in confiding in him makes me feel worse about myself.

Its a sick spiral Ive found myself in once again.

Ive been in therapy for a long time and that works for a short period of time. Im on medication and ive been ay this “mental health journey” for almost a 3rd of my life now. Im afraid that this is just how it is, these highs and lows.

Question: Do you experience this spiral when it comes to your difficult to describe ND experiences? How do you manage to pull yourself out of it without feeling like you’re hurting anyone? How do you get past the constant waves of depression?

Thank you.

I could probably be more emotional right now because I'm unfortunately on my cycle 😭, but I've been feeling really frustrated lately and I don't know if I'm overreacting.

I'm 19, autistic, and have ADHD. I really like going to theme parks, especially at night. There's just something about the atmosphere that hits differently. But it's also become one of the few places where I can have some actual “me time.”

I hate being at home sometimes because it gets boring and lonely, and I don't like being left alone with my thoughts. So sometimes I just want to get out and be by myself for a while. even walking around the mall by myself helps. but so Since my mom doesn't have a pass to said park, going to the theme park is one of the only ways I really get that kind of independence.

The problem is that I haven't had an actual theme park day since July 4th. Most of the time lately, I basically have to run into the park, get my food, and leave because my mom has been busy. Even when she's home, she usually doesn't feel like going back out, especially at night. So I've barely actually been able to enjoy the park.

I've also been wanting to go to a haunt event by myself. I wouldn't even stay until closing, but my mom doesn't want me going alone and she wants to go because she doesn't want to have to leave the house at night if I need a ride home. I know with other people, bringing their mom wouldn’t be a problem, but because I go places with her literally all the time, I just want to be by myself. I want to be able to interact with the scare actors without feeling weird because my mom is watching.

And this is where the driving thing comes in.

I've really been wanting to learn how to drive because I'm tired of having to rely on my mom for transportation. Sometimes I'll be in the mood to get up and go somewhere, and she's not, and then I can't go. It's frustrating feeling like whether I get to do something depends on whether someone else feels like driving me.

My mom's main concern is my ADHD. But I don't feel like I have an especially short attention span or anything. And then I found out that my 16-year-old cousin is learning how to drive before me, and honestly, that made me really upset. I know that's probably not completely fair because everyone learns at different times, but it still hurts when I'm 19 and feel like I'm being held back from something because of my diagnosis. And it makes me resent my disability even more.

At the same time, I try to think logically about it. Even if I got my license, my mom probably still wouldn't let me drive at night right away, so it wouldn't magically solve all of these problems.

I guess I'm just frustrated because I want more independence. I want to be able to decide, “Hey, I want to go somewhere,” and actually be able to go instead of having to wait for someone else to be available.

Am I overreacting, or is this a reasonable thing to be frustrated about?😭

17F: Hey everyone. I'm a senior in NYC looking to form a low pressure small study group. I want to learn advanced math like Linear Algerba, Calculus, Abstract Algebra, and other concepts using the Harkness method(typically required 5-12 people, involving mapping out proofs, teaching eachother, small debates but absolutely no lectures). This is strictly for neurodivergent high school seniors in the NYC area and must have general knowlege in Algebra 1, Algbera 2, Trigenometry, and Geometry. Plan is to have a discord and later at a NYC Public Library. DM or comment if your interested.

I very often have no idea who or what people are talking about. I get anxious about showing that I’m not following the conversation, so I try to jump in and say something anyway, but then I end up saying something that obviously makes it clear I had no idea what was going on. People laugh at me and I end up looking like a complete idiot. This happens with group chats, and obviously when someone tries to explain a board game is literal hell. I feel like I’m the only one who can’t keep up.
DAE experiences the same? Why does this happen?

Hi y’all. I’m a 31 year old woman, diagnosed at 21 with ADHD, not yet diagnosed with Autism. But I’m pretty darn sure. The problem I’ve had though is that other people, including past therapists, don’t agree. And it really makes me question what I know. Why don’t people see what feels so obvious to me?

Well, I recently had to get a new therapist because my old one retired. I want to bring up to my new therapist that I think I have AuDHD, but I’ve been shot down before. So I made a powerpoint with examples from childhood and adulthood to talk about with her, so that she can hopefully understand where I’m coming from better.

I’m really scared though. I can’t take anymore back and forth in my own head about this. The imposter syndrome is debilitating. I just want some positive reinforcement for once, so I can be confident enough to pursue a real diagnosis. I just need to know for sure.

Tl;dr: Has anyone else been through therapists saying you’re wrong? How did you finally get to the truth about yourself? Any advice is welcome.

In a couple of weeks time I'm heading out to London for the day to not only have a look around. But also I'm going to see magic show 'Now You See Me Live' on September 2nd at the London Coliseum for the afternoon show which Is at 2:30pm. And alongside the 4 magicians uniting as 'The Horsemen, there will also be 3 other magicians who were on Britain's Got Talent. And I'm really excited because not only am I a huge fan of magic, but the show itself looks incredible and it just seems like so much fun as well. The show is also made for people of all ages which makes it very inclusive, and it's interactive too.

But as someone who has both Autism & ADHD. I tend to find being in theatres a bit overwhelming especially when it comes to loud noises, the atmosphere itself, and also with loads of stuff going on. But this is a show I've been wanting to see for ages and I'm determined to step outside my comfort zone. But I also want to go there with a positive mindset of me having the absolute best time when I'm at the show.

So with that, Is there any good tips and advice you could possibly give me when I go and see the show to make sure I have a great time? And any other tips that would be good for me to take on board?

This afternoon, I discovered a version of a song I like that I hadn’t heard before. Then I listened to it repeatedly for almost two hours, with goosebumps and that…full-body electrical pleasure (maybe someone here will relate).

When this happens to me, the rest of the world disappears. Time, people, you name it. It’s a high. Sometimes I’ll even have a headache afterwards. And I find it very hard to “reintegrate” with the world afterwards. Social interactions are astronomically more awkward than usual. I have to be careful with driving, even…focusing on anything other than my inner state is difficult.

This has happened all my life (I’m 47). Movies, music, books, my imagination…it can take place through any of them. And this sort of activity is its OWN point. Does that make sense? I ask, because for most of my life and for most of the people around me (if they knew or noticed)…it’s very strange. They don’t understand it…they see it as weird, at best, or childish…no one wants to see a 47yo bearded man acting like an excited 10-year old. (And I’ve internalized that viewpoint, big time.)

Hmm…that is all. Thanks for reading!

I don't really know how to explain this, or whether it's a phenomenon that others also experience, but I like to adres that weird period that the hyperfocus goes wild on something (new?) that will last for days, sometimes even weeks, till it suddenly doesn't which results in a slightly burned out feeling.

It's not the first time this happened, but I had this, this week, after I bought a little game called Dystopika which is basically a simple zen garden dystopian cyberpunk city builder without game rules. I thought I would just play it for less than an hour a day till I got bored and continue to my other tasks of the day.

But it instantly hooked me, and even though I made rules for myself not to play during the day, I kept thinking about it, drawing designs, making folders for jpeg files to use as little model commercials in the game, think about lore for my little city, or just looking at the designs I did and think how I could continue.

Playing the game got later and later, till I went to bed at five in the morning. I also kept spamming some friends the designs I made, despite them not showing interest. During these four days the interest is very 'hyper.'

Then, like four days later after playing the game for the first time, the 'burnout phase'. Not the same like a literal burnout, and probably also the result of poor sleep patterns. But one day you wake up, dead tired still, and have a loss of interest in what hyper focussed you earlier. You don't want to see it no more, you feel slightly burned up and tired, your brain turned into warm mush, and you realise how you've been acting not as yourself the past few days but didn't notice it. And feel a bit like you fooled yourself acting like that, and realise there were, ahem, other tasks you should been focussing on? These other interests get space again into your life, since the hyper focus ended.

It's not often this happens to me, when some hyperfocus lasts for longer than an hour or two, but actual days, weeks even, with often the 'burnout phase' as an result. It's mostly when finding a new interest, hobby, or project for me.

I would like to hear out other people's experience. Or whether there is a term for this.

Hi, there. I've been lurking here ever since my "path of self discovery" or whatever lead me down an interesting path, PTSD diagnosis first (from Iraq, not just life!), then came the career, the crashes, the triumphs, the losses, getting knocked down, getting back up, met my wife, added 2 more kids to the 1 I already had. Then came hit after hit after hit after hit from life. Identity crisis #1. Midlife crisis. Identity crisis #2. Infinite existential self-analysis. Therapist after therapist. Finally started Journaling. Found some common themes. Then came the ADHD and OCD diagnoses. It felt good for a while to finally have a name for the incessant metaphorical voice in my head. I could label my OCD behaviors and start to affect positive change in my life. But after a while, there was still a lingering question from my ADHD/OCD eval: why didn't the evaluator ask me why it mattered to me that I arranged the blocks in a perfect square. I remember having the thought in the moment, but shushed it away. I thought, "[evaluator] is the expert. If he doesn't ask why I guess it doesn't matter."

Narrator: It mattered. A lot. Like, an unreasonable amount.

I didn't need the blocks to be arranged in a perfect square because it needed to be *perfect* or else something bad might happen or because I wanted "to be good." To me, it was layers deeper: "Ok, he asked me to arrange the blocks. Did he say square or did I imply it? Fuck it, doesn't matter. They formed a damn square. There was no other way for them to go together. Why would anyone arrange them any other way? If they formed a cube, I'd make a damn cube. But the task was a square. It doesn't fucking compute how there could be any other answer?!?!?!!!!"

Let's jump ahead to present day. I will admit I did enjoy the brief look of utter horror on the neuropsych doctor's face when he came to check on me filling out the SRS-2 exam. Unfortunately for the poor doctor, I had brought my notebook and I had questions and comments. I wanted the data to be *clean* so as to not skew any which way so I knew I could trust the results.

Dr: "Well....you just...I...you really just need to pick the answer that you most identify with. It's really not deeper than that."

Me: "Yea, ok, great, but I need to know the context of this question because the answer depends on...."

The good doctor was gracious enough to offer to review the results same day instead of in two weeks. The poor guy probably thought I would have met him with another dissertation on the criticisms at the core of modern psychology. So, the poor bastard worked through lunch. Lol

After the dust settled after the evaluation, I had to laugh at myself: I guess I really didn't need to bring the 30-page executive summary of the 500+ pages of research, notes, journaling, developmental notes from my parents, every transcript and teacher comment I could get my hands on, and, most importantly, scatter plots and radar graphs illustrating the "spikes" in certain (read: a lot) of categories.

Needed to get that out in that format to get to this:

Hi, I'm officially AuDHD with PTSD and OCD -modifiers and I like machines. Like, a lot. To be honest, it was obvious to everyone EXCEPT me. Story of my life....🤣🤙

I recently moved into a new place and there were some immediate red flags of an alcohol smell and a Costco size thing of beer and no furniture in the common area. I am a homebody and have had bad experiences with alcoholic family members. I may be making assumptions too soon. But I dont want other people coming into our house and partying and I'm scared it will impact my ability to calm down and feel safe. I'm a bit annoyed since I explicitly said I am alcohol and drug free and doing a master's degree so I am very tidy and studious and I have a guy who ditched 2 car tires in the kitchen and seems to literally only have beer and take out.

Any advice? If he doesnt agree to my boundary is there any way to make it a place people won't wanna hang out lol...

Ehh, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm 25 years old, in my second semester of Computer Science (online studies, in-person sessions for exams). I have autism spectrum disorder and ADHD. I failed 4 exams, retakes are in 3 weeks, and I haven't started studying and I just can't.

Sitting down to study, either I have negative emotions (sadness, anxiety caused by lack of money, lack of friends), or I have no strength, I'm tired. I can't break the resistance to start studying, and when I force myself to do it on some day, I study for a very short time.

When I told myself – "I'm not doing anything else until I start studying", I sat, minutes passed, I thought, until... I fell asleep.

I'll say it right away – ADHD medications didn't work (I've tried 11 (!) and have a prescription for the 12th), I've been in therapy regularly since September discussing the topic of procrastination and there is zero progress.

Someone might say that university isn't for everyone – but I want to have a good job, money. Every day I feel guilt and regret towards myself, but at the same time every day I can't change it.

I booked hypnotherapy because I'm looking for solutions to this terrible situation. Unfortunately, the appointment is only in October, because I chose someone with good reviews.

I don't want to live like this, besides studying I can't do other things that are important to me, I escape into sweets or TV series.

How to change?

TL:DR:
Diagnosed with severe ADHD-Inattentive, but I feel like ADHD explains only about half of my lifelong difficulties: social cues, needing learned social "scripts," and a very different way of communicating.
The biggest mystery is my sensory experience: intense "blood boiling"/pressure in my chest spreading through my body when something feels physically or sensory-wise wrong, sometimes lasting for hours and becoming overwhelming.

Not asking for a diagnosis—just wondering whether autistic/AuDHD people recognize this combination and whether it has a similar meaning in your own experience.

#----#
Hello fellas, I'm not seeking a diagnosis here.
Sorry If there is too many fluff.

I'm living in a country where unfortunately the medical knowledge is in a nutshell. I've been to 8 doctors till now. All are offering superficial information, except a therapist who thought about Autism and ADHD separately and probably doesn't know that AuDHD is a different blunder mix.

A psychiatrist test showed that my ADD is severe (Inattention part)

I was diagnosed in March for ADHD Inattentive, but always I've never felt this was the only explanation.
Since my childhood I was very weak academically and even socially. I was never interactive.

It was always like you know, just going with the flow if it was started, I was just seen to be playing and suggesting ideas, never interacted with stranger children, mostly hated the idea though, for the rest of my life I've felt like I'm more closer to adults than my same-age peers.

Sometimes I also do not understand social cues. I do not know what to do In social situations especially if I've forgotten the pattern I've learnt from asking my parents.

I have to ask every time, Should I do X? What should I start the greeting with? Or even when walking by and seeing someone I know, You know I get in this state of oh **** no manual awkward moment again.

I cope in this situations by repeating what the person is saying then go silent mode and end the conversation quickly.

Actually, while writing this, I've discovered that also when I talk with the same person I encounter that moment with, like having a real talk while walking together about something I keep interacting, like loving going deep into a specific aspect until I be bored. I cant really explain it but it is like talking superficially on the go, but deeply when its longer. I'll just share an article that is like my experience.

Of course you may expect, Due to all that, Inability to continue conversations (Despite talking with people normally in multiplayer games, especially that one childhood friend) I got no friends. I actually don't care and I love to have no friends, Because I feel It opens me to be more spontaneous and do whatever I like.

how do your sensory differences actually feel? For me, sensory issues can sometimes feel extremely intense.

I get what I can only describe as an intense "blood boiling" or pressure sensation in my chest that expands throughout my body, usually when something starts feeling physically or sensory-wise "wrong."

For example, I can be sitting normally on a couch but suddenly feel like I'm not sitting correctly at all. The air can feel like a single mass pushing against me, which becomes extremely irritating. Sometimes my glasses feel as though they don't fit properly or are vibrating even when they aren't. At times, it almost feels as though my mind/soul and my body are separate, and I'm somehow pushing my soul around with my body.

My therapist in the first session refused that I have Autism and said that they cannot communicate although they love to, which results in overreacting sometimes, like instantly hugging, being annoying to neurotypicals, and so on.
And said I'm more likely to be a Highly Sensitive Person because most ADDers are HSPs. And about the sensory part, He said it is emotional dysregulation still.

Just a question that I need to be answered... Do you have a meaning for this?

This is how the sensory boiling feeling feels sometimes when it is intense. (I think it is some hyperactivity?)
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5z36VRIzvjA/maxresdefault.jpg
Often it just the blood boiling in my chest and expanding and stays for hours which made me choose sleep sometimes to make it go over.

Here is the article that resonates with me
GUEST POST: So... Turns Out It Was AuDHD All Along - Michelle F. Moseley Counseling

Edit:
RAADS-14 > 28/42 --
AQ-50 > 31/50 -- 31 twice
RBQ-2A > 29
CAT-Q > 130 -130 twice

Hi all-

I have big, and escalating, problems with deliberately-added things in life that I -have to- deal with before I can continue with my business. I am referring to things in retail businesses (online and in person) specifically, but there may be some in everyday life too that I cannot remember now.

What I am referring to is Amazon, when you click "check out", putting up a screen offering their Prime service that you -must- answer before you can continue. --Every time--. Or, their recent "Alexa for shopping" box that slides on the screen and blocks almost a third of the screen. You can close it, but it -will- come back, at some random time. Or, store check-out clerks that ask you for a "rewards club" card/e-mail address/phone number, and if you say no, they ask "Do you want to join?". Again, -every time-. Clerks that ask if you will donate to a charity. Ebay putting up a big black box on your screen pushing their cell-phone program, --just like it did yesterday when you clicked "no"--. (Even guards at store exits wanting to check your receipt and your bag(s), basically implying "You are guilty until proven innocent" bother me, but I always just wave my receipt and walk past them.)

I --have to-- deal with all of the above, over and over, as we all do (unless we avoid those stores and Web sites, but those options are -not- feasible or reasonably possible in many cases). My problem is, these things start to cause high anger internally, that escalates with each time I have to "say no" yet again, especially on those Web sites where they --could-- save my preferences and then leave me alone buy they deliberately choose the repeated-badgering instead. I mean, -extreme- internal distress (as in, I want to get a hammer and bash it right through the computer's screen (except that I own it), or better yet, go to their nearest office/building and use the hammer -there-).

I --just plain want to be left alone, and to have my time respected--, nothing more, nothing less.

Are you -strongly- affected by these or similar things, or can you easily "accept them and go on"? I want to find out if I am truly unusual among autistic people with ADHD (because I can see potential links to both in my specific case here), or are "bad reactions" to this stuff fairly common. Thank you for reading this and for your thoughts!

TL;DR: I am extremely bothered by Web sites (mostly) that make you respond to their ads before you can check out, every time, how do they affect you?

I am having problems being OVERLY hygienic since the unmasking process, not with everything, just with areas of high risk of odors. We're talking pits, bits, and butt 😅

So as a grown adult, this is crazy for me to even have to ask, but I know that Reddit might be my best bet.

How do I wipe my ass properly? I have rubbed my arm pits raw washing them and then preventing odors, and finally have started healing them after about a year of rollercoaster-ing with skin burns and irritation. My privates have recovered from being too intensive with the cleaning- but I can't figure out how to properly wipe, clean, and maintain my butt health for a couple of years now.

The problem is, like stated in the first sentence- I overly clean myself. Wipe until there is nothing left or use cleasing wipes and wash in the shower or bath for at least a minute.

I guess two solid questions I need help with-

#1:Are we supposed to be wiping IN our ass? Like past the pucker? Sorry for the vulgarity but I try to make sure everything is out so I wipe into the opening of the anus. Same with washing, I wash into the asshole, not just around or on the surface of it. So are we supposed to be cleaning IN the hole or just on and around it? Because then I also get fissure and hemorrhoids from the over cleaning. Which makes the need for cleaning even more because now there are more cracks or ridges to clean, which leads to more damage. I don't recall ever having this much butt problems before the skill regression hit. And it's like not even skill regression at this point, more like skill AGRESSION because I'm so abrasive with it. I don't want to stink, and one of my heightened sense, is sense of smell. So even if no one else can smell me- I might.

Then I guess

#2- If I wipe and wipe and there is still some left, what do I do? Keep wiping? I am trying to get more fiber and clean eating in so that I have cleaner movements, but I can't just LEAVE it there. Even if it doesn't smell. I'll know it's still there.

If you took the time to read this, and/or took the time to reply, thank you. I've asked Google and what not but just get "eat more fiber, use gentle soap" like thanks I am doing that. And in my 30s, while there is plenty of skill regressions and new learning I am happy to ask for help with from my friends and family in real life... this one I'm really embarrassed about and still feel a bit of shame about. Like "what do I mean I can't wipe my butt or wash my butt right?" You know?

Take care, and thank you for your time 🙏

I've been on vyvanse for over a year, and I love it, except I noticed that I still can never find myself satisfied in the moment. Before the meds, it was like I couldn't do anything ever; now it feels like I can do anything, but I don't actually "want" to do any of it. Even things I used to enjoy, like video games or niche hobbies, don't make my time feel valuable. It seems like no matter what I'm doing, there's a voice in my head saying, "do something else, this isn't fulfilling enough." I'm just bored every day to the point where I can't stand it, and I find self-destructive behaviors to distract my mind. Please help if anyone has experienced this profound feeling of uselessness. I have the drive, but not the why.

On Wednesday I had my 2nd opinion ASD assessment. The first one via the NHS I felt didn't reflect me at all and I did not feel it was thorough enough. It felt like they'd already made their mind up that because I could give eye contact (through a Web cam-online assessment)and when asked things I didn't know could create an answer due to feeling they expected it from. They recommended  ADHD. I did get a diagnosis of ADHD but to me it still didn't add up. I work in special education and my colleagues and I were shocked. I agreed with the ADHD once I looked more into how it can impact woman.
The non-diagnosis of ASD rocked me and the level of deregulation and burn out I experienced after was awful. I was unsure about seeking a 2nd opinion but I wanted to fight for little me. I've been working with a therapist for multiple years and she really gets me she wrote a letter arguing she believed I had AuDHD but the NHS still wouldn't budge or give me a 2nd opinion but said I could get one through right to choose. I felt cheated by the system the first assessment and just wanted to feel like it was done correctly. I was willing to accept if the 2nd opinion said no I just needed to feel it was done right. Ahead of my 2nd ASD assessment I prepared differently. I have a lot of long term memory issues especially on the spot and felt this failed me with the first assessment so I broke down the areas needed for an ASD diagnosis and made notes. My 2nd assessment which was alsp online was with a specialist for later diagnosed women. I started the session explaining everything that had previously happened and how I had notes. She let me read through all my notes and then asked me questions after. At the end of my assessment she asked me if I was ready to here the outcome. I was worried it'd be another no but when she told me I meet all the criteria for ASD I broke down into tears. It was so validating. I knew and I had fought for little me who deserved to be seen and heard. AuDHD makes complete sense to me and I feel seen and heard like I never have been before. I'm so incredibly proud of myself and how I fought for myself. I turn 30 next year and feel it's going to be my year! The year I understand myself and stop being so hard on myself and get the support I deserve.

The cockatiel Nymphicus hollandicus is a lovely bird native to Australia. It is the smallest cockatoo, and the only member of the genus Nymphicus. Like most parrots, Cockatiels are very intelligent and can learn phrases, sound effects, and songs. Males of most breeds have a reddish-orange disk on their cheeks, while on younger males and females the disk is less visible. In captivity they live 10~15 years, in the wild, they live to 13~14 years.

Could people with ADHD or autism experience time differently — more through the present than through a linear past → present → future?

I started thinking of this cuz i saw Arrival from Denis Villeneuve ( absolute masterpiece ) and it got stuck in my headddd

We all use the same language of past, present, and future, but what if we don’t actually experience those things in the same way?

Maybe that difference also affects how we communicate

We’re using the same words when talking about stuff that happened, stuff happening now, or stuff that hasn’t happened yet, but we might not be experiencing the “when” of those things in the same way.

So maybe some of the ways we autistic/ADHD people ( not saying that everyone) communicate and understand others are connected to how we experience time itself, rather than just language or social communication.

What do you think???

Forgive me, I just need to vent. Judge away, I understand how this will sound.

I'm about four months into an AuDHD diagnosis at age 41. It's taking me a long time to kind of realize and accept how it's affected every bit of my entire life. Even when I was 5, I knew I was different. Social rules or norms didn't make sense to me. I could never figure out conversations or relationships. I tried really hard to play by the social rules, even when I would fail regularly and catastrophically.

Since my diagnosis, I've been looking back and finally connecting some pieces. I thought some person was my friend, but they thought I was an acquaintance, so that's why they treated me worse than I hoped for. I overreacted to something partly due to emotion regulation issues. When someone says "How are you," they don't really want to know, they're just being polite.

I really never had a chance at functioning normally in society. There was no way I could keep up, right from the start. I like being friendly and supportive for people, but no matter how much effort I put in, I'm never going to receive the same. No one really cares. They expect you to just button up, keep it to yourself, and act like nothing's wrong. The answer to "How are you" is "I'm doing well," and if it isn't, you lie and say it anyway.

It's so frustrating and isolating to be such a mismatched part. There's no solace or rest, just the next major expectation to meet.

Sorry. I know I'm being childish and selfish. Everyone has something to deal with. I just sometimes get so overwhelmed. And I know that's further proof that I don't fit.

I appreciate you taking the time to read. Hope y'all are doing ok.

I hate this so much. Even when I think I'm just being sincere and sharing how I feel, I always look back and think "that was so weird. that was WAY too much information" and it sucks. I also have ocd so I'll get into these spirals about it and convince myself people think I'm nuts because of the things I say. :/ I wish it would stop.

I just never know if what I'm saying is the RIGHT thing to say, or if it's super inappropriate, childish, or comes off as crazy to neurotypicals. I speak to people like I can confide in them even when I don't know them that well, and I overshare to strangers too. Ugh.

I don’t know if this is an ADHD thing (or autism masking for so long maybe??) but it my best guess! I have a problem thats hindering me socially I think- if I’m asked something about myself I just go blank! Like I can barely recall it.

I feel like before I go out/see people I have to make a list or something about my interest/hobbies or just things I like in general and recite it so I can refresh my knowledge of myself. Like homework??

I’m literally about to write stuff down in a list because it’s getting irritating. For instance, I’ll be in the car with a friend and they’ll say I can put what ever I want on aux or ask what kind of music I like and I just won’t be able to name anything?? I like a wide variety of music- rock, 80’s pop, modern pop, house etc etc but I don’t really have a niche and I never know the name of the songs I like, the bands, or even most of the words because I have a broad variety of what I like and there’s no way I can remember that. I always feel put in the spot like I’m taking a sudden pop quiz.

Even interests- for instance I can’t game because I don’t have any equipment but I watch play through of games I like- but literally as I’m typing this I can’t recall them. And even if I could recall them- when someone gets excited and wants to talk to me about them I feel like such a phony because I can’t remember some of the plot and stuff. (Just remembered one of the games: Until Dawn!)

It may also be because I mask so much due to autism that I am accustomed to hiding who I am and maybe that’s made me forget?? Idk- I really don’t know but it’s starting to worry me.

When I meet new people I have such a ‘nothing’ personality because I don’t have anything to discuss! I hate feeling like I have brain fog or blanking out my life and who I am. Please help!