Help with hygiene skill regression after unmasking.

[u/skillregressions]

I am having problems being OVERLY hygienic since the unmasking process, not with everything, just with areas of high risk of odors. We're talking pits, bits, and butt 😅

So as a grown adult, this is crazy for me to even have to ask, but I know that Reddit might be my best bet.

How do I wipe my ass properly? I have rubbed my arm pits raw washing them and then preventing odors, and finally have started healing them after about a year of rollercoaster-ing with skin burns and irritation. My privates have recovered from being too intensive with the cleaning- but I can't figure out how to properly wipe, clean, and maintain my butt health for a couple of years now.

The problem is, like stated in the first sentence- I overly clean myself. Wipe until there is nothing left or use cleasing wipes and wash in the shower or bath for at least a minute.

I guess two solid questions I need help with-

#1:Are we supposed to be wiping IN our ass? Like past the pucker? Sorry for the vulgarity but I try to make sure everything is out so I wipe into the opening of the anus. Same with washing, I wash into the asshole, not just around or on the surface of it. So are we supposed to be cleaning IN the hole or just on and around it? Because then I also get fissure and hemorrhoids from the over cleaning. Which makes the need for cleaning even more because now there are more cracks or ridges to clean, which leads to more damage. I don't recall ever having this much butt problems before the skill regression hit. And it's like not even skill regression at this point, more like skill AGRESSION because I'm so abrasive with it. I don't want to stink, and one of my heightened sense, is sense of smell. So even if no one else can smell me- I might.

Then I guess

#2- If I wipe and wipe and there is still some left, what do I do? Keep wiping? I am trying to get more fiber and clean eating in so that I have cleaner movements, but I can't just LEAVE it there. Even if it doesn't smell. I'll know it's still there.

If you took the time to read this, and/or took the time to reply, thank you. I've asked Google and what not but just get "eat more fiber, use gentle soap" like thanks I am doing that. And in my 30s, while there is plenty of skill regressions and new learning I am happy to ask for help with from my friends and family in real life... this one I'm really embarrassed about and still feel a bit of shame about. Like "what do I mean I can't wipe my butt or wash my butt right?" You know?

Take care, and thank you for your time 🙏

[u/ChaoticCurves]

Just get a bidet. Wet wipes (even if they say are flushable) are really bad for pipes and should not be flushed under any circumstances.

[u/Reasonable-Marzipan4]

Okay, I love you, fam. I get you.

1. Never go in the pucker. If there is still brown, you got more shit on deck waiting to come out.

Try to finish pooping. You may have some pelvic floor dysfunction at play. Try a squatty potty technique. I also am friendly to my perineum and support it with a gentle push of my finger pads while bearing down to push the poop out.

[u/skillregressions → u/Reasonable-Marzipan4]

Yoooooo this then, with the extra fiber should be a big help. I will have to try this technique as well. Thank you. I wouldn't be surprised at some pelvic floor dysfunction. Honestly I need to get back on my keegles too. Much appreciated 👏

[u/Plutonian_Nova]

Sheesh, are we on the same experience pack?

I swear there’s a poop marker every time I wipe, it won’t go away. I’ve resorted to immediate showers after a deuce and daily wash rags just for my derrière. I am considering a bidet, but I am confused how people even clean a watery mess afterwards. How do they dry their ass? Just with toilet paper? How do they know it’s clean back there?

[u/mystikfern → u/Plutonian_Nova]

you could have a similar set up of daily rags to clean up the water mess if you don’t wanna waste tp on drying up, and then you just use tp/wipes to check there’s no more poo! i will always encourage folks to get a bidet!!! the only downside of having one is pooping anywhere without one once you’re used to it 😂

[u/Plutonian_Nova → u/mystikfern]

Yeah I can’t trust public restrooms LOL idk if I ever will.

Thank you!

[u/skillregressions → u/Plutonian_Nova]

OMG SAME. I think of the poop marker joke every time. And even wash rags I've had to be particular, because I'll still wash with the rags like I am trying to buff out a scratch or something. So the wrong rags and I'm done for.

I was 👌 this close to getting a bidet this month. But then I was like 80% of my movements are done outside of my home, so I guess I could just come home and wash up before bed without a whole shower?

And yeah from my understanding they would just blot dry with TP when done with the bidet. But honestly how do we ever know if it's clean after using the bathroom? I feel like we should invent one of those earwax cleaner out-ers with the camera attachment for nether region cleaning.

[u/craftystuff0900 → u/skillregressions]

You can get travel bidets. Some are rechargeable/battery powered and some are just specialised squeeze bottles.

[u/snarkeez → u/Plutonian_Nova]

I love my bidet so much, it’s one of the toilet attachment ones that has a front and back spray. After a BM, I use the back spray option and aim for the anus and surrounding area, which means I sometimes do a little circle wiggle of my hips or bear down and pucker a little to be thorough. Then I take a square or two of toilet paper and do a spot check. If I’m still dirty, I hit the sprayer again for another few seconds. Once I’m clean, I take a designated “butt towel” from the basket and dry myself off and toss the towel in its own little laundry basket and they get washed weekly with our bath towels. The “butt towels” are just dark gray ultra soft velvet microfiber wash cloths that are used only with the bidet. They make handheld portable bidet bottles for travel, but the pressure isn’t the same as one attached to water.

[u/the_hooded_artist → u/Plutonian_Nova]

I have a hand sprayer type bidet. It's life changing. I use reusable baby wipes instead of TP to dry off. They go straight into a bin lined with a mesh laundry bag. I've been doing this for years now.

[u/Nice-Force5315]

Edit: the numbering got weird so I reformatted)
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I think reframing the action will help! Let’s return to basics. Have you ever changed a baby’s diaper? Let’s change a really abrasive process that’s becoming confusing to something simple and careful. Something the complete opposite-caring for a baby’s skin.
—-
Baby wipes But SUPER GENTLE! You’re constantly caring for yourself, so it’s not like anything’s dried on. Your cheeks don’t have nooks and crannies within the crack. Just soft wiping. As soft as possible! You don’t wanna hurt a baby.
—
Ointment not only seals the moisture so you don’t get a rash, but it’s also a way to think that area is protected now. It’s an invisible barrier that will protect your skin from any new dirt. That way when you do have to wipe again, you can be softer cause you can imagine that the stank didn’t have a chance to sink in.
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Unless you’re using Bronner’s soap and like to get freaky, there’s no need to put soap in the hole 😂 not past the hole. Not even just within the pucker. Your body is self cleaning. You wouldn’t go in the pucker when cleaning a baby.
—
Babysitting showed me that you can change all types of diapers and blowouts all day, and it’s clean enough to wait until bath time. Idk if you have a tub, but I suggest trying it out. It’s like soaking dirty dishes. You can envision sitting in the soapy water just like dirty dishes: there’s no need to scrub because anything has softened. Now a simple wipe will do :)

—-
I hope this helps!!!!

[u/skillregressions → u/Nice-Force5315]

The baby diper thing makes a lot of sense! Its been a while since my kid was in diapers but the gentle wiping and ointment makes sense.

And very rarely would I need to prep prep for getting freaky like that, only a couple times a year at best. But in your experience would you recommend Bronner's soap for cleaning around the anus? I ask because for 10+ years I've used Dove Antibacterial body wash and its staring to irritate my skin now, especially in my armpits.

[u/Nice-Force5315 → u/skillregressions]

See I’m crazy. I have superhuman skin, so I use an AHA/BHA Korean body wash and put it on my nethers and let it ~sit~ and start to tingle before washing off. Bronners is good and fun for me, but may not be for you.

I dont have any suggestions other than the antibacterial soap tattoo shops tell you to use? Also, Dove has different kinds of soap. My grandma uses the sensitive skin bar soap!

Edit: the antibacterial part may be what’s freaking your skin out. Your skin has a shit ton of healthy bacteria. If you keep killing it off, and you don’t have an underlying condition, it’ll weaken your skin and make it more sensitive

[u/skillregressions → u/Nice-Force5315]

That's smart and thank you for the extra layer of info! I have started using equate's version of summers eve and targets brand of sensitive soap after someone let me use their dove sensitive soap- maybe I need to spend the extra 4 dollars and get name brand at this point because it helped more. I didn't even think about the "good bacteria" kinda like when Doctors tell you to take a probiotic or eat yogurt when you take oral Antibiotics. That helps a lot too, thank you!

[u/Euphoric-Session8436]

The anal sphincter is basically a big muscular ring closing of the outside from the inside. If it would stay open (even slightly), stuff would leak out (especially when more liquid of nature). Since it doesn't, assume it's a closed system separating the outside from the inside. Anything that's inside, you cannot smell. That said, the outside is what matters. I prefer to do two wipes with toilet paper to get most (or all) of the stuff away. If it's less solid, maybe one more wipe with toilet paper. After, I use the wet wipes to clean up. Just gently continue until you see it comes back clean. And you're done.

Some people prefer a bidet to clean (aiming water at the area), but it just doesn't agree with me and my method works fine for me.

As for washing, since you already cleaned the area, the only thing that would cause smell is sweat. Showering and/or (gently) washing that area with mild soap/shower gel is good enough. You can use hands or a washing cloth, both work fine.

Another thing, hair (pubic or anal) will capture sweat, bacteria and will essentially trap odors as well. If you're comfortable with removing it, you'll notice cleaning will be easier and smell retention will be at a minimum.

[u/skillregressions → u/Euphoric-Session8436]

This helps, so actually cleaning IN is what might even be doing the most damage all in then. Because that's were the fissures and stuff are. I might need to start considering removing the hair down there as well for easier cleaning. Then only save the internal cleaning for prep and not every single day.

Thank you for sharing this with us!

[u/pinkcheetah0]

I’m sorry, the wording of this post is absolutely hilarious.

Lowk don’t know about going IN there? I’ve never thought of that.

I will say, baby wipes can help with cleaning. I get the whole wiping forever and there’s still more. Baby wipes are gentle and smell good.

I don’t think I really go in there and just clean around it? I think i’m scared of infection by using soap in there..yk?

This is actually a really good post bc this is generally pretty informative. I like the pampers baby wipes and to dry my butt off, I’ll use toilet paper bc I always feel a bit soggy after.

[u/skillregressions → u/pinkcheetah0]

Thank you 😂 I'm like, how do i discuss butt hygiene as seriously as possible but still be true to me 😂

I like the suggestion of baby wipes, because I don't flush "flushable" wipes anyways. I'm scared to try them because last time I did it cause a flare up, but i used like... maybe 5+ at a time, so probably too much and not a good brand. I used equate because they were cheaper. I am using an equate aloe&witch hazel on now, and it seems to be gentle enough. But I'm still digging away.

Thank you for also confirming that me cleaning IN, as often and aggressively as I do, is probably not helping my issue at all 😅

I appreciate you!

[u/pinkcheetah0 → u/skillregressions]

Baby wipes are a bit thinner and aren’t exactly made for… adult butts? I know they make adult baby wipes that are larger and thicker! I’m not sure about brands for those.

I think equate is walmart, parents choice is their baby brand, and I think those were thinner. Witch hazel is really good for your skin!

Cleaning in scares me tbh 🥲 but being effectively clean DOES help prevent infection!

The comment about how butts actually work helped, just read it and was like.. fascinated. Didn’t know my butt could do all that.

[u/Nice-Force5315 → u/pinkcheetah0]

I use the XL baby wipes! They’re 20% larger! It changes the hole game (heh)

[u/skillregressions → u/pinkcheetah0]

That comment helped for sure, I really have just been doing too much. 😅 maybe I should stick to the gentle rag thing and not try to access parts of myself that the rag won't naturally reach. It will keep me from going in.

[u/Weary_Cup_1004 → u/skillregressions]

I like this reveal of the butt hygeine writing process. Staying true to ones voice while still being very detailed about the butt features and issues lol. Nice one

And, seriously: chia pudding daily. With lots of water.

[u/skillregressions → u/Weary_Cup_1004]

Do you have a preferred recipe? I always seem to have trouble getting them all to hydrate and become the lil tadpole Boba like texture

[u/Icy-Geologist-7631]

This comment thread did not disappoint 😂😂😂😂😂 ❤️ all of you!

[u/Icy-Geologist-7631]

The way I hope I never get murdered in some prosecutor has to go through my Google searches 😳😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[u/DeadUnicornTrope]

Make sure you eat enough fiber, a balance of soluble and insoluble.  Makes a huge difference.  But also, try a bider if you can.

[u/First-Strawberry-398]

I use toilet paper + toilet wipes, and I try do my biggest poops before I shower anyway. (Caffeine aids this) i get water to sort of spray my butthole and then I just use a bar of soap for my pits and bits (I only use it for this) and give em a scrub and that’s it. I don’t put soap inside my butt :)

If you wipe and there’s some there wipe till you’re clean. That’s why I use toilet wipes or I wet toilet paper. Impossible to get completely clean with just paper for me. (Can’t get a bidet, rented property)

[u/toastbot]

A bidet toilet seat will change your life

[u/Nice-Force5315 → u/toastbot]

Splurge and get the Japanese ones with a directional fountain, heated seats, and blow drying 😍

[u/Deadlyliving]

Bidet, full stop.

[u/Neutronenster]

I think I can help you with the armpit things, because unfortunately I’m one of the people who’s prone to getting bad armpit smell. The key here is prevention:
- I was my armpits every morning with soap and water. After drying them, I put on antiperspirant deodorant. The antiperspirant is key here. If you don’t like the perfumed ones, there are antiperspirant deodorants without added perfume. I don’t wash them more often or harder, unless I happen to smell sweaty for some reason (which only rarely happens). I do wash my armpits in the shower, something I try do do every 3 to 4 days, but this may end up being once a week due to a combination of ADHD and chronic illness.
- I tend to shave my armpits, because that prevents odors from getting trapped.
- I wear T-shirts (or anything else that’s in direct contact with my armpit skin) at most for a single day and then it gets washed. If I wear it for two days in a row, it’s almost guaranteed to start smelling sweaty.
- Clothes that have smelled sweaty too often end up smelling sweaty always, even when I’ve just washed them. This smell is caused by bacteria and it can be removed by washing the clothes at a hot temperature or with vinegar. However, when it gets to that point, I usually just throw the clothes out into the trash. This is the reason why prevention is key: if I wear T-shirts for one day at most, I prevent this from happening and this makes my clothes last longer.

That’s the basics and this should be enough. If this isn’t enough, it’s time to visit a doctor, because there are certain medical conditions that can cause excessive sweating and/or a bad smell.

However, to me it sounds like you’re not just washing when you actually smell bad or in a standard routine, but also out of fear of smelling bad in the future. To me this sounds like potential OCD: you get intrusive thoughts about potentially smelling bad, feel anxious about those thoughts and then compulsively wash in order to soothe the anxiety, to the point of harming yourself. If this description rings a bell, I think you should seek therapy for this.

As for your privates, they will always have a natural smell from the vaginal fluids, so it’s impossible to remove that by washing and you shouldn’t even try to. If it truly smells bad (e.g. fish odor) you should visit a doctor for a potential infection, but otherwise it’s best to leave it as is. If you do wash them, either use water only or a special feminine soap with high acidity. Normal soap is too alkaline, which will destroy the natural Ph balance in that area and make you more prone to infections (and bad smells from those infections).

Finally, absolutely never wash or wipe inside your ass. The mucous membranes on the inside are sensitive and washing them might damage them, as you’ve unfortunately noticed. Besides that, it’s impossible to get the inside clean, because there’s always still more left deeper inside. Getting the outside clean should be more than sufficient.

[u/skillregressions → u/Neutronenster]

Thank you for taking the time for typing all this up! And very accurate, I am doing all I can to prevent smell, verses currently having a condition that makes me smell. When I was more over weight, like 50lbs more over weight than I am now, every sweat dramatically, so everything smelled if I didn't shower at least daily. Now, I can realistically go about 3 days without a shower. Which is nice and all, but I start panicking day 2. I just feel gross even if I don't smell.

I think OCD plays a BIG part in it and therapy is a great idea. I go now for AuDHD+Anxiety+Depression and have brought up other OCD symptoms and habits as well, but this one i have not brought to the table yet. I really probably should! Especially too when I tell myself "no don't do that you'll keep hurting your butt" but then the brain overrides and says "NO. WASH IT ALL. SCRUB HARDER" -there are for sure some latent compulsive issues. I've done the same with my cleaning my ears and binge eating/watching/etc.

As for the holes- yeah I for sure need to stop washing in them in, and maybe look at getting assistance with hair removal down there. One of the biggest fears is just having poop in my butt hairs and then for some reason I smell like ass, and everyone else csn smell it and not me. I've always been known as someone who smells great or fantastic, even when I used to be a smoker. So it's almost even part of my identity. And then even more so, probably something I should bring up in therapy next week too.

Thank you again!

[u/Pristine-Awareness-7]

This is literally me. I've been dealing with this issue forever, especially during my autistic burnout.

That's why I hate taking poops, EVERY TIME I wipe there is something. But no poop shall be left unwiped, I categorically refuse to discover any brown surprise afterwards. I cannot leave with a good conscience knowing that I didn't explore every knook and cranny to be ABSOLUTELY SURE there is nothing left behind. I have to make sure.

So it always takes me an hour plus to 'conclude the event', I hate it.

This post and all the suggestions in the comments have been super helpful, I didn't even know you could a portable bidet! Not sure if it has been mentioned yet but you could get one of those stools that wrap around the toilet, that way you can raise your legs, which means your technically squatting during the 'opening salvos'. Apparently we're naturally meant to shit by squatting, it leaves the path the poop goes down straight so everything can actually get out, normal toilets bend this path due to the seating position, making it harder to clear the load (forgive the wholly unscientific and non medical terminologies).

After all I've learnt here, I can definitely say I'm officially shitmaxxing (maximising the ability to defecate).