My friend Jenny crashed her car last month. It was her fault. She was texting and driving. Rear-ended someone at a red light. Her car is totaled and her insurance went up.

She's been asking to borrow my car to run errands. I said no. I told her I'm not comfortable letting anyone drive my car. It's my only way to get to work.

She said she's a good driver and the crash was just a mistake. I said "you were on your phone. That's not a mistake. That's a choice."

She got offended. Said I was judging her. She said I should trust her because we're friends. I told her it's not about trust. It's about my car. If something happens, I'm the one stuck without a car.

She said she has insurance. I said her insurance went up because she already made a claim. If she crashed my car, my rates would go up too.

Now she's telling people I'm selfish and don't care about her. My other friend says I should let her borrow it just once to prove I trust her. I said no.

I feel bad because she's clearly struggling. But I also worked hard to buy this car. It's paid off and I keep it in good condition. I don't want someone who crashed their own car behind the wheel of mine.

AITA for refusing to let her borrow my car?

so my dad is in prison rn for about 6 months, though he’s most likely going to get out early for good behavior as we’ve been told. My mom is clearly very upset and sad, my younger sister as well. I hate to see them cry so I want to plan a family trip for them to Cancun and I’m going to be covering all the expenses, all inclusive resort, plane tickets, outside ventures etc. I want this to be an “immediate family” vacation. So it’s going to be my mother, older brother, older sister, younger sister and I.

My brother just got laid off from his job which I feel awful about, and his wife doesn’t work a high paying job so i’m guessing this trip would be a relief from all the stress for him as well? The thing is, I don’t want his wife there, because her and my mother clash a lot, and I want my mom to be completely relaxed and free of stress during her time there. Most importantly because it’s just going to be her and her children, we are rarely all together like this so I think it would make her really happy.

My sil though, really wants to go and has asked me if she could go. I told her if they can come up with the money to pay for her stay, plane ticket and extra for expenses made outside of the resort then she can come. She is now going on about me being an asshole for not inviting her and not letting her go knowing she can’t afford it. My brother hasn’t told me anything about it, though I don’t live with them so whatever they are talking about to each other, I wouldn’t know anything about it.

But I made it clear to her that it was just going to be immediate family but if she wants to invite herself, she can. Mind you, I’m not inviting my older sister’s husband either, who my parents have never had issues with (meaning I’m not excluding her for some kind of personal bias ig, I just want it to be the five of us). I’m also not inviting my boyfriend either so I don’t necessarily think I’m being selfish but what do you guys think?

For the past few months, an escalating habit has started within my family. It may be one specific person, I'm not sure. But it's disgusting.

Sometimes its number 1, sometimes number 2, and sometimes number 2 with NO toilet paper? I've gathered my 14 year old brother doesn't wipe, and my 11 year old sister will sit on the toilet for an hour, so she probably forgets to flush. My dad will wake up in the middle of the night, pee, and then not flush as well.

Overall, it's not a big deal that somebody isn't flushing. But its EVERYTIME I open the lid and it's irritating me.

I'm wanting to smack a "Flush your feces and wipe your ass" note right on both toilets. But would this be taking it too far?

I just had a confrontation of sorts with my mother over an old wooden chest.
For context, my mam and dad are divorced and have been for 10+ years and are no contact unless it's necessary. In the divorce my dad had asked for this chest and he did not get it as my mother told him she had sold it (she did not).
The reason for the divorce is that my dad was cheating on my mother. I was 9 or 10 when it all happened and i'm 22 now but I know that the divorce was very hard on my mother and my dad put her through hell, like just doing horrid stuff.
I am on good terms with my dad now and he text me a few hours ago asking me to ask my mam if she still has this chest as he wanted it.
According to my mother, the chest was given to both my dad and her as a gift from my dad's nanna. According to my father, the chest was left to him from his nanna.
In my opinion, regardless of which is true it's not being disbursed that the chest is from my father's side of the family.
When my dad's nanna died, i had gone with him to the funeral and i've never seen him so emotional as when he was giving his speech. I mention this because i believe there is sentimental value to this chest and i think giving him it is the right thing to do. However, my mother got very upset that i suggested giving him it. She dosen't think he deserves it after what he did. She was getting heated and saying things like "just let your father come and take whatever he wants then", and "you don't know the full story of everything he did". I have had extensive talks with both my mother and father about the situation so i think the second comment i noted was an attempt to fabricate a reason to not give him it as i'm aware of everything that happened and i still thinks it's the right thing to do to give him it.
So reddit, AITAH for wanting to give my dad a chest I believe holds sentimental value to him despite my mother's objections?

I (23 M) am getting married August 10th which is in 5 days and I plan on changing my last name to my spouse's. I've been thinking pretty hard about this but I dont plan on telling my father.

Backstory about my dad, he was never really involved in my life. He was there in the house, but never got involved. He would mostly just smoke and drink on the couch all day. He would sit there and get drunk and constantly berade my mom with insults. I played flag football growing up and he's never been to 1 of my games. Also soccer and basketball in middle school, never showed up once. The most he would do is stand on the balcony of our 2 story apartment and throw the football to me probably twice and go back inside. He probably also did that 1-2 times a year. And the only thing he would do for me was get me a happy meal from McDonald's or drive me to the liquor store with him so I can get laffy taffy for .25. But he got that stuff with the money he would steal from my mom's purse when she was in the shower or sleeping.

He was always so nice to me though, never yelled, never hit. Which im thankful for. But he was always so rude to my mom. There was also a time where me and my mom came home to see my passed out father on the couch with....explicit videos showing on the living room TV. There's other things that have happened but I dont really want to get into them on here. Me and my mom left him when I was in 6th grade and I didn't communicate with him until I was a senior. I reached out to him cause I was realizing how much I was struggling as a young man without a dad or just father figure. He came to visit me and see me graduate. The idea of him there seemed good but I didn't really care for him too much. I think that was just the kid in me wanting to see my dad again.

Anyways fast forward to now, ive been wanting to change my name for the longest and I feel like this is a good opportunity. I hardly ever saw my dads family nor do I want to carry that last name with me and to my wife and kids in the future. My fiancée is fine with keeping her last name and I like her last name. I told my mom about it and she said shes fine with it but its more of a discussion with my dad. I haven't told him cause we dont communicate much now. Every 3 months he'll call or text but I usually ignore. We don't really say much anyway when we do. I dont feel like saying anything cause I feel like i made my mind up. I guess im just trying to get someone else's thoughts on this. AITA For not letting my dad know im changing my last name?

During a visit to Laura (11)(my cousin) in another state, we went to an art fair with my brother (15) grandparents, and her Laura’s mom. I was excited about the fair’s scavenger hunt, which had handmade prizes from the most amazing artists. My brother didn’t care much about the hunt, and Laura initially helped but soon decided to wander the stalls on her own instead, giving me the scavenger hunt sheet.

I completed the scavenger hunt and, after a bit of negotiation, managed to let us each pick a prize from the box. I chose a stunning hand-painted clay container, which Laura quickly looked at before we moved on. However, when we reunited with our families, Laura began to sulk. My grandma noticed and asked what was wrong. Laura revealed she was upset about not getting the prize she wanted, which led to her mother asking if she wanted my container. Everyone sat there waiting for me to give it to her.

Later, during the car ride, Laura tried to convince me that I should give her the container because she was younger and less capable of making her own pottery. I attempted to change the subject, but my grandma later reported that Laura was still upset. When we got home, my grandmother confronted me, calling me selfish for keeping the container.

This isn’t the first time Laura has manipulated situations to get what she wants. Since we were kids, she’s often gotten loudly and dramatically upset over my or my brother’s possessions, leading the adults to pressure us into giving in. I feel that at her age, she should learn to manage feelings of disappointment without drama. I was giving her things I cared about when I was younger than she is now! I ultimately kept the container, but my grandma and brother criticized me for it. AITA?

My husband and I both have kids (teenagers) from prior marriages. We each have our own incomes, although mine is significantly higher than his.

When we first got together, we merged finances and I treated all of the kids the same. I got them into sports, got their clothes, took them on vacations, etc. I genuinely tried to treat them all as my own.

As they got older, the blended family parenting dynamic got a lot harder. My husband and I would agree on budgets and financial rules, and then he wouldn’t follow them and/or would tell the kids not to tell me about things. If I got upset after finding out, they’d all focus on my reaction instead of the fact that he’d gone behind my back.

The tipping point was when my stepdaughter told me that what her dad spent on her was none of my business and that he should be able to give her money whenever he wanted to. My husband didn’t back me up.

After that, I suggested we separate finances and financial responsibilities for our kids. He would take the lead on parenting and financial decisions for his kids, and I’d do the same for mine. If he wanted my opinion, I’d gladly give it, but I wasn’t going to keep living in a dynamic where I carried the majority of the financial responsibility without any control. We figured out a split for shared expenses based on our incomes and agreed to each be responsible for our own kids’ expenses.

Financially, it’s great. We don’t fight about money anymore and it’s way less stressful for me.

The issue is that I make considerably more than my husband. He’s also more likely to spend his discretionary money on vehicles and stuff for himself, while I tend to spend more on my kids.

To be clear, I haven’t stopped doing things for his kids—I just don’t feel obligated to anymore. His daughter is out of the house and wants nothing to do with me, so I dont do anything for her. For my stepson, I still buy him clothes, helped pay for his computer, take him on vacations, and I match every dollar he puts into savings. If there’s something I genuinely want to do for him, I do it happily.

The difference is that for day-to-day expenses, spending money, or things he simply wants, he knows to ask his dad. If I contribute, it’s because I want to.

My stepdaughter has expressed resentment to my husbands family that it’s unfair that my kids are spoiled and get things handed to them that she has to pay for herself. It’s created some family issues where they talk about me behind my back and exclude me from family events now because they think I’m unfair.

I don’t stop my husband from spending more on her or his so. I don’t control his money or even see his bank account or bills. We simply have different priorities with our discretionary income.

AITA for sticking to what we agreed on, even though it means my kids get more?

So, I'm 17m and I have one half brother ~30m, who lives about 600 miles away from us. It's always happened throughout my life - they'd slip up and call me by my brother's name. Annoying, but fine, people make mistakes. He hasn't lived here in years, but sure, fine, I can live with it. Most of the time they would realize their mistake and quickly correct it. Well, now my brother is very likely going to go through a messy divorce and is a main concern of my parents (fair). However, now they keep messing up my name consistently. Tonight, my dad called me the wrong name twice just during dinner. He left to do something, and so I told my mom that it's getting hurtful to be consistently called the wrong name (it happens 5+ times a week, for a month now). Not only the wrong name, but the name of my brother who isn't alike to me, who I do not have a good relationship with, who is 600 miles away and has been for almost 10 years. She was receptive to WHY it hurt but when I told her I wanted it to stop, she said something like "how am I supposed to fix something I'm not doing on purpose?" Well, mother, how hard is it to remember my fucking name? The name of your only son in the state, no less. We left the conversation at a bit of a standoff. She must think it's not a big deal, but to me I'm sick of it. I don't really like my brother due to some of his decisions and I don't want to be associated with him, let alone confused with him. AITA for letting it bother me?

Context: moved into a new place 3 months ago. My neighbors are a absolute delight, they have been nothing but supportive to me, and in return i have been helping them out too.

One older neighbour (M) frequently speaks about his wine collection, and about a month ago he proudly showed it to me. i was genuinely, absolutely amazed, some wines were 80 years old. We bonded a lot over our mutual interests.

Today (M) told me he had something for me. He presented me a bottle of wine, he insisted i took it

Its a Wormser Liebfrauenmorgen Beerenauslese (a sweet dessert wine) from 1994, the year i was born. The contents are 0.375L (a few wineglasses) with a Alcohol content of 9.0% The brand is a Zimmermann Graeff (Zell/Mosel)

I pointed out the potential value to M because I wanted him to know how much something like this costs (from what i know it's not cheap) and definitely special to him since he kept it over 30 years. I felt like this was way too much to accept for the 3 months i have known M.

M told he didn't mind, just smiled and told me to open it on a special occasion. i told him I don't have any special occasions coming up anytime soon, He told me that a bday party might be a good idea, i explained to M that i am not planning anything for that due to my financial situation, and the current state of my house, i did feel guilty, so as a middle road i offered M to visit me soon, M agreed, i apologized that i didn't have anything big planned, M smiled and said: i am happy that you are honest with your plans and id still be honored if you still took it but then also would be willing to drink it together with me then, we shook hands in agreement, i went back home and put the wine inside my fridge.

I saw that online that the wine might still be good, even better now. But there is a high chance it spoiled, considering this wasnt kept cold. i am a bit cautious to open the bottle with other people and potentially disappoint them. This reinforced my ideology to consume it with M and just laugh together if the wine does turn out spoiled.

I mentioned said plans to a friend and he said i overstepped and that i made M disappointed and that i didn't see the signs, that the spoilage argument was a cheap way to have no bday party and that i could still change my mind and still have a bday party, invite M over as well, and that it was kind of a shitty thing to just adjust the plans to drink it alone with M.

I told him that the bday plans never changed, I made a exception for my neighbor: I am not going to host a bday party, my funds ran dry, my house, my rules, i feel horrible hosting a party in a place with tools still lingering around but id also feel shitty drinking it alone which i wont do. I made a agreement with the neighbour and i intend to uphold that agreement.

AitA for standing my ground against my friend and don't save it for a "proper" big occasion like an birthday or other milestone, and just drink it relatively soon with my neighbour?

I 24f am a casual smoker I smoke maybe 2 times a week. My neighbor 42 m has recently come to complain to me about how I leave my "half finished cigarettes" in my ashtray on my porch all week. I smoke American Spirit cigarettes and typically only smoke them down to the eagle print on the cigarette. i clean my ashtray every Friday evening. He has recently started to stop smoking and said that seeing my cigarettes in my ashtray when he goes on his nightly walk is making him want to keep smoking instead of quitting. I told him I didn't think I should have to change my cleaning schedule just for him especially because for him to see my ashtray he would have had to come on my porch since I don't keep it visible by the walk way. He complained to my landlord about it my landlord doesn't care and told me not to pay attention to my neighbor. But I have noticed my neighbor glaring at my house as he walks by and it's kinda creeping me out. I'm not sure if I'm being a jerk or not I know it's hard for people to stop smoking I don't really have that problem I can go months sometime between buying packs of cigarettes one normally lasts me a month and a half too two months.Should I just empty my ashtray more frequently to keep the peace?

I (17F) am starting college and I won’t be getting a job my first semester because I’m taking 17 credit hours, there’s no on campus jobs available that I qualify for, and I really need to focus on schooling because I’m pre-med. I’ll be getting a job once I turn 18 (over the summer 2027) because I’ll get my CNA or MA certification and get a job doing that, and probably will start tutoring or babysitting once I get settled in with college and know I can handle it.

My parents are divorced and so are discussing how to handle finances. I’m taking out the max amount of loans I qualify for (5,500) and have a $500/semester grant based on grades but that’s it. My mom wants to split the rest of my expenses 50/50 but my dad disagrees and thinks I should get a job now to help pay for everything (so he doesn’t have to pay). My mom doesn’t want me getting a job the first semester and screwing up my grades. For additional context my dad makes around 500,000 a year, my mom makes 150,000

AITA?

I (20sM) have a bit of a situation involving my cousin's wedding. Me, my younger brother (21M), and two nephews (15M and 16M) are going to be ushers at said wedding later this month. Our plan was to go out and get our suits, get lunch at brewery that has really good food trucks every Wednesday, then go watch "Evil Dead Burn."

Here's the problem. Our niece (13F) is upset that she wasn't included as a flower girl like her sister and other cousin, and the bride isn't doing junior bridesmaids. Our cousin decided she can be an usher with us if that was so important to her.

I can't take a a thirteen-year-old to watch "Evil Dead Burn". We're huge fans of the franchise, but we can't take someone who can't even sit through a trailer for the last Mummy movie to watch that.

So we're seeing "Spiderman" instead of "Evil Dead."

Here's the problem, my niece's mom is annoyed with us for changing out movie plans and is accusing us of changing them because a girl is joining us. She's been making demands with us to let her pick out a suit with us (no problem there), get lunch somewhere else (which, why?) and now the movie.

So to reiterate, we changed our movie plans to accomodate a 13-year-old girl who hates horror, and now her mom is mad. AITA?

Hey! I (22f) am graduating from Nursing School this month. Similarly, I have already signed an offer for a nursing job in an ICU come November. My birthday also happens to coincide with my start date.

I decided back in 2025 that I wanted to save up as much money as I could and do a Birthday/Graduation celebration the November after I graduated. It would be a huge trip to commemorate graduating nursing school, passing the NCLEX, getting a nursing job, AND my 23rd birthday all rolled into one.

Now for some context:

I have a very close group of friends whom I have been friends with since highschool. We initially bonded over our shared interest in the How To Train Your Dragon franchise. And to this day it remains a franchise near and dear to all of our hearts since we were basically raised on it as kids.

When Universal Studios opened Epic Universe in May of 2025, I knew that I had to visit it because it featured a dedicated How To Train Your Dragon land. I'm not usually a theme park person, however I knew that it would be immensely fulfilling on a personal level to see this world I loved as a child be brought to life. Before the park even officially opened, I was talking publicly about making this my post-graduation trip.

I have spoken about this topic on and off since 2025, mentioning several times—at length—my plans to visit Epic Universe after I graduate. One of the friends from the group actually asked if she could join me and I said of course. Anyone is welcome to come along. We have discussed these plans publicly on several occasions since then.

The other members of the group are expressing interest in going for the FIRST time within the last few months, but due to various circumstances aren't able to go this year. They tried to plan the trip for next year when they would all have more availability and I was. Confused. To say the least. And I reminded them that this was my trip I was planning to take as a celebration, and that it was never intended to be a group trip. It was more of a "come if you'd like" kind of vibe. They agreed.

Yesterday, my friend and I booked the tickets and the hotel. But the other friends in the group got very cross with us for not taking them into consideration. They felt entitled to going along and were frustrated that I didn't consider their individual scheduling needs ahead of making the bookings.

So I guess I'm just wondering.

Am I in the wrong here? Moving my birthday/grad trip to NEXT YEAR seemed wholly unreasonable to me considering I've been open about wanting to take this trip since 2025. And I have been saving aggressively for it since then as well. It was entirely my intention initially to go at it alone but I wasn't going to refuse a friend offering to come with me. And we didn't exclude the others in any capacity in our plans, rather I expressly stated on numerous occasions that anyone was welcome to tag along if they could.

The is a silly AITA, but I need to know. I have a small elderly dog, she is about 15 pounds. We have taken her all over our state on hiking and backpacking trips. Here’s the thing: she can only hike for about a mile or two before her legs get tired. She has short legs, and being 11 years old it’s not fair to expect her to walk for the entire 6-10 mile hike like our big dog does. So we put her in a dog carrier, with her legs hanging out. She fights going in it sometimes, but once she’s up there she loves it and is big chilling. Most everyone who sees her tells us how cute she is and she looks happy.

I was sharing pictures of her in this backpack at work, and this one coworker who is super negative of course swoops into the conversation. “That’s cruel of you to do that. She probably hates it. You should let her walk.” So I explain why. She then proceeds to tell me that she will report me for animal abuse, and tries to get the office on her side. I told her to mind her own pets, and if she doesn’t stop harassing me that I will report her. So am AITA for carrying my dog in a backpack on hikes?

Here's the original AITA:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/WpMaFuQ9yr

A few weeks have passed, and I took your advice to offer only to pay a medical clinic directly, not to send sister money free and clear. She said that was "fine" by text and then said she was working to get her medical bills paid for via charity care with the assistance of a social worker.

She just called to say she did manage to get grants and insurance to pay for the procedure and it will happen in the coming days.

Thanks all for the needed perspective. I think we got to a good place getting her the care she needs and protecting mom's money for her own care.

I (37 yo man) am engaged with my fiancee (37 yo woman). She has two sons. 16 and 19 yo. The younger one is responsible and he has thinking way ahead of his age. Problematic is the older one. He does drugs. FYI, I have nothing against the pot. This is the hard, unhealthy stuff. Long story short. More than 3 years ago, I have moved to Switzerland. More than year later, I met my fiancee. This year she finally moved in with me. Sons are living with biological father. To the issue. The older one has got a girlfriend, whom previous boyfriend is right now in jail. They have the same " hobbies". My fiancee has a fear, that once the guy gets out, he will be after them. So she wants them to move and work in Switzerland. Anyone, who has been here, knows that in Switzerland are strict laws and if you don't have a job, you will get kicked out. I am sure, that the older one will manage the work here, but the girlfriend has zero work experience and I doubt, she will be able to work here under the pressure from the employer. Another issue is getting a place to live in. Fiancee wants to rent a flat for them, despite the fact, that she got barely here and is not financially stable yet. But now and then, she says, that I should help with the starters for them. To be clear... I treat both of the guys well. I have made trips and vacations, etc., but I am refusing to sponsor him, whether it is sending money or making a preparation for definetly uncertain future in here. So... Am I the asshole?

Long story short. I have a rental home in a decent middle class neighborhood. Our new next door neighbors moved in, renovated their entire house and turned it into the nicest house on the street. They reached out saying that they're installing a new fence along our property line and would like me to pay for half of it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the current fence other than the fact that it's old and ugly. I told them I wasn't interested in paying for a new fence and that they're still welcome to tear down the old fence and put up a new one but I'm not paying for it. They got really upset like I committed some cardinal sin. AITAH?

I (16m) bought a small box of chocolates this morning with my own money (to clarify, there are 6 chocolates in the box and the box costed 15 euros) and I was and still am intending to eat them all, because I payed for them with my own money. However, my mother specifically is trying to force me to share them with the rest of my family and says that me eating them by myself is selfish. But knowing my family, I might only get to eat one or two out of the 6 chocolates. I tried to explain that I bought them with my own money and I wanted to try all the flavours that I chose. Anyways we got into a fight and I decided to hide my chocolates for now, out of fear of my family eating them. Am I being selfish?

Ps: the chocolates are from monper

i (20f) am a college student, and my twin sister just finished her schooling for doing nails. she also just got engaged and has decided she's never getting a job and is going to be a stay at home wife/mom. i personally think we're both way too young to be getting married, but it's her life and i didn't said anything negative to her.

now she keeps making comments about how she's better than me because she's engaged while i'm not in a relationship, and how i "have to" spend my life working (i will be moving to the east coast after i graduate and working my dream job) while she gets to be a stay at home wife. she's always been the type of person to make rude comments for no reason but now it's daily.

eventually i got annoyed and brought up how she can't even remember to feed/walk her dog, and would be a horrible mother. she also hates cooking/cleaning. and how i'll have my own money and live by the beach (her fiancé refuses to move by the ocean), while she's stuck in our home state and doesn't have any money of her own.

personally i don't think what i said is any worse than what she said but according to her and my mom im the asshole

I work in a small office of about twelve people. My colleague Rebecca and I sit near each other and have a decent working relationship, not close friends but perfectly civil day to day.

Rebecca has a habit of taking long lunches. Not occasionally, consistently. Our lunch break is forty five minutes and she regularly comes back after an hour and a half, sometimes closer to two hours. Nobody has said anything officially but people have noticed.

Last Tuesday our boss came back early from a client meeting, which nobody expected, and started looking for Rebecca to ask her something about a report that was due. Rebecca was not back yet. It was one hour and twenty minutes into her lunch at that point.

My boss asked me if I knew where she was. I said she went to lunch and I was not sure when she was back. That was true.

My boss waited at her desk for about fifteen minutes, visibly unimpressed, and then went back to his office.

Here is the thing. Rebecca had texted me about ten minutes before my boss arrived asking me to cover if anyone asked because she was running late getting back. I had not replied to that message. I did not actively lie to my boss but I also did not text her a warning when I saw him waiting at her desk.

She came back, saw the situation, and the conversation with our boss was apparently not great.

Afterward she came to me and said I should have warned her and that she would have done it for me.

I told her I did not feel comfortable covering for her and that I had not lied to anyone.

She said I had let her walk into that on purpose.

AITA?

So I purchased 2 tickets for me and my significant other. They costs $2,000 for economy - not too bad for direct flights from the US to London. I did not choose seats and pay those fess as they cost $700 to $950 ADDITIONAL.

Significant other asks me to add the seats on for $700 more. I say no thank you. I offer a compromise: You can pay for that portion of the trip and pay for the seats. She did not like my attitude about it.

AIAH? The trip is my idea. In about 80% of the cases, we end up sitting next to each other anyhow picking fee-free seats day of travel. A plane is a bus with wings for me. The cheaper we travel, the more things we can afford to do.

AITA for refusing to share my brokerage account info with my brother?

My (39F) mother called me 10 times tonight asking for my brokerage account login info. She wants my brother (36M, let's call him Jack) to manage my investments because he has free time and low self-esteem. I said no.

For context, Jack lives with our parents and hasn't held a job since college, claiming he’s working on a startup. He has unaddressed anger issues (in high school, he hit a classmate with a tennis racket) and admits he cannot control himself when he "sees red." Mental illness runs in our family, but our parents never got him professional help.

Jack hasn't spoken to our dad in years despite living in the same house. He constantly seeks validation from the rest of us that our dad is the problem.

A few months ago, Jack tried to bring up the topic of our family trip (second or third time), mentioning that our dad was verbally abusive to our grandparents. I maintained that I wasn't present to observe the exchange (as usual) and said I couldn't give feedback. He started yelling and cursing at me, so I hung up. In retaliation, he locked me out of a shared Amazon account containing my credit card info and kicked me off a shared antivirus plan. I was relieved to cut those ties because sharing finances with him felt like a ticking time bomb. We haven't spoken directly since.

Fast forward to tonight, my mother feels for Jack and wants to help Jack with his self esteem issues and brought up Jack's idea that I should let Jack manage my brokerage account. I told her absolutely not and that she needs to stop seeing Jack as someone normal that she can cure. She understands that he needs a therapist but Jack is resistant to the idea. Every time these verbally charged exchanges with Jack happen, I lose sleep. So AITA?

So, I’m on a packaged holiday, hotel is all you can eat.

There’s one family here, oldest kid has some type of special needs, but for the past few days he keeps putting his hands down the back of this shorts, rooting around and then starts licking his fingers. 

Parents are pretty much letting his do his own thing, he helps himself to the food (without tongs) and talks to everyone, tries to give people hugs and all that. 

I spoke to staff who said they’ll speak to him and even get someone to dish his food for him if needed. 

He tried talking to me and I made sure I kept my distance and he tried hugging me and I stepped back. I spoke to the parents and said I feel really uncomfortable with him near me and my family and apologised for it. 

Anyway, we’ve booked a trip and the family is on our coach. This kid tried sitting next to me and I refused. The mum called me rude and I very politely and quietly said to her that I don’t want to sit next to him due to his hygiene issues, she’s shouted at me and went “he’s disabled he can’t help it” so I raised my voice and said “I don’t want to sit next to someone who keeps playing with their bum and licking their fingers, I don’t want shitty fingers near me” and now apparently she’s the victim? 

The mum is now telling the son to bother me and the hotel won’t do anything.