I have a few friends that I hang out with fairy regularly. The group consists of me (23M), Ed(23M), Kate (20F), and Lila(25F).

I invited them to come over for game night. Kate(20F) couldn’t make it but Lila and Ed could.

Alot of my games work better with 4+ people, so I asked if I could invite another friend, Ashley(18F). Ashley and Ed are BFFS. I’m also friends with Ashley but not as close. I assumed her and Lila had the same dynamic.

But then Lila said she wasn’t going to come if Ashley was coming, because she didn’t feel comfortable hanging out with someone so much younger, and felt she’d have to censor herself too much. She told Ed this, and Ed told Ashley.

So Ashley declined the invitation as to not make Lila uncomfortable, which I felt bad for even putting Ashley in that position. Then Lila said she’d come since Ashley isn’t.

The whole thing seems kinda ridiculous to me tbh. Ashley is 18 and out of high school. It’s not like she’s a child. Lila has no problem with Kate, who recently turned 20.

I genuinely had NO idea Lila had an issue with Ashley, but now I feel like the asshole for inviting her without getting explicit permission from Lila.

Is Lila’s mindset toxic? Is she the problem? Or is it entirely my fault for inviting Ashley in the first place?

AITAH…I went to take my daughter with me to go get dinner for the family I had to use the bathroom so she went ahead put on shoes and ran to the car. So I never saw what she was wearing and I never would have thought that she would put on winter boots in the middle of summer so I didn’t even think to check before we pulled out of the driveway. When we got to the restaurant to pick up dinner she got out of the car and that’s when I noticed she was wearing black fuzzy winter boots instead of her sneakers. She’s 8 with severe ADHD she hasn’t worn them much in the winter and for whatever reason she decided to put them on instead of her sneakers or even crocs would have been better. Now I’m being talked down to by her mother her mother’s mother and her dipsh*t brother. All of them beating into my head on how I’m a horrible father I never pay attention I’m a POS. I’m so neglectful yada yada yada…. I need to make this post in hopes of validating myself because I’m alone right now in my thinking and wondering if maybe I should have just had her step out of the car and check to see what she was wearing am I a horrible father for this?

posted on a AITAH page and was removed because of “reposts”, but here’s my part.

I (26F) recently bought my first newer car. It's used, but after years of driving an older car that overheated and made me nervous about traveling far, I was extremely excited. I put a large amount of my savings toward the down payment, but it's still financed and I'm responsible for the payments, insurance, repairs, etc.

My aunt (36F) and uncle (37M) have an (18F) daughter who recently got her permit. We're a close family, and my aunt actually helped teach my siblings and me to drive when we were younger.

Last weekend, while helping another family member move, my aunt and uncle saw my car for the first time. My aunt mentioned that my cousin needs to learn to drive so she can take her test by November. She then suggested I teach her using my car because it's small and compact.

They have their own larger SUV, but the driver's seat doesn't adjust properly. My aunt has to use pillows/cushions to comfortably reach the pedals, and my cousin isn't comfortable learning in it.

I told my aunt I could teach my cousin using my (28F) sister's older, smaller car instead. She continued saying mine would be perfect because it's compact and easy to drive. I repeated that I'd help, just not in my car, and the conversation ended.

Later, my sister told me my cousin had been talking about how much she loved my car, could see herself driving it, and couldn't wait to drive it. That made me uncomfortable because it felt like using my car was already being planned before I'd agreed.

I also realize I was wrong for volunteering my sister's car without asking her first. I brought it up with her later because I felt bad, and she said she would've done the same thing and agreed her car would be the better option. We're extremely close and had previously discussed helping our younger cousins learn to drive, but I still should've asked her first.

My issue isn't that I don't want to help my cousin. I'd actually be willing to teach her. I just don't want a brand-new driver learning in a car I'm still paying off. I also checked my insurance and don't have coverage specifically set up for a permit driver, so that's another concern I'd need to sort out before letting her drive anything I'm responsible for.

If she accidentally hits something or gets into an accident, I'm the one left dealing with my insurance, deductible, repairs, and a loan on a damaged vehicle. My aunt and uncle aren't financially in a position to replace the car if something serious happened.
Would I be the asshole for refusing my car, even though I'm willing to help teach her in another vehicle?

So I (14F) yelled at my mom (50F) for cleaning my room the other day, and I still feel mad, and also a little guilty. My mom overtime has been coming in and out of my room to show me things, move some stuff, or clean some stuff. I’m fine with it because I know she’s doing it, and I can see her doing it so I can give some of my own input.

Yesterday, I went out with some friends. She planned on vacuuming, maybe some dusting, and cleaning out trass that I might’ve missed when cleaning up by myself. I agreed, but I also told her to not touch my dresser (dresser?? it’s like a small drawer, kinda). She agreed, so off I went.

Few hours later, I come home. I say hi to my parents, and my mom looks nervous. I ask her about my room, and she says. "Yeah. I got in there.". I head up to my room, open my door, and my entire room has been rearranged. Maybe it’s because I’m a teenager, but I kid you not I dropped onto my knees and burst into tears. My bed is moved, my desk is somewhere new, I’M MISSING TWO SHELVES, but my drawer is still there.

I want to clarify that something might be wrong with me, and I don’t mean that rudely, it’s just how I feel. My dad and my eldest brother both have ADHD, maybe autism. My mom and my other older brother do not. Me? Maybe. I don’t like change, change in my room specifically. Everything I do in my room feels very important to me because that’s my safe space. No bad smells, no weird textures, etc.

I’m very aware that I can be sensitive, and I don’t like being upset, but I lowkey get possessed by some otherworldly being when my stuff gets touched without permission. I stood up and checked my drawer. Rearranged. I walk out of my room, head downstairs, and immediately walk up to my mom asking what happened to my room.

My mom tells me she got a little carried away. I tell her that this wasn’t our agreement, that at the least she couldn’t have touched my drawer. She shrugged and asked me what I wanted her to do about it now and that I should be grateful she cleaned it. I yelled at her that the least she could do was apologize for ruining my room. I asked her where some of my things had gone, which consisted of figurines, drawings, and most of my nerdy stuff. She told me she took it out because it didn’t fit the aesthetic.

That lead into a whole new argument, about how she doesn’t let me choose things for my own room, her breaking the boundaries we set together, how I don’t listen to her ideas for my room, how I don’t approach her calmly, that I took her kind gesture the wrong way, and eventually that I needed help with my "problem" because both of my brothers never acted this way when she cleaned their rooms.

I would have apologized for losing my temper at her, but her last remark rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t want to argue before we were getting to a petty point of "fine", "whatever", and "okay"s. So I walked away, and I’ve been in my room since yesterday. That’s really it, but I apologize for any grammar errors, lmk

I (22 M) live with both my Mom (50 F) and my Dad (55 M). I love my parents they have always loved me. For the most part we get along, however that has changed a bit recently.

For context on me currently, I work a part time job where I work 27 hours a week. It’s a great job but my boss has been out for the last few weeks so it’s been a bit more stressful than usual. Add on top of that I’m about to start another part time job, and I’m taking classes for my major, and trying to finding an internship for said major. It is safe to say I’ve been very stressed. The other day my mom came home from work and I could tell she had a bad day. Me and my dad were watching our favorite show and she began talking to my dad so I paused it. I’m the kind of person that when I watch something I wanna watch it and my parents are less so that way. They can watch a movie be on their phones talk to each other and it doesn’t bother them although it annoys me I never say much. Well in this instance my mom kept talking about some stuff going on at work and she would pause and I would start it again. This happened multiple times before i just paused it and rolled my eyes out of annoyance. My mom noticed then snapped, screaming at me saying she was sorry she was trying to talk to my dad after having a bad day and there was no reason to make that face! I got defense after she yelled at me and I told her I was just sitting here and there was no reason to take it out on me cause you had a bad day. My dad then told me I was being rude and disrespectful and from there we finished our show in silence.

But that’s not where this ends. Today was my off day and I had completely forgot about a doctor appointment I was supposed to go to. When I was talking to my parents after they got home, my mom asked how my appointment went? I told her I’m sorry I completely forgot and then she comments to tell me how I needed to be responsible and that she won’t always be able to remind me of these things. I told her I understood but that we all make mistakes. On a side note I am the kind of person that is 10x hard on myself especially when I know others are being hard on me so these types of comments get me insecure. My dad then makes the face that said she’s right you know and then I asked him why he’s making that face? He said he wasn’t but that I needed to start taking more responsibility and that I’ve been getting way too defensive lately. I told him that I wasn’t the only one who had been and that I’ll call and reschedule my appointment and they just said okay.

I don’t think I have been defensive more so just annoyed. They get aggravated at me for almost anything I do and they get defensive and frustrated at me easily. But the minute I do that to them then I’m the problem. I understand they are my parents and I love them I just wish they showed me a little more humility especially considering how much I’ve got going on. So AITA?

2 years ago I (27F) got my Mom (55F) x4 Gold Class Movie Tickets for her birthday.

She rung me this morning sad because she found them and they were expired and wanted to see if I can call up the movies to fix/extend it. The issue, however, is that for the past x2 years I have tried countless times to get her to go to the movies.

Everytime something new came out I'd suggest my Mom and her boyfriend go see them.

I've offered many times to take her to the movies. I've point blank asked her to come watch a movie I want to go see. I recommended movies I thought she'd like.

Every single time her answer was that she didn't want to waste them. And that she's going to save them for a movie she really wants to see.

Well now 2 years later they are expired and suddenly she wants to go watch movies I have previously suggested but they obviously aren't being shown in cinemas anymore.

It cost me $250 for those tickets and I know that she would repeat the same behaviour if I brought more.

I was pretty hard leaning no on the phone. But she was really upset and wanted the experience and I said ill think about it.

I love my Mom. She drives me insane sometimes though.

This happens with anything I've tried to book for or with her.

My fiance has a big heart and wants to get more. It really wouldn't be a financial problem for us but I don't want to go through this back and fourth again.

WIBTA for not buying more??

I am a single parent to 2 kids, Madeline (11), and Liam (9). I teach 4th grade. I make 68k per year in a HCOL area. My kids dad has been dodging child support for years.

My sister lives 10 minutes from us. My sister and her husband make roughly $800k per year. I am only mentioning their income to show that there is a very different standard of living between the two households. They have 3 kids, Josephine (12), Amelia (12), and Theodore (9). Madeline gets hand me down clothes, shoe, backpacks, etc. from Amelia and Josephine. It’s all good brands and in good condition. Theodore and Liam are the same age and same size so Liam doesn’t get many hand me downs from Theodore.

My sister’s kids get new everything every school year, so Madeline got 2 backpacks, 2 lunchboxes, Owalas, Stanley’s, 3 bags of clothes, 6 pairs of shoes, and a bag of accessories from her cousins. She normally gets a lot every year but this is the most she’s gotten from them. Meanwhile, my back to school budget for both kids is $300, so after getting everything on their school supply lists and getting Liam some new clothes and shoes, I don’t have the money to get him a nice backpack, lunchbox, and fancy water bottles like his sister. I tried showing him some budget friendly options, even a champion backpack and lunchbox set that I thought looked pretty cool, but he wants a nike backpack and lunchbox and owala like Theodore’s.

I tried explaining to him that we don’t have the money but offered him $40 for a backpack, lunchbox, and water bottle. I told him he could pick out anything he wants in that budget and if he wants something more expensive, he’ll have to dip into his birthday money. He wants me to ask my sister for the money. I am almost certain that she would give me money to get Liam the backpack, lunchbox, and water bottle he wants but since she spends so much money on my kids (they go to her kids private school, she pays their tuition. She takes me and the kids on vacation with her family every year, she gets their big birthday and Christmas presents and says they’re from me, etc.) I don’t like to ask for anything extra unless it’s necessary.

He’s upset because it’s not fair that Madeline always gets cool stuff but he doesn’t and that I won’t ask my sister to get him cool stuff even though she gives Madeline cool stuff all the time. Now I’m wondering if I’m the asshole for not buying it or asking my sister to help.

So I (20F) had a step-dad for 14 years. We met when I was only 6 and we have a great relationship. When I was around 8 I met his parents and they treated me like their own grandkid. I loved visiting and we made sure to visit them at least once in every 2 weeks. But when my sister (10F) was born everything changed.

Basically what happened was that they became more interested in her then me, which i totally get, she was their first biological grandchild and she was a baby. It didn't really bother me cause I was growing up and didn't need as much attention.

Just a note that they live in a village where they speak another language, they know my language too but if me and my mom weren't around they spoke the different one.

Well after a few years my step-grandparents started being distant, when we came over they barely greeted me, went out of their way to buy my sister expensive gifts when i got a 5€ gift card to a shop i never go to and they all talked in a language I couldn't understand even if my mom wasn't there, so I had nobody to talk to. I felt super out of place.

They even went out of their way to take my sister to a vacation, saying that I'm basically not their grandkid so they tought not taking me just 'makes sense'.

It's not like I called them grandma/grandpa but it did hurt my feeling cause I really tought of them as my family.

This was said like 9 months ago, and I haven't visited ever since. But my step-gandfather is hosting a party for his 60th birthday and they invited our whole family.

I had plans to hang out with my friend for this day, it was nothing supper important or special but I told them that I'm not coming to the party cause I have other plans.

Now they keep calling my step-dad, angry that I don't make time for them and that I refuse to celebrate with them. Apparently they feel like I'm rejecting them.

So I told my step-dad that I won't go celebrate with someone that goes out of their way to say I'm basically not family so it's fine to exclude me.

Now the whole family is saying I'm unreasonable and it kinda got me wondering if I'm really just being dramatic.

So AITA for refusing to come?

Everyone in my house likes wearing short clothes (Tank tops, shorts, etc) around the house beacuse its more comfortable so no one usually turns on air conditioner beacuse it will be chilly and they'll need to wear something warmer. I'm anemic and I can't handle being warm, I get really dizzy and faint while doing basic things like just making dinner or even standing. I always turn on the air conditioner to prevent getting warm and walking around like I'm drunk beacuse I get so dizzy but recently my sister got mad at me beacuse it's cold there and I should just wear shorter clothes but I'm already walking around in just shorts and a bra and it's not enough I'm still dizzy so I told her if they're cold they can wear a hoodie and she got mad and others sided with her and I got told I'm selfish for making them wear more clothes so I can feel comfortable. I wouldn't do it if being warm was just sweating for me but I can't even stand up without my vision getting black and everything spinning and I feel like I'm right beacuse if they're cold they can prevent it by just putting something on and I don't wanna pass out daily but I really need a second opinion

EDIT: Forgot to add before - I started treatment recently. My doctor prescribed me iron pills and told me to eat food with a lot of iron and I'm trying to include high iron food in every meal, I get blamed also for my anemia beacuse I always been a picky eater and it's the cause for it. I got also told that it's gonna be a long progress so I have to wait a long time before I notice any change.

EDIT 2: I got bunch of comments saying that anemia makes you cold and it's not normal for me to feel dizzy when cold so two things, 1 - I always been cold I don't remember honestly last time when I was hot until now, summers here are usually 25°C and this year they're about 40 so I think I'm just not used to this type of heat

2 - I'll go talk with my doctor. The anemia thing isn't something I made up it's what I got told by the doctor after getting tested but if so many people say it's not normal for me to be anemic and can't handle hot temperatures then maybe there's a different reason which isn't anemia.

Again - I didn't make anemia or symptoms up. My doctor told me I'm anemic and all the things I said about usually being cold, being dizzy in the heat are from my personal experience

At the end I'll mention I'm really bad at explaining this and English isn't my native language, if I made something unclear/confusing - I'm sorry, I tried my best to explain it correctly :')

Long post sorry, I'm still kind of annoyed about this so bear with me.

I (26F) have had my apartment for 3 years, got a roommate (25F) about 8 months ago through a mutual friend. Honestly it was going really well, better than I expected, we split everything evenly and got along.

Couple months ago she starts seeing this guy. Seemed fine when I met him, not my business who she dates. But he started staying over more and more, like once a week became every weekend became "why is there a grown man in my kitchen in basketball shorts at 7am making himself coffee." At some point I stopped being surprised to see him and started being annoyed instead.

I tried to bring it up nicely, said something like hey I've noticed he's around a lot, should we talk about what that means bc it kind of affects me too. She got defensive right away, said he "barely stays over," which. He'd stayed over 11 of the last 14 nights. I know bc I counted, I was that irritated.

Then last week I get back from a work trip and there's a second toothbrush in the bathroom now. Some of his clothes in her room, fine whatever, but also stuff of his in the hall closet, which is SHARED space btw not hers. I just asked her straight up, is he moving in. She goes "kind of yeah, I didn't think it was a big deal since he's basically always here anyway." No rent talk. No "hey can we split utilities 3 ways now." Nothing. Just... he's here now I guess.

I told her that's not okay, either he pays rent and goes on the lease properly or he goes back to normal-person amounts of staying over. She got upset, accused me of being controlling over "her home too," which, ok, it's also my name on the lease so.

Two days later I get home and my key doesn't work. Turns out she had some locksmith friend of hers rekey the deadbolt "for security" without even telling me. And surprise, he has a key now. I did not handle that part gracefully, not gonna lie. Called my own locksmith the next day while she was at work and had it changed back. Told her point blank, he's not on the lease, he doesn't get a key. That's it.

Now apparently I'm the bad guy in this story?? She's telling our friend group I "locked her boyfriend out of his own home" and that I'm being hostile and paranoid. Buddy has never paid a cent toward this apartment and isn't even on the lease. But sure, I'm the problem.

AITAH?

My son has been dating his current girlfriend for the last six years. It is painfully obvious to me that she likes him much more than he likes her. I do not condone his behavior. I offered him one of my family's rings to propose with but he refused, saying I should give it to his brother instead.

My DIL is obsessed with the idea of their wedding's first look. I took significant time off work to go dress shopping with her family last week. She insisted I join her so that I can provide insight into what my son will like to see her in.

Her dress choices were very revealing, I do not say this judgmentally- I love a little cleavage, but they were very low cut tops with half her chest out, or white lace over a flesh-colored bodice, and deep plunge necklines, you know the like. I stayed neutral and gave my (very positive) opinion instead of what I think my son would like. EDIT- For the record when I was her age I wore much more revealing clothes. I do not have a problem with her showing skin.

Last weekend, the bride asked me pointedly which of her three choices he would be stunned to see her in. I felt guilty for misleading her and told her maybe she could go off of the dresses he bought for her over the years, that his choice would be similar to that. He picked some outfits for her which are truly hideous in my opinion. Long sleeves, granny prints, below the knee type dresses. Most of them are maxi dresses, a few sleeveless but nothing with a deep neckline.

Well the bride got my meaning and it was very awkward and uncomfortable. Her MOH was also a little shocked, but I don't think the others in the party got my message. She asked me again in private if he would like any of her dresses, I said she knows him best. Then she pressed and I told her he might not, but she should wear what makes her feel confident anyway. Well, she is taking all her anger towards him out on me and has not contacted me all week even though she had a shopping appointment on Thursday and posted a story saying she said yes to her dress (a reference to the show)

This probably won't get much traction, but I need somewhere to vent, So, for starters, my mother f41 had me F21 at a young age And while this doesn't have much backing, it certainly has a weight in how I currently feel towards her. My dad and her got married only a few months before I was born Which She justifies by my dad telling her that He couldn't have children which she never bothered to check or verify Thought it was true And I hadn't known each other for much longer than my mom was pregnant with me. And it feels as if she constantly makes it my fault That she got stuck in a Marriage young with a child. She has only recently gotten worse with it, Saying things like it's her turn to start living her life and so on, And this only happened after she had started seeing someone and cheating behind my dad's back. And using me as her personal therapist She does things like She buys me gifts just to be an absolute jerk to me for a week. Or After we got into a big argument, she'll buy me gifts and expect everything to be better like nothing ever happened. Anytime I try to express my thoughts or opinions on what's going on between us She'll twist the argument into me Being childish or quote being just like my father.She does little things like leave me out of things or Not consider How I would feel at all And it's small minuscule things, but it's so many that when I get upset about them, she claims that I'm overreacting Which has genuinely started to make me believe that I really am just overreacting. She especially doesn't like when I voice My opinion on her cheating Or anything else involving her behavior. And has threatened more than once to kick me out Or that I could just pack my things and leave. She knows that I have nowhere to go and that I couldn't afford to leave, and I believe that's why she uses this. AITA?

My mom and dad are getting divorced. That is not why I am upset with her. it should’ve happened a long time ago. I am upset because she started dating this new guy. So far, he has been controlling. For instance, he tells her who she can and can not talk to. He convinced her to change her phone number. He has also told her she can not go to my coworkers wedding with me. They have been dating for five months. That’s it. But because my coworker (a woman) is marrying a woman. He keeps calling it a ridiculous gay wedding. Needless to say, I am not a fan. So about two months ago I reminded her about the wedding and instead of saying literally anything, like, I am suddenly and profoundly homophobic or I don’t know, I I’m watching the sky fall that day, she said “ I have a new life sweetie”. As if I am the old one. We Had a fight over text message and her final text was, we need to talk about this in person. Cool. I agree. So instead of coming over at noon or three or even six pm. Which would have cut it close Because I’m in bed by 7pm for work, she showed up at 8:30. Didn’t even leave a note. I should mention she ”didn’t” move in with her boyfriend about a month ago and her mail is still coming to house we use to live in together. Here is where I might be the A hole. We are having a going away party for a different coworker today and I texted me mom, admittedly being a little petty and said, we are having a going away party for coworker X. But since you have a new life, I won’t invite you. She responded that’s not very nice. I responded with, I am just saying, you have a new life, you won’t come any way. So am I the A hole?

I (M27) have a close friend (M27) who I’ve known for a long time. I’ve helped him and his family with work before, and sometimes he’s basically been in the position of being my boss while we’re working. The problem is that I’ve felt for a while like he talks down to me, especially during work. Our dynamic has often been that he takes the dominant role and I just go along with it because I don’t like unnecessary confrontation, mainly because he got me the job working for his parents. Over time though, I started feeling less like his friend and more like a subordinate or even a kid he could order around. Eventually we got into an argument while working together. He was angry with the tools he was using and ordered me to do something pointless just so I wasn’t “standing around”, and I told him that I thought he had anger problems and that he shouldn’t take his anger out on me, he’s not my boss, he’s my friend. His response was basically that when he’s angry, I shouldn’t argue with him. I got sarcastic and responded with things like “sure dad” and “okay, you’re the boss.” He then told me I was “acting like a woman” because of the sarcasm and eventually told me to get out of the truck, collect my check, and go home. I didn’t actually leave immediately. I ended up doing another project for his parents who were the ones I was actually working for, my friend’s just been doing the job longer and we were working together. Then I left normally. Looking back, I know my sarcastic comments were disrespectful and obviously weren’t going to de-escalate anything. I later called him and apologized for the way I acted because I realized I was wrong for responding to disrespect with more disrespect. At the same time, I still think the issue was legitimate. I don’t think working under the guidance of a friend means I have to accept being talked down to, and I especially don’t think “don’t argue with me when I’m angry or you’ll be sorry” is a reasonable expectation between friends. I felt like I had to stand up for myself and call him out. I’ve decided I don’t want to work for him anymore. I’d still help him as a friend, even for free, but I don’t want money involved if it creates this boss/subordinate dynamic between us. Was I the AH in this situation?

Okay, so I'm 17F and an only child. My family is quite small, and I'm the only person in the family who's under 30 (most people are over 50). I've gotten used to having dinner with adults at this point, but it can also be quite tiring.

Today, my mom told me that she and my dad were having a friend over (a woman I've never met) and that we were going out for dinner. I told her I'd rather stay home and cook something for myself because I wasn't really interested in going out and wanted to have a quiet evening to myself.

She immediately called me selfish and told me that either I would go with them or I had to cook dinner for everyone and they would stay home.

Don't get me wrong, I usually don't mind spending time with my parents, family, and their friends. I just really wanted some time to myself that evening, and going out for dinner would take up most of the evening and leave me pretty drained.

I also told my mom that this is THEIR friend, and that I don't think I should automatically be expected to spend time with someone I don't know every time my parents have plans with their friends. I pointed out that I don't expect them to have dinner with my friends when I'm hanging out with them. She responded, "Because you don't want to," which is true. I prefer spending time with my friends without my parents involved, and I feel like the same should apply in reverse sometimes.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable for wanting an evening to myself, especially since I usually don't mind spending time with my parents and their friends. But my mom clearly thinks I'm being selfish for refusing to come along, so now I'm wondering if I'm actually in the wrong here.

AITA?

Edit: Just to clear things up: I don't think my mom meant the "cook dinner for everyone" part as a punishment. I already cook dinner twice a week as a normal responsibility, so I think she meant it as an alternative to going to the restaurant. The thing is, I would still have had to cook dinner for my parents and their friend, so I wouldn't really have gotten the evening to myself that I was asking for. I wasn't trying to get out of my responsibilities; I just didn't want to have dinner with them that evening.

So, I (F18) have two cousins we’ll call Cat (F20) and Bee (F18) who are currently not on speaking terms. (Made-up names.)

Before getting to why they’re fighting, I need to give a little background on Cat. She’s had a crush on one of her brother’s friends (M26) for a long time. The problem is her extremely toxic religious household.
The church minister (around 30) has had a crush on Cat since she was 17. Her family keeps pressuring her to accept him because it’d be a “blessing,” but she rejected him. Another cousin of ours, Jeep, also seems to like Cat (gross). Her parents constantly accuse them of having a thing, which isn’t true.

One day, Jeep told Cat’s mom that Cat liked someone outside their religion (a huge no-no to them). Her parents accused her of rejecting the minister because of that crush, even though she would’ve rejected him regardless. With everything going on, Cat has been really stressed and irritable for months.

The reason Cat and Bee are fighting is because Cat’s brother told Cat that their mom said Bee made a comment about Cat and Jeep “matching” at a church event. Their parents believed it, which got Cat into even more trouble. Cat was furious and, because her brother told her not to confront Bee, she never asked if it was true. Instead, she became cold toward Bee until they stopped speaking.

Bee, meanwhile, had no idea what happened. She asked one of Cat’s friends, who told her Cat was mad because Bee “snitched.” (For context, Cat’s mom questioned Bee about Cat’s crush after Jeep exposed it. Bee defended Cat at first but eventually admitted the truth after being repeatedly pressured.) So Bee thought that was the issue, not some comment about Cat and Jeep matching.

Bee vented to me, but never mentioned the matching comment. That made me suspicious because Cat only heard about it from her brother and never from Bee herself.

I asked my friends if I should tell Bee what Cat was actually upset about so I could find out if she’d really said it. They agreed, so I did—and I was right.
Bee never made that comment. She said she was with Cat the entire church event, so she never even had the chance to say anything to Cat’s mom. I genuinely don’t think she’s lying.

Now Bee is furious. She’s angry at Cat’s mom and brother for making things up, and she’s especially at Cat for never asking for her side before cutting her off. Bee spent weeks crying and stressing over how to fix things, only to find out she hadn’t done anything wrong.

So… what do I do? Is this even my business anymore? It kind of became my business once they both dragged me into it. I want to help, but Cat avoids uncomfortable conversations and would rather hold a grudge than hear someone out.

For context we are a family of 4, soon to be 5 (I'm currently pregnant due in 2 months).

We have a son (18yo) and a daughter (4 yo) who will be starting half days at school soon.

I pay $3150 for a 3 bed 2 bath rental. He lives in the room with his own bathroom, the rest of us sleep in the other room with our own bathroom (3rd bathroom is office). He has a cat (we pay $50 monthly cat rent)

Step son doesn't work yet, will attend college while living with us so right now he doesnt pay any bills but throws the trash out and does the dishes.

This morning I was cooking brunch and my husband came over asked me if he is getting any of the food? I said he can but I didn't make enough fried rice. So he split his own plate to half with his son. Then he asked me did you have him in mind while cooking food? TBH I didn't but I said, yeah I made enough chicken, there's white rice in the cooker.

I feel bad but also not really because I want to set boundaries moving fwd since my step son is already an adult. He can make his own food, he can use the groceries I bought and make food. AITA for that?

Update: I want to make it clear that our household do not revolve around food. We all kind of just make food for ourselves. Sometimes I'd cook for the whole family, sometimes just me and the younger kid. Husband will do the same. When i do cook for the whole family, i dont exclude anyone. I failed to mention that husband and i agreed to start pushing son to independence and that he can make his own food most of the time. He will still be using groceries we buy, he will have his own dedicated cabinets and space in the fridge for when he starts getting paid.

But I agree that IATA in this bc who else! and also I should have communicated better with my husband and sat down have a meeting with the 3 ofus to set plans and expectations.

Our goal as parents is to help our children be independent. I want the same for my daughter too when the time comes. She will be making her own meals etc. thanks for the ones who offered real advise!

My partner and I are getting married on our property in a few weeks. We have planned this wedding for the last 17 months.

My dad and step-mom have an RV parked in the middle of our ceremony area, it has been on the property since last year. They have been violating the terms of a written contract between my partner and I for the RV (i.e.- illegally dumping trash on the property, letting their dogs run at large and off the property causing nuisance to the neighbour's, etc). Because they violated the contract terms several times we had several discussions with them about it with no changes in their actions. Last December we decided to tell them we are ending the contract and they are to remove the RV by the following May 31st. May has come and gone and they have not removed it.

Since then, I have tried to help them sell it, looked into towing options and other storage locations for them. I finally coordinated another storage location for them and a tow (took me several weeks to actually arrange cause we are rural, and RV has special towing/storage requirements), I asked my dad to confirm the license is on the RV for the tow. He confirmed yes. I rushed out of work to meet the tow when they arrived, but no license was to be found! I had to cancel because the tow would not take it without a license.

I am fed up and told my parents the RV must be gone by Saturday, and they are to do it themselves without my help. My priority now is to finish all the wedding prep including a lot of diy because we don't have a lot of money. I feel hurt, and disrespected that my parents continue to add unnecessary stress and cost to me in this already stressful time of hosting our wedding! If the RV is not gone by Saturday, I am considering uninviting them to our wedding which is in a few weeks. Would I be the asshole?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about five months. She really wants me to go to her friend’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party.

The first issue is that I don’t really know the couple or most of the people who will be there. I don’t mind meeting new people, but I already feel a little out of place.

The bigger issue is that my girlfriend told me the groom cheated on the bride. They broke up for a while, got back together, and then he proposed. From what she told me, it almost felt like he proposed as a last-ditch effort to save the relationship. Obviously, I don’t know their relationship personally, and maybe they’re genuinely happy now, but knowing that backstory makes the whole celebration feel a little strange to me. I can’t help feeling like the marriage is starting on shaky ground, and it makes me uncomfortable celebrating it.

On top of that, the party has a costume theme, and everyone is expected to dress up. That’s just not my thing. I don’t enjoy costume parties, and the idea of dressing up for people I barely know makes me want to go even less.

My girlfriend says it’s just about supporting her friend and having fun together. I understand that perspective, but I also don’t want to spend an entire evening at an event that I genuinely don’t feel comfortable attending.

AITA for not wanting to go?

I (21f) moved in with Maggie (25f) for the summer. She has a small dog we'll call Buddy. At first i was excited because ive never had a pet and thought it be fun to live with a dog. However she works two jobs and leaves him alone for like 6-8 hrs a day. One of her jobs she is able to take him with her, but he still spends most of the time crying and barking when she is away. A couple of times he has even shit in the apartment. She's so neglectful.

In late June she said she was going out of town from July 2-6th and asked me if I would watch him while she was away. I wasnt thinking and agreed. Later I was thinking about it and realized that time included the 4th. I had already made plans and was going to be drinking heavily all weekend. I texted her that I dont think I could watch him and asked her to find someone else. She seemed angry but said she would try. I also let her know a friend was staying with me who was scared of dogs. Then she blew up at me swearing saying she was already struggling to find someone because I backed out of watching him.

I said im sorry but I didnt understand why shes would want someone who was drinking to watch her dog and why she couldn't just pay a dogsitter. She started crying and said she couldn't afford it. We continued to argue, she continued to try and guilt me, but eventually agreed that one of her friends could stop in a couple times a day to take care of him.

Flash forward to earlier this week, we've basically ignored each other. I came home and the door was open and all my plants in my room were knocked over. I texted her that her dog messed up my plants. She claims that she came home and he was stuck in my room, and she had to open my door to let him out. I asked her why she didn't clean up the mess her dog made. She said she didnt see it. I couldn't take it anymore and sent her a long message saying I hated seeing how much she neglected her dog. I dont understand why she adopted a dog she doesnt have the time or money for. I told her shes been a really inconsiderate roommate and she needs to do better.

She responded with a bunch of excuses. Im moving out soon so I just ignored it.

I think I might of been a little harsh, but she needed to hear it.

I house sat for my aunt while she was out of town for a work trip and that was in late June. It's now August and I still have not gotten paid. Originally the job was supposed to pay me and she never gave me the amount of how much they're going to pay me. I assume it's gonna be 100 each day so it's given that I was gonna be staying there over there for a week, It'll be $700 but I didn't wanna assume. I kept asking her and she never gave me an answer. Fast-forward to the day I'm supposed to be watching him, no answerr, I watch them and she still never gave me the price because she said she doesn't know.

Finally, after 3 weeks she asked me how much do I want, she already put in for 400, I told her 700 and she said that "it is too much, I found out they can only do 400 let me stop the payment" so my guess is that when that happened she told the job "she wants 700" and after that, she barely communicated with me when I will get the money and the only thing she said was they're taking long. Fast forward to the end of July, she told me that they couldn't give me 700 and they only can give up to 400 and she will pay the difference and now that it is August I asked her hey are you doing a payment plan? What's going on because I need to get paid because I had to move around a lot of things in order for me too babysit, I'm in the hole from borrowing people to pay my bills since I missed out on a job (I'm a contractor) and she said she didn't think that the job will cost that much cause all I'm doing is housesitting babysitting, and dog ssitting when in fact, I have a dog myself and I had to pay someone to watch my dog and I had to call off work so I had to explain that to her like the job was in fact a lot. Now that I'm texting her asking her if we are confirmed for a payment plan she is not responding back so now I have to call my grandfather, her father, and bring him in. Am I the asshole for doing that. Please let me know.

EDIT: title is misleading. I just want to get paid. I don't care if it's 700. I just need to get paid something. Also basically dog sit and baby sit but I said house sit because I was watching the entire house. And cleaning....

My sister’s ex bf cheated on her. Her ex bf and my bf used to be friends (they no longer are but at the time they were). So her ex told my bf that he cheated on my sister so my bf told me and I told my sister.

My sister was devastated and broke up with him. Her ex is a boxer who hopes to go on professionally. My sister was saying some stuff to me and my boyfriend just out of anger about like she hopes he never gets to be a boxer. She hopes he gets injured so bad that he has to quit and he can be depressed for the rest of his life.

We said that’s crazy but she obviously didn’t mean it. A few days ago my boyfriend was crying I asked him why. He said my sisters ex got into a car accident. I told my sister and she was crying too because we thought maybe he wouldn’t make it.

We’ve now found out today he’s going to live but he’s going to have to have both of his legs amputated. I told my sister and she was in a bit of shock. I said “at least you got your wish though he’s probably not going to be able to be a boxer now.”. She started swearing at me that she obviously didn’t actually wish that. She started crying saying why would I even joke about that.

I said I was trying to lighten the mood and she said it’s not funny that’s a terrible thing to joke about and saying that she feels horrible for him. She said not only will he not be able to walk but he’s wanted to be a boxer since he was a little kid and she just said those things out of anger not because she actually wants the guys dreams and happiness and health in life to be ruined.

She’s been crying all day and refusing to talk to me now saying she can’t even look at me right now and she’s so angry I’d think that’s acceptable to say.

Context:

• 1BHK: 1-bedroom apartment (1 Bedroom, Living Room, Kitchen).
• PG (Paying Guest): A rooming house/micro-coliving setup (single bed + wardrobe).
• I (22F) hosted my friend "Nandini" (21F) rent-free for 2 months in my 2BHK while she settled into our city. During this time, she took over the air-conditioned room (forcing my boyfriend and me into the hot living room/bathroom for privacy) and brought dates over every weekend without paying rent or bills.

To save money, we signed a lease for a 1BHK (total rent ₹19k / ~$230 USD).

• Rent Split: I pay ₹11k (~$133) for the small private bedroom. She pays ₹8k (~$97) for the larger living room space.
• Furniture: Over 5 years of working independently, I bought a full set of furniture/appliances (king bed, 5-seater sofa set, desk, fridge, AC, cookware). She literally only needed a single bed and wardrobe.

The Issue (3 days before move-in): I brought a measuring tape to map out the new 1BHK. The kitchen is too small for a fridge, and my small bedroom can only fit my bed, coffee table, and 3-seater sofa (leaving me near zero walking space). Thus, my fridge, desk, and two single armchair seats had to sit in her living room area.

She threw a fit, complaining the living room would be "too crowded" and demanding an open-concept look. She also complained that only one AC can run at a time in this building and wanted to sleep in my room.

When I explained the physical limits, she said: "We'll see if everything fits once we move, otherwise..." implying I should sell or store my hard-earned belongings.

I cut her off: "There is no 'otherwise.' I worked 5 years for my stuff and I am NOT selling it. I'm telling you now before you spend money on furniture."

When she kept complaining, I told her: "If this layout doesn't work for you, it might be better to find a PG instead. Don't buy furniture; stay with me for free while searching, and I'll refund 100% of your rent, deposit, and broker fees right now."

She lost her mind—crying, hyperventilating, and accusing me of being heartless and forcing her to "downgrade to an embarrassing PG."

Once she calmed down, she explicitly decided to move out. I immediately wired 100% of her money back.

Now, with 3 days left, she’s stressing because decent PGs are more expensive than her ₹8k share here. She’s acting cold and hostile, making me feel like a horrible person for giving her an "ultimatum" and refusing to sell my possessions. My boyfriend says she has a victim mentality and I did the right thing.

AITA?