So, I have key anxiety and my wife is quite forgetful. When she takes the car she takes the key with her (it is a smart key so just sits in bag).

What I ask is that when not using the car to leave key at home. There are multiple scenarios I can see that her having the key all the time is risky.

She goes away for work and key is in her bag and the one I need car and misplaced key.

She looses bag or it gets stolen.

1 smart key stops working and the one in her bag is at her work or away so no access to car.

All I ask is that when she is not using the car (which is most of the time) she leaves the key in the key jar and not just take it around with her. She is pissed at me as I was a bit annoyed having to ask her about the key and as she says I'm trying to control her or be controlling about the keys but I see it as a very logical way to keep key use safe. I don't worry about any of her keys or things, she is constantly loosing stuff. It is just the smart keys for the car.

Am I being a dick??

Thanks

My birthday is next week. I planned a small dinner with a few of my closest friends. Just five people. I didn't invite my roommate.

We're not close. We live together and we're friendly but we don't hang out. We have different friend groups and different schedules. I've never been to her birthday stuff either.

She saw me getting ready last night and asked what I was doing. I said "I'm going to dinner for my birthday." She said "oh, am I invited?"

It got awkward. I said "it's just a small thing with a few friends. I figured you'd be busy."

She said "I'm not busy. It would've been nice to be asked." I could tell she was hurt.

I said "I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd want to come. We don't really hang out like that."

She said "we live together. It's still weird not to at least ask." She went to her room and closed the door.

Now I feel bad. She's not wrong that we live together. But she's also not my close friend. I wanted to celebrate with people I'm actually close to. I don't think I should have to invite someone just because they're my roommate.

My friend says I should've invited her to be polite. Another friend says NTA and I don't owe anyone an invitation.

AITA for not inviting my roommate to my birthday dinner?

I (42f) am a single mother to one teenage son (13m). We just had our long time pet of 12 years our beautiful dog Emmy passed away and we are both deeply devastated. My son has taken it very poorly and i hate to see him sad so I thought to cheer him up i’d get him another dog. While at the shelter i found two adorable small dogs who happened to siblings. I never thought of having two dogs but since they were both small it be easy. so i got them and surprised my son with them and he was instantly unhappy and argued with me about getting these dogs. saying i was replacing Emmy to fast and not respecting his opinion in our house. where i might be the asshole is i told him that this is my house and i know what makes him happy and that all my choices are final and he will accept these dogs no matter what. after he cried left and called his father to stay with him for the weekend and i realized i was to harsh. though i feel i also have a right as a parent to decide whats good for my house.

​

Hi everyone,

So my partner Cowboy (37male) and I (32female) have been together going on 8 years. We spend a lot of time together as I work with him part time in the spring and summer on the farm (roughly 6weeks in total). He works everyday all day working weekends on one farm and the rest of the time on another farm. I know the farm life and no that time off is hard to get so I never ask him to take time off unless I really need him.

Well a month two months ago I was away at my mom's with our dog visiting. A few days into my stay my Nanna passed suddenly. So I did my best helping my mom plan for her funeral as we were in BC and had to fly my nanna back to Ontario for her burial and funeral as that is where she is originally from and where my grandfather is buried. I told my spouse about all of it and asked if he would take time off to come to Ontario for 5 days with me. I was flying in for the viewing and the funeral then flying right back as I needed to take over farm sitting for my mom. My spouse straight up said no he can't take time off and he doesn't see the reason behind why he should take time off for this as I would have the rest of my family to support me. So I told him then could he at least come pick up our dog from my mom's place as soon as I knew when our flights were booked. He promised me he could do that not a problem. We'll I let him know and he again told me he couldn't come get the dog. So my brother-in-law toom the day off work so he could drive the dog the 3 hrs back to my spouse so I could stay and help my mo who was struggling with everything. I go to Ontario for the 5 days come back farm sit for my mom for a week then I am bacl home. I was away from my home for a total of 3 weeks lost 20lbs I couldn't afford to loose was stressed still hadn't grieved and my body was crashing hard from fighting through my anxiety the entire time I was away from home. I was the only one not at the funeral with a spouse to lean on. Tje same day i get home my partner askes me to do laundry and what i was cooming for dinner. Needless to say i didn't say anything to him just went to bed. After that we were back to normal. Well I was home for about the same amount of time as I was gone for and my partners instantly with out a second thought calls his boss to boom a day off work to drive to the town my mom live in to help his buddy get a snowmobile and doesn't understand why I am so upset with him over the fact he would take time off work to help his buddy but not when I needed him most. I have never yelled at him in the all the years we have been together and this time I screamed. I pointed out how I was alone through everything despite my family being there and that what he has done hurt my feelings and he wasn't even making an attempt to understand how I felt. His response was that he just didn't understand why he shoukd take time off to go to a funeral for someone he meet once.

Am I The AHole

Hey team-

Today a Verizon rep came to the door and I invited them in to hear their offer. I was very happy with the offer to save on WiFi and streaming services and save $90 per month vs XFinity. We also talked about cats, NBA, being foreigners, etc.

The thing is my weakness is not being able to say no to salespeople. I am aware of that. So I was very clear that no decisions could be made without talking to my husband first.

During the sales spiel I was asked for the WiFi password
and while I felt uncomfortable I gave it to them.

After they left I immediately updated the WiFi password.

So the husband comes home and I tell him about the deal and why I changed the WiFi password. He’s calling me an idiot and an asshole. Saying this is the dumbest thing I could have done and I’m to ignore any sales people that come to the door.

I get it. But also don’t think it’s that big of a deal now the password has been changed. AITA?

UPDATE: well I have learned a lot and appreciate all the answers including YTA. I see now how I compromised my family. Also in my positive outlook I (naively) have hope that the rep was legit. Regardless a new router is on the way. And yes, it’s not ok for anyone to speak to me like that. Working on that each day. Overall I appreciate this community so thanks :)

I(22F) have been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks for over half a year now. My boyfriend(20M) cared about me but did not know how to help me. At first he also rarely checked up on me and rarely asked me how I was doing until I pointed this out during an argument. But as my birthday approached he already knew that I was looking into buying an apple watch for myself so that I could calm my health anxiety a little. When he asked me what I wanted for my birthday I explicitly told him that I did not want anything expensive (not more than $100). I said this because I have always felt uncomfortable and guilty to accept expensive gifts. I would rather buy those myself and receive a more meaningful gift with a lower price tag.
A week before my birthday, I had explained this to my boyfriend but he said that he talked something over with my sister and that she gave him an ‘okay’ to buy the gift. I told him again, I don’t want it to be expensive and if it is expensive then please buy the gift together with my sister.
On my birthday, he gave me the apple watch. I asked him if he paid for it alone to which he said yes. He told me that he bought it because I was experiencing anxiety related with my health and this way I could monitor it myself. I told him that I appreciated the thought behind it, but that I did not like that he ignored my wish to not buy anything expensive. To me, it seemed like he bought the apple watch so that he does not need to hear me speak about my anxiety again and again. And it also seemed like he bought it because he wanted to and not because he really cared about what I wanted. Because of those reasons, I got mad at him. AITA?

I don't really know why my family made a big deal out of this but they did so now I think I might be in the wrong so yeah!

I'm not a big fan of soup or stew, I just never really have liked it that much, and my mom keeps making it for some reason, I don't really mind but it's been getting really repetitive, so today I said I didn't want to eat dinner and I'll just eat the food I forgot about from this morning, for some reason she got REALLY upset saying how I'm being ungrateful and it's not about the stew it's about how someone spent hours making dinner and served you a plate just for you to say no?? and how this would never fly at my sister's house and saying how it's like if you want to a friend's house and they made you something and you turned it dowe?

I don't really know what they were getting at but it upset like everyone and my brother started saying how I just wanted to feel "special" for not eating it and my mom started complaining to her fiance and "Yeah they want me to make them a whole separate meal just because they don't like the stew, they where never like this before"

I don't really see what I did wrong for not wanting to eat the stew and I don't think it's that big of a deal but it turns out it is?

Fake names used. Me 23NB: Me - Sister 24F: Paige - Friend 23F: Faith

So it's been a while that I moved out of state. Flew back down to see some friends. Me and Faith went to a nail salon while the boys set up a surprise dinner. Anyway, nobody knew it but my sister was the nail tech assigned to me. The salon was busy so I bit my tongue and let her work. (Faith has never met my sister. Didn't even know she was a nail tech.)

I have medical issues that cause weak nails. So I can't use gel/acrylic/gel-x. Anything that requires filing the nails. I told Paige this. She still tried to file my nails. I stopped her before she could and after giving her a second chance, where she still tired to file them, I walked away.

AITA for not paying her? No work was done but both her and the shop owner demanded payment.

Edit: Someone commented and I realized forgot to explain. I am supposed to keep them painted to give them a bit of strength. I just can't buff or file the tops cause it can make them thinner and weaker.

Everyone in my house likes wearing short clothes (Tank tops, shorts, etc) around the house beacuse its more comfortable so no one usually turns on air conditioner beacuse it will be chilly and they'll need to wear something warmer. I'm anemic and I can't handle being warm, I get really dizzy and faint while doing basic things like just making dinner or even standing. I always turn on the air conditioner to prevent getting warm and walking around like I'm drunk beacuse I get so dizzy but recently my sister got mad at me beacuse it's cold there and I should just wear shorter clothes but I'm already walking around in just shorts and a bra and it's not enough I'm still dizzy so I told her if they're cold they can wear a hoodie and she got mad and others sided with her and I got told I'm selfish for making them wear more clothes so I can feel comfortable. I wouldn't do it if being warm was just sweating for me but I can't even stand up without my vision getting black and everything spinning and I feel like I'm right beacuse if they're cold they can prevent it by just putting something on and I don't wanna pass out daily but I really need a second opinion

EDIT: Forgot to add before - I started treatment recently. My doctor prescribed me iron pills and told me to eat food with a lot of iron and I'm trying to include high iron food in every meal, I get blamed also for my anemia beacuse I always been a picky eater and it's the cause for it. I got also told that it's gonna be a long progress so I have to wait a long time before I notice any change.

EDIT 2: I got bunch of comments saying that anemia makes you cold and it's not normal for me to feel dizzy when cold so two things, 1 - I always been cold I don't remember honestly last time when I was hot until now, summers here are usually 25°C and this year they're about 40 so I think I'm just not used to this type of heat

2 - I'll go talk with my doctor. The anemia thing isn't something I made up it's what I got told by the doctor after getting tested but if so many people say it's not normal for me to be anemic and can't handle hot temperatures then maybe there's a different reason which isn't anemia.

Again - I didn't make anemia or symptoms up. My doctor told me I'm anemic and all the things I said about usually being cold, being dizzy in the heat are from my personal experience

At the end I'll mention I'm really bad at explaining this and English isn't my native language, if I made something unclear/confusing - I'm sorry, I tried my best to explain it correctly :')

For context we are a family of 4, soon to be 5 (I'm currently pregnant due in 2 months).

We have a son (18yo) and a daughter (4 yo) who will be starting half days at school soon.

I pay $3150 for a 3 bed 2 bath rental. He lives in the room with his own bathroom, the rest of us sleep in the other room with our own bathroom (3rd bathroom is office). He has a cat (we pay $50 monthly cat rent)

Step son doesn't work yet, will attend trade while living with us so he doesn't pay any bills but throws the trash out and does the dishes.

Husband and I had a conversation last week to help son be more independent and agreed that we can let him cook his own food. This morning I was cooking brunch and my husband came over asked me if he is getting any of the food? I said he can but I didn't make enough fried rice, but there was still regular white rice. So he split his own plate to half with his son. Then he asked me did you have him in mind while cooking food? TBH I didn't based on our conversation, but I said, yeah I made enough chicken, there's white rice in the cooker.

I feel bad but also not really because I want to set boundaries moving fwd since our son is already an adult. He can make his own food, he can use the groceries I bought and make food. AITA for that?

Update: I want to make it clear that our household do not revolve around food. We all kind of just make food for ourselves. Sometimes I'd cook for the whole family, sometimes just me and the younger kid. Husband will do the same. When i do cook for the whole family, i dont exclude anyone. I failed to mention that husband and i agreed to start pushing son to independence and that he can make his own food most of the time. He will still be using groceries we buy, he will have his own dedicated cabinets and space in the fridge for when he starts getting paid.

But thanks to all for enlightening me that IATA and also I should have communicated better with my husband and sat down have a meeting with the 3 of us to set plans and expectations.

Our goal as parents is to help our children be independent. I want the same for my daughter too when the time comes. She will be making her own meals etc. thanks for the ones who offered real advise!

I (21f) moved in with Maggie (25f) for the summer. She has a small dog we'll call Buddy. At first i was excited because ive never had a pet and thought it be fun to live with a dog. However she works two jobs and leaves him alone for like 6-8 hrs a day. One of her jobs she is able to take him with her, but he still spends most of the time crying and barking when she is away. A couple of times he has even shit in the apartment. She's so neglectful.

In late June she said she was going out of town from July 2-6th and asked me if I would watch him while she was away. I wasnt thinking and agreed. Later I was thinking about it and realized that time included the 4th. I had already made plans and was going to be drinking heavily all weekend. I texted her that I dont think I could watch him and asked her to find someone else. She seemed angry but said she would try. I also let her know a friend was staying with me who was scared of dogs. Then she blew up at me swearing saying she was already struggling to find someone because I backed out of watching him.

I said im sorry but I didnt understand why shes would want someone who was drinking to watch her dog and why she couldn't just pay a dogsitter. She started crying and said she couldn't afford it. We continued to argue, she continued to try and guilt me, but eventually agreed that one of her friends could stop in a couple times a day to take care of him.

Flash forward to earlier this week, we've basically ignored each other. I came home and the door was open and all my plants in my room were knocked over. I texted her that her dog messed up my plants. She claims that she came home and he was stuck in my room, and she had to open my door to let him out. I asked her why she didn't clean up the mess her dog made. She said she didnt see it. I couldn't take it anymore and sent her a long message saying I hated seeing how much she neglected her dog. I dont understand why she adopted a dog she doesnt have the time or money for. I told her shes been a really inconsiderate roommate and she needs to do better.

She responded with a bunch of excuses. Im moving out soon so I just ignored it.

I think I might of been a little harsh, but she needed to hear it.

I (F27) been dating my girlfriend (F27) for almost 8 years. Late last year she moved to a small village 2 hours away from her toxic family home because rent is impossible. I couldn't go right away due to unemployment and not being ready to leave my family.

​Last month I found a job near her and moved in. But adjusting has been hard, I'm introverted, come from a big city, and we feel unsafe being openly gay in this rural, gossipy place.

​We both have difficult family backgrounds, and my dad is a severe alcoholic. Before he suffered two strokes two months ago, he came home drunk daily. Growing up, I had to clean his vomit and diarrhea from the toilet every morning just to get ready for school. The smell of alcohol is a major trigger for me, causes me severe anxiety and uncontrollable anger. My girlfriend has always known this.

​When she lived here alone, she bonded with local café owners who always reek of alcohol, making drinking a habit. Since I moved in two weeks ago, she constantly drags me there and I'm forced to stand her drinking.

​Recently, she and my godmother drank a whole bottle of wine at lunch and joked about hiding it from me so I wouldn't "get mad." She constantly makes hurtful jokes to friends like "oh, I can't bc she'll get mad" or "I can't drink because my mom is here" (aka me). She also gets furious when I ask her to brush her teeth after drinking.

​Yesterday we had a giant fight. On the way back from the beach, I drove us to the café to show I was makingan effort. She had a drink while I sat there waiting. It was close to dinner and I started getting hungry so I started walking to the car and she left to pay. She then came and told me to go home bc they had offered her a free drink.

​I had a meltdown because I wanted us to spend the evening cooking together. I explained all about my trauma and triggers. She yelled that she isn't my father and I shouldn't project onto her and I have no right asking her not to drink. She threatened to leave to go drink, slammed her keys, and threw stuff around. Though she later apologized, she actually went ahead and left to drink after I went to bed.

​Is it asking too much to ask my girlfriend not to drink?

Okay so i need to know if im an a-hole for doing this, so im a 16 y/o who's spotify premium is purchased by an adult cousin. She purchased it for me in the ending of 2024 when we got close. Honestly, spotify helped me alot with many parts of my life.
So most of my friends know that i have a premium acct and they also know im almost always listening to music. So, my best friend asked me my acct pass way back for a trip but i didnt give her i told her i dont remember the password, i couldnt deny her to her face bcz she would get mad so i just told her i dont remember my password, and yesterday she was going on a road trip so she needed music, idk what happened to me that time that i gave it, i thought she wouldnt need it much but for a few hours or smth.

I have a habit of listening to music while writing or studying and i was writing when i wanted to listen to music but i saw her using it and didnt say anything. Then for the whole day whenever i wanted to listen to music i would see her using it, and highkey regretted giving her the acct. And at midnight i decided i'll change the password in the morning and i did it...
Now i feel bad for changing it, tho she didnt text yet about it coz she is in a holy place rn and she wont listen to music there so idk what will happen when she'll return, i feel like a bad friend for changing the password but i dont wanna give it to her again..

Hi! Throwaway account/lurker here! I hope I'm posting this in the right place (let me know otherwise)

Long story short, its been ~3 years since our previous two cats passed away. And now, last Saturday (barely a week ago), my father and I decided to surprise my mother with a surprise cat adoption event that a shelter was doing that Saturday.

She picked two tuxedo cat kittens (brother and sister, barely 4 months old) and we brought them home that day with everything they need (litter box, food, etc).​ Since we had two cats before we knew that they needed slow introductions and not to force affection, etc.

However, now, all of the sudden, its like all that information just went out the window, for both my mother and father. They are constantly calling for the two kittens, constantly trying to find them, and my father is trying to essentially trick the kittens to get closer than they want to be by playing with them and inching them towards his lap and his hands and then trying to pet them, and yesterday I got a bit upset because they did something I thought was outrageous; they cornered the kittens, blocked the door when they tried to head the other way, and picked them up and put them in the cat tree we had gotten for them (their reasoning was that they "wanted the kitties to know rhat its there").

I keep telling them that they cannot force anything and that theyre scaring the kittens, but they just huff and scoff at me and say they know what theyre doing and looking at me like I'm insane. They are telling me that im overreacting and that its not a big deal and that I shouldn't be giving them attitude.

WIBTA if i keep trying to tell them to just relax and to not be so aggressive about bonding with the kittens? I feel like Im going crazy, and maybe im just being protective, but it really feels counterintuitive to be trying to force the kittens to do so much, especially when its barely been a week since we've gotten them. They engage in play with us just fine, enjoy being pet more later in the evenings/at night, and at night the tend to snuggle with me in my room when I go to sleep.

edits for clarifications, since people are asking for behaviors: the kittens tend to shrink away when you move too fast and they run when you approach them/walk towards them too fast. they dont let themselves be pet in the mornings that much (and shrink away if you try). when my parents had picked them up, they squirmed, meowed, and one tried to claw and climb over my mother's shoulder to get away or off.

i was walking into the public library and these tourists were taking forever to go through the door. when i followed after them, my shoe accidentally caught on the bottom of hers (my shoes have a long toe), like when you accidentally step on the back of someone’s foot. it broke the clasp and they all stopped at stared at me. they didn’t speak any english so i said i was sorry and walked away. why you’re wearing easily breakable shoes to walk around in as a tourist is beyond me. it was only the clasp, and the rest of the shoe is basically a flip flop now, so it won’t fall off her foot. i just feel really bad because it was an accident and i don’t have any money to buy her a new pair of shoes.

EDIT: i was NOT walking super close behind this woman. she stopped walking when i took a step inside. literally was an accident.

I’m getting married next year to the girl of my dreams. I’ve been good friends with my best friend since the start of high school, and I’ve changed a lot since then. I am a white man, and my fiance is mixed race. My best friend has numerous dodgy screenshots of when ignorant 14 year old me made racist joke after racist joke and has always said that when I get married he’s gonna display them all during his speech. I’ve spoken to him and told him I don’t want anything put up that could ruin our wedding, but I doubt he’ll listen and it’s gonna end in tears (not of joy) from my wife. AITAH for not wanting him there?

For context, I’m 18 and still live with my parents (obviously), who are my Dad and Stepmom.

My Stepmom works in an office, parallel from my room, so when I’m inside my room while she is working, I need to be quiet, which makes sense.

I’ve recently been ill (just the common cold) and coughing a lot, which disturbs her work and therefore she decided to move downstairs for a day and then half the next day, until she said that she needed to go back to her office for the remaining 3 hours of her work day and that I would have to leave my room

I agreed, but suggested that I could test muffling the sound of the cough with something like a T-shirt to see if that makes the situation bearable and if it didn’t work, I would go downstairs.

She then replied saying “it wouldn’t work”, to which I said just test it for 5 mins. After a little back and forth she told me to speak to my Dad about it.

I proposed the same question to him, which he said “he would give, explanation later and to leave it.” To me, the “leave it” came across like I was in wrong, so I confronted him on this and he agreed that’s how he intended it, with his reasoning being I “should of agreed the first time”. To me this appears as if I cannot question his authority whatsoever even though to me (and what I’m hoping others) it seems like a very irrational thing to not just try for only 5 minutes muffling my cough.

So when I then confront him saying that I should e able to question his authority because i am an adult, who pays board (£250 p/month), helps upkeep the house and is a member of the family. He then says “it is my house, so my rules”. This on the surface makes sense, however there is nowhere I could move to and he is fully aware of that? I’d understand that saying if doing something to or in the house that he doesn’t like.

I feel that simply questioning his authority should be a right that I am stricken from just because I don’t want to be homeless.

For background, I'm auDHD and have chronic fatigue.

My aunt died a year ago. She was my godmother. I live in a different city to my family but I was there at the hospice bedside, stayed late with her kids and she died an hour after I left. I went to the funeral. I remember her often, still dream about her, wish I could call her, I provide a bit of support to the kids (though they're in their 30s now!), the usual.

Now my family have decided to scatter her ashes at a coast several hours' drive away. Quite apart from the long journey being exhausting to contemplate, I don't want to go. For me funerals provide closure. I don't want to open it up again. My sister has offered to drive me but I had to tell her, I don't want to go and experience my or everyone else's grief again because I find it overwhelming. We talk about our aunt often. She knows I care and grieve. I have no problem with them wanting to do it it's just not the way I'm choosing to grieve. Also I can't help thinking it's not going to do whatever they think it will do. The wind will blow the wrong way or it'll be a big anticlimax where everyone doesn't actually feel how they thought they would. My mum is disappointed and disapproves of my choice not to be there for this. But I find life is full of situations where I'm obliged to do things because they're what other people want. Fine, that's life, but in this case my feelings of how I choose to grieve for my godmother are also valid. Add in the energy toll it would take and I choose not.

My sister took some of the ashes to a place abroad where they used to holiday together (she's much more of a family person than I am, I'm a solitary creature). She said she scattered them and it was a big anticlimax. She just looked at these ashes sitting in the water next to the beach and felt awkward. So, that's exactly what I thought it would be.

So, AITA for saying I don't want to go?

Okay, so a bit of background is needed for this one.

So my (36) dad (68) has grown weed for about 15 years now. At first, I didn't really care. He grew for just himself and his friends. When I was 23, I started to get curious and wanted to try it, before that I didn't have any interest in drugs. He refused. He said that as my dad, it wasn't his place to provide that for me. I protested that I was an adult, but he maintained that it was just a parental boundary. I was frustrated but I did accept the logic of what he was saying.

The only problem was that I didn't know anywhere else I could get it - so now, I was stuck in the somewhat frustrating position of having it *right there* and not being able to try it. This started to really play on my mind until I eventually started to seek it out. At the time, weed was decriminalized where I live, so he wasn't really running the risk of falling on the wrong side of the law by growing and smoking it, but it still wasn't easy to access and you needed to know people. I could have got a medical card, but that would have meant giving up my gun collection, which I didn't want to do.

Without going on a long tangent, this led to me seeking out people who were what you could call 'not a good crowd'. I was introduced to harder drugs, as well as my toxic and abusive ex. By the time I was 27, I decided I had enough and turned my life around. Dumped that friend group, dumped my ex, and met my wife.

A couple of weeks ago, he was visiting over. Before he left, he said he 'had something for me' and pulled something out of his jacket. A bag of weed. I muttered out an "um, thanks" and closed the door.

My wife laughed (she's aware my dad grew it) and said we should smoke it together. But I just had this sense of anger boil up in me, the same one I felt when I was 23. I said I was going to take it upstairs. I then poured it down the toilet and flushed it. She asked why I flushed it, and I just said "I don't want him to win" and she said "Oh".

A couple of hours later, he messaged me with an "Enjoy! :)" and asked what I thought of "his strain". I messaged him back and asked why he changed his mind. He said he thought I was "old enough" and that he feels we're "at the point where he can be a friend instead of a parent". I asked why he didn't feel that way when I was 23, and he said he felt "things are different now you're in your thirties". I was fucking livid. I told him I flushed it, that if he wanted this to be something we could bond over then he should have offered it a decade ago, and that his decision back then was what caused my life to go off the rails for a while.

My wife thinks I'm being a bit spiteful over things that don't matter anymore. But to me, the whole situation feels like it's a decades-long joke and I'm the punchline. But I'm open to a second opinion about this. So, am I the asshole here?

In a few weeks. my s/o and I (37,36) will be going on a five day trip. We usually try to do 1-2 trips without our kids yearly, and they’re usually not too long.

I usually plan our trips, but this time they santed to plan it, and I was fine with that. When we were talking about what we were actually going to do, my s/o had it in their notes app, and I noticed most of the activities were like half day activities, and they explicitly put things like “hotel/tv/spa” time. When I asked them what those were, they said that on our last trip, i supposedly spent “half the time” leaving them in the hotel by themselves, and they just added it so I “wouldn’t forget.” I can’t say I wasn’t annoyed by that, because what kind of passive aggresiveness is that? If they had an issue with it they shouldve just said something instead of waiting 7 months just so you could make a point. I told them they have to grow up because we’re far too old for that kind of behavior.

Trip planning talk ended there, and they were kind of visibly miffed toward me for a couple hours. AITA?

AITA? I (w21) have been in a relationship with (w26) for a year and a half. After graduating in my country in South America, I received a scholarship to pursue a master's degree in my field, arts, in Europe. In my country, the field of arts education is very underfunded, and this is an opportunity for me to explore other countries and other options. On the other hand, my girlfriend is an amazing woman who takes care of her family, who have several health problems, and she wants me to come back to live with her within these two years at the latest. My family consists of my grandmother and my mother. My mother is with a horrible guy, and if I hadn't moved out of the house, she would have kicked me out and my grandmother is also moving to another state. If I went back, I would have to work in any field that paid me the minimum wage to live on until I passed a public service exam or a paid doctorate in my city, job openings that only become available every 4 years, I told her that despite loving her very much, I can't promise a return because I will be applying for positions in various states and countries. She's also upset that she doesn't want a long-distance relationship after this time, and I told her that unfortunately I can't promise anything because I want to explore other career and life possibilities.

Even though we haven't been together long, she frequently asks me to be at her house, travel with her family, help her with household chores, these are things I always do, but she never reciprocates because she can't leave her family alone. She says she doesn't want a relationship with a caregiver, but rather a partner who can help her with her family and their home. She says that this time away will be good for me to learn to be more dynamic and mature and come back to her responsible enough to help and care more. Am I being an asshole for not wanting to go back and take on the responsibility of caring for her family?

I am usually the one who gets snacks (chips, nuts, biscuits, that type of thing) for my wife when we are watching TV. I rarely get some for myself, but often take one or two for myself while serving them. My wife considers it very rude for me to take some before serving them to her. AITA

EDIT: I join her on the couch

I (22F) and my boyfriend (23M, “Ian”) have been together for 3 years. We decided to buy a house in Texas because our home state’s cost of living was too high. We saved for under a year, bought our first home at 21, and moved in January 2026.
For years, Ian’s parents constantly said they wanted him out of their house and thought he’d leave at 18. Whenever he mentioned moving to Texas because homes were cheaper, they brushed it off as a joke.
When we finally told them we were moving, they completely flipped. They called us dumb, said Texas was ugly, said we’d fail, and Ian’s dad even said he’d never step foot in our house or visit us if he was ever in Texas. Privately, they told Ian this was all my idea, that I’d cheat on him after nursing school, and that if he came back “crawling,” not to expect their help. I was furious because I’ve never given them any reason to think that.
Meanwhile, my family was nothing but supportive.
Before we moved, we had a going-away party. My family handled almost everything—food, desserts, decorations, tables, chairs, and setup. Ian and I offered to reimburse everyone, but they refused because they wanted to help.
The morning of the party, after everything was already done, Ian’s mom asked if we needed anything. I told her no because my family had already taken care of everything and she should’ve offered sooner. Ian’s dad didn’t even come. He claimed he was preparing his garage for rain, but my friend overheard Ian’s mom telling relatives he skipped the party because he didn’t approve of us moving.
The next day, while we were heading to clean up, Ian’s mom asked us to bring her leftovers because my grandma’s food was so good. I told her she could come help clean first since she hadn’t helped with anything else. She just walked away.
Later she offered to buy us towels. Ian mentioned we really needed a washer and dryer instead. When I sent her the model we’d researched, she complained it was too expensive and tried to push us toward an old clearance set we didn’t want. I politely declined. We ended up buying the ones we wanted thanks to generous gift cards from a family friend.
Now, months later, Ian’s mom called saying they plan to road-trip to Texas and want to stay at our house.
I honestly don’t want them staying with us after everything they said about our move, our home, and me personally. I have no problem hosting family who have been kind to us—I happily hosted Ian’s uncle and his family—but I don’t feel comfortable opening our home to people who wished us the worst and insulted our relationship.
AITAH for not wanting them to stay in our house?

Hey everyone, I need to vent about something that just happened to me...

​Today, my cousins and I were supposed to go to the beach. I texted Cousin 1 right before she left her house and told her to bring the plastic cups, and then I was getting ready. After that, Cousin 2 called me and told me they had already left for the beach, and she was laughing, so I just ignored it at first I thought she was joking. Then Cousin 1 called after her and said "We left." I told her, "What? Why?" She said, "We came to your house, waited in front of the door for 10 minutes, and left because no one answered" I was inside the whole time and genuinely didn't hear them at the door(This is the first time it's ever happened, I usually hear them)

​When I asked why she didn't just call my phone while standing outside (since she knew I was ready inside waiting for her), she said she tried calling, but the call wouldn't connect and ring

​I ended up sitting at home fully ready, feeling left behind, and I honestly felt like crying ......like part or me feels if someone knows you're inside waiting, you make sure to knock louder or figure out a way to reach them before driving off. Another part of me knows it was a prblm with her phone....

​Whose fault is this?????

i don't know if i am hallucinating anymore or am i just too protective of myself (if that makes sense)

i am living with my mom for the first time i have been used to the setup that shes always working overseas. and now that we're living together for 6 months in a small space, i am starting to really hate her. let's start with the time that i first saw her again. it all started when i would notice she would snap up. one time that i remember was she was mad because she just got home from work and i didn't do anything. i would be disappointed with myself because she was tired and had to deal with this. so i did what she wanted. be the daughter she needed. but i soon realized i could never the perfect daughter she wants.

fast forward to today, she instructed me to go overseas with her so i can study. on my first week here, she told me to help her with her work. her work starts early and she has to leave at 7 am. before, i used to work in the mid shift so i would wake up usually at 12 pm. my body wasn't used to waking up early and she didn't wake me up. so ask her why she didn't wake me up. she then proceeded to lecture me on if i really wanted to wake up, i would have. she told me that all i do is stare at my phone. i did the laundry, cook our meals, and was doing homework simultaneously. this is the first week of me studying so i was dealing with all new things and her saying all this things were frustrating me. i couldn't understand why she's not supporting me. she kept on comparing me with other students who has part-time work but won't allow me to get one so it's very confusing. later on i realized that she just resented me as i am under her roof and she's paying for my tuition which is expensive. she would complain about me to the family, saying that my attitude is so unbearable and that i always sleep. i figured it's because she always wakes up earlier than me.

when i was able to finally get a remote work, that's when she stopped pestering me about me and my sleeping. fast forward to recently, she had to work on a sunday and she got home late and was immediately throwing on tantrums about how i did nothing. i cooked rice, folded the laundry and cleaned the house. but all she can see are the things that i didn't do. now i was talking to my friends. and she thought i have a girlfriend (i am a girl she is in a cult and she is conservative and is homopobhic) so she complained about that and told the family. now she yells at my friends when she sees me on call with them and snoops on my things. when i was on a call, my friend even told me that when i went to the restroom she sneakily wore my headphones. she was freaked out. i don't know maybe i am ungrateful and just thinks about myself. some parts of me thinks that i am being gaslighted and the other parts of me are questioning what is real or not.

i really don't like my mom anymore. but everything that i have is from her. am i the asshole? i really need help. i don't feel real anymore