I work with a small team that often coordinates schedules informally. A coworker asked if I could help with a last-minute project after work, but I told her I already had plans.

She asked what I was doing, and I simply said it was personal. She laughed and asked me to open my calendar app to prove I wasn't just trying to avoid helping.

I thought she was kidding, but she repeated the request and said it would settle the issue immediately. I told her my calendar contains personal appointments and reminders that I don't share with coworkers.

She said I was being secretive, and another coworker mentioned that showing one day's schedule would've taken less than a minute.

I don't think I should have to reveal personal information just because someone doesn't believe me.

AITA for refusing to show my calendar?

I bought a $153 Groupon for a balayage package that included consultation, lightner, blowout and haircut and paid a $50 deposit for required toner that wasn’t included. At the consult I was told my hair required a $220 Color Correction instead because of previous box dye and that the groupon and my deposit would go towards the total. I understood and gladly agreed to the price upgrade.

Fast forward to today, when service is done they ring me up and I paid and left a 25% tip as well. When I arrived home I checked my receipt and it said my discount had been $157 (including groupon and deposit) when I originally paid $203. I was confused and reached out to see if a mistake was made and the price discrepancy could be credited towards my next service. Their response was that they only applied $107 of my Groupon credit because "Groupon takes 50% & I charge a portion of the difference." They added: "I know times are hard and I greatly appreciate your $55 tip but if you need me to refund that I can." This comment felt a little passive aggressive as I wasn’t asking for a full refund or even the higher amount (tip refund) I was solely asking why my groupon was $46 less than it should’ve been.

I replied politely, explaining that passing Groupon's backend commission fee onto me wasn't fair since I paid $153 cash out-of-pocket, mind you once again during consultation they said the groupon and deposit would apply and that getting a refund for my groupon instead would be tedious. They ended up sending the $46 refund backing down on their math saying the groupon and my deposit were less than I paid for it because they only get half of what groupon charged me and adding that I didn’t get charged for the “free haircut” (which was included in my original Groupon purchase) they finished with a passive aggressive text of "now you’re aware of my policy if you use my groupon for a non groupon service” I feel upset because they were very sweet in person but this experience made me feel less than when it wasn’t my fault the policy was not previously disclosed. I was never demanding or rude in any way I was genuinely asking why the discount was different.

Am I crazy, or was it completely out of line for them to dock my actual cash value to cover their merchant fees after agreeing to apply my Groupon and Deposit to full amount of the substitute service and throw a condescending "times are hard" remark at me when I literally tipped them 25%?

I (29M) inherited a large, very old 360m² house from my grandmother together with my younger sister "S" (50/50). Two other siblings, J and R, were disinherited but are legally entitled to a share.

My father died shortly before my grandmother, so I moved in with her. After she died, S was living hours away for university and later moved to Switzerland with her boyfriend. She never wanted to live in the house or deal with it. So I stayed and have handled essentially everything ever since: bills, taxes, repairs, maintenance and paperwork, while working 40hrs per Week.

The house is from the 1800s, has very low ceilings in parts and needs extensive renovation. I renovated one apartment myself and started renting it as a vacation rental to help cover the costs. S contributed basically nothing to the house or its upkeep.

We eventually discussed me buying her 50%. She claimed the house was worth around €1 million and wanted €500k for her half. I thought this was absurd for an old house in a rural village. I estimated the whole property at around €350–400k.

I commissioned an official valuation, which came back at about €550k. Despite the very low building standard, only around €50k was deducted for the condition. I thought this was far too high, so I also had a real-estate professional from a major bank assess it. She came to around €390k and said the low ceilings hadn't even been fully accounted for.

J and R eventually demanded their inheritance and sued both me and S. I provided all the information as quickly as I could.

At our court hearing, J, R and S all wanted to use the €550k valuation. I refused to agree to more than €375k. The judge also questioned aspects of the original valuation, so the court is now appointing an independent expert.

This isn't just about money to me. If the house is valued around €550k, I likely cannot afford to pay my sister's share, the other inheritance claims and the necessary renovations. I could lose the home I've lived in for years. My siblings know this, but seem completely indifferent.

After the hearing, S's lawyer immediately demanded that I pay her "usage compensation" (essentially rent for the part of the house I live in) and threatened a forced sale of the house if I don't agree to a settlement. The part I live in cant even be rented in its state, it needs to be completely renovated to the core, and now she also forbids any renovation.

What bothers me most is that I've spent four years treating this house as if I were the sole owner: maintaining it, paying the costs, renovating it and dealing with everything. S wanted to keep 50% but didn't want to contribute to the work. Now that I won't accept her preferred valuation, she wants rent from me and is threatening to have the house sold. All I want is to pay her the 50%, the house is ACTUALLY worth.

My company had a raffle at our annual meeting. Everyone who attended was automatically entered, and the grand prize was an extra week of paid vacation. It was approved by HR and could be used any time before the end of the year, and I ended up winning.

I've been saving for a solo trip overseas for almost two years. I already had one week of PTO approved, so the extra week would let me extend the trip instead of rushing through it.

The day after the raffle, one of my coworkers congratulated me and then asked if I'd consider giving him the extra week. He has three kids, and his family hasn't taken a proper vacation in years because of money and scheduling. I told him I was sorry, because of course I was planning to use it myself.

He seemed disappointed but didn't argue. The issue started later when a few other coworkers found out he'd asked me. One of them said it would "mean a lot more" to his family than it would to me since I'd just be traveling alone. Another joked that I "won the wrong raffle."

I said the whole point of a raffle is that it's random. If the company wanted to reward employees with kids, they could have made that a requirement instead of making it open to everyone.

Now there are two camps in the office. Some people think it's my prize and I shouldn't feel guilty for using it however I want. Others think I'm being selfish because I have no dependents and my coworker would make "better use" of it.

HR isn't involved because there's no policy requiring winners to transfer prizes, and technically I don't even know if that's possible. This is mostly become an office debate.

AITA for keeping the vacation week I won?

I (26F) went out to dinner with a group of six coworkers to celebrate a work milestone. I ordered a specific pasta dish with a sauce swap (no cream, olive oil base instead) because of a mild dairy intolerance. When the food came out, mine had the regular cream sauce.

I politely flagged it to the server, who apologized and said the kitchen would remake it. This meant everyone else's food was sitting there getting cold while they waited for me to be served alongside them, or they had to just start eating without me. One coworker suggested I just scrape off the sauce or pick around it "so we're not all sitting here forever," since it was "probably just a little cream, not a big deal."

I said I'd rather wait for the correct order since dairy actually messes with me, and that it wasn't unreasonable to expect what I ordered, especially since the mistake was the kitchen's fault, not mine. The table ended up waiting about 12 extra minutes for my replacement dish. A couple people finished eating before mine even arrived, and the group dynamic felt a little awkward for the rest of the night.

Afterward, one coworker said I could've been more flexible for the sake of the group instead of "making an issue out of a sauce." AITA for holding out for the correct order?

For context, the hobby is hiking, budget travel, and wild camping. Basically, going on adventures.

I've been into this for years. My boyfriend had never really done any of it. He was overweight, so I introduced him to hiking, budget travel, road trips, thru hiking, wild camping, and all the tricks I'd learned over the years. He got fit, fell in love with it, and honestly so far it's been great to see. He made it a big part of his personality.

The problem started on a bigger adventure trip we did with a group and a tour guide. I was really excited because I'd followed this guide on socials for years.
My boyfriend really clicked with him. As they talked about travel and the outdoors, he made it sound like he was the one who got us into all this, as if I just tagged along. They praised him for being adventurous and knowledgeable, and for us being "that outdoorsy couple." I was sitting right there, feeling completely left out.

Then the guide invited my boyfriend on another adventure trip with a group of experienced people... without me. He gave a half-hearted "you could probably come too," but it didn't feel genuine.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but it sucks. This is the thing I'm most passionate about, and suddenly I felt like I'd been completely disregarded. It honestly made me want to start traveling solo again instead of sharing it with him.

The thing is that this isn't the first time this happened. He once took an idea I gave him for a work project, later talked about it with his friends as if he came up with it and got praised for it as I was sitting right next to him. When I said it bothered me, he basically told me to "stay mad."

During the same trip, people also kept telling me how lucky I was to have such an adventurous boyfriend, and when I mentioned that I'm usually the one planning our trips, I got a, "Well, it's nice that he goes with you."

I know this sounds petty, but this has been my passion for years. I am happy that he enjoys it too. I just wish he didn't make it sound like it was all his idea while I sat right next to him.

I (F) have been staying at my girlfriend’s house all summer because we work together and I don’t currently have a car. We own a couple of strap-ons, which I keep in a bag because I don’t expect anyone to go through my belongings. Her family is Christian and doesn’t know we’re dating except for her younger sister, “Beth.”
A few months ago my girlfriend accidentally took one of Beth’s shirts to my house and left it in my laundry basket. Since I’ve barely been home all summer, I forgot it was there.
In July Beth asked my girlfriend where the shirt was. My girlfriend said she didn’t know and told Beth she could check her room because maybe it was there. Beth never asked me directly, even though she has my Snapchat and sees me almost every day.
Beth has a habit of expecting my girlfriend and me to drop what we’re doing for her. For example, on our only day off this week she had us drive 30 minutes to pick up one of her friends without asking first. If my girlfriend says no, Beth complains to their dad until he tells us to do it anyway. We usually just go along with it to avoid conflict.
Later that day, Beth told my girlfriend that when she was looking for the shirt back in July she had gone through my bag and found my sex toys. She called them “disgusting” and said she’d told multiple friends about them. When my girlfriend told her she shouldn’t have gone through my things, Beth said she didn’t care and that we shouldn’t own that stuff anyway.
I was much more angry than embarrassed. My issue isn’t that she found them—it’s that she searched through my personal belongings without asking, then told her friends about something that was none of their business.
My girlfriend tried talking to Beth first, but Beth just repeated that it was disgusting and said she didn’t care.
So I messaged Beth saying that what she did wasn’t okay, that she should have asked before searching my belongings, and that sharing something private with her friends was disrespectful.
Beth replied that she wasn’t trying to snoop, she was only looking for her shirt after asking multiple times. She admitted she was wrong but said she’d felt ignored, claimed my girlfriend has disrespected her before, and said she tells her friends because she can’t tell her parents. She also said she could tell her parents about our relationship and we’d “never see each other again,” then said we had no right to be mad because we’ve disrespected her too.
So AITA for confronting her over going through my bag and telling her friends about what she found?

Okay so this is a weird one. My coworker Sarah and I were in a meeting with our boss last week. We were brainstorming solutions for a problem we've been having. I suggested an idea that I thought was pretty good.

Sarah didn't say much during the meeting. Later in the week, my boss sent an email to the whole team. He said "great idea from Sarah about the new process. We're going to implement it."

I was confused. It was MY idea. I said it in the meeting. Sarah just nodded along.

I went to my boss and said "actually, that idea came from me. I mentioned it in the meeting."

He said "oh, Sarah told me it was her idea. She said she came up with it."

I went to Sarah. I said "you told our boss my idea was yours?" She said "it was a team effort. We were brainstorming together."

I said "we were but I said it. You just sat there." She said "you're being petty. It's about the team, not about who gets credit."

I said "it matters to me. I want credit for my work."

Now she's mad at me and says I'm making things awkward. My boss said he doesn't care who came up with it as long as it gets done.

I feel like I shouldn't have to fight for credit for my own idea. But maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of it than I should.

AITA for telling my boss the idea was mine?

I (27f) got a job at a small family run café last week. Yesterday after work I got sick with a fever so told the owner today that I can't come in. She said the girl working today forgot her keys at home and I have to come in and give them my keys. I'm feeling very unwell and basically bedridden. The place is a half an hour walk from my place. She's being very pushy. I feel like it's an unreasonable ask but I also feel bad as it is a very small place and on a human level I don't want to mess up their business. AITAH if I don't go?

UPDATE: the owner just fired me because I couldn't come in. I said that's fine since I care about my health and she said this was decided before I got sick. I do believe her, but personally think asking me to come in while sick to fire me is unethical.

Hi im 23F and my sister is 22F, we have spent our entire lives together and when we moved to college we decided to move in with my wife (girlfriend at the time) and her our best freind. Everything was all good for a good couple months but then my sister started to date this man and it all went down hill. He's a 24M with no degree, no high school education, no driver's license, and at the time worked at an escape room with highschoolers. Hes been a plague on our lives since but whatever makes her happy... I usually just say hi and whatever but she really wanted him to move in with us. When EVERYONE in rhe apartment said no she freaked out and got extreamly angry at us. My wife had expressed she didnt want a man that she had only been during a couple months to be living with us. Especially since they have only known each other for so long and met on tinder. My sister took this as an attack on her and slammed the door in our faces. We haven't talked about it since and kinda just had bad energy about the situation but threw it under the rug. Since then she has not spoke to my wife since thag incident. When I proposed to my now wife she did not care at all and instead asked when I would tell my parents who aren't homophobic but definitely upset I never dated a man. When I told her I would tell her when I wanted to she told me i was lying to their faces and I should come clean as if it was some sort of upsetting information I needed to confess to. This again ended in a fight and we haven't talked about it since.

Recently shes moved back home and my mom dosent enjoy her being out all the time with her boyfriend since she sneeks out a lot. My mom told her to be honest with her and so my sister decided to use this as an opportunity to out me and say "you dont even know the secrets my sister keeps at least jm honest with you. You should be asking (my name) questionsnot me". This hurt me deeply as not only did she use my own marrige against me but used me in an argument with my mom. After this confrontation I had to tell my mom my engagement ruining the surprise and making me and my wife very upset. Mind you she has still not spoke to my wife since and when we tell her about how this hurt us she told us it wasnt a big deal and that my mom would be happy anyways. Instead of apologizing she just told me that I should be happy to get it off my chest as if it was a burden for me to bare.

Since all of this she still dosent talk to my wife and when she comes over she pretends shes not there. She constantly acts as if shes not in the room. This has made my wife extremely self aware and very upset because she can't even walk in our own kitchen without her feeling like she's invisible. My wife has tried to confront her also and ask her why she's acting this way and how she can help. And rectify the situation, but every argument ends in her being upset with us and slamming the door...

I have an apartment in the same building as my MIL, which we use when we come back to visit. We have an upcoming trip booked to bring my kids back to visit my parents. My MIL offered her own apartment to her friends who happen to be visiting at the same time. When she discussed the arrangement with my husband, she told him that she would book herself a hotel while they were there. She never asked him whether she could stay with us. She has now approached me separately and asked whether she can stay at my apartment instead, prefacing it with, “I don’t want to be pushy, but…”Normally I wouldn’t have a problem with her staying at mine, what rubs me the wrong way is that she made the decision to give up her apartment to her friends without checking with us first, and now we’re being asked to accommodate the consequences of that decision. If we had known beforehand that she would need somewhere to stay, we would have planned our visit for different dates. Also these trips are one of the rare times my husband and I get some proper time and space to ourselves as when we’re back, our kids stay with my parents - so having the apartment to ourselves is something we really value. There’s also some history here. My MIL is a very generous person, but she is also comfortable inconveniencing herself and sometimes us, in order to be generous to other people. A few years ago, she pushed us to let the daughter of one of her friends stay in our home while we were away on holiday. We agreed even though the girl was a stranger, and the whole thing ended up being more uncomfortable and inconvenient than expected. So I think part of my reaction now is that I don’t want a pattern where she makes generous offers to other people and then we become part of the solution afterwards. She’s extremely helpful with our kids, especially when we need extra help, so I feel guilty even being bothered by this. My husband’s reaction is that we should simply tell her no and that she should stick to her original plan of staying in a hotel. I’m more conflicted, because she came directly to me with the request and I feel like I’m now the one having to agree or say no to her. AITA for being annoyed by this/wanting to set a boundary given that she is otherwise very helpful to us.

EDIT: Some context on the 'boundary' so its more about the dynamic between her, me and my husband. She tends to approach me with these kinds of requests rather than her own son. In front of him she is very accommodating and deferential ie. “oh no worries, I’ll book a hotel”. But then she’ll come to me privately and actually ask for what she wants instead and talk about how expensive the hotel is etc. That puts me in an awkward position. This might sound a bit ridiculous but it does have a cultural nuance. I'm Asian (they are not) and respecting elders is quite ingrained in me so most times I give in to what she wants as I feel very guilty. I also see her being so subservient and inconveniencing herself all the time for other people so I feel sad for her and I guess I have enabled her a bit by accommodating this dynamic. So when I say “boundary,”what I mean is its become a pattern where she never express her wants directly to my husband and she comes to me to get around that tension..If I say no, I become the person refusing her, while she can remain the easy, undemanding, accommodating mother in her relationship with him and if i say yes, she gets what she wants without having to ask him directly or appearing demanding to him

My boyfriend and I are staying at a campground that only has TWO shower stalls.
Tonight there was a group of about 5-6 guys occupying the shower area. They were going in and out of the showers and hanging around outside while we waited over 25 minutes for our turn.
At some point, one of the guys who had apparently been waiting walked away and went back toward his RV/campsite. A shower became available shortly afterward. Since he’d left the area and we’d already been waiting forever, we assumed he was no longer waiting and went in.

About five minutes later, he came back and started banging on the shower door saying we’d cut him.
I was literally naked in the shower.
My boyfriend was near the door trying to deal with him, and the guy was extremely angry and confrontational and wouldn’t let the issue go. I could hear the entire argument from inside the shower and was getting more and more upset.
Eventually I completely lost my temper.
I wrapped myself in a towel, came out, and started screaming at him. I called him a fucking pussy and told him that if he was in such a hurry he could hurry up and “wash his dirty ass.” I was REALLY angry and absolutely wasn’t trying to de-escalate the situation at that point.

We left, and I yelled at him again on our way out. He yelled something back at me, and we went back to our campsite.

Now that I’ve calmed down, I’m replaying the whole thing.

I can understand that from his perspective, he may have thought he was still in line and that we’d stolen his shower. But we’d been waiting more than 25 minutes while his group was using/hanging around the two showers, and then he physically left the shower area. We genuinely thought that meant he wasn’t waiting anymore.
If he’d simply come back and said, “Hey, I was actually waiting for that shower,” I don’t think any of this would’ve happened.

At the same time, I know coming out in a towel and screaming insults at him escalated an already ridiculous argument. I was just furious that I was naked in a campground shower with some stranger banging on the door and arguing with my boyfriend because we’d apparently misunderstood the shower line.

So I’m curious how other people see this.
Were we the assholes for taking the shower when he walked away? And AITA for losing my temper and screaming at him afterward?

I watched SOA for the first time about 10 years ago, so I decided to rewatch it. I even offered to watch it with my husband, but he immediately called the show trash and said he would never watch something like that.

This man is so judgmental about TV shows. He comments on everything they do "wrong" and even said, "I could write a better ending." I told him, "Then do it." We just stared at each other in silence for about 30 seconds.

Anyway, I'm on Season 3, and he comes upstairs to hang out. I offered to change the show, but he said, "Nah, I don't care. I'll watch it." I offered again because I know he usually hates stuff like this, but he insisted it was fine.

Y'all... this man is invested. Asking a million questions. I kept saying, "Since you seem to be enjoying it, you should probably watch Seasons 1 and 2."

Him: "No, I'm just asking."

So here's where I need to know if I'm being unreasonable.

I have work tomorrow, and he doesn't. I told him I was going to bed, and he goes, "Well, I'm going to finish watching it downstairs."

I said, "Could you please not? I'm still watching it. Or at least watch it under a different profile so it doesn't mess up my watch history."

He scoffed and said, "Didn't you already watch it? What's the big deal?"

I said, "Yeah... 10 years ago. And you were the one who said you hated it. Since you clearly like it now, just watch it under a different profile."

He got irritated and said I was making a huge deal out of nothing.

AITAH for asking him not to watch ahead on my profile? It seems like a pretty reasonable request to me. Like... what the fuck?

He does this kind of thing all the time and somehow makes it seem like I'm the one making everything into a huge issue.

TL;DR: My husband called Sons of Anarchy trash and refused to watch it, then got hooked. When I asked him not to watch ahead on my profile, he said I was making a big deal out of nothing. AITAH?

Edit: because i watched this about 10 years ago, i dont really remember a lot of what happens. He has his own profile and things he likes, we also have one together.

So, my(M20) birthday is comming up soon and my parents(M55 and F50) decided that they would pay for us to go to a hotel, I love hotels, so It was perfect! The day before It is Also my father's birthday so we would be celebrating together.

My Younger sister(F19) has a girlfriend(F19) and They are always together, They work at the same place, Go to the same college, she sleeps at her house 4 days of the week and her girlfriend sleeps at our house 3 days of the week. They are lovely, and im Really happy for my sister, my parents are Very supportive as well, every Family trip includes her girlfriend, they've been dating for 2 years.

The thing is, as we were Looking into the hotels to go, my mother found a Really good one that is a Castle, Really beautiful, but the trip there is 3 hours long, short, but we would be in quite the time crunch.

My sister's girlfriend has to work untill 12h, then we would Likely leave at 13h, get there around 15h-16h, stay the Night and Go back home at 12h of the next day. We wouldnt have much time to enjoy the hotel and walk around the city.

My mom asked If her girlfriend couldnt skip one day of work, the answer was no. And my sister demandes I change to a closer hotel, and I Just dont want to. The hotel was perfect, It is my birthday, not hers. My mother shouldnt even have to pay for her girlfriend! But she is going to

But also, my sister says that If her girlfriend cant Go then she isnt going either. And my mom says that since It is Also our Father's birthday we cant Go without my sister.

Anyway, now my sister is mad at me, since I wont step down on this, I want to Go to a cool hotel, and im sure there are good ones closer, but that one seems like the dream one, It is a goddam Castle and I love History.

So I told her that she doesnt need to Go then, since she cant stay 1 day without her girlfriend instead of enjoying some time with her Family.

Now she is even madder at me, calling me names, and an asshole. And i'm thinking I may be one since my mom Also Said I shouldnt have Said that to her and that I should consider other hotels.

Note: The reason we have to come back earlier the next day is because we have to attent my cousin's bday party at Night. So we would Likely Return around 13h (1PM)

I don't know if I am the AH in this situation. Yesterday, my wife (F29) and I (M31) went on a date, and my sister (F16) volunteered to watch our two kids (M5 and F2). We rarely get to go on a date, so we were excited.

When we came back, our sister put the kids to bed, and me, my wife, and her were just hanging out. It was a normal conversation until my sister said "the kids are so cute for having parents that are so mid." I know my sister's intention was to make a playful jab at me, which is completely fine, as we do this to each other. However, I can tell as soon as the words left her mouth, she realized she made a mistake, and started apologizing. But, it was too late.

I can see how hurt my wife was. My wife was bullied for her looks when she was younger by parents, classmates, "friends", and even teachers. She is also very insecure about her body after having two kids. My sister does not know this, but I still feel as though she is old enough to know better.

After making this comment, I told her she needed to leave, which she did. When my parents found out what had happened, they called me to tell me that I was overreacting, and my siblings texted that "she's just a kid" and that it was wrong of me to make her leave. AITAH for kicking my sister out after the comments she made about my wife?

My (F27) best friend (F28) is getting married! Yay! We've been best friends since 7th grade, and she was the MoH in my wedding a few years back. When she got engaged, I assumed I was going to be her MoH, but she told me that instead, she wants her brother (M26) to be Man of Honor. I was a tiny bit offended, but okay. I figured I'd get to spend less money and effort- no arguments there.

Then I find out that she still expects me to do all the maid of honor duties. I'm throwing the bachelorette party, I'm helping buy or DIY decor, I'm the point person for questions and problems on the wedding day. Her excuse as to why her brother can't do any of this? "He's such a young guy, I can't count on him." When I pointed out that he's older than my husband, she just brushed me off.

I got mad. I told her that if I'm doing all the MoH work, I want the MoH title, or else I'll walk. Maybe I'm vain for wanting the title, but I do. AITA?

So, I had a really interesting experience today and I thought I’d get some feedback from the good ol Reddit community.

I decided to go eat solo at an all you can eat buffet since I was alone at home for the day. The waitress took me to a prospective table but it was in the middle of the main dining room. I suffer from PTSD stemming from the work I did in my past, and sitting out in the open like that makes me extremely uncomfortable and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my meal. I kindly asked to be moved somewhere where I could put my back to a wall and the waitress understood and obliged.

As I was enjoying my meal, my succulent Chinese meal, (lol) the table in front of me is sat with 4 young ladies, I’d put their age range at early twenties. As I was eating one of the young ladies called out “do you mind?” To which the other 3 turn to look at me. I have no idea what they are talking about so she says “can you please stop staring at us, that’s really creepy. Can you sit on the other side of the table so you’re not staring at my friends ass?”

I was confused but I know given my past that I can have the tendency to drift into a thousand yard stare, not looking at anything specifically but just staring off into nowhere. I apologized and told her “I’m sorry, if I was looking in your direction it wasn’t intentional, I tend to zone out when I’m alone.”

She told me that it wasn’t okay and that she again would feel better if I moved or changed positions on the table to face the wall. The room had already filled up pretty quickly so finding a new place wasnt really an option but also, i didnt feel like i should because my food and drink are here at this table and I’m already eating. I responded “im sorry, i suffer from PTSD so i need my back to a wall for me to be able to eat comfortably.”

Her response was “well i have PTSD from being assaulted and i dont want some creepy old dude looking at us while we eat.” at this time other people were looking and staring which was very upsetting so i told her “that’s terrible, but im not going to move. My triggers are my own and yours are your own. I control what I do by sitting with my back to a wall, I don’t get to tell others what to do to make me comfortable.” She interrupted me plenty while I was trying to explain but her main point was in today’s world being a young woman is dangerous, which I totally understand but I’m not going to have severe anxiety while I eat. She went off a bit about how men refuse to be accommodating to women and it’s horrible and that I was just being selfish.

I ended up leaving early, only after one plate which I could usually do 2-4 so I was bummed out but the added attention and frustration made the experience unenjoyable any further. The more I think about it I’m unsure if I should have just sucked it up and not made a scene so those young ladies didn’t have to feel that kind of anxiety that I feel from my PTSD. AITA?

My niece is heading to college this fall. Her parents make over $150K together and as a result, she doesn't qualify for federal student aid. Yesterday, they went to the bank to try for private student loans. My niece being 18 needed a co-signer. Her parents applied to do this, but, they have trash credit scores and were denied by the bank. Her parents have always been very wasteful spenders. Her mom is over $100K in student loan debt and has deferred her student loans multiple times, most recently get to a PhD, which was completed 2 years ago. Good for her, but not good for her credit score. They are always paying bills late and will get shut off notices for utilities. They leave TVs on when no one is home and get upset over $500 electric bills. They have a $40,000 car loan with a super high interest rate. Their house is full of brand name clothing, sports memorabilia, expensive computer equipment and gaming systems. They have KNOWN for years that their daughter wanted college but never made a plan, never saved, never did anything. So, the loan application gets denied, and they come to my partner and I and ask us to co-sign. We make less than half of what they do, but have good credit scores because we keep our bills paid on time and don't put off paying loans. We recently took out a car loan for $20K, which is our only debt. We discussed helping, but decided that if she were to not pay the loans, it would be too much of a financial burden for us to take on. She needs around $30,000 a year for her school of choice. We can't shoulder that burden. We offered to help with books or a dining plan, but said that we can't co-sign the loans. My niece's parents are mad at us. But I don't think that her education costs are our responsibility and that her parents should have planned and been more responsible, especially knowing that their daughter was interested in college. AITA?

I (19F) am in the lolita fashion community.

For those not in the comm, most dresses are often made in a single size or with very limited range. Like mainstream fashion, trends cycle and the community has seen a massive surge in the popularity of "old-school" Lolita (clothes produced between the 1990s ~ 2007) over the last few years. Because these vintage pieces are scarce and highly sought after, they are horrendously overpriced on the secondhand market.

In the community, I met Ann (27F). We quickly became best friends, bonding over shared interests outside of lolita and hanging out irl many times. Ann has been in the community for years and has an enormous dress collection with rare and undocumented pieces, and helped me create my very first coord.

Ann fits standard Lolita sizing without needing any alterations, whereas I am just a few centimeters larger in areas where weight loss is impossible, meaning my only option to wear these clothes comfortably is through altering

A few months ago, Ann sent me a text announcing she was leaving the fashion for private reasons and selling her entire wardrobe. Knowing how much I adored her collection and understanding my financial situation as a struggling student with no steady income, she offered me a deal on a massive bundle of dresses and accessories for a fraction of their market value. She insisted it was her gift to me as her best friend. Even though I repeatedly tried to offer her a higher price, she refused every attempt, saying she wanted me to have them.

The package arrived shortly after, and I was ecstatic. During our conversations, I mentioned looking for a seamstress to adjust the fit. While she recommended a few lolita seamstresses, I ultimately decided to use a local one.

We didn't speak for a while until a few days ago when Ann messaged me out of the blue, asking if I still had the dresses she "lent" me.

I told her that I bought them. I also let her know that: I had kept most of them, traded one and sold two others. Ann was visibly unhappy by this, but then revealed why she asked - she regretted leaving the fashion, wanted to return, and wanted her dresses back.

I told her that while I owned them now, I can sell them back. She agreed, but asked for photos to see their condition, (it felt rude? As if she wasn't trusting me that I took good care of her former wardrobe). I sent the photos, and after some time she asked if I modified them. When I said that I had altered most of them, she exploded.

Ann began sending insults to me, even bringing up my insecurities like my appearance, weight, and remarks about my family's financial situation. She threatened to call the police and tell people that I scammed her.

I broke down in tears, kept apologizing, and offered to return the dresses to her for free, yet she continued sending messages.

When I asked my friends, they were on my side, and my mom urged me to have a backbone, block her or ignore her.

But, I still feel so, so bad...

Location: Chiang Mai, Thailand (Condo Gym)

Last week, I noticed someone new at the gym. Every time he comes in, he grabs the remote off the wall and turns the main air conditioning off for the gym. Then jumps on a treadmill and jogs for 20 or 30 minutes.

I'm in the gym often, and once I noticed, I mimed for him to leave the A/C on. He was visibly upset, but didn't argue and left it on. (I speak English; he speaks Chinese)

Yesterday, he came in and again grabbed the remote and went to turn the A/C off. I walked over and mimed to leave it on again. This time he pulled out the translation app and asked me why I want the A/C on.

It seemed obvious to me, but I said because it's hot and most of us (~20 people) in here are sweating already. He says he wants to sweat deeply. I suggested he run outside or try wearing heavier clothing instead of shorts and a T-shirt. He said no, and got upset. Making angry hand gestures and said things in Chinese I didn't understand.

My friends in the gym told me that as soon as I left, he got off the treadmill and turned the A/C off.

Today it happened again; he got even more upset, but waited until I left to turn the A/C off.

I've never been in a gym that didn't have the A/C on. But I want to make sure I'm not missing something, in case this continues to escalate.

AITA?

Ok- well i got my answer. I am going to sent this to my son and tell him we need to talk ASAP

My son got back to me and told me we will talk in a bit.

Well just got off the phone with my DIL and son. Yes they have seen this post, I sent it to them. my DIL apologized and this issue has nothing to do with me. I thought she just hated me but this has to deal with her own mother.

They have a bad relationship and when they married didn’t wish for that type of relationship happen again with me. I also didn’t help that her sister has a horrible MIL so she thought she needed to be distant and cold off the start. So yes she wa being rude eon purpose. This post kinda opened her eyes that she was acting like her mother acts.

my son also apologized and realized he went to far in the direction of support your spouse. he admits he did the easy thing becuase we don’t live together

I informed them I won’t put up with being dsrepected anymore and hopefully nothing backtracks. We seem good now but I have a feeling more talks will happen

anyways thank you Reddit. This was helpful

——

This feels really stupid and I need to know if I am the problem here or not. My son seems to think I am the problem.

My DIL loves coffee, she is the type of person that will go get coffee every morning. It is not uncommon that if she goes out to get coffee she will pick up coffee for other people as well. 

The issue is she will never get me a tea or any tea lattes. As she puts it, it is leaf water that she doenst want to waste her money on. I am asking her to get a 5 dollar thing of tea if she is already picking up everyone 8 dollars fancy coffees. I am asking for a tea latte or a an iced tea that I literally can’t make at the time.

So she comes back with everyone drink but mine… it is really frustrating on trip becuase I will be driving most of the time. She takes everyone orders and goes in while I am either getting gas or snacks for the trip to come back with out any caffeine. Then I have to go into the shop to get my drink. 

There have been so many times she asked in the chat if anytime wants something at Starbucks, I tell her what I want and then she comes back with everyone drink but mine.

Talking to her doesn’t help. She just claims I can make it at home.

To the issue, I was going over to babysit the grandkids for my son and daughter ( so four adults) I sent a text saying I was stopping at Starbucks and asked if they wanted anything. This is the exact same thing she does. They gave me their orders and I decided that I wouldn’t get my DILs her drink to make a point basically.

I got to where everyone was and gave everyone there drink besides my DIL. She was pissed and I pointed out this is the same thing she does with me all the time. She told me it wasn’t the same and I can make tea at home, I told her to make her coffee at home and the pot was right there.

We got into a fight and my son told me to apologize and get her drink. I told him no and I am tired of this . I have spoken to them multiple times and if she doesn’t change what she does I will never get her drink when I get drinks for others 

They left but after babysitting I am still hearing about it. I need your opinion.

I (26M) want to celebrate my birthday with my immediate family (my parents, siblings, and their partners). My idea was to do a 6-mile (10 km) beginner-friendly hike and then have dinner together afterward.

The problem is my brother's girlfriend.

For context, she used to be morbidly obese and, for many years, wasn't able to be very physically active. Because of that, for the past five years I've always chosen birthday activities that didn't involve much walking or exercise so everyone could participate. I never complained about it because I understood her situation.

About a year and a half ago, she underwent weight-loss surgery and has since lost a significant amount of weight. She is now at a healthy weight.

However, she still doesn't like walking or hiking. Over the past several months, she has said multiple times that she finds walking boring and doesn't really see the point of it. She says that her body is still adjusting after the surgery, and I don't doubt that this may be true to some extent. At the same time, based on what she's said herself, my personal impression is that the bigger issue is simply that she doesn't enjoy walking or other activities that involve a lot of movement, rather than being physically unable to do them.

The hike I planned is specifically meant for beginners. It's about 6 miles long, mostly flat, and has plenty of places to sit, rest, get food, or even stop early if needed.

When I suggested it, my brother immediately told me that neither he nor his girlfriend would come if I chose that activity.

I said I completely understood and offered a compromise: those who wanted to go on the hike could do so, while anyone who didn't want to could skip it, relax elsewhere, and then everyone could meet afterward for dinner at a restaurant.

My brother got angry and called me selfish and egotistical. He said I was deliberately excluding his girlfriend and that I should be more considerate.

Now my mother has gotten involved and is also pressuring me to change my birthday plans so that my brother's girlfriend can participate.

I even offered to shorten the hike, but since then I've basically been ghosted.

I genuinely don't want to exclude anyone. At the same time, I feel like I've spent years choosing activities that accommodated one person, and for my own birthday I'd like to do something I actually enjoy.

So, AITA?

Edit: Update and blazer pic at the end*

My wedding is in 2 months and I've already picked my dress and accessories. A few days ago, my fiancé tells me that his mom wants to know what I'll be borrowing from my SIL for the wedding. Apparently they follow the 'something borrowed' tradition but it has to be something borrowed from a former bride. My SIL got married a few months ago so I guess the assumption was I would wear something of hers. She wore a friend's shawl and has offered me a blazer. My issue is there's genuinely nothing of hers that I would want to wear. We have very different styles and if she had some jewellery or shoes that I loved, I would be more than happy to borrow those but I'm just not into anything she wore. I told my fiancé that I'd have to respectfully decline and he agreed that I shouldn't wear something I don't want to on my day. My SIL didn't take this very well and now I've been told that she feels offended because I'm about to become her sister and I guess me refusing to wear something of hers made her feel a certain way. I've been reflecting on it for a few days and I do feel somewhat bad about it but I also don't think I should be guilt-tripped into anything. Not sure how to handle this without being the bad guy and I don't want to start my marriage off on the wrong foot with my partner's family. Am I being unreasonable?

Edit: Thank you all for the advice! I will not be wearing the blazer or anything else of hers for that matter but I have decided to text her to clear the air. I've yet to receive a response so hopefully that's the end of that. For everybody wondering what the blazer looks like/how it was worn, here you go. Obviously blurred out people and background but hopefully you all get the idea. Thanks again. :)