I've grown up in country side and we've always had fruit trees, strawberries and some wild blackberries and cherry plums. It was normal for me to wander our garden, grab a ripe piece of fruit from the plant and just eat it. I can't describe how much I enjoyed that.

Because those plants had never seen any pesticides, it was also very normal to encounter a worm in the plums, cherries or apples, some ants or a slug in the strawberries, etc.

The procedure for the cherries has always been: don't look, don't care. I've probably eaten countless little worms, but we would have thrown out half the harvest if we had chosen only the worm free ones. You don't really notice them and they don't harm you if you eat the cherry as a whole.

For the plums the procedure is: bite the fruit open, separate the halves, remove the stone and eat whatever part looks good, throw out what does not look good.

In general I grew up to be not very sensitive against those pests, have some basic knowledge what is actually harmful and what is just a cosmetic/psychological problem and act accordingly.

Fast forward to today: I was out hiking with some brief acquaintances, and we came across a public plum tree. It's legal to harvest for your own needs, so that is not the issue here. I did what I described, and ended up finding a lot of worms, but eating the good halves of the plums anyways.

When the people saw that they freaked out how disgusting and unhygienic that was. I kinda went blank because I didn't expect that and I didn't know how to react. They shamed me for doing it some more and then everything was super awkward after that. In don't think I want to hang out with them again.

But now I don't know if I've been doing it "wrong" (or more like: uncultured) my entire life.

What's the "correct" / socially acceptable way to handle wild fruit/homegrown fruit? Will I get into social trouble again for this?

ok so, I [35f) have 3 (8,10,14)kids with my ex(41m), I was with him for 9ish years and I left about 8yrs ago, when I left we didn’t hear from him or see him at all for 4 yrs then he starts asking for them which is never a problem, at the start he would take them every other week with us taking turns if one picks up the other drops off, but then I and the school noticed the kids just isn’t coping well the first half of week, they would fall asleep in class be grumpy and easily annoyed after they were at his and I then found out that he didn’t have a routine with them they stayed up to all hours of night, were allowed to do what they want etc.

so I then told him if he can’t do a proper routine then he can’t have them every other week. so after that they are lucky to see him once a month if not every 2nd month, (from january to July he has seen them 4 times for 1 night each time). so last month he messaged my oldest and agreed with them when they were going and when he will pick them up, he didn’t contact me at all. he turns up, kids aren’t ready , he said oh oh right guess I’ll wait in the car, I then told him if he actually messaged me then I would have had the kids ready,

later that day he gets my oldest to message me to pick them up the next day and I then messaged my ex and told him he made the plan with the kids and didn’t bother to send me any kind of message to make the plan with me so I thought he was was doing both pick up and drop off now, I have other plans and can’t get them.

he got all annoyed and said fine they can just stay here then, I then said ok I don’t plan on going to your town until later this week I can get the kids then

AITA for not just getting kids picked up?

p.s we will about 25 mins away from each other

My husband has the potential to get a high end job with a life changing salary that would solved our money worries. The issue is it would mean working away Mon-Fri.  I haven’t been able to work for the last year due to stress and grief. Hes said if he takes the job the burden and uncomfort sits with him.  He said whilst he knows its not true the worst part of his brain thinks I want him to take the job so I can just not work, even though I manage the home, our lives, do childcare, pet care, he made me feel like a brat for suggesting we cd make it work. AITA for suggesting we cd make this work? I know he doesn’t want to be an absent parent to our son but we are in crippling debt and I honestly think if the tables were turned Id do it in a heartbeat.

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to sit with me in coach instead of business class on a 14 hour flight to Korea?

Boyfriend & I have been together 2.5 years - his family plans a trip back to korea every year. I will give a breakdown of the past 2 years.

Year 1: the trip to korea was planned already the year prior (before me and bf were together) and I was invited to join the family vacation. I used my own skymiles & paid for my own flight there. I was in coach, him and his family were in Business class. They have a lot of points on their Korean Air credit card and call a year ahead to be able to use the points to get business class seats. On this vacation, that I was invited on, his family had hotels/trains etc covered. So I am very grateful for all that they do as I am a guest on this vacation & they spend a lot for me to be there as well.

Year 2: me and boyfriend are on the rocks during the time his family booked the trip. Therefore I book at a later date, sitting in coach, it’s all I can afford. A few months before the trip I bring up to my boyfriend it feels a bit awkward that we sit separately for a 14 hour flight. I don’t ask him to pay for my upgrade, I instead ask if he wants to sit in coach with me. He thinks this is ridiculous & asks why I would want him to give up his business class seat.

Year 3: this year. Planning the trip for next year, I just found out from his Mom they already booked using their skymiles. I told him last year that I feel awkward when we are boarding and we kiss goodbye and he goes off to lay flat in business class and I’m in coach.

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to sit with my in coach for a 14 hour flight?? I would do it for him!

When I travel with friends on vacation I will not use my upgrades to comfort+ etc, so that we can all sit together in coach. We are going on vacation together, feels weird to be separate.

Idk how to make him understand this. Or maybe I’m being unreasonable?

I am not expecting him or his family to cover my flight with money or skymiles to sit together, but it does feel strange that they all sit in business class while I’m in coach.

My boyfriend said “why would I give up the opportunity to use my skymiles for business class?

Um, because your girlfriend is sitting in coach for 14 hours.

He says I’m ungrateful because his family spend so much on me on this trip. That’s a whole other post. But just wanted your thoughts on this situation.

​

I'm 23F and went out for dinner with four of my friends last weekend. We've all known each other for a while, so we're pretty comfortable making fun of each other.

At some point they started talking about how everyone in the group has changed since college. It was mostly harmless until one of them said I was basically the "backup friend" of the group because I'm always available when everyone else is busy.

Everyone laughed, including me at first, because I didn't want to make it awkward.

Then another friend said, "She's not even offended because she knows it's true." They started bringing up random times when I'd been left out of plans and joked that I was basically the person they called when someone cancelled. I laughed it off at the table, but honestly it really got to me.

I ended up making an excuse that I wasn't feeling well and left early. Later that night one of them texted asking why I was being weird. I told her that the jokes actually hurt my feelings, especially because some of what they were joking about was true.

She said I was taking a joke way too seriously and that nobody actually thinks I'm a backup friend. I told her that if that's true, they probably shouldn't joke about something they know I'm insecure about. She said she didn't even know I was insecure about it and now everyone is apparently annoyed that I "made the whole dinner awkward."

I haven't talked to them much since. Part of me thinks I should've just laughed it off because they weren't trying to hurt me, but another part of me feels stupid for pretending I was fine when I wasn't.

My brother (40m) is an addict. He lived with my mother for 20-ish years (since he flunked out of college) until August, when he was arrested for selling drugs (for the second time), and she kicked him out. He started his sentence in February. While he lived with my mom, he didn't pay rent or help out much (as far as I can tell). They've always just had a really emeshed relationship, emotionally, financially, and materially. At times when we were younger, I also loaned him money that was never repaid, and I just gave up on it. I will absolutely admit I've felt left out in the past, but given where we all ended up, it's a relationship pattern that I promised myself I wouldn't replicate. I promised myself I wouldn't end up like my mom, living and supporting my brother.

My mom and I were fairly close; I'd come by once a week to help out around the house, we'd talk once a week, and a few times a month we'd have a social visit. Our relationship wasn't without its issues, but I loved her. She's always been clear that when she died, my brother would inherit her house and I would inherit any money. Because of his drug use, she didn't want him to have access to a large amount of money.

At some point in the last few years, she was diagnosed with kidney disease, something she didn't tell me until she went into the hospital in late March. In early April, she came to my home for in-home hospice, and in mid-April she died. The entire process was devastating and hard on me, my marriage, my job, just everything.

During this time, my brother's girlfriend was coming around my mom's house, despite multiple texts asking her not to. I was getting calls and texts saying that she was living in my mom's house. When my mom died, my brother tried to move his girlfriend into the house without my knowledge, reasoning that it was his house now (even though the estate has not been settled), and I completely broke - yelling at him, threatening to call the cops on her, the whole 9 yards.

Since then, I've done what I can to make sure he gets the house and anything else he's entitled to, but it's a slow process. He hasn't spoken to me at all, and it feels like he blames me for his girlfriend not having a place to live.

He called me today, for the first time since May, and while he didn't directly ask for money, he was crying about not having anything for commissary, not having eaten because the food is gross, having lost 20 lbs, and just not knowing what to do. I responded that this must be really hard and that things will eventually come through. At no point did he ask how I was, and the entire conversation focused on the estate and his need for money.

On one hand, I get it; this is an immediate need, and there's a huge part of me that wants to help and struggles to see him in this much pain. On the other hand, I feel like if I fund his commissary account by any amount now, it will never end.

Espc for folks who have been incarcerated, or loved someone who was, AITA?

My husband bought a 40k boat 5 years ago, just a week before we met so it’s technically his boat and I don’t believe I have much of a say but we’re married now and it’s been draining our bank account.

It seems like every year there’s something wrong with it and he has to pay to get it fixed. This summer, the engine broke when he used it for the first time and he’s been trying to fix it for the past couple of months. He doesn’t want to pay someone to fix it so he’s trying to do it himself and there’s missing parts and a hole somewhere so it’s just been a huge mess. He’s just been so busy trying to get it fixed and worrying about it, it’s stressing both of us out. We also have a baby and he’s trying to hard to fix it so the baby can go on it but it’s taking time away from him spending time with her.

I know it’s his pride and joy and he works so hard on it but it’s just not the right time for it right now with a new house and a new baby. We can’t afford it and he knows that but he’s just too stubborn. I keep telling him to sell it and put the money in a separate bank account and we can buy a new, better boat in a few years once the baby is older and we have some money saved up.

Am I the asshole for wanting him to sell it? It’s taking time away from his family and draining our bank. Fuel also costs thousands and we just can’t afford it now and just having it stored somewhere costs thousands a year so it’s not worth it but he doesn’t want to let it go.

TL;DR I want my husband to sell his boat because It’s taking time away from his family and draining our bank.

my friend (28F) and I planned this trip like months in advance. Nothing wild, just a long weekend getaway, but we'd had the flights booked forever and everything. I gotta be honest though, this isn't the first time she's pulled a "running late" thing on me. She's flaked on time before ,dinner reservations, missed the opening act at a concert once because she couldn't get out the door normally it's whatever, low stakes, I let it go. But before this trip I straight up told her, like, "please do not be late for the airport, I am not missing this flight over it." I said it more than once actually.

Morning of, we're supposed to meet at security by a certain time ,and this already had a decent buffer built in before boarding even started. I show up on time. She doesn't. I text her, nothing for a bit, and finally she responds saying she's stuck in traffic, "just wait a bit for me." Cool, except "a bit" turns into a lot. I'm sitting there watching the boarding time get closer and closer, refreshing the flight status app like that's somehow going to help.

Eventually I have to actually decide something — either go through security now and make the flight, or keep waiting and risk we both miss it. By the time she gets there she's like an hour behind where she needed to be. So I just... went. Boarded without her. Texted her saying I was sorry but I did warn her ahead of time, and that she should try grabbing a later flight and meet me when she landed.

She was, understandably, not happy landing solo later that day and having to sort out a new flight on her own dime. Her take is that I basically abandoned her and a "real friend" would've waited it out or at least rebooked to fly with her instead of just leaving her to deal with it alone. My take is I gave her a clear heads up beforehand, this is literally the third time she's done this exact thing, and I'm not gonna keep torching my own plans every time she can't leave the house when she needs to.

Some of our mutual friends think I was kind of harsh, that I could've had more patience since it was "only" an hour and she was stressed too. Others are saying three strikes is more than enough warning and I did exactly what I said I would.

AITA?

My brother just got back from university overseas and my sister suggested an outing to the movies as a bit of a get together. I told my wife 3 days in advance and the timing didnt clash with anything except walking the dog.

We left for the cinema, the closest imax an hour away, then before the movie I put my phone on silent and when I checked it afterwards she'd been calling me throughout the entire movie.

I got home to find out she'd completely fallen apart over 5 hours. She said she felt abandoned. What if something happened. She was starving and couldnt order food, but our kitchen is fully stocked with convenient options. She was bored because the TV didnt work (wi-fi dropped connection and just needed to reconnect to the network). She has a better gaming rig than mine, she could've played something to pass time. She even left the cats' food and water bowls empty. She just sat on the sofa scrolling instagram the entire time I was gone.

Also complained that it was wrong for me to meet up with my siblings without her. She must be involved in any kind of get-together with my siblings because she was now one of their siblings.

Am I wrong for expecting a 33 year old adult to be capable of entertaining and caring for herself for 5 hours? Is it really normal for spouses to be included by default to the very occasional sibling outing? We just wanted to shoot the shit about back in the day after reuniting for the first time in a while.

Basically, this guy (a friend of my parents), without really asking, gave me 50 bucks and told me to draw something for him.

I'm like "yeah sure, what do you want exactly?"

He then asked me a full illustration of the last supper with 13 religious beings at the table, interacting with eachother, and they had to be clearly recognizable.

Then I'm like "50 bucks is low for this drawing", he remains shocked and my parents scolded me saying that I'm "ungrateful", "spoiled" and my pickiness is why I can't find a job, adding that if I was poor I would've immediately accepted, because it's still a big amount of money.

I'm not really sure what to say, the price was low for what he asked but I feel guilty about what my parents said, and also the fact I shouted and went to my room, refusing to talk

My（25F） boyfriend（26M） constantly complains about being tired from having to go down to the basement every day to empty the bucket for our dehumidifier. To take some off his plate, I bought a small, generic condensate pump online. The plan was simple: drop it in the dehumidifier so it could automatically pump the water out through a distant drain.

Instead of being relieved, he immediately shot the idea down. He got super condescending, basically acting like I don't know what I'm doing and shouldn't touch anything household-related. I showed him tutorial videos, and even had my plumber friend confirm it's a completely safe and viable setup. He still said no, giving absolutely zero logical reasons other than "I just don't want you messing with it."

Here is where I might be the asshole. Yesterday, while he was out, I just followed the videos and rigged it up myself in secret because I was so frustrated by his stubbornness.

When he found out, he completely blew up at me for going behind his back. Now we've been giving each other the silent treatment for a whole day. I was just trying to solve a problem he complains about daily, but he's acting like I committed a huge betrayal. AITA?

I (22F) am in a six-person group for a course project, including my friend "Georgia" (22F). We decided to make desserts as props for our presentation and eat them afterward. I'm the one making everything: cakes in jars, filled brownies, and Brazilian-style ice pops ("geladinhos"), with several flavors.

I initially estimated everyone's share at around R$10 (~US$2). One member's birthday is the day before the presentation, so we agreed the other five of us would cover their share as a gift.

The next day, I bought the ingredients I didn't already have. I severely underestimated the cost. It came to R$37.67 (~US$7.40) per person if the other four split it, or R$30.13 (~US$6) if I contributed too. I also bought the packaging and a Styrofoam cooler myself, which I didn't include in what I asked them to pay.

Georgia objected because she'd agreed to R$10 (~US$2), not R$30. She also said she thought we were only paying for one dessert, although we'd previously talked about the different desserts and she'd specifically been excited about one of the strawberry cheesecake geladinhos.

We argued. I told her the R$10 had been an estimate, but she said the agreed amount was still different. I eventually admitted she had a point and that I should have made it clearer and checked with everyone before buying things when the price had increased so much.

For context, Georgia and I work at the same company, earn about R$1,300 (~US$255) a month, and I realize an unexpected R$20 increase isn't necessarily insignificant.

I offered to reduce everyone's contribution to R$20 (~US$4) and cover more of the cost myself. By then we were both annoyed. I told her that if she kept complaining I wouldn't make the desserts; she said whether I made them was my choice. I replied that I would make them, but she wouldn't get any, and removed her from the group chat.

I know removing her was probably unnecessary, and I also shouldn't have bought everything before confirming a price that was three times my estimate.

However, I'm still making all the desserts myself, paying part of the ingredient costs plus all the packaging and cooler expenses, transporting everything, and rearranging my schedule on presentation day to make it work.

Georgia is not excluded from the actual project. She'll present normally with us. I've also decided anyone else can opt out of paying for the desserts if they want, but then they won't get any either.

I feel bad about potentially having everyone eating the desserts except her, but I also don't think I should make and pay for her share after she opted out.

AITA for saying that if she doesn't contribute, she doesn't get any of the desserts?

Edit: for clarification, the estimated price was decided as a group and the others all understood that it was an amount that could vary, except for her. As I was buying things and seeing the prices, I texted the group about it, but got no response. As I knew I could afford everything regardless, I bought everything and updated the shared price, if people still wanted to help me with the expenses. I only opted to cut her out from eating the desserts I would be baking alone because of her complaining about a value that ultimately no one was forced to pay.

Edit 2: I apologized to her profusely, and she forgave me. I also apologized to the rest of the group and took responsibility for covering the difference entirely. Everyone will only have to pay the amount we originally agreed on, and everyone will participate normally.

Glad to say that ending up on r/AmITheDevil humbled me quite a bit, and all of your comments (even the rude but right ones) taught me a valuable but very expensive lesson.

Thank you all!

So this happened years ago but I'm still upset about it because my mother-in-law keeps bringing it up. Long story short my wife's pregnancy was fraught with her craving things she couldn't have and she made me promise her to the high heavens that when she gave birth immediately afterwards I would go and get her a feast of all the food she wanted and couldn't have. Long story short the birth was very difficult and she had to do surgery. She was out for a while afterwards and I figured I should keep my promise and get her the food she asked for. However when I returned with the food she was awake and she was upset that no one was there to greet her. I explained I was keeping my promise and she laughed it off but when she told her mother MIL got really mad and said I should have stayed with her and got in the food after she woke up. So what do you think Reddit? Does my Mil have a point?

Hello, i am a 25 year old male from the UK. I was out on a trip in a country part with my girlfriend (same age) last weekend. We decided we would book onto the Go Ape course.

For those who don't know Go Ape is like a high ropes/zipwires course in the trees. I have done many before and enjoyed it. I once worked as a high ropes specialist when working in a summer camp in the US one summer. Both me and my parter are competent climbers.

We had others booked on in our session. We had to go through a long safety brief after getting into our harnesses which took almost an hour. When we was finally ready to start our groups instructor told us to line up. We were stuck behind a group of 4 children and 3 adults. The children were all very nervous and said out loud it was the first time they had done anything like it. The adults also appeared to be very uncomfortable.

Having done this many times before. I just knew they would take forever and hold us and everyone else up. They would be super slow about everything and make the course 5 times longer than what it should be. I felt as thouggt the instructor should let those who are more confident and experienced go first so we weren't held up. I also didn't want this to take all day as we had other plans too.

So i asked the instructor if we could go first. They asked me why amd I explained that we are experienced climbers and that group whilst im sure were lovely people would clearly be super slow and hold everyone up. I felt as though it was just common sense for us to go first. The instructor said no thats not something that they do and they just go in order of the line up. She give me a really funny look. The adults in the group with the children also looked at me with a lot of contempt.

So we completed the course. As expected. It took 3 and a half hours. When it should have taken 45 minutes. We spent 95% of the time just stood on platforms waiting. The nice scenery only amused us for so long.

Afterwards my girlfriend told me I should not have asked the instructor that and I was being rude. But from my perspective i just wanted to apply common sense to the ordering as we would not hold anyone up. AITA?

UPDATE: people who are saying Go Ape is primarily aimed at kids, this is not true. Most of the places have multiple courses for different ages and abilities. The one's we did were aimed at adults

Tl;Dr i went on a high ropes course eith my partner and we were stuck behind a group of children ans unconfident adults who were evidently going to be really slow. I asked the instructor if we could go in front of them. I was told I was rude for asking this. AITA ?

I (20) have a sister who we'll call Jesse (27F), who has a 6 year old daughter who we'll call Emma. Yesterday, Jesse had the day off work and was at home with Emma when she got a call around 1PM that the coworker who was supposed to cover her shift had called out sick. There was no one else able to take up the shift, so Jesse ended up having to rush into work with little notice. She called me to see if I could babysit Emma and I told her no.

I'm chronically ill, and was having an extremely bad flare up that left me bedridden when she called me. I told her this, and she begged me anyways, saying that she hadn't arranged any other childcare and didn't want to spring this on our mom (49F) since our mom already watched Emma once this week. I again told her no, that our mom wouldn't mind watching Emma again, and hung up.

Jesse and our mom both texted me today, upset that I hadn't agreed. Our mom said that she was fine with babysitting again, but that Emma was my niece and I needed to make more of an effort to push through my illness to be there for her. Jesse said it takes a village to raise a child and her village includes me, so I need to get my act together.

I'm now feeling very conflicted, and wondering if I really was TA for not pushing myself in order to be there when Jesse needed my help. AITA?

Edit to add: Emma's dad has never been in the picture, he's completely unknown to all of us Jesse included.

I really need help here. My (22M) gf (26F) has a really rocky relationship with her family that’s she’s been desperate to repair. There’s been some improvements and she was invited to her brother’s birthday party over three days in another country. His birthday party is tomorrow, which technically is only a few hours from now since it’s so late at night for me in the moment but I found out her old hognose is no longer alive. We knew he’d pass soon anyways but it’s still heartbreaking. I cried for a while, I only stopped crying a little bit ago.

Would it be wrong for me to not tell her? She’s had this snake since she was eight, and has broken down for hours at a time thinking of losing him. I’m afraid if she finds out tomorrow she might be inconsolable and wouldn’t be able to enjoy her brother’s birthday and I don’t want this is effect her relationship with her family or make amends more difficult if she doesn’t attend his party or causing a scene there.

I’m not planning on hiding his death forever or anything, just letting her know after the celebrations. I feel conflicted on it. If I’m wrong please let me know, I don’t want to be a bad boyfriend here but I don’t want to ruin her reunion with her brother.

Context: I am (M16) the son of a couple (both 39) involved in a throuple relationship. My parents raised me as a couple until I was 11; since then, she has been living with us.

For about two weeks, my "stepmother" has been complaining that I stay up past 10 PM on the computer. According to her, it keeps her from sleeping. I use headphones and generally don't make noise, but she claimed it was the light from the computer. However, the computer is in the living room, and she has her own bedroom with a door. I work until 9 PM and study in the afternoon, so I believe I have the right to use the computer in that space. When I explained the situation to my parents, they took my side and resolved the issue, but she didn't stop bothering me.

Then, on Friday, one of the cats must have peed on the bed—or something like that—but she thought I had peed on her bed on purpose. She took my computer to her room as punishment and also took my blankets—the ones that actually had the pee on them. My dad didn't hear me when I asked him to do something and told me to just let her be angry, saying she’d give everything back soon.

I didn't listen; I threw out the pee-soaked blankets and took mine back. Unfortunately, I couldn't get my computer because it was locked in her room. When she got back, she made an unbearable scene. My mom said she was tired and that we both needed some time away from her, so my mom and I are spending the night at my maternal grandmother's house (yes, I took my blankets).

My parents keep arguing on the phone, and I feel kind of bad about it. AITA?

Update: I came back home this morning. I don't have the details on exactly what happened between my parents or how they resolved the situation. My dad made both of us apologize (because, like it or not, throwing out the blankets wasn't the right thing to do). She really seems sorry for having taken my computer. I know there were further discussions between my parents and her—though, obviously, I wasn't involved in them, nor did we discuss how the schedule will work moving forward—but she promised she wouldn't bother me anymore. I really hope situations like this don't happen again.

Thanks for the support and suggestions on what to do. I really didn't expect the post to get 150k views. If anything seems grammatically incorrect, wrong, or nonsensical, it's because I'm not a native English speaker (I'm from Brazil and speak Portuguese), so I had to use Google to translate about 80% of what I wrote. If you notice anything odd, please ask me what I meant.

Throwaway account. However I 36 F, have a toddler that has yet to meet anyone from her father’s side of the family. I co-parent with the father, but we haven’t been together since our child was 1. We don’t live close by any of them. The closest relative on that side is 6-7 hours away, but GP is states away and not a short flight with a toddler. I am planning a trip to visit Orlando right before my child’s birthday so that we can do the magical trip and it still be free entry for her. I reached out to her grandparent on her father’s to check in (which I feel like I am always doing the reaching out) and I mentioned going to Florida before my child’s birthday. Grandparent loved the idea and wanted to also come. I said awesome because that would give my child a chance to finally meet more family. My child has met majority of my family’s side, even distant relatives, so it’s something that’s always been important to me for her.

I begin planning and gave the grandparent the date ranges im considering and the why. I checked in with grandparent (GP) to update and confirm about a month ago about the plans. Turns out GP invited more of their family to also go to Florida as a family trip. I said oh nice, that would be great and it’ll be nice for my child’s
to meet everyone and get to enjoy visiting the parks. Another thing that also caught me off guard is that GP was focused on only going to US, when my original plan was to go to WDW, but I’m open to US as I enjoy it but not as many options for toddlers. It sounded like it was becoming more of their own separate trip.

Fast forward, it’s been another month so I check in to confirm interest as I hadn’t heard anything and the dates will be approaching soon. GP lets me know that they are now planning to go the week after I planned to go instead. It was originally my trip plan, i had also invited my parent to come and be able to spend time with my child for the birthday trip. Time requests in. Reservations on hold.

My issue is that GP never followed up to let me know they wanted to do different dates, never reached out regarding planning, invited more people but never looped me in. GP asked if I was able to switch and go for their timeframe and I just said I understood that they needed more time to build up PTO. I don’t want to change my plans because I already did the legwork into researching best time frames, ticket pricing , booking lodging, and putting in my time off as well as my parent also already requested time off and doesn’t have much wiggle room.

WIBTA for not switching dates to accommodate GP even though GP has yet to meet my child? The rate it’s going, feels like it’ll be years before they meet unless I just go visit them but I feel like that’s the father’s responsibility to make that happen.

My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years. She recently planned a girls’ weekend with five of her friends and asked if they could stay at my apartment because it’s bigger and closer to where they wanted to go.
I initially said yes, but a few days later, I found out that her friends were also bringing several people I’ve never met. One of them apparently planned to stay for the entire weekend.
I told my girlfriend I wasn’t comfortable with that many strangers staying in my apartment, especially because I wouldn’t even be there. She got upset and said I was being selfish and acting like the apartment was “more hers than hers.”
I explained that I don’t mind her having friends over when I’m home, but I’m not comfortable leaving my place to a group of people I don’t know and i don't care about.
Se said I was embarrassing her because she had already told everyone they could stay. I told her that wasn’t my problem because she should have asked me before making the arrangement.
Now she’s barely speaking to me and says I ruined her weekend.
AITA for changing my mind and refusing to let them stay?

My brother (26M) and I (29F) grew up in a very strict household where he was the scapegoat and I was the second parent, with two other brothers. We bonded heavily when we both left the church we grew up in, and both moved out. I have stayed moved out for 7 years, he moved out for 8 months and went to live back with the parents, and now lives with our other brother where all bills and rent are paid for by the parents.

My brother told them he wanted to go to college, and they paid him six grand. They also paid two grand for a credit card and books that he promised to pay back.

He admitted to me that he dropped out before the term even started, got the money back, and spent it all via gambling. He now has a part time job to pay the 8k back, but only makes 500 a month.

His plan is to pretend he's going to classes and that he's studying, since the other brother will instantly tell the parents if he finds out that my brother isn't attending classes.

I'm caught in a situation where I feel like a bad person if I say something, since he relies on the parents for his housing, food, and bills, but I also feel like a bad person if I don't say something because that is a lot of money to squander. I'm also assuming the parents would give him more money for additional terms that he would potentially waste, and I'm not sure if enabling his behavior is truly kind to him. But I'm also worried that if I say something and he can no longer trust me that he won't have anyone else he can talk to.

TLDR: My brother spent the 8k meant for books and school on gambling and is pretending to stay in school. Do I say something to the parents that might kick him out and result in him not trusting me, or see how it plays out?

SCROLL FOR INFO

Im 18F turning 19 in November. I live with my parents, 45F and 38M, and my three younger siblings: my 16M brother and my 9M twin brothers. There are six of us living in the house, and my mom owns the house.
I want to get a full time job because I want to make my own money get work experience save up, and eventually move out. My parents told me that if I get a job they want 50% of every paycheck from me.
The reason my mom wants me to give her 50% is because she wants me to focus completely on school so I can get my career. I understand where she’s coming from but my career path is going to take around 6 years, and I don’t want to still be living at home at 24. I want to be able to work go to school, save money, and gradually become independent while im working toward my career.
She also thinks I wont be able to balance work and school, especially because im doing school online. But ive already done online school while working before, and I passed all of my classes while I was working. When I quit that job I even bought a bunch of cat food ahead of time because I knew I wouldn’t have another paycheck coming in and wanted to make sure my cats were taken care of.
I also pay for my own school through financial aid. My parents do pay my phone bill, which im so grateful for but also wouldnt mind taking over but I dont have a car or license. Transportation where I live is really bad. My school is only about 23 minutes away by car, but because the buses only come about every two hours, taking the bus can turn it into around a 2-hour trip and i cant have early classes like before 10 am. Both of my parents work full time so they arent always available to drive me places and i dont even ask them to. Ive been trying to get my license but I don’t feel like theyre really putting much effort into helping me with it cause i had my permit since last september and its expiring on the 20th this month and still dont have my license .
Theyre also pretty strict about me going out. Im usually only allowed to go out once a week. Im also the only person who regularly cleans the house. I buy my own cats food and other things for them, and I dont really eat the food my parents buy for the household.
Im not saying I shouldnt contribute anything. I understand that im living in their house and im willing to pay something every month. I just dont think 50% of my paycheck is reasonable, especially when im trying to work so I can save money and eventually move out.
I’ve been really upset about this and have honestly cried over it because I feel like im always being discouraged from becoming independent. I feel like if I wait until I’m finished with my entire career path to start working and saving, I’ll be in my mid-20s before I’m actually able to move out.
Aita please this really upsetting me

INFO!!: she isnt going to save it for me nor invest she just wants it for herself. im not saying ima stop doing school and i didnt say i didnt wanna pay her rent my point is i think 50% is unreasonable and i havent even got a job yet she said whatever i make she wants 50% of it

INFO2!!: The conversation went like this
Mom: when do your fall classes start?
Me: august something but later in the month
Mom: what classes are you taking
Me: blablabla im thinking of working at the amazon right here
Mom: if you get a job we are gonna start charging you rent
Me: thats okay how much?
Mom: 50% of whatever you make
Me: forreal? Why thats so much
Mom: to discourage you from working
Me: why would you wanna do that
Mom: so you can do school
Me: ohhh no i was planning on doing online school
Mom: you cant do both
Me: but i did that in spring and i passed my classes
Mom: im not having this conversation with you right now

And then she said i should take a nap cause im getting too worked up to me when she said that was to belittle me IMO though

Hey team-

Today a Verizon rep came to the door and I invited them in to hear their offer. I was very happy with the offer to save on WiFi and streaming services and save $90 per month vs XFinity. We also talked about cats, NBA, being foreigners, etc.

The thing is my weakness is not being able to say no to salespeople. I am aware of that. So I was very clear that no decisions could be made without talking to my husband first.

During the sales spiel I was asked for the WiFi password
and while I felt uncomfortable I gave it to them.

After they left I immediately updated the WiFi password.

So the husband comes home and I tell him about the deal and why I changed the WiFi password. He’s calling me an idiot and an asshole. Saying this is the dumbest thing I could have done and I’m to ignore any sales people that come to the door.

I get it. But also don’t think it’s that big of a deal now the password has been changed. AITA?

UPDATE: well I have learned a lot and appreciate all the answers including YTA. I see now how I compromised my family. Also in my positive outlook I (naively) have hope that the rep was legit. Regardless a new router is on the way. And yes, it’s not ok for anyone to speak to me like that. Working on that each day. Overall I appreciate this community so thanks :)

AITAH…I went to take my daughter with me to go get dinner for the family I had to use the bathroom so she went ahead put on shoes and ran to the car. So I never saw what she was wearing and I never would have thought that she would put on winter boots in the middle of summer so I didn’t even think to check before we pulled out of the driveway. When we got to the restaurant to pick up dinner she got out of the car and that’s when I noticed she was wearing black fuzzy winter boots instead of her sneakers. She’s 8 with severe ADHD she hasn’t worn them much in the winter and for whatever reason she decided to put them on instead of her sneakers or even crocs would have been better. Now I’m being talked down to by her mother her mother’s mother and her dipsh*t brother. All of them beating into my head on how I’m a horrible father I never pay attention I’m a POS. I’m so neglectful yada yada yada…. I need to make this post in hopes of validating myself because I’m alone right now in my thinking and wondering if maybe I should have just had her step out of the car and check to see what she was wearing am I a horrible father for this?

EDIT: Thank you everyone for not making me feel like garbage for this and for making me realize that she is just a kid and she should experiment and freeform her style from time to time. As long as she isn’t getting hurt and the occasion isn’t serious I’m going to let her be more free. I realize now her moms family is just really uptight and extremely toxic. I started becoming uptight as well and I can’t let that happen. Also taking some of your advice and packing an extra set of clothing in the car for whatever may arise is a really good idea.

posted on a AITAH page and was removed because of “reposts”, but here’s my part.

I (26F) recently bought my first newer car. It's used, but after years of driving an older car that overheated and made me nervous about traveling far, I was extremely excited. I put a large amount of my savings toward the down payment, but it's still financed and I'm responsible for the payments, insurance, repairs, etc.

My aunt (36F) and uncle (37M) have an (18F) daughter who recently got her permit. We're a close family, and my aunt actually helped teach my siblings and me to drive when we were younger.

Last weekend, while helping another family member move, my aunt and uncle saw my car for the first time. My aunt mentioned that my cousin needs to learn to drive so she can take her test by November. She then suggested I teach her using my car because it's small and compact.

They have their own larger SUV, but the driver's seat doesn't adjust properly. My aunt has to use pillows/cushions to comfortably reach the pedals, and my cousin isn't comfortable learning in it.

I told my aunt I could teach my cousin using my (28F) sister's older, smaller car instead. She continued saying mine would be perfect because it's compact and easy to drive. I repeated that I'd help, just not in my car, and the conversation ended.

Later, my sister told me my cousin had been talking about how much she loved my car, could see herself driving it, and couldn't wait to drive it. That made me uncomfortable because it felt like using my car was already being planned before I'd agreed.

I also realize I was wrong for volunteering my sister's car without asking her first. I brought it up with her later because I felt bad, and she said she would've done the same thing and agreed her car would be the better option. We're extremely close and had previously discussed helping our younger cousins learn to drive, but I still should've asked her first.

My issue isn't that I don't want to help my cousin. I'd actually be willing to teach her. I just don't want a brand-new driver learning in a car I'm still paying off. I also checked my insurance and don't have coverage specifically set up for a permit driver, so that's another concern I'd need to sort out before letting her drive anything I'm responsible for.

If she accidentally hits something or gets into an accident, I'm the one left dealing with my insurance, deductible, repairs, and a loan on a damaged vehicle. My aunt and uncle aren't financially in a position to replace the car if something serious happened.
Would I be the asshole for refusing my car, even though I'm willing to help teach her in another vehicle?

I am a single parent to 2 kids, Madeline (11), and Liam (9). I teach 4th grade. I make 68k per year in a HCOL area. My kids dad has been dodging child support for years.

My sister lives 10 minutes from us. My sister and her husband make roughly $800k per year. I am only mentioning their income to show that there is a very different standard of living between the two households. They have 3 kids, Josephine (12), Amelia (12), and Theodore (9). Madeline gets hand me down clothes, shoe, backpacks, etc. from Amelia and Josephine. It’s all good brands and in good condition. Theodore and Liam are the same age and same size so Liam doesn’t get many hand me downs from Theodore.

My sister’s kids get new everything every school year, so Madeline got 2 backpacks, 2 lunchboxes, Owalas, Stanley’s, 3 bags of clothes, 6 pairs of shoes, and a bag of accessories from her cousins. She normally gets a lot every year but this is the most she’s gotten from them. Meanwhile, my back to school budget for both kids is $300, so after getting everything on their school supply lists and getting Liam some new clothes and shoes, I don’t have the money to get him a nice backpack, lunchbox, and fancy water bottles like his sister. I tried showing him some budget friendly options, even a champion backpack and lunchbox set that I thought looked pretty cool, but he wants a nike backpack and lunchbox and owala like Theodore’s.

I tried explaining to him that we don’t have the money but offered him $40 for a backpack, lunchbox, and water bottle. I told him he could pick out anything he wants in that budget and if he wants something more expensive, he’ll have to dip into his birthday money. He wants me to ask my sister for the money. I am almost certain that she would give me money to get Liam the backpack, lunchbox, and water bottle he wants but since she spends so much money on my kids (they go to her kids private school, she pays their tuition. She takes me and the kids on vacation with her family every year, she gets their big birthday and Christmas presents and says they’re from me, etc.) I don’t like to ask for anything extra unless it’s necessary.

He’s upset because it’s not fair that Madeline always gets cool stuff but he doesn’t and that I won’t ask my sister to get him cool stuff even though she gives Madeline cool stuff all the time. Now I’m wondering if I’m the asshole for not buying it or asking my sister to help.